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tattoos like armor

Summary:

Jinx mourns Isha and contemplates suicide on the bridge. But maybe Ekko helps her realize she does deserve happiness.

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She laughed. Just flat out laughed. Not in her usual endearing or chaotic way when she's blowing people's heads off with her gun. Neither was it in her usual morning way when she almost set fire to the pancakes on her portable stove where Isha clapped and played nearby. It most certainly wasn't a laugh where Isha and her danced together or drew together or did each other's nails with valuable polish Jinx would steal from rich snobby women in the upper city.

 

Most certainly not.

 

Because under this still moon right now. Where Jinx's soles of her feet teeter between life or death, walking on the bridge's edge. She feels like shit.

 

It was her forced laugh. Energyless. Full of sorrow, and tiredness; tiredness just dripped into her bones. Like a heavy weight. The Pilt River's wide and vast length was enough to end it all. She thought it necessary. Fitting. Everything just felt so heavy. The upward curves of her mouth faded in on themselves. Like if a turtle retreated into its shell from the world. Cutting itself off from the rest of the pain that was reality. But she was no turtle. Only a person. A hollow shell of a human, with explosive blue tattoos on half her body worn like armor.

 

The armor no longer worked.

 

Was it ever really armor, she wonders. It was more like a reminder. Of her actions; of what she'd done that day, way back then. And now? She's just done it again.

 

"Oh Isha..." a single tear dripped down her cheek yet again, falling into the ocean.

 

Blue like Isha. Jinx wished to re-meet her. To join her. Paint themselves in the same shade once more.

 

She was a little surprised she still had any tears left in her.

 

"Maybe in a different life..." she says slowly "...I wouldn't have been such a Jinx."

 

The veil of night envelopes her. Dark like her thoughts. No one would ever even know she would be gone.

 

"Maybe in a different lifetime I wouldn't break everything, and I could be happy..."

 

She looks up at the lifeless moon before her. Whispering to herself, one last time.

 

"Maybe in a different lifetime..."

 

Jinx looks down at the Pilt River's strong waves. It would muffle her screams, like she wanted. Drown out her sorrow and pain. Finally an end to an ends.

 

"It doesn't have to be a different lifetime. What about this lifetime?"

 

She inhaled sharply, thinking she were alone. Spotting the man — the familiar voice — directed at her just a distance away.

 

He's bleeding, from his shoulder, and clutching at the spot. Wounded from battle, including a weakened leg.

 

"I don't care anymore, Ekko." Jinx closes her eyes, looking straight ahead at her path she has decided already. "Leave me be. I don't even deserve peace."

 

"Po— Jinx. Please, no."

 

"I only crave the most painful death."

 

She steps forward. Meeting nothing beneath her feet, allowing herself to succumb, into a fast freefall. To be hugged by the darkness below. The hand that reached out to her must have just barely missed. The last thing she hears is his shouting for her, getting farther away. Until the splash breaches through, and she begins sinking rapidly. Water entering her nose and mouth at an alarming rate. She didn't even try to swim with her arms.

 

All she was met with was pitch darkness.

 

She must have gone to heaven. Nothing but the hug of death. Wrapped around her in shadows, she walks aimlessly in this realm of nothingness. Not a single light source here. Fog at her ankles. Jinx grows suspicious. Feeling a familiar presence. She turns around, her heart accelerating at the sight.

 

"Isha?"

 

A faded, see-through child stands before. Smiling at her. The usual helmet. It was her. It really was her.

 

She was close. Yet far.

 

"Isha!" Jinx ran to her.

 

With the burst of energy she did not know she still had. Her legs weighed her down, like if bricks and cement bags trailed behind her tied to her legs.

 

"Isha! Isha it's me!" she cried. "Isha I love you so much, please!"

 

Isha shook her head 'no'.

 

Jinx ignored the warning. As she kept trying for the life of her — the human in her — to keep trying. This hollowed shell, whom desperately tried to be anything but that in this moment.

 

Isha motions with her hands.

 

Do.

 

Not.

 

Follow.

 

Me.

 

Why was she signaling that. Why was she telling Jinx that. Jinx didn't understand. Sobbing her lungs out. Reaching a hand out with all her might. Just almost making it. As Isha slowly walked backwards. Jinx falls to her knees. Heaving and puffing. Gasping for air. She so desperately wanted to breathe but could not.

 

Isha's getting away. She's getting farther.

 

It was like Isha didn't want Jinx to follow her. Jinx wanted to understand her better. In all this cruel world of black and grey. Isha's light slowly started fading. Isha smiled one last time, waving goodbye to her, as happy as can be, before slowly stepping into the shadows and disappearing forever.

 

Jinx screamed for her. Called for her. Pleaded for her. Over and over.

 

Like a crushing weight of her heart overtook her. She gasped for air. Spent out and wasted all her strength. Collapsing. As the fog crept up her neck like water. All it had to do was swallow her hole. Jinx accepted it. Closing her eyes.

 

.. and reopened them.

 

Coming back into the real world.

 

What the hell happened. There was Isha. She swears she saw her. And now...

 

As she begins to get more sense into her. She looks around. Feeling heavy all over her body. She can't get up. But she feels sand beneath her. As if her body were laying on a beach; a shoreline. The sounds of waves gently crashing ashore just a few feet away. It's only now that she fully processes.

 

The weight. Of her body.

 

The weight. Of another's.

 

A human touch.

 

Ekko was unconscious. One of his arms on her waist, and half his chest, on hers. She sees the bleeding intensified. Staining crimson into the sand. He must have opened the wound pretty hard.

 

Tears pool at her eyes.

 

"You're so... dumb..... Ekko. Saving trash like me."

 

She turns her head slightly to face his. Noticing his eyelids squeezing shut and opening a tad awake. His parted lips mumbling.

 

His voice so tender. To the point, and warm.

 

"Who..." she knows he's in so much physical pain, but he doesn't show it. "...Is Isha?" he asks.

 

Jinx didn't say anything. Not much of anything.

 

For two whole days.

 

She's laying in her lair when Ekko approaches her for the dozenth time. He has no shirt on, with his shoulder wrapped in bandages. He must have changed the old ones. He never knows when to give up, and it irks her. He never knows when to just leave things as they are. But instead he's cooked for her. Tried talking to her. She's felt bad enough. Guilty. That he hurt himself for her.

 

To save the Jinx of Jinxes. The Curse of Curses. He must have a death wish himself.

 

Ekko only smiles in a subtle way. Friendly. To show he means no harm. She can tell he's a bit worried for her. A lot worried for her. Only looking out for her.

 

She sighs heavily.

 

That's when he sits down in front of her as she sits up now, and she notices he has something in his hand. He slides the book over, closer towards her. Into the space between them. The little book is burnt at the edges, and he notices how she tenses at the sight. With water pooling in the corners of her eyes.

 

"I found it. Somewhere in all the debris," he explains.

 

She burned it down. Burned it all down that night. Her home — the Last Drop bar. Right before trying to end her life.

 

Isha would draw in her coloring book all the time, even at the bar, and of course Jinx would only ever give her juice. The tears start pouring down. As Jinx shakily reaches out for it, opening the first page. It's all mostly burned to a crisp. But some parts still eligible. Some parts still shown, of Isha's colorful drawings. The colorful, wonderful things she brought to life, with just her small hands. Jinx keeps flipping the pages gradually. One by one. Tears dripping onto the scribbled canvas of pages. Many doodles of her and Jinx. Their names written all over the booklet.

 

Her feelings of original annoyance towards him drooped. Into a melted gratefulness, as she hugged the open coloring book close to her chest. Like if she were hugging Isha herself. The sounds of her sobs filling the silence.

 

Thank you, she mouthed.

 

"Thank you," she repeated with heartfelt words.

 

The physical appearance of his shoulders relaxed. Ekko's gentle smile and nod.

 

"Of course."

 

She needed a minute to fully grieve. To fully, and sincerely, cry everything out. She thought everything of Isha was lost in this world. But a bit still remained. Oh sweet little Isha. To be cherished and held. She feels she is undeserving. Yet it's in her hands.

 

Jinx noticed in delay now, how Ekko slowly wrapped his arms around, hugging her. Jinx cried into his shoulder. Cried her little heart out. Time seems to stand still. As she feels just a tad safer. The sobs shudder through her body. But at least this filling of warmth from another person helps her in this moment. For a good hour, she feels he understands, letting her heal. And she even apologizes for wetting his bandages once sniffling and pulling away.

 

"I'm so sorry. You're hurt there. That must have put you in more pain right now. I'm so—"

 

"It doesn't hurt. Don't be hard on yourself," Ekko smiled reassuringly.

 

"But what about—"

 

"And before you even start, no, I refuse your apology. Because there's nothing to apologize for."

 

"The bridge. And I just.." she speaks. "You swam for me. Dragging me through the river. You could have gotten yourself killed."

 

"Nah, I'm a good swimmer."

 

He was not. Neither of them were.

 

"I'm not the same little kid who kept drowning in a pool, you know," Ekko laughed. "I'm a good swimmer now. Trust me."

 

But still.

 

She knows. She knows it must have hurt. To go against the tide of waves, dragging the both of them, resurfacing himself for air above the water. All with a bleeding wound, and..

 

"How's your leg?"

 

"I can walk," he casually says.

 

"I'm being serious, Ekko. Your leg hurts, doesn't it?"

 

"I'm also very serious, Jinx." He counters. "You can trust me. I'm healed. These were just physical wounds. Now it's.." his mouth is agape, before he closes it, never finishing his sentence.

 

Now it's her turn to heal.

 

She hadn't realized how wounded she truly was. Not physically. But on the inside. Do such wounds truly heal. Is such thing truly possible. Maybe not fully.

 

But with time.

 

She looks up at Ekko. Her words caught in her throat. He hasn't changed a bit. Just the same down to earth guy, who's so transparent, as he's always been. She was the one who wasn't fully transparent.

 

Jinx hesitates. Parting her lips.

 

"She was an orphan."

 

Ekko is surprised at her sudden words. He blinks gently. Nodding in assurance, to show he is listening.

 

Days pass. She had told him everything. Poured her heart out to him. Of Isha's radiance. And her beaming grins. The way she would follow Jinx everywhere like a little duckling whose mom she had found. Isha was the ray of sunshine she wanted to protect. And indeed, life really was like that for a while. Jinx remembers laughing. With her. Dancing with her. Singing to her. On certain nights, she would do Isha's hair, in just the special way that Isha liked. Ekko nodded attentively, and laughed, as Jinx acted out Aunt Sevika's groans whenever her and Isha would cause commotion. Or how her and Isha were the best sharpshooting duo in town. Or how Isha would hug Jinx from the front so abruptly. Jinx remembers being like an ice cold wall at first with her, but only to then gradually open up to Isha. Accepting her hugs and affection and star-eyed wonder and love and— just everything.

 

"Is this what she looked like?" Ekko turns his sketch notebook over to her, much to Jinx's gasp.

 

"How did you..." Jinx touches the drawing. It was so accurate. Scary accurate.

 

Like bringing life... from nothingness. Jinx could cry.

 

"You talk about her so much," Ekko says, "with such incredible memory. And vivid detail. So..."

 

So he sketched her.

 

"I could finish it up for you if you'd like?" he offers.

 

Jinx hesitated again. Does she really deserve such a thing. Such happiness. Such... such—

 

"Jinx." His voice snaps her out of it.

 

"Huh?"

 

"It's okay to be happy," it's like he was reading her mind. Or maybe her thoughts were worn on her expression. "I promise," he reassures.

 

She nods slowly, placing her trust in him.

 

The following morning he presented it to her as a gift. The final art piece.

 

A fully drawn Isha, of her smiling face, with such colorful hues and shades.

 

Jinx broke down on the spot.

 

Not from sorrow. But from the genuine gratefulness — the sincere happiness — from the bottom of her heart.

 

"Here, let me pin it up for you," Ekko got a ladder, stepping up on it to try and frame it somewhere in Jinx's lair.

 

Days would go in and out like this. Pretty soon her whole lair, its entire circumference, was decorated in Ekko's arts. His wonderful art pieces. Of wonderful Isha.

 

"You draw so beautifully," Jinx says one day.

 

Ekko popped his head up from his sketchbook.

 

"Hmm? Really?"

 

"Yes. I really mean it."

 

Ekko grinned, that wonderful grin of his, that made Jinx's heart skip a beat. In the way she remembers, from the older days. That feeling she describes as 'the feeling of fun.' He really hasn't changed too much. Physically, he's changed. But on the inside, he's still her best friend, with slight differences. People evolve. Into much more beautiful versions of themselves. Jinx wonders, if she can change too. Little by little. What makes her Jinx. And what makes her Powder. The circumstances, perhaps? Are Jinx and Powder really all that different to begin with, at their core?

 

It was nice talking to him. Catching up with an old friend.

 

Ekko rips out the sketch piece. Handing it to her like if it were just easy to him — all these art pieces — like breathing. With the flick of an art utensil.

 

Her heart filled with warmth upon gasping.

 

A picture of her and Isha. Together.

 

"You know, sometimes I like tracing them?" she explains that night.

 

"Hmm?" he's almost asleep, covered in his own blanket. They're separated by some space between themselves.

 

"My tattoos," she clarifies. "The blue clouds on half of my body. They're like a reminder. I trace them with my finger. To remember my past mistake. Of when I messed up the mission in saving my dad, it led to incidents. This mistake. I wore it like armor."

 

Ekko tosses and turns, now facing her. Listening.

 

But she says nothing more. Silence filling in the gaps.

 

Maybe she was just a weirdo.

 

"I should have been there. That day," Ekko suddenly says.

 

Jinx is caught off guard. Wondering what he means.

 

"It's because.. I gave you guys the knowledge of Jayce, and..." Ekko's brows furrow. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. Maybe things could have been different. Turned out differently. I regret not being there. For Vi, for your siblings, and... you."

 

"That wasn't your fault Ekko."

 

"Then it wasn't your fault either."

 

"But I..."

 

"How could you have known? What would happen? Our cities had such little experience with magic. It's so alien to us. So how could you have known what would happen? And it's not like you meant for any of that to happen in the way it did. It was an accident. You were just trying to help. You were just a kid. We were just kids..."

 

Jinx laid there in the dark. Clinging onto every word of his. Even though he said nothing more. Not that he needed to.

 

Somehow. Deep down. She knows his words to be true. And she cherishes them with such warmth, close to her chest. Tears slipping off her face. As she silently cried herself to sleep.

 

When awoke that following morning, she found her body closer. Closer to Ekko's. Whose face was just right next to hers as he slept.

 

The beating in her chest was unusually louder.

 

Jinx got up on her feet.

 

And cooked breakfast for them both this time. It was a wonderful breakfast too. As she enjoyed seeing him smile to her offering. He even gave compliments to her pancakes, and she even makes a mean egg too.

 

Unfortunately time was cut short.

 

As Firelight news of Noxus informed them of Ambessa's whereabouts. All of Piltover and Zaun had been fighting her in small battles here and there. But she was rumored to be gathering a larger, more intense army of followers from her home region. They were said to be flying in anywhere in the next following days.

 

And just like that. Jinx's happy little reunion with Ekko had to come to a creeping halt. Not quite fully halted yet.

 

"I need to ask you a question, and this might be weird but..."

 

Ekko tilted his head, wondering what she had to say. But he nodded his head and agreed to her request.

 

"Of course."

 

He smiled.

 

Even in times like these, somehow, they felt closer, sitting in two chairs facing one another. Their bodies like canvas. As Ekko's slow paint over her tattoo traced something new. Something alive. A creation from nothingness. Like he was always good at.

 

She looks into his eyes, as his furrowed concentration was on her arm instead.

 

Jinx found it hard to breathe. Not in a bad way. She cannot explain it. Although the proximity of Ekko's close face had her short of breath. She looks away. Only to find herself glancing at him again.

 

"Hmm." He squints. "Do you like it?"

 

A Firelight symbol. Green, like his hoverboard.

 

She smiled.

 

"Don't tell me, I'm?"

 

"An honorary Firelight member," he grinned.

 

She laughed.

 

"Me? Of all people?"

 

"Yes you. Of all people. It has to be you."

 

"Has to?" she repeated, slightly affected at the way he said it. What did he mean by that.

 

"Everyone loves you."

 

Her face lit up at the idea of being accepted by such a community.

 

"I don't know..."

 

"Don't you remember how you saved fellow Zaunites from jail? Or how people rally around you? They love you. Don't doubt yourself." He refocuses on the new symbol on her arm. "Do you know what they call you by any chance?" he says as he takes her arm in hand again.

 

"No, what?"

 

His next symbol tells her everything.

 

"Zaun's royalty."

 

A bright golden crown, just above her Firelight symbol.

 

"Perfect," he smiles, proud of himself.

 

"Zaun's royalty?" she laughs again. "That has to be a joke. I'm not royalty of anything."

 

"But you are. Believe it or not."

 

"Well if I'm Zaun's royalty, then you must be—" she stops herself.

 

If she were royalty, then he must be too. He is the leader of the well-respected Firelights after all. He's been here saving people even before her. His hard work doesn't go unnoticed by her.

 

"Must be what?" he asks innocently.

 

"Ah, nothing."

 

Ekko proceeds to adjust his position, opting for a manbun on the back of his head. He seems more serious this time. Continuing across her body like if she were a painting needing to be finished by him. Jinx feels the heat on the back of her neck, as she gives him more access to her.

 

It's an odd situation. She knows. One that makes her tense up.

 

It's not like the Great Jinx to tense up.

 

It tingles on her skin. Sends shivers up her spine. His touch.

 

"Let me know when you're done."

 

"An artist must be thorough with his work. Very thorough," his jaw clenches handsomely, as he adjusts the finest details.

 

She quietly observes him. His face. Admiring the view. And not his technique.

 

"Is that so?" she says.

 

"Mhm," he hums.

 

"We're going to war, you know?"

 

"Then, as Zaun's royalty, we must have you fully armored up," he smiles up at her, a small glance, with their eyes locking for a moment that makes her breath hitch, right before he goes back to artistry. "The more tattoos, the better."

 

"They aren't real tattoos," she scoffs.

 

"True. So that means you must want many of my tattoos. New ones, every day?" he smirks up at her for a second.

 

Is he? Flirting? Maybe she's reading too much into it.

 

Butterflies in the pit of her stomach tingle regardless.

 

She instantly pulls away from the nervousness.

 

"Well then it's only fair that you have armor too, isn't it?" she grabs a can of spray and casually draws a big pink x-mark over his chest, Ekko wide-mouthed at the new marking.

 

"Hey—" he laughed.

 

"Just giving you new armor. Come on, fair is fair."

 

Ekko quirks a curious brow. Opening his arms wide to allow access.

 

"Alright then."

 

"This is war after all. We can never be too ready," she bites her lip in concentration, spraying all types of colors on him one after the other in quick succession.

 

"Do you give all your other friends armor too?" he teases.

 

She almost drops the can, quickly leaning forward and low to grab it. Catching it mid-air before it clattered to the floor.

 

Now that she thinks about it. If she were to step outside. What were people to think? A Firelight symbol with a crown on her arm? She might as well say she's taken by him at this point. She nearly flushes a rosy red but calms down inwardly before it gets to that point.

 

When she rises back up to look him in the eye, their faces are too close. Both of them freezing in place. Her lips a mere inch away from his.

 

If she breathed, maybe he could feel the ghost of her touch on his lips.

 

Her eyes flickered up to his.

 

The magnetic connection was impossible to cut. She felt like his eyes were windows to his soul. Open and readable. Yet not many people quite knew him like she did. She would be the first of firsts. Not really knowing what came over her. Though it's not like he was exactly pulling away either. She finds herself gravitating towards him. Unable to resist.

 

Kissing him softly.

 

So softly she inhaled sharply.

 

Feeling Ekko's hand suddenly on her cheek, deepening the kiss.

 

Her heart's pounding in her ear drums. Like if she were waiting for him to do so all her life. With such lightness to her shoulders. The feather-like weight. Not even clouds were on par to this comfortable feeling of— She pulled away hastily in her mid-thought. Eyes widened. What was she thinking.

 

Ekko's shocked too. His mouth still slightly open as if he were at a standstill.

 

Jinx balls her fist into his shirt suddenly. Pulling him in again.

 

Kissing him with such intensity. He moans into her lips, the vibrations sending her brain into a light fuzz. As he shifts his lips with added soft friction. He was an amazing kisser.

 

The sudden shout from a fellow Firelight Zaunite echos through the lair; the man didn't see what was happening, but was informing them quickly of Noxus's advancement before hurriedly leaving. Ekko and Jinx break apart and are out of their seats in a zap. Jinx's covering her mouth frantically, still feeling the lingering effects of Ekko on her bottom lip, brushing the spot with her thumb with such subtleness.

 

"The war! Right!" she quickly turns around. "We need to prepare!"

 

"Oh! That's true! I..." he thinks of something. "My hoverboard! I need my hoverboard," quickly zooming across the lair to go get it.

 

"We need to rally Zaun!" Jinx quickly thinks, though when she steps to a side she trips over the can of spray then quickly gets up like nothing happened.

 

The war. Against Noxus. They're going to war.

 

Jinx can't think straight, her body hot all over and dizzy out of her mind. She pressed and smudged her upper and bottom lip together, savoring the taste.

 

Somehow, deep down, she knows the war is the least of her magical problems.