Work Text:
He finally came back to Inazuma City after being away for seven years. I'm surprised he even came back for the yearly class reunion. Still looks the same as ever, yet with a tinge of maturity, as if he's been through so many journeys in life. I'm envious of it.
Yet I can always bring myself to forgive him, as he's still as breathtaking as ever. I watch him as he straightens his black tie and lightly combes through his now sleek high ponytail. He's become quite a charmer hasn't he.
Too bad I can't say it out loud, it's better this way anyway. We rarely even talk, what would make him think to approach and strike a convo with me anyway? It's not like our shared childhood anymore.. Those days are forever gone along with the business arrangement we were supposed to have by now.
I know it was better this way, look at him. He looks so much happier compared to before! Meanwhile me, still pining from afar. Meanwhile he must be here with his girlfriend or boyfriend.
Except I don't see him with anyone. No ring either. How odd.
I take a sip of my Margarita, and walk on over to Thoma. I tap his shoulder, albeit hesitantly, "I'm sorry you had to accompany me today."
He simply chuckled, and shrugged me off, "Milady, I'm your bodyguard, remember? The secretary of the renowned Kamisato Tech being kidnapped or robbed wouldn't make a good headline, would it?"
"Yes, but-"
"No buts! Just enjoy your time, I'll watch from afar," I pouted a little.
"Thoma, don't strip yourself of fun just because of me."
He smirked, "I never said that."
"But then how-"
"Hey! I think someone behind you wants to talk to you-"
"Huh?" I turn around, I see no one. I turned back just to see Thoma striking a conversation with some ladies I don't recognize. I see what he meant now. He slightly looks my way and winks. Ew. He's not Inazuma's "fixer" or "womanizer"-- or whatever the hell he is for nothing. The worst part is that it's his kind of fun and that these girls are actually serious about him. Whatever, I don't want to know how he deals with these situations. Everything seems fine at the end of the day.
I look towards 'him' again, Kaedehara Kazuha. He's talking with Sangonomiya Kokomi, a secretary at Watasumi's Tech, an ally company. Me and her were well acquainted due to similar backgrounds and also ran student council together. We talk occasionally, but otherwise we aren't really friends.
Nkw thinking about it some more, she and Kazuha were quite close. I mean, she's pretty, despite now having short hair. Even her well spoken voice is pretty. A literal natural born genius at its finest, unlike me.
I look away, I don't want to eavesdrop anymore and find out that she could literally be his girlfriend. Nope. My heart has already been broken since a decade and a half ago.
Yet I look back towards them anyway. Why am I not still over him? Why is he so attractively blinding as if he's the only one in the universe that's for me? Why is he so kind, gentle, and sweet no matter the person he seems to be talking to? Why does he consider his enemies or dismiss them politely? He's so hot when he does it too-
Stop.
He's so poetic, strong, and morally strong willed. I could admire him all day-
How uncharacteristic of me. I am a Kamisato, first and foremost!
Despite being the loner I am, I try to pay my attention somewhere else and look busy, but my peripheral vision betrays me. Sangonomiya is wearing a short black fitted dress with skinny straps, highlighting her curves. Her heels make her height almost match Kazuha and his daring red suit. They would make such a great couple, wouldn't they?
I wallow for the next few hours, drinking my sorrows away while making small talk occasionally. The usual update that may seem boring to many, simply because they have a life and I don't.
I've already committed the rest of my life to stay trapped but for the betterment of my family. It's fine. I find it fun sometimes. It really isn't a bother.
Before my thoughts keep running, someone taps my shoulder, "Yaka, loosen up a little! You're not at a business gathering, you're at a party!" I know that voice.
I sighed, taking a sip of my water. I don't want to get any more tipsy than I already am, "Miya, you know that parties were never my thing. I'm just here because you forced me to."
"Well, I heard there will be new hunks if we come! You have such a nonexistent love life!"
I feel like dying.
My best friend from forever, still the same as ever, both physically and mentally, still never gave up on me, "Stop staring daggers, go get em tiger!"
"Miya-"
I feel a breath near my ear, and their warm hand touches my shoulder, as if in reassurance, "Naganohara, if Miss Kamisato here doesn't feel like talking to any new guys, I'll accompany her instead."
Huh?
I recognize that voice from anywhere.
He..
What?
I turned around, and removed his hand. I didn't notice his expression slightly faltering. I don't show my bewilderment, "Kaedehara, long time no see!"
He smiles oh so gently at me, I could explode here and there, "How have you been?"
Yoimiya seems to sense something that I couldn't sense, because she moves her way towards Thoma instead. Serves her right.
"I've been the same, as expected. But I'm pretty content with it," my smile doesn't reach my eyes, and I know he notices it, because he moves to a different topic.
"Sorry I suddenly came back all of a sudden without saying anything," he scratches his head. Why are you apologizing? You did nothing wrong. You're living your life to the fullest, my opinion shouldn't matter.
I instead say, "You never say anything to me."
Wait. What?
It's the alcohol acting up, isn't it?
Kazuha's eyes widened slightly, "Ayaka, I'm sorry that we haven't been on the best terms. Truth be told, I wanted things to return back like the old times, which is why I came here-"
Every word he said felt like a blur, I couldn't take it anymore. Whatever I just said screwed everything up! So I ran out of the venue. Ran with all my pitiful strength until my legs became sore and bled after tripping over some leftover cigarettes. He wouldn't chase after someone like me anyway-
I couldn't get up. I started to sob, unbearing of my status, but I stopped caring. I sobbed and sobbed until I started having trouble breathing. Why do I always screw up every opportunity I get with him?
I lied, we rarely talked because I pushed him away. All those times he tried to approach me, I cowardly ran away just like right now. I was scared that my weird feelings for him would ruin every wall I tried to build up for the sake of our future. Yet I foolishly, selfishly complain that he never talks to me. Idiot! Who would talk to someone who made it clear that everything meaningful that happened between them was something kept in the past?
..I saved Miss Kamisato, but I hurted Ayaka even more.
Sometimes I wish I were dead. I'm mentally unstable, "liking" a guy who would never like me back.
I didn't even need to ask if he was dating Sangonomiya, I bet he was. Earlier, the way she excitedly walked over to Kujou, who was with Itto in hand, exchanging words between Kuki and Shikanoin, whose hands were also intertwined-
Fuck.
It's not surprising everyone at that reunion has some significant other.
I'm always the outlier, aren't I?
Heavily studious, always studying while everyone was partying. Took many extracurriculars and spent all my free time perfecting and honing flower arranging, tea ceremony, archery, kendo, calligraphy, nothing else that isn't noble worth naming.
I'm just a bore. Not surprising at all. Nothing about me is surprising, I'm such an easy book to read. He stayed away because I was creepy, weren't I?
He was most likely approaching me to settle the dust once and for all..
I just noticed it was raining. It's okay, I'd rather get sick anyway and hide away in my room the next day. I'm surprised a car hasn't came and ran over me yet-
--
When I woke up, I felt very lightheaded. Where was I?
I reached my shaky hand and reached it towards my forehead. It's really warm. At least I can stay home..
Where was I again?
I looked over to my surroundings, and noticed the bed wasn't familiar. The bedroom door suddenly opened, and I hastily got up to punch the perpetrator in the head until my vision got blurry. I feel dizzy. Trying to stabilize myself, the perpetrator gently catches me.
The perpetrator.. gently catches me?
"Easy there.. Oh Ayaka, what have I done?"
Does this perpetrator know me? Does this perpetrator actually acknowledge what they're doing- No more questions asked, my head aches. I'm fooling around with myself the more my head spins.
So I finally looked up, and oh no. It's... "Kaedehara?"
He hugs me so tight, I feel like crying again. Before I could even respond or hold my already broken composure, my tears slipped out, which reached down to his shoulders.
He gives a worried look, "Ayaka, can you hear me?"
I have no more energy to even think, might as well be honest with him, "..Yes?"
He squeezes his embrace tighter, "Okay, good. We can talk later, but for right now, go back to sleep while I take care of you and prepare you some soup."
I subconsciously nuzzled into his damp shoulder, "..Okay."
His face softens, "I've already informed Thoma so no need to worry."
"Okay.."
"Let me carry you to bed."
--
I wake up to the clack of a tray on the bedside table, "Sorry, did I wake you?"
He shouldn't be so sweet towards me.. I turn to the source of the noise, "No worries, Kaedehara. If anything, I should apologize for everything."
He shakes his head, worry evident on his face, "How do you feel?"
I was about to confess to him by accident, until I realized he meant my sickness, "Hm? O-oh, much better actually. Thank you for letting me use your bed."
He lightly smiles, "No problem," he takes the bowl of piping hot vegetable soup and gestures it towards me. I was about to take it until he scoops a mouthful with the spoon and moves it toward my mouth, "Here."
My eyes darted from his fixed gaze. My cheeks turned slightly red from embarrassment, "Kazuha, I can feed myself, you know.."
His eyes widened, "You called me by my first name."
Now he thinks I'm weird again, doesn't he, "Ah, sorry.. I don't think too well when I'm sick or hungover."
He shakes his head, though I don't see it, eyes still looking towards the side, the clock reads 12 pm, "No, no.. I like the way you say it."
Huh? My cheeks flush a deeper shade of red, "Kaedehara, don't just casually say that!"
He cocks his head, "What do you mean?"
I finally looked towards him, "This whole situation makes it seem like we are lovers.."
"Oh.."
He slightly flushes. Cute. He's still as innocent as ever.
Because he's so cute, I give in, blowing the soup then letting the spoon go inside my mouth, "Delicious."
"Ayaka, you flatter me."
"Do I?"
He doesn't clarify. He instead keeps feeding me until the soup is finished.
--
The awaiting conversation sits on our tongues even after Kazuha dismissed himself to clean and tidy his apartment. Yes, apparently he still had an apartment here despite being out of town for a while. In the meanwhile, I changed to some spare clothes I had in my purse, was doing business calls and calming down my frantic brother and bodyguard. Once Kazuha came back, breathtaking as usual, he sat right by me on the bed and updated me on his endeavors, occasionally butting in and giving updates on my static life as well. I don't mention how much I feel depressed because of it. I feel envious again, yet I shut the feeling down, because maybe us becoming friends again won't be such a bad idea.
Or maybe it's because I terribly missed him.
My walls are breaking slowly, "So, are you and Sangonomiya a thing?"
He seems taken aback, shown by a frown, "What do you mean?"
"..You two aren't dating?"
"What makes you say that?"
I..
How do I respond to that without seeming like a creep?
"I heard Sangonomiya talking about you." A blatant lie, I didn't want him to think I was assuming.. Which I was.
Kazuha cupped his chin, "She wouldn't cheat on Gorou like that. Maybe you misheard? Or she was just talking about how much longer my hair became."
The rest of his sentence became white noise, "She.. and Gorou, dating??"
"Yes, was that not obvious?"
I feel foolish, "Nevermind. I.. was too isolated to even know, sorry."
"Ayaka, now you're apologizing when you told me not to. We were both focusing on different priorities, and that's completely fine."
The walls are showing cracks, "But.. Kazuha, I admit I was not the most fair to you."
Still, he continued on, "I admire you for committing your time to your family, it's very admirable."
"But.."
"I know. It's became a burden over time, hasn't it?"
...
"I feel even more guilty now that you're saying it too. Why do I loathe to continue committing my time for the betterment of others?"
He puts a hand on my shoulder, "Aya.."
"This is my fate. I shouldn't complain," I clench my fists until it almost starts to bleed.
"Ayaka, it's okay to be selfish and wanting something different, or a break for yourself once in a while. You're human."
"But this is what I chose! I knew what responsibilities I have on my shoulders, yet.. I still chose it."
I can't dare myself to look at him.
"...So, this really is the reason why you distanced from me."
"Yeah.."
Kazuha cupped my chin and forced me to look at him, "I almost thought for a second that you hated me."
What is he trying to imply?
"I mean, you really tried so hard to avoid me.. I thought because the whole engagement ended due to my father's antics and the whole bankruptcy.."
I leaned into his touch, "Kazuha, that wasn't your fault. You were so young."
He chuckled, as if he had a revelation, "Young, and foolish enough to keep chasing after you."
I blushed, not believing what he had just said, "What?"
"Why else do you keep thinking I tried to talk to you? I'm not as naive as I used to be. I still wanted our relationship to be like how it was.. We genuinely loved each other."
I knew what he was going to say next.
"And I still love you," and so he leaned in for a kiss, but I didn't want to reciprocate.
My breath has shaking, "..Why me?"
His eyes widened as I continued.
"I'm an idiot, you know. I'm weird, creepy at times.. An outlier, utterly selfish, foolish, always screwing up everything-"
"Ayaka-"
"Ugly, not naturally smart, extremely suicidal-"
"Ayaka-"
"I don't deserve all of this!"
I scream, because I can't take this anymore. Tears are pooling down my face.
He pulls me in closer, "Ayaka, listen to me. You are not an idiot, you are extremely selfless and work hard for others to be happy. In fact, I wish you could be more selfish and weird and an 'outlier' because I love that side of you."
I close my eyes in disbelief, "Kazuha.."
He leans in closer, "People make mistakes. And if anything, you're too harsh on yourself. Relax a little, everyone tells you that all the time. They can see things you may not be able to see, and that's fine! I'm here for you, Aya."
I hesitantly open my eyes, "Is this a dream?"
Kazuha continues, "I ask myself the same question. I don't deserve to be sitting here with the prettiest girl in the world."
I furiously shake my head, "Stop.."
He doesn't stop, "You're so radiating, you came so far, Aya. I don't think I'll ever stop showering you with compliments if you let me."
I keep shaking my head in disbelief, "..This can't be real."
His forehead touches mine, "I'll stop you from ending your life as long as you let me back into your life."
I whisper, "I don't deserve this."
He whispers back, "I should be saying the same thing."
I murmured, "..Do you actually forgive me?"
He softly says, "..I've always did."
"Why?"
"Because I love you."
I averted my eyes and looked at my ragged body.
"You're beautiful inside and out, Aya," As if he read my mind about me being self-deprecating.
I start to realize how we complete each other. Autumn and spring. Summer and winter. Carefree and careful. Our shared history. Our personalities.
Sighing, "I wish I could believe you."
He turns my face towards him again, "You don't have to right now. But it won't stop me from showering you with love and affection."
This man.
I couldn't help it, I leaned in for a bittersweet kiss, confirming and conveying my answer towards him.
Because I love him, I'm willing to bring him back into my life as much as it seems so difficult to manage.
Surprised, he matched the fervor energy, taking me aback. I desperately cling onto his shirt, relishing his delicate, yet irresistible scent. His hands move to my waist, rising to the inside of my shirt, and I exhale deeply.
I didn't want to think, but all along.. I know I love him. And he knows it too. I don't even care that the Tenryou rival company and Chisato are calling me. I don't even care about the doorbell ringing of a delivery. Right now, all that remains in the world is him.
Our tongues dance, his hand combs through my now longer hair, and I feel like I could remain here forever.