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The clash of steel on enchantment-reinforced steel rang across the small sparring arena, followed by a horrendous screech as Lian’s opponent attempted– poorly– to slide his blade down her own to threaten her hand. It took her half a second to disengage, and then the healer-yaksha leapt back to gain maneuvering room. “That was an amateur move, Yehuan. Have you forgotten so much since the war? A trick like that is liable to get your blade bound while another attacker stabs your back.”
Yehuan spat to one side, hefting his sword as he shifted back into a ready stance. “This is a sparring match. There are no other attackers to worry about. Quit trying to sound so superior, the only reason you’re better with a sword is your center is lower. I bet I’d kick your ass if you took a male form.”
“Do you really think I only practice in my preferred form?” Really, she’d be surprised if any of them stuck to practicing in just one shape, if they had a choice. That would be as bad as neglecting your offhand.
And she thought that nonsense about her sleeping her way into her position as the Healer-General had died out centuries ago.
Well, it was easy enough to prove her point. Lian started to shift–
What the fuck?
Crippling pain raced through her, based around the healer-yaksha’s abdomen. She immediately stopped and reversed her attempt to change form and held up a hand to pause the match while she did a quick self-reading. Not as dependable as getting another healer’s viewpoint, perceptions tended to skew, but for an initial assessment it should suffice.
There didn’t seem to be any injuries that would hamper a shift, not that she thought there were. So why—
In her womb.
She was…
Dread and excitement filled her near-equally. She would love to have kids, she was sure her mate would too, but… it hadn’t gone well, for the other yaksha who’d tried. To put it mildly.
“Lian?” Yehuan’s worried voice penetrated her shock, and she shook her head.
“Nothing to worry about, but I’ll have to owe you a rematch, sorry. Tomorrow?” There was no reason she shouldn’t be able to spar tomorrow. This early, being egg-heavy shouldn’t interfere with anything, and discussions with her mate would likely be settled by then. If not, well, she could always send word.
Yehuan shook his head before answering, “I have a patrol tomorrow. You’ll have to wait until the day after to see proof I am the better swordwielder.”
“Riiight.” Lian shook her head, tempted to just settle the yaksha’s arrogance then and there– but she’d hardly be in top form, distracted as she was. “Day after tomorrow it is then. Same time, same place.”
He teleported away, the show-off, and Lian headed towards her abode on foot– albeit moving quickly.
Why now? Why couldn’t this have happened in a few more centuries? Surely they’d have found a solution for the karma problem by then. And with fertility rates as low as they were for adepti, it shouldn’t have happened nearly this fast, even bonded. Maybe if it had happened as part of the mate-bonding, but now? Centuries later?
Lian didn’t even pause as she stepped through the pass-through, heading straight for their nest and grabbing a pillow to wrap around. She didn’t even know how to feel about this. The mammalian yaksha who’d tried to have children… the dams had been ripped apart from the inside, killed by their own karma-corrupted unborn young. But it had happened late. None of the egg-bearers had had the chance to test it, yet. If children could be saved by being laid in eggs…
“Lian, what’s wrong?” She hadn’t even noticed her mate entering the abode– a moment later Menogias’ arms were around her, holding her safe and stable.
The healer-yaksha hadn’t even realized she was shaking, until that moment. Tendrils of dark thought intruded, suggesting it was because she was insane, losing track of the world outside her own mind– she shoved them down as usual, and turned to bury her face in her mate’s chest. His worry echoed through the bond, but so did that steady feeling of support he always seemed to radiate, and for a long moment Lian didn’t answer. She just felt, and let his stability stabilize her in turn.
“Lian, please talk to me. I felt you through the bond, something happened, what—” Oops. That stability was getting tinged with the frantic edge of panic, now.
“Calm down, love. It's not anything urgent, really, just… unexpected.” She hesitated, trying to figure out the best way to start. “I was sparring with Yehuan, and–”
“Did he hurt you? If he–”
“Meno,” Lian sighed. “Let me finish?”
“Ah… sorry.”
She waited a beat, to make sure he wasn’t going to try to start up again, before continuing. “I tried to change form, and it hurt like hell. So I paused the match for a quick self-reading–”
“I thought you said those weren’t worth doing, and it was always better for a healer to go to another healer?”
“Meno.” She loved her mate. Really, she did. “Please let me finish.”
“Sorry.” Menogias sounded sheepish that time, and embarrassment echoed through the bond, which hopefully meant he’d stop interrupting. For now.
“Meno…” It was harder to get the words out than she’d expected. “...I’m eggheavy.”
Lian’s mate, her lovely, geo-brained mate, stared blankly at her. “What?”
“I’m carrying eggs.”
The staring continued, and Lian sighed internally. It looked like this would take a few minutes for him to process. Unfortunately, now that the words were out, sitting still was… not comfortable.
Maybe she could make some tea while he got his thoughts straight.
The healer-yaksha’s own thoughts refused to stop spinning, though, and she was hardly even aware of digging out the familiar cups and pot, or of using her element to fill the kettle. She settled back into herself as familiar, long fingers surrounded hers, taking the kettle from her shaking hands as her mate took over the teamaking.
“I’ll get that, Li. You don’t need to push yourself right now.” She didn't really know how to respond, but didn’t really need to. Aloud, anyway. Their emotions bouncing back and forth along the bond were communication enough, as the general held her with one arm and set the water to boiling with the other.
A few minutes later, the pair were curled up in their nest with hot tea, and the discussion couldn’t be put off any longer.
“How did this happen?”
Lian snorted. “The usual way, presumably.”
Menogias glared at her, and she sighed. “Sorry. But that’s all the answer I have for you, Meno. Even with our bond boosting fertility rates, we shouldn’t have been able to conceive this fast, not with how busy we are. But there’s no denying they’re there.”
“Then you’re sure it’s eggs? Not live offspring?” Fear shot through the bond, and she couldn’t help responding the same way for a moment. She’d been on hand to be tapped to help one of the would-be dams, and the images burned into her mind…
“We should check with another healer, and it’s a bit early to be truly sure, but… I think so. There are multiple, and since monkeys aren’t exactly prone to large litters, seems likely my own heritage took the lead.” The formation of the children usually followed the pattern of the bearing parent’s form, anyway, inasmuch as how they would be birthed.
Her beloved hesitated a moment, and she felt the indecision and hesitance on his end of the bond. Lian tried to send reassurance, but trying to send anything on purpose was unreliable at best.
Maybe it had worked, maybe not, but he spoke up before long. “Does that mean… is there a chance that…”
Hope flared briefly through the bond, and tears pricked at Lian’s eyes. Of course he wanted children. So did she. But that was something all the yaksha thought had been taken from them, since the deaths.
But none of the bearing yaksha had been of a species to lay eggs. If the offspring were separated from the parent before they were developed enough to be affected by karma… Laid, and then left alone to hatch, as much as possible…
“I don’t know, Meno. If they’re eggs, then maybe, but…” Lian chewed on her lip. “You realize we wouldn’t be able to raise them, until karma is cured, right? Anything more than the occasional brief visit would risk condemning them to our own fate…”
“I know.” Menogias was silent for a moment, visibly putting his thoughts in order. “I know that. But… if all of you do find a cure, one day we can be the parents they deserve, and we can find them good foster parents until then. And if you don’t… if we both… well, then there’d be…”
He trailed off, but Lian knew what he couldn’t quite say. If they died, like so many others, there’d still be something left of them.
And while her heart hurt to think of their children never knowing them except as occasional visitors, of never really getting to know them, to shower them with love and learning… she couldn’t help but agree. At least they’d be alive. And there was no doubt in her mind that Rex Lapis would ensure they were well cared for, if she and Menogias were gone.
“So that’s it then. We’re going to try,” she whispered.
“I guess we are.” Her mate was still as stone for a moment, then took her cup from her hands and set it with his own to one side.
The moment they were out of his hands, she was holding him as though her life depended on it, and he was holding her just as tightly.