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The holidays have always been a bit of a bummer for Wardlow, to say the least. Both of his sisters have their own family traditions, and his parents decided now is the perfect time for a holiday cruise. So Wardlow is by himself once again, kind of a recurring thing since he got injured. And thus, his perpetual state the past few months.
Wardlow wakes up groggy and hungover, having passed out watching Dynamite the night before, while tending to a bottle of Johnnie Walker black label. Normally, he wouldn’t be bothered to watch Dynamite especially when a certain suited dickhead would be making an appearance. But, he promised Matt that he would tune in as they had a segment with Adam, Mike and Kyle. The segment is a bit of a blur in Wardlow’s drunken haze, but he remembered that not only is MJF putting Adam and Kyle against each other for the Dynamite Diamond Ring. But despite Matt’s minor role in the segment, to Wardlow he looked ethereal.
So yes, the segment was arguably very dumb in his opinion. He was happy that he saw his love on screen at least. Especially since the past weeks have been very hard on the East Coast native, wanting so badly to be booked well and seemingly being stuck as a stooge on Rampage. Sure, he was pursuing the Pure Championship in Ring of Honor (a storyline the Cleveland native was watching very closely, despite not quite getting the Pure rules stipulation even though Matt explained it probably a billion times already). Matt still struggled with not being on Dynamite with his friends.
Even though the hangover still clings to Wardlow like a parasite, he smiles thinking about Matt. Their relationship is still in somewhat early stages, agreeing to go very, very slow for both their mental well beings. They keep it a secret at work, making sure nobody finds out about their building romance. Not even Mike knows, well officially it’s fairly obvious that Matt’s brother in arms knows something is going between the two. But he knows better than to stick his nose in business that isn’t his, and Bennett has bigger things to worry about. With his wife’s surgery going well and being there for his family during the holiday period. Mike is at least off Matt and Wardlow’s back for a while. Wardlow’s thoughts are interrupted with an email notification, he hurriedly checks it secretly hoping that it’s an email from AEW about when he can visit again. And, more importantly if he’s been cleared. Alas, it’s more Black Friday spam emails. He sighs dejected before taking some Advil with the last remaining dregs of the Johnnie Walker bottle before sitting up in bed.
He decides that he’ll rewatch that Dynamite segment, wanting to make sure he remembers it right. Specifically, so that if Matt talks about it Wardlow can actually engage in conversation with him and not look like a total doof. Not wanting to admit that all he did was stare at how hot his boyfriend is.
I mean, you did stare at him A LOT.
The voice in his head coos to him. Wardlow groans and just pulls up the clip on his phone, as he sits up he winces noticing the skin around his thighs is getting taught, healing skin getting tight around his old wounds. That’s the other thing, since he and Matt started dating Wardlow has not butchered his skin. Sure, his drinking has gotten fairly worse, almost as bad as his pre-wrestling days. And he goes way too hard in the gym with not enough food in his stomach to fuel him, but progress is progress. Wardlow also noticed that Matt’s scars are healing too, hoping a little selfishly that he plays a part in that. Just like how Matt plays the same part in his healing and fading wounds.
As he watches the clip back, muted and with subtitles in order to get MJF’s shrill voice out of his head. A sound he can not deal with sober, let alone hungover. He notices something he didn’t quite pick up on last night in his tipsy stupor, mostly because it’s a blink and you’ll miss it type of moment. As everyone is walking up the ramp, Wardlow sees Matt grip his thigh tightly and sees the ghost of a wince decorate his face. Wardlow sighs and his stomach sinks, knowing all too well what that means. Matt is still despite being on Dynamite, still struggling with the darkness in his mind. Wardlow reminds himself that Matt is clean, that Matt even sent him photos right before Dynamite of his thighs showing the healing cuts.
I mean…the photos he sent weren’t for that purpose but…
Wardlow groans and mentally smacks himself because of that thought. The cruel voices in his head have died down, but they’re still honest to a painful and embarrassing degree. He pulls up the messages to read through the conversation, and to totally not look at the photo again. When he can’t help but notice a string of very unhinged and drunken texts, that Wardlow must have sent to Matt after Dynamite. The larger man thought he passed out right after Dynamite ended, but the timestamps on these messages say otherwise. He sighs, beginning to read the texts. Bracing himself for any embarrassment past Wardlow had caused.
Wardlow: Great job baby! Looked so sexiiii ;)
Matt: Thanks darling, I did do it for a special someone…
Wardlow: Oh you <3
Matt: Just wish you were here so I could cuddle you rn
Bennett wants to watch shitty Hallmark movies AGAIN!!!!
Wardlow: Oh GOD a FATE WORSE THAN DEATH XD
Wardlow looks at the start of the conversation, chuckling at the idea of Mike holding his boyfriend hostage, for the sake of festive schlock. Forcing him to watch another brunette fall in love with a guy in plaid, and save their small town bakery from closing or some bullshit. He sees a gap in the messages, assuming the whiskey was depleting rapidly during the silence. When Wardlow messages again.
Wardlow: Mattyyyyy, why do u luv me? I’m nothing.
Matt: Babe? I love you for a billion and one reasons. My everything, my universe, you listen, you’re kind and strong. Also, being insanely hot helps ;)
But srsly bby. U ok?
Wardlow: When am I? Haha, I’m a fat useless pos who can’t even wrestle. Trapped in a shitty house, that my slobby ass can’t even move to clean. Baby can I be honest?
Matt: Of course babe, and you are none of those things btw.
Wardlow: If it wasn’t for you, right now I could be a human pinata…ok that was lowkey dark lol True, but fucked up :p
Matt: Michael, baby I will say the same to you. You saved me.
Wardlow: Nahhhh don’t be stupid. I’m like, the fucking woooorrrsssstttt!!! It’s why my family are avoiding me LIKE THE PLAGUE LOL
They’ve all fucked off and left meeee because I’m like such a shitty person. Like who would actually want to be related to me? Don’t blame them haha
The only thing I’m good for is being dead.
Matt: Baby, baby that’s not true. I love you so much, I know the holidays are difficult for you especially when you’re at home.
Sucks I’m not there sooner :(
Please, please stay.
Michael???
Babe??
Wardlow: I don’t deserve it. Night xx
Wardlow shudders at the messages, he looks at all the missed calls from Matt, mentally smacking himself for worrying his beloved so much. He checks his thighs and is relieved he didn’t relapse during the night in his drunken state. He takes some deep breaths, thinking about texting Matt an apology for the inconvenience and ruining his night. He sighs and rubs his face, writing and rewriting an apology for his beloved. When he’s interrupted by a knock at the door.
The man ponders what it could be especially on Thanksgiving of all days, praying to god it’s not Mormons again. Well, he could do what he did last time and drunkenly showed his scars, and that rightfully freaked them out. Whoever it is won’t stop knocking, so Wardlow groans and gets up to investigate who it is. Discarding his phone onto the bedside table, before making his way downstairs. As he opens the front door, he sighs. “Look, I'm not interested in your religion. God has already fucked me over a billion times and I really can’t be fuck- Matt?”
Matt stands at the door, tears welling in his eyes surrounded by dark circles. Wardlow notices Matt’s bags next to him, clearly full of gear from Dynamite. Still taken aback by the sight of his love right in front of him, he looks up to get a better look at Matt. His heart hurts as it looks like his love has had barely any sleep, if any at all. His eyes are bloodshot and full of worry, the Bostonian drops his bags and leaps into Wardlow’s arms. An oof coming from the larger man, as his love collides with his chest and his legs wrap around his waist.
“Michael…baby…my wolf, oh I’m so glad I’m here. I got here as soon as I could, and wanted to spend the holidays with you. Especially now, I love you my universe.” Matt rushes with a voice full of worry, peppering Wardlow with kisses between each breath. Making Wardlow feel so calm and safe, Wardlow rests his head in the crook of Matt’s neck and exhales a shuddering breath, as tears well up in his eyes. While he holds Matt’s legs tightly around his waist, keeping him secure.
“My everything…I need you.” Wardlow shivers, holding Matt so tight. Almost as if letting go would make his love disappear, and it would all be a memory. Matt eventually jumps down, still holding Wardlow’s head to his neck, a firm yet gentle grip that turns into comforting hair scratches at the nape of his neck. To assure his love that he is here, this is real and that he is safe. They stay like this in Wardlow’s doorway for a while, until Matt gently pulls away and kisses him softly, before revealing a big white carrier bag.
“Me too baby, me too. Now um…I made a detour and got Chinese food from that place you suggested on the way here.” Matt sheepishly coos, holding up the bag. Wardlow smiles softly, his stomach growls loudly which causes a blush to grace his cheeks. Matt giggles, somehow knowing without Wardlow even telling him that he had not really been eating, or that his breath stank of alcohol so he needed food in his system. The trashier, the better. So Chinese food, ideal choice.
They head inside, Matt taking his bags straight to Wardlow’s room while Wardlow is hot on his heels. Even after a few house visits, Wardlow is still conscious about how messy his house can get during his depressive episodes. But regardless Matt, like always, doesn't draw attention to it or judges him for it. Instead, he places his bags next to the dresser in his bedroom and grabs one of Wardlow’s hoodies to put on. Wardlow purrs and nuzzles Matt before kissing him on the cheek, noticing how despite them being similar heights Wardlow’s hoodies are still fairly large on the smaller man. Matt blushes at the gesture before turning to the nightstand. He sees the two empty bottles of Johnnie Walker black label and Wardlow’s discarded phone, smiling softly as he hands Wardlow his phone and looks at the bottles.
“Y’know, since we started dating you really developed actual taste. Remember when you drank Fireball and Kool Aid because there was no mixer in the hotel room?” Matt teases, Wardlow playfully slaps his shoulder at the memory.
“Nu uh, I did it for two reasons. One, for science. Two, because the very cute boy I was seeing at the time dared me to do it.” Wardlow smiles, wiggling his eyebrows and tickling Matt’s sides. Matt giggles, swatting Wardlow’s hands and leaves the room, a sigh of relief escaping Wardlow’s mouth as they head downstairs and towards the neglected Chinese food, left on the kitchen island.
Matt grabs the containers out of the bag, and without saying a word, goes to reheat the food in order to salvage it to some extent. Wardlow walks over to the kitchen and kisses Matt’s temple. His lips lingering there, Matt purring at the affection. The larger man then rests his hands on Matt’s waist, slightly squeezing, anchoring himself to his love and reality. Matt melts under the touch of his lover’s hands, gently yet firmly holding him in place.
“Baby…my sweet wolf.” Matt purrs, turning around to kiss his love gently. Missing the touch of his lips, even though they kissed in his doorway not even an hour ago. That man could have Wardlow’s lips on his forever, and he would never complain. Once he has Wardlow’s love, he never wants to let it go. They stay like that for what feels like forever and not long enough at the same time, when the beeping of the microwave brings both men back to earth. Matt turns back around and pulls the takeout containers out, taking great care to make sure they’re good to go and grabbing cutlery before turning to Wardlow.
“Come on babe! Was thinking about movies and snuggles?” Matt suggests with a soft smile. Wardlow looks into Matt’s eyes, and sees nothing but love for him. Wardlow nods and lets Matt lead the way to his couch, helping Matt with all the boxes and placing them on the coffee table. Matt grabs all the blankets he can get his hands on, including a very tacky blanket of three wolves howling at the moon that Matt HAD to get his love. A blanket that Wardlow always wraps himself with, when the days feel unbearable.
Once Matt is satisfied with the nest of blankets, Wardlow joins him and they tuck in to the various containers of food. He notices how Matt always feeds him small bites, knowing full well that Matt has once again clocked onto him not eating or eating very little. Matt always takes care of Wardlow in very small, but meaningful ways. So Wardlow returns the favour by feeding Matt some bites and kissing his forehead after every couple bites or so. Matt happily takes the bites, and kisses as they go.
After a while, the takeout boxes are stacked up on the coffee table and moved to the side to be dealt with later. Matt is curled up into Wardlow’s side as Wardlow looks at movies to watch. Every movie suggested is a goddamn Hallmark movie, green and red all over the screen with the same straight couple over, and over again. Matt bursts out laughing.
“For fuck’s sake! Bennett is HAUNTING MY ASS!” Matt exclaims with fake annoyance, a dramatic groan is added and he hides his face in the wolf blanket which makes Wardlow chuckle. He kisses Matt’s head, gently rubbing it with his free hand and goes to pull up his list of movies on Netflix, deciding on an old favourite of Wardlow’s. John Wick.
“Seriously?! Again?! Babe, I’ve seen this like…a bajillion gazillion times!” Matt dramatically groans again, fake collapsing face first onto Wardlow’s chest. Wardlow chuckles again, the sound vibrating in his chest and making Matt giggle, thus dropping the act. Wardlow puts the remote down and gently plays with Matt’s curls for a while. Matt melts and purrs, his face still very much in Wardlow’s large and muscular chest.
“Hey baby? Not like you have any better ideas for a movie to watch? Besides, I’ll be too focussed on snuggling with the cutey next to me.” Wardlow coos softly, Matt giggling and going bright pink at the pet name. He tilts his head up ever so slightly so that he is now facing Wardlow, looking into his deep brown eyes and eventually the pink gracing his cheeks fades. Matt sighs and relents.
“Ok! Ok! Fine, we’ll watch John Wick again…at least it’s not a shitty Hallmark movie. I’ve seen enough of them already.” Matt says with a smirk, cuddling up into Wardlow’s side as Wardlow pulls up the movie. He puts it on, discarding the remote onto the coffee table and pulls Matt closer to him. Matt rests his head on Wardlow’s chest, facing the screen while Wardlow rubs Matt’s back.
As the familiar movie drones on, a comforting warmth next to his side. Wardlow really starts to wonder, for the first time probably since he was a kid. That the holidays might actually be alright this time.