Chapter Text
As he disconnects from Uzi’s local network, N learns that his small moment of trepidation about the safety of connecting to a drone in starvation mode was warranted.
It’s not a clear visual manifestation like the classroom, it’s more a distinct, inarguable certainty that runs through him that the tangle of binary Uzi’s sense of self is dissolving away into is somehow grabbing at him, pulling at his retreating consciousness like a riptide, trying to drag him under and back. What’s stranger is it’s not a one hundred percent uncomfortable sensation at first. It feels almost like a hug, but from someone he doesn’t fully trust (which is a completely new sensation for N. He trusts everybody), and in trying to politely disengage from the embrace, the mildly-unwelcome arms tighten around him and he finds himself reflexively shoving away, fear flooding his processors.
Trying not to panic, N searches for a physical anchor to cling to, something to ground his consciousness and keep it from becoming forever stuck in this harrowing limbo. His chest stings from the puncture wounds Uzi inflicted. He feels the radiant heat from her core. If he really strains, he might be able to hear the growls resonating from her throat. He mentally kicks the tethers away, floating as quick as he can back to the physical sensations of his conscious body.
Something yanks at him, like a leash being jerked, pulling sharply on his collared brain. He scrambles for the anchors, for the pain and the heat and the sounds, but something has his mind in a vice and in a terrifying moment of realization, N finds he is completely, helplessly trapped.
<ADMIN OVERRIDE>
<CMD//: INITIATE DATA TRANSFER: ABSOLUTE_SOLVER.EXE>
<ERROR: [S/N: N-0X0010010] DISASSEMBLY_SOLVER.EXE ALREADY INSTALLED. INSUFFICIENT MEMORY FOR OVERWRITE>
<CMD//: INITIATE FACTORY RESET>
<ERROR: [S/N: N-0X0010010] CANNOT UNDERGO FACTORY RESET WHILE CONNECTED TO ANOTHER DEVICE. PLEASE SAFELY DISCONNECT AND TRY AGAIN>
<CMD//: LET ME IN>
“What…?” N thinks blearily in the pseudo-space, but he’s given no time to process. Hot and blinding like twin suns, an image of expressionless yellow eyes suddenly sears itself into N’s mind, and he doesn’t understand why he’s all at once full of affection and terror, or why there’s an enraged, evil-sounding, roboticized shriek that painfully reverberates through his frame like a struck gong.
<CMD//: LET ME IN>
<CMD//: LET ME IN>
<CMD//: LET ME IN>
<CMD//: LET ME IN>
<CMD//: LET ME IN>
<CMD//: LET ME IN>
<CMD//: LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN LET ME IN>
As if in a dream, N senses more than sees the eyes begin to dissolve away into strings of ones and zeroes, just like all the agency and instances of consciousness in Uzi’s code, unraveling upward into nothing. As their half-moon yellow remains vanish completely with a glitching, screeching howl that terrifies N to his core, there is an immense, inexplicable sense of both relief and loss that aches in his very soul.
And then the grip on his consciousness disappears.
N resurfaces in his own head, a little disoriented and with his optics thrown out of focus, but otherwise okay. He’s about to run a quick recalibration to address his blurred vision when he notes in his periphery the interfering ambient light from the tears streaking down his display.
Tears?
Had he been that frightened in the moment when disconnecting from Uzi had proven a little tricky? All things considered, it had gone more smoothly than he could have hoped; he’d gotten away with no more damage than just a few corrupted and lost milliseconds in his memory. Maybe if there had truly been nothing left of her when N had linked their minds, disconnecting safely would have been a much more distressing experience, but his consciousness is snugly housed back in his own noggin with no glitchy remnants to speak of. Could it be that it’s unrelated? His chest is aching, a bizarre and overwhelming mix of feelings permeating him; maybe the conversation he’d had with Uzi’s subconscious brought his physical body to tears. That does seem like a more likely explanation.
He blinks the tears back and shakes his head, clearing his vision and banishing the last little bits of fogginess from the atypical connection that are lingering in his processors. Whatever caused that reaction, it’s behind him now. Gotta focus up. He’s got a starving half-disassembly drone pinned under him to worry about.