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A Series of Bad Ideas

Chapter 6: Idea 6: Reinvent Electricity

Summary:

Minato does not know the Periodic Table. Elizabeth gets a cookie. Igor is on fire.

Chapter Text

Ryoji kept a close eye on Minato. Well, as close of an eye he could, given he didn’t exist during the normal day. He’d paid the stalker guy from Club Escapade to do it instead. With Minato’s money.

When he’d confronted Ryoji about it he responded “What’s mine is yours and what's yours is mine. We’re basically married at this point right?” Before fixing Minato with a stare that implied that the only correct answer was yes.

He’d begun calling himself Death’s Captive Husband since then. Ryoji merely replied that all of humanity was his captive at the end of the day. Apparently accidentally injecting antifreeze had made Ryoji finally reach his limit for Minato’s bullshit ideas. Ryoji at his limits was terrifying.

This had put an end to Minato’s more extreme escapades. He had decided to spend his time learning how to weave rugs. Ryoji couldn’t complain, and what else was there to do in a time loop but learn the most random skills possible?

Unfortunately, nothing could stop Ryoji’s bullshit ideas. This is why Minato found himself hauling random metal ingots to the Velvet room. Ryoji needed somewhere to store all of his equipment, and Igor couldn’t stop him from commandeering the local pocket dimension to do just that. 

Ryoji was determined to generate electricity during the Dark Hour, having complained that he hasn’t been able to use a light switch since the first time he was alive. They could have just waited for him to get his physical body later in the loop, but Minato had a remarkable knack for dying before then. 

Minato wasn’t sure when Ryoji had learned metallurgy or welding, but apparently he could do them. Actually getting the tools required a bit of theft, but since there was basically no one around during the Dark Hour, this was pretty easy. Once they’d realized this, they just started robbing banks instead of laundering money from the Kirijo Group every loop. Much harder to track.

The silvery ingot in Minato’s hands landed on the ground with a harsh ding as he dropped it. One thing he hated was that he had to regain his strength every single loop. You know how hard it was to get motivated about exercise when it literally couldn’t be permanent? There were only so many loops he could spend getting jacked just to mess with Akihiko before it got boring.

“Thanks Mina!” Ryoji cheerily shouted from behind his welding mask, a confusing looking machine assembled in front of him, sparks flying from his… welding rod? Welding stick? Whatever it was called. Honestly, rugs were more interesting. 

“You’re welcome.” Minato responded unironically. For all the terror Ryoji had put in him, he did owe him for putting up with all of his terrible ideas. He could help Ryoji with a few of his. He wasn’t sure what he needed Moldydenim or whatever the metal was called for, but if he wanted it he would have it. 

Minato turned towards Elizabeth and Igor. The long nosed man had the most depressed looking smile on his face, resigned to his fate as an observer to their madness. Elizabeth on the other hand looked excited as he pulled out a cookie from his back pocket to hand to her.

“Thank you! I have always wondered why only these are the miniature version of cooking. Surely every small meal is a ‘cook-ie,’ right?” Minato kept grabbing her random items he hadn’t given her before just to hear her reaction. Her mind went places he’d never imagine, a constant source of excitement in an increasingly repetitive world. If he was being honest, he’d probably done something cruel to every single one of his friends at this point, but Elizabeth was the exception. He hoped she liked chocolate chip, he made it himself.

While Elizabeth marvelled at the cookie, Minato turned back to Ryoji to observe how his work was going. Minato was no electrical engineer, but he was pretty sure you didn’t need that many spinning wheels to make power. Ryoji had also added such interesting attachments as a cuckoo clock, a gong, and a bust of Elvis made of chocolate.

He was beginning to think Ryoji had absolutely no clue what he was doing. But he looked pretty cool in the welders mask so Minato was content to watch, pulling out a cookie for himself to enjoy. 

Of course, nothing could be simple in their lives. Ryoji suddenly put his torch down, lifted his mask, gave an angelic smile, opened his mouth, and then was consumed by flame as the Velvet Room exploded. Unsurprisingly Minato perished soon after, the last image burned into his retina’s being a confused looking Elizabeth observing her now on-fire cookie.


Minato just stared at Ryoji at the station, waiting for his post-mortem analysis of that loop.

“Hmm. I think I needed more gongs.” Minato looked at him incredulously.

“Ryoji. That’s not how electricity works.” 

“If physics worked normally during the Dark Hour, I wouldn’t be having to do this. You have to think outside the box Minato! Feel the electricity in your soul!” He struck a dramatic pose, a hand over his heart, the other outstretched towards a dead street light.

Minato just shook his head and started towards the dorms, this would be a long few loops.


The next time he entered the Velvet Room, the first thing he noticed was that the handkerchief in Igor’s pocket was on fire. 


“Uhh, is it just always going to be like that?” He said, motioning towards the obvious anomaly in the otherwise unchanging space.

Igor’s lack of response was all he needed to know that they had finally made a permanent change between loops. Not an important one, but one nonetheless. 

Minato spent the rest of the loop trying to find out if he could set any other part of Igor on fire, while Igor just stared at Minato trying to pour gasoline on him with the same unblinking eyes.

Notes:

Why do I write the things I do?