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Guillermo looked down at his watch.
It read July 5th, 1:31am.
Plenty of time until sunrise. They still had plenty of time to get out of this mess and get back home to Staten Island. The fact that they had separated from the rest of the group was only a minor setback. They had their meeting point, and they were headed in the right direction. It would be fine! All they had to do now was to stay out of trouble, keep their heads down, make it to Union Square, and then they would be home free.
Guillermo and Nandor walked wordlessly together on the underground train tracks. There was nothing but the sounds of their feet kicking rocks and the skittering of unseen rats fleeing to break the silence. But the quiet was heavy. Guillermo could feel the weight of words said and unsaid in the air. They’d managed to remain amicable in the weeks following their fight, but things weren’t how they were supposed to be between them. They were… fine. But they weren’t good.
They weren’t them.
Guillermo huffed a sigh as he realized it was his turn to break the ice. That it was his turn to fix things this time. No better place to do it than alone underground, fleeing from murderous vampires, he guessed.
“So, I’m–” Guillermo began.
“Guillermo, I–” Nandor began at the same time, interrupting Guillermo.
“I’m sorry, go ahead.”
“No please, I insist.” Nandor said politely, motioning in front of him with his hands in an ‘after you’ motion.
“Okay…thanks.”
Guillermo paused. He knew all the things that he wanted to say, but they still sat heavy on his tongue. He didn’t quite know where to begin. The move? The job? The fight? The fact that they had no clear road map, now that Guillermo had decided to remain human?
No, definitely not that last one. That was too much for right now.
Nandor began to look at him questioningly, and so Guillermo opened his mouth. “I’ll start by saying I’m sorry–”
“It is–”
“No, it’s not okay,” Guillermo pushed.
“Oh. Actually, I was going to say, ‘It is about time.’ But yes, continue with whatever it is that you were saying,” Nandor said, a mischievous light gleaming in his eyes, and Guillermo rolled his eyes, smiling a bit.
“I am sorry, okay?" Guillermo began in a deflated tone. "I’m sorry. When I started this job… I was lost. I was so starved for some sort of validation, some sort of hint that I could make it on my own in this new life. And yes, I know Jordan is a dick, but he made me feel like I was appreciated. I was so used to not being seen, or heard– listened to, or…or being cared for in the way that I thought I needed to be cared for that I just… didn’t want to lose that. When I…changed my mind about everything…all of those feelings just came rushing at me tenfold. What now? What had I done with my life? What did I have to show for the last decade and a half? This stupid job helped me feel like I was finally back on track… that I was on my way to being normal again.”
He sighed and continued, looking at Nandor now. "But I didn’t stop to think about how any of my actions, or the consequences, may have affected you.” It wasn’t half of what he wanted to say– what he needed to say– but it was a start. He blew out a breath. “So, I’m sorry.”
Nandor was quiet for a moment, and Guillermo was glad for a minute to slow his heartbeat.
“I am sorry, too, you know, for…everything,” Nandor began. He spoke slowly, more deliberately, than Guillermo, who felt like he was always on the verge of rambling in comparison. He’d always admired the man for it, and let him take his time.
Nandor continued. “I realize now that I was shitty to you. Not just lately– actually I think I’ve been quite nice lately," he straightened his posture mockingly, "but for all of the times before. For a long time, you have not just been my familiar, Guillermo. You’ve been much more than that. And I think that…I did not know what to do with that. I think it scared me…a little bit.”
They continued along the tracks, but it felt to Guillermo like they may as well be walking through mud. His steps felt heavy, and his pulse quickened with every word exchanged between them. The tunnel felt like it could have stretched on for miles.
“When you were hypno–” Nandor began again, but paused, recoiling slightly.
“Wait, what? Hypnotized? I wasn’t hypnotized. I told you, that doesn’t work on me anymore.” Guillermo spat back defensively.
“Yes, of course, nevermind.”
Nandor kicked a rock. Why did he even say that? He shouldn’t have even mentioned the hypnosis to Guiller– no.
No. No more, he chastised himself. No more lying. If we’re going to do this, then we are going to fucking do this. There was no more hiding from the truth, no more mincing their words. Nandor was going to do the right thing this time, the brave thing. Because if he didn’t, then what was this all for?
“Actually, you were. You remember asking the Baron for help with the hypnoses?” He began, a bit more forcefully this time. There was no going back now.
“Yeah…”
“And the strange...dream...you had around that time?” Nandor asked, and Guillermo looked up at him in surprise, but nodded once.
“How did you... I never even mentioned that…” Nandor tried not to wince. He had to earn being let in again, this much he knew.
“Well, after you RUDELY played your games with us,” he glanced pointedly at Guillermo-- "Hey that was Colin, not me!"-- “you also had podcasted yourself into it overnight. The power of the Baron can best even you, it seems, slayer.” Nandor's gaze slid to Guillermo just in time to see him blush.
“You were ‘reset’, like we all were. Except your starting point was…me. It was us. The job. The house. You came to the house, looking for the familiar job I had posted. And I humored you. I gave you the interview. And I must admit, it was quite nice being worshipped again. You were so easily impressed by me and my very long and very scary vampire teeth.”
Guillermo giggled a bit, and it was Nandor’s turn to blush.
“You were just as I had remembered you, all those years ago,” Nandor said, staring into the distance. “I could have kept you that way. Under that hypnosis forever. It would have been so…easy. Another ten, fifteen years as my familiar, as if nothing happened. I could have even… done things differently,” Nandor was careful to avoid Guillermo’s gaze. “Better, perhaps.”
“But I had forgotten how… small you were.” Nandor said. Guillermo gave him a quizzical look.
“Not in size, or stature, of course. You were still you. But you were just so small… in yourself. You were naive, and shy, and not at all the confident warrior you are now. It was unsettling. You were Guillermo, but you were not My…Guillermo.” Nandor paused, daring a glance in Guillermo’s direction. Guillermo was looking down, lost in thought. Processing. It made Nandor nervous; what is he thinking?
He powered on, fussing nervously with his hands. “I could have erased all of the pain I had caused you. I could have saved even myself from all of my embarrassments, all of my fuck ups. All of the shitty things that I have done to you. But I knew that I could not. I knew then that I would gladly live in all my guilt and shame for the rest of my days if it meant that I would get to keep the happy moments and memories we have had together, as me and you. The real you.”
Nandor exhaled a breath he didn’t know he had been holding. He felt both a sense of great relief and a crushing weight on himself all at once. This could mean the beginning of something with Guillermo, or the end– but it was all in Guillermo’s hands now. All he could do was wait.
“Nandor, I–” Guillermo began, and every single muscle in Nandor’s body tensed.
But before Guillermo could continue, he began to see a light up ahead.
“I… I think I see a light… a light, or something, up ahead.” Guillermo said. Was it finally a platform? A way out of here? But before he began to let himself hope, he felt a slight rumble begin under his feet. He leaned forward, and squinted. “Oh shit, no, I– I think that’s a train.” He turned quickly to look at Nandor, who was facing the opposite way. “Nandor–”
“No, THAT is a train,” Nandor said, and pointed in the opposite direction, to a light that was much closer and much brighter than the haze that Guillermo had picked up on in front of them.
Fuck.
It was fine, they had time, Guillermo thought to himself, glancing back periodically to keep an eye on the train while they hastened their pace forward.
“Shit, I don’t even see an end to this tunnel!” Guillermo yelled. They could feel the rumbling getting stronger now.
“Shit, shit, shit,” Nandor said, and jumped, turning into a bat… before immediately turning back into his normal self, landing next to Guillermo again. “Fuck…Sorry... I forgot,” he said, with a sheepish, apologetic grin.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t! Fuck!” Guillermo was panicking now.
“We have to get as far away as we can. We have to start running. Now!” Nandor said, grabbing Guillermo’s hand and tugging him along as he began to book it down the tracks as fast as he could manage them.
They ran and ran, but it wasn’t enough. Guillermo watched as their shadows began to lengthen and darken at a frightening pace.
Then, he stumbled.
A horn blared.
All of the air had left Guillermo’s lungs and had begun to swirl all around him as his back hit something hard and cold.
Was he dead?
No, he was upright, standing. At least there was that.
When he finally caught his breath, he slowly peeked one of his eyes open, and was met with Nandor’s broad chest, the man towering over him. Nandor’s arm was extended, forearm braced against the wall high above Guillermo’s head. It was forming a shelter with his cape for Guillermo, to save him from the high speed winds rushing past them.
Guillermo looked up at this man– this man who had just saved him. Hadn’t left him behind. Who had just poured his heart out to him and who chose him, again and again, for over a decade.
How had he been so stupid?
Everything he ever really wanted had been right under his nose– well, above– his nose the whole time. And he had kept running from it. Chasing after stupid goals and stupider men when Nandor was everything he’d wanted - whether vampirism was part of the equation or not.
The train continued whipping past. The screech of metal on metal was so loud– there would be no talking. But Guillermo didn’t need any more words. And he didn’t want to waste another second.
When Nandor finally opened his own eyes, he was met only with his own long, dark hair followed quickly by the sensation of a hand gently brushing it off his forehead, fingers running through it to push behind his ear. Guillermo brushed his cheek along the way, sending a shiver through him. He kept his hand there, keeping the hair from flying out again.
Guillermo saw Nandor mouth something that looked like his name, perhaps in question, but knew it was futile to respond with words.
Instead, he stood on tiptoes, and used his hand to gently guide Nandor’s head down to meet him in a kiss.
Nandor’s eyes widened in surprise, before he squeezed them shut and pushed forward to meet Guillermo in ecstasy. He took his non-protective hand and held a strong grip on Guillermo’s jaw. He rolled his body against him, further pressing them into the wall and away from the train– safety first, after all.
Electricity from the tracks zipped through their veins as they deepened the kiss, nerves alight in all the places where their bodies met. Nandor mindlessly stroked Guillermo’s cheek with his thumb as their tongues worked in tandem, equal parts hard and slow.
Guillermo was the first to break, taking a breath to look into Nandor’s eyes. There was a question there, as if to say, Is this okay? Are we good? and Nandor answered in turn with another kiss. This time it was softer, pressing all along Guillermo’s lips. Nandor’s mouth replaced his hand, and kissed along Guillermo’s jaw. His free hand moved to squeeze the soft flesh at his hip as he pressed in even closer.
Suddenly, there was a loud WHOOSH, and they turned together to see the back of the train speeding off in the distance. Nandor turned back to Guillermo, resting their foreheads together.
“We have GOT to find a safer way of working through our issues,” Guillermo said, and Nandor laughed, beaming.