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O’ Christmas Tree (O’ How I Love You)

Summary:

*The centerpiece of most rooms during the holidays. Not those fake plastic ones that snap their branches after only one year of use. All limp and sorry looking. Smelling a bit like the attic it had been dragged from, scraggly tinsel thrown at it to cover up the ‘well loved’ bits. And dusty ornaments hanging loosely on the ends of the plastic. The star sitting a little limply on top.

Picture a real one. The biggest tree that could fit into the room it was occupying. Green, vibrant with life, smelling of pine just like the forest it had been cut from. Fully decorated with twinkling fairy lights, fluffed up sparkling tinsel draped effortlessly on the strong branches and shiny, sentimental ornaments looped onto the ends of the tree framing the whole scene. A glowing golden star displayed proudly on top.

The plastic tree? Eddie’s vision.
The real tree? Christopher’s vision.*

OR

Christopher is insistent on getting a real Christmas tree this year but Eddie just isn’t sure… He’s not adamant, just… against it. He has his reasons…

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Christmas trees. 

The centerpiece of most rooms during the holidays. A real one of course. Not those fake plastic ones that snap their branches after only one year of use. All limp and sorry looking. Smelling a bit like the attic it had been dragged from, scraggly tinsel thrown at it to cover up the ‘well loved’ bits. And dusty ornaments hanging loosely on the ends of the plastic. The star sitting a little limply on top. 

Picture a real one. 

The biggest tree that could fit into the room it was occupying. Green, vibrant with life, smelling of pine just like the forest it had been cut from. Fully decorated with twinkling fairy lights, fluffed up sparkling tinsel draped effortlessly on the strong branches and shiny, sentimental ornaments looped onto the ends of the tree framing the whole scene. A glowing golden star displayed proudly on top. 

 

The plastic tree? Eddie’s vision. 

The real tree? Christopher’s vision. 

 

Okay, so Eddie didn’t willingingly want the whole limp plastic tree, real trees were beautiful. But their tree was… safe, the norm. Nothing bad ever happened with their usual tree…

But this year Christopher was insistent on having a freshly cut, real tree in the house, for the first time in years. 

 

So here they were still bickering for over half an over about exactly that. 

Dad?!” Christopher whined. “PLEASE?”

“Nope.” Eddie crossed his arms on the couch, putting his foot down. He wasn’t losing this battle anytime soon. At all in fact. “The tree is just fine, it’ll stay up, so that’s good enough for me.”

“Just look at it?!” Christopher huffed, picking a sad looking ‘branch’ off the living room floor and shaking the bedraggled twig at him to prove a point. 

Eddie couldn’t help the laugh escaping him, at Chris waving it around scowling at it. 

“It’ll be okay once I put it all together!” Eddie assured. “Then you can decorate it however you want.”

“It’s just sad, Dad? Let’s just put the poor thing out of it’s misery and put it in the trash?” Chris sighed. “Where it belongs?!” He added with an outraged cry, exaggerating his words.

“Christopher, we don’t need a real tree-“ Eddie tried. Sliding off the couch, Eddie took the part Christopher was still flapping about and a second laying loosely on the ground, fitting them both together. “It’ll work one more year-“

“But you said that last year?!” Chris huffed. 

“No, I’m pretty sure I said maybe we could have a real tree this year. Maybe?”

Chris groaned, chucking himself down on the couch instead. “Which is always a NO.” 

“That’s not true?!” Eddie yelped in protest. 

He crossed his arms, scowling to himself. “Yes it is.” Chris insisted.

“Look it’s just fi-” Eddie trailed off, both watching as the tree slid to the side, breaking where he’d put it together, flopping limply back onto the carpet with a soft thud. “-ne..” He finished. 

“Thank you.” Chris aimed at the tree dramatically. “My point. PROVEN.”

“How about I go get those Christmas cookies you made earlier for you to eat, then I can try and fix this tree?” Eddie offered. 

“Okay.” Chris nodded quickly. Eddie squinted back at him with Chris being quick to answer and not argue back again. Too quick… That was suspicious. 

”Buck’s coming to help decorate later still, isn’t he?” Dropping the real tree argument and acting suspiciously innocent. 

“Yeah, course he is.” Eddie smiled. Maybe he’d finally got through to him? “He wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

Chris nodded, dropping the subject completely and instead riffled through the box of ornaments.

 

Making his way to the kitchen, Eddie took the cookies off the tray they were cooling down on, placing them all on a large plate. “A bit of sugar for bribery never hurt…” He muttered to himself. 

 

Eddie braced his hands on the edge of the countertop, dropping his head in a long sigh. It wasn’t so much that he disliked real Christmas trees. He just didn’t want Chris getting upset if he saw the real deal standing in their front room and it all came rushing back to him that his mother wouldn’t be here for Christmas’ anymore. 

Shannon had always had a real tree back in Texas. Insisted on it, even. She’d send pictures of the two of them together decorating it in all its glory, to him whilst he was deployed overseas in the army. It had been ‘her thing’ of sorts. Those were the memories Christopher had from when he was younger, the good memories that he’d been able to remember about her. 

And the last time they had a real tree in the house was precisely the year Shannon died. The year she’d come back into Christopher’s life to try and fix things and be there for him. But now all Eddie could think of was her whenever he saw a real tree and he couldn’t stick a great big reminder of her last days, in the living room knowing that Chris would be overwhelmed and upset by it. 

Chris might think he wants a real tree looking all bright and beautiful, but what if Eddie got it in the front room and the sight of it, the smells, just upset Chris and only served him as a painful reminder of what he’d lost? His mother. 

Ever since her death, the following Christmas, Eddie had bought a fake tree, at first for convenience. It was the first Christmas without her, Chris maybe still a little too young to understand. And he too was grieving the loss of her not in his and Chris’ lives anymore. A fake one was simple.

And then Christmas’ after that? Well they’d been chaos to say the least, him leaving the 118 one Christmas time for a start, but that was the past and it was just easier to stick up the one that was already there

But right now, he wasn’t worried about himself, he could handle a real tree. He was just concerned about how Christopher would react if they did get one. 

 

Sighing heavily, trying to work out the best solution for the both of them, Eddie grabbed the plate clearing his mind of any doubts. The fake tree just needed a bit of love and it’d be great! Right?

“Here we go!” Eddie announced cheerfully as he strode back into the living with the biggest pile of Christmas cookies. “Get one whilst they’re still warm, they taste even better like that.” 

Chris sighed heavily as Eddie sat down next to him, handing over the whole plate, nibbling on a cookie without a single word. 

“Oh come on, Chris, don’t be like that?” Eddie sighed. 

“I’m not being like anything.” He huffed, finishing off the cookie and starting a second. Eddie was going to regret giving him the whole plate. “The real tree won’t be cursed, Dad.” He added with a sigh. 

“No, it won’t because curses aren’t a thing.” Eddie nodded once, remaining firm on the whole cursed thing. “You’ve been spending too much time with Buck seriously. You two and your jinxes.”

“They so are a thing.” Chris scoffed with an incredulous look on his face. “You’re just too stubborn to believe in them.”

“Stubborn?!” Eddie cried at this attack. “If I’m stubborn then I know where you get your stubbornness from.” He cocked an eyebrow with a playful smile. “Come on, the tree will be fine, let me try and fix it and then we can decorate it just how you planned.” Eddie shrugged. 

Grabbing a few of the branches, Eddie stood in the middle of the living room and attempted to position it into shape. He felt like he was playing a giant game of Jenga right now if he was being completely honest. No worry, he’d fix it soon enough. 

“Just because we have a real tree, Buck isn’t going anywhere you know? He’s not going to die or something if that’s what you’re worried about.” Chris insisted, sighing at Eddie fighting a losing battle with the tree. 

Die?” Eddie squeaked. “Who said anything about anyone dying? Of course Buck isn’t going anywhere?” Abandoning his mission, he looked down at Chris still on the couch, searching his face. 

“Because the tree isn’t cursed.” Chris added with one final triumphant nod. He’d win this battle of curses if it killed him. 

“Say the tree was cursed-“ Eddie played along. He needed to know what Chris was getting at without bickering now. This was important. “What do you mean, Buck’s not going to die?” 

“Well, if you buy a real tree, he’s not going to go anywhere like-“

 

Eddie groaned inwardly at a light knock on the door, Buck walking through anyway. “Only me!” He called cheerfully. 

Seriously, Buck? Eddie thought. Chris was just about to tell him what was on his mind. 

“Buck?! What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be coming round until later are you?” Eddie frowned with a quick glance at his watch to check. He was pretty sure he said this evening. 

“Charming.” Buck scoffed, stepping forward and giving Eddie a quick hug in greeting anyway. 

“I didn’t mean it like that,” Eddie rolled his eyes. “Just you’re early is all. You know we love you here.”

“Oo, Christmas cookies! Now you’re talking.” Buck grinned at Chris still with the plate. Making his way swiftly from Eddie to the couch, he threw himself down next to Chris and helped himself to a cookie. “Well that’s a sorry looking tree.” He added through mouthfuls, cocking his head to the side to inspect it. “Is that the right way up or is that actually upside down…” Buck mused, squinting at it. 

“Not helping, Buck…” Eddie sighed. 

“Don’t worry kid, the cavalry has arrived.” Buck grinned at Chris with a wink. 

“The cavalry? What caval- Oh…” Eddie frowned before it made sense. “Did you text him when I was in the kitchen?” Eddie cocked his eyebrow at Chris, who in turn looked at Buck for help. 

“Erm- maybe?” Christopher winced.

“So that’s why you suddenly agreed with me about keeping this tree earlier. I knew you were being suspicious.” Eddie shook his head fondly, looking across at Buck, still eating, chinking his cookie with Chris’ in a toast. “If Chris has told you I’m being mean or whatever, all I said was this tree is fine?!” 

“Okay, after close inspection and cookies-“ Buck mused. “I agree, Chris, this tree is tragic.” He concurred. 

Tragic?! Is that what you put in your text?!” Eddie groaned. 

“Oh come on, Eddie, look at it?” Buck winced, cocking his head at the tree sagging to the side. “Why won’t you let the poor boy have a real tree for once? Where’s your Christmas spirit?!”

“I have Christmas Spirit?!” Eddie dejected, looking between them both.  

“I needed backup?! To help convince you a real tree is a good idea! You always listen to Buck!” Chris retorted. 

“Backup?! He’s got you wrapped right around his little finger, you know that?” He aimed at Buck. 

“I mean, he’s got a point?” Buck raised an eyebrow, shrugging at the tree. “A big sorry looking, limp point. That tree looks worse than the wall in your bedroom when you…” Smashed it up. Buck trailed off, shutting himself up in front of Chris. Nobody needed a reminder of when Eddie had his breakdown. 

Eddie squinted at Buck, knowing exactly what he was going to say. “No more cookies for you.” He assured with a nod. Shaking his head fondly at Buck, pouting back at Eddie for taking the plate. 

“Hey! I was enjoying those.” He huffed. 

“You eat more than Chris I swear. I thought teenagers were supposed to be the ones that raid the cupboards and the fridge.”

“It’s Christmas!” Buck declared, snatching another cookie from the plate quickly anyway, dodging Eddie trying to smack his hand. “And technically I didn’t raid the cupboards or the fridge, they’re right here on that very plate.”

“God you two are like Bobby and Athena when they start flirting?” Chris cocked an eyebrow at them both, shaking his head.

“We’re not-“ Eddie started, mouth open slightly in protest. 

“Not my fault Mr SCROOGE won’t let poor Tiny Tim here have a real tree for Christmas.” He glared at Eddie, the hint of a playful smile playing at his lips. He didn’t even bat an eyelid at Chris suggesting they were flirting. 

“Argh, the tree is fine!” Eddie cried, spinning around with the plate and marching back towards the kitchen. “I’m going to get more cookies because someone ate them all!” 

“Dad’s still not budging?!” Chris groaned, ignoring Buck laughing to himself at teasing Eddie. “This is a disaster!”

“Don’t worry?! Christmas isn’t ruined or anything.” Buck smiled, handing him the cookie he’d snatched from Eddie. 

“He won’t change his mind if even you can’t convince him.” Chris sighed heavily, dropping his hands down in his lap in defeat. 

“Let me go and see if I can work my magic on him.” Buck grinned. “You just eat that cookie before your Dad decides you’ve had enough sugar for about two years.” He winked. 

 

~*~

 

With a quick glance at Chris nibbling the cookie on the couch, Buck closed the kitchen door behind him gently, turning to face Eddie. 

He didn’t look up or speak, busy occupying himself with taking more cookies out of the oven and decanting them onto another tray. 

“So why won’t you really let Chris have a real tree?” Buck asked softly, serious now. The humor in front of Chris was replaced with a sober look at Eddie. 

“The fake tree is fine…” Eddie sighed, still refusing to look at him. 

“Come on, Eddie, this is me you’re talking to here. You don’t have to pretend with me.”

Eddie pressed the utensil down flat onto the cool countertop, his eyes slipping closed at Buck’s strong hand against his back. That same comforting presence- touch- that Buck always gave him. That things were going to be okay. 

“Talk to me, Eds? What’s the real reason?” He whispered softly.

“Nothing as such.” Eddie sighed, finally looking up and meeting Buck’s intense gaze.

“I know you, Eddie-“ Buck shrugged with a small smile. “And there’s something bothering you and I know it’s not just about the tree being able to be saved- which it definitely can’t by the way-“ He added with a raised eyebrow. “It’s a lost cause.”

“I know, I know it is...” Buck smiled at Eddie’s small laugh at that, turning his shoulders gently so Eddie was facing him.

“So talk to me.” Buck whispered softly in that same comforting tone. “What is it really? I can totally lie and tell Chris it’s because you’re a lazy ass and can’t be bothered to chop a whole tree down if you’re worried about me telling him something.” He grinned, trying to make Eddie smile again. 

“Hey?!” Eddie scoffed, smacking Buck on the arm with a glare, rolling his eyes at the ‘ow’ from Buck. “You’re so dramatic.” Eddie knew it was true though. As much as Buck loved Chris and promised ‘backup’ to convince him to let them have a real tree, he knew Buck would always want him to be happy too and if that meant no real tree, then he’d convince Chris just as much as he was already trying too. Buck always had his back no matter what.

Buck grinned back at him, happy he was still making Eddie smile. “It’s just you and me.” Buck nodded, sober again. “You can always tell me anything.”

Eddie nodded slowly, meeting Buck’s expectant gaze, his hands slowly stroking up and down the tops of his arms now, soothing him. 

“It’s not the whole real tree thing that’s bothering me.” He sighed. “More it being in the house. I’m just worried it’ll be a giant reminder because it’s what he and Shannon used to do every year. She always insisted on a real tree.” He shrugged. “The last time had a real tree was the year she came back, you remember that…”

“And you think because she died that same year Chris will be upset with it?” Buck finished. 

“Well yeah…” Eddie whispered. “He’s so insistent on getting one, I just don’t want him feeling like he can’t tell me things because of Shannon. He’ll pretend he’s okay with it but if he’s getting too overwhelmed by it and didn’t tell me… Well I’d never forgive myself for causing him pain…” 

“Hey, you’ve never intentionally caused him pain.” Buck insisted, dipping his head to make eye contact with Eddie. 

“It feels like it sometimes...” Eddie sighed. “I just don’t know what to do for the best… Tell me what I should do, Buck…” He searched Buck’s face for all the answers, a strong look in his eyes. 

“You’re an amazing Dad, Eddie. Don’t ever doubt yourself on that, I know all you want is for Chris to be happy. But I really think this is what he wants?”

Eddie nodded slowly, still desperately needing the answers from Buck. 

“And Chris seems okay to me? More than. He’s excited about the whole real tree thing. He just wants it to be perfect. He’s a perfectionist just like his Dad.” He smiled softly.

“So you think I’m being stupid and we should just get a real one this year?” Eddie shrugged, his eyes flicking between Buck’s. 

“You’re not being stupid. I don’t think that at all. Far from it.” Buck laughed lightly. “You overthink things is all. But I genuinely think Chris is looking forward to Christmas year. He doesn’t seem reserved to me.”

Eddie nodded again, not saying anything for a second. Of course he trusted Buck’s judgment. Buck was the first person he’d always ask for advice or opinions on anything. He trusted Buck with his life- hell, he trusted Chris’s life in Buck’s hands? But it didn’t stop that niggling doubt in the back of his mind about something not being right with Chris if he willingly let him buy a real tree. 

“I’m just not sure about this, Buck…” 

“I know he’s still a kid, but Chris is strong.” Buck assured. “And resilient. He’ll be okay.”

Taking his hands from Eddie’s shoulder, Buck placed his hand over Eddie’s heart, lifting his chin a little higher with the other, so he’d keep eye contact. 

Eddie was all too aware of two of Buck’s fingers softly pressed against his skin, his eyes flicking between Buck’s.

“He gets his heart from you too.” Buck nodded.

“Are we doing the right thing with him?” Eddie whispered. Before he knew what he was doing, making it so obvious, his gaze flicked down to Buck’s lips as he spoke, his heart racing and speeding up that little bit more. Maybe Buck wouldn’t notice his heart almost exploding out of his chest against the strong pressure of his hand. 

“He’ll be okay…” Buck spoke softly, nodding slowly. “We’ll make sure of it. Together.“

Eddie slowly raised his eyes back up to Buck’s eyes at that, his strong blue gaze staring back at him so fiercely. 

Together

That word had always meant everything to him when it concerned Buck. He genuinely didn’t think he’d get half the good decisions he made right without Buck by his side. Maybe Buck wasn’t raising his own biological child, but he was raising Chris with him just as much as he was. He’d always been there for Chris through anything and he always would be no matter what. Buck would move Heaven and Earth to make sure Chris was happy and safe. 

Over the years Buck had become an equal Dad to him and the way Chris loved him and Buck loving Chris just the same only made Eddie feel even more than he already did for the man in front of him. They both really were in this together and Eddie would never dream of it being any other way. 

Buck’s hand was still pressed against his heart, nodding another slow nod at him. A reassurance that everything was going to be okay. 

“What would I do without you, eh?” Eddie whispered. 

The room around them seemed to shrink when Buck next spoke, the air between them thick with something Eddie couldn’t quite name. 

“You’re never going to have to find out.” Buck smiled softly, his voice barely a whisper. 

Eddie let his gaze drop back to Buck’s lips and he leans in an inch closer, so carefully, waiting for Buck to pull away. But he didn’t.

He felt like he stopped breathing when Buck’s fingers on his chin ghosted lightly against his skin and tipped Eddie’s head a little closer to his own lips, never hesitating. And he’s close, so close, and Eddie’s pretty sure he can’t feel his legs anymore. Can’t feel anything apart from this touch on his skin and Buck’s hitched breathing against the silence of the kitchen on his face.

Buck’s lips were mere millimeters away from his own as he started to close the small gap between them, Eddie letting his eyes slip closed with the anticipation of finally being able to kiss Buck becoming more real than he ever dreamed. 

 

“Dad?! Where are those cookies?!” 

Eddie jumped, opening his eyes at Chris’s calls, Buck dropping his hands back down his sides and taking a small step away, anything they were just about to do and share, gone- evaporated in the air in an instant.

“Err- what did he want- cookies…” Eddie rambled, grabbing the plate off the side. “Take the cookies.” He nodded to himself. 

Buck blinked, swallowing hard at the sudden space between them, shaking his head of what just happened and returning to the present. 

Swinging the kitchen door open, Buck made his way to Chris sitting down next to him on the couch, his head low. 

“I’m sorry, Chris, I tried…” He sighed heavily. “Really tried…”

“But Dad?!” Chris whined, looking up at Eddie close behind Buck, aghast. 

“I tried and he only went and said yes!” Buck grinned. “Guess who’s getting a real tree!” Buck announced in a sing-song voice. 

“Really?!” Chris cried looking up at Eddie hopefully. 

“Go on then.” He nodded, smiling at the biggest grin spreading across Chris’s face. 

“How?!” He shot at Buck. 

“Oh you know me, Chris. My charm for you Diaz boys works every time.” He winked. Chris threw his arms so tightly around Buck’s shoulders, he was pretty sure he couldn’t breathe at one point. 

“Don’t I know it.” Eddie scoffed, offering Chris the plate of cookies. 

“We have to go now?!” Chris announced, diving off the couch and ignoring the cookies. “This is important, we haven’t got time to be sitting around eating Christmas cookies all day. Dad?! Buck?! Let’s go!” He ordered. 

“Wow, rejecting sugary cookies? There’s a first time for everything I guess.” Eddie raised his eyes, watching Chris rushing around grabbing the car keys from the side and throwing Buck’s coat over the back of couch at him. 

“Yes, sir!” Buck saluted, grinning back at Chris.

”And don’t forget your jacket!” Eddie called uselessly. Chris had already shot out the front door and was clambering into the back of Eddie’s truck. 

“I’ve got it.” Buck laughed.

 

~*~

 

As soon as they’d arrived at the Christmas tree farm, Chris had gone whizzing off, rushing through all the trees like a kid in a candy store, shrieking with excitement at almost every tree he laid eyes on.

“Be careful!” Eddie cried. He knew Chris was quite capable at getting around on his own, even faster with his crutches to help, but it didn’t stop him worrying he was going to hurt himself.

“You do know, he’s going to try and buy a 10 foot tree or even bigger, right?” Buck grinned, as Chris shot by in a flash again, disappearing amongst more trees.

“That is NOT happening.” Eddie snorted. They strolled slowly together down one path, through the green maze of trees, keeping an eye on Chris as he darted about, sniffing and feeling almost each and every tree he came across. Letting Chris decide which was the perfect tree. 


Chris was still meandering in and out of the trees half an hour later, still unable to pick one. 

“You’re being very q-word.” Buck stated, casually linking his arm in Eddie’s as they walked. 

“You can say it out here you know?” Eddie smiled softly. “It’s not jinxed here, just in the firehouse, right?”

“Oh so you do believe?!” Buck gasped dramatically. 

No.” Eddie scoffed. “I just know you do, so I don’t want to ‘jinx’ it for you.” He shrugged, earning him another soft smile from Buck at that. “Chris is about as convinced by all these curses as you are.” He added.

“Well, you can never be too sure where you say it.” Buck nodded. “Anyway, stop avoiding the subject, why are you being so q-word on me?”

Eddie looked up at Chris, shuffling by them seemingly getting tired now, in front of them, frowning at a tree before moving on and inspecting the next. 

“He seems okay…” He frowned. 

“You’re still worried about him.” Buck mused. “Just look at him, he doesn’t look like he’s pretending for your sake does he?”

“I guess not…” He sighed. “What was it you said, earlier-“

“My charm always works on you Diaz boys?” Buck grinned. 

“Not that.” Eddie scoffed, grinning back at him. “Although it always does.” He squinted. “I meant about me being an overthinker…”

“He’s okay, Eddie.” Buck promised. “Right now, he’s happy and that’s a good sign for the future too. It doesn’t seem to be affecting him at all yet. We’ve got this. Together, remember?” Buck squeezed his arm in Eddie’s pulling him a little closer. 

Eddie nodded, more sure this time. He repositioned his grip around Buck’s arm as they caught up to Chris, trying to relax. Buck was right, he always was, Chris looked so happy. He just needed to enjoy this moment with both of them.

“What about this one, Chris?” Eddie cocked his head at a vibrant green tree they’d all stopped at, gently tugging at one of the branches. “It smells great, too.” He noted.

“No, the needles are too prickly.” Chris frowned. “I’ll keep stabbing myself trying to put the ornaments on.” 

And off he went to the next tree, just like that.

“Okay, that’s a definite no.” Eddie laughed, following along with Buck on his arm. 

“This one will drop its needles too much.” Chris affirmed at the next one, moving on again. “And I’m not cleaning the floor every five minutes.” He scoffed. 

“This one?” Buck tried, leaning forward and inhaling the strong pine scent at a different tree. 

“Nope.” Chris shook his head. 

“Nah, you’re right.” Buck agreed. 

“Too small.” They both chimed at the same time. 

“It needs to be bigger!” Chris declared, throwing his arms out to exaggerate how big. “And it doesn’t smell like a tree.”

Bigger?!” Eddie cried. “That one’s-“ But Chris had gone again, hurrying off as fast as he could in front of them. So much for looking tired. “Massive.” He finished, cocking his head at it. “That one was perfect?”

“Not according to Chris.” Buck smiled. 

 

After over an hour and a half of declining trees, Eddie was tempted to drag a random tree to the car and be done with it. They were getting nowhere. Aside from Buck ambling along with him, never taking his arm from Eddie’s, he felt like they’d be here for another five hours if Chris had his way. 

Eddie huffed, squinting at Buck. “We’d have had that tree half an hour ago if you didn’t agree with Chris and find something wrong with it.”

“He was right?! It was too small for your living room.” Buck defended. 

The two walked over to a new set of trees and examined them carefully. Not actually sure why because Chris would be able to find something wrong with it. A single crooked branch or a tiny imperfection in the trunk. 

“They’re all so similar here as they were back down there to me?” Eddie frowned, narrowing his eyes at them. 

Buck opened his mouth to speak when Chris squealed from behind a row of trees, shrieking louder than he thought he’d ever cried. 

“What?! What is it?!” Eddie cried, pulling Buck through some trees with him. 

That… is IT!” Chris cried, pointing to a moderately sized tree in front of him. It looked pretty similar to the others to Eddie. 

“It won’t drop its needles?” Eddie asked. 

“And it’s big enough?” Buck added. 

And it smells good!” Chris declared, nodding furiously. 

They all leaned in breathing in the strong pine, scent, before pulling back and nodding. 

“That’s the one.” Buck grinned. 

The tree!” Chris insisted. “It has to be this one, Dad?!” 

“Okay, okay.” Eddie laughed. “This is the one.” He agreed. 

“You stay here with Chris and I’ll go get the salesman guy.” Buck nodded, releasing his arm from around Eddie’s, much to his disappointment. “I’ll be back.” He added with a grin. 

~*~

Dragging one half of the tree through the front door was harder than it seemed. Trying not to damage any branches or Chris would have both their heads, they shuffled backwards and forwards trying to slip it through the front door. 

“We should have picked a smaller one-“ Eddie grunted, following Buck through to the living room with it.

“It’s perfect!” Buck nodded. “I’m sure a big strong firefighter like you can easily pick that up without my help.” He smirked. 

Eddie narrowed his eyes at Buck, standing it up straight in the water dish at the base. 

“Left!” Chris ordered from the couch. 

They did as they were told, shuffling it to the left a little. 

“Now right.” Chris decided. 

Eddie rolled his eyes, shuffling back towards Buck in the exact same position it was before. 

“STOP! That’s perfect.” 

Collapsing onto the couch beside Chris, Eddie sighed, looking at his and Buck’s handiwork. It did look gorgeous, he’d admit that. A lot better than the sorry, limp, plastic tree he’d attempted to resurrect a few hours before. 

“Beautiful.” Buck nodded to it, sitting the other side of Chris.

“Decorating next.” Chris announced. 

“Give me five minutes.” Eddie groaned, grabbing a cookie they’d abandoned earlier and taking a big bite. 

“Five minutes?!” Chris moaned. “Eugh you’re getting old.” 

“I am NOT.” Eddie squinted at him. “We’ve been dragging that backwards and forwards for nearly an hour, I do less in a busy shift at work?!” He declared. “How about I’ll string the lights and tinsel with Buck and you eat the cookies? Then we can all put the ornaments on after.”

“Deal.” Chris nodded, settling down with the plate of cookies. “Off you go, chop chop.”

“Geez, I got less orders in the army.” Eddie grinned, scruffling Chris’s hair, who in turn screwed up his face in disgust, trying to dodge his hand. 

They did just that, with Chris observing and inspecting them both as they went, Buck and Eddie passed the lights to each other from either side of the tree, making sure they were all spread evenly. 

Hooking a long piece of tinsel around Eddie’s neck, Buck grinned back at him as he flicked the rest of it over his neck. 

“Very fetching.” Buck smirked, taking his hand back. 

“I can pull off the tinsel look then?” Eddie grinned. 

“Oh absolutely.” Buck smiled back, his eyes flicking between Eddie’s for maybe a little too long. 

“You were right.” Eddie nodded, glancing at Chris and forcing himself to tear his eyes away Buck’s. Chris was sticking his tongue out as he concentrated on untangling some lights. “He’s happy.”

“I told you he’d be just fine.” Buck smiled softly.

“I’m only here, I can hear you both, you know?” Chris frowned looking up at them both. 

“Oh, right-“ Eddie started, sitting down next to him. Buck busied himself with arranging the tinsel next. 

“I’m not made of glass. I’m not going to break if I see a real tree.” Chris stated randomly. 

“What, I never said that-“ Eddie started, shutting up at Chris raising his eyebrows at him. 

“I’m not a kid anymore, Dad?” He sighed. Eddie opened his mouth to correct that yes, thirteen technically was still a child but Chris carried on anyway. 

“You think I don’t know why you didn’t want a real tree, but I do. You think it’s gonna upset me because Mom always had a real one but it won’t. I wouldn’t have asked you otherwise.”

Eddie opened his mouth, trying to come up with a reply to Chris’s stark words but he carried on anyway. 

“I miss Mom everyday but I think she’d want us to have one. For her. It’s what she’d have wanted for both of us.”

“When did you get so wise, eh?” Eddie pulled Chris to him in a tight hug, resting his chin on his head. “I love you. So much.” He whispered, pressing a hard kiss to his hair. It was true, he really was too wise for his age. 

“Love you too, Dad.” Chris nodded against him. 

Eddie pulled away, holding Chris’s face in his hands, searching his face fiercely. “Promise me, you’ll talk to me if anything’s on your mind that’s upsetting you. Or Buck. You can always talk to him if you really don’t want to talk to me.”

“I do.” Chris nodded. “And I will. I promise. But I’m okay, I promise that too.”

Eddie nodded, satisfied, glancing across at Buck humming a Christmas tune, hanging a few ornaments onto the tree. 

“I bet he’s putting them on all wrong.” Eddie smiled at Chris. 

“It’s okay, I’ll move them when he’s not looking later.” He grinned. “You said you’d help?” He added.

Eddie nodded, letting out a sigh of relief as Chris started helping Buck with the ornaments. They really were all going to be okay and he really believed it in his heart this time. Buck looked so happy as Chris handed him ornaments, pointing to exactly where they had to go and Chris looked relaxed and smiling too, never better. 

 

Placing all the ornaments on the tree together, all three stood back admiring their handiwork. 

“It looks great.” Eddie nodded. 

The tree was the perfect size, no needles being dropped, it smelt amazing and the lights were all twinkling gently, reflecting the metallic gold streaks of the tinsel. 

“Just the star.” Chris added, dragging a small set of step ladders beside the tree.

“Careful-“ Buck started this time, standing behind him and holding him up. Holding onto his waist gently, Chris reached up placing the star delicately on top, finally finishing his masterpiece. 

“Wait, there’s two more ornaments here?” Eddie frowned, picking them up off the coffee table. He’d never seen them before and couldn’t remember them ever being on the tree in previous years. They were small gold and red photo frames, but they didn’t have any pictures in them. 

“Oh I got those earlier when I paid for the tree.” Buck nodded. “I thought you could put a picture of you and Chris in one and then if Chris wants, a picture of Shannon in the other.” 

Eddie looked up at him and Buck thought he was about to cry for a second. “Buck…” He choked out. “This is beautiful. Thank you, he’d love that. We both would.”

Buck shrugged, pulling Eddie to him with his other arm, still holding Chris up with the other. “I’ll always make sure you’re happy too, you know that?”

Eddie nodded slowly, his head dropping to Buck’s arm laced around his waist so easily and how it felt so right. “But how about one with Shannon and the other frame: me, Chris and you?” Eddie shrugged.

“You belong with us too...” Eddie whispered his gaze flicking back down to Buck’s lips again. Now he’d thought about it and the near miss they’d had earlier he’d couldn’t stop thinking about it and what it would really be like to just miss him.

“I’d love that.” Buck breathed, watching Eddie’s eyes grow darker.

Chris shuffled on the step, making Buck look up at him, slowly starting to make his way down with Buck’s help. 

“Oh please.” Chris rolled his eyes, stepping out of the way. “Before I die an old man-“ He started, he shoved Buck forward straight into Eddie so they were flat against each other, Buck’s hand flying around Eddie’s waist to steady himself with a small yelp.

With another exasperated sigh from Chris.

“Just hurry up and kiss already would you?!”