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The chimney is complaining about the Floo for many days. Kreacher is trying to fix the connection, but Floo magic is being temperamental at the best of times and Kreacher is not wanting to risk getting covered in soot again. The House is acting up a lot when it is unhappy. Master Potter is finally saying he will get in someone to repair it.
Kreacher is knowing that it will be taking at least four reminders.
Master Potter is having a good week, as it is only taking three reminders. He is letting Kreacher find a repair man because “I don’t have a bloody clue about Floo repairmen, get whoever you think, the house hates anyone who visits anyway.” Kreacher is considering Master Potter’s apathy a great thing, as it allows him to get on with fixing the House.
Kreacher is not thinking much of the repair man, who is rejecting Kreacher’s best treacle tart for a plain cup of Earl Grey, but the House is seeming very happy. The House is not being this happy since Mistress Walburga is living there. The chimney is even helping by almost fixing itself, which Kreacher is feeling is rude after his own efforts. Kreacher is not even needing to whack the pipes to get hot water flowing to the kitchen. The House is very pleased. Kreacher is not understanding why.
The Master is being very unhappy at the repair man, even though the chimney is practically belching fire and has cleaned its own soot away. Master is shouting something about “breaking and entering”, even though Kreacher is letting the man in. Kreacher is thinking this is an overreaction to the man not liking treacle tart. Master is bundling the repair man into the chimney, and is still very angry, even though the man is being whisked away by a Floo that is clearly working right as rain again.
Master is asking Kreacher not to let “Malfoy” in again, and this one, Kreacher is knowing from the tapestry.
That is why the House is happy. Young Master Malfoy is a Black.
Kreacher is not sure why Master Potter is not as happy as the House.
Master Potter is always careful to not tell Kreacher directly to do things, so Kreacher can decide what is best. In many cases this is being a mercy, because Master has a very poor grasp on making the House happy, and also on preparing food.
In this case, it would not be making a difference. Kreacher’s duty to the House is outweighing his duty to the Master.
Kreacher is going to be making the House happy. Master is going to have to live with it.
The House is having a hissy fit. The hot water has stopped running altogether and the Master is complaining because he is wanting showers.
Kreacher is saying that Master Malfoy is needing to come back to make the House happy. The Master is shouting a lot about “it’s my bloody house” and “it’ll just have to get used to it” and other incorrect things because Master is not listening to Kreacher explain what the House needs.
Kreacher is rolling his eyes and arranging Master Malfoy’s return anyway.
The House is very happy about the water and keeps flushing its pipes just because it can. However, Master Malfoy is trying to leave once the pipes are fixed. This is a problem.
“Is there another dessert Master may prefer?” asks Kreacher, after the treacle tart is being once again cruelly rejected.
“No, thank you,” he is saying, packing all of his House things into a large bag. Kreacher thinks the bag would look nice if it stayed in the House.
“Another Earl Grey?”
“I’m surprised I’m allowed back in here at all.”
“Master Potter is being extremely complimentary about the quality of your work,” Kreacher is saying, just as Master Potter is barging through the door and yelling “I thought I told you to get out!”
Master Potter is wrong and exhausting.
The House is once more sulking. The stove is refusing to cook, and the lights is flickering all evening, and all fires but the kitchen are cold, and Master Potter is shivering and insisting that no repairs are needed.
“I can’t just let my own house order me around,” he is saying, even though his teeth is chattering and Kreacher cannot make him hot tea.
Master is saying something about money pits and new builds that Kreacher is not following, but he is eventually agreeing that Kreacher can get someone to look at the house.
“Not Malfoy, though,” says Master Potter, because he is not understanding anything. “He can’t see me living like this.”
“The pipes and the kitchen Floo is working extremely well,” Kreacher is saying. “The House is liking the work of Master Malfoy.”
“Why does my house hate me?” says Master Potter.
Kreacher shrugs because it is being a very long list to get into.
“Master Malfoy is refusing to fix the lights without an apology from Master Potter,” Kreacher announces.
“Some bloody nerve! He’s the one who turned up at my house —”
“He is saying that he is doing exceptional work and is not deserving to be shouted at.”
Master is grumbling a lot but is using the nice Floo connection to say things like “Right, yeah, err, would be great to have you take a look at the lights, I don’t know what’s up with this place,” and “Kreacher thinks you did really good work,” and “Well, I wouldn’t say exceptional,” and “Fine! Exceptional! Whatever it takes to shut you up,” and is eventually climbing up from the fireplace to announce that Master Malfoy is coming back tomorrow.
He is slamming the front door as he is leaving to go somewhere warmer, which is odd because Master is looking very warm after talking to Master Malfoy. The House is getting back at him by leaving his bedroom window open when it is raining.
Kreacher is always being stuck in the middle. Kreacher is daydreaming about polishing the Malfoy family antiques once this all is being sorted.
The lights is back to normal and the fires are happier, but with every visit Master Malfoy is refusing Kreacher’s cooking, including four types of dessert, two flavours of biscuits and a charcuterie board.
Kreacher is figuring out what makes humans marry other humans, since the repair work is not seeming enough to keep him around.
Kreacher is spending his nights whispering to the House to calm down and wait for Kreacher to solve it before it starts breaking itself again. The House is very temperamental, and is liking to open all of the windows at night to air its anger. Kreacher is explaining to the house about self-care which he is hearing from his friend Binky at Parkinson Hall, but the House is not being currently open to feedback. Binky is saying that this is because the House is in a "cycle of self-sabotage".
Kreacher is truly holding this whole thing together.
Humans need to spend romantic time together before marriage, apparently, so Kreacher is trying some new things. Master Potter is stubborn, so Kreacher must be subtle.
When he is coming to fix the stove, Kreacher is telling Master Potter that the kitchen door is also broken and that he is needing to stay in there. House elf magic is very good at blocking doors.
“Kreacher, why is the kitchen filled with candles?” Master Potter is saying.
“It is annual candle testing day, sir. Kreacher is checking that all of his candles is working and burning bright. Results is being positive so far, sir.”
Kreacher is disappearing out of the kitchen to the other side of the door. There is lots of bangs and crashes, but Master Potter is eventually stopping kicking the door and is waiting for Master Malfoy to fix the stove.
“Strange fellow, your house-elf.”
“So bloody weird.”
Kreacher will allow this slander if it is giving the Master a better chance at marriage. His noble sacrifices will be going unnoticed.
The stove is getting fixed in less time than Kreacher is hoping. The House is terrible at understanding Kreacher’s long game.
Master Malfoy is offering Master Potter tea.
“My own tea?”
“I didn’t want to assume you knew how to make your own tea. I’ve been called out here so many times, I’m not sure you have any idea how to run a household.”
This is being very bad news. Master Malfoy must not be thinking that Master Potter is useless and worthless and very bad at household management, even if it is being true. Kreacher is finding a way to fix this.
Kreacher is overhearing Master using the perfectly clear Floo to ask about Master Malfoy. He is asking a Weasley, which Mistress Walburga would be saying is worse than not asking at all. This Weasley is saying things like “Yeah, he’s all right now. Still a bit of a git, but all right.”
Kreacher is worried, but when he is asking Master about Master Malfoy returning to look at the windows the next day, Master is not arguing with him, only asking what time.
Kreacher has a plan to show Master Malfoy that Master is not as useless as he is sounding and looking. Kreacher is leaving Master’s latest Gringotts letter on the table. He is still not sure what the purpose of a vault is, exactly, but Mistress Walburga is always being very insistent that a man’s vault is being a good indicator of his suitability.
Kreacher is also framing the photographs of Master Potter with the very small blue-haired human and displaying them clearly next to the newly working lights. Humans is liking pictures of other smaller humans.
Master Malfoy is not looking at the letters, but turning them over to hide the writing. Perhaps he is also not knowing what a vault is. He is turning a little pink at the pictures, though. Kreacher is considering this is a mixed result.
Master Potter is returning early from work, and Master Malfoy is asking about the pictures.
“Bit vain, Potter, framing shirtless pictures of you in your own home?”
Kreacher frowns. Master is not wearing a shirt in the pictures, but it is acceptable because the small human is covering up his chest.
Oh. But maybe that is what Master Malfoy is liking. Master Sirius is also enjoying pictures without many clothes in them. Kreacher is being of the opinion that pictures of clothes is the only pictures worth having, but humans are a mystery.
Master Potter is all stammering and taking down the frames and yelling Kreacher’s name and being tiresome. Master Malfoy is leaving again. Kreacher is thinking that maybe Master Potter will be being pleased with himself for ruining Kreacher’s plan, but Master is seeming even more upset by this.
Kreacher is avoiding him for a bit.
Master is spending a lot of time at work. He is not saying very much.
The House is needing Master Malfoy to come back, and Kreacher is not wanting the House to start breaking itself all over again. Kreacher cannot be dealing with a broken House and a broken Master.
Kreacher is thinking up a new plan.
“Come quickly, Master Malfoy,” Kreacher is begging through the Floo. The connection really is very good. Very clear. Kreacher is making his eyes as big as he can. “The House is trapping Master Potter.”
“Harry’s trapped?”
“Kreacher is not knowing what is happening. Master Malfoy must come quickly!”
Master Malfoy is turning up just as Master Potter is getting out of the very good working shower.
“What the—?”
“Ah. Err. Not. Trapped, then?” Master Malfoy is suddenly very interested in the ceiling even though he is already fixing the lights.
“Kreacher?” Master’s tone is very stern and his face is very red.
“I is thinking Master is being trapped in the bathroom, sir,” says Kreacher dutifully, looking at the floor and drooping his ears. “Kreacher is awfully sorry, sir, Kreacher is getting old and confused, Kreacher is going to punish himself—”
“No, don’t punish yourself — I mean, you don’t need to punish yourself — god —”
Kreacher is retreating backwards around the corner so that Master is not seeing him anymore.
“I’m sorry, Potter. I thought you may be in need of some assistance. I’ll just be going.”
“Don’t worry. Don’t know what’s up with that elf lately. Erm, while you’re here, though — I did have something I was going to ask you to take a look at.”
“Err, your towel — is slipping —”
“God, sorry. There. All better.”
“Quite. Something for me to take a look at?”
“Yeah, it’s just in my bedroom. This way.”
The door is slamming, which Kreacher knows is usually followed by shouting. Kreacher sighs. At this rate, the House will never be satisfied. Perhaps a punishment is being needed after all.
But the shouting noises is never coming. Kreacher is not hearing any noises, which he is soon realising is because the House is casting Muffling Charms over the entire floor.
Kreacher is deserving a nice cup of tea.
Master Malfoy is staying at the house a lot more now.
The Masters is being very happy. Kreacher is being punished with the amount of happiness-related noises he is not wanting to hear, and is encountering the Masters naked more often than he would like. He is writing to ask Binky about the etiquette of an elf presenting their Masters with clothes.
The House is being very happy. Master Potter is insisting that he is nothing like his House, but Master Malfoy is seeming to have the knack for repairing both of them. The kettle is whistling on the stove, fires is crackling in all the grates, water is gurgling through the pipes.
Kreacher is being very exhausted. The role of House-Calmer-And-Master-Wrangler-And-Match-Maker is a lot, even for an elf. And no one is thanking Kreacher.
Kreacher is not doing his role for the thanks, of course. Binky is saying that is crass. But Kreacher is hearing that the Malfoy House has heirlooms that will be making Master Regulus’ locket look like a potato.
Kreacher is biding his time, but he is having a wishlist ready.
The House is going to be the happiest.