Chapter Text
The reality of what that meant hit Leonard like a kick to the face.
“Wh—you didn’t know?”
Jim winced. Leonard was reminded of what Uhura said.
“Jim, tell me I didn’t just hear those words come out of your mouth and in that order. How in the hell did you not know I was an alpha?!” Leonard yelled. “I’ve only told you a dozen times!”
“I thought that was a joke! You don’t act like an alpha!”
“Oh, do tell, what does an alpha act like, Jim, since you’re an expert now!”
“I don’t—I don’t know! I thought you were a beta!” Jim hadn’t moved off the table. “I thought that was a comparison you liked to make. I didn’t think you were actually an alpha! There’s only like ten of them in Starfleet!”
“There’s five!” Leonard snapped. “Fucking five, and I’m one of ‘em! Jesus—Jim!”
He was dizzy now; full on vertigo. Resisting Jim’s heat-scent was becoming an insurmountable, herculean task. Breathing through his mouth wasn’t helping, and it only made the drool constantly pooling in his mouth drip down his chin.
He was hard in his pants, and there was no hiding it in these loose Starfleet slacks. Jim had moved to the other side of the table opposite Leonard and stood against it with his palms flat. His body would twitch every so often, and Leonard knew enough to know Jim must have been soaking through his pants.
“Why didn’t you look me up?” Leonard said, his voice a hard snap. Both of them had stopped talking. He needed to keep them talking. “You hacked Starfleet’s databases multiple times and reprogrammed the Kobiyashi Maru test but didn’t know I was an alpha?!”
“You…you never reacted when I was in heat before! I thought you were practically psi-null. And alphas are so rare—why would I assume that? Why I would I assume you’re an alpha?”
“Because I told you, Jim! I fucking said it to your face!”
“I thought you were joking!”
Jim’s voice rose with his mounting frustration, yelling in the privacy of their chamber while Leonard slowly lost his mind. Leonard went silent and paced, trying to ignore the pressure in his groin.
“You’re drooling,” Jim said curiously after the silence that stretched on. He sounded a little faraway, like the way Leonard felt.
Leonard braced his hand on the wall, as far away from Jim as he could get, and wiped his chin with his sleeve.
“Yeah,” he rasped. “Can’t help it.”
His body, like Jim’s, would be responding to his pheromones by pumping out his own. Those hot little chems were fucking dangerous, because Leonard couldn’t stop his body from doing it. Their scents would mix and mingle, growing steadily stronger and encouraging a bond. Even if he managed to stay away from Jim, Leonard had no idea if they wouldn’t form some kind of bond anyway. That’s how strong Jim’s scent was.
“Fuck, man.” He heard Jim squirming against the table, sliding his hands forward and back. When Leonard peeked over, he watched Jim arch, thighs twitching, muscles along his shoulders rolling. “Heat is…really fucking different with an alpha in the room.” He laughed a little hysterically. “I really thought I had it bad before. I’ve always described it like an itch you can’t scratch.”
“I’ve got a high psi-rating,” Leonard ground out.
Jim kept glancing at him, gnawing on his thumbnail, and then his knuckles. He bit deep indents into his skin, eyes locked on Leonard’s. Those goddamn oceans. Leonard could drown in that gaze—hell, he was drowning in it.
“Bones,” Jim said, a hot rush of air. “It’s a lot worse than an itch.”
Leonard realized he’d been holding his breath and exhaled a shuddering gush.
“You’ve got a bond, right?” Leonard asked, his last hope. “You bonded during your last heat, with another omega, preferably? Tell me you did. Tell me you have a bond.”
“Do you remember when I had that reaction to that vaccine back at the academy?” Jim said instead of answering his question, forcing Leonard to reconstruct parts of his brain to understand what he was saying. It took what felt like a few minutes.
“The Me-Melvarin Mud Fleas?” Leonard guessed.
“No, the other one,” Jim laughed and sank his teeth into the pad of his thumb, brushing the underside of his plush lower lip with his nail. “Try again.”
“Jim, you’ve had so many reactions to innocuous things that even if my brain wasn’t a pile of mud, you’d have to remind me.”
“When I first entered the academy,” Jim said. “Remember I had that, uh, pretty bad reaction that totally fucked up my cycle?”
“Oh. Yeah,” Leonard said. “Why?”
Oh, he remembered that one. That was the first time Leonard had encountered what it was like to be close quarters to an omega in heat. They shared a small room, and that week Leonard had stabbed hypo after hypo into neck and taken scent-inhibitors.
“Your pheromones were…off the charts,” Leonard said. “You spent a week going in and out of classes whenever your body decided to take a bite out of you. I had to haul your sorry ass home a few times.”
“Yeah. You did.” Jim’s smile softened. “You looked after me the whole time. You’d book it to our dorm from your classes across campus. You rented a hover bike.”
“Shuttles took too damn long,” Leonard said, shrugging like it wasn’t a big deal.
“You didn’t have to do that. But you did.”
“If you’re trying to distract me, Jim, it isn’t working.”
“What I’m trying to do is tell you that I trust you. I trust you more than I trust myself, Bones.” Jim leaned hard over the table and scrubbed his hands through his hair. Then he hung his head and shrugged. “I feel like such an idiot. I thought you were a beta. Psi-null. I thought I didn’t have a chance. And I don’t have a bond.”
Leonard shook his head slowly. “Jim…”
“You kept asking me why I wanted to do this. If I’m being completely honest,” Jim trailed off, pausing to swallow, “I was kinda hoping that through all this I’d find a way to form one with you.”
Leonard took a single step towards Jim and then practically flung himself at the wall. He slammed his fist into it.
“Don’t fucking say that to me, Jim,” he hissed, his tone taking on a desperate, hard edge. “Why the fuck would you say that to me? Do you want me to come over there and fuck you ‘til you’re dead? ‘Cause the horse has left the barn, and I’ve been trying to lock it in again, but it ain’t workin’.”
“Then what do you want, Bones?”
“Well, Jim, that’s easy. I’ll tell you what I want to do,” Leonard said, his voice low and furious. “I wanna bend you over this table, and I wanna fuck you. I wanna fuck you so bad if I take even one step closer to you—”
He stopped. Hands slowly clenching and unclenching, Leonard wished he had something to hold onto. To break. His PADD was near Jim, and he couldn’t reach it to see about letting them out of this room, flammable air be damned.
“That’s funny, Bones,” Jim said. “I want that too.”
“Stop talking,” Leonard said, like a threat. “Stop. I’m serious, Jim. You don’t want that. It’s your heat talking, making you think you want all sort of things you’d never in a million years agree to.”
“Did you even hear—”
Out of nowhere Jim’s comm signaled a call coming through. They both stared at it, and then Jim slid it in front of him and answered.
Leonard was so grateful he couldn’t breathe.
He wanted to tear it from Jim’s hands and take away any possibility that they might have a way out of this.
Uhura’s voice filtered over the speaker. “Jim. Hi. I just wanted to check in. Are you two okay in there?”
Leonard shook his head slowly. “Jim, you fucking tell her you need out of here, and I need to be sedated. You tell her that right now.”
Jim lifted his comms and licked his lips. Then he cleared his throat, swallowing.
His voice was completely even when he said, “we’re fine, Uhura. I’ve taken suppressants, Bones has taken suppressants.” He even added a touch of humor into his voice. “You just worry about sitting around and looking pretty.”
“Oh my god, why do I even bother—”
Jim hung up on her and tossed his comm aside. Then he lowered his head and exposed his throat to Leonard.
It took four even strides for Leonard to reach Jim. He grabbed him by the shoulders and hauled him into the nearby wall, only because he needed something to hold him against or he really might do something he’d regret.
Jim’s hands were all over him, going from his chest to his shoulders and up into his hair. His mouth was a hot, searing weight against Leonard’s. He kissed Leonard like he wanted to devour him; no, he kissed like he wanted to be devoured, all teeth and tongue, begging Leonard to take control. He moaned in incessant, hungry bursts, clutching at Leonard’s shirt greedily.
Leonard grabbed Jim by the backs of his legs and hoisted him up against the wall, grinding his cock into Jim’s groin.
Apparently, Jim wasn’t having it.
“Bones, Bones, Bones, stop. Stop. Stop. I need—o-oh my god that’s worse now. How is it worse?” Jim tried to push him away, but Leonard growled and leaned harder into him, biting down on that inviting throat. Jim’s hips rolled into him. “Let me go, Bones. Put me down put me down.”
“I told you, Jim, the horse has left the barn—”
Jim pushed Leonard away with a strength he didn’t know Jim still possessed, knocking him flat on his back on the floor. Jim scrambled on top of Leonard and ripped at his pants with his hands. The zipper may as well have been an Angorian puzzle toy for all the good his efforts made. His hands were shaking so bad that Leonard took over so Jim could work the fabric down past his hips.
The moment Jim was exposed to the air, Leonard well and truly lost it. He was drooling like a madman, and Jim—Jim looked at him like he was everything he’d ever wanted. Leonard only shoved his underwear down enough to free his cock. It was a lot bigger than Jim’s, enough to fill him and then some.
Before he could grab hold of him and stick his cock where it needed to go, Jim withdrew and took several steps back.
“Why do I feel like I want to run from you?” Jim said, his chest heaving. His cock stood proud against his stomach, and Leonard could see the slick dripping from his pussy down the side of his leg. “That’s never happened before.”
Leonard threw his pants off—wrestling with his underwear for too long because he couldn’t take his eyes off Jim—while his mouth moved without him hearing any of it.
“Instinct, I’d reckon. Current theories pit it as a simple evolutionary trait,” Leonard answered. He didn’t know where the moment's sanity had come from; maybe because Jim was slowly backing away from him, drawing on his instinct to be cautious with prey. “You want the best—the one who’s fastest; strongest. I’ve gotta earn it.”
Leonard slowly—so slowly, like he was trying not to spook a shy foal—rose to a stand. The brief grasp on his sanity was slipping through his fingers like water.
“If you run, Jim, I won’t be able to let you go.”
Jim’s gaze landed on his cock, a weak, hungry groan leaving his parted lips.
“Fuck,” he breathed, and ran.
There wasn’t anywhere to go, so Leonard was fast approaching by the time Jim sprinted to the other side of the room. He slammed Jim into the wall, but then Jim wriggled out of his grasp and leapt across the table to the other side of the room.
The next time Leonard caught him, they grappled. Jim had way more experience in hand-to-hand than Leonard, even mid-heat. He landed a solid punch to his shoulder and his ribs, but Jim’s smell buoyed Leonard to ignore the flaring pain.
Jim wanted him. He could smell he wanted him.
They made two circuits of the room before Leonard managed to grab his arm, stopping Jim short of making it across the table a third time. It was bolted to the floor, so when Leonard dragged him back and spun him around on the table so they were facing each other, he didn’t have to worry about the table collapsing.
“I’ve got you,” Leonard said. “I’ve got you, Jim. I’ve got what you need. Hold on a second. Just hold on…”
“Bones,” Jim said, his legs parting, eyes wild with hunger. He bit his thumb, eyes fluttering when Leonard didn’t waste any time and slid right where he belonged, feeding his cock into Jim’s wet pussy with a squelch. “Fuck, yes.” He arched his back, his cock giving a weak, premature spurt of clear fluid. “Yes, fuck yes, yes, yes!”
The sound Jim made when Leonard bottomed out was pornographic. His hands latched onto Leonard’s shoulders, and all that was left was to move.
The table creaked as Leonard snapped his hips hard and fast. He didn’t start slow, and didn’t bother asking if Jim wanted it. Based on the way his eyes had screwed shut with concentration and the tight, controlled grunts that escaped his throat every time Leonard’s cock pistoned into him, he didn’t need to worry. There wasn’t any room in his head for worry.
Leonard was just glad the table could withstand a beating. He braced his hands on Jim’s hips and hiked him up a little, changing the angle and making the slide a little easier. Slick slid under his fingers and down where his balls slapped Jim’s skin.
He shoved the wet fingers on his free hand into his mouth and groaned. It was filthy and unsanitary and afterwards Leonard was going to hate himself.
Right then, he didn’t care.
Jim’s back bowed, the hand on his shoulders going tight. He buried his nails into Leonard’s skin.
“Right there, right fucking—there. God, Bones, this is crazy, I’m going crazy.” His other hand scrabbled for purchase on the table. He writhed, broad chest twisting in place. “I’m gonna go crazy. I’m coming. It’s not usually like this. I’m coming. I’m coming, comingcoming.”
Leonard fucked him harder. He moved to wrap a hand around Jim’s cock and gave him a few strokes, but he didn’t really need to bother; Jim had started to come before he’d even wrapped a hand around him, shooting his shot hard onto his chest and stomach, slick gushing around Leonard’s cock. His pussy pulsed and held onto Leonard like it wanted him to stay forever. He was losing it. Horse had gone and might never come back.
“Fuck!” Jim’s blue eyes blazed open. “What is that? Is that your knot?”
Leonard unclenched his jaw and looked down at where they were connected. To his embarrassment, his knot was already inflating.
“Yeah, it is. Time for an impromptu anatomy lesson, Jim.”
Jim’s answering laugh bordered on hysterical. “Why not! Now’s a great time, as long as you keep on fucking me.”
“Oh, I will,” Leonard said, planting both hands on the table to better leverage himself. The cold metal bit into his hips, but that was the least of his concerns. “What’s pushing at your labia is an—an alpha’s knot. Unlike those toys I bet you use, mine’s gonna be bigger.”
“Is that a fact,” Jim said, trying to hold onto a laugh, but Leonard had worked one of Jim’s legs over his shoulder and he kept thrusting hard, rendering Jim able to do little but moan.
“Yeah, it is a fact. Mine will be…bigger…because the first time alphas knot someone, it’s pretty fucking painful. No way around it. Least that’s what I’ve been told.”
Jim’s moans had gone high and needy, his body squirming to get away from Leonard. Maybe he was hitting his g-spot dead on, or maybe Jim could tell Leonard’s knot was about to pop. He slammed a hand against Jim’s shoulder to hold him still.
“Gonna be honest, Jim, I’ve never—never knotted anyone,” Leonard said in between gasps. Jim’s scent had spiked in intensity, riling up Leonard’s into doing the same. His hand twitched towards Jim’s throat. “Ex-wife was a beta. Seemed safer.”
No, he told himself firmly, moving his hand away. Prayed he could stand by that one rule.
“Don’t talk about your ex-wife right now,” Jim snapped, his pheromones rising like an angry tide. Stupid to do that to an omega in heat.
“Sorry,” he said, chastened. “You see, Jim, because a real knot is pretty damn big, most toys aren’t…made that large. At least the ones…” He paused to clamp his hand on Jim’s thigh and tug him closer. His slick on the metal surface wasn’t helping them any. “…most omegas probably get nowadays. So if you want, you can punch me and I’ll try not to knot you. For the record, I really, really fuckin’ want to.”
Jim didn’t punch him in the face, nor did he try to slow Leonard down. He did that anyway, moving from fucking to grinding. The way Jim groaned and twitched like he wanted to get away, fingers curling and digging into his skin, Leonard could tell he was sensitive.
“Gonna knot you,” Leonard warned, slamming their hips together hard. He stopped pulling out all the way, thrusting his hips in tight circles while his orgasm crept up on him. He realized he was drooling again and tipped his head back, swallowing rapidly, his hips losing their rhythm.
“Gonna knot,” he warned again. “Gonna knot you, Jim. I’ll keep coming in you while we’re locked together; it’ll be involuntary.” His palm slid across the table as Leonard crowded Jim, practically bending him in half. His lips touched Jim’s forehead. “You’re so fucking beautiful. Punch me if you want me to stop, I mean it.”
“Uh huh.” Jim’s eyes lost focus. They shut tight as Leonard’s hips snapped into him. “Fuck, that’s so fucking good.”
“It’s—it’s happening,” Leonard managed, right before his knot popped.
He’d knotted on his own, once, and that had been an experience, but knotting Jim—there was nothing like it. Leonard groaned wretchedly while he ground his hips to work himself as deeply as possible while his knot popped. It felt so good he nearly lost himself to his instincts and he had to snap his teeth shut and jerk his head away from Jim’s bare throat to stop himself from doing something stupid like forming a more permanent bond. They’d form something temporary simply by existing together, but he couldn’t do that to Jim. He wouldn’t.
“Jesus Christ,” Jim gasped, eyes snapping open. “Jesus, Bones…your knot—Jesus!”
Jim tried to scrabble away purely on instinct. His hands pushed at Leonard’s shoulders, and one of his feet caught Leonard’s hip and kicked, but Leonard held his shoulder down with one hand and caught his ankle, making him take it. Separating now would hurt Jim psionically far more than it would physically.
“Sorry, I know it hurts. I know,” he soothed. “I know, darlin’. Give it a few minutes.”
Tears in his eyes, Jim dragged Leonard down into a kiss. They hadn’t kissed, not since that first moment, and with the first wave of Jim’s heat dying down, Leonard wanted to savor it. He hummed, sliding their lips together, rocking into Jim—an instinct to keep the momentum going—drinking in his every sound. Leonard ran his hands along Jim's chest, stomach, and grabbed at his waist, feeling him all over. He loved Jim's body, and he wished he had the wherewithal to give it the attention he deserved. He pecked Jim’s lips repeatedly, deepening the kiss with each drag of his lips.
They stayed mostly silent while Jim gathered his wits, breathing through the pressure of Leonard’s knot. In all honesty, he didn’t know how long it was meant to last. He told Jim that, too.
“Could be five minutes or could be twenty. Unfortunately, I just don’t really know. Sorry.”
“That’s all right. I’m just gonna lie here for a bit,” Jim said, closing his eyes. He looked pale and pained.
Leonard looked around. The table they were using wasn’t exactly made for this. It was too high up, forcing Leonard to crane his body forward and practically stand on his toes. He did so without comment, knowing moving Jim just then would be an impossible task.
Sanity brought forth a clarity Leonard didn’t want to feel.
“I’m sorry,” he said to Jim, lips dry, heart aching. “I’m sorry, Jim.”
“Don’t be.” Jim touched his cheek. “It doesn’t hurt that bad. Really.”
Leonard opened his mouth, only to close it. Now wasn’t the time. Not in the middle of it, when Jim would be at his most vulnerable. All he could do was take Jim’s hand and kiss his knuckles on repeat, until Jim ripped his hand away, redfaced.
“You all right? Am I cutting off your circulation anywhere?”
“No,” Jim said, his voice strained. “Just—I’m good.”
About fifteen minutes went by, give or take. Leonard’s hips kept moving on their own, grinding into Jim. Leonard came once more, and then again when he drew a low moan out of Jim, circling his hips so hard he was biting at the table’s edge again.
“How many times is that? You’re gonna make me come again,” Jim said. He arched, and Leonard kept up his rolling grind, stroking Jim's cock leisurely, fisting his cockhead, and eventually Jim came quietly; deeply, trembling hard at his core, his face flushing a deep pink. Slick squirted around Leonard’s knot.
“God,” Jim breathed afterwards.
“My legs will scream at me come morning,” Leonard mumbled.
“Hm?”
Jim cocked his head from where he was lying flat. The table wasn’t all that wide either, so his head was close to hanging off. Leonard tried to shift and get him to where he could actually lie down proper, when what do you know, his knot slipped right out of Jim.
Leonard stepped back and then hit the ground with a relieved groan. “Jim, how do you…feel…”
He trailed off, realizing Jim’s scent had gone from that sweet molasses to something so deep and sickeningly sweet his throat tingled.
“Good lord,” Leonard breathed.
“Oh wow,” Jim said, slowly sitting up. “Wow, that works fast.”
His eyes blazed with renewed lust. He slid off the table and dropped gracelessly on top of Leonard. His hands slid up Leonard’s stomach, eyeing his cock covered in fluid and his own come.
“I’ve never wanted a dick so bad in my life,” Jim said. He licked his lips and lined himself up, sinking down. He moaned salaciously, rocking his hips as he worked Leonard’s hard cock inside him.
“Oh, fuck, Bones.” Once he’d bottomed out, Jim slid both palms up his chest and rocked some more. His lips parted. “Bones, that’s so good.”
Leonard’s fingers were white against the bare floor. His hips inched upwards, but Jim fucking himself on Leonard held him in place.
Should’ve worked on my core strength.
Jim was fucking himself faster now, but not by much. And Leonard didn’t know how he could stand it. He worked himself onto his elbows, trying to thrust his cock up into Jim to little effect.
“Usually don’t like it this slow but…” Jim’s hips slanted down and he arched like a contented cat. Then he did it again, sliding up and down onto Leonard’s cock like he’d been born for it. “Fuuck, Bones.”
“I’m trying!” Leonard snapped. He grabbed Jim’s hips and shifted his feet on the floor, finding enough purchase to snap his hips upwards. Jim’s groan became a shout before it melted down into warm moans.
If the room wasn’t soundproof, Leonard would eat his hand.
“Coming,” Jim gasped suddenly, his posture going from languid and lax to tight. He dug his nails into Leonard’s chest, sinking his hips down to try and match Leonard’s brutal pace, but Leonard was fucking up into him so hard he mostly sat there and took it.
Leonard’s fingers gripped Jim’s hips like a vice. “You’re a goddamn pillow princess, you know that, Jim? Making me do all the…damn…work!”
The position was doing something wicked to Leonard’s brain. He didn’t know what. All he knew was that he couldn’t stand that Jim was on top of him. He wanted to smother him; wanted to crowd him and hold him still. Leonard snarled. One of his hands snapped to the back of Jim’s neck and yanked him forward.
He came so close to biting Jim’s neck. So, so close. At the last second Leonard ended up kissing the skin at the base of his neck open mouthed, swiping it repeatedly with his tongue to work more of that scent into his mouth while he fucked Jim viciously from below.
When his knot started to pop, he pushed Jim onto his back and went back to snapping his hips, giving Jim a quick, gasping warning. “Gonna—knot.”
He could feel Jim’s body shaking under him as he worked his cock up into Jim’s pussy, burying himself as far as their bodies would allow. This time though, Jim didn’t try to get away. They rocked together, and Leonard grabbed onto Jim’s severely neglected cock and managed to work Jim into another orgasm that left him shaking.
“Jesus,” Jim breathed, once Leonard had knotted him. He clamped his hand down on Leonard’s to stop it from moving, oversensitive, as if he wasn’t trying to work himself on Leonard’s thick knot. “You’re killing me. And you’re drooling on me. Pretty certain these have been some of the best orgasms of my life, and I’ll be honest, we haven’t been trying that hard.”
Leonard chuckled. “You’re damn right.”
His good humor lasted only a moment, because the questions came flooding back now that he wasn’t in the thick of it. Leonard exhaled. How were they going to explain this?
“You weren’t wrong,” Jim said, his words starting to slur. “Holy shit. Your knot feels great now. Like really good. But it hurt like a bitch earlier.”
“Sorry,” Leonard said gruffly. He grunted as his cock twitched, come shooting out of him and inside Jim like it had been pulled. When it was over, he breathed out slowly.
“No, no, it’s…it’s good now.” Jim sighed and laid a hand over his come-coated stomach. “Feels good. Sorry I tried to kick you.”
“You don’t have to be sorry about a damn thing,” Leonard said with feeling. “How do you feel otherwise?” He combed his fingers through Jim’s bangs, brushing them back. “No pain anywhere?”
Jim quirked his lip at him. “Your bedside manner right now is, as Mr. Spock would say, exemplary. I’m fine, Bones.” He leaned his head back. “More than fine.”
“If I can’t bring up my ex-wife, you can’t bring up Spock.”
Jim snorted and shook his head.
“And you won’t feel that way for long,” Leonard continued. “We can’t stay here; there’s a room full of Starfleet officers across this wall.”
He looked around, eyeing their PADDs on the floor and the complete lack of any supplies in this room save for his medkit. Leonard’s hand moved from Jim’s hair to the side of his face. He traced his thumb along his cheekbone.
He said, “I think you should take a suppressant now, while your heat’s down.”
Jim opened his mouth like he wanted to argue, but then maybe thought better of it.
“Ugh, you’re right.” He scrubbed his hands over his face. “Whoever cleans this room is not going to like this. I’ll need to find a way to explain how this happened.”
Leonard held his tongue, barely. “Suppressant first. Then we get you to your room, and I’ll…”
Leave. He realized he couldn’t say it. His mouth wouldn’t form the word. The thought was unimaginable.
“We’ll get you set up with everything you need,” he made himself say. “I’ll make sure you’ve got plenty of water.”
“We’ve got plenty of water,” Jim said, scanning his face. Leonard felt a muscle in his jaw jump. “Bones, I know that look. What are you not saying?”
“I’m saying that you should take the suppressant now, Jim.”
“You’re going to try to leave,” Jim realized aloud. He sat up slightly, his look of betrayal adding to the guilt Leonard already felt.
“I’m—I’m just thinking about what’s right here. If you—"
“What’s ‘right’? Leaving me with an incomplete bond isn’t right.”
“Jim,” Leonard said, voice pleading.
Jim tried to sit back, realized it tugged on the knot and scowled. Instead, he hauled Leonard close and stared him in the eyes. “You can feel the bond, can’t you?”
“Yeah,” Leonard said. He felt his eyes shining, and hated that Jim wasn’t letting him look away. “Yeah, I feel it.”
“And you know what that can do to an omega, right? They call it heat-sick for a reason, Bones. So you’ll stay.”
Leonard couldn’t say anything in response to that. He was too weak, and Jim shone too damn bright.
“We’re gonna need to find a way to get to that suppressant, because if your heat keeps on like this, we’ll never even get a chance to move.”
“Yeah.” Jim’s lips pursed. He looked left and right and tried to strain his arm to reach the medkit, which had ended up where their clothes had fallen. “No dice. It might be time for the world’s most awkward crab walk. You ready, Bones?”
“Not really,” he said. What a fucking picture that would make.
They made it to the medkit. The less said about the experience, the better.
“I think it’ll work now,” Leonard said, bringing the hypo into place. Jim was on top of him again, and Leonard ignored the feelings that bubbled in his chest. Jim looked more tired than an omega in the middle of his heat had any right to be, listing towards Leonard when he braced it against his head. “Hold still.”
Jim barely twitched as he injected the suppressant. He laughed low in his throat. “Didn’t hurt at all. Imagine that.”
“I know how to be gentle,” Leonard said, his tone light, “when you deserve it. I’ve got steady hands.”
Jim leaned forward until he was practically chest to chest with Leonard. He flashed his signature smile, the corner of his mouth tugged up slightly more on one side.
“That so?”
“Yeah,” Leonard said, his voice a soft drawl. His hand moved on its own, brushing Jim’s hair out of his eyes and staring into them. Jim leaned his head on Leonard’s chest and grabbed his free hand; tangled their fingers.
As if on cue, Chekov’s voice came over the shipwide speakers.
“May I have your attention, please. The decontamination process has been completed. Thank you for your cooperation. You may return to your normal duties. Thank you for your time.”
“I think the suppressant is working this time,” Jim said, in an odd voice. “You’re not inside me anymore and I’m not feeling an unquenchable thirst for your dick.”
Leonard’s chest may as well have caved in the way he felt hearing that.
“That’s good, Jim. Real good.”
Jim’s smell taunted Leonard, but for the moment Jim wasn’t reaching out to his psionic senses. He’d manage.
Which meant Leonard couldn’t savor the moment.
“I don’t know how long we’ve got, so let’s get going quick,” he said, gently shoving Jim off him. “I’ve got an idea about the room. I have some privileges as CMO, and one of them is I can declare any room a biohazard. Until we deal with this officially, at least we can have it cleaned up.”
Leonard grabbed his PADD from the floor and started tapping while he worked on his clothes. Thankfully, their clothes had avoided most of the mess.
As Leonard placed an access restriction on the room, his eyes slid to another part of the screen where it was prompting him to attach a report.
There hasn’t been an incident in a hundred years.
Leonard slapped his hand on the table and bypassed the incident report. For the moment.
He glanced over to catch Jim in the middle of shrugging his shirt on. He hurriedly tugged it down at Leonard’s heated glance. Other than his bird’s nest of a hairdo and his damp skin, he might pass for normal.
Smoothing his sleeves down his arms, he flashed Leonard a winning smile. “Showtime?”
Leonard nodded. “Let’s make this quick.”
Unsurprisingly, several people were waiting for them when they left the room, including Lieutenant Uhura. And Spock.
“Shit,” Jim murmured. Pressing a hand to Jim’s back, Leonard glanced around for an escape but couldn’t find one. He felt Jim’s muscles bunch under his palm. His hand snatched Leonard’s and gripped his wrist.
They made it maybe three steps before Uhura called out to them.
Plan B it is.
Leonard spun around, forcing down every urge to growl and plastered his most charming smile on his face.
“Lieutenant Uhura. And Commander Spock! Hey, guys.” The pitch of his voice went high, but he couldn’t seem to wrangle it back to normalcy. “How’d you enjoy our little seminar?” He tried to shove his hands into nonexistent pockets and then recovered by simply planting them on his hips. “And how about that announcement. Decontamination? I mean, come on!”
Uhura cocked her head, a thoughtful look on her face Leonard didn’t like; Spock quirked a big Vulcan brow; even Jim was looking at him like he’d gone crazy. Clearly, he’d missed the mark and then some.
“Aside from the decontamination procedures getting in the way of my lunch hour, I enjoyed it. You’d make a good teacher, Doctor McCoy,” Uhura said. To Jim she added, “everything all right with you?” Her eyes flicked to Leonard. “We won’t keep you long. I’m sure you want to get out of here.”
“Indeed.” Spock crossed his arms behind his back, facing Leonard when he said, “Although I was not present for the majority of your lecture, what little I did observe I found, in a word: fascinating. The topic of your species’ secondary sex is infrequently discussed—particularly that of the ‘alpha’. Of which you are one, are you not, Doctor?”
“Ah, yeah. Yep.” Leonard leaned forward slightly. “Just F-Y-I, Spock, we don’t usually talk about these things so openly. Today being an exception.”
“That I had gathered. Though on this topic I have an inquiry, if you wouldn’t mind discussing it with me. Based on my admittedly limited knowledge—”
Oh, great. Leonard buckled up for a long, slow ride on the Vulcan Curiosity train, but then Jim stepped forward and interrupted Spock.
“Sorry, Spock, I actually need Bones to come with me. You guys can have your alpha talk later.”
“Captain—"
He didn’t even wait for Spock’s response before he began dragging Leonard away. It was amazing what a little space and a single suppressant could do. With Jim’s scent inhibited and his pheromones under control, Leonard practically felt like a normal human being, so when they neared the elevator, Leonard suddenly veered off and then he was the one dragging Jim.
“Bones, where are you taking me?”
Jim didn’t sound happy. Leonard didn’t think he would be.
“Medbay,” he ground out.
“What? Why?”
“You know damn well why, Jim.”
“No, I don’t.” Jim stopped in the middle of the hallway. He looked pale and sick from the suppressant putting a pause on his heat; every instinct in Leonard wanted to comfort and look after him.
“Assault,” Leonard spat.
Jim’s brow furrowed. “What?”
“What I did to you just now was assault.”
“Bones,” Jim started with a laugh too close to incredulous. “You did not assault me.”
Leonard tried to keep his voice low, but Jim was in such a frazzled state he wasn’t succeeding.
“Jim, we went in there for a lecture that was meant to last less than an hour at most and we came out—” he lowered his voice into an angry hiss “—temp-bonded!” Leonard threw his hands in the air. “I failed you in every possible way I could have.”
“You didn’t fail me, Bones. You did the opposite of failing me. If you’re taking names, then—”
“Don’t say a damn word. I can see it in your eyes. What happened in there with those suppressants was my responsibility. If I heard another officer had done what I did, they’d be court-martialed before the report was even filed.”
Jim opened his mouth to respond, and had to stop when people started passing by. Jim started moving, pulling Leonard along towards his quarters. Leonard was helpless to do anything but follow.
The moment the doors closed on them, Leonard knew they weren’t leaving that room. And he couldn’t stand it.
“We’re making a call to medbay,” Leonard said, but couldn’t move. “I’m filing an incident report.”
“Bones, listen to yourself. You didn’t assault me. I wanted it. You want to point blame? I’m at fault for not telling Uhura what was going on when she called.”
“You weren’t in your right mind!” Leonard snapped. “Of course you wouldn’t want anyone to intrude if you were in the middle of your damn heat!”
“Neither were you.”
Leonard inhaled. Exhaled.
They probably had ten minutes, give or take, until his omega suppressant wore off. Those contained scent inhibitors, thank the lord.
“I was fully aware of what I was doing,” Jim said. “Heat is a motivator, but it doesn’t turn me into a zombie, Bones.”
“You would’ve done the same with anyone,” Leonard insisted, moving into Jim’s bathroom because he needed somewhere to be that wouldn’t involve looking at Jim.
“Oh, don’t start with your sexist bullshit. You know that’s not how it works.”
“Sorry,” Leonard said, his voice low and weak. He stared down at the sink, considering dunking his head under the spout. Maybe it would help.
“And what about now, since you’re so certain?” Jim said, following him. “Am I in my right mind now?” When he didn’t respond, Jim stepped forward. “Well?”
“In medbay, there’s a different type of suppressant,” Leonard said, eyes on Jim through the mirror. “It will put a stop to your heat completely. You might feel sick for a few days after. I want you to take it.”
“What the fuck?” Jim stepped away from him. “No! I’m not taking that.”
“Jim, you have to understand—I feel so guilty it’s making me sick,” Leonard said, his voice giving a wobble he didn’t expect. “That I did that to you…I don’t know how you’re standing the sight of me.”
“God.” Jim’s reflection in the mirror raised his palm over his forehead. He turned away from Leonard and breathed shakily through his mouth. “You’re not listening to me.”
“I want you to take it.”
“And how are we going to get it? I’m three seconds from trying to fuck myself on you, and the suppressant hasn’t worn off. How are we going to get it?”
“Make the call,” Leonard said. His hands curled around the sink. “We’ll report what happened and you’ll be escorted there.”
If Jim actually made that call…
Jim was silent for a long time before he responded. Long enough that Leonard finally turned around. He was shocked by the expression on Jim’s face.
“You know what will happen if you make me do this,” Jim said. His voice cracked. “I’ve been heat-sick before. It was horrible, and my bond at the time didn’t…it didn’t feel anything like this.” He grabbed at his shirt with both hands. “I have never felt a bond like this. I know you can feel it, Bones—I can feel it.” Jim met his eyes. “And it’s…it’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”
Jim’s eyes shone, bright and open, like the rest of him. So bright Leonard couldn’t resist.
“You don’t mean that,” Leonard said, shaking his head. “You don’t. You don't, Jim.”
“No. You know what, Bones? I'm done. I'm done pretending. I do mean it. I mean it more than I've meant anything in the last fucking decade of my life. You can test my fucking cognitive functions if you want to, but it doesn't matter, because bonds don’t make you fall in love with someone.” Jim's voice was fierce with feeling. A laugh slipped out of him. “Fuck, yeah, okay, I really just went and said it. Years of locking that away and here we are. Shit, that's terrifying to say.”
Hope bloomed painfully in Leonard’s chest.
“Don’t say that,” Leonard said, still shaking his head slowly. “Please don’t say that unless you mean it, Jim. I’ll—"
“Fuck me ‘til I’m dead? I hope so.” Jim’s lip quirked in his trademark half-smile. “I can’t do it, Bones. I won’t stop this. Horse has left the barn for me, too. I don’t care if we can’t go back to what we were before. We’re already way past that. Unless you tell me that you don’t want me, we’re staying here. You are staying here. That’s an order." He paused. "And I think I might kill you if you try to leave. Wow, this bond is kind of fucking with me.”
Leonard was familiar with the practices and theories. He knew the ins and outs of bonds and what an incomplete bond could do to an omega. And he knew—theoretically—how strong an alpha’s bond was.
Leonard opened his mouth. “I…haven’t ever bonded before. Not even with my ex-wife. Jim…”
“Would you have wanted me otherwise?” Jim asked, so sincere, and with such pain that Leonard was struck speechless. Struck so strong it was like a gut punch that pulled out the truth.
“Of course. Jim, I’ve always wanted you! Always.”
“Then what’s the problem?” Jim's voice was plaintive.
“I shouldn’t want you as bad as I do,” Leonard admitted. “You drive me crazy, Jimmy. Always have.”
Jim’s eyes scanned his face. His lips pursed.
“We are going to have words when this is over. For now, when this injection wears off in about thirty seconds, we’re bonding.”
“Jim. You—that's the kind of crazy I'm talking about! This isn’t a decision to rush into!”
The dizzying pressure in his head was back. Leonard breathed through his mouth. The suppressant had been wearing off, but once it was gone, all bets were off. Jim’s scent was all over everything. Everywhere.
“I love you, Bones.” Jim took a step closer. “You know I love you.” Another step. “And I know you love me.”
“’Course I fucking love you,” Leonard choked. He didn’t know why his eyes were wet.
“We’ve said it before, I just didn’t…I didn’t know it could include this.” Jim was close enough to kiss Leonard, soft and slow and sweet. “I’m not letting you get away from me again.”
The suppressant fully wore off. Jim smiled against his mouth.
He ran.
His quarters weren’t particularly large, and Leonard bolted after him anyway. Maybe a couple seconds had passed when he grabbed Jim by the arm and slammed him into the nearby wall.
Their mouths crashed. Leonard struggled to stop kissing Jim while his hands shoved madly at his pants.
“I can’t stop it,” Leonard warned. “Not this time, Jim.”
“If you do stop, I might kill you,” Jim said, eyes glittering with the last glance of humor before they were reduced to animals.
Somehow they avoided the floor and made it to the bed. The wet heat between Jim’s legs smelled divine; there were no longer fitting descriptors for that scent. Leonard wanted to shove his mouth there and eat Jim out until he screamed, but his cock found it first, and that was the last coherent thought he had for a while. Leonard thrust wildly into Jim while Jim’s nails burrowed into his stomach. Neither of them made a sound that wasn’t pornographic in nature until Leonard was grinding his knot hard into Jim.
“Jesus, that feels so fucking good. God,” Jim moaned. A violent shiver tore into him when Leonard kept grinding while he stroked his own cock. “Why’s your knot like…fuck, like magic.”
“Never had it described like that before,” Leonard said with a chuckle.
Jim’s eyes screwed shut as Leonard’s rolling grind sent Jim tumbling through another orgasm. And then one more for good measure a few minutes later, when Leonard helped him along by stroking his spent cock and sucking on one of his nipples. Jim was sensitive all over—he couldn't wait to explore that more in the future.
“‘S good,” Jim breathed. “That's our psionic—pheromones doing that, right? Not to echo Spock, but that is so fucking fascinating. And why does your knot make me feel like I’m going insane? You’re drooling on me.”
Leonard wiped his mouth. “Yeah, well, stop smelling so damn good. Apple pie, my ass,” he grumbled. “And to answer your question—yes. Let’s hope this one lasts a little longer, because we need a plan. We didn’t get water. Or towels. Or anything we should have for this vacation together.”
“Replicator works just fine.”
Jim’s voice dipped with low warmth. He smiled widely at Leonard.
“I’m not even thirsty,” he added.
“Of course you’re damn well not.” Leonard prodded his stomach. “Your body’s putting all its effort into making a bond. Don’t worry: I’ll be forcing fluid down that gullet so often your piss will run as clear as your come.”
“Your dirty talk is so arousing, how do you do it,” Jim said dryly. The smile stayed glued to his face, even when the knot slipped away and they got back to fucking.
Without any barriers in place, and now that they’d full on school-kid confessed to each other, there was no stopping the bond. Leonard couldn’t stop. He tried. He really wanted to give it an effort, but the next time his knot sat fat and waiting to plug Jim up for the foreseeable future, Jim exposed his pretty neck and Leonard’s mouth overflowed.
“You want to bite me that bad, then bite me,” Jim said, grabbing at his hips, trying to force his knot inside. “Fucking bite me, Bones. Bond me. Come on, Bones, come on, bite me. I love you. I fucking love you, so bite me, you idiot—”
Leonard barely realized he’d gone and done it until his teeth broke the skin surrounding his glands. Scent burst into the air, choking Leonard’s throat, making him bite down harder. He grasped Jim and fucked his fat knot inside him, bunching up the sheets in his efforts. He heard Jim shriek in his ear, warm wet spilling between them. When Leonard finally pulled away, Jim started gasping.
“Oh my god. Oh god. It’s burning. Why’s that burning?”
Leonard couldn’t speak. His mouth tingled. A faraway part of his brain noted that their pheromones would be so intensely mixed there was no stopping it now. It explained the burning feeling.
“It’ll be over soon. I’ve got you,” Leonard murmured into Jim’s mouth. Jim licked the blood from his lips. “Love you, Jim. Have I said that yet?”
“You have.” Jim wrapped his arms around Leonard’s neck. “Say it again.”
“I love you. Love you so much. I’m—”
“—very high off the alpha-specific chemicals currently hard wiring you to see me as the best mate you’ve ever had,” Jim rattled off. Leonard knew he was right; it didn’t make it any less true.
“I’m going to look over you soon as we’re done here. That bite needs disinfectant.”
“Always worrying. Relax, Bones. We’ve got a whole heat ahead of us to worry.”
Over time, Leonard managed to wrangle some fluids and solid foods into Jim and himself. A few hours passed, and in between bouts of marathon sex, Jim answered messages and even filed a few reports on his PADD. It started to feel comfortable in a way that Leonard still couldn’t fully accept.
“We should still file an incident report,” Leonard said at one point. He’d fucked and knotted Jim from behind, which gave him the opportunity to press a kiss to the back of Jim’s neck.
“Even if you did try to file one, I wouldn’t let it through.” Jim lifted one shoulder. “You would lose your job, Bones, at best. Is that what you really want?”
Leonard just kissed his neck again. He peppered the warm patch of skin in kisses, pausing when he reached the spot he’d sank his teeth into.
“There won’t be any hiding this,” Leonard murmured against the mark. “HR’s gonna have a field day.”
Once Jim’s heat reached its end, Leonard switched gears and examined Jim like he would any other patient. He sat next to him on the bed, a basic tricorder in hand. Unsurprisingly, their frantic sex had resulted in bruises on them both. Jim’s thighs bore the brunt.
“We’ll patch you up soon as your chems stop spewing,” Leonard assured Jim.
“Nah. I like ‘em.” Jim shrugged. “It’ll make for a pleasant reminder for the next few days. It’s good.”
“Oh, it’s good, is it?” He prodded a bruise and earned a yelp from Jim. “You get twenty-four hours. Knowing you, it would result in a blood clot.”
“Then it’s a good thing my CMO is also now my mate.” Jim walked two fingers up Leonard’s arm. “And we have a bond.” He bounced in place on the bed. “Do you have any idea how happy I am right now?”
Time would tell how the bond would affect them. Leonard knew in theory, but the difference was already rearing its head. He didn’t want to let Jim go.
“You don’t have to look so pleased,” Leonard said, frowning. His frown softened when Jim pecked his mouth three times in quick succession.
“I can kiss you any time I want.” Jim’s smile widened. “I don’t know why I was so afraid for so long. Now that we’re bonded, I keep asking myself how I didn’t see it before. The way you look at me…”
Leonard swallowed. He wanted to ask what he looked like. “Always been sweet on you, Jim. Can’t help myself. At least you got exactly what you wanted out of this. I wanted this outcome the way I’d want a rash.”
That didn’t come out the way he meant—he’d meant more along the lines of how it had all gone down—but Jim didn’t look angry.
“You didn’t want me?” Jim asked, eyes glimmering but half serious in a way that had Leonard scrambling to respond.
“I’m—of—of course I did. Do. I’m joking, darlin’.” Leonard bumped their shoulders. “Want you like I want a real southern breakfast from back home: badly. All the damn time. I’d kill for real bacon and eggs.”
“You’ve been mentioning apple pie whenever scents came up lately. Is that…” Jim tried to look casual when he took and fiddled with Leonard’s hand. “Is that what I smell like to you?”
“Yeah,” Leonard admitted. “I mean—it’s complex. Difficult to describe. That’s the closest comparison I can make. What do I smell like to you?”
Jim blinked and leaned away from him. His scent wafted around the space whenever he moved; Leonard would be sad to grow used to it; to lose its uniqueness, even if he longed for Jim’s scent to mingle with his until they were nigh on indistinguishable.
“It’s…like medbay.”
“Medbay?”
“It’s—it is, but it’s not. It’s you. Medbay, because that’s where I see you the most, but…you. It’s like you said—difficult to describe. It’s like…being sick, but then being surrounded by all the things that make you feel better.”
Leonard reached around Jim’s shoulder and ran his hand slowly up and down Jim’s arm. He pulled him close. When Jim tilted his head towards Leonard, he said,
“Home. It’s like home, here on the Enterprise.”
As their mouths met in a kiss, Leonard thought about the future. Next time, he'd give Jim what he deserved. Flowers, chocolate—the works and then some. He also thought about reconsidering his opinion on giving lectures.