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i’ll be back this night

The message pings on Alicent’s lockscreen and she almost drops her phone. Adrenaline rushes through her.

A second later the school doors open and a hoard of teenagers swarms over the steps towards the street. Chattering, laughter, she barely hears it over the bludgeoning of her pulse, and she swallows hard, darting her gaze through the crowd to find Helaena. She walks as one of the last, SYRAX tour-hoodie tugged into a long black skirt, Doc Martens, and a long masculine winter coat. She’s not stopped wearing the heavy eyeliner since the concert, getting up early every morning to draw it on in the bathroom mirror while Aemond brushes his teeth and Aegon still snores from his room next door. Once, Alicent heard Aemond compliment the look, saying Helaena looked like that singer, and Helaena beamed the rest of the day, skipping with her headphones down to the driveway. 

Now, Helaena’s mouth turns down when she spies Alicent. Something heavy drops in Alicent’s stomach. She waves to her daughter.

“Hello darling!”

“Hi mom.” Helaena looks around her, checking if anyone sees them together. “You know I can just take my bike. Or the tram. Or the bus.”

Alicent forces a smile. “I know, but it’s getting chilly and I don’t want you to catch a cold on the bike, or from someone in public transport.”

“Mom, taking the bus doesn’t make people sick.”

Alicent clasps her car keys. “Your brothers don’t complain.”

“Aegon’s a lazy ass and would miss the bus every day, and Aemond would never disagree with you.” Helaena opens the car door and gets in before Alicent can say “Language!”. At least she takes the passenger-seat and not the backseat, as she sometimes does when she’s mad. Still, her sour expression does not lift. She fidgets with her headphones.

“How was your day?”

“‘kay.”

Alicent turns the ignition and moves the Mercedes smoothly out of parking. The heavy engine purrs beneath her and Helaena shoots her a displeased look. Her daughter’s never been comfortable with displays of their wealth, not when half of her classmates come from the southern part of town, long term residential families who avoided the explosion of housing prices, but none quite as comfortable as they are. Especially most of Helaena’s friends. Her new best friend—a spike of dread shoots through Alicent—is a girl three years her senior, with dyed hair and always in tattered black clothes, stylish Helaena protested, and lives on the edge of town in an old witch-house. 

“I’d really rather take the bus.”

“How’s…Alys?” she asks. She cannot let her discomfort show if she wants to keep Helaena happy. Perhaps Rhaenyra is right—she told the singer of Helaena’s friend one tipsy evening on the phone, and Rhaenyra laughed first and called her bougie and it was not a compliment. Then talked to Alicent about her fears and said she used to be a weird goth kid too. Alicent raised an eyebrow. Used to be? Rhaenyra laughed again and said that Alicent was being silly, this one gentler, for thinking Alys would be a negative influence. 

Maybe it is not so bad that Helaena finally makes friends. As long as they’re not satanists. 

“They’re not,” Rhaenyra assured with a grin. 

Most of Haelaena’s childhood it was just Helaena and Aemond, playing with bugs in the garden until Aemond became more interested in reading than dirtying his Sunday-bests, though he still sits and listens to Helaena ramble about her latest acquired insect facts. 

But more than herself, Alys brings a whole barrage of misfits that now wave at Helaena from the street in their miss-matched clothes that Helaena calls lit, and Helaena waves back, pulling a face while nodding at Alicent. 

That’s alright. As long as her daughter is safe…and happy. She has a group of friends, a proper group! Alicent smiles. 

“Well?”

“Alys is fine. She’s really nice, you know.”

“That’s good. That’s great, sweetheart.”

An exasperated sigh falls from Helaena at the pet name, but Alicent won’t bring herself to call her daughter by name only. She stands firmly on that.

Alicent glances at where her phone peeks out of her bag, heartbeat quickening. She wants to reply, cannot believe it is finally happening. She hasn’t mentioned it to Helaena. Who knows if Rhaenyra will truly see her again? Nothing worse than her daughter thinking she would make something like that up about her idol when lying is sacrilege in their house. And perhaps if Alicent says nothing, it is not real, and if it’s not real, it can’t stop. 

Her phone pings again. The home screen flashes with black and red heart emojis and Alicent’s pulse almost jumps out of her chest. 

“Mom, why are you grinning like that?” Helaena sounds suspicious. 

“Just happy.”

Helaena squints at her as if that’d be even more suspicious. Joy sweeps through Alicent and she tries to reign it in, but cannot stop smiling. Her cheeks hurt. She could bolt out of the car and into the air and announce to the whole world that yes, yes she is happy. The first time in a long time.

Wind folds leaves over the street. The sky is a mesmerising blue, like Rhaenyra’s eyes, and Alicent shivers at the memory of looking at her in the flesh, wishing she could drive with her along these streets, the world more beautiful by being shared with Rhaenyra. She wants to talk like they’ve been talking on the phone and in messages and even FaceTime, her pulse skipping a beat every time Rhaenyra had reacted to Alicent’s messages with a heart or seeing her gummy grin during a short video call. Rhaenyra, she says in her head. Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra. Giddiness makes Alicent grab the steering wheel tighter. She’ll be back this evening! Breath catches in her throat. She wants to squeal out her happiness like a goddamn fool. 

Helaena climbs up the stairs while Alicent puts the car keys into their designated bowl and takes out her phone before shedding her coat or unhooking her bag from where it hangs off the crook of her elbow.

What time do you get back? Alicent types.

The message turns read in an instant. 

last flight! will probs crash in the car home already. 

Alicent bites her lip, tries not to pick at her cuticles. Heavy feeling in her gut. What did she expect? That Rhaenyra would want to see her immediately, after a tour and a six hour flight, that she would drive another hour from the city into town, or wait for Alicent to come to her? Of course not. Rhaenyra will be tired, must want her own space and own home and perhaps silence for a week.

Alicent is about to reply, when:

can i take u to brunch tmr?

Adrenaline shoots through Alicent so strongly that sweat beads at her brow. She cards her hair back. Starts typing. Retypes. God she sounds pathetic. Types again. 

I’d like that very much. 

She regrets the ‘very much’ instantly. Does she sound too eager? God, she does, doesn’t she?

It turns read. 

Alicent stars at the screen. The three dots do not appear. 

Rhaenyra is not writing. 

Alicent’s heart pounds in her chest. She stares. 

Nothing happens. 

A minute passes. Another. 

Her hands begin to sweat, the coat too warm in the heated house. 

She slaps the phone down.

The evening passes in rubber-thick minutes, drawing into torturous hours: dinner, washing up, getting ready for bed. She checks her phone a hundred times. Even Aegon notices, and exchanges a rare commiserating glance with Aemond. Helaena leaves quickest, Aegon dallies while Aemond helps her clear the table. 

In the kitchen, Aemond fixes her with a worried glance that makes her wince. He says nothing, busying himself with cleaning already clean countertops until she shoos him upstairs. 

She goes to bed with a knot in her stomach. She slips her headphones out and in the too big bed relistens to some of Rhaenyra’s voice messages. Has she ruined this? This…what is this? Heat crawls up her body at the thought of what they did in the back alley, how Rhaenyra’s fingers thrust inside her. She rubs her thighs together, turns onto her stomach and presses her face into the pillow. 

Kiss me, she thinks, dear god please kiss me.

Her phone pings.

Wide awake in an instant, she scrambles to scroll to the newest message. 

good. meet me here at 1pm baby? 

A google maps link follows, but Alicent can barely think. Baby. She called her baby. Warmth envelops her whole. The weight of the past hours falls from her as if it were never there at all. Instead, she feels lightheaded, limbs electric with anticipation.

She types:

I’ll be there. And after a heartbeat adds a green heart.

Rhaenyra sends back a red one. And the dragon emoji.

The morning is bright and surprisingly warm. Not a single cloud mars the azure sky and a balmy breeze rustles the falling leaves. An autumn day that tastes more like late summer. 

Alicent leaves her coat at home and dresses in her best pair of shoes, black Chanel sling pumps with a bow at the heel, white silk blouse with her favourite vintage Chanel skirt and blazer in pale green, matching purse. The whole drive into the city her hands tremble on the steering wheel. She stops twice to check her hair, her makeup, smooth down her skirt and blazer, checking her hair again. In her whole life she’s never been this nervous. 

The place is an old Victorian on a corner, desdemona roses climb and twine over black painted wood-frames, and umbrellas are out despite the season, shading cushioned seats and vintage tables. People bustle around, waiters and guests, soft jazz music drifting out from inside. 

And there, midst the patrons, sits Rhaenyra.

Alicent’s heart skips a beat.

Rhaenyra looks up, a wide gummy smile brightening her face. She waves at Alicent and Alicent suddenly feels like her legs might give out. She has to do her best not to slip on the cobblestone street in her heels. 

She sits down opposite Rhaenrya.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hi.” Rhaenyra sounds breathless. She’s slicked her hair back, but a few strands fall over her eyes. She’s wearing a loose leather suit, and chunky platform ankle-boots. 

And nothing underneath the blazer. 

Alicent cannot stop staring at the golden-tanned skin, revealed almost down to Rhaenrya’s navel, dark ink of a tattoo peeking out by her ribs and another at her collar bone, hidden under the leather and a heavy-steel necklace. 

Rhaenyra grins.

“Missed you,” Rhaenyra says.

“Fuck,” Alicent says and claps a hand over her mouth. 

For a second they both just gape at each other, before they descend into giggles.

“Yeah,” Rhaenyra says and swipes a hand through her hair.

“You…you look really good,” Alicent admits in a whisper and leans forward, bracing her elbows on the table, chin on the back of her folded hands.

Pink dusts over Rhaenyra’s cheeks. She mirrors Alicent’s motion. Rhaenrya’s sky-blue gaze seizes her, devouring her whole. 

“Says you. You’re a vision,” Rhaenyra’s voice lowers at the last word and a shiver runs down Alicent’s back. 

She can’t believe Rhaenyra is truly here. In the flesh. Looking so goddamn stunning. The most handsome person Alicent has ever met. But perhaps it’s too…too soon to say it. 

For a month they have texted and talked, sending pictures back and forth, voice messages sometimes late at night. Rhaenyra told her about the band, the cities they played in, favourite movies, Rhaenyra advocating for Silence of the Lambs, Jennifer’s Body and The Handmaiden, none of which Alicent knew—though let herself be talked into watching when Rhaenrya returned. Meanwhile Alicent send Rhaenyra her favourite Chopin pieces, and after long interrogation admitted to loving The Mummy, professing ashamedly that it was only because for once her children had been united and demanded to watch it almost every week when they had been little, and now she sometimes, secretly, puts it on to fall asleep to at night. The laughter she expected did not come. Instead, Rhaenyra gravely said it was A Classic for a reason. And that she always had a crush on Rachel Weisz.

Snap-shots of their coffees followed almost daily, of meals, a pretty sky, a book, outfits, and heart emojis until Alicent’s own very real heart almost sprung from her chest. 

They spoke of their families. Rhaenyra’s father died a year ago, and she told Alicent about how it still feels unreal to her. In turn, Alicent spoke of her fears for Aegon who drank and smoked too much and Helaena’s strange friends. Of feeling stuck at times. Rhaenyra said she needed to get out more. See the world and its wildness. That Rhaenyra would take her. Alicent blushed then as she blushes now. 

“Did you mean it?” Alicent looks at Rhaenyra, bites her lips.

Rhaenyra tilts her head and raises her eyebrows.

“When you said you’d help me…get out more.”

A cackle escapes Rhaenyra, who, surprised by her own sound, laughs louder. It’s such a sweet sound, all jumbled and a little rough, that Alicent can’t help but laugh too, her heart soaring as she looks into Rhaenyra’s eyes.

“Abso-bloody-lutely,” Rhaenyra says and leans closer. 

Alicent’s breath stutters. Her gaze drops to Rhaenyra’s mouth, the mischievous asymmetry of it—

“Might I take your order?”

Alicent flinches. They both turn to the waiter, a middle aged woman with a bob, who gives them a polite smile. 

“I’ll have an Americano,” Rhaenyra says, “black.”

“A Latte for me,” Alicent says, picking up the menu card, a heavy stationary paper with embossed letters, and scans the selection. “The–the pumpkin spice one.” God, could she be any more cliché? 

“Coming right away.” The waiter gives a little bow and disappears into the café.

Rhaenyra’s foot bumps against Alicent’s ankle under the table. Stays there.

“Can I try your Latte?” she asks conspiratorially. 

“Y-yeah. Sure.” For some reason, heat pushes into Alicent’s cheeks. Her gaze falls to Rhaenyra’s fingers that trace the embossing of the paper, fingers that have been inside Alicent. A shiver runs over her arms and a tingle spreads between her thighs. She can feel herself getting wet. She swallows. And slowly spreads her legs under the table. 

Rhaenyra’s eyebrows raise, lips parting, and her own leg pushes up Alicent’s calf, higher—

A hand falls onto Rhaenyra’s shoulder.

“Now that’s a surprise.” A strange voice.

Rhaenyra turns around at the sound. Alicent’s eyes snap up to the stranger. 

A man comes to stand behind Rhaenyra and for a heartbeat Alicent cannot compute how much he looks like Rhaenyra, just a good fifteen years older. The man is tall, muscular under a softer layer of flesh with an elegance to his long limbs, dressed in a sleek black suit and sunglasses. His hair is as blond as Rhaenyra’s, only a little shorter and combed back in the same manner. High cheekbones give him a haughty look, and his mouth pulls into an arrogant smile. His hand curls over Rhaenyra’s shoulder. Alicent wants to pry his fingers off at once. 

Rhaenyra’s face brightens, she gets up and the man takes off his sunglasses, hugs her close, arms wrapping around Rhaenyra tightly. He kisses her on the cheek and she returns the gesture.

“Daemon! What are you doing here?” 

He looks at Rhaenyra as if she is the only person in the world, not sparing Alicent a single glance. He cups Rhaenyra’s jaw, his thumb stroking at her cheek. Rhaenyra grins at him, placing her hand on his wrist.

Nausea turns Alicent’s stomach. She wants to snap his bones. She gets up, chair scraping behind her.

“Good day,” Alicent says.

Rhaenyra turns to her, her arm falling comfortably around Daemon’s waist.

“Alicent, this is my uncle Daemon. Uncle, this is Alicent,” she smiles proudly, “my date.”

Pulse beats quickly in Alicent’s chest.

Daemon looks down at Alicent and gives her a slow once-over that lasts entirely too long to be decent, then he cocks his eyebrow.

“Your date, hm?” The saccharine disdain pools in Alicent’s ear. 

Rhaenyra slaps his shoulder. With a twitch of his lips, Daemon offers his hand. Alicent takes it. They shake. The warmth of his hand makes her skin crawl.

“So pleased to meet you,” Daemon says as though having bitten into something sour.

“Likewise.” Alicent gives him her sweetest I-will-complain-about-you-via-email-and-ruin-your-life parent smile.

“Now, how long have you two been going out?”

Rhaenyra rolls her eyes.

“Stop interrogating her.”

“I’m merely curious.”

Rhaenyra raises her brows and Daemon holds up his palms in retreat.

“How long are you in town, uncle?”

“This week. Was going to call you.”

Rhaenyra looks at him with a long suffering fondness that makes Alicent’s mouth turn down.

“I’ll call you. Give Criston my love.”

“I’m not here to visit Criston.”

Rhaenyra laughs. “Sure.”

“He’s an unlikable cunt,” Daemon says mildly. 

To curse so easily and so publicly—Alicent grimaces. 

“Uh-huh. So are you.” Rhaenyra grins.

“I’m a very likeable cunt,” Daemon grins back.

Rhaenyra withdraws, eying Daemon critically.

“Debatable.”

Daemon laughs, somewhat effeminate, slapping a hand over his chest in mock-offence, eyes glinting with mischief.

“My favourite niece is so rude.”

Alicent still stands, clasping her hands behind her back, rubbing the palm that shook Daemon’s hand. The urge to disinfect her fingers is overwhelming. 

Rhaenyra turns, smiling at Alicent, before facing Daemon again.

“I’ll call you,” she says.

Daemon purses his lips, but his gaze softens when he looks at Rhaenyra.

“I might pick up,” he whispers.

“Fuck off,” Rhaenyra says, as mild as Daemon said cunt just a moment ago, then she bends and kisses his cheek. He returns the kiss, but catches the corner of her mouth. A strange feeling hits Alicent. Entwined like that, almost of equal height, their blond hair combed the same way, in their black suits, sharp-featured and bright-eyed. Mirror images. 

Away from Alicent. 

Rhaenyra pushes Daemon off playfully, and he gives a wave as he slides his sunglasses back on, and to Alicent a tight smile before he walks off.

Alicent sits. Something strings up her lungs. What an impudent man! 

Rhaenyra catches her hand.

“Hey.” 

The waiter returns with their drinks before Alicent can say something. The Latte steams in front of her, the scent of candied pumpkin sweetening the air. She takes a sip, burns her tongue.

“Sorry ‘bout that. My uncle’s famously rude.” 

Rough fingers stroke over the back of Alicent’s hand.

“You seem close,” she says.

Rhaenyra snorts. Her thumb slips under Alicent’s sleeve, feeling at the inside of her wrist. The touch almost makes Alicent forget about that man.

“Used to be close,” Rhaenyra says. ”When I was younger. But he’s always coming and going. And now with the band…see him maybe once a year. Had a huge crush on him though when I was a teen.” Rhaenyra laughs. 

Sickness roils in Alicent’s belly. Good god. Is she jealous of Rhaenyra’s uncle? She needs to slap herself out of this.

Rhaenyra presses against her radial artery. Can she feel how quick Alicent’s pulse beats? 

With a sigh Rhaenyra leans back, hand slipping off.

“I wanted to be him,” Rhaenyra says with a fond smile. “Still do, sometimes.”

“What…what do you mean?”

Rhaenyra takes a sip of her Americano, hums at the taste, pleased. Her eyes meet Alicent’s and she smiles, so open and excited that Alicent forgets all around them for a heartbeat.

“Don’t really feel like a girl!” 

Of course. Rhaenyra said something similar after Alicent confessed she thought Rhaenyra was a man when they first met. 

Now Rhaenyra grins, leaning forward, sipping Alicent’s Latte, licking foam off her lips while looking her in the eye. 

Alicent leans towards her. Closer. Closer. Rhaenyra’s breath on her. The next second they are kissing. Heat shoots through Alicent toe to the crown of her head, she opens her mouth for Rhaenyra’s tongue, tasting pumpkin and something that’s just Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra’s big hand pulls her in by the neck. It takes all she has for Alicent not to moan. 

They break the kiss. Quick breath, quicker pulse.

“Can you… can you…explain that to me?” Alicent feels like she might forget her own name if asked right about now. She never felt comfortable kissing people in public, but kissing Rhaenyra makes her see stars. Makes her want to do it again.

“Yeah,” Rhaenyra says and smiles and there is such unbridled joy in her gaze that Alicent grabs her hand over the table with a courage she did not know she has.

“I guess I feel more like a guy, or: something like a guy,” Rhaenyra says. “It’s how I’ve always felt inside. And how I try to express myself. Also makes me happy when people perceive me as a man. Don’t really care about pronouns, though some people do and I can elaborate if you like.”

“I would—I would like that.” 

For a good half hour Rhaenyra tells her about gender theory, not exactly something Alicent had any idea of. Only a few times she saw what her father spat out “transsexuals” on the telly as victims in crime dramas, usually played by men in bad makeup. She never knew there were so many people who felt different about their gender, or the ways people changed or played with it. That it was even…allowed. What a completely new world! And what…what a wonder. She bites the inside of her cheek. 

“Have I, have I said something rude in our chats?” she asks.

Rhaenyra perks up. “No. I’d have told you.”

“Is there…is there stuff that you prefer? I mean. With the gender.”

Rhaenyra cackles. Her fingers entwine with Alicent’s. 

“I am not immune to being called handsome. Or boy or sir.”

“You are really handsome,” Alicent says before thinking, “Super handsome.” She blushes.

“Say it again,” Rhaenyra purrs, voice deep.

A shiver runs down Alicent’s spine. She slides the toes of her pump along Rhaenyra’s ankle. Rhaenyra’s eyes darken.

“You’re so handsome,” Alicent whispers, pulling Rhaenyra’s hand to the side and under the table. Onto her thigh. 

Rhaenyra’s hand splays on her leg, strong hand grabbing her firmly, Alicent thinks she might melt into the seat right there. What is she doing here with Rhaenyra? People might see!

Rhaenyra’s fingers slip under the hem of her skirt.

“I want you,” Rhaenyra murmurs. 

Alicent spreads her legs enough for Rhaenyra to drag her hand closer, though not by much with the small table between them.

“I want you too,” Alicent admits, breathless.

At one go, Rhaenyra scrapes her chair around the table towards her until they sit next to each other. A second later, Rhaenyra’s lips press against Alicent’s cheek and slide to her ear.

“I want to take you into the bathroom and fuck you,” Rhaenyra whispers hoarsely. Her hand pushes further under Alicent’s skirt until her fingers slide against her thin lace underwear. 

“Oh god,” Alicent gasps, grabbing Rhaenyra’s wrist, not certain if to pull her off or closer. 

Next to them, a corpulent old man clears his throat.

The café rushes back into Alicent’s awareness. The full tables, the bustling waiters.  How did she just block them out so completely? Did anyone see? She glances around, but nobody seems any the wiser. 

Rhaenyra kisses her cheek and withdraws her hand with an impish smile. 

“Sorry,” Rhaenyra murmurs, “you just make me so… hungry.”

“Stop,” Alicent says, pulse pounding in her skull, but pulling Rhaenyra’s leg between her ankles. The leather is pleasantly cool against her heated skin. Quickly, she sips her now luke-warm Latte.

“Been thinking about you every day,” Rhaenyra says.

“Me too.”

Wind dances the fallen leaves over the cobblestone and the desdemona roses sway in the warm breeze, scent of their petals of almond and lemon fragrant in the air. The sun shines on them directly and is warm enough to make Alicent open her blazer and fluff her white silk blouse underneath. It does not help that she can see a sweat-drop slip down Rhaenyra’s neck to her sternum, lower, down her pecs to her navel. The leather must be hot. 

“Eyes up here,” Rhaenyra smirks, not just a little smug.

Alicent finishes her Latte with long swallows while Rhaenyra watches.

“What are your plans for the rest of the day?” Rhaenyra says, sipping the last of her coffee.

Alicent smiles.

“Didn’t make any.” 

Rhaenyra pays with a handful of crumpled bills, gets up and when Alicent stands too, Rhaenyra takes her hand. Adrenaline shoots through Alicent throb by throb. In the chunky platforms Rhaenyra is so much taller than her despite her own sensible heel, and she cannot but look up at her. Like a god, Rhaenyra gleams in the autumnal sun. And here she holds her hand. Alicent squeezes and watches a blush spread over Rhaenyra’s cheeks. 

“Come on,” Rhaenyra says and leads her into the city.

They wander the streets for hours, chatting, laughing, Rhaenyra excitedly pointing at things to show Alicent, taking pictures with her phone, they fall into little bookstores, smelling the pages, and Alicent buys Rhaenyra a pocket-sized edition of her favourite Ingeborg Bachmann poems. Rhaenyra flips through the book, brows knit in concentration, looks up and says, “I love this…so immediate? And beautiful,” while she looks at Alicent and Alicent feels her heart beat faster. It’s been so long since she has shared poetry with anyone other than Aemond, who it’s hard to tell if he likes the poems or if he pretends in order to please her. Perhaps he himself doesn’t know. Though sometimes she does find books from her bookshelf in his rooms, pages carefully marked with sticky tabs, notes in the margins in soft neat pencil.

Rhaenyra pockets the book before she pushes Alicent against one of the bookshelves and kisses her. Later, she picks out a small volume of Anne Carson’s Autobiography of Red. 

“One of my favourites,” Rhaenyra murmurs. 

“Strange title,” Alicent says with interest.

“Stranger book,” Rhaenyra grins.

They walk back into the dimming city, warm orange street lights igniting in the dusky twilight. The world turns into something new. 

All the while, Alicent cannot believe she is here…with Rhaenyra. Her daughter’s favourite singer. A person so different from anyone Alicent’s ever met or anyone her father would have ever allowed her to be friends with.

 They kiss in a small alley. The dark holds them and their thighs entwine, pushing, pushing, Rhaenyra’s hot tongue in her mouth, her hand under Alicent’s blouse. 

A group of old men walk past the alley. Alicent stills against Rhaenyra, and Rhaenyra pants against her mouth.

“Maybe not the place,” Rhaenyra says.

Alicent giggles.

“Maybe not.”

They grin at each other in the twilight and step back into the illuminated street.

A breeze has picked up, but it is not yet cold, only cool enough for Alicent to tug herself closer to Rhaenyra’s side when Rhaenyra lays an arm around her shoulder. Is this really happening? After all the texting they roam the city together like…like a…

“Do you wanna go out?” Rhaenyra asks.

“To where?”

“Cute place called Pink Pony. Doors open in two hours, we could get dinner before?”

Alicent calls Aemond while Rhaenyra leans nonchalantly against the wall beside her, lighting a cigarette, and Alicent cannot but graze her free hand against Rhaenyra’s. Does anyone recognise her without all the white makeup she wears on stage? Or is this simply the big city life where no-one cares about musicians? 

“Mother?” Aemond answers on the first ring.

“Hey my darling. Would you be alright if I come back late tonight…” she glances at Rhaenyra who slowly blows out smoke, “or stay out overnight?” Her voice almost cracks.

Silence on the other end.

“Aemond?”

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes, I’m out with…with a friend.”

Rhaenyra raises her brows at that, turning to Alicent fully and caging her in against the wall, mute and dangerous with her smoke-filled mouth. So close Alicent shivers.

“Okay.” Aemond sounds as suspicious as Helaena did in the morning. “Aegon is out anyway. And Helaena is skyping with Alys…probably for another four hours.” 

God, of course Aegon is out. Will she ever not have to worry about him? And of course Helaena is talking to her again. Is there a hint of annoyance in Aemond’s voice at that? 

“Will you text me when Aegon returns?” Alicent asks.

Aemond hums in agreement. 

“I love you,” Alicent says and hears Aemond’s sharp inhale on the other end of the line. He repeats it back to her, voice a little unsteady. Warmth pools in her belly. So often Aemond has become colder in his manners, perhaps because his peers have been giving him a hard time despite Alicent having gone to the teachers on multiple occasions. And Aegon on top of that, except in some rare moments when she catches the boys late at night at the PlayStation, shoulder against warm shoulder. It’s good to know that Aemond at least is not yet ashamed to say these words. 

“I love you,” she presses again and can hear Aemond make a soft noise. “Don’t go to bed too late, darling.”

“Alright…mom.”

She smiles and makes a kissing noise into the phone, wishes she could hug him close like she used to when he was little and kiss the crown of his head and his cheeks. 

“You’re embarrassing,” Aemond stammers and she knows he’s blushing on the other end. Then he mumbles another, “I love you,” and hangs up.

Rhaenyra smiles at her brightly. 

“You must love them a lot,” she says.

“They’re my life,” Alicent says.

Rhaenyra takes her hand. 

“Hopefully not all of your life,” Rhaenyra says and winks.

A breeze lifts her curls and she holds tighter to Rhaenyra who pulls her along the sidewalk. 

Are her children all her life? It is something she prides herself on, she realises. But perhaps it is…alright to have part of it for herself. To live for…herself.

She seizes Rhaenyra close and pushes her against a streetlight. Amused laughter fills the air. A glint ignites in Rhaenyra’s eyes. It makes Alicent feel bold, daring even—She kisses Rhaenyra and presses against her. Hands glide into Alicent’s hair, pulling her closer. A warm mouth opens under her kiss. Alicent pushes her tongue into Rhaenyra’s mouth, so hot and waiting and Rhaenyra slides her tongue against Alicent’s tongue. Heat electrifies Alicent’s body. Rhaenyra breaks the kiss, bites at her neck, breathes her in. Goosebumps crawl over Alicent’s arm and her legs buckle enough for Rhaenyra to turn them around, now pushing Alicent against the streetlight.

Alicent yields to her, thighs opening to accommodate Rhaenyra between them. 

“You smell so good,” Rhaenyra whispers. 

Alicent grazes Rhaenyra’s neck in turn, inhales, and more clearly discerns what she’s smelled all day: strong leather, oud and within it the citrus-freshness of bergamot. It makes her weak in the knees. She kisses Rhaenyra’s neck before she drags her lips over her jaw back to her mouth. 

“I want to eat you out so badly,” Rhaenyra murmurs into their kiss. “Would do it right here, for all to see.”

A moan catches in Alicent’s throat. Golden lamp light throws long shadows under Rhaenyra’s eye sockets and nose, she looks infernal like that, a devil Alicent cannot resist. And doesn’t want to. She curses softly, feels her skirt ride up as she spreads her legs wider. 

Few people walk the streets, but enough to make it utterly indecent, all the more so with the street light caging them in its shine. 

Rhaenyra’s hand slips under her skirt, and Rhaenyra inhales roughly when she draws her fingertips over Alicent’s already soaked-through thin lace underwear. The touch shoots hot tendrils of arousal through Alicent. 

“Fuck,” Rhaenyra growls against Alicent’s mouth. The sound is so harsh it’s desperate and scorches all thoughts from Alicent’s brain. She clutches Rhaenyra closer, pressing her chest against Rhaenyra. She’s never wanted this much before. Never touched a man and felt what she felt in that back alley after the concert, what she feels now with every fibre—has never felt her body like this. It leaves her feverish. The universe has finally ignited and strewn the sky with burning stars. 

Rhaenyra’s hand moves between her thighs, on her cunt, pressure so good Alicent can almost come from it. 

“Not here,” she gasps, “I want you properly please. Please Rhaenyra.”

Rhaenyra grabs her thigh with wet fingers. Her pupils are blown black and Alicent has to kiss her again. 

“Dinner?” Rhaenyra asks, voice husky.

“Yeah,” Alicent stutters. “Fuck I…I almost came…” Shame heats her cheeks, but she cannot stop the grin that stretches her lips.

Rhaenyra laughs quietly, glint in her eyes, smirking back. “Good. Gonna make you come so hard later. Promise.” 

 Alicent licks her lips and strokes a finger down Rhaenyra’s cheekbone.

“Oh yeah?”

Rhaenyra nods, enthusiastic, hair falling into her forehead, entirely too sweet for what they are discussing.

Alicent slips her fingertips under Rhaenyra’s blazer, keeps her eyes on Rhaenyra as she brushes them over Rhaenyra’s pecs to her nipple. A gasp between them. Rhaenyra bites her lower lip. Touch like an electric current, Alicent grazes over Rhaenyra’s nipple again. Can’t believe she is allowed to do this. With a shove Rhaenyra has her harder against the streetlight, eyes searching Alicent’s. Incredible how receptive Rhaenyra is to such a small caress. It makes Alicent feel faint. Rhaenyra kisses her again, lips dragging over Alicent’s, tongue pressing into her willing mouth. A moan escapes Alicent and she rubs slowly over Rhaenyra’s nipple, wrapping her free arm around Rhaenyra’s waist.

“You have to stop,” Rhaenyra says, voice rough, “or I will fuck you right here.”

 The pulse between Alicent’s legs is almost unbearable, almost she gives in. Warmth pushes into her cheeks and she knows she must be blushing, showing too clearly how much she wants it. How shameful it would be to expose herself like that, how indecent, and yet she cannot stop the wetness between her thighs.

“Okay,” Alicent says shakily. For a hazy moment she is uncertain if it’s to agree or move along. Rhaenyra’s hands tighten at her hips. “Okay let’s go. Get dinner.”

The breeze cools their hot skins as they walk quick-stepped along the pavement, hand in hand. A shy glance, a press of fingers against fingers, Rhaenyra smiles at her and Alicent’s heart beats faster. Has she ever had an evening like this? Before her husband, she only dated one guy and that more out of obligation than anything else, she realises. Before Rhaenyra she didn’t understand that feeling all people seemed to be obsessed with, that all the cheesy movies were about. Or the love songs. She always found them entirely meaningless, repetitive and uncomfortable. 

Until Rhaenyra.

A blush creeps over her cheeks and she snuggles against Rhaenyra’s side who lets go of her hand to wrap an arm around Alicent’s shoulder. In turn, Alicent slips her arm around Rhaenyra’s waist. God, she is so tall in those damn shoes and looks so handsome, hair tousled from their kissing, leather suit sleek and revealing but cut with straight hard lines, squaring Rhaenyra’s muscular and lean shape even more. Is this a dream? Is she really out and about with this…this rockstar who also is such a sweet person? 

Rhaenyra glances down at her, pulling her closer, kissing her temple. Warmth seeps through Alicent in a way she has never felt before. 

“Tell me more about your…your music,” Alicent says. She’s been meaning to ask but did not quite have the courage, she knows so little about modern music, it’s embarrassing as both Aegon and Helaena insist on telling her time and again. 

Rhaenyra kisses her temple.

“Do you really wanna know?” Rhaenyra’s voice is nonchalant, but beneath it, a certain shyness. 

Alicent would have never imagined, not with how she saw Rhaenyra on stage, unearthly, violent in her rawness. 

“Of course,” Alicent says.

“Well. I’ve always felt…somewhat other. My mother died when I was fourteen. I was very angry. Lost. But not just because of that. Didn’t fit in. The other people in school couldn’t relate to…to what I was going through. Not the death of my mom, nor how I… presented myself. So I turned to music. Could scream all my grief into the world and the the thing is…echoes came back. All the time I thought I was alone in my…well, pain, but there were so many who could relate. And in music grief can become both expression and creation. It’s my therapy. It’s my greatest passion. I feel most myself when I’m on stage.”

A strange awe twists Alicent’s stomach. Rhaenyra is so…open. So free in how she speaks. 

“Thank…thank you for telling me that.”

“What’s your greatest passion?” Rhaenyra smiles.

Alicent looks at her.

“I don’t know,” she says quietly. “I got pregnant at eighteen. I…I didn’t have time for passion.” She pauses, then, “But…I used to really like history.”

Rhaenyra squeezes her close.

“Why don’t you pick it back up? You said you live off of your husband’s inheritance. Why not go to uni?”

For a moment, Alicent can’t speak. Her life is so full of her children and though they require less and less of her and want their own space and time, she has never considered being anything more than…a mother. What would such a life be like?

She stills. Looks at Rhaenyra. 

Rhaenyra turns to her, raising her eyebrows in challenge and strokes over one of Alicent’s curls, twisting it around her fingers. The breeze whispers around them. Alicent steps closer, staring into Rhaenyra’s eyes as though the blue might swallow her whole. Perhaps it does.

“I could…” Alicent says. “I actually could.”

“Yeah,” Rhaenyra smiles.

All of a sudden life seems young again.

They find a little Vietnamese place to get dinner, sit crowded by the window, legs entangled under the table, both struggling with the chopsticks, but neither of them giving up. They share a plate of wontons, and afterwards get big bowls of steaming phở. An instrumental of a cheesy pop song plays on the radio and for some reason it makes Alicent all soft inside, giddy with how close Rhaenyra is, how Rhaenyra keeps touching her, looking at her, stealing some of her beef but slow enough that Alicent might reclaim it. She doesn’t. Instead watches with warming pleasure as Rhaenyra chews enthusiastically. She could get used to this. How would Aegon and Aemond react if she brought Rhaenyra over for dinner? Helaena of course would be speechless. Alicent blushes and grins and steals a piece of beef in turn.

Time melts between them. They sip on tea and order banana cake for dessert, a sweet and sticky indulgence that Alicent would not treat herself to on her own. Rhaenyra wolfs her portions down but leaves her last piece for Alicent. 

They talk about all and nothing. The restaurant starts emptying out until they are the last guests and one of the waiters starts mopping the floor. 

“Oh shit,” Rhaenyra says impishly. “I think we’ve overstayed our welcome.”

Alicent gets the bill while Rhaenyra is off to the bathroom, and though Rhaenyra complains about it afterwards, she is also grinning and takes Alicent’s hand, pulls it to her lips and blows a kiss against the back of her hand.

“Such a gentleman,” Alicent says before thinking.

Rhaenyra beams at her.

The Pink Pony is tucked into a little side street, club name mounted in big chunky letters over blacked-out windows. Glitter strews over the street in front of the club. A handful of people stand in front smoking and chatting and many wear colourful clothes, some in all-leather like Rhaenyra, and there a person in a short red dress with high heels and a beard, women with shorn hair, others in makeup so big, Alicent can't guess their gender at all. 

Next to her, Rhaenyra relaxes and waves at the bouncer. A big burly guy with long brown curls and beard, pink glitter on his eyelids up to his bushy brows. 

“Hey babe,” the man calls and Rhaenyra falls into a tight hug. 

How well do they know each other? Are they—

The man releases Rhaenyra, pats her shoulder with a grin and nods at Alicent.

“And who’s this gorgeous woman in vintage Chanel?”

Alicent blushes. There’s something so feminine in the way he says it despite his deep voice and bulky appearance that puts Alicent at ease in a way she has rarely felt with men.

“‘Win, this is Alicent: my date. Alicent, this is ‘Win, a good friend of mine.”

Alicent offers her hand. ‘Win laughs at that, leans forward and kisses Alicent on both cheeks instead. 

“Welcome, gorge. Have fun!”

They move past him without having to pay. Rhaenyra winks at Alicent and slides an arm around her waist.

Inside, music booms and the air smells of stage fog, perfumes mixing together, sweet and smoky but not unpleasant. Rhaenyra moves like she belongs here, a spectre, tall and dangerous in her easy confidence, cast in deep red light that jitters through the dark. Alicent gazes up at her, enveloped in the warmth of the club as the beat batters in her bones. Rhaenyra leans down to her and kisses her on the mouth like it’s the easiest thing in the world. 

Sequins flare up when the lights hit them like stars, leather and so much skin, strange haircuts and colours, a little like the teenagers who went to Rhaenyra’s concert, except these people here are adults, and some of the most extravagant have wrinkles and deep lines in their faces. Alicent didn’t know that…that it’s not only teens who look like that. That all ages are…allowed this. 

Rhaenyra goes to get them drinks.

Alicent fidgets with her sleeve to not pick at her nails. Should she take her jacket off? It’s warm, but Alicent does not see a coat check. Should she go look again? She clutches her purse that still holds the small Autobiography of Red paperback that Rhaenyra bought her. She is tempted to take it out and flip through the pages. But that would be awkward, wouldn’t it? 

Movement catches her eye. By the bar, two men, both big and hairy and barely dressed, are kissing. Alicent looks around. No-one bats an eye. A gentleness spreads in Alicent she did not know she perhaps missed all her life. Awe fills her. Joy. Suddenly, tears prick at her lashes. 

Rhaenyra returns with two glasses, sees her looking and smiles. 

“Like it?”

Alicent takes the glass Rhaenyra offers.

“Yeah…” She doubts her voice is loud enough over the beat, but Rhaenyra seems to understand anyway.

A vibration in her purse takes her from her thoughts. She slips out her phone. Aemond has messaged her to say that Aegon is back home. She quickly types a reply before putting her phone away again. Rhaenyra sips on her drink and Alicent tries her own—negroni with prosecco. The bitterness refreshes her instantly, making her think of hot Italian summer nights. She went to Florence years ago and now she imagines walking the crowded streets with Rhaenyra, marvelling at the buildings and beauty at every corner, the river, the umbrella pines silhouetting on the blue hills that enfold the city, the warm light and how it would gleam on Rhaenyra’s golden skin. She feels woozy with it, a dream that blooms too quickly inside her chest. 

“Have you—have you ever been to Florence?” 

“No, played in Italy ‘couple of times, but never had time to see the sights.”

“Wanna go?” Alicent asks before she can reign herself in.

A wide grin spreads across Rhaenyra's face.

“Yes.”

“Okay.” Alicent feels feverish, takes a big gulp of her drink. The alcohol warms her, spreading through her swiftly despite their big dinner. Could Rhaenyra mean it? Would she actually—? 

“Come on.” Rhaenyra takes her hand. “Let’s dance.”

A new song comes on, 80s beat and a catchy melody and the next moment Alicent and Rhaenyra are on the dancefloor. Something in Alicent opens. She raises her arms, feels the bass boom through her and simply lets go. 

More people push onto the dancefloor until Rhaenyra is barely a hand’s length away from Alicent, crowded in from all sides, everyone moving to the same rhythm, bodies together like drops of water in a thundering river, and Alicent thinks of the dark woods in which she spent so many hours of her childhood, wonders if there too centuries ago, humans were dancing dancing dancing to a drum beat. With a rush she feels part of a long line stretching back six million years into the human past. Dancing from the beginning. In a haze she smiles at Rhaenyra. Incredible that humanity has always done this, always loved, danced—Rhaenyra smiles back—connected.

Alicent swans her arms around Rhaenyra’s neck, careful not to spill her drink down her back, and Rhaenyra steps closer, hand on Alicent’s hips. It feels so good. Around them people cheer, sing along to the music. To their left, two girls kiss, one with a shorn head, the other with turquoise hair in a choppy cut. There’s such ease with which they touch, both grinning ear to ear when they part, the crowd moves again, and Alicent can’t stop her hand from wandering down Rhaenyra’s shoulder, under her suit jacket. Sweaty warm skin, hard muscle, Rhaenyra presses closer, eyes lidded low and dangerous, and Alicent bites her own lip. 

Rhaenyra pushes them sideways to a little table, gulps down her drink and discards the glass on it. Alicent copies it. 

Now, Rhaenyra slides her hands up Alicent’s side to the collar of her blouse and slowly starts unbuttoning it. The white silk parts under Rhaenyra’s hands. She does not stop. Breath hitches in Alicent’s throat. She allows it. Rhaenyra reveals her to the world until she reaches the skirt, blouse still tucked in but fully unbuttoned. Alicent’s wearing a thin white lace bra and Rhaenyra’s strong square hands gently run up her ribs to cup Alicent’s breasts. 

The music fades from Alicent. The world narrows to Rhaenyra’s blazing blue gaze, her fingers, her handsome face, the thigh that presses between Alicent’s as they sway. She could faint into the heat of her now. Closer, closer, Rhaenyra’s hot mouth grazes Alicent’s and she pulls Rhaenyra in by the neck, a hand sliding through Rhaenyra’s hair. They kiss, tongues dragging over each other, lips closing to suck on tongue and lips, Rhaenyra bites down on Alicent’s lower lip. A moan threads between them and Alicent cants her hips to ride Rhaenyra’s thigh. The pressure against her feels good, but it’s not enough. Rhaenyra’s hands all over her, thoughts melting together, the memory of Rhaenyra’s fingers inside her, and Alicent can feel herself getting wet again, so easily, she’d feel ashamed if she wasn’t so turned on. 

Rhaenyra’s hot breath by her ear.

“I want to fuck you.”

Alicent presses herself closer still. She can barely think. She moans her name, takes one of Rhaenyra’s hands and shoves it between her legs.

A curse falls from Rhaenyra’s mouth. 

Then Rhaenyra grabs her wrist and pulls. 

Before Alicent knows what’s happening they are pushing through the crowd to the bathroom. 

The bathroom door closes behind them. Graffiti lines the walls, but it is surprisingly clean, smelling of patchouli and vetiver air freshener. 

Rhaenyra locks the door, not bothering with one of the stalls. Instead she crowds Alicent against the low washbasin countertop, and lifts her up on it so easily Alicent’s head spins. 

“God, you’re strong—” 

Rhaenyra smirks, baring her teeth. 

Blood thunders through Alicent’s veins, so loud it mutes her own thoughts. 

Rhaenyra presses between her thighs, leans over and turns on the faucet. Water rushes out. Rhaenyra soaps her hands, takes Alicent’s and soaps them up too, rinses them off, fingers sliding between Alicent’s. A giggle escapes Alicent and she lifts a leg around Rhaenyra’s hips. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Rhaenyra says. The next second she is on her knees, kissing her way up Alicent’s calf, her knee, her inner thigh while Rhaenyra’s hands grab her legs, slowly pulling them apart. 

It’s hard to breathe. Hard to swallow. 

Rhaenyra’s mouth drags against where Alicent’s skirt rides up her skin, she stills, looking up at Alicent. 

Alicent gives a shaky nod.

With a jolt, Rhaenyra pulls her forward, pushing Alicent’s skirt up and presses her lips over the lace of Alicent’s underwear— To finally feel Rhaenyra’s mouth is almost unbearable. Alicent whimpers. She spreads her thighs wider, hooking a leg over Rhaenyra’s shoulder.

“Yeah,” Rhaenyra says dazedly and licks a stripe over her. The feeling of Rhaenyra’s tongue through the thin lace fevers Alicent with blinding red. She needs more, so much m— Rhaenyra’s fingers slip the fabric to the side. 

“Oh god,” Alicent gasps.

Rhaenyra’s hot, hungry mouth is on her. Sparks ignite Alicent’s body, bones and all, she keens and cants her hips forward. Rhaenyra makes a noise against her, licks over her, kisses her and begins rubbing her tongue hard over Alicent’s clit. Pleasure sears through her, stealing her breath away. She grabs the edge of the countertop, knuckles whitening. Rhaenyra sucks her clit before she sinks to push her tongue inside Alicent. Curses fall from Alicent, she can feel her eyes roll back in her skull. Rhaenyra’s hands all over her thighs, her hips, reaching up to grab her breasts. 

Alicent seizes Rhaenyra’s hair, grabs and pulls, and quivers under her mouth. Bliss rushes through her like an addiction, she thinks she cannot live without Rhaenyra’s mouth on her cunt ever again. A loud moan escapes her, she can’t believe she’s letting this happen in a club bathroom, but something about the almost public nature sends a thrill through her. She’s never been this obscene in her life before Rhaenyra—has never wanted to be. 

Rhaenyra starts thrusting her tongue in and out, while her fingers rub circles over Alicent’s clit, and Alicent moans, head thrown back and meets Rhaenyra’s movements with quick jabs of her hips. Rhaenyra allows it, lets her ride her mouth while pressing closer, licking her harder, just to retreat, iron-grip on Alicent’s hips holding her still. 

Alicent looks down at Rhaenyra who is grinning, wet lips, piercing blue gaze, infernal, addicting, more beautiful than anything Alicent has seen in her life. 

With measure, Rhaenyra starts stroking her clit, and lower until her fingertips catch the rim of her hole, dip inside then out until Alicent cannot bear it anymore.

“Please Rhaenyra,” her voice is barely audible.

“Please what?” Rhaenyra’s stare allows no withholding.

“Please finger me…” Alicent gasps, sudden tears stinging at her eyes from the intensity of her own want .

Rhaenyra shushes her gently, lasciviously, two fingers sinking into Alicent’s cunt with slick ease. Her thumb draws circles over Alicent’s swollen hard clit. The feeling is so good, Alicent can barely think. There’s only heat, the friction of Rhaenyra’s strong fingers, electric and vital and she needs more of it, more, more—

She moans it. 

 Fever glints in Rhaenyra’s eyes. She adds a third finger, stretching them inside Alicent, drawing sharp breaths from her with each movement. 

Rhaenyra adds a fourth. 

Delirious with desire, Alicent imagines a fifth. She’s never been this full. Has never felt this fucking good. She wants it, wants all, wants to be splayed out on a bed and have Rhaenyra fuck her cunt until she screams. All these years she thought something must be wrong with her, that no matter what her husband did, it left her frigid and outside of her skin. She wasn’t wrong. It just wasn’t right. 

Rhaenyra thrusts her fingers in and out, and a whimper threads from Rhaenyra’s mouth as she watches Alicent take her, and Alicent quivers and opens her legs wider still, mumbled pleas falling from her lips until Rhaenyra presses her hot wicked mouth over her clit, so wet and perfect and it’s Rhaenyra eating her out, tonguing her everywhere before returning to her clit, finding a quick hard rhythm to work her. The world blackens into fire, sweat, the roughened sounds Rhaenyra makes against her, her fingers fucking her open with vulgar squelching, her other hand grabbing Alicent so fiercely, it will bruise in her shape. To be marked by her like that—half-eaten, half-aching, so fucking full of her—

“Rhaenyra, I’m—” 

A sob wrenches from Alicent’s throat and her muscles tighten as ecstasy seizes her and she is coming so hard that all around her burns in brutal radiance, a shock of pleasure that rips a groan from her mouth and a higher pitch of moan follows, long and fully out of her control. 

Hard breaths open her chest. Sweat-damp strands of her veil her eyes as she slowly comes back to herself. Her arms tremble from pressing against the countertop, her legs lay heavy on Rhaenyra’s shoulders. And there— Rhaenyra stares up at her with a smeared mouth and dazed gaze, lips parted as if she can’t believe what just happened. 

Heat rushes into Alicent’s cheeks. She wipes hair from her brow, legs uncertain where to move. Rhaenyra rises. Crowds close between Alicent’s legs, her breath is heavy, too, and then they are kissing and Alicent can taste herself on Rhaenyra’s mouth. It’s strange and should perhaps disgust her, but it doesn’t. 

“That was so fucking hot,” Rhaenyra rasps and slowly bites Alicent’s lower lip. Alicent pulls her closer, arms around her neck and Rhaenyra’s left wraps around Alicent’s waist. 

“Th-thank you,” Alicent stutters, voice a mess, kisses Rhaenyra’s cheek. She smooths Rhaenyra’s hair back before she fists her hands into the collar of her leather suit jacket.

“I want to…” Alicent begins, barely conscious, fingers slipping under Rhaenyra’s collar.

Rhaenyra grins, gently encircles Alicent’s wrists with her fingers.

“Later?” Rhaenyra says with a swell of what might be hope. “Come with me to my place?”

Alicent cannot stop staring into Rhaenyra’s eyes. A shiver runs down her spine.

“Yeah,” she says without thinking. 

“Good.” Rhaenyra grins. Kisses her again, long and slow and Alicent cannot help but slide her hand to Rhaenyra’s trousers, between her legs. Rhaenyra moans.

A knock rattles the bathroom door. 

They both jerk aside, giggle. Rhaenyra’s wide grin sparks butterflies in Alicent’s belly.

“I guess we should—we should—”

“Yeah.”

Rhaenyra helps her slide down the counter, Alicent adjusts her bag on her shoulder, and on unsteady feet follows Rhaenyra to the door. Rhaenyra unlocks it and presses past the aghast intruder before the person can say a thing, dragging Alicent behind her. 

The person yells something after them, but they are already back in the crowd, Rhaenyra still with Alicent’s slickness smeared on her chin and fingers. The thought shoots sparks up Alicent’s ribcage. 

With a jolt, she pushes Rhaenyra against a column. And Rhaenyra allows it. She raises their joint hands and carefully licks her own wetness from Rhaenyra’s fingers. 

“You’re incredible,” Rhaenyra gasps, pulling her in, offering her mouth and chin for the same treatment. Alicent gives it. Licks and kisses her clean before kissing Rhaenyra, harder than she’s kissed anyone before, hand shifting between Rhaenyra’s legs again. By god, she wants to feel her. Is she wet in these leather trousers? Clumsily, she shoves her hand into Rhaenyra’s trousers. A moan bashes against her, Rhaenyra’s wide eyes and parted lips, and Alicent feels the hot hard flesh, and further: Rhaenyra’s slickness. 

“Oh god,” Alicent gasps, sweat breaking from her brow, under her arms, the heat of the room and the thrum of the base extinguished by how fucking wet Rhaenyra got from fingering and eating her out. Alicent feels drunk, drunker than the one negroni should leave her. She kisses Rhaenyra with an unsteadiness she has not known before. 

“Yeah,” Rhaenyra says, rough, deep, “You make me so fucking—” 

Alicent swallows her next words, kisses her, sucks on her tongue until Rhaenyra grinds her hips against Alicent’s hand while her arm wraps so tightly around Alicent’s waist, that they press together chest to knees, hands on each other. 

“Please—take me to your place—” 

Rhaenyra kisses her. 

“Are you sure?” All Rhaenyra’s devilishness melts into this soft question. They look at each other, eyes searching, and Alicent swallows. 

“Yes,” she says. 

They’re in an uber five minutes later, knees knocking together, Rhaenyra’s arm around her. They said good-bye to ‘Win who had his arm around a tall blonde, and kissed them both on the cheek. Alicent buttoned up her blouse as they waited for the uber while Rhaenyra kept undoing the buttons until Alicent slapped her hand away laughing. 

Now, they’re flying through the dark city, the warm street lights blurring into orange undulations. Suddenly the radio starts playing one of SYRAX’s songs, the one Helaena loves best and has been blasting on repeat since the concert. The guitars shred under the rhythmic howling of Rhaenyra’s voice. Alicent grins. Rhaenyra smiles back bashfully but not without pride.

The driver, an old man with expressive dark eyes, lowers the volume. Rhaenyra cackles.

“Oh, could you turn that up again, please?” Alicent bats her lashes at the driver through the rear-view mirror.

“You like the screaming? Sounds like moving furniture to me.” The driver says, voice softly accented, genuine surprise in his eyes when he returns the look.

“My daughter loves it,” Alicent says and winks at Rhaenyra.

The driver chuckles, shakes his head. 

“Mine, too. Is crazy about that strange front man. Homosexual if you ask me—”

Rhaenyra coughs over a laugh, and conspiratorially nods at Alicent.

“—but,” the man says sternly, “I do not mind the homosexuals. They help my wife when she was in hospital. She has book club and many old homosexuals there and they visit every day when she was sick.” 

Warmth spreads through Alicent. She takes Rhaenyra’s hand. Rhaenyra squeezes back.

“That’s lovely. I hope your wife is better again.”

The man perks up. 

“She is. Nothing can keep down her. Alhamdulillah.” The love in his voice is so evident that Alicent presses Rhaenyra’s hand again. 

“Does she like the music?” Rhaenyra asks.

“No.” 

They all laugh.

They chat pleasantly for the rest of the way, the driver tells them of his daughter and how she wants to be an artist and that he secretly hopes she can become one but is scared with such a profession, that he was a chemist before he came here and wants a different future for his daughter. That he wants her to fulfil her dream, even if it is being an artist.  

The car comes to a stop in front of a new apartment complex. They exchange well wishes and Rhaenyra holds the door open for Alicent. 

The night has turned cold at last, wind raising goosebumps on Alicent’s still sweaty skin. 

Rhaenyra ushers her inside. They take the elevator, and its stark over-head light sobers Alicent up a little. She stares into the mirrored back-wall, rights her hair, squints at where her makeup has rubbed off, making her nose and cheeks look uneven. 

A kiss breaks her out of her scrutiny.

“You look beautiful,” Rhaenyra says.

Adrenaline surges through Alicent. To be beside her like this, a little drunk, messy, and yet be called beautiful—

Rhaenyra draws her close. 

The elevator door dings open.

“Come on baby,” Rhaenyra murmurs, voice husky, and takes Alicent’s hand.

Rhaenyra’s flat is spacious. They toe their shoes off in the hallway and Rhaenyra sorts her platforms into a cabinet array of all-black leather shoes, some patent and pointy, most chunky with some platform. Alicent puts her Chanel heels next to them and with it her bag, checks one more time if Aemond has perhaps texted. He hasn’t. All is well. 

Rhaenyra is shorter now, though still taller than Alicent and the new height allows Alicent to nestle her face into the crook of Rhaenyra’s shoulder easily. Rhaenyra kisses her temple, breathing her in, and Alicent melts against her. 

They pass a big not yet unpacked suitcase as they move into the living room. Soft orange light reveals framed posters on the walls of an androgynous black person in a suit, cigarette propped between full lips, probably some actor or musician Alicent’s children would chastise her for not knowing. 

A big leather couch is the centrepiece of the living room, a blanket thrown over its backrest, glass coffee table with a coffee cup half drunk leaving its ringed stain, bookshelves line the wall, more posters, and dark landscapes in oil here and there in shiny black frames. 

Rhaenyra walks over to a record player and fixes the needle. Crackling noise fills the room and a soothing deep voice drawls over a slow 80s beat. Alicent walks along the cabinets with knickknacks and photographs, one of ‘Win and Rhaenyra in a club, glitter raining from the ceiling as they hug and grin at the camera. The one next to it is of a much younger Rhaenyra, perhaps fourteen with longer hair staring up at—Daemon. A great red maple tree casts its leaves over them, streaking them with sunlight and shadow. Undeniable infatuation shines in Rhaenyra’s face, eyes intent on her uncle, and he is looking back with clear adoration that softens his sharp features. They stand beside each other, her hand in his. 

Nausea spreads in Alicent’s belly. She has not forgotten how they looked at each other. A history spans between them that Alicent might never grasp. A love—

“Hey.” 

Arms encircle Alicent. Rhaenyra’s chin nudges on Alicent’s shoulder. 

“What are you looking at?”

“Nothing—”

Rhaenyra presses her cheek against Alicent’s. It’s too easy to gleam what she has been scrutinising and Rhaenyra chuckles quietly against her skin, reaching out to trace the photograph’s gold-plated frame. 

“Long time ago,” Rhaenyra says. A note of bitterness beneath tight affection. 

“Will you see him while he’s here?” Alicent asks despite herself. She does not want to know.

“If he picks up the phone,” Rhaenyra quips, shaking her head. Strands of her hair tickle Alicent’s cheek. 

Alicent turns in Rhaenyra’s embrace, looks her deep in the eyes. 

“I don’t know if that’s silly but…I’m here if you want to talk.” 

A smile tempers Rhaenyra’s expression. She nudges Alicent’s nose with her own.

“There really isn’t much to tell. It’s like I said earlier. We were really close when I was younger, but then he had some fight with my father and I went away for uni and then I started the band, and I just…didn’t see him anymore. He used to bring me presents on every visit. He still does. If I see him.” She laughs quietly. “It was probably for the best. I wanted to be him so badly. I think not seeing him helped me realise that in a way I might not have if he had stayed more present.” And quieter, “But I miss him.”

Alicent thinks of her brother whom she has not seen in four years. Perhaps she can understand a little of what Rhaenyra is feeling. 

“I’m sorry,” Alicent says despite her aversion to the man and the nausea that roils her at the thought of him and Rhaenyra. It’s disgraceful. She ought not to—

“But, I didn’t bring you here to talk about my uncle.” Rhaenyra grins and takes Alicent’s hand. 

It hits Alicent suddenly that she is in Rhaenyra’s home. After all the time talking on the phone, she is actually here— 

Rhaenyra wraps an arm around her and pulls her close. 

“Do you want something to drink?” Rhaenyra asks.

“No, I want you,” Alicent murmurs, looking up at Rhaenyra, she cannot believe Rhaenyra is real, that she herself is here with her. 

“You—” Alicent swallows, “you’ve shaken…shaken up my world.”

Rhaenyra grins, stares back at her with an intensity that pushes heat into Alicent’s cheeks. And into other places, too.

“I’m so glad your daughter likes my music.” 

Rhaenyra trails a finger up Alicent’s side and while holding eye contact Rhaenyra cups Alicent’s breasts over the blouse. Alicent swallows again. It feels good. Feels so good. Rhaenyra squeezes.

“Show me…” Alicent clears her suddenly tight throat, “Show me how to do it…”

Rhaenyra unbuttons her blouse enough to slip her hands inside, under her bra. Palms press over her nipples. Alicent gasps, inhales a shaky breath. 

“I’ve…I’ve never…”

Rhaenyra retrieves her hands, entwines their fingers instead.

“Let’s go to bed, baby,” Rhaenyra murmurs, voice low and Alicent can’t help but follow her.

Twi-lit room. Rhaenyra ignites a handful of tealight candles in mismatched glasses, it’s dark enough to see mere silhouettes of black clothes piling on a chair by the door. Ripped-out pages of poetry stick to the wall above a big unmade bed and chunky silver jewellery strews on the bedside table, glinting with the candle flame. The music flutters in from the living room, twining in the air with the scent of melting wax. It’s so unlike Alicent’s orderly home, and though she admonishes Aegon and Helaena to tidy up every other day, this space seems almost organic in its state, tender, untamed. Like Rhaenyra. 

Alicent turns to look at her and finds her laid back on the bed, bare-footed, leather-jacket open, golden skin dewy with sweat, muscles defined. Ink forms the sharp blacked-out shape of a sword down Rhaenyra’s ribs, and by her collarbone the elegant coil of a three-headed dragon, black shot through with red curving up over her shoulder. She is stunning. Unreal.

“Come here.”

Alicent obeys. Sits on the bed, a little awkward, but Rhaenyra draws her closer until she lies beside her. Rhaenyra strokes a curl from Alicent’s face.

“You don’t have to do anything you don’t like,” Rhaenyra says earnestly, smiling, “I’m perfectly happy to eat you out all night. You don’t have to touch me.”

“I want to,” Alicent says, trying not to think of the embarrassingly many nights in which she has imagined it. 

“I just don’t know if it’s—if it’s good. If it feels good. For you.”

Rhaenyra cackles, shakes her head in what seems disbelief. 

“You make me feel good,” Rhaenyra drawls, pulls her closer and Alicent slides a reverent hand down Rhaenyra’s pecs, her toned stomach.

“Yeah?” Alicent says, thoughts a whorl, her fingers hot on hotter skin. She can’t believe she is allowed this— Elation steals the breath from her lungs, fills her toe to top, and like something breaking, she tackles Rhaenyra and Rhaenyra laughs, rough and hungry and then they are kissing, biting, hands all over each other. 

“I want to eat you out,” Alicent gasps between kisses, “want you to pull my hair, want your fingers inside me—your tongue—” 

Rhaenyra pushes her down into the sheets. The next moment Rhaenyra is tearing the jacket off Alicent, the blouse follows, then Rhaenyra is kneeling, fingers hooked under her skirt’s waistband and pulls it down along with her underwear until Alicent is fully naked beneath her. Heavy breaths. Rhaenyra’s wolfish gaze. 

“You’re so fucking beautiful.”

Alicent almost whines. 

“Kiss me,” she begs, and Rhaenyra moves up and obliges.

With a despair she has not known before, Alicent tugs Rhaenyra’s jacket off completely, and with some fumbling and laughing and wiggling from Rhaenyra, rids her of her trousers and boxer shorts as well, until they lie skin against skin. To feel her like this—Alicent has dreamt of it but could not have imagined how it ignites her skin and something deep in her body, desire that flows through her like lava, and deeper still a comfort she did not know was possible. A right-ness. A goodness. Beauty.

They kiss, limbs entangled, tongues sliding against each other, skin pressing, so hot and electric, a delirium of flesh, of want fulfilled—

Rhaenyra’s hand between Alicent’s thighs, stroking her skin, and eagerly Alicent spreads her legs, so wet again already. Fingers slip into her easily and a thumb circles over her clit, Alicent moves her hips, gasping against Rhaenyra’s mouth, her own hands grasping and grabbing and exploring the hard muscle of Rhaenyra’s body, her chest, the hard curve of her ass.

Rhaenyra moans into her mouth.

Emboldened, Alicent grabs her ass, slides lower, touches her from behind, rubbing two fingers over her wetness.

“I call it—I call my—” Rhaenyra gasps, a flush of pink over her cheeks. “I call it my cock,” she says and nods down. 

This perhaps is the first time Alicent has ever been turned on by the word. She dares to look and sees Rhaenyra is hard, bigger than Alicent, and before she can think twice she glides down the bed and buries her face between Rhaenyra’s legs.

A loud moan above.

Alicent can’t think. She just presses her face into Rhaenyra’s flesh, breathes her in like a madwoman, starts half-kissing, half-licking until Rhaenyra seizes her hair and directs Alicent where she wants her. It’s so hot Alicent thinks she could come just from that: having Rhaenyra’s strong hand in her hair, clasp so tight and safe and Alicent blinks up at her, watches how Rhaenyra’s eyes darken, her features god-like in the candle flame, golden and strong and ravishing like a statue of the sungod come alive. She grabs Rhaenyra’s ass and starts pressing her mouth against Rhaenyra’s cock, licking, suckling, slips lower, licks up the salty wetness before pressing her tongue inside Rhaenyra.

“Fuck,” Rhaenyra groans above her. 

Alicent grabs Rhaenyra’s ass harder and with her free hand drags circles over Rhaenyra’s cock. Rhaenyra takes her wrist, adjusts the movement and places it to the left. Alicent follows her direction eagerly, moves and moves until Rhaenyra starts writhing. A string of curses explodes into the air. The hand in Alicent’s hair pulls sharply and then Rhaenyra is tensing, moaning louder, and—Alicent cannot believe it—coming on her mouth. It leaves Alicent dizzy, head spinning when she shifts up into Rhaenyra’s arms again. Rhaenyra’s chest is heaving. It seems impossible this is because of Alicent. Her head spins. She kisses Rhaenyra who grabs her hungrily, pushing her tongue into Alicent’s mouth. Their naked bodies press together deliciously, she could stay like this forever with Rhaenyra, primordial instinct telling her she is safe, and she strokes a reverent hand through Rhaenyra’s sweaty hair, moaning when Rhaenyra’s legs slides between her thighs.

“Want you all night,” Rhaenyra murmurs roughly, “want you every night.”

Alicent makes a broken noise, kisses Rhaenyra more desperately and cannot but grind on Rhaenyra’s knee while her own hand rubs over Rhaenyra’s cock again. A sharp exhale against her, she looks at Rhaenyra who grabs her harder, biting her lip and with one harsh swoop Alicent is on her back with Rhaenyra on top, between her legs. Kisses slick Alicent’s skin, Rhaenyra licks and bites her way down. Her hot mouth closes around Alicent’s nipple, sucking until arousal and sensation is almost too much and Alicent is begging her for more. Kisses burn over her collar bone, shoulder, her arms, some featherlight, others rougher. Alicent weaves her hands through Rhaenyra’s hair and abandons herself to Rhaenyra’s worshipping mouth. Slowly, Rhaenyra’s fingers drag over her clit, rub there until Alicent moans and whimpers while Rhaenyra looks her in the eye, and only when she starts begging does Rhaenyra retrieve her hand, sucks her fingers, still looking at Alicent, to slip them into her. Unnecessary. Alicent has never been wetter in her life. Rhaenyra’s fingers push into her with a squelching sound and Alicent feels herself blushing—and looking. Rhaenyra’s fingers sink into her cunt.

“Fuck,” Rhaenyra says, and lower, “You take me so well.” And with that adds a third. And a forth. The stretch and friction feel good, and better still when Rhaenyra uses her other hand to smear some of Alicent’s slickness over her clit before rubbing it in rhythm with her thrusts. It rips all thoughts from Alicent, all shame as she watches herself get fingered by Rhaenyra, pressing her cheek against hers as they both watch and Alicent moans, wrapping her arms around Rhaenyra’s neck. Words crawl up her throat, confessions she is not quite ready to speak, so she just looks at Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra looks back, ravenous, tender. 

“I want to make you come,” Rhaenyra murmurs, almost a plea, crooking her fingers inside Alicent, pushing on her clit, kissing her mouth. Alicent whimpers and clenches on Rhaenyra’s fingers, feels heat build inside her, exhaustion and bliss entangled and Rhaenyra’s pressure on her clit is so delicious, so right, the feeling of her squarish strong fingers stretching her, so good, so fucking good—

Bliss rolls over her and she is coming, but Rhaenyra does not stop, Alicent moans and whimpers and ecstasy razes through her, builds into a towering rapture that reaves her of all but heat and she is coming again, still coming and Rhaenyra fucks her through it until tears slip down Alicent’s cheeks and she collapses into the sheets. The world spins—her whole body trembles, but Rhaenyra moves down her body, hot mouth latching onto Alicent’s clit and Alicent cries as Rhaenyra licks hard and unrelenting and so hot, so ruinous, Alicent grabs her hair and thrusts her hips into Rhaenyra’s face and comes one more time. A scream echoes in the room. It takes Alicent a moment to realise it’s her own voice. Delirious she sinks back, head full of fog, body cooling in the fire of Rhaenyra’s love. 

“You are incredible.” Rhaenyra’s roughened-up voice barely treads through Alicent’s hazy mind. Warm wet lips find hers. She pulls Rhaenyra close and lets herself be kissed and tries to catch her breath while she entangles her legs with Rhaenyra’s. So warm and good, she nestles against Rhaenyra who wraps her arms around her, kissing her cheek.

Sleep swishes over them like waves on a nocturnal beach. Soft kisses. Rhaenyra pulls the blanket over them, her hands a paradisial comfort. The flames sink on their wicks into wax and darken the twilight. 

At some point Rhaenyra untangles herself with a kiss and blows out the remaining candles. She moves about. Returns with a gentle touch to Alicent’s shoulder.

“Water?”

Alicent sits up and drinks, thankful, snuggling against Rhaenyra’s side.

“I have to take my contacts out for a sec,” Rhaenyra murmurs. “I also have a spare toothbrush if you want it.”

Alicent smiles in the dark.

“Yeah, that’d be lovely.”

They stumble into the bathroom together, hands entwined, kissing each other’s cheeks and shoulders. Rhaenyra bends over the sink and takes out her contacts while Alicent brushes her teeth sitting on the bathtub rim. Rhaenyra, with her own toothbrush, sits down by Alicent’s knee a second later and Alicent uses her free hand to stroke her hair. Never has she felt so comfortable being naked or being with someone else naked. Slowly, Rhaenyra turns her head up, smiling around frothy white tooth-paste and brush. Warmth sweeps through Alicent so thoroughly she has to take out the toothbrush and kiss Rhaenyra’s cheek. Muffled happy giggles. Alicent stands to rinse her mouth and Rhaenyra joins, hugging her from behind with one arm.

They wash their faces. Scent of aloe and citrus from Rhaenyra’s makeup remover and they return to bed bare-faced, skin pink from cleaning, smelling fresh and of sex all at once. 

“Shower tomorrow?” Rhaenyra kisses her neck.

“Please.” 

Rhaenyra lets herself fall into bed, pulling Alicent with her. They shift in the sheets, limbs rearranging until Alicent lies on Rhaenyra’s chest and has a leg thrown over Rhaenyra’s hip. Rhaenyra’s arm around her shoulder, other hand on her leg. 

“Th-thank you for tonight,” Alicent mumbles into the dark.

Rhaenyra kisses her temple.

“Any time, baby.”

Sweet exhaustion tides Alicent into slumber and for once in her life no sorrow plucks at her heart. She is simply happy, warm in Rhaenyra’s arms.

The scent of fresh coffee weaves into Alicent’s dreaming. A soft voice trickles in from a nearby room. Someone is talking on the phone. Alicent turns onto her stomach, stretching her legs and shoving her arms under the pillow, she breathes in deeply and her stomach growls when the scent of toast drifts over alongside the coffee. She blinks. This is not her bed. She’s not at home. She is—

A rush of adrenaline jolts her awake. She is at Rhaenyra’s. Heat pushes into her cheeks and she cannot stop herself from smiling. She’s still naked.

Sheepishly she crawls out of bed and selects an oversized t-shirt from the pile of black clothes on the chair, pressing it to her nose. It’s fresh and that is almost a disappointment. She slips it on, looks in the mirror. It reaches to her mid-thighs and the previously crinkled font spells MUCC, whoever that is. She paddles barefoot towards the voice and scent, but makes a detour to the front door to sift through her bag for her phone and checks if her children have texted or called. They haven’t. She sends a quick good morning message in their group chat and then one to Aemond specifically, asking if all is okay. The message turns read immediately. Three dots appear while Aemond is typing.

Good morning. All’s good. Hel and Aegon are still asleep.

Naturally. Helaena has always been a night owl, and Aegon will probably wake up with a hangover in the afternoon. A sigh leaves her. How can she handle him? What can she do to steer him onto the right path? Is this just a phase he goes through? What would Rhaenyra say? She replies and then puts her phone back, turns to the voice, walking towards it.

Oil sizzles loudly in a pan, the salty rich smell of eggs and bacon hits Alicent and also the freshness of a just peeled orange. Her mouth waters. 

Rhaenyra stands by the stove, spatula in hand, phone tucked between shoulder and cheek. She’s in thin wiry glasses, wearing jogging trousers and a loose t-shirt with cut-off sleeves, revealing her strong arms. Alicent swallows. 

“Alright. Go to bed. I’ll talk to you later.” Rhaenyra ends the call and turns to Alicent, eyes lighting up when she sees her.

“Good morning,” Alicent says and leans against the door frame.

Rhaenyra’s gaze drinks her in, unabashed and so openly that Alicent feels hot under her collar.

“Wow,” Rhaenyra says, putting down spatula and phone, and quieter, “I could get used to this.” 

Is Rhaenyra blushing? Alicent looks at her as she approaches, heart beating faster. 

“I–I haven’t brushed my teeth ye–” 

But Rhaenyra is already kissing her. Alicent opens her mouth for her, hands fisting in Rhaenyra’s shirt as Rhaenyra pushes her up against the doorframe. Their bodies together, Rhaenyra’s strong hands on her waist, moving up to her breasts— All makes Alicent moan and pull Rhaenyra closer.

“I want to eat you up,” Rhaenyra groans into their kiss. 

Hot sparks shoot down Alicent’s belly, between her legs, she can feel herself slicken already, cannot help but take Rhaenyra’s hand and push it between her thighs.

“Fuck,” Rhaenyra breaths but pulls her hand back. She blinks an apologetic look, a loop-sided gummy grin. “Need to wash my hands—” She nods at the stove, then with a curse rushes back to it, taking the pan off the fire. 

Alicent stands where she left her, breathing heavily before laughter bubbles up in her and the next second they are both giggling and Alicent hands Rhaenyra the plates already laid out on the countertop.

“Breakfast first?” Rhaenyra grins, knocking her knee against Alicent’s.

“Yeah, alright,” Alicent says, joy so tumultuous in her chest she has to pull Rhaenyra in and kiss her cheek and mouth and other cheek while Rhaenyra squeals happily, most certainly dropping a slice of bacon on the floor.

They eat in the kitchen, legs entangled under the table, stealing each other’s food off the plates. Thank god she only had one drink last night, she feels fresh and ready. She has also not slept this well in ages. 

Rhaenyra grins at her across the table and Alicent leans over and pulls her into a kiss. She tastes of toast and coffee and orange and of Rhaenyra and it’s so wonderful and homey she can’t believe it’s only the second time they have seen each other. 

“Can we do this again?” Alicent asks over the Darth Vader coffee mug, almost the same Helaena used to have as a child. 

Rhaenyra squeezes Alicent’s leg with her own.

“Every day.”

Not long after, they end up in the bathroom together, Rhaenyra slowly raising Alicent’s shirt before throwing it to the side, Alicent standing naked in front of her. The bathroom tiles are warm beneath her feet, but she trembles regardless, drawing Rhaenyra’s hands onto her breasts and Rhaenyra cups them while sinking to her knees in front of Alicent. Carefully, Alicent takes the glasses off Rhaenyra.

Rhaenyra eats her out right there, Alicent’s hands clutching at Rhaenyra’s hair until she comes on her mouth and tongue. They slip into the shower afterwards, kissing, soaping each other up and Alicent can’t help pressing herself against Rhaenyra and feeling her cock, dizzy when Rhaenyra takes her wrist and guides Alicent’s hand in a quick rough rhythm while Alicent cannot help but stare at Rhaenyra’s handsome face, the way the water pearls from her hair onto her golden skin, over the hard curves of her muscles.

“You’re so hot,” Alicent says, deliriously feeling how turned on Rhaenyra is. 

Rhaenyra grabs her by the hair and pushes her against the wall, kissing her hard and then Alicent can feel Rhaenyra tense and quiver and come—

A curse falls from Alicent’s throat and she kisses Rhaenyra again and again until Rhaenyra growls, rinses them off quickly and takes Alicent’s hand to pull her into the bedroom again.

Rhaenyra fucks her on the bed and makes her come two more times until Alicent is babbling and begging while Rhaenyra has four fingers inside her cunt, mouth pressed to her clit. 

The stretch turns into a delicious soft ache later and she wonders if she’ll feel the memory of Rhaenyra’s fingers inside her all day. 

Rhaenyra lies propped up on the bed like a jungle cat after feasting, almost dangerous in her handsomeness and Alicent keeps glancing back at her as she dresses and tries to smooth out the wrinkles in her blouse. She knots her hair into a bun and steals some of Rhaenyra’s foundation, lipstick and mascara. Rhaenyra comes up behind her, wrapping her arms around Alicent and a sudden pit opens its maws in her heart. A strange fear stutters the breath in her lungs.

“I don’t…I don’t want to go.”

“Stay,” Rhaenyra says.

“I have to get back to the kids.” 

Rhaenyra kisses her neck, peppers more kisses onto Alicent’s head.

“Take me with you?”

Alicent turns in the embrace, heartbeat quickening. She stares at Rhaenyra who returns the look, and—Rhaenyra is blushing.

“I mean. Totally can also see you later. I know this is early to meet someone’s children. I can—”

Alicent kisses her. Rhaenyra melts into it, hands on Alicent’s waist. Alicent grins into the kiss, pulling back slightly to breathe against Rhaenyra’s mouth. 

“Be a good boy and I’ll show you my bedroom later,” Alicent says, does not know what possesses her, but the words are out before she can think twice. Good god.

Rhaenyra’s hands tighten on her waist. Eyes lidded low, Rhaenyra looks at her darkly. Alicent shivers.

“I’ll be so good. And later, bad.”

A rough kiss later, Alicent watches Rhaenyra put on tailored black trousers, what looks like an oversized silver plated shirt, several long necklaces and chunky rings and lastly an oversized ankle-length leather coat and pointy boots with a heel. 

“That too much?” Rhaenyra grins like someone who has never once considered toning down anything.

“You look perfect,” Alicent says, blushing as she traces Rhaenyra’s tall dark silhouette. 

The train station is only a three minute walk away and Alicent does not mind getting on the underground, not when she stands with Rhaenyra’s arm tight around her while people stare at them. Instead of shame, she feels pride. 

Rhaenyra has slipped on a pair of sleek square Louis Vuitton sunglasses and a bag of her own and now leans down to Alicent while she pulls her closer.

“Careful,” Rhaenyra says, nods discreetly at someone to their left, “They’re taking a picture of us. Turn your head if you don’t want to be in it.”

Oh. It takes Alicent a second to understand why someone would photograph them, she looks at Rhaenyra who smiles at her.

“I’m only subculture-famous but you might end up in a goth mag being called my girlfriend.”

Alicent can’t help herself blushing. She does not notice the flare of the flash when it comes, only Rhaenyra.

“Am I…am I your…girlfriend?” 

Rhaenyra manoeuvres Alicent against the glass wall of the seats, shielding them with her back, then takes off her sunglasses.

“Do you want to be my girlfriend?”

The rush of the train fades and the world narrows to the space between them. Alicent  looks up at Rhaenyra.

“Yeah,” she says.

Rhaenyra beams and kisses her, and Alicent winds her arms around Rhaenyra’s bulky coat and pulls her close. The train moves shakily and joy spreads through Alicent bright as the summer sun. 

They arrive at the station closest to the café and walk from there, hand in hand, glancing at each other and grinning and kissing and Alicent feels silly with joy, like one of those teenagers in the cheesy shows she knows Aegon watches secretly on their family streaming account. 

Alicent unlocks the car and Rhaenyra slides onto the passenger seat with easy grace. Rhaenyra is in her car. For a moment, Alicent just stares at her. Then she turns the ignition.

“If I’m your girlfriend,” Alicent says and tries to focus on the road ahead and the city traffic, “what are you? I mean. Because of the-the gender.”

Rhaenyra’s hand slides onto her knee, but only lightly.

“Your boyfriend. Or datemate.” Happiness is so dazzling in Rhaenyra’s expression when Alicent glances over that she almost forgets to look back at the road. Someone honks their horn behind them. Rhaenyra curses at them mildly, grin staying in place.

Alicent’s pulse quickens. She still can’t believe it. Affection fills her to the brim and her belly is full of butterflies. She smiles, can’t stop smiling.

“My datemate,” she tries it out, endeared by the rhyme in the word, endeared by Rhaenyra. A term that her father would have only scoffed at, but one her children might not. Won’t. Though they might squint in suspicion to hear Alicent say it. How different the world seems from a month ago. How different…she is. Or perhaps this has always been inside her and she simply…did not know how to say it all. Be it.

“What are you thinking of?” Rhaenyra asks softly.

Alicent smiles.

“How you’ve changed my life.”

They leave the city behind and move onto the country road towards the town, the sun warm and bright in an endlessly blue sky, a forest lining the empty road on the left side, leaves swaying in red and yellow. How strange to see Rhaenyra here in her car and yet it feels as though she belongs exactly here. The world glistens in the radiance of Rhaenyra’s company. Rhaenyra grins at her. They chat about Rhaenyra’s schedule—she has the next two weeks off before going back into the studio—and Alicent puts on the Chopin piece she showed Rhaenyra a while back and Rhaenyra hums along to the melody, voice soft and deep and enchanting and Alicent wants to kiss her so badly, she pulls up the car, stops, and leans over to press her lips to Rhaenyra’s mouth. 

“You’re so beautiful,” Rhaenyra murmurs and kisses Alicent again and again until Alicent giggles and feels her face hot with happiness. 

“And you’re so handsome,” she says, “the most handsome.” 

“Yeah?”

“Uh-huh,” Alicent says eagerly.

They kiss again, grinning like teenagers and Alicent feels hot under Rhaenyra’s wandering hands, wishes they could go back to Rhaenyra’s place to be alone for a little longer— Rhaenyra bites at her neck, sucking the flesh into her mouth, and Alicent knows it will leave a bruise and the thought leaves her with a hot flare and tingling between her legs.

“Rhaenyra,” she gasps, hands slipping under Rhaenyra’s coat. 

“Yes, baby?”

“Will you stay the night?”

“If you’ll have me,” Rhaenyra says before sheepishly nodding to her bag, “I have packed for it.”

Alicent blushes, watches Rhaenyra blush in turn and then they are both cackling and kissing again and Rhaenyra says, “Do you think your kids will like me?”

“How could they not? You’re the coolest person I could ever bring home.” Alicent bites her lip, embarrassed by so openly speaking the truth but Rhaenyra only grins wider, pulling in Alicent for another kiss.

They stand on Alicent’s front porch and Alicent’s heart beats so hard in her chest, she can barely fish the key from her bag. She wants a cigarette so badly. She has not introduced anyone to her children since her husband’s death, but has seen often enough how some children react to a new partner. Then again, this is Rhaenyra. 

Rhaenyra wraps an arm around her.

“If it’s too early, I can call an uber to the  station and come by another time.” There’s a nervous tremor in Rhaenyra’s voice, but she smiles reassuringly. 

Warmth blooms in Alicent’s chest. She squeezes Rhaenyra’s hand.

“Maybe…maybe we could have a quick smoke before?”

Rhaenyra raises an eyebrow, grins.

“Thought you quit. Again.”

“Shut up.”

Rhaenyra slips out a pack of black cigarettes with a little devil logo on it. A mild scent of vanilla wafts into the air when Rhaenyra lights one, hands it to Alicent. 

“Share?” 

Alicent nods, wants to hand the cigarette over, but Rhaenyra pulls her in by the neck and breathes the smoke from her lips instead. It’s so hot that Alicent forgets momentarily where they are. Rhaenyra picks the cigarette from Alicent’s fingers.

“You like that?”

Alicent can only nod. Rhaenyra inhales the smoke deeply before leaning in and Alicent mirrors the motion, opening her mouth for Rhaenyra to blow smoke between her lips in turn. Alicent breathes in deeply, nicotine rushing through her, calming her nerves. She really should stop. She has quit. Rhaenyra grins. The devil.

Alicent stubs out the cigarette, unlocks the door and lets them inside. 

For a brief moment she panics, she must smell of smoke now and no doubt they will notice, and what will they think of her then? 

“I’m home,” she calls into the house. 

Rhaenyra steps next to her and her panic melts into comfort to feel her close, ignites into pride, then into something else that warms like nothing’s ever warmed her. Sudden tears prick at her eyes. She smiles at Rhaenyra, Rhaenyra smiles back and for the first time in her life Alicent believes all will be alright.

“Mom?”

Helaena appears on the stairs, still in her PJs, looking soft and young. Her baby. 

Then Helaena freezes as she sees Rhaenyra. Helaena’s mouth opens in a shocked O.

Alicent’s heart beats quickly, happily. 

“Hi sweetheart,” she says. “There’s someone I’d like you to meet.”

Rhaenyra cackles and takes Alicent’s hand, pressing it tenderly.

“I heard you like my music.”