Chapter Text
Stolas wakes up sputtering and coughing, with the distinct feeling that he’s drowning.
The reason why is immediately apparent, as Blitzo is standing over him with an empty cup poised directly above Stolas’s face.
“Did you pour a cup of water on my face?” Stolas asks in disbelief. It’s the first full sentence he’s said to Blitzo in years.
“Uh, yeah?”
“...Why?”
Blitzo is fidgeting nervously, and Stolas can’t help but think that it’s kind of cute.
“Well, you passed out, and I wasn’t sure what else to do, so…”
Stolas sits up with difficulty, trying to ignore the pounding in his head. He should say something clever.
“The water went up my nose,” he says instead.
“Oh. My bad.”
The awkwardness is so palpable, Stolas could almost reach out and touch it. He sighs.
“I didn’t know it was you.”
“What?”
“When I took you home. I had no clue it was you.”
For some reason, this makes Blitzo smile. It’s lopsided and his upper lip basically disappears, but Stolas still thinks it’s radiant.
God, he’s so pathetic.
“Wow, Stolas, I’m actually impressed. I don’t remember you being such a whore.”
Blitzo says the word whore with reverence, like it’s a word worthy of praise. Stolas supposes that, in this case, it is.
Stolas laughs, and it’s a bit awkward, but it’s genuine.
“I wish I could say this was a frequent occurrence, but last night was the first time I’ve ever brought a stranger home,” Stolas cocks his head at an angle as he realizes what he just said, “Except I suppose I fucked that one up, since….since we know each other.”
Blitzo looks shifty again, and Stolas knows he’s on thin ice here and needs to tread lightly.
“I didn’t know it was you either,” Blitzo admits, “But that’s normal for me. Or at least, it used to be, before I got old and lame.”
“Blitzo, you’re only thirty five.”
Blitzo finally puts the glass down on the bedside table and starts looking for something on the floor. His pants, Stolas presumes.
He admits, he does take this time to appreciate Blitzo’s back muscles. He doesn’t know when he’s going to get another chance, and besides, he’s just a man, okay?
“Yeah,” Blitzo is saying as Stolas tunes back in, “But doesn’t working with college students make you feel like you’re fucking elderly?”
“Every day,” Stolas replies, “One time a student told me I ‘look good for someone in their thirties’. What does that even mean? Why can’t someone in their thirties look good?”
Blitzo snorts and pauses his search for his pants. Instead, he looks up, very obviously gives Stolas a once over, and shrugs. “They’re not wrong, though. You do look good.”
Stolas is certain he’s blushing, and it’s definitely not even just his cheeks. He’s pretty sure his shoulders are red too, if that’s even possible.
“D-did you just flirt with me?” he asks.
In the past, he might have let it go and wondered, but he’s too old for games now. Being direct is the only way to get anywhere, and if he remembers anything about Blitzo, it’s that you have to be very clear and obvious in the things you’re saying.
Blitzo shrugs as he resumes his search. “Can’t a guy just give the man he just slept with a super heterosexual compliment?”
“You??? A heterosexual???”
“Are you calling me gay, Stolas?” Blitzo asks in mock horror.
Stolas rolls his eyes. “I’m saying I’ve never met a bisexual who acts as aggressively…well, bisexual- as you.”
Blitzo finally locates his pants and starts shimmying into them. Dear god, it appears that they’re made of leather. Is this man trying to kill him?
“Got me there,” Blitzo admits, “Hand me my shirt, will you?”
Stolas reaches around under the covers for a minute, locating a shirt that is definitely more holes than it is fabric. He tosses it to Blitzo, who catches it and starts putting it on.
“So,” Stolas says, trying to sound chill, “You’re leaving?”
“Well..uh…yeah,” Blitzo admits, “I’ve got a…a thing, you know?”
Stolas’s heart sinks. “Ah, yes. A thing,” he says, and it’s hard to keep the bitterness out of his voice.
Blitzo hefts his jacket onto his shoulders, but he clearly recognizes Stolas’s tone, because his face softens a bit. “Hey, look, we should just…keep this a one night stand. We don’t need to make it bigger than it is.”
He knew this was coming, but it doesn’t stop the way his heart sinks in his chest.
“I don’t know if I can keep pretending I don’t see you in the halls,” Stolas says quietly.
“You don’t have to, I mean, we can be friends, right?”
Stolas looks Blitzo directly in the eyes. “I don’t know,” he says, “Can we?”
The other man stares straight back unflinchingly, and Stolas is about to accept defeat. But then, for a split second, Blitzo’s eyes turn gentle. It’s only a second, and it’s over immediately, but it was there. Stolas is sure of it.
But then he looks away.
“Sure we can. It was just a one night stand.”
“What about-”
“ That, ” Blitzo says heavily, “Was a decade ago. We didn’t work then, and we wouldn’t work now.”
Stolas shakes his head. “You really believe that?”
Blitzo turns and heads for the door. “Yep,” he says, almost breezily, “Thanks for the fun night Stolas. See you around.”
And then he’s gone.
~
“Fuck fuck fuck fuck,” Blitzo chants, hands shaking as he tries to stuff his key into the keyhole. It keeps slipping, and he keeps cursing, because fuck , he needs to be alone right now.
Luck is not on his side.
The key finally turns, and Blitzo allows himself a moment’s relief, but then someone whistles at him.
“Damn, Blitzo, where were you last night?” Loona asks from the kitchen.
Blitzo rolls his eyes. “I’ll tell you where I was if you tell me where you were.”
Loona nods. “Noted. We won’t talk about this again then.” She goes back to eating her cereal while Blitzo heads for the couch, pulling out his phone as he goes. He needs backup.
Immediate Murder Professionals:
Blitzo: Code Hoot
Millie: No FUCKING way
Blitzo: i wouldnt joke about this mills
Millie: oh my god are you boyfriends again?
Blitzo: what??? No. just. Get your ass over here. Bring your nerdy loser husband.
Millie: hey!
Blitzo: what. Is he not a nerdy loser?
Millie: …you don’t have to say it like that, but. We’re on our way.
Blitzo lets out a deep sigh of relief. In the past, he might have tried to deal with this alone, but he’s a changed man. And the man that he is now needs to scream at someone about how confused he is.
Thankfully, Millie and Moxxie don’t live that far away, so it only takes about fifteen minutes before they’re at his door.
“So did you fuck?” Millie asks excitedly as soon as Blitzo opens the door.
Thank god Loona went to her room already.
“Millie. Jesus. Come in first at least.”
His friends follow him to the living room, but before he even gets to sit down, Moxxie speaks up. “So? Did you?”
Blitzo pinches the bridge of his nose. He fucking hates his friends, but he needs to be honest if he’s going to get any help, so-
“Yes,” he admits, and both his friends squeal in unison.
“Don’t get excited, it was an accident.”
He tells them about last night. About how he arrived at the club, how he had a couple of drinks, how he was drunk and confused, how he hooked up with the first guy he saw, and how he realized it was Stolas when he woke up.
M and M are silent in the wake of his story. They share a glance. A nod. And then Moxxie speaks up.
“We call bullshit.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me! There’s something you’re not telling us.”
Blitzo narrows his eyes at Moxxie, who narrows his eyes back. Millie munches happily on chips as the two men have a stare down.
After a couple of minutes, Blitzo finally breaks. This is what he really wanted to say anyway.
“Okay, so, maybe I got to the club stone cold sober. And maybe I saw Stolas immediately. And then maybe I got so drunk I couldn’t think anymore and then went home with him. Is that what you want to hear, you fucking vultures?”
Millie grins widely after his confession.
“Don’t, Millie,” Blitzo says tiredly, but since when do his friends ever listen to him?
“I’ve been waiting for this for years ,” she says.
“It wasn’t-”
“I knew you never got over him!”
Blitzo rolls his eyes. “You didn’t even know me during my Stolas Phase. How would you know?”
“Because she has eyes,” Moxxie says, “But also, I was there, I did know you, and I can say, with one hundred percent certainty, that Millie is right.”
Blitzo groans and throws himself back on to the couch. “What, you think I’ve spent the past ten years pining over a man I was with for six months?”
“Yes,” Both of them answer.
“I fucking hate when you say things at the same time.”
“We know,” they say, at the same time. Those pricks.
“Okay, so what! So what? Let’s pretend I slept with him on purpose, or that I want him back, which I don’t, by the way, so fuck you. Even if all that was true, it’s not like it’s gonna happen.”
“Because….?”
“Because,” Blitzo says, “Stolas doesn’t want me like that anyway. And he shouldn’t. He’s rich and prestigious and shit, and I’d bring him down with all my BS.”
“Right, Stolas doesn’t want you. And you don’t still look at that dumb photo strip of the two of you sometimes.”
“Moxxie, how the FUCK do you know about that, I’m going to castrate you you fucking-”
Moxxie rolls his eyes. “Yeah yeah, I get it, you’re tough, whatever. All I’m saying is….why would you ruin such a clear chance of happiness?”
Blitzo smiles at him crookedly.
“Have you met me?” He asks, “That’s what I do.”
Moxxie is about to retaliate when Blitzo decides he’s officially done with the conversation. “Anyway, grab a controller, I want to kick your virtual ass.”
“But-”
“Mox,” Millie says, putting a hand on his shoulder, “Let’s just play.”
Blitzo shoots Millie a grateful smile as Moxxie grumbles and searches for his favorite controller. His grin fades pretty quickly though, since Millie mouths “ This isn’t over” right after.
“ Fuck you,” he mouths back, and goes to sulk on the couch.
Millie’s wrong. It is over.
Blitzos tries to forget the feeling of Stolas’s arms around him. He shakes his head, trying to chase it away.
It’s over.
It has to be.