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“Good job today Ceobe!”
“hehe, thank you Fang” sauntering back to the landship I can’t help but think how well the mission went, there were bad guys and I threw lots of weapons at them, I think I did well!
“What do you want to do when you get back, Ceobe?” Fang asked.
“EAT HONEY BISCUITS! LOTS OF THEM!”
“... Yeah I guess that made sense, but be careful about not eating too much though, you might get stomach aches if you’re too careless.”
“stomakaxe? What’s that? A new type of weapon?”
“Errr... Yeah, it’s a weapon that can-”
“I WANT IT!”
“... Fine I’ll show it to you errr... later, but first, let’s feed you some honey biscuits.”
“YAYYYY HONEY BISCUITS!”
Once we arrive back in the landship, I quickly dart inside the kitchen on all fours
“HONEY BISCUITS! HONEY BISCUITS!”
Zooming inside the kitchen I quickly rush to the honey biscuit jar, open it and...
...
Huh?
Wh... Why is it... Empty...?
“Oh Ceobe!” Doctor appeared from the door.
“DOKUTAH!” rushing towards him with tears in my eyes, “HONEY BISCUITS! JAR! EMPTY!”
“Calm down Ceobe, what is happening?”
“Th... The honey biscuit jar Doctor! It’s empty!”
“Oh this, yes I ate the last one this morning. Sorry.”
“...”
I can feel tears pricking in my eyes. No honey biscuit...?
“C... Ceobe calm down okay! These one were expiring, someone had to eat the-”
“DOCTOOOOR GIVE ME HONEY BISCUITS!” I bawl in front of him.
My life is over. I thought that after the mission I would be drowning in honey biscuits, and yet... There was none. No honey biscuit at all. The world is coming to an end, the Great Catastrophe has struck once again and there’s no escaping it. Why even live in the first place if there’s no honey biscuit anymore?”
“... So as I was saying, I had to eat them, and there’s a new delivery of fresh honey biscuits that just arrived.”
My eyes instantly dry up.
“New... Honey biscuits?”
“Yes Ceobe. New honey biscuits, though this time the recipe is slightly different from the previous o-”
“WHERE HONEY BISCUITS!” I pin Doctor down on the ground, my mouth salivating and my eyes beaming with hope.
“Ow, Ceobe calm down they just arrived, they are not out of the boxes yet so they are staying in the warehouse for no-WAIT COME BACK”
In a flash I’m already darting towards the warehouse. I have perfect knowledge of its location, errr... Not because I used to wake up at night and sneak inside to eat some food of course, but because... A friend operator worked inside. Probably.
“SOMEONE CATCH THAT DOG QUICK!” I think I hear Doctor screaming something at me but I’m too far gone already to stop and soon I can’t hear his voice anymore anyway.
Rushing on all fours towards the forbidden location, I can hear some voices of fellow operators around me.
“Is that Ceobe?”
“Why is she salivating?”
“What the dog doin’?”
But their voices dissolve around me as fast as they manifest and as I approach the storehouse I can smell a tantalizing smell in my nostrils. Undoubtedly the scent of honey biscuits.
“HONEEEEY BISCUIIIITS!!!”
I pounce to crash the door open and there they are: mountains of boxes containing honey biscuits.
“THANKS FOR THE MEAL!”
Pouncing again, I only jump around 30 centimeters forward before falling flat.
“OW!” I turn back and I see operator Rangers has caught my tail.
“Ceobe, these biscuits are supposed to last around a month or so, I can’t allow you to eat everything.”
“B... BUT RANGERS!”
“HERE SHE IS!” Soon enough all the operators and Doctor who were chasing me found me. It’s over. I won’t have all these honey biscuits for myself, and as soon as I realize this I bawl again.
“Doctor... H... Honey biscuits...”
“It’s okay Ceobe, I never said I won’t give you some, only that you can’t eat all this mountain for yourself in one go...”
My eyes beam again. “REALLY?”
“Yes... In fact I needed to to write a review of this new recipe of honey biscuits. Would you help me?”
“Res Hippie?”
“Recipe Ceobe. As in, what’s inside the honey biscuit.”
“Oh I know that Doctor! There’s honey and then there’s biscuit!” my eyes beam. Damn I’m so smart.
“Errr. Yeah sure. Anyway,” I see Doctor slowly unwrapping one box of the new sorts of honey biscuits, barely aware of the saliva drooling on my knees. As he finally opens the box the heavenly scent invades my nose like I just ended up in paradise.
“I think these were sold by a columbian merchant, though I have no idea if they are good or n-”
“DOCTOR PLEAAASE GIVE ME HONEY BISCUIT!”
“... Fine, but again I want to reiterate that I want you to give me a fair rating about these biscuits.”
I have no idea what these fancy words mean, but I’ll do anything for some honey biscuits so I simply nod. Doctor picks up a biscuit from the box then gets closer, my eyes riveted on the succulent-looking biscuit in his hand.
“Open wide Ceobe” I don’t even wait for him to finish his sentence that I open my mouth wide enough to gobble ten biscuits at the same time. Doctor puts the biscuit inside and...
*MUNCH CRACK SLURP SLURP GLURP GLORP CRICK GLUPS*
“SHO GOOD DOCTCHOR!” I manage to say between two bites, “ANOGER WONE!!!”
“Wait no Ceobe we actually need your opinion on this new recipe now as agreed…”
“IJ GOOD BICHKIT DOKCHOR!!!” nomnomnomnom
“Mmh… The heavenly taste of the biscuit is so divine that one might forget having a mouthful of it and somehow still be able to speak…” I see Doctor scribbling something on a paper but I don’t care, I just want more biscuits!
“Alright… Now what about the texture?”
“Teggstchuh? What is this Doctor?” I ask after gulping down the last crumbs of biscuit.
“The texture… You know… How it feels inside the mouth?”
“Mmh I don’t know… Give me another one, I forgot!”
I watch in delight as Doctor reluctantly goes to grab another honey biscuit. I’m already drooling at the idea of eating another one. As he comes back I beg for it and he feeds it to me!”
Nomnomslurpcronchcrackcronch
“So… About this texture?” Doctor asks.
“OH!” I say my cheeks swollen like a hamster, “GOOD TEKCHTUH DOCTOR!!!”
“Mmh… A perfect and rich texture, the ultimate middleground between crunchy and soft, a most exquisite blend of what the cookie dough offers best.” He scribbles more things.
“Alright… Now Ceobe I will have you focus more on the visual aspect of the biscuit. How would you describe it visually?”
“weejuly?”
“… Forget that, let’s try a practical approach.” He goes to get another biscuit and my tail is already wagging from anticipation. Once he comes back he hovers the biscuit inches away from my face.
“What do you think? Do you think it’s pretty looking?”
Oh it’s certainly delicious looking alright... Huuuh... What did Doctor ask again?
“I... It’s...” I swipe some of the drool that spills from my mouth “It’s... Round...”
“Mmh, indeed. What about the colors?”
“Colors... Yellow... Like honey...” I can feel the veins in my eyes almost bursting from not being able to eat the delicious treat presented right in front of me. I can’t... Resist...
“Mmh yellow... Alright, what else? Something else about the shape maybe?”
I feel completely locked in on the delicious piece of biscuit right in front of me.
“Shape... Round... Must... Eat...”
“Mmh... Round...” Doctor continued scribbling. “Now what about the...”
“Errr... Doctor...” Rangers tried to warn him, “Have Ceobe’s teeth always been that sharp...?”
I pounce and bite the cookie like a dog possessed, then run to the rest of the box and start eating them one by one, three by three, ten by ten.
“SOMEONE STOP THIS DOG!” Rangers shouted
“WE’RE TRYING TO BUT SHE’S TOO FAST AND TOO STRONG!”
“SHE’S GOING TO DEVOUR ALL THE HONEY BISCUITS AT THIS RATE!”
“HONEEEEY BISCUIIIITS!!!” I go from one biscuit to the other, no biscuit is safe from me!.
“It’s too late now Doctor... I’m afraid we can’t stop her anymore... We can only wait and hope there will be at least one box left once she’s over... In the meantime I guess you can submit the full review Doctor... Based on what Ceobe provided”
I’m drowning in a lake of sweetness, crunchiness, softness, honeyness, chocolateness and Loch Ness. It feels like I’m seeing stars with each new bite, the honey biscuits are all around me, all inside me and I’ll never let them go!
...
Everything becomes black and I wake up in a hospital.
“So Doctor... Is it serious?”
“No she just has a stomach ache.”
“Heeeheee...” I grin, “stomakaxe...” I drift back to sleep. Best afternoon ever.
Final rating: Very yummy biscuit/10