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The day his old self died, the day his old self got murdered , was the day he swore to himself and to his new life that he would not allow himself to ever be so weak again, so helpless, so vulnerable. He would never allow himself to feel such pain nor such terror.
Never again.
His ability to be a light-hearted, optimistic, and caring person died the moment he set eyes on Felicia’s corpse, eyes open and unseeing, utterly lifeless, staring at the sky, lying around other corpses and rubble. Something within him broke, and the fire in his heart got doused in heartache, extinguishing all but a weak, fragile flicker of a wannabe flame. One that got drowned and suffocated soon after, much like he was, when his last surviving best friend, his family , strangled him, beat him, without an ounce of hesitation, before sealing the deal by plunging him into the roaring waters.
And so, his ability to trust, to care, to love, was drowned and died alongside him. He rose from the dark depths of the cold and unforgiving waters that wanted to become his grave, and amidst the orange-stained skies painted by the fire and smoke, he was reborn.
Silco would not make the same mistakes again. He would show them all how dangerous and unforgiving this new him could be. He would make Vander regret ever killing the old version, and fear what he had a hand in creating. He would not be weak again.
He had made a promise. He had built up his empire on that promise. No weaknesses, no pain.
Of course, the moment he felt a projectile of blue crash against him toppling him off his feet, tiny arms around him clinging to him with a ferocity he hadn’t expected, that promise of his was shattered, not that he knew that at the time. He knew there was no going back the moment he embraced the little girl in his arms as he tried to comfort her as best as he could with his less than minimal knowledge on how to do that. Seeing the pain in her eyes at the loss of her sister, of her family, a pain that mirrored his all those years ago, unearthed some raw, painful emotions he thought were long gone.
Of course Felicia’s kid would be the thing that made him care for someone again. Go figure.
Yet he still clung to that promise of his. He built his growing empire with the blood of those who defied him, becoming unforgiving and merciless as he rose to the top, fighting smart and dirty, making damn sure everyone knew not to mess with him. He, now more than ever, could not afford to show weakness, after all, he had a city to remake and a kid to protect.
He would not allow for the past to repeat itself.
Never again.
Yet, that all crashed down in less than a day. His old promises dissolved into ashes the moment the bridge had exploded, and he hadn't even known it.
Silco had known the moment he heard the explosions that Jinx had gone off and done something that would cost him greatly, along with weeks of setbacks with his already shattering plans. Then again, he wasn’t surprised, just a bone-deep, weary exhaustion for what was to come. It would not be Jinx if she wasn’t off doing whatever she wanted, which always seemed to include explosives, colours, and bodily harm with a body count.
The thing was, Jinx had been getting into trouble for years now, she knew how to handle explosives, she knew how to fight, she could take care of herself. Unfortunately, that knowledge did nothing to stop the creeping, bone-chilling worry that built up within Silco every time he had to go check on the aftermath of Jinx’s destruction.
The worry of his only doubled over, washing over him like a particularly vicious wave that toppled over him when Sevika informed him that the explosion had come from the bridge. Silco, making it his business to always know everything about everyone—he was not known as the Eye of Zaun for nothing— was very well aware that the bridge had been put on lockdown by the enforcers all thanks to the annoyingly optimistic and incompetent idiotically naive new Counsilor.
Silco didn't waste time nor words as he began making his way towards the bridge, knowing Sevika and his men would follow without being told if they knew what was good for them. He was only half aware that he started moving, everything around him went by in a blurred flash, all that he cared about was finding Jinx and seeing she was okay with his own eye.
It was more of a bloodbath than he had expected, and that’s saying something. Silco looked around him, smoke clouds making everything greyer than normal, the sky almost dark. He scanned the crowd of corpses scattered around until he caught a glimpse of bright blue. Silco could see her long blue braids standing out from the darker, muted colours of her surroundings. His eyes widened.
For the second time in his life, he felt like he died again, his world momentarily collapsing and imploding at the sight of her laying still.
“Jinx!” The words escaped from his mouth without conscious thought. Blood was rushing through his ears and the drumming of his heart roared loudly, thumping and reverberating inside his skull as he rushed forward.
This couldn't be happening again. Images of orange skies and lifeless stares bombarded his mind. He had sworn it. Never again.
Not again. He internally pleaded.
His knees hit the ground with an audible noise as he threw himself onto the ground. Reputation to uphold or not, he did not care about it at all as he sank to his knees to cradle Jinx in his arms. She was unmoving, completely still. Jinx didn’t do still, she tinkered, and exploded things, she never stopped moving, this wasn't right.
He thought the worst moment of his life had already long passed. He thought it had been when he let his old self die, drowned in the cold, dark waters, staring at the fire-filled skies surrounded by smoke and the blurred face of his friend— the man who was the reason he knew how it felt to have his lungs burn as they filled with water.
He thought seeing Felicia die and subsequently Vander’s betrayal were the worst things that he could ever live through. He had been so sure that after that, nothing in the future could possibly be as horrifying, and as heart wrenching, but holding Jinx in his arms like this, losing her in the same bridge he lost her mother— his best friend— broke something in him beyond anything he had thought he was capable of breaking.
He felt her breathe, a shallow and pained breath, but a breath nonetheless. She was alive. It didn't do anything to ease any of his worries. Silco knew a dying person when he saw one.
Looking down at Jinx, memories flashed through his mind. This was the girl who had clung onto him at her most vulnerable, placing all of her trust, and her broken heart for him to hold and protect, him , a stranger in her eyes. This was the girl he had raised for years, who made him gifts, and gave him headaches. This was someone he trusted like he had not trusted anyone since them , that he cared for like he hadn't cared for anyone.
This was Felicia’s kid. The reason he had sworn to his best friend that he would build a better Zaun, from blisters and bedrocks if need be, so that she and her daughters wouldn't have to grow up like they did, so that her kids could live, not just survive. He and Vander had sworn it. And Vander had broken his promise, betrayed him at his lowest, and then got Felicia’s oldest killed.
Not him.
He would not fail like Vander did.
No. Because now it was so much more than an old promise to his friend. This wasn't about Felicia’s kids anymore, nor about her. It hadn't been about her for a long time.
Silco gently moved a strand of hair from her face, caressing her cheek.
This was about his daughter.
And he would let the world burn before letting her die.
It was a promise.
It was a threat.
He picked her up bridal style, her head resting against his chest, face turned away and safe from the world. Memories of him carrying her like this when she fell asleep after tinkering for one too many hours were now tainted by tonight, the feel of her dead weight and the blood of her injuries seeping through his arms as he carried her would be burnt into his memory forever. He turned around, glancing at Sevika, before making his way out of the bridge, back in the direction he arrived.
He could hear Sevika bark orders to the rest of his men before falling into step with him. She didn’t say anything, she knew better than that. Simply following his lead, guarding him and Jinx, prepared to fight at the first sign of problems.
Silco was grateful for that, because at the moment all he could focus on was getting his daughter to Singed. He was going to save her, or the world would pay for it.