Chapter Text
Impulse follows her home from the meeting.
She doesn't need to look back to know it. She hears the rockets ignite, hears the wind rushing past the body behind her, and she knows the sound too well. She knows him too well.
There are only so many on Hermitcraft that would dare to follow her when she's obviously pissed, only so many who would disobey Xisuma's ask to stay after the meeting, only so many who would risk being this close to her on her way home.
Who trust her to lead the way.
She doesn't look at him as she lands. She doesn't see a need.
He lands moments later, and she can tell he had to do a couple spins in the air to burn off momentum. Her chest swells with pride. It means he wasn't sure she would be returning home, and for that, she takes the win.
"Gem," he calls, as she starts her steady march inside. She's got an inventory full of food to put away, and a sleeping Pearl to check on. Impulse can either catch up, or get left behind.
She hears him start to jog, hurrying to catch up to her longer strides when she doesn't stop.
She's grateful he can't see her smirk.
"Gem, c'mon! Slow down, talk to me!"
"There's nothing to talk about."
"Obviously there's something!" He's annoyed, groans when she doesn't slow down, and picks up his pace. He's right behind her now, but she doesn't slow down. "Fine! I can walk and talk!"
"Then you'd better keep up."
Impulse makes a noise, somewhere between a growl and a groan, but she doesn't afford him the dignity to look at him. She's pissed at him, at Cleo, at everyone from those stupid games. They may be her friends, but their actions and inactions alike hurt Pearl, and for that, she's not sure she can ever forgive them.
"Fine! Whatever!" He huffs, catches up to her side, but she doesn't look down at him. "I'll just ask outright then! Are you pregnant, Gem?"
The question is so shocking she nearly trips over her feet. She spins on her feet instead, no doubt surprising Impulse with her sudden stop, and revels in the way he trips over his feet to keep himself from running past her.
"Me."
"You!" Impulse points a finger at her accusingly. "There's only so many Hermits on the server with a functioning uterus, Gem. And even fewer of them who leave to servers where gamerule playerBreeding might be turned on. You left in such a hurry! It's you, isn't it?"
"I'm not pregnant." Her tone is cold. She knows it, but she doesn't appreciate his accusations. She turns back forward, and marches on instead, ignoring Impulse's indignant cry.
"Oh, come on- Fine! Then I bet you know who it is. That's why you left, isn't it?"
"Impulse," Gem says, through grit teeth, "you heard Xisuma. The pregnant Hermit doesn't want everyone to know-"
"It's Pearl," he interrupts, and Gem stops. He stops behind her, a couple feet away, as he tries to catch his breath. "Isn't it? She's pregnant."
"It isn't my place to say."
"That's a yes." Impulse sighs, and Gem doesn't turn around. She doesn't look at him as he steps up next to her, obviously hesitating, before he puts a hand on her arm. She wants to shrug it off, but she doesn't. "Is she... okay?"
"No." It's automatic, and the tears to follow are as well. She squeezes her eyes shut, and tries to push them back. She doesn't want to cry now. "No, she's not."
"Is she... Is it someone we know?"
"I can't tell you."
"Can you... Tell me if it's a Hermit?"
Thank fuck he's not. This would be so much worse if...
"He's not, no."
"A life member then."
"I can't tell you." His hand rubs over her arm, small circles that she's sure are meant to be comforting. Maybe if things weren't so complicated, they would be.
"Right," he sighs, and she hears him drag a hand through that stupid gross bushy beard of his. "Right. Can I see her?"
"It's not a good idea," her voice is a whisper, and she almost hates herself for it, wrapping both arms around herself in a facsimile of a hug. "She looked so scared when Xisuma came to visit... Like she was scared he was going to... To..."
"Oh no," Impulse moans, because she's sure he picks up on why she can't finish the thought, on what she's implying happened to Pearl.
"So I think it's best if it's just me for a while," she says instead, and rubs her fingers in circles over her eyes. She can feel a few tears break free, but she doesn't bother to wipe them away. "I don't know who all she'll trust, so just... Just me."
"Is... Is she keeping it?" Impulse's voice is so low she barely hears him, and Gem is forced to nod, her shoulders shaking as she forces herself to hold back a sob.
"She doesn't have a choice." It's so hard to admit, so hard to say out loud. "Xisuma can't do anything. Not conceived on Hermitcraft, so... So she's stuck. She's too scared to see an off server doctor."
"Fuck," Impulse whispers, and she's inclined to agree.
She doesn't say anything, and just lets the words hang so very heavy in the air. The tension is palpable, painful, cloying and choking.
Gem hates it. She wishes there was a better solution. Any solution at all.
Eventually, the silence grows for too long, and Impulse sighs through his nose. There's pain in it, and she understands it completely. She feels it, too.
"I won't tell anyone. If... If they ask, I'll tell them neither of you told me anything. I'll keep her secret safe... I just wish I could have..."
He trails off. She's sure he's blaming himself, in some capacity.
She would too, if she'd been there.
"Thank you," is all she dares to say.
"Yeah. Yeah, of course. It's the least I can do." He pauses for a moment, breathes in long and slow, and lets it out in a sigh through his nose. "Gem, you'll let me know when she's... If she wants to see me? When she's better? You'll let me know, right?"
She wants to hate him. She wants to fight, kick, scream. She wants to hate him like she hates Cleo and Scott and Grian. She wants to punish him, never speak to him again, make sure he feels all the pain he's inflicted on Pearl with how he treated her, with what little she got out of her in regards to the other server between panic attacks.
But it's Impulse.
He loves them both. He cares.
He lied, he hurt her, and...
"If you can get Grian to see about retrieving her dog," Gem says, because if there's anything she understands about that stupid server, it's that Pearl had a dog she loved more than herself, "then I will. I'm sure she'll even be willing to see you sooner if you do."
It's a bargain. It makes her a terrible person. She's abusing his worry, his kindness, his care.
But he hurt her.
She has to know if she can trust him again.
"Tilly?" Impulse asks, and Gem shrugs. She doesn't know if that's the right name or not. Pearl had been in hysterics, and she hadn't wanted to push the issue."It's gotta be... Yeah, I'll... I'll see what I can do."
"Thank you."
It grows quiet again. Quiet for so long that Gem grows restless, but she doesn't turn to look at him. She stares up at her budding castle, and when it seems Impulse has nothing else to say, she starts towards home.
His final parting words ring in her ears, long after he's gone.
"Keep her safe for me, Gem..."
She will.