Chapter Text
“What’d you get for 28?”
…silence.
“I wrote down something about a possible air purifier that could be installed in vents. Professor asked me to draw some stuff up after I mentioned it in class last week.” Pause. “It was messy and honestly the plans I put together suck, but it could work with some tweaks.”
…more silence.
“The math was a little more confusing this time around. Still can’t get the fluid mechanics stuff to stick.”
…crickets practically screamed from the rooftops.
“Okay.”
Ekko snatched Jinx’s phone from her hands, effectively and finally grasping her full attention. Annoyance sparked beneath her feet as a groan slipped past her lips, only fueling his sickeningly proud smirk. He held her phone like a trophy, dangling it near just to rip it away each time she drew near.
She gave up quickly, exhaustion too powerful of a drug in her system. She sighed, probing the side of her cheek with her tongue to keep the anger directed at something that wasn’t him. “Really? What are you, four?”
He shrugged, stuffing it in the pocket of his jeans despite her weak protests. “Pushing five, I’d argue. You gonna pay attention now or do you have another device I need to confiscate?”
The answer to that was always yes. Her other phone was in her bag, but telling him would result in a hoedown she wasn’t eager for at ten in the morning. She doubted her classmates would appreciate a wrestling match in the cafeteria while they tried to relax before their endless bouts of classes.
Besides, there was already one of those this morning. Two in a day was just unoriginal. She would never stoop to such a level of desperation to cause a scene.
Not that she would ever do such a thing.
“I was texting my dad,” she argued lightly, fitting her arms across her chest as she flexed her jaw silently, the dull ache like an old friend rushing to embrace her. She’d woken up more black than blue and spent 20 minutes brushing off her terribly horrified roommate. “He’s still pissed about last night.”
Ekko nodded earnestly, casting her a look that made her mouth dry. She noticed a bit of green paint on his jaw, a clear sign he probably didn’t get back to the school until long after she’d tucked herself in. “I know,” he said, shuffling forward to grab a tray, “he called me a little bit after you left.”
She slowly followed suit, wincing as her fingers slowly closed around the edge of the dark green tray. A fresh set of scabs had formed over her knuckles, rendering hands useless and shockingly itchy. Every twitch sent a wave of pure discomfort up and down her sore arms, adding to the pile of injuries she’d picked up only last night.
“What’d he say?” She wondered, trying to internalize the practiced bored expression she was wearing.
However.
She was deeply dreading running into any of her family today.
The sheer thought had kept her up painfully late last night. The thoughts refused to diminish, and with that came the unnerving urge to do something about it.
But what is there to be done about your own head?
Ekko shrugged, grabbing a chocolate muffin absently like he did it every morning.
What the…
Ekko didn’t like chocolate muffins. Actually, he hated the school's chocolate muffins. He said, and these were his words, that it tasted like burnt mud mixed with sand.
So why he was going for his version of a construction sight special was beyond her… but her days were weird enough. She refused to let him mix them up anymore.
She took the muffin from his hand, leaning past him to grab the blueberry one he always ate and tossed it onto his tray.
He raised an eyebrow at her, drawing away slightly like just breathing the fruit would kill her. “You’re allergic,” he reminded her and she snorted, ushering him along with a wiggle of her fingers.
“I’ll only shrivel up and die if I consume it, genius. It’s not like we’re going to be making out anytime soon. Eat the muffin.”
A light pink dusted his cheeks and she smiled smugly. “It’s not polite to eat something someone else can’t have right in front of them,” he chided, pushing past her teasing.
She narrowed her eyes at him. “Since why do you care about being polite?”
“The hell?” He grumbled, clearly offended. He grabbed a wrapped breakfast sandwich and handed it to her, his poised smile apparent, “I’m a polite guy.”
Yeah right. And Jinx didn’t have paint beneath her nails.
“Mhm,” she scoffed and took it, ignoring the fact that this wasn’t the one she usually ate. “I don’t buy it,” she said as she added an apple to her tray. She backed away from the line, faltering slightly at the growing amount of people before sighing and forcing herself through. Ekko was hot on her heels, offering everyone smiles and greetings as his growing popularity shone like a sun around both of them.
How it happened, she had no idea. One day they were two of the newest students at Zaun, outcasts in a room full of outcasts, and the next, Ekko knew everybody. Got along with everybody might be a better way to phrase it. His cheery nature and carefree demeanor was addicting.
Jinx was just another victim to it.
She shivered when a hand grazed her back, her body instantly twisting away from it. A distinct and strange coldness washed over her and a bitter taste warmed her mouth, dying her skin a faint pink.
An unavoidable accident in a crowded space, but still one that left her careening just as much as it had the first time.
She dropped her tray on the table, sinking down as her muscles relaxed. The tension in her shoulders melted away and she leaned her head back against the chair, softly sighing.
The dull echo of the buzzing cafeteria was like background noise, putting her frantic mind at ease. It was like someone turned the volume down or gave her noise cancelling headphones.
Huh. If she actually had headphones on, she would be losing it.
She was a walking paradox.
Ekko slid into the seat across from her, the other two seats noticeably empty.
She busied herself with unwrapping her muffin, an easy silence falling between them as he opened the weird teal-colored energy drink he loved.
She tried it once last year. It tasted insane, like a cloud or something. Really light and airy in a way, vague hints of peaches and coconut mixed in throughout. It was good, but it like activated this part of your brain that’s normally dormant. It’s meant to help with studying, but it just opened up a shit ton of ideas for her.
She built some interesting things that day. Needless to say, she wasn’t allowed to drink them anymore.
“So this new personality, I have to ask, was it Ezreal,” she probed, unashamedly gleeful when he groaned. “Are you trying to impress him? Am I the test dummy? Don’t tell me that all that practice flirting you two did finally did the trick? - to be honest with you, I don’t think kindness is a turn on for him.”
He kicked her in the shin and she hissed, throwing the ball of saran wrap at his head. He easily dodged it, smiling smugly as he took a bite of his muffin.
Ungrateful ass.
The bitch wouldn’t even have it if not for her…
She pursed her lips and leaned against the wooden chair. It was cold against the skin of her bare arms, firing up that familiar tingling sensation as her body worked to warm her up again. She dragged her fingernails against the grain, admiring the swirls and lines along the wood as noise swelled around her.
Free therapy at its finest.
“I’m not trying to impress Ezreal,” he said his name like it was an insult. Jinx chuckled and made a mental note to mention that to Ezreal the next time she saw him. “Or anyone, for that matter.”
She didn’t believe that. “Come on Little Man, you know you don’t need to impress me , I love you for being shitty just the way you are,” she joked dryly.
If dramatic eye rolls was an event in the Olympics, homeboy would’ve won. “Please, all I need to do to impress you is change your tires.”
True that.
Oh, he probably needed to do that after last night's… adventures.
She nodded slowly, taking a bite of her sandwich to replace the sticky taste of dread on her tongue at the thought of the chase. She shivered, chewing methodically as she counted each passing second, tapping her finger to match the rhythm of the clock ticking in her head.
Tick . Tap. Tock. Tap.
Tick. Tap. Tock. Tap.
Tick. Tap. Tock. Tap.
“You cool, Blue?”
She adopted a smile and her eyes met with the boys across from her.
Be calm and collected.
“The coolest. Yup. Practically ice over here man, it’s getting, uh… pretty—chilly?”
Her forced laughter was so weak and strained she knew he could see through it, maybe even see through the facade she had up.
All you collected was a ticket to crazy town dumbass, she mentally chided with a wince as she carefully lowered her sandwich.
“The coolest,” he repeated slowly.
Yeah, it sounded way worse hearing it the second time around.
“What’s with the manners?” She asked again, ears burning crimson with embarrassment. “So out of nowhere for you. Last week you would’ve slipped a blueberry in my eggs. You going soft on me?”
He didn’t believe her cover up. He was stiff, head tilted ever-so-slightly to the left, blank expression crawling across his face. He wasn’t used to easing into pretend casualness like she was. It threw him off, no matter how many times she’d done it, and she knew.
They both did.
They just never talked about it.
She wore a mask around everyone, exposing different parts of herself to different people. Time had made her more comfortable around him. The ability she had to relax around him even when the whispers inside were screams made it that way.
He was different. He was family.
She just actually liked being around him.
Funny how stuff like that works.
Her turn to get his attention. “Little Man?”
He blinked, snapping out of whatever vortex he’d been sucked into with a startling smile. “Sorry, lost in my thoughts.”
Know the feeling.
“You can’t make fun.”
“Since when have I ever?” She mused with a small smile.
That was good. It put him a little more at ease. Her being ‘her’ helped.
Okay. She could do that.
She mirrored him, breaking a chunk off her muffin and popping it in her mouth. Ugh. He was right. It tasted thick and was a pain to chew, but she managed, focusing on every motion.
This has to be what chewing cement is like.
“Benzo made me read a book.”
Jinx blinked, muffin forgotten.
“Pardon?”
“No fucking way you just said pardon .”
“You read a book about manners ,” she gave him a mocking one-over, “and are actually trying to implement them. My ‘pardons’ can be excused.”
To be fair, that was the point.
He threw his hands up. “You literally just said you wouldn’t make fun!”
Jinx used the moment of weakness to lean across the table and snatch his apple. She ignored his feeble protests and took a bite, chewing the sweet fruit smugly. “Yeah, that was until I realized you read a book on how to be more like a Piltie.”
He cocked his head slightly, dreadlock falling against his cheek as he smirked. “Please, didn’t you walk home with one last night?”
She stilled.
Smile gone.
Apple was no longer sweet.
White was no longer her base color.
Welp.
Fuck.
Said ‘Piltie’ flashed in her mind and she cursed every vessel inside her as she reached up to rub her temples, trying to hide her face from Ekko’s peering eyes. She sank down a little lower into her seat, taking another bite of her apple as she looked away from him sullenly.
She knew she shouldn’t have told him about that.
Did she deserve that? Oh, abso-fucking-lutely.
Didn’t mean she appreciated it any more.
He leaned his elbows on the table, resting his hand in his face as his perfect smile gleamed at her forlorn frown. “You enjoyed your little walk, didn’t ya?”
Lux, Lux, Lux.
“Shut the fuck up. I was being nice.”
“Since when are you nice?”
Lux. Lux. Lux.
For the past 10 hours, that name flitted around her consciousness and entangled with the voices like a spider catching prey in a web. It was the weirdest sensation, but then again, everything about their interaction was weird.
As angry as she had initially been, all it had taken was that defiant tongue to snap back at her for her resentment to fade. Lux wasn’t what Jinx had expected her to be and maybe that was the appeal. Maybe that was what was driving her crazy.
Quaint blond girl wasn’t what she thought she was. She thought she knew… and she didn’t?
She hit her with a candlestick for God’s sake. When she had turned around, Jinx expected maybe some crass words, maybe a couple insults thrown her way. A disgusted look or fuck, a visit with the Enforcers might’ve been more this girl’s speed.
Nothing could’ve prepared Jinx for Lumière’s mother to mistake her for Gaston and seek out revenge.
Last time I watch a Disney movie with Isha. Just made a fucking Beauty and the Beast reference.
Cait would be oh so proud.
Ekko tapped the table with his knuckles, raising an eyebrow when she drew her gaze back to him sluggishly. She itched to check her phone, she needed something to distract herself.
Tapping wood with her nails only did so much.
“That was a genuine question.”
“Yeah, and I gave you a genuine answer,” Jinx responded heatedly, hand drifting to cover the bruise lining her jaw. “Shut the fuck up.”
Despite the insult, the motion didn’t go unnoticed.
His attention shifted to the skin her fingers were failing to mask, “Where’d you get the bruise?”
She shrugged quickly (too quickly), gnawing at her bottom lip. “Hit my face against the steering wheel running from that cop,” she lied, the words flowing off her tongue so smoothly she wanted to pat herself on the back.
What a day to be a good liar.
No. Not just a good liar, an IMPECCABLE liar.
Perks of being perfect.
She would’ve believed it. Enough people did.
But Ekko was no idiot.
Today.
“I saw you afterwards,” he corrected with a grin, “you bore no bruise.”
Correction… downfall of being perfect.
“It’s a late-bloomer.”
“No, that was you.”
She gaped at him. “The fuck ?”
He shrugged absently, like he hadn’t just insulted her woman… hood? Ness? Being?
Whatever, it was one of those. Pick your favorite.
“Liar liar, Jinx’s pants are on fire.”
“What are we, middle schoolers?” She sneered, smoothing her perfectly ash-free sweatpants down.
He pouted, playing up his sorrow as he dramatically tossed his hair out of his face. “I thought we established this, I’m at least 5.”
Jinx rolled her eyes, “Please, my sister is more mature than you.”
“She has been hardened by those metal bars, so I would hope so. Plus, that bomb-ass back tat does wonders for maturity levels. She leveled up by like 20 points,” he pointed at the tattoos running up her arm, “arm tattoos are only 5. Weak ass.”
She flexed before she flipped him off, brass finger glinting in the sunlight. “I was talking about Isha, you dumb bitch.”
He wilted, threading his fingers before cracking his knuckles with an overexaggerated stretch. “Yeah, she’s definitely got me beat.”
“Doesn’t take much.”
“The FUCK ?”
❀
After Jinx had woken up that morning, two things were instantly apparent.
The first one was that her face hurt.
She hadn’t even opened her eyes yet before she groaned in misery. A dull ache settled nicely beneath her fingers as she’d stroked her jaw, desperately wishing for some of the pain to just settle.
When she finally managed to peel herself from the sheets and look in the mirror, all she could do was laugh.
Because the person staring back at her couldn’t be her. There was a bruise contorting her jaw, courtesy of a Piltie who was still alive and breathing. Completely unharmed. Probably within a 100 mile radius of her too.
Hell, Jinx WALKED HER TO HER DORM BUILDING.
So, clearly she wasn’t real.
Or she truly was deranged.
The mark was dark against her pale skin. There was no not noticing it, it stood out. Ekko saw her and exploded into laughter. She’d gotten so many precarious looks it was beginning to irk her to the point she was about to create a sign that said ‘YES I GOT MY SHIT ROCKED’. In flashing neon blue, no less.
Every word, every twitch, every touch sent a raging fire through her.
But with every word, every twitch, every touch, there was also Lux, Lux, Lux.
That seemed to sting a little more.
The second thing came in the form of an unsaved number.
Her alarm had gone off and she went through her normal routines, rushing to shut it off so she could snuggle back beneath her blanket, but something caught her eye.
She grabbed her phone and sat up, frowning at the random collection of numbers lighting up a grey banner. She clicked it, half-expecting a virus to corrupt her phone instantly, but she found something else instead.
There were two pictures and a message.
One of a sink.
Jinx asked for that one.
And the other was of a girl standing in front of a mirror with her hair down, warm light spilling all over her and making her hair glow even more. The focus of the photo was clearly her hair, but Jinx could just make out a smile behind the phone strategically positioned in front of Lux’s face.
told you i was all natural :)
Jinx had not asked for that one.
However, she couldn’t find it in her to complain.
After discarding their breakfast and several apologies (one consisting of a promised energy drink run later that day), Jinx had been regifted her OWN phone.
The fucking audacity was outstanding.
They had vacated to the grounds in front of their campus to kill time before they had to part ways. Jinx wanted to go back to her dorm, but Ekko was insistent they spend this ‘essential time bonding considering the issue she might not live to tomorrow’.
Whatever the fuck that means.
He craned his neck, standing on tiptoes like a hyperactive ballerina. Jinx watched from beneath a tree, biting back comments that burned at her soul.
“What class you got next?” he asked, still scanning for his roommate.
He looked idiotic, hence why she was now sitting beneath a tree.
She could easily be mistaken for an innocent bystander who is also silently judging Peter Rabbit.
“We’ve been friends for…?” Jinx mused, crossing her legs at the ankle as she tilted her head back against the tree.
She took a tiny breath, relishing in the fresh air.
An odd thing to consider a ‘luxury’, but a luxury nonetheless.
The white haired boy lowered back down to normal people level and shot her a sideways glance. “Like 10 years?”
“Mhm. And we’ve been enrolled at this college for?”
“Three months as of last week.”
“And how many times have my classes changed?”
He kicked the shit out of her foot and she yelped, yanking her knees to her chest. She hugged them tightly, glaring viciously at the boy smirking down at her.
He drew a little closer and put his hands on his knees, lowering himself to her level in a way that made her want to lunge. An air of arrogance settled around him and she nearly choked on its potent fumes. “Keep it up and I’ll take your phone again,” he threatened softly, gaze unwavering.
She tilted her chin up, relaxing her features to wipe the glare off her face. She feigned innocence and let go of her legs, resting them between his man-spread legs. She matched his glare, a sweet smile slipping its way onto her lips.
She leaned forward slightly and shifted her weight back. “Try it,” she challenged before kicking upwards, laughing like an idiot whenever he leaped away nearly a second too late.
Her leg hit his inner thigh.
But she was close.
“Quit fucking with me,” he whined bitterly, rubbing the spot she got him gingerly, “or I’ll tell Vi.”
She scoffed at him and shook her head, pulling her phone from her back pocket. Speaking of the devil, her sister had texted her.
Another banner beneath Vi’s message caught her attention and an unwitting smile grew.
So had a familiar Blondie.
“Yeah, go tattle to my sister,” she shot dejectedly at Ekko. “And I don’t have a class until our class with Viktor at 2. Even then we’re not even doing anything, we’re going to that observatory near the river to test some shit.”
No, not the one Jinx had spent her free time vandalizing last night. That was a private observatory that turned out to belong to a renowned Eldred, who was considerably respected in the twinkling star world apparently. He married into the very astound ‘Crownguard’ family but earned his success by studying some weird ass connection between stars and technology.
Fuck if Jinx knew. She did very limited research, it felt creepily like stalking her new buddy and didn’t want to impose just yet. She just wanted to know more about the observatory and she had some time to kill after their test this morning.
From the little she’d grathered, she fucked with a very interesting family.
She opened her sister's message and frowned, a wave of disappointment and fear drenching her from head to toe.
When are you coming over?
Never!
That’s what she wanted to say. However, after the stunt she pulled last night, she doubted that would fly without at least eight Enforcers on her tail before the night ended.
A million excuses came to mind, each one she’d either already used or knew wouldn’t work.
‘I didn’t get the message.’
‘I thought you meant 12 A.M.’
‘I have class.’
‘I was asleep.’
‘I got hit by a train.’
‘I drowned in the river.’
‘My paint bomb was actually a real one, got things to… hide .’
‘Got hit by a car, gotta call you later.’
See? Running out of options.
The issue this time around was simply that she knew her sister would instantly tell her dad if she didn’t show. And he was already pissed about the Benzo and blood thing, she had to go home tomorrow, she really didn’t want lectures all weekend.
He’d be nuclear if she skipped out on this visit.
She typed out 12 and hesitated over the send button for a good 30 seconds. She could feel the build up brewing within her and she exhaled shakily.
She really, really didn’t want to see Vi.
The last time she saw her was nearly 6 months ago.
A lot’s… a lot’s changed.
And she wasn’t ready to be dotted on while they all pretended this wasn’t basically a welfare checkup.
She already knew her dad asked Vi to plan this. He probably approached her with some bullshit line like ‘We can’t tell if she's getting worse, you’re never around her, you check!’ and she probably ate that shit up because it meant SAVIOR VI to the rescue and blah blah… blah.
Blah.
The only, and she meant this, the ONLY reason she finally pressed send was the promise that if she saw one sister, she got to see the other.
She was good at being nonchalant and acting like she didn’t care, but she just wanted to see Isha.
Her fingers were trembling by the time she clicked on Lux’s message and she forced herself to take a breath, blinking roughly to get rid of the dots marring her vision. Faint whispers seeped into her ears, but she shoved them away roughly.
It was okay. All was okay.
She was fine.
She opened her eyes and glanced down at the screen, a soft smile lighting up her face way too quickly whenever she saw the girl’s message.
How’s that bruise?
Something tickled in her stomach (a flock of crows possibly) as she typed back a response.
barely noticeable
Seriously?
She responded with a photo. She didn’t look at the camera, just kept her eyes forward and snapped a photo of the side of her face, perfectly capturing how fucking INSANE she looked to anyone walking.
Blue haired girl with a black jaw.
Totally normal.
Welcome to Zaun.
The photo sent after a second of loading and Lux’s side of the chat went quiet. No bubbles, just ominous nothingness. Jinx was just about to shut her phone off when those trusty gray bubbles popped back up, effectively stalling her.
You fucking liar.
look at that, you know me so well
Call it dumb luck. Are you alright?
save your concern, i bruise like a peach
Or maybe I’m just really really strong.
Jinx couldn’t help but smile at that.
whatever helps you sleep at night blondie
Ice would probably help you, I’m so sorry for beating the shit out of you.
dont flatter yourself, i can barely feel it
Really?
nope, hurts like a bitch
I can already tell you’re a dick.
you like it
Says who?
“JINXY!”
She flinched, her phone flying from her hands. “Shit!” she hissed, diving after it. She barely snatched it up before shoving it into her back pocket, desperate to keep her conversations to herself—just as she was dragged to her feet.
A very distinct earthy scent filled the yard (no it wasn’t the grass), followed by lanky arms wrapping tightly around Jinx, pinning her arms to her sides. The figure shook her playfully, eliciting a groan as they tightened their grip. The suffocating embrace made her question why she tolerated people at all, every inch their skin touched enough to send her into hibernation.
Without hesitation, she kicked backward, her foot connecting with something solid. A satisfying yelp rang in her ears. The arms released her instantly, and she spun around, shoving the offender hard.
Ezreal hit the ground with a dramatic flair, sprawling like a flailing mermaid. Jinx didn’t hesitate—she kicked him again.
“Squirmy today, isn’t she?” Ezreal quipped, his grin faltering as he curled up, clutching his leg. “Okay! I’m sorry!” he yelped, hands up in surrender as Jinx loomed over him, clearly unimpressed.
“Don’t be a dick,” she snapped, flexing her fingers as a sharp shudder ran down her spine, “Jesus.”
Squirmy was one way to put it.
She needed to get that under control before she went to see Vi. If that happened, it’d be game over.
The green haired boy grinned knowingly as his eyes mockingly scanned Jinx’s frame slowly. “Ezreal, actually, but you can call me whatever you want sweethe-“
Her nose wrinkled with disgust. “Save your lines for someone who gives a fuck.”
“Don’t bother with her,” Ekko interjected quickly, suddenly right next to her. He extended a hand to the boy on the ground, grunting when he heaved him back to his feet. “She’s in a mood .”
Ezreal dusted himself off. “I can tell... does that mean you need another hug?” he asked, opening his arms like he was about to embrace her again with a wicked sneer.
“Don’t piss me off,” she said, taking a step away from him. “I don’t want your damn cologne transferring to me. I’d hate to attract any squirrels.”
He feigned a hurt expression and puffed his chest out, draping an arm lazily over Ekko’s shoulder. His glasses slid down his nose slightly. “Excuse me if not all of us want to smell like the backwater city we come from.”
“You smell like a tree.”
“Good cause I need someone to take a swing at me,” he said with an incredulous smile and a wink to go with it. “Maybe… climb up this rocking bod.”
The King of Idiotic Puns ladies and gentlemen.
Jinx gaped at him, cursing herself when she felt the corner of her lips curl up. She should not be encouraging him, but who the hell says this shit? He laughed loudly and Ekko shoved him away. The unfunny boy stumbled slightly before catching himself, winking at the pair like he was completely unfazed. His green hair dangled in his eyes and he blew a piece away.
It looked brighter in the sunlight, and she could see the slightly darker green highlights he must’ve added at some point. Either that, or he was a shitty hairdresser who didn’t even out the dye properly and left it fucked up and streaky.
Probably the latter.
“Are you going back to your dorm?” Ekko asked and Jinx shook her head, rubbing her arm absently.
“No. I’m going to see Vi,” she mumbled, unable to keep the distaste from creeping into her words.
Ezreal’s eyebrow’s shot up and he shared a distinct look with an equally appalled Ekko.
Clearly her feelings about her sister were clear.
“Uh, not to be a bother-”
“You? A bother?” Jinx cut Ezreal off dryly. “Never.”
“When was the last time you even saw her? You’ve been ditching every visit since you got back to Zaun,” Ezreal said, clearly ignoring the insult shot his way. “Isn’t that going to be…”
“Weird as shit?” Jinx asked as she leaned back against the tree, tracing the pattern of her tattoo with her nail.
“One way to put it.”
She shrugged, “I see Cait every week, sometimes twice. Push comes to shove and we get into it, I’ll hang around her.”
Her sister’s relationship with an Enforcer was… a difficult subject to broach. Jinx never really cared for it, but her anger was more aimed at Vi, never Caitlyn. They got along well enough that issues between them never transpired into anything serious. Back when she used to visit regularly, she would sometimes help Caitlyn around their place or sit at the island while she cooked. Sometimes they talked and caught up, sometimes neither said a word at all. Silence from Jinx was never something Caitlyn blamed her for. Jinx respected her well enough because of that.
Even if she was an Enforcer.
And a pretty important one at that.
“What are the chances push does come to shove,” Ekko probed lightly, flipping his wrist over to check his watch. He tapped Ezreal and tapped the time, earning a nod in response.
Jinx pulled her phone from her pocket to check the time and her mouth dried. She couldn’t even be happy to see a recent message from Blondie, the anguish that swirled in her chest was too strong and dark to allow any light to come into it.
“It always does,” she muttered, snatching Ekko’s bag from the ground. She offered it to him and he took it with an encouraging smile, looping his arm through the hole before placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.
His touch was warm, but it felt freezing against her skin. She suppressed the twitch aching to rush through her hand by balling her fingers up tightly, ignoring the sting.
“It’s going to be fine. It’s just Vi. She loves you, she’s just got a funny way of showing it,” he reassured and Ezreal nodded vigorously, flashing her a dorky thumbs up.
She stared at the two of them, gaze flicking between white and green before she deflated.
“We’ll find you before class, okay?” Ekko said.
She nodded, unable to keep the ominous ‘ we’ll see ’ from bouncing around her head.
❀
Jinx was stalling.
That was the only way to properly describe what she was doing that didn’t end with an insanity diagnosis.
Standing inches from a mahogany door, trailing the indentations with her cautious gaze as she counted each breath she took to occupy her mind with something other than the cold whispers keeping the porch from falling completely silent wasn’t exactly a normal activity for most.
Especially when the house in front of her belonged to a Kiaramman.
She was lucky the streets around her were vacant. If anyone walked by and saw her eyeing up the Kiramman’s door like a snack she wasn’t sure if she wanted or not, hell would rain.
She looked like a pathetic thief. Or just a really shitty one at that.
You’re a fucking idiot. She’s your sister, she has every right to be pissed at you. You fucked up, you always do.
Yeah, but so did she.
She grimaced softly, rubbing her temple with her thumb harshly.
The real reason she avoided coming here was because there was nothing to silence the storm inside her. Staring at Vi was just a reminder of what her life used to be. Everything they’ve lost, everything she’s lost or threw away.
Her sister got out of Zaun. She had a future and promise of a family.
Jinx had…
The silence that followed that statement always made her heart throb.
She wasn’t the type of person to have.
She was the type of person to lose.
Friends, family. Trust.
You can’t keep up this act forever.
Her mind.
The worst part was Vi had seen it all. Jinx couldn’t pretend around her, her sister saw her for who she truly was. The mask she wore was translucent with Vi near.
Instead of violet, her sister saw blue.
It was maddening.
For every crack in her sanity, Vi had been there to bear witness to the monster her mother had created. Every single time, without fail, no matter the distance between them, every time she snapped, Vi was there.
She may be a jinx, but Vi was her catalyst.
There was once a time where her sister made everything better. A soft-spoken story in her ear to calm her in a state of panic. A smile or comforting embrace when the fear was dripping from her lips when it was all she could taste. A walk at late hours as her sister told her stories to boost her morale. Inside jokes, shared meals. No one could come near her without her sister a foot behind her.
The shift from having that to losing it in the same breath was…
Not something she wanted to think about.
“Okay,” she whispered, shaking her head softly. She could handle this, it was only for a little while.
She could handle this.
She could handle her sister.
She tapped her knuckles softly against the door, half hoping the gesture would go unnoticed or that the house was empty. Maybe luck would be on her side for once and they would be out, too busy with work or arresting inno-
The door swung open before she could remember to gather her courage. Caitlyn's casual smile clashed with Jinx's chaotic thoughts, leaving her momentarily paralyzed. Caitlyn crossed her arms across her chest and wiggled her eyebrows, decked out in an usually casual outfit.
A beat of silence passed as Jinx grasped something coherent to say, too taken aback by being on this porch again. Every possible line she had come up with on the walk here was gone.
Animosity had melted into plain fear.
However, this seemed to go unnoticed by Caitlyn, who just said “Hiyah.”
Interesting opener.
“...Hi?” she said slowly, mentally cursing herself for how timid she sounded.
They exchanged a look for a second and it made Jinx want to throw up. Caitlyn’s gaze was filled with something she couldn’t decipher, but in her true nature, her eyes never once drifted from Jinx’s eyes. They didn’t tear away to admire the bruise, they didn’t try and search out for a new set of scars or the new bloodied up marks on her knuckles.
Maybe it was because she was used to it by now. She saw Jinx weekly, she knew she always had some new version of any injury on her. She doubted the blood freaked her out anymore.
Caitlyn stayed placid until she clapped her hands together and broke both of the trances they were both in.
“Okay! Are you going to come inside or do you want to keep moping?” She asked.
“Keep moping.”
Caitlyn grabbed her by the front of her shirt and dragged her inside with a quick roll of her eyes. She threw the door behind them shut and vanished towards the kitchen without so much as a look towards the girl now in her house. Jinx barely even registered what happened.
“Okay…” she mumbled to herself, threading her fingers together nervously.
She hesitated for a good minute, gathering her bearings frantically before reluctantly following Caitlyn. She weaved through the house until she found her, a mess sprawled all over the countertop and island as she made… something interesting.
She stood in the doorway, watching Caitlyn stir something for a moment before carefully creeping forward, body falling into old habits before she could stop herself. She slipped into an open seat at the island, trying furiously to shrink down in the massive room like she could hide.
The house was a gift from Caitlyn’s father when she was old enough to move out. It was a perfect distance from the true Kiramman house where her parents lived and Zaun, as requested by Caitlyn for Vi’s sake. It wasn’t insanely massive like most Pilitie houses, it was perfect for her and Vi. And Isha when she stayed with them.
Which reminded her…
She glanced around the living room, looking for any signs of the quiet girl but found none. Vi also seemed to be missing from her usual spot on the couch, reading some file about some stupid case or what not.
“Uh, where’s Isha and Vi?”
Caitlyn glanced up but didn’t stop stirring what Jinx was now guessing was batter.
“Out,” she said simply like it was no issue at all.
Annoyance festered like a rippling fire beneath her skin as her confusion morphed into anger. “I thought the whole point of this was to see my sister ,” she snapped harshly. “Not you.”
Caitlyn took no offense to the remark. “She’s doing me a favor. If it makes you feel any better, she wasn’t thrilled about it either,” she said, still calm.
“It doesn’t, thanks.”
Her stare turned cold when Caitlyn leveled a glare at her, composure slowly slipping.
“That’s another reason I told her to get out of the house. To give me a chance to talk to you before you two finally speak,” she explained, setting the whisk down slightly harder than necessary. Jinx caught the way her jaw was tense and her hand had balled up, knuckles stark white.
Her accent was peeking out with each word. A clear sign she was dancing with the line of peace and anger just as much as Jinx was.
“What is there to talk about?”
She raised an eyebrow as she pressed further. “You’re acting different.”
Jinx sneered, “No shit, sherlock. Dying does that to a person.”
Caitlyn shook her head roughly, “No, I mean recently. You were, in your own sense, fine a couple weeks ago. Don’t think your stunt went unnoticed by the department yesterday, I read the report.” She set the bowl down, bits of batter splashing over the side. “Are you fucking stupid? That cop reported that you were ‘driving recklessly’ and ‘without care for your own general safety’.”
Her face darkened as the smell of burnt rubber and blood filled her nose. “You’ve got no proof that was me,” she lied.
Caitlyn scoffed. “Yeah, right. Blue car, girl with a metal finger ,” she reached for Jinx’s wrist and grabbed it tightly, forcing it up for both to see, “reported driving like a psycho to evade Enforcers.”
Jinx yanked out of her grip and rubbed her skin, the whispers growing louder. “I didn’t get caught. And it’s not like anyone knows who I am. We cover our faces, dipshit, that’s part of the whole ‘hidden identity’ bullsit.”
“You really think that shit’s going to work forever? It’s a name that can be tied back to you. You are going to get caught and when you do, I can’t bail you out. There goes school, there goes your friends, there goes everything. ”
“I don’t need you. I’ve been fine, it’s been two years and I haven’t even been questioned . Ekko has countless times.”
“Yes, but you’ve been in three accidents.”
Her mouth clamped shut.
There it was.
The remote she’d been waiting for to click the insanity on.
A heavy silence fell and from the look that broached Caitlyn’s face, she knew she’d gone too far.
It was crazy how all it took was one mention of a word for it to fuck you up. All the progress you’d made, unravelled in seconds by a simple phrase. Memories flash and fear resurfaces, rendering you as mute as you were the day it was actually happening.
Growing up, she used to boast about having a photographic memory. It helped with her designs and inventions, she could remember maps after one glance, she excelled in school because of it. There was seemingly no fault to having an impenetrable memory, only pros that everyone yearned for. Never forgetting meant never studying, never clinging to recall something, nothing ever leaving her mind.
She felt like a superhero when she was younger.
Everything changes when you want to forget something and you can’t. Because then… then everything lingers . It sticks like residue from old tape. Even all scraped away, it’s still there, bothering and reminding you of it all.
Bits and pieces come up like your lunch when you vomit.
Fire.
She blinked at Caitlyn, neither daring to move, caught in the crossfire of one another.
The overwhelming sensation of burning flesh clogging every crevice on her face.
“Jinx.”
Metal encasing her like a monster in its jaws, desperate to never let her leave.
“Forget the accident. Forget I said that.”
The seat belt fastened her down, restraining her movement as she thrashed desperately to be freed.
“That wasn’t what I wanted to talk to you about.”
Smoke scorched her lungs as she screamed for release, begging someone to hear her. To save her.
“I know what you two are like.”
Her fingers tore at the door, slicing into the metal until her blood mixed with the ash staining the black interior. Groaning from the front seat broke her concentration.
“You act like you hate one another. But you don’t. You’re just too stubborn to admit it.”
An unmoving figure in the driver’s seat was enough to make her spin away and heave, all her breakfast now next to her in the sizzling pit of hell they were trapped in. A groan sounded again, one so contorted with agony she wanted to wrench it from her ears forever.
“I know why to an extent, and I can’t say I blame you for your distrust towards Vi.”
Another round of frantic fumbling for her seat belt ended with freedom, the pressure pulling at her chest loosening. She scrambled forward, slicing her leg against a shard of metal poking through the driver’s seat.
“She left. Several times. She does that when she gets angry. Emotions aren’t her strong suit… per say.”
She cried out, clinging to her sticky skin as blood seeped past her fingers. She desperately tried to keep the little pieces of herself inside as tears streamed down her soot-ridden face. She braced herself on the center console, hesitating a second before pulling herself forward.
“I’m not asking you to forgive her. She used you… I used you. When you were struggling, we took advantage of that. No amount of apologizing will ever make up for that.”
A scream ripped its way through her throat, severing her vocal cords when she caught sight of the lifeless head lolled to the right, eyes open and vacant. The very shard of metal that had cut her was sticking through his chest, blood lazily dripping from the incision and his mouth, pooling in his lap.
“All I am saying is she hasn’t seen you since…”
She remembered watching her sister shake her parents after their accident, trying in vain to wake them up, but she was frozen. Her eyes were transfixed on the metal and the way the fire roaring around them was gleaming off it, staining the world orange. He was dead. There was no saving him. Another groan.
“She’s just as nervous as you are, okay? She wants this to go well and is terrified she’s going to lash out and mess it up.”
Her head spun to the right and a gasp tore through her. The body of a crushed boy covered in rumble struck her, his head leaned back against the seat as his eyes fluttered open and closed frantically. Blood covered his face, clearly running down from his head, tangling in his eyes and mouth, making it look like it was coming from every hole in his face.
“If you two want to talk alone, I’ll leave. But I know… I know you and I are, well, closer in a way. We’ve connected.”
She shook him when his eyes shut again, screaming and begging for him to wake up. He groaned, louder this time, only able to move half his body. His legs and arms were trapped by massive stones. His trademark goggles were cracked, specks of blood reflecting through the glass.
“I’m not saying you two need to get close again whatsoever. That’s up to you. I know she wants to, but again, you.”
No amount of her pleading worked. She shook and screamed and hit but in the end, his head eventually dropped forward, resting against the very thing that took his life. The last thing he ever uttered was a horrifying rattle that escaped his lips, the noise impossibly loud despite the chaos ensuing around them. Unforgettable.
“Maybe this will be a good thing.”
She doesn’t know how long she cried. She doesn’t know how loud she screamed. She doesn’t know how long she was passed out for. She doesn’t know when she woke up. She doesn’t know how she got out.
“A fresh start.”
One minute everything was black, the next it was red. She was hot. Bloody. She was struck with a last bit of energy. She threw herself against the door over and over, again and again. Screaming, crying, breaking every single bone in her shoulder in the process.
“Just, hear her out, okay?”
The door broke under her weight. She fell to the ground and instantly scrambled up, fire tearing through her skin. She tore through the wall of flames, running and running until she collapsed. That’s how they found her. Bones broken, voice gone, covered in blood, smoke, and guilt.
“If not for her, or for me, do it for Isha.”
From head to toe.
Jinx sniffled, dropping her head in her hands to mask the unforgivable tremble in her fingers. She was cold. Painfully freezing. But she didn’t want to be hot. She couldn’t bear the heat. She’d rather be cold for the rest of her life than ever felt heat again.
“I-I,” she winced as the word cracked, chest heaving unevenly as Caitlyn watched on, “just want to see my sister.”
There was a heavy pause and Caitlyn seemed terrified to move. She knew something had just happened, Jinx could tell with the way she was hesitating. “I know, they’ll be back soon,” she tried to soothe.
“It’s been six months,” she whispered darkly, words thick in her throat. She could still smell the fire, the blood, the burning flesh . “You took her away for six months and haven’t let me see her once.”
Caitlyn stilled, gaze faltering in nothing shy of pure shame. She looked away, pink staining her cheeks. That seemed to crack her.
“Do you blame us?”
Her head snapped up, jaw clenched tightly as she shot daggers through the person in front of her.
“The fuck?”
“You were unstable after, it, happened. It wasn’t our idea, you know that. It was Vander’s,” she recalled carefully but Jinx’s anger didn’t diminish. “He wasn’t worried about you hurting Isha, he knew you wouldn’t do that Jinx. He was worried you would try and protect her when you needed to focus on yourself. She follows you everywhere, you’re her idol. If she saw you struggling, well, he was worried she wouldn’t be able to handle it. Her staying here was never meant to be permanent. She’s barely said a word to either of us in months, she wants to go home.”
That didn’t help. If anything it just made it worse.
It just branded in the fact that this was her fault. Isha was suffering because of her and her idiotic decisions. Had she just been smarter or quicker, nothing would’ve happened. She would be fine, her family would be fine, all of it would be…
Fine.
“You haven’t come to see anyone but me since April. You’ve skipped visits, you’re racing, you don’t care for your safety anymore Jay, you’re just so…”
“So what, Cait?” she snarled, eyes snapping up in unprecedented rage. “What’s your fucking diagnosis of me?”
She looked torn, twisting her fingers as she tilted her head at the girl at her island.
“Angry.”
Jinx was angry. She had so much to be angry about. Nothing seemed to go her way, ever. This was just another mark added to the endless tallies running down her walls. She wasn’t just fucking up her life, she was fucking up her sisters.
No amount of adrenaline could make her forget that.
She deflated down into her seat, covering her face with her hands. She heaved a sigh, emotion threatening to bubble over.
“You’re right about that,” was all she could manage, each word more fractured than the last.
She heard some shuffling, “I thought the training was helping. You said… you said it was.”
She couldn’t help but chuckle at that.
About three weeks after Jinx’s ‘crowning achievement’ six months ago, she was wandering around the Lanes after dark. She’d snuck out, body too alive to power off for the night. Her uncle had originally told her to wake him up if that were to happen, but after the first time ended with him so tired he slept through the entire next day, she stopped. She felt too guilty to make him suffer for her. Besides, the only way to soothe the voices was to tire them out.
At first, she just wanted to go for a run, but it quickly became something different. She turned down an alley, eyes on her watch when she was fucking clocked in the nose.
It was two guys, both kids she recognized but did not know. It escalated from there, resulting in her getting thrown against a brick wall and an unfair fight that left both parties with blood on them. Despite her resilience, Jinx had taken the brunt of the punches, and the only reason she walked away without any broken bones was because fucking Cupcake happened to be patrolling the area that night.
They ran off, leaving Jinx battered and bloody for Caitlyn to tend to. She refused to go home and refused to go back to the Kiramman house, so she let her sister’s girlfriend clean her up in a dirty alley at three in the morning.
Despite the inconvenience, Caitlyn wasn’t angry. She didn’t make any snide comments or aggressive insults, just sat silently and whipped the blood trickling from Jinx’s mouth away with her fancy shmancy sleeve. She used her water to clean dirt off her arms and pretended not to notice the tears spilling down Jinx’s cheeks.
It was the first and only time she’s ever cried in front of someone that wasn’t a family member.
They’ve never spoken about it.
She joined Jinx on the ground, head leaned back against the brick wall. She doesn’t know how long they stayed like that. Five minutes. An hour. Two, maybe. They just… sat.
When Caitlyn finally stood and pulled Jinx to her feet, she spoke for the very first time all night.
“Every Tuesday, you’re going to meet me at the gym in Piltover,” she said, grabbing both Jinx’s arms gingerly. When Jinx opened her mouth to refute, she shook her head and cut her off. “I’m not asking. Every Tuesday, 3 o’clock. When you start college in the fall, if you have a class at 3, we can move the time. But every Tuesday, the gym.”
She stared at her for a second, the moonlight spilling over Caitlyn’s pointed features as Jinx croaked out a measly “Why?”
“Training helps me not think.”
That was all she said.
That was all it took.
Jinx agreed with a nod and when Tuesday came around, while skeptical, she showed up. If Caitlyn was surprised to see her, she didn’t show it, just handed her some tape and showed her how to wrap her hands.
Every Tuesday since then, she’s trained for four hours with the cop. Whether they box, run, climb, or just plain workout, they do something.
And… it worked.
In those moments, she isn’t wracked with anything other than the urge to work harder. It refreshes her system, and gives her an outlet.
So, yes, it worked. It was still working.
But, like any drug, each use diminishes the effect.
She rubbed her temple, nodding. “It did. Or, I mean, it does . It used to last the entire week, keeping me distracted. I could just… picture myself in the session and I’d be fine. But it just… I don’t know. It worked, but the —uh noises, came back a couple months ago. Louder this time. Meaner. Adrenaline gets rid of them, I think. I don’t know. It works, but it’s not a fix.”
Caitlyn frowned and glanced at her carefully, backing up until she reached the counter. She pulled herself up, sitting in an ingredient free spot. “Nothing is a fix . Nothing will fix you. You fix you.”
She wanted to roll her eyes at that obvious fucking statement.
“I know that.”
“Do you?”
Did she?
“What do they say?”
Huh.
She blinked, hands falling from her face as she straightened. Caitlyn looked curious, like what she just said wasn’t something Jinx had never heard before. “What?”
She shrugged, “The voices. What do they say?”
Jinx stammered, lips parting slightly with nothing but a shaky exhale coming out. She swallowed hard, trying to find a compelling lie.
What do you tell someone when they ask that?
Not the truth.
You can’t explain what you see because there is never a rational explanation for what you see. Or hear. Because while none of it is real , it all is.
So.
Predicament.
The opening of a door and the clattering of feet against the ground saved her from answering. Her heart launched to her throat as her eyes drifted towards the doorway. A distinct voice swirled through the air and made her soul ache. In a trance, she slid off the chair, creeping towards the front of the doorway.
It took maybe two seconds before a tiny figure came hurtling at her, knocking her entirely to the ground.
Arms wrapped around her neck, clinging to her tightly and she laughed to keep from crying. She wasn’t able to move for a second, too engulfed in the smell of peaches dancing around her as Isha’s grip tightened on her and for the first time in months, Jinx could see.
Carefully she pulled the girl back, heart aching at the freckled little girl staring at her through the tears welling up in those golden eyes. Her short, choppy brown hair was shorter and choppier, and Jinx couldn’t help but ruffle it playfully before resting her hand against her cheek with a sad smile.
They lasted like that for about two seconds before Isha’s lip started quivering and she launched for Jinx again, hugging her ten times tighter.
This time, Jinx wrapped her arms around her and threaded her fingers into her hair, holding her just as close. She shut her eyes, aware of Caitlyn’s nosey ass watching them, desperate to not have a repeat of the crying incident.
Isha.
Her little sister.
“I told you she missed you.”
Jinx’s eyes snapped open, locking instantly with the owner of the gruff voice she knew like it was her own.
Fuck.
Welcome home.
She rose to her feet, arms still holding Isha close to her as she rose to Vi’s level.
The red head smiled tightly, so uncharacteristically nervous in her own home.
“Hey sis,” she said carefully, words tiptoeing close to Jinx as if testing the waters.
Every muscle in her body tensed. Isha must’ve felt it because she tightened her hold, like she was afraid Jinx would dart out of the room.
It was tempting.
“Hey Vi,” she whispered, voice cracking just the way she’d begged it not too. Vi’s expression fell instantly and she winced, looking away the moment those blue eyes shone with worry. “Been a while.”
Heavy silence fell and Jinx focused on Isha’s soft breathing in her ear. Caitlyn was looking back and forth between them quickly, clearly confused about whatever the fuck was happening.
“Yeah, I’ll make tea,” she suddenly said, breaking the ice forcefully.
“Coffee for me,” Vi corrected, smiling apologetically when Cait glared at her.
“Yeah, two hot chocolates instead,” Jinx added, rubbing her thumb against Isha’s back slowly. “Freckles over here is not a fan of the English.”
Caitlyn sneered at the pair, rolling her eyes viciously, “Pickiest bitches I ever did meet.”
❀
Turns out, starting a conversation with someone you haven’t spoken to in six months is just as awkward as you would guess.
Jinx and Isha were curled up on the couch and Vi was in the recliner, sitting up and rigid despite being in a recliner…
Only she would find a way to sit in a chair wrong.
Isha’s head was in her lap, snoring softly against her legs, hot chocolate long gone. She had wrapped her hand in Jinx’s shirt the moment she fell asleep, like she used to when they were younger.
To prevent her from leaving.
“So,” Vi tried slowly, stirring her coffee for the eighth time in two minutes, “how’s class?”
She almost felt bad for her at this point. This was going as smoothly as she’d figured it would and was clearly killing both of them.
She shrugged, twirling Isha’s hair in her fingers. “Fine. I’m passing, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Vi shook her head, “No, I just mean, uh, what are you studying?”
“Hasn’t dad told you?”
“I wanted to hear it from you,” she explained softly.
She looked… bashful. Like every question was making her self-conscious or inflicting pain on her.
Torture at its finest apparently.
“Mechanical Engineering.”
A look of surprise flashed across Vi’s face, but she covered it quickly. Probably thought she was going to pick art or something. Everyone seemed to. “That’s awesome, good for you. I’m glad you took the full ride, school was a good choice.”
Jinx nodded slowly, eyes flicking to her boots.
Red laces.
She looked away.
“Have you made any new friends?”
Lux instantly flashed into her mind, but there was no way in hell Jinx would be telling her sister about her anytime soon. She just gave a quick no since Vi already knew all her friends, the awkwardness quickly growing with each passing second.
“You, uh, you cut your hair shorter,” Vi pointed out and Jinx self-consciously pulled at the ends of her braid.
It used to graze her ankles, courtesy of her refusal to cut her hair from the age of 11 to 18, but she cut it so the braids only graze her lower back now. Easier to manage, and… well, kind of a fresh start.
“Yeah, Ekko helped.”
“Cool.”
More silence fell. It made Jinx want to rip her skin off. She wanted the yelling, the screaming, the anger to course between them like she was used to. This discomfort… it was unfamiliar and terrifying. She hated every second of it.
“Just say it.”
Vi tilted her head slightly, eyeing her cautiously from across the room. “Say what?” She asked, voice thick with pretend confusion that Jinx knew was a faux.
“Whatever you need to. Ask what you want, get it out of you. It’ll make this weird bullshit silence go away and speed this along.”
A scowl passed through Vi’s features, her powder blue eyes darkening just like Jinx knew they would eventually. “What if I just want to spend time with you? It’s been six months, you haven’t called, you haven’t texted. Nothing.”
“Because you told me not to!” She snapped, tone unforgiving as Vi flinched. “I didn’t forget. And that’s my whole point, it’s been six months. Surely you are dying to know what Baby Blue got up to in her time away.”
Vi’s demeanor shifted, the veil she’d put up flashing away fast. The nerves were gone. The apprehension was being replaced with distaste.
This was what she was used to. The normalcy relaxed her, made the bile on her tongue soften as her words sharpened, ready to be thrown like daggers.
“I don’t need to ask, I know all the shit you’ve pulled. You really think I don’t?”
“I think you know you fucked up, so you‘ve been tidying up from afar.”
Vi’s jaw dropped open so fast Jinx wondered if she’d broken it. Kind of hoped she did.
“ I fucked up?”
“Yeah, Vi. You fucked up,” she spat.
Vi snorted, rubbing her jaw with a glare worthy of a thousand trophies. “Got it, thanks for clearing that up. So if I ‘fucked up’, what should we call the shit you’ve been doing?”
“Jinxing it, maybe?” she sneered, relishing in the way blood drained from Vi’s face and her fingers curled into a ball. “Seems to be the way you put it last time.”
“I didn’t mean that.”
Jinx shot her a knowing look. “Yeah, you did.”
“That’s not the point.”
“Isn’t it? You got what you wanted, Vi. I’m here. I’m alive. I’m unharmed. No one is dead. I’m sitting in front of you, in your home, ready for the lecture you’re about to give.”
Vi’s nose wrinkled in disgust, leaning forward to set her coffee down roughly. “I didn’t tell dad to get you here to lecture you, that’s his area of expertise.”
“What’s yours?—hitting things?”
“Are you done being a bitch?” Vi suddenly demanded, voice harsh and cold in a way that left frost on Jinx’s arms.
“I don’t know, why am I here ?”
“Because you won’t talk to me!” Vi said exasperatedly. “You ignore me. It’s been six months. I haven’t seen you in six months and suddenly I’m the asshole for wanting to? I, no, EVERYONE is worried about you. You’re being reckless again, I talked to the cop who went after you, you almost slammed into a wall .” Jinx looked away at that, the memory bitter in her mouth. “And you’ve got a black fucking bruise on your face, I’m allowed to be worried. I’m allowed to get dad to drag your ass here so I can try and figure out what the fuck is wrong with you.”
Prickly way to phrase that.
“What the fuck is wrong with me?” Jinx repeated slowly, carefully slipping out of Isha’s grip to stand as anger burned all around her. She stalked towards Vi, finger aimed at the girl still in the recliner. “ What the fuck is wrong with me?”
Clearly sensing her mistake, Vi frowned, shaking her head, “I didn’t mean it like th-”
“Stop taking back all the shit you say , Vi! You said it, mean it. Fuck’s sake.”
“Fine. Fine, you’re right. What the fuck is wrong with you, Jay?”
Shame burned in her face and she wanted to throw up. She’d asked for it, she’d gotten it, and yet, it still hurt. “I see things that aren’t real, I hear things from people who aren’t here anymore , that’s what fucking wrong with me . You can’t fix that. You can’t fix me. That’s not how it works.”
This was turning out just as she thought it would.
“I don’t want to fix you. I want to try and help ,” Vi corrected, rubbing the bridge of her nose. “I’m not going to let you hang yourself because you’re too scared to ask for help. Your methods are insane and you’re going to end up getting killed.”
Good.
It’s a sickening thought, but it bounces around her head like a bomb about to go off.
“I’ve lost enough family.”
Low motherfucking blow.
Every cell in her body curled in on itself and she flinched back, hard. The tic she’d been so desperate to suppress surged through her, and for once, she didn’t even care. Every voice in her head cackled, driving her a step closer to insanity as she sucked air in through her teeth.
“Last I checked,” Jinx stated slowly, emotion bubbling on the tip of her tongue as she glared at her sister, “that was my fault. So.”
“Jay.”
She shook her head, stumbling back when Vi tried to touch her. “I’m leaving,” she announced, ignoring the forlorn expression her sister gave her.
“Just because you’re too scared to admit something's wrong with you doesn’t make any of it right ,” Vi urged, but Jinx was too shut off to care about getting ‘better’. She held a hand up when Vi stood up, keeping space between them. “I hate that you’re mad at me all the time.”
Oh.
The admission fell between them. Jinx froze, the weight of it hitting her square in the chest as her sister peered at her, clearly terrified.
She wasn’t… why would—okay, it was obvious why she would, but she thought…
There was no way she didn’t know?
“I-I know that. You don’t think I know that?” Jinx said carefully, backing up more when Vi took a small step closer. “I’m not mad… okay, I am mad at you for all the shit you’ve done. You fucking suck sometimes, dude. But my anger is not… aimed at you . I don’t blame you. I’ve forgiven you, alright? But what happened, all of it, doesn’t just go away. But, I’m not mad at you.”
Vi stilled at that. It looked like 10 years had been knocked off her and Jinx would be lying if guilt didn’t slap her across the face at the agony she’d forced her sister to endure. They both had… been through it, to say the least.
Caitlyn saying all that shit earlier wasn’t new, Jinx knew that stuff. She knew what her sister was like. Despite everything, Jinx idolized that bitch. She’d forgiven her seconds after everything, no matter what she’d done. They were sisters, it was annoying as fuck, but it was true. Vi could beat her and Jinx would say sorry. She basically had.
Her forgiveness didn’t mean she’d forgotten it.
Or that she wasn’t beneath bringing it up.
“Look, I can’t stay here. I’m… you’re not helping right now. I’ve got class later. But…” she sighed heavily, knowing she was going to regret this soon. “Come home sometime this weekend. We, uh, we can talk more than. When I’m not…” she made a swirly motion with her finger.
“You’re not crazy,” Vi muttered.
Jinx frowned. “Never said I was. That meant ‘wound up’, have you seriously not picked up on Isha’s signs yet?”
Vi shrugged tiredly, running a hand through her hair like an exhausted dad. “She’s got a lot, I don’t know.”
“Jesus, bring Isha home too,” she said, shaking her head when Vi opened her mouth to argue. “I wasn’t asking. It’s been six fucking months Vi, she’s coming home.”
She looked torn and it made Jinx so unbelievably angry it was concerning. “I don’t know Jay… are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“If you don’t, I’ll just break in and take her,” she said with a shrug, “she’d go willingly.”
“I could, legally, stop you, you know.” Vi said, a slight smile pulling at the corner of her lips. It made Jinx’s chest tight, a painful yearning for what could’ve been flaring all around her.
She leaned into it, desperate for some normalcy. “What are you going to do?—handcuff me to the table?”
“We don’t have handcuffs here.”
“We both know that’s not true.”