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She's not sure how long they sit there. It feels like the world could move on without them, losing them in time. Simultaneously feeling as though the world has created a pocket in time to give them this moment. It can't last. They never can. The moments Violet begs to hold onto. They pass and become shrouded in dust and overgrown with weeds as time passes. Buried under new memories.
But she will hold onto this one. She'll till the weeds and brush the dirt off. Keeping it fresh for as long as she can. For as long as time will let her.
Vi, cradled perfectly in Caitlyn's lap. They fit effortlessly like two puzzle pieces. She's silent. Cait's jacket has been tenderly placed over her shoulders; an act of pure affection. There's no vents down here to catch on her exposed skin. They laze in the after affects of their harmonious revelation. The world around them is silent, now, matching the beat of Vi's quiet breaths.
All her thoughts, the ones temporarily tucked away inside the cracks and crevices of her mind, they aren't so silent. Not anymore. They want to see the light. The pulse point between Caitlyn's thighs, positioned directly beneath Vi's fingers, she can feel the exact moment Cait's beating heart steadies. It's calming. It's freighting. A reminder; it wont last.
A battle that promises so much loss. It's presence imminent. They could lose each other. They could lose everything. She wants to frame this moment; to tuck it away for safe keeping is to risk losing it in the noise.
Jinx. The only solace, for what little It's worth, she won't be there to get caught in the collateral. Foolish to think the farther she is from the epicenter the safer she'll be. But Vi has to hope. Has to believe there is some grace. The scale cannot be so tipped beyond their favor to suffer endlessly.
Cait let's them sit there in silence. Vi wants to thank her for that. It sounds ludicrous. But it's not the silence that makes her gracious.
Vi wonders if her thoughts are heavy too. She knows they are. Of course they are. She doesn't have to look up to know this. But she does. It's the first time she has moved, the first time either of them have, since. Her body feels like it's waking up. As though she's been cabled up to a battery and given a jumpstart.
She expects to find the intensity of battle brewing on Cait's face. Expects to find focus. Determination. Battle Strategies. But the lines between Caitlyn's brows aren't those of a veteran fighter, or a commander, they're softer. It's still just her Cait. Her cupcake. Though her eyes, they stare off somewhere in the distance, far away and unfocused. Fingers play at the ends of Vi's hair in mindless contented comfort.
Whatever it is that's on her mind has her paralyzed with focus.
Vi wants to move. Wants to reach out and remind Cait that she's there. Not because she feels as though she's been forgotten; but to remind her that she is there. For her. With her. In a way that transcends their physical status.
She doesn't have to.
Cait blinks away the haze. The color of her irises even seems to grow clearer. She looks down, meeting Violet with her eyes, there's a string that plays at the corner of her lips. She doesn't smile though. Her fingers are no longer toying at the ends of Vi's hair; she's not sure why but it makes her fingers twitch at the point of Cait's pulse. There's a heavy breath, Vi watches the way Cait's chest rises and falls from where she's positioned. It feels like an anchor that she's setting. Reality pulling them both from the nook they've settled.
Her hand moves from the base of Vi's neck, "let's take care of this," her voice is low and weighted. Defiant. Clinging to this moment as long as they can. Her fingers are careful in the way they take hold of Vi's hand, thumb barely grazing the angry skin on her knuckles. It stings. She doesn't flinch away from Cait's touch; she's been in worse situations, physically. But somehow, the little pain that makes her fingers twitch involuntarily, it hurts more than she can explain. Jinx is gone. Powder? Gone since before she could even say goodbye.
She wants to apologize. To her younger self; she couldn't save everyone. She couldn't save anyone.
"Violet." Caitlyn's voice, it carries a tranquility that hurts. As if every part of Vi's mind is being projected on her face in tandem for her to read.
Vi closes her eyes against the noise. The static. The voices. The anger. Her fingers balling around the fabric of her jacket.
"We'll find her." The words ring in her ears, she doesn't fight the way her body curls into Cait's stomach. She wants to scream. She wants to drown out the pain in the only way she knows how. With her fists. She knows how to fight away the physical. But her hands can't reach into her own mind. They can't silence the guilt. The regret. The shame.
"We will find her." Cait repeats, though her voice hardens around her words this time, hands wrap around Vi's clenched fist, "I promise."
For a moment Vi only hears her heart rushing in her ears. Pounding at her skull. She marinates in the beating, exhaling jagged breaths until she can fully unclench the tension from her fingers. She sits up slowly, letting the jacket fall to the dusty ground.
She doesn't get to her feet right away, though. She needs a moment to focus. War. The word makes her vision blur, but that's what it is. And it's not something she can enter with her mind untethered.
There has to be a world for jinx. Even if Vi's not in it.
Caitlyn's shadow eclipses the light, shrouding Vi in momentary darkness, she looks up to see her outstretched hand. Waiting. As she's done many times before. An offering. She doesn't say anything. She doesn't need to. Vi nods, accepting the gesture without a second thought.