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Begin Again

Summary:

“We can rest now, Viktor.” Jayce grabs his partner’s face, presses their foreheads together as relief washes over him like a tidal wave. It’s over. “We can finally, finally rest.”

The words are hardly out of his mouth before he is gasping in surprise, Viktor’s hand suddenly behind his neck, his lips pressed into Jayce’s own. Jayce’s eyes fly open for only a moment- a single moment for the shock to wash over him, for the fire in his core to become a blaze-

And then he’s responding in kind, his eyes sliding shut as he pulls Viktor into him, his mouth parting in invitation for the one person who’s never needed such formalities, who has always held the key, if only he’d ever dared to use it.

or: Jayce and Viktor’s existence continues, somewhere out in the cosmos

Notes:

sat down in a fever and wrote this in one sitting after seeing the end of season 2. i am so unwell

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

We finish this, together.”

 

Silence.

It is the first thing that Jayce becomes aware of, after the fact.

Blissful. Soothing. All encompassing.

There had been a pain, before. As the world had converged in on them, as the might of the cosmos had pressed in on him like a closing fist- as Jayce had fortified Viktor’s will with his own, as they’d taken on the consequences of their strayed courses, as they’d absorbed all the rot and decay that had become the hexcore-

It was a pain like no other. Every nerve of Jayce’s being was alight with fire, every cell screaming out in agony. Begging him to stop. To let go. To abandon Viktor to his fate.

But no.

Together.

That was the only thought pulsing through Jayce’s head. The desire to go up in flames with his world, to hold Viktor close as everything they’d tainted was washed away by their blood.

His heart ached, but this ache was a welcome distraction from the pain in his limbs. In his very soul.

You were never broken, Viktor.

God he wished he said that sooner. Perhaps much could have been avoided, if only he’d voiced just how utterly perfect Viktor was to him already.

Or perhaps nothing would have changed at all. There was still his illness. Still Jayce’s insatiable desire for greatness.

Perhaps they were always meant to fly too close to the sun. To burn their wings of wax, to fall like a comet in the night- burning too quickly, yet shining so brilliantly.

It doesn’t matter anymore. Jayce can feel it now as he sits, absorbing the silence like a photosynthesizing leaf. He breathes it in, soaks in its gentle embrace.

He expects his consciousness to fade now. For his lingering sensations to dissolve into nothingness- namely, the weight of Viktor in his arms, the feel of their foreheads pressed together, of their hands clasped together like an oath.

It should all be gone soon.

And as the pain sinks away, as it leeches from him like blood from an open wound- Jayce prepares himself for it. For his crossing of this world into the next, for the eternal rest he has so greatly coveted, ever since he first awoke to this hellish nightmare-

But, while the pain fades, while the silence settles-

The feel of Viktor in his arms does not.

A moment passes- perhaps an eternity, perhaps only a second or two. But eventually, Jayce can no longer bear it. He peels open his eyes, blinking rapidly against the glow of dawn light, just peaking over the horizon.

He has not faded. He has merely been transported, though why, he cannot work out.

We were meant to die.

But he is far from dead at the moment. Instead, he is situated on his knees, Viktor kneeling before him, his body half slumped into Jayce’s own. A quick glance around reveals that they are atop the cliff where Jayce had last seen the other Viktor- the man who was both his partner and his mage. The being who had presented Jayce with his gift of magic, and the one who had taken it away.

The mage is gone now. Jayce wonders if he is simply resting somewhere else, or if he’s traveled to another time line- or if, perhaps, he has disappeared for eternity, his work here on earth complete.

He wonders if that is why they are settled here now. If the last will of the other Viktor pulled them to this place, salvaged them from the self-destructing bomb that was the hexcore.

Viktor stirs before him, a soft groan escaping his mouth. The sound causes Jayce to turn, to return his attentions to the center of which he orbits.

“Viktor?”

His hands find Viktor’s face, gently helping him to raise his head. Jayce’s eyes scrutinize his expression, drinking him in like he may never have the chance to again-

Pain. It is all over Viktor’s expression, an agony of which Jayce knows no rival.Though somehow, he can tell it is not physical, this aching etched into Viktor’s face.

“Jayce…” Tears well in Viktor’s amber eyes- the first thing of note that Jayce picks up on. Gone are the vacant, mystical, iridescent irises that Viktor had possessed only moments before.

He looks like him again. And as the tears begin to spill from Viktor’s perfect, beautiful, warm amber eyes- Jayce can’t help but think it’s the most breathtaking sight in the world.

I’ve missed you, Viktor. So, so much. Jayce thinks he might burst with the bittersweet burn of it, with the gnawing in his gut that was once silent, now awoken with a vengeance.

“What have I done…?” Viktor whispers, his voice cutting through the silence like a knife. A part of Jayce breaks at this, the ache in his chest alight once more.

“Hey- hey it’s alright, V,” he pulls Viktor into his arms, and the man goes willingly, almost numbly- his body moving like a rag doll, like a puppet with its strings cut. Viktor presses his face into Jayce’s chest, his hands fisting in the material of Jayce’s tattered coat. “It’s ok. We fixed it, Vik. We saved them.”

Viktor shudders at his words, silent sobs wracking his lithe frame as Jayce holds him, running a soothing hand up and down his spine.

He’s… changed, Jayce thinks with wonder, looking down at the form which Viktor now possesses.

Gone is the hexcore body that had taken over the man Jayce loves. Gone are the runes, the festering disease that they had once called healing.

Now, he’s like a physical embodiment of the the Viktor that had existed with Jayce in his mind, just before the catalyst- the Viktor who had clasped his hands around the hexcore rune and had said goodbye to existence, to Jayce, to tomorrow.

He’s dressed just as he was when Jayce had first met him, all those years ago- his body clinging to the same stubborn strength he’d once had, his skin possessing the same healthy glow.

He has been rewound. Reworked. The rot cut away, leaving Viktor as he was, not as he became.

The only difference lays in his hair- which, while existing as the same length it had been as Jayce had met him- is now an iridescent pearlish color, the rising sun catching on it, setting it aglow. A blazing halo around this fallen angel’s head.

“I lost myself, Jayce.” The words are broken, laced with jagged edges and pointed tips. Jayce tugs Viktor a little closer at the sound, uncrossing his legs as he pulls Viktor between them, more properly settling him against his chest.

Sheltering him now in the ways he’d failed to do before.

Never again.

“You found your way back home again,” Jayce murmurs, his chin gently resting upon Viktor’s head. “And it wasn’t just you who was lost. That is a burden we both must carry.”

Together. Always together. In every success, in every failure. Viktor and Jayce have always been of the same making, their clockwork ticking to the same steady rhythm.

When one fell, the other was soon to follow. And now that they’ve started this fire, together they both shall burn.

Jayce doesn’t suppose it’s the worst way to go out. Far from it, in fact- if he were just a little more naive, he might call this particular hell his personal heaven.

He might still call it that anyway.

Viktor clings a little tighter to him, Jayce’s arms wrapping a little firmer around him in response. Holding on to eachother, as if their grip can mend the shattered pieces of both themselves and the world around them.

Neither of them speaks for a while after that, Viktor’s face buried in the warmth of Jayce’s chest, Jayce observing the slow rise of the sun as it spills into this wasteland of a world.

Nothing stirs, besides a few birds in the distance. Jayce wonders, perhaps, if they are truly, completely alone here.

He wonders if it is better this way. A blessing in disguise, actually. He had expected to face death for his and Viktor’s actions- instead, he is being offered this rebirth. A restart, with Viktor at his side, with the world they’d destroyed at their finger tips.

Perhaps there is a duty in this. Perhaps, with some time, he and Viktor can come to mend this world, in a way. To coax life out of its ashes, to see their past wrongs made just a little bit right.

We have an eternity, Jayce suddenly realizes, the notion slamming into him at full force. An entire lifetime with Viktor- with no war, no disease, no magic.

The meaning of it washes over him, fills him with a wonder beyond any he could have dared to dream in the past.

We can live a lifetime together.

It is too good- too wonderful a conclusion to the horror story he and Viktor had helped to write.

And yet here it is. Fate does not play fair, for better or for worse. Fate is not a kind master to serve, is not a merciful keeper. Sometimes the heroes suffer, and sometimes-

Sometimes the villains triumph.

Jayce and Viktor may not have been the villains, not in a true sense of the word- but Jayce still feels they deserved to pay far higher a cost than this. When so many lives were lost, to think they can walk away unscathed, unbothered as they live here now…

You are not unscathed, a voice whispers in his ear. It sounds an awful lot like the other Viktor- the weathered, worn, and weary old mage who had set Jayce down this particular path. You have both paid far beyond your share for the damages. This paradise is its own sort of prison.

But at least you shall bear it together.

Together.

It is all Jayce has ever wanted, when he breaks it all down. When he looks past the senseless pride he once had carried, the insistent drive for perfection, for success, for recognition.

All he truly ever wanted, at his core, was to be together with Viktor.

And now, that is all he has and more.

“I am so sorry, Jayce.” Viktor pulls back now, and Jayce allows him to, his hands still holding his shoulders as he finally meets Viktor’s gaze.

He looks… younger. More innocent.

Yet infinitely more haunted.

“I’m sorry too, Vik. For everything.”

Viktor shakes his head, another tear slipping down from his tired eyes as he looks to the ground. “You have nothing to apologize for-“

“I do,” Jayce insists, tipping Viktor’s face back up to meet his. “I never listened Viktor, and if I had-“ His throat closes up on him, pain raking through his chest like a serrated blade. “If I had, we might have avoided this all.”

Viktor chuckles then, a broken sound that seems to surprise them both. To knock them each from their wallowing. “Oh Jayce. We both know I am not that weak-minded. I think we would’ve ended up here all the same- er, wherever here is…”

Viktor looks around, seeming to notice their surroundings for the first time. Jayce watches as he takes it in, confusion first in his expression, and then a note of understanding.

“This is what would have been, isn’t it?” He isn’t really asking. Jayce can hear in his tone, in the soft resignation. “It looks peaceful here- though I suppose there is no one left to enjoy it.”

And now Jayce is laughing too, the sound half choked as the tears that had welled in his eyes spill down his cheeks. Viktor looks up at him in surprise, his expression conflicted as Jayce laughs despite the gravity of Viktor’s words, despite the somberness in his tone.

“I do not see the humor in this-“

“Oh Viktor, don’t you see?” Jayce manages to catch his breath, the relief-induced hysteria leaving him as everything else sinks in. “It’s just us here. Just us, Vik. Just you and me.”

Viktor opens his mouth to reply, and then Jayce can see this new information sink into his head, can see as he too begins to soak in the meaning of it all- that they are alone, unbothered here. With nothing to keep them apart, with a whole lifetime stretching before them to do as they please.

“We can rest now, Viktor.” He grabs his partner’s face, presses their foreheads together once more as relief washes over him like a tidal wave. It’s over. “We can finally, finally rest.”

The words are hardly out of his mouth before he is gasping in surprise, Viktor’s hand suddenly behind his neck, his lips pressed into Jayce’s own. Jayce’s eyes fly open for only a moment- a single moment for the shock to wash over him, for the fire in his core to become a blaze-

And then he’s responding in kind, his eyes sliding shut as he pulls Viktor into him, his mouth parting in invitation for the one person who’s never needed such formalities, who has always held the key, if only he’d ever dared to use it.

Viktor kisses like the world is about to end- or perhaps more fittingly, like the world just has. He kisses Jayce like he is breathing him in, like he’s a second away from fading into nothingness, and Jayce is his only tether to this earth.

“Did you mean what you said, back in the arcane?” Viktor mumbles the words into Jayce’s mouth, his lips sliding to kiss his neck, his breath hot- alive- on Jayce’s skin. Meanwhile his hand slides a path down Jayce’s chest, his torso, beginning to undo his belt with a level of expertise that is far beyond Jayce’s. “About me being…?”

“Beautiful? Unbroken?” Jayce gasps as Viktor begins to suck a mark onto his sensitive skin, his body burning like a fever is coursing through his veins. He lets himself lay back onto the grass as Viktor settles into his lap, one hand in Jayce’s hair, the other sliding into his pants. Jayce groans as Viktor takes him in hand, his touch desperate yet refined. His mouth is hot on his neck, his teeth scraping skin- Jayce hisses as Viktor nips, the sound turning into a moan as he soothes over the offending mark with his tongue, the heat of him seeping into Jayce’s very pores.

It’s all too much. And Jayce is suddenly painfully aware that it will be over much too quickly, unless he can turn the tide on this particular endeavor.

He rolls them then, his body bracketing Viktor’s in to the marred ground beneath them, breath coming out in short pants. Viktor’s hands move to clasp behind his neck, tugging against Jayce as he tries to reunite their lips- but Jayce holds his own, just for a moment longer. “I meant every word,” he gets out, his breath haggard despite having barely been touched at all. “Every single word, Vik.” He leans in then, finally following the pull of Viktor’s hands around his neck, his lips brushing over Viktor’s temple as they make their way to his ear.

“You have always been perfect to me,” he whispers, his lips tracing the shell of Viktor’s ear. His lover arches into him with the words, his fingers clawing into Jayce’s shoulders. “Never broken. Never incomplete.”

Viktor shivers as Jayce slips his hands beneath his shirt, his fingers tracing up and down his torso. He maps out every dip and plane of his chest, each outline of his ribs, their mouths sliding together all the while. Viktor huffs with impatience, but Jayce is determined to take his time, to soak in this moment for all that it’s worth. To learn Viktor as thoroughly as he can, to make up for all the time they’d wasted away.

When he’s had his fill, he draws his touch back, reaching to brush a stray lock of snowy hair away from Viktor’s angelic face. “You’re absolutely perfect, Viktor.”

His partner shudders at those words, his eyes glowing in the dawn light. ”Prove it.”

Jayce opens his mouth to reply, to layer as many declarations upon Viktor as he’d like- but then Viktor is pulling him in again, is rolling his hips up to meet Jayce’s and oh- oh, so that is what he meant-

Jayce groans, heat racing through him until his whole body is ablaze, so akin to the burning ache from before, except this time Jayce is glad to burn. He fumbles to get his hands between them, to finish the work Viktor had done on removing their clothes- or as much as they need removed anyway- his heart pounding like a drum in his ears.

Viktor gasps as Jayce finally rolls his body down onto his, as all the mangled, broken, tainted edges of their souls line up as their bodies align as one. Jayce presses open mouthed kisses along the tendon of Viktor’s neck, breathing him in, breathing him out. His tongue slides over the beat of Viktor’s pulse, his brain signing at the rhythm of it- alive, alive, alive.

It’s clumsy. It’s frenzied. It’s desperate and messy and- despite Jayce’s better efforts- still over far too quickly.

And yet it is everything Jayce could have asked for and more. It is perfection, held in a single moment.

This is the magic they had been seeking, if only they had been smart enough to open their eyes and see it. This is the earth shattering catalyst the two of them were meant to cause.

Who needs the power of the cosmos when there is this? Jayce wonders, as he comes down from the blissful high he had stumbled into, his chest heaving as he rolls off of Viktor, as he pulls the smaller man into his arms. Who needs a goddamn thing when there is this?

They lay there together, as the sun fully rises, as it crests into the sky, warming their tired bodies with its glow. They lay there and soak eachother in, soak the peace in, the much needed rest. Slowly tracing patterns on eachother’s skin, whispering words they’d never dared to utter before, promises they’d been sure they’d never be able to keep.

”I am not sure I know how to move on from this,” Viktor eventually murmurs into the silence, his fingers ghosting Jayce’s skin as he absentmindedly draws invisible runes onto his skin. “From everything I became.”

”That’s ok,” Jayce is quick to reply, his hand carding through Viktor’s hair. Iridescent strands flow like water through his fingers. He wonders if he’ll ever tire of the sight of it. “We can figure it out together.”

Viktor hums, the sound lost to the rushing of the wind around them. He doesn’t immediately answer, and after a while, Jayce stops expecting one.

But then-

”I’d like that,” Viktor finally whispers, a note of hesitation in his voice- like he is too afraid to voice what he desires, too ashamed to accept this fresh start that is being offered on a silver platter.

Jayce makes a mental note to relieve Viktor of these worries. To make it his personal mission to see his partner’s guilt washed away, to see his regrets drowned like stones in a lake, sinking, sinking, sinking- until they’re gone.

”I’d like it too,” Jayce replies, pressing a kiss into the crown of Viktor’s head, closing his eyes as he breathes the scent of him in- all starlight and dewdrops and blissful, blissful peace.

Neither of them makes any move to do much more for a while.

And why should we? Jayce thinks to himself, as Viktor eventually falls asleep in his arms, his snowy head nestled into Jayce’s chest. There will be plenty of time for everything else later.

After all- we have an eternity ahead of us.

Notes:

maybe the REAL magic was the gay post-death/resurrection sex they had along the way-

anyway, i wrote this SO quickly, so i apologize for any spelling errors!! im gonna go back and clean it up later, but for now- enjoy!!! act 3 sent me through way too many emotions way too quickly- i need some time to process

as always, thank you all so much for reading, and i’d love to hear your thoughts!!! your comments mean absolutely everything to me!!!

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