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“You need to improve the security of this place.” The muffled sound of boots hitting the floor reached Jing Yuan’s ears from where he was perched on the edge of his lavish bed. 

“Mm? I can assure you that there is no issue with security. I dismissed everyone beforehand. You didn’t need to crawl in through the window.” Jing Yuan turned his head, a small, coy smile playing on his lips. “I was waiting for you, after all.” 

Blade grunted in acknowledgment, moving out of the reach of his peripheral view. His clothes rustled in a manner that indicated he bent over to remove his shoes. How polite of him. 

Even after all this time…

He wasn’t in a place to make judgment though. Old habits die hard for the remnants of the High Cloud Quintet.

Jing Yuan exhaled wistfully, staring at the artificial moon beyond the doors of the balcony. Although the day and night cycle on the Luofu was fake, he still felt weary when the sun began to set, leaving only a cold chill in its wake. 

Blade moved closer. Though he was a different man now, the sound of his footsteps remained the same. A loud shuffling—right foot first and then left. He leaned more on his right foot when he walked; the impact slightly louder than his left. Such familiarity in his movements, yet such a disconnect between he and Yingxing. 

He’d never dare treading into that territory though. Not at the risk of losing the scraps he had left of his old friend. 

Jing Yuan’s emotional, weak heart yearned for Blade to be his again. Of course, he knew that his pitiful wish would never come true. Blade had started his life, no matter how unwilling he was, anew. Those old feelings had likely long since dissipated in the haze of Mara. And yet…

Jing Yuan could never truly let him go. He knew he was undeniably selfish for holding onto him, but in his many centuries alive, the only trial he couldn’t overcome was letting the past be in the past. Though he held everything close to his chest and swallowed any resurgence of old grief, it always lingered. One day the Mara would overtake him too. Today was not that day. 

“You’re thinking too loud.” Blade rasped, standing behind him stoically. 

Jing Yuan smiled to himself. He could detect some shred of concern behind his gruff exterior, but teasing him would only make him more defensive. Some things…never changed. 

“Just reminiscing.” He murmured, tapping his fingers against his knee gently. They both knew what he meant by ‘reminiscing’ though neither of them would acknowledge it. “Come, sit next to me.” 

It was an obvious diversion, but one that Blade did not outwardly question. Instead, he heeded the word of the general and sat on the bed stiffly—like he had never sat on a bed before. 

Jing Yuan huffed; a barely concealed laugh. 

“What’s so funny?” 

“Mm.” The general shook his head fondly. “Nothing of note.” 

Blade grunted, not questioning his line of thought. 

In a different life, a different time, Yingxing would have stubbornly argued with him until he eventually cracked. That world was not this one. 

How does one learn how to let go? Morbidly, he thought he’d die before he ever learned how. 

Heavy silence lapsed between the two. Jing Yuan, lost in his own thoughts, merely closed his eyes and listened to the chirping of birds settling down for the artificial night. 

“Stop.” Blade was suddenly a lot closer than he remembered, gripping his shoulder with slightly too much force. His brows were furrowed, his face pinched in a manner that seemed so familiar and yet so different. “You’re too quiet.”

He cracked a smile at that. “Are you admitting that you like the sound of my voice?”  

Blade pulled his hand away with a scowl and refused to answer. So pouty over just a bit of teasing…how cute. 

“You…” He looked like he was trying to force the words from his throat—unsure of how to phrase his thinly veiled concern. “Aren’t usually so quiet.” 

Jing Yuan raised an eyebrow playfully. “Ah? Do I talk too much or do you just talk too little? How does it feel to have a taste of your own medicine?” 

“You are…deflecting.” 

Jing Yuan’s already wobbly smile faltered slightly before snapping back up. “Deflecting what? I’m just trying to tease you.” He cocked his head in a manner of pseudo innocence. “Don’t tell me I’m too old to trip you up. I already feel decrepit as it is. Taking a blow like this to my ego would surely kill me.” 

Blade said nothing, staring placidly. Jing Yuan desperately wished he knew what the other man was thinking. His eyes, now devoid of any shred of light, bore into his own with an inscrutable emotion. 

All he could do was blink back slowly. 

Eventually, Blade relented and looked towards the window. 

Jing Yuan sighed softly, the sound echoing through the quiet room. “It’s been a while.”

Blade grunted in affirmation. Truly, the last time they had seen each other was before his old master and her accomplice had been whisked away to the Yuque for questioning. The space between then and now had been occupied with planning for the Wardance as well as slowly gathering evidence to prove his innocence. And now…

He closed his eyes and the built up exhaustion suddenly rushed through him. Making his case towards the other Arbiter Generals, the escape of Hoolay and the destruction that followed, the death of Hoolay, confronting the Vidyadhara preceptor, learning the truth behind the traveler and his old master’s plans, canceling and restarting the Wardance…it was all too much for his weary body. 

His hand, which had curled into a shaking fist without his knowledge, was grabbed suddenly and squeezed tightly. When he opened his eyes, Blade was staring far more intensely this time. 

“No need to fret.” Jing Yuan murmured, tilting his head to the side with a gentle smile. With his free hand, he patted the hand that Blade was resting on his own. “You’re bleeding through your bandages.” He remarked calmly. 

Blade retracted his hand, paying no mind to the torn, blood soaked bandages. “It will heal.” 

“I know.” 

Jing Yuan grabbed his hand anyway; Blade kept his arm taut, but did not wrench it away. 

“You ran into trouble?” The general speculated, amusement layering his words. He only hoped for both of their sakes that no cloud knights were involved. Though if they were, he would have surely heard about it by now. “Let me change the bandages.”

Blade grunted, looking away with narrowed eyes. Despite his disgruntled demeanor, he still did not pull away. “It will heal.” He reiterated. 

Jing Yuan fought the urge to sigh through his nose. He would have to take a different approach then. “I don’t want my bedsheets to get blood on them. Don’t fuss.” 

Finally, the other man stilled completely and let his arm go slack. 

Jing Yuan unwrapped the fragments of bloodied bandages with skilled movements. Sure enough, the wound had already healed itself. The muscle that had been sliced open had been forcibly knit back together by the twisted ‘power’ of abundance, leaving nothing but a scar layered over another scar. 

Neither of them said anything as the general stood and disposed of the soiled bandages. Neither of them said anything as he returned with new ones. And neither of them said anything when he rewrapped the arm with tender, practiced motions. 

When he was finished, Jing Yuan looked up through his eyelashes to find Blade staring at him once more. There was an unreadable look in his eyes again. It was one of intense emotion, that was for certain, but it was to such an extreme degree that he couldn’t even begin to parse. 

They retained eye contact for mere seconds before Jing Yuan pulled away entirely. The freshly bandaged hand fell limply against his thigh, pulled away hastily after the impact. 

He was getting too old for this. The yearning, the wishing for more, the desire to keep people close to his chest. It was selfish of him to want so much when he had such a fortunate life. 

If only he could cut the ties that shackled him to his past. If only he could be content for what he has and not what he could have . Longing was such a fickle thing, wasn’t it?

“You’ve certainly been busy.” Jing Yuan spoke suddenly, shattering the strange silence that had lapsed. “Not causing as much chaos, at least. The last time I checked, your bounty had only gone up 2 million more credit.” He laughed under his breath at his own comment. 

Blade said nothing again and his smile thinned into exhaustion. “There hasn’t been much time to check the news recently though.” He mused. 

“I know.” The other man responded softly. It always startled Jing Yuan when his voice shifted from raspy and coarse to a quiet rumbling. 

“Mm.” Jing Yuan hummed his assent. “The destruction caused…it will certainly take a while to clean up.” 

Blade moved surprisingly quickly, catching even Jing Yuan’s sharp reflexes off guard. Before he knew it, he was on his back with Blade hovering over him. There was an all-consuming look in those dull eyes, though it was overshadowed by the potent disquiet. 

It was so jarring that he couldn’t help but laugh. It was just a soft exhalation of air, but enough for Blade to relax minutely. “What’s this all about?” He teased. 

“You didn’t sacrifice yourself this time.” 

Jing Yuan raised an eyebrow, the corners of his lips curling up in a smug manner. “I didn’t. I’ve been a very good boy, wouldn’t you agree?” 

Blade didn’t laugh. He just stared. “You’re unharmed.” 

“Was that supposed to be a question or a statement? Yes, I’m physically unharmed.” He tilted his head as far to the side as he could in their current position.

His strange questioning aside, Blade seemed satisfied at the answers given to him. 

“I can’t say as much for the delegation from the Yaoqing though…” His smile waned. “Despite the injuries, they seem in good spirits. I’ll have to visit them at the alchemy commission before they head off.” 

The stellaron hunter seemed uninterested in his mindless ramblings, but he did not prompt him to be quiet. Instead, he watched the general’s every twitch in facial expression and movement of lips. 

Jing Yuan’s prattling faded into silence after a moment. “What are you thinking about?” He probed gently, unsure if he’d actually get an answer or not. 

True to his speculation, he did not get an answer. Though what he did get was a kiss. 

Blade closed the distance between the two of them easily, capturing the other’s lips. There was an endless fire of emotion behind the force of the kiss, but Jing Yuan didn’t have the sound of mind to figure out what it meant. All he could do was reciprocate in kind—move his lips sensually against Blade’s and lose any shred of coherent thought in the bliss. 

They had done this before many times. It always ended the same. 

Blade would arrive and they would do their unspoken song and dance. They would kiss until the rest of the world faded away. Sometimes they’d have sex, sometimes they would simply find solace in each other's lips and arms. Despite everything, Jing Yuan always ended up alone.

Alone in bed once more, another piece of his heart carved out for the man once named Yingxing. 

He didn’t know if he could do it all over again. And yet, it was his only salvation. The only piece he still had left. He would bare his soul and rip open old wounds for just an opportunity to be looked at. To feel, just for a minute, a mimicry of reciprocated adoration. If he could not be loved, he must pretend.

I love you, Jing Yuan did not say as he wrapped his arms around Blade’s neck to pull him closer. I love you, his heartbeat stuttered in a staccato tempo. I love you, don’t leave me , his very being cried out. 

Jing Yuan gasped into the kiss, his breath hitching at the overwhelming surge of emotion. He was sure that this hollow ache—this bone deep longing—would kill him before the Mara even had a chance. 

He wrapped his legs around Blade’s waist, urging him impossibly closer. He smothered any of the lingering melancholy with the heated crush of lips, disguising every tremor as a movement forged from desperate lust. He could do nothing more than swipe his tongue along the seam of Blade’s lips, waiting for him to part them obediently before licking into his hot mouth. Even when he nicked the tip of his tongue on a sharp canine, he did not stop his conquest.

A mix of blood and saliva filled Jing Yuan’s mouth, but he couldn’t find it in him to care. The metallic taste was disregarded in favor of curling his fingers into Blade’s hair and tugging the strands almost brutally. 

He didn’t register how much time had passed in between the start of their amorous kiss and when the other man pulled away. All he could focus on was the thin strand of pink tinted saliva that connected their lips when they parted. 

“Jing Yuan.” Blade’s husky voice sounded fuzzy. How could he sound so muted when he was right in front of him? Jing Yuan frowned, trying to figure out the exact proximity of the man. “Jing Yuan!”

An obvious twinge of worry bled into Blade’s hoarse words now. He wanted to poke fun at him for it, but he suddenly realized that he couldn’t quite keep his eyes open. 

Scarred hands wiped wetness from his cheeks that he hadn’t even realized appeared. Desperately curious, Jing Yuan tried to force his eyes open to see Blade’s face. The panic only fully hit when he realized he couldn’t control his body at all. 

As if being controlled by another force, his body began to thrash in earnest in an attempt to throw Blade off of him. It was overwhelming—the sense of powerlessness that swept over him. 

The last thing he could recall before succumbing to nothingness was the distinct smell of ginkgo leaves. 

..••°°°°••..

Two voices filtered through Jing Yuan’s ears as if passing through cotton. Their words were undoubtedly muffled, but the cadence between them were starkly different. One was light and airy with a distinct undercurrent of scorn while the other was heavy and coarse, each syllable pushed out from behind gritted teeth. 

He couldn’t quite recall how he had gotten here. All he could gather from the situation was that he was in bed and that it was very early morning based on the birds chirping. Amusedly, he wondered if he had passed out from exhaustion and unceremoniously dragged back to his quarters. 

Still…this situation was terribly strange. And thus he played the part of a dutiful patient and pretended as if he were still asleep while also keeping his ears pricked.

“...Qi deviation…not surprising based on the external stressors…” The softer voice spoke loftily, almost too light to be heard. “Awfully strange though...Give it to me...”

Jing Yuan fought against the urge to raise an eyebrow, keeping up his sleeping act despite his curiosity. 

The other person begrudgingly walked forward in an overly familiar gait and rustled through their clothing to find something. 

Upon realizing why the footsteps sounded so familiar, all pretenses of being asleep were forfeited in favor of Jing Yuan shooting up in bed and swiveling towards the two people. The sudden movement caused his vision to spot, but it certainly wasn’t the worst pain he had endured. 

His panicked attempt to get up was swiftly foiled by the approaching figure of the new head of the Alchemy Commission herself. She didn’t even wait until he had recognized her to gather a palmful of pacifying incense and blow it towards him. 

Jing Yuan’s lingering fear and anxiety dissipated in an instant and forcibly unwound his tense muscles. When he took in a deep shuddering breath, he made eye contact with a very unamused Miss Lingsha. 

He knew she was still struggling to overcome past grievances, but if she truly wanted to kill him she already would have seized the opportunity. Thus, he could only give her a wane smile. “Madam Lingsha, to what do I owe the pleasure?” His voice trembled with raspiness. 

The force of her deadpan look could almost rival Lady Fu Xuan’s. They would most certainly get along when the master diviner returned from the Yuque. 

“Don’t try to get up again.” Lingsha spoke crisply. Her words were level, but held a very obvious threat beneath the surface. The kind of threat that spelled: if you try to get up again I will be forced to knock you unconscious for your own safety. 

Jing Yuan could only smile disarmingly at her before he remembered the other party in the room. Suddenly startled again, his widened eyes flicked towards the stellaron hunter standing a few meters away. His face was set in his usual perpetual apathetic expression, but his eyebrows were knit together. He was clearly troubled by something. 

Sheepishly, the general looked back towards Lingsha. The woman held up a hand to stop the words before they slipped from his lips. “At least give me plausible deniability, general.” She shook her head in slight exasperation. “Only answer the questions I’m going to impose onto you as a healer. Keep any other explanations to yourself. I don’t wish to be implicated.” Again her steely gaze read. 

The general dipped his head in understanding, unwilling to butt heads with the steadfast healer. 

“You will rest for a few days.” She spoke crisply and firmly. “Focus on calming your tumultuous thoughts and quelling the deep rooted problems that plague you. In the meantime, I will light a calming incense to clear your mind. Tomorrow morning I will check on your progress.”

Jing Yuan pursed his lips, clearly disagreeing with her methods. “I can’t simply leave the Luofu unattended. During this time of unease and crisis, they need a figurehead to soothe their worries.” Weary, he let out a small sigh. “I do apologize, Madam Lingsha, but I simply cannot adhere to bedrest while the citizens of the Luofu stew in their panic. What will they do when they find out that their general is indisposed?”

The vidyadhara woman let out her own small huff. “The general isn’t indisposed though.” She stated like it was a matter of fact. “With the borisin warhead Hoolay finally being slaughtered, the general is taking the time to discuss with the Marshal and fellow arbiter generals on how to proceed.”

Speechless and rather impressed, Jing Yuan raised an eyebrow at her swiftly thought up lie. “And with the Wardance being held concurrently…”

“Most won’t even turn their head amidst the excitement. And the ones that do wouldn’t dare to question the business of the generals further.” Lingsha finished his thought.

How cunning…truly a brilliant scheme. One that he could argue with no longer. “I see. Well then, I will allow myself to be treated by your capable hands.”

Lingsha wavered slightly. It was clear that she was still sorting through her own feelings on the general, but her commitment to her duty was more than admirable. “I will be back tomorrow to check up on you, as I’ve stated before. Though I will warn you that I can only sustain this ruse for so long. As for the matter of the young lieutenant…I can only detain him in the alchemy commission until the most severe wounds have healed. He will inevitably seek you out.”

Jing Yuan’s smile took on a softer, more melancholic look. That boy was as stubborn as ever. 

“It is up to you alone to overcome your heart demons and suppress the turbulence in your mind…but I will do my best to assist you along the way.” Lingsha’s brows furrowed ever so slightly. “I will be taking my leave.”

With a swish of clothing and the lingering scent of heliotrope blossoms, the healer swept out of the general’s quarters and went to attend to other pressing matters. True to her word, she left behind a gently burning stick of incense in her wake. 

Jing Yuan hung his head, feeling the weight of exhaustion hit him like a starskiff. Despite having rested, he felt more tired than ever.

Blade hung in the corner of the room like an ever persistent shadow. He said nothing, nor did he approach until Lingsha was long gone.

“I wasn’t aware that the stellaron hunters gave time off.” The general spoke finally, shattering the tense silence that hung in the room. “I always assumed that there were an infinite amount of scripts to carry out.”

“I’m on indefinite leave.” Blade moved closer at last, standing in front of Jing Yuan’s sitting form. 

“Vacation?” He raised an eyebrow. 

The other man’s gaze shifted away, unreadable as ever. 

“Indulge me in a round of starchess, would you?” Jing Yuan offered tentatively. He was quietly pleased when Blade acquiesced with his strange request and obediently fetched the starchess board and pieces from the place where they were stored. Just the idea of Blade remembering where his things were kept, even amidst the mara, made his heart pang with a foreign sort of hurt. 

The board was set up in silence—the kind of silence that rivaled the tenseness from earlier. A kind of silence steeped in pensiveness and quiet sorrow. 

Yingxing had never been good at starchess. His talents were more suited for the forge rather than fine arts such as chess. In the past, the man would kick Jing Yuan out of his workshop for nagging him about a round. Today, Blade simply indulged his desires. 

They played a few rounds, but he was still as bad as he was back in those days. He made the same sloppy mistakes, had the same intense furrow in his brow. A strange surge of bittersweetness settled heavily in his gut. Suddenly, Jing Yuan’s hand spasmed and he inadvertently dropped the piece in his hand. 

The piece made a loud clack against the floor and skittered underneath the bed. Jing Yuan watched it wordlessly, mouth pinched in a thin line. 

Blade moved the starchess board onto the nightstand quietly, getting on his knees with no hesitation to retrieve the piece from under the bed. The silent, yet unbearably sweet notion was enough to make Jing Yuan’s already troubled mind sink further into frustration. Why did Blade pity him so? 

His internal musings were interrupted by the soft clicking of pieces being put back into their box and stored away. Blade scrutinized every piece until it was back in its slot properly, only putting it away when it was just as it had been before. 

He was so…

Jing Yuan shook his head to clear the muddled thoughts, scooting to the very edge of the bed and bracing one hand on the end of the nightstand. Exhaustion weighed heavy in his bones as he tried to push himself up to no avail. A low, self deprecating huff escaped his lips at his own inability to even get up . 

Blade appeared by his side like a fussy wife, pulling him up fully and supporting the weight of his tired body. 

The general couldn’t help but laugh softly. “I never thought I’d see the day where you became a doting wife.” 

“That’s enough.” The other man grunted, clearly not that annoyed by his teasing. 

Jing Yuan hummed, extricating himself from the man’s arms when he had found his footing. He tried to not think of how pathetic he felt. Instead, he pulled his hair up in practiced movements and tied the unruly strands together with a red ribbon. 

He could feel Blade’s eyes boring into his back, but he ignored the intense gaze for the time being. 

“How about a walk in the garden?” He suggested once he was satisfied with his hair, tone light. “I need to water my plants anyway.” 

Blade nodded crisply, practically gravitating towards his side again. Since when was he so clingy? Jing Yuan had half a mind to lightheartedly prod at him again, but he kept his thoughts to himself for the time being. 

The two walked side by side until they reached the sliding door that led to the garden. Jing Yuan quietly put on his outside shoes, smiling to himself when he saw Blade follow suit. This domestic routine…it really clashed against his appearance. Still, it made him feel impossibly fond. 

Jing Yuan shielded his eyes momentarily when he stepped into the sunlight. The morning was breezy, but not cold. Perfect weather in his eyes. 

Blade stood ominously on the threshold until Jing Yuan tipped his head to the side. “Join me?” He offered an arm playfully. 

Surprisingly, his joking offer was accepted when Blade finally stepped into the garden and took his arm. Confused and a little flustered, Jing Yuan rested his hand in the crook of Blade’s elbow. “What a gentleman.” He remarked, raising an eyebrow.

Blade looked away and towards the plentiful garden. “You water these every day?” 

He’s deflecting! Jing Yuan noted gleefully. 

“Yes, of course.” He smiled warmly at the flourishing plants and flowers. “The birds join me as well.”

As if summoned by his voice, the family of finches that made their nest in one of his trees swooped down to land in his fluffy mane of hair. The mother bird dutifully preened Jing Yuan like her own fledgling, removing any leaves that had fallen into his hair as he stepped into the garden. 

Some of the fledglings, feathers still downy from youth, watched Blade curiously. One of the braver ones hopped across Jing Yuan’s shoulder to Blade’s. And upon seeing him not shoo it away, the bird mimicked its mother and clumsily picked out anything stuck in his hair. 

The rest of the baby birds followed their sibling, fluttering their wings as they bridged the gap between the two men and began preening Blade as well. He stayed very still while they fussed over him, expression cautious but not tense. 

“They like you.” Jing Yuan noted with a hum. 

Blade made a low noise in return. It seemed like he didn’t want to move too much while the fledglings worked. It was all awfully cute. 

Sighing fondly, Jing Yuan untangled himself from Blade and walked towards the watering can. The birds dutifully nestled into his hair, used to his movements. The other man, meanwhile, stayed stock still—perhaps out of fear of frightening the baby birds.

Jing Yuan began to water the plants in his garden. The flowers, bursting with life, the fruit bushes, ripe to be picked, and the vegetables that were just beginning to sprout. He hummed under his breath while he did so. He was dressed down in his lounging clothes, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care all that much. Especially when Blade had seen him in all manners of dress and undress.

He gave the man a sidelong glance, quietly startled when he saw the sheer intensity of the stare focused on him. Looking away, Jing Yuan cleared his throat and began to water once more.

“The boy.” Blade started. He was silent for a while after—as if he didn’t know how to continue. “He was injured.”

“Indeed he was. Facing off against Hoolay was no easy feat. Even with the assistance of others, he was bound to exhaust himself while pushing himself to the limits.” Jing Yuan smiled sadly, his face pinched. “Though he is very stubborn and still naive, he is finding his own path in the world.”

One day, Yanqing would be grown and no longer need him. That thought alone struck a painful chord within his chest, nearly making him lose grip of the watering can. Once he had steadied himself, he continued with a sigh. “Yanqing is headstrong, but his perseverance is admirable. A double edged sword, if you will. It’s difficult to get through to him when he has made up his mind. He still has a long way to go, but whether he sees me as a shifu, a benefactor, or a general, I will always take care of him.”

A bout of silence followed.

“Our relationship is difficult to describe. He is my disciple as well as the boy I raised. To many, my treatment towards him is preferential. And thus I toe the line between my duties as a general and my duties as a teacher.” Jing Yuan smiled, but it was sad in nature. “Sometimes I have to make decisions that I don’t enjoy making. That is life as a general. Of course I lament my distance, but I do what I must.”

Jing Yuan closed his eyes, trying to find solace in the cool breeze. 

“You’ve done well.” Blade finally spoke. “He has potential. With some guidance…he will become great.”

The general's smile waned ever so slightly. With the two crises back to back, he’d been neglectful with Yanqing’s teachings as well as his emotional state. Though he seemed more confident in his abilities after the duel against Hoolay, Jing Yuan could only attribute that to outside forces. Even if Yunli was also stubborn and outspoken and the two butted heads, Yanqing had clearly found wisdom in her impulsive ways. Along with training a disciple of his own and the Wardance…

He truly was growing up.

A sharp pain in his chest finally made him lose hold of the watering can in his grip. All Jing Yuan could do was watch helplessly as the spilled water seeped into the soil and inevitably overwatered the still growing plants.

He was suddenly thankful that he had skirted around the topic of Yunli and General Huaiyan. With this new wave of both physical and emotional exhaustion, it was better to have one mara struck individual rather than two.

Of course Jing Yuan wasn’t dumb. He knew exactly what was happening from the moment he woke up. Even if Lingsha took extreme care with her words and actions, he knew very well what the issue was.

Like a worrisome wife, Blade made quick strides to stand by his side. He silently picked up the watering can and set it aside, slotting his bandaged hand into the crook of Jing Yuan’s elbow like he had done when they first went outside. 

“Come on.”

With no choice but to follow, Jing Yuan allowed himself to be led back into the house. Bitterness still seeped into his very core, but the pressure against his lungs had lessened to some degree. 

The soft jingling of bells filled the hallway as a small creature padded up to the two and wove between Jing Yuan’s ankles, meowing insistently like she had never been fed in her life. For once he had gotten up before her and forgotten to feed her. Now he was paying the price of his oh so evil crimes with her caterwauling. 

The cat butted her head into Jing Yuan’s calves, looking up at him with wide green eyes. She was clearly trying to make him feel bad for forgetting—the silly girl.

The fearless general met her watery gaze with an amused smile, stepping over her furry form to fetch the food she so craved. At first she yowled at him for daring to walk away before it seemed to click in her little brain that he was getting her food. Satisfied at his compliance, her ears flicked as she turned towards the other person in the room.

“Go on, the queen demands a greeting.” Jing Yuan laughed softly under his breath, gathering up various delicacies for her expensive palate. “She’s friendly.”

Casting a look over his shoulder, Jing Yuan noted with no surprise that Blade was standing stiffly with his arms at his sides. With another huff, he paused his food quest to approach the man. “Hold out your hand.” He instructed. When Blade hesitated, he took his arm himself and extended the appendage manually. “Let her sniff you first.”

He stood stock still, but did not retract his arm from Jing Yuan’s grasp. It wasn’t until the cat sniffed his fingers gently that he relaxed minutely.

“She likes you.” Jing Yuan hummed, watching with some semblance of amusement as she proceeded to rub her face all over Blade’s fingers. “Go ahead, pet her. Preferably before she starts yowling again.”

He could feel the tension in the man’s body as he outstretched his fingers to brush the tips of them against the cat’s fuzzy head. And then—

The traitorous beast started to purr loudly, butting her head against Blade’s hand needily for more petting. Of course, he indulged her, petting gently behind her ears and underneath her chin. The man stared intensely at the cat, nearly enraptured.

Jing Yuan side eyed the cat, pouting at how much attention she was getting. She didn’t seem to care though.

(He could have sworn that the cat seemed smug at his displeasure).

“Alright, alright, that’s enough.” Jing Yuan let go of Blade to retrieve the food once more and feed the cat. She seemed reluctant to leave her new best friend, but ultimately her stomach won the battle of indecision. 

Blade stared after her even as she trotted away. There was a pensive expression on his face, unreadable as per usual. 

Jing Yuan looked back at Blade curiously, but he did not reveal the thoughts that lay hidden in the depths of his mind. He never did. 

..••°°°°••..

The rest of their day together was rather mundane. Despite a few flare ups that resulted from overthinking, Jing Yuan was…strangely fine. Though the one thing he did note was being more tired than usual. He hadn’t even done anything strenuous and yet his bones ached, his body heavy with exhaustion. 

Blade lingered in the corner of the room like an ever present shadow. The action alone prompted an uncharacteristic anger that swelled in the deepest recesses of his heart. He was always so close and yet so out of reach .

Jing Yuan swallowed the bitter feeling lodged in his throat and readied himself for bed. 

Though even in his dreams he could not find solace. 

..••°°°°••..

Jingliu dodged his swing with masterful ease. It almost reminded him of their first days training together—the days where she would knock him down and criticize his form. Then she would tell him to get back up and fight her again. Those days he would be bruised everywhere and drag his feet towards his quarters for some much needed rest before doing it all again. Those days were simple. 

Now, his master's eyes flashed with unfettered rage and their blows were evenly matched.

Sparks of lightning collided with bitterly cold ice. Neither of them spoke amidst their fierce battle. What was there to say? Jingliu had become marastruck and escaped from the shackling prison, leaving a trail of chaos behind. What was he supposed to do? The newly appointed general could only attempt to stop her.

Baiheng had perished in the war. Dan Feng had been imprisoned for his sins. Yingxing had gone mad and fled—there was no doubt that Jingliu was after him. 

Jing Yuan was the only one that was left behind. 

He dreamt of this nightmarish memory plenty of times. But this time, the memory veered off course.

Suddenly, Jingliu dropped her sword and lunged for him unarmed. Jing Yuan could only back away in a panic, a prisoner of his own mind.

His master’s icy hands wrapped around his neck in the next second, squeezing his windpipe with immeasurable force. She had always possessed an unnatural sort of strength, that of which was now channeled into choking him.

Jing Yuan couldn’t breathe even if he tried. The chill seemed to spread from her fingertips and into every cell of his body, freezing him from the inside out. It felt like he was burning—the frost so frigid that it turned into a liquid fire that funneled into his very core. 

I’m going to die. A terrified voice shrieked in his head. I can’t escape her. 

Jingliu leaned in suddenly, her voice just as icy as her hands: 

“You are doomed to fail.” She hissed. 

Jing Yuan jolted awake with the feeling of his master’s gelid hands still wrapped around his neck. His breaths came out in heaving gasps of air. Even though he knew he was awake now, the primal, wretched fear still permeated through him.

The general thrashed, unable to open his eyes. The image of his late master’s maddened expression was seared into his eyelids. He couldn’t escape her—he could never escape her.

Very real hands wrapped around his own as he panicked. The hands were warm though, thrumming with unnatural life. 

Fear spiked through Jing Yuan, but he did not rip his hands away yet.

“Jing Yuan.” A deep, raspy voice cut through the delirious haze. It was a voice he recognized intimately. “Jing Yuan.” He repeated. He was always so obsessed with saying his name. 

Jing Yuan forced his eyes open, still trembling with the aftershocks of the nightmare. The space around him was dark aside from the small stick of incense that waned at his bedside. Blade must have lit it again when it went out. 

“Jing Yuan.” Blade murmured again, an almost mournful tone in his voice. His bandaged hands squeezed the general’s. And yet, he uttered nothing more than his name. 

Jing Yuan shivered. Despite being awake, he could still feel the icy imprint of hands around his neck. In a direct juxtaposition, however, the hands wrapped around his own were pleasantly hot. Blade always seemed to run warm—perhaps from the immortal blood that flowed through his veins. 

He focused on Blade’s ever persistent heartbeat, counting every abnormal thrum. Despite his undying nature, the beat of his heart was always steady. It was comforting amidst the panic and chaos. 

Seeing him calm down, Blade went to move away. Instinctively, chasing that warmth, Jing Yuan held onto his hands like a lifeline. “Stay.” He pleaded softly. He’d blame his terrified haze for his actions tomorrow. 

Blade did not attempt to move away again. He brought Jing Yuan’s hands up to his mouth, kissing his fingertips and leaving trails of warmth behind. Then, he kissed his palms, mouthing something indecipherable against his skin. 

Jing Yuan said nothing, indulging the man. Exhaustion was already starting to weigh heavy on him despite his nightmare. So when Blade finally moved onto the bed, he could only gravitate towards the heat that radiated off of him. 

Arms wrapped around him almost tenderly. One hand cupped the back of his head, the other secured firmly around his waist. All he could do was focus on his ever steady heartbeat. 

Jing Yuan wished he could understand him. 

Though before he could linger on the thought, the thrall of tiredness began to pull him back under. In his last moments before he fell asleep, he was vaguely aware of gentle fingers delicately plucking leaves out of his hair. 

..••°°°°••..

Jing Yuan woke up in bed alone, unsurprisingly. 

His grogginess was quickly dispelled by the presence of another in the room, however. Jing Yuan instinctively went to reach for his glaive, though he was sorely displeased at its absence. 

“Calm down.” Lingsha’s voice cut through his confused haze. “I’m here to check up on you.”

Pacified, the general let out a soft sigh. “Good morning to you too.” He glanced around the room, his eyes automatically seeking out the familiar shape of Blade.

“I don’t know where he is.” Lingsha said flatly. “You’re supposed to be focusing on yourself.” She sounded sour, holding out her hand expectantly.

Jing Yuan hesitated before offering his own hand. Lingsha’s fingers were cold to the touch. For a moment, he wanted to jerk his hand away after the nightmare he endured last night. The healer’s hands weren’t frigid like his old master’s though, so he forced himself to relax. 

Lingsha closed her eyes, seemingly in a trance. After a few moments, her face pinched and her eyes opened. “Your condition isn’t getting any better.” An intense glare. “I’ve made a few changes to the incense after consulting some of the old books stored in the alchemy commission. Since your emotional state hasn’t stabilized yet, I’d recommend meditating at least twice a day, if not more. Focus on circulating the chaotic qi that has congealed in your dantian and erase any and all thoughts from your mind.”

The healer let out a small sigh, adjusting her hairpiece. “I’ll continue to pour through the texts and do my best.” She looked weary, closing her eyes for a moment. “General…please do your best as well.”

Jing Yuan nodded slowly, an amalgamation of both guilt and gratefulness lodged in his throat. After this was over…he would do his best to explain to her everything that had happened with her master instead of glossing it over. He didn’t expect forgiveness—but she deserved closure.

“I’ll be going now.” Lingsha straightened out her already impeccable clothing. “Remember to follow the instructions I gave you.”

Lingsha left behind another pleasant smelling stick of incense. He couldn’t quite tell what had changed, but the scent did make him feel a little more at ease. 

After she had disappeared, Blade stepped out from the shadows and crossed the room to stand in front of the still laying down Jing Yuan. Neither of them talked about what had transpired last night. Jing Yuan simply smiled drowsily.

There was a tell-tale furrow between the other man’s brows that showcased his quiet concern. For a moment, it felt like he wanted to say something, but it quickly vanished. Instead, he held out his hand for Jing Yuan to take.

Jing Yuan cocked his head consideringly before taking the proffered hand. Instead of wanting to pull away like he did with Lingsha, he basked in the warmth that radiated from Blade’s hand. 

Blade’s grip was gentle, but still firm as he pulled him up into a seated position. And then, bracing his other hand underneath Jing Yuan’s elbow, he urged him to stand. The quiet care was so tender that it made the general’s heart pound with a mix of yearning and bittersweet affection. 

He stumbled for a moment while getting up, but Blade’s hold on him never faltered. The man’s gaze lingered heavily on his side profile, but he didn’t turn to look at him. His heart wouldn’t survive seeing what expression was on his face. 

Blade pulled him towards the vanity that was usually full of miscellaneous clutter. Now though, it was pristine with no trace of anything ever being on there. Even the small tea stain on the left corner had been scrubbed off. Jing Yuan raised an eyebrow, bemused at the notion that Blade had cleaned some of his things while he was sleeping. 

The man in question was looking away pointedly from his curious look. Instead, he busied himself with pulling out a brush from one of the now very organized drawers. And with slow, gentle sweeps, Blade began to brush his hair.

Jing Yuan’s amused expression faded at the warm affection Blade showed. He’d been so clingy since the onset of his symptoms. Was it simply out of pity? Blade wasn’t the type of man to act differently out of sympathy towards people though. His actions were and had always been sincere and straightforward. 

So why was he…

Quietly, the general allowed the thought to taper away from his mind and closed his eyes. Trying to figure out Blade's intentions was akin to tirelessly searching for the answers of the universe. 

It was clear though, at least, that Blade was using the utmost focus to brush his hair. Every stroke was carefully measured to the point that Jing Yuan was getting sleepy again. But if he fell asleep he couldn’t admire the concentrated expression on the man’s face. 

Occasionally, Blade would pull out a few leaves from his hair with an unreadable look. If he didn’t know any better, he would think Blade looked upset. Jing Yuan tried to ignore the steady ache in his chest at the thought of ever swaying Blade into a state of sorrow. 

Blade wasn’t satisfied until the entirety of his mane had been tamed and pulled into his signature ponytail, secured by the ever present red ribbon. Jing Yuan stared at the splash of color against the stark white of his hair, the corner of his lips tugging down into a small frown. He didn’t even know why the ache grew stronger this time. 

“It would be wise to heed Madam Lingsha’s advice.” The general spoke suddenly, pulling away from Blade. He felt slightly fuzzy—disconnected with the world. The pit in his stomach was all consuming, leeching off of every negative emotion and growing stronger by the second. He needed to get himself under control. “As per her orders, I’ll meditate for a while.”

Blade’s mouth pinched into a thin line before he opened it again—no doubt to interject about him being alone. 

“No need to see me off. I’m sure you’ll find something else to do in the meantime.” Jing Yuan cut in firmly, clasping his slightly trembling hands behind his back.

It was a clear rejection, but Blade still stared intensely at his back as he turned to walk away; as if he wanted to chase after him.

What a silly thought to cross his mind. The only people Blade chased were the objects of his revenge. 

Blade would never choose him in this life. 

..••°°°°••..

After a few hours of meditation and dozing off, Jing Yuan was woken by the sound of his own stomach grumbling. 

The general let out a small sigh and pushed himself up. Despite having just taken a nap, he was still exhausted. Nevertheless, he stretched until his old bones cracked and popped. He supposed it was time to find Blade—the man would insist on him eating something and fuss over him.

Met with the silence of the house, a flicker of fear passed through Jing Yuan. For a moment, he was scared that Blade had finally left until he found him in the garden.

There he was; the fierce stellaron hunter, known for his ruthless slaughter, was sitting on the ground playing with a cat. Jing Yuan had to suppress his own laughter at the sight, watching with a modicum of amusement as Blade was very clearly trying to train her some kind of trick.

A furrow appeared between Blade’s eyes as he tried to tempt her with a treat. Unfortunately for him, the last thing she wanted to do was some kind of trick to appease him. Best friend or not, she preferred doing the least physical work possible.

The attentive look on Blade’s face melted into one of petulance when she flopped onto her back and looked at him expectantly. He gave in, begrudgingly petting her stomach. His expression lightened though when the cat started to purr loudly.

“Making any progress?” Jing Yuan couldn’t help but interject. Two pairs of eyes swept towards him. The cat seemed to be dissatisfied by the interruption, but Blade’s expression formed into almost…fondness. Jing Yuan looked away from the softness of his stare, clearing his throat. “She’s terribly lazy, I fear.”

Blade grunted, petting the cat’s soft stomach. “You never told me her name.” He diverted suddenly.

The general raised an eyebrow. “She doesn’t have a name. She broke in, imposed herself in my home, and decided to make herself comfortable.” An exaggerated sigh. “You can name her if you’d like.”

Blade considered it for a moment before deciding: “Shuijiao.” He stated, utterly serious.

Seriously? Jing Yuan couldn’t help but laugh, full bodied and earnest. 

When Jing Yuan opened his eyes after his bout of laughter, he met Blade’s stare. There was that look in his eyes again—an impossibly adoring gaze. 

Jing Yuan forced himself to look away, focusing his stare on the newly named Shuijiao. “It’s time to separate from your new best friend.” He cooed, earning a side eye from the cat. “Don’t you want dinner?”

Shuijiao’s ears perked up at the word, apparently no longer tired and lazy. 

Jing Yuan felt breathless from the force of his laughter before, only able to churn out a small huff now. 

The rest of their day was spent cooking while Shuijiao circled around both of their feet, meowing loudly for a taste of the delicious smelling food. No matter how many times Jing Yuan tried to shoo her away, she came back to pester them.

Eventually, Blade picked her up and placed her around his neck. At least then she was mollified, purring contentedly at the warmth emanating from the man. 

After their meal, Jing Yuan meditated before bed. Blade insisted on staying closer to him this time, sharpening his sword against a whetstone while Jing Yuan slipped into a peaceful lull. The steady sound of the sword scraping against the whetstone was comforting, bringing him back to a different time.

At some point he must have fallen asleep. Memories of the prime era of the High Cloud Quintet flashed through his mind. The yawning cavern in his chest grew every wider, sucking him further into the inky depths. Watching those memories drift away…he wanted desperately to hold onto them, but they continued to slip between his fingers and out of his reach. 

Gentle thumbs swept across his cheekbones, jostling Jing Yuan from his pseudo-slumber. When he opened his eyes, the silhouette of Yingxing appeared in front of him. The silhouette split into two versions before coalescing back into the form of Blade.

Bandaged hands wiped the now cold tears away, reminiscent of how they did before Jing Yuan succumbed to the thrall of mara. 

He was so tired. The weight of those memories bore down on him and pushed a bone deep heaviness into his body.

Those bandaged hands wiped the remnants of tears away before sweeping him into a firm embrace. How ironic was it that Jing Yuan took comfort in the arms of a man he could never have. 

Blade’s arms encircled his form, bathing him in warmth and familiarity. And just like the night before, he was swept into peaceful oblivion bracketed in Blade’s arms. 

..••°°°°••..

Lingsha nodded in approval the next morning. “You’re improving slightly. Even the smallest bit of progress denotes a positive development.”

The healer left him with a bitter medicinal tea to drink daily. Even if he had to choke down the liquid and endure the terrible aftertaste, he knew Lingsha was working hard to help.

But despite Lingsha’s confidence in his improvement, he felt more sluggish than ever. Even his attempts to seek out Blade ended with him leaning against the wall for support until the man in question swept him up and placed him back in bed.

Jing Yuan was beginning to feel restless truthfully, but he couldn’t help but note fondly that his stubbornness had never changed. Though Blade had long since shed his former identity, traces of Yingxing still lingered. Maybe they weren’t as different as he had previously imagined. 

That thought persisted when Blade pushed a bowl into his hands, the vegetables and meat all thoroughly minced at the aggressive hand of a swordmaster. Yingxing had never been suitable at cutting things in the kitchen either, putting far too much force into the movements. The man was quickly demoted to a helper after he decimated a dish for the Quintet.

Later, Jing Yuan meditated—though he couldn’t stay prone for too long and eventually switched to reading. When he inevitably fell asleep on the book sitting at his desk, steady hands pulled his groggy form out of the chair and into the bed, laying a soft kiss on his forehead. Those same lips mouthed unknown words silently against his skin before pulling away.

In his dreams, Jing Yuan toasted to the High Cloud Quintet. Echoes of laughter rang out before he found himself alone at the edge of Scalegorge Waterscape. The scene felt so familiar; the same dull ache persisted. But as he let the ocean breeze wash over him, the tension gripping his lungs lessened ever so slightly. 

..••°°°°••..

“Yanqing has been released from the Alchemy Commission with a clean bill of health.” Lingsha started the day with that news. “Expect his prompt arrival. Somehow he’s been stubborn even in his healing. He swore that he would get better as soon as possible so he could see you.” A small shadow curled the edges of her lips. “What a strange boy.” She mused. 

It wasn’t long after Lingsha departed that a series of frenzied knocks sounded against his door. Jing Yuan had just finished choking down the tea when the knocking rang out. He hurried to make himself presentable, casting a quick look around the room for Blade’s presence and finding the man notably absent.

Fear spiked in his chest for a moment before he forced himself to remember the last time Yanqing and Blade had crossed paths.

“General!” Yanqing sounded distressed from the other side of the door.

“Aiyah…isn’t it too early for this racket?” Jing Yuan couldn’t help but tease the boy as he opened the door and leaned against the frame. “What could possibly be so important at this hour?”

The look on Yanqing’s face was complicated before he bowed deeply. “General…I rushed into battle without planning again. I promised I would heed your advice and then…”

Jing Yuan put a hand up, swiftly bringing the boy’s apology to a halt. “I’m not mad.” He started slowly. “You were exceptionally brave. Facing off against Hoolay is no easy feat. And yet, you managed to beat him. The Shackling Prison has attempted to kill the warhead for many centuries. How exceptional you are.”

Yanqing’s face flushed bright red as he rose from his bow. “I…I only assisted with delaying him. General Feixiao was the one who slayed him.”

“Is that so? And does that make it any less impressive that you managed to hold your own against Hoolay?”

“It wasn’t just me!” Yanqing protested. “There was March 7th and Yunli! It was a group effort and–”

“Yanqing.” Jing Yuan cut him off once more. “I’m very proud of you.”

The boy went frighteningly still, the expression on his face stuck into one of pure shock. Had he really slacked off on praising Yanqing for so long for such a strong reaction?

After a moment, however, Yanqing barreled into his chest and wrapped his arms tightly around the general’s waist. 

Now it was Jing Yuan’s turn to be shocked. The shock soon turned to a steady warmth though as he tentatively returned the embrace and rested his cheek on the top of Yanqing’s head. 

“I can…I can still take on more responsibilities.” He protested weakly.

“I know.” Jing Yuan responded in turn. 

One day Yanqing wouldn’t need him, but for now he could hold him close. 

The two spoke for a long while until Yanqing started to yawn. He was very clearly trying to hide it, but Jing Yuan was quick to pick up on his tiredness and insisted he rest. After all, he could only compete against Yunli for so long before she had to return to the Zhuming.

Yanqing protested, naturally, but was eventually convinced to leave with a small pout. Jing Yuan waited until the boy was long gone to sit down on his bed and sigh wearily. Their talk had left him tired, but at peace. The deep cavern in his chest seemed to shrink minutely despite the bittersweetness. 

“Yunli…” Blade appeared in front of him once he had sat down, his tone strange.

Jing Yuan looked up, slightly startled. Blade had of course been able to hear their conversation—including the exaggerated retelling of Yanqing and Yunli’s fights. Guilt coursed through him at his mentioning of Yunli. “...Yes?” He proceeded with caution.

Though the look on Blade’s face was wistful more than anything. His reaction was the opposite of what he expected, but it was a welcome opposition. 

He could see the question in Blade’s eyes, so he took initiative. “She’s equally as stubborn as Yanqing.” He started. “Awfully headstrong as well. But also very brave and sticks to her personal morals.”

A ghost of a smile appeared on Blade’s lips as he shut his eyes. “Good. Good…”

The man disappeared for a while afterwards, leaving Jing Yuan alone and lost in his own thoughts. 

That nagging feeling that Blade really did leave this time returned, but Jing Yuan pushed the thought away from his mind. Blade always came back despite his second thoughts.

The artificial sun went down before Blade returned. He seemed off, but not in a way that indicated he was about to spiral into a bout of mara. There was clearly a lot on his mind, but Jing Yuan didn’t pry.

Instead, he patted the space next to him on the bed. Blade sat as stiff as ever on the edge, prompting a small smile from Jing Yuan.

“After all of these years…are you really so shy at the thought of sitting next to me?”

His teasing was met with silence. Jing Yuan could feel Blade’s stare on him, but he didn’t turn away this time. This time, he turned his head towards Blade and was met with the breathtaking sight of pure vulnerability written all over his face. That same fervor sparked in his eyes, potent with unreadable emotion.

Blade leaned closer, cupping Jing Yuan’s face in his hands. The look in his eyes…

Oh. 

Oh. 

His gaze this whole time…it had always been one of reverence. Of longing and devotion. All this time he had turned away and misunderstood the complicated mind of the man in front of him. All of this time he had been turning a blind eye, refusing to look at Blade in fear of what he would find when he did meet his gaze. 

After the realization had clicked, a bout of tenderness surged through Jing Yuan as he pulled Blade into a passionate kiss. 

Their kiss was different this time from when Blade had first entered his home. Less rushed, at least. Filled with the same amount of ardor, however.

Jing Yuan moved his lips against Blade’s and felt nothing but a sense of comfort. A sense of salvation in the hands of a wanted criminal. Though he may be a fugitive to the universe, he had always been so much more.

Blade pulled him closer, licking at the seam of his lips desperately. It was like he had finally stopped holding back as he explored Jing Yuan’s mouth with his tongue. The same tongue that had mapped every inch of his body before. 

Jing Yuan couldn’t help but practically throw himself into Blade’s lap, wrapping his arms around his neck with a small smile. And when that small smile was mirrored against his lips, the feeling that coursed through him was nothing short of breathlessness.

The two parted to breathe for only a moment before diving back in. Blade’s hands roamed his body, caressing his shoulder blades, stroking his back, squeezing his waist, groping his ass. His touch was overwhelming, making Jing Yuan feel heady with the result of his lust.

No words were exchanged between their rapturous kissing, but it was abundantly clear how both of them felt towards each other. 

Blade’s hands found the hem of his shirt and pulled it up. With Jing Yuan’s assistance, the shirt was pulled off completely and thrown to the side. And as soon as the warm flesh of his neck was exposed, Blade latched his mouth to the column of his throat. A whimper escaped Jing Yuan’s lips at the fervent sucking and biting that ensued. Each harsh bite was accompanied by a soothing sweep of his tongue. The man’s mouth traveled from his throat to his neck; from his shoulders to his collarbones, leaving reddening marks in his wake. 

Jing Yuan was most certainly hard now. And with each bite, he found his hips unconsciously jerking forward to rut against Blade’s own prominent erection. Blade rocked back in unison as he left a particularly harsh bite onto the meat between his neck and shoulder. The sharp pain mixed with the rush of pleasure made the general feel dazed as he let out a low whine. He couldn’t stop himself from chasing the friction now, rutting against Blade desperately. But it wasn’t enough to satiate him.

The other man felt the same apparently as he practically tossed Jing Yuan onto his back with all of the care in the world. Jing Yuan’s world spun for a moment before he looked at Blade, batting his eyelashes coquettishly. 

Blade’s eyes widened minutely before he crawled over the expanse of Jing Yuan’s body, hovering above him with the same intense devotion he had always held.

Jing Yuan pulled him down by the neck, leaving a searing kiss against his lips before mirroring Blade’s actions from earlier and giving his own marks. A physical reminder of their connection. 

Blade made a low, throaty noise. The sound reverberated against Jing Yuan’s lips, making them quirk up on their own accord.

He was pushed away unceremoniously, trapped under the heavy weight of Blade’s gaze. For a moment, he considered teasing the man, but he was quickly stopped in his tracks by a hot mouth securing over one of his nipples.

Jing Yuan let out a strangled noise, unintentionally pushing his chest upwards. Blade’s hand found the other nipple, pinching and squeezing it until it hardened under his dutiful fingers. He always knew how to push his buttons just right.

He trembled underneath Blade ministrations, wanting to simultaneously jerk away and push Blade’s head down so he couldn’t escape. It was terribly overwhelming and slightly embarrassing as the heat in his abdomen grew stronger.

When Blade switched his mouth to the other nipple, Jing Yuan made the executive decision to push his head away. “Enough…” He panted raspily, looking away pointedly from his now puffy nipples.

Blade was clearly trying to hide a smile as he dipped his head, moving down his body to insistently yank at Jing Yuan’s pants. Exasperated, Jing Yuan lifted his hips and allowed Blade to pull off his pants and undergarments. His cock twitched pitifully against his stomach, leaking precum.

The other seemed enraptured at the sight, staring intently at it until Jing Yuan nudged him with his foot. “This is the part where you get undressed as well.” He remarked teasingly.

Blade made quick work of his own clothing, even going so far as to unwrap every bandage from himself and expose the layers upon layers of scars marring his body. Jing Yuan looked at every single one, wondering the story behind each of them. Maybe he’d ask one day—but for now he was more focused on the task at hand.

“Come here.” The general cajoled, pulling Blade back to his lips. Their erections brushed against each other in the process, making both of them shuddered in tandem. Jing Yuan left a series of small, tender kisses against Blade’s face despite the fire coiling in his gut. Afterwards, he pulled away with an almost sly smile. “You know where the lube is.”

Blade’s pupils dilated quickly. At an almost comical speed, Blade rustled through the bedside drawer to pull out the bottle of frequently used lube. Blade gave him a questioning look, but all Jing Yuan could do was smile innocently. “I get lonely sometimes. Even a general needs a toy from time to time.”

His words seemed to rile up Blade further as he uncapped the lube and drizzled the cold substance onto his fingers. It warmed up quickly on his naturally hot hands. And by the time Blade had spread Jing Yuan’s legs apart and bullied his way in between them, he wasted no time in preparing him.

A finger circled agonizingly slowly around his rim before dipping in shallowly. Jing Yuan huffed, impatient. “Don’t tease…” He looked at Blade with lowered lashes. “Don’t you want me?” His tone was sultry and sickeningly sweet.

Despite it, Blade gave into the bait and properly pushed a finger inside of Jing Yuan. He let out a small sigh through his nose, trying to relax into the sensation. It had truly…been a while. As soon as he relaxed, however, Blade pushed a second finger in, now mercilessly pistoning his fingers in and out of him.

Jing Yuan spasmed around his fingers, biting his lip harshly as a thrill rushed up his spine. Seeing Blade so impatient…it really did things to him.

He let out a garbled moan as soon as Blade pressed his fingers against his prostate. Jing Yuan’s body jerked up as he pushed back onto his fingers. Those same fingers persistently rubbed circles against the sensitive place, prompting a staccato series of gasping moans.

“I-I can’t—” He stuttered breathlessly, pushing his hips down towards the devious fingers despite his protests. “I won’t last.” 

Blade finally let up at his words, focusing more on stretching him and less on coaxing desperate sounds out from him. By the time Blade had pushed a third finger in though, he was starting to get restless as well.

The man’s fingers grazed against his prostate as he pulled them out, picking up the lube once more to slick his cock up even more than it already was thanks to the precum. 

Jing Yuan watched him hungrily, his eyes focused on the muscles jumping in Blade’s arm as he stroked himself. And, of course, he couldn’t help but spread his legs further apart in anticipation. 

Blade pressed the tip of his cock against his hole, meeting Jing Yuan’s gaze while he pushed inside of him. The sheer intensity…it was all too much. Jing Yuan’s eyes fluttered shut as he was stretched open on Blade’s cock.

“Look at me.” Blade stopped suddenly, his voice broken with barely repressed need. “Watch me while I go inside of you.”

Desperately, Jing Yuan forced his eyes open, keeping his eyes on Blade until he bottomed out. Only when he was fully seated inside of him did he let out a shuddering breath. Though he was trembling, he kept his eyes on Blade. He wanted to see the soul bared before him. 

Blade met his eyes with an earnestness he would have never expected. This whole time…

Overcome with emotion, Jing Yuan locked his legs around Blade’s waist. “You can move.” He prompted. 

With his permission, Blade pulled out almost completely before slamming back in. His own breath came in ragged pants as he fucked Jing Yuan with such charged emotion that was world’s apart from their previous trysts. 

Jing Yuan’s eyes welled up with tears at the waves of pleasure that surged through him. He tightened his legs around Blade, trying to pull him impossibly closer. The bruising grip on his hips moved up to squeeze at his still tender chest. Then, his fingers brushed against every mark left against his skin before they finally landed on his face.

His heart swelled with a burst of adoration. He could only pull Blade back down to him as the other drove his hips mercilessly into him. Between gasps of air and needy whines, Jing Yuan pressed his lips against Blade’s cheek, heating the skin with puffs of air. 

Blade moved his face to capture his lips, sucking and biting at them until they were thoroughly swollen. Jing Yuan moaned salaciously against his lips, rocking his hips down to meet each and every harsh thrust. 

“I…” Jing Yuan stopped himself in his tracks, letting out a fluttering cry at a particularly severe thrust that hit just right. “There!”

Dutifully, Blade focused on driving his cock right where requested. Now, Jing Yuan could do nothing but gasp for air in between his broken cries. 

Blade dipped his head, dragging his teeth against Jing Yuan’s earlobe before settling his mouth back onto his neck. Once more, he mouthed a silent phrase against the skin.

Jing Yuan didn’t need to hear it to know what it was.

I love you. Each thrust spoke volumes. I love you. Jing Yuan gripped onto Blade’s shoulders hard enough to bruise. I love you. The words echoed in his mind, circulating every inch of his body and soul. I choose you. 

Without warning, Jing Yuan came with a sharp gasp, slamming his eyes shut to ride out the intense orgasm. 

Blade followed suit not long after, pushing his cock as deep as possible before he came. The burst of heat made Jing Yuan shiver. A part of his mind practically purred in satisfaction at the fact that the man had marked him inside and out.

Jing Yuan stopped trembling after a minute, still trying to catch his breath. Blade pressed his forehead against his, breathing in his air and letting their breaths mingle in the space between them.

He wanted to stay awake, truly, but the thrall of sleep was just so tempting. After such a rigorous workout…he slipped into slumber without realizing it. Though he was vaguely aware of tender hands cleaning him up and redressing him, he couldn’t muster the energy to thank him.

..••°°°°••..

This time, Jing Yuan didn’t wake up alone. Instead, strong arms circled him from behind. Though the body behind him was noticeably tense.

Jing Yuan forced his eyes open, greeted by the sight of an extremely unamused Lingsha. He gave the healer a sheepish smile, but she shook her head firmly, holding out her hand expectantly for his wrist.

Lingsha’s expression smoothed out quickly despite her dissatisfaction from before. “You’ve stabilized your heart demons for now, but you will still need to maintain a strict regimen to continuously improve.” She closed her eyes with a tired exhale. “The incense, the tea, the meditation…it was all meant to keep you stable. It’s not a cure. You will still need monthly checkups to ensure your improvement.” She left no room for argument. 

After releasing his wrist, Lingsha brushed off her dress and turned to go. After a moment of hesitation, she turned around. “It’s good to have you back, General.”

Jing Yuan smiled warmly at her as she turned away again. “Your return…it’s a very good thing for the Luofu. The Alchemy Commission is in good hands.”

He didn’t see the expression on her face before she left, but he had a feeling it was one of emotional conflict.

After her departure, Jing Yuan rolled around innocently to face the man behind him. He raised an eyebrow, but didn’t speak. Instead, he acted, pulling Jing Yuan close for a kiss.

The two kissed for a long time, gently caressing each other’s bodies with no intention of taking things further. Jing Yuan’s hips were already sore enough after last night.

When it was inevitably time for Blade to leave, Jing Yuan got up to follow him to the door. 

“It’s a shame this little vacation came to an end.” Jing Yuan cocked his head, leaning against the doorframe.

Blade shook his head. “You’re desperate to get back to the people of the Luofu.” He pointed out.

Jing Yuan smiled in return, thoroughly caught. “At the very least, you’ll need to come back soon. You have a daughter to take care of, after all.” He gestured with his head towards the cat weaving between Blade’s legs, pawing at his pants.

Blade was clearly amused, but gently pushed the cat away. She was terribly dissatisfied by his rejection, sticking her nose up at him and stalking away. 

“What a drama queen.” Jing Yuan noted, looking away from the cat to face Blade again. From now on, he could never look away. 

Blade returned his look, stepping closer to give Jing Yuan a passionate, lingering kiss. He seemed reluctant to leave as well, but they both had their respective duties to attend to. 

Eventually, Blade turned away.

Silhouetted by the setting sun, Jing Yuan rested his head against the door frame and sighed softly. 

Jing Yuan waited until Blade’s figure disappeared to step back inside and close the door.

He closed his eyes peacefully, content with the fact that Blade would return—that he would always come home.