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“Fuck, Eddie,” Buck whispers between low, raspy moans. The slow grind of Eddie’s hips against his crotch makes Buck delirious with want.
Buck didn’t plan for this when he originally came over with a six pack of beer in hand.
Buck’s over at Eddie’s to wallow in self-pity over his breakup. He knocks on Eddie’s door to find him pantless on the other side and Old Time Rock and Roll echoing through the house. He was sweaty, hair sticking to him, and breathing like he’d just ran a marathon. He’d been dancing, apparently “expressing pure joy,” something Father Brian had told him to do. Buck’s heart flutters.
“So, you recreated Risky Business?” Buck asks, taking a swig of his drink.
“Well, it sure brought me joy,” Eddie quips back, a smirk on his face.
Fair enough, Buck thought.
Buck didn’t want to talk about his breakup. He didn’t want to think about the fact that he would probably never find love and he might as well die alone with a hoard of dogs. Everyone abandons him and there’s no use trying anymore. He definitely did not want to think about what Tommy said.
“I’m not your last. I’m your first.” What the hell does that even mean?
Buck would never purposely hurt Tommy. He is not the type of person to play with someone’s heart. He’s not Buck 1.0 anymore: he’s done with being casual. It was taking everything in him not to spiral about yet another person leaving him. He’s starting to think maybe he’s just not worth fighting for.
All he wants right now is to get drunk with his best friend. His best friend who Buck can’t help but think looks really handsome with a clean, shaven mustache.
So they sit in silence, drinking.
The sound of his heartbeat in his chest and the grandfather clock ticking fight each other to cover the silence. Sometime between beer one and three, their thighs inch closer to each other. They were already normally touchy, but today Buck thinks there’s something heated in the air. He wants to be around Eddie, he doesn’t care what they do.
It’s funny, really, the simplicity of being around Eddie, the comfort of his presence. They don’t always need to talk, Buck’s just happy to be around him. It’s been that way for years now, the first day they met Eddie crawled his way into Buck’s heart and has laid there ever since.
Eddie understands Buck more than Buck understands himself. Eddie is his rock, the one person that can stop a classic Evan Buckley spiral. He wants him in his life forever.
Buck regrets coming here on an empty stomach. He’s starting to feel the buzz of the alcohol rush to his head. His vision is blurring and his body is feeling warm and fuzzy all over. He’s sure Eddie is feeling it too, because he’s starting to sway in his spot, humming some tune to himself like he’s lost in his own little world. Eddie’s face is flushed red, more than usual, and he has a cheesy grin on his face. He seems happy right now and Buck yearns to see him like this everyday.
Buck places his hand on Eddie’s thigh to snap him back to Earth. Eddie goes still under his hand, his breath hitches. Buck quickly pulls back, instant regret hitting him like a bat. He didn’t mean to startle Eddie. But Eddie jumps back like a feral cat; Buck quickly misses the warm touch of Eddie’s body.
“Sorry,” Buck mumbles.
“No, it’s okay,” Eddie whispers, grabbing Buck’s hand back.
He slowly guides Buck’s hand higher up the length of his thigh, looking up to meet Buck’s eyes. He tracks Eddie’s hand, suddenly aware that he’s just in his briefs and a sheer button up. Buck sucks in a sharp breath, the warmth of Eddie’s body underneath his hands sending a rush of blood to his cock. From the looks of it, Eddie wasn’t doing any better, the growing tightness in his underwear just inches away from Buck’s hand.
This was dangerous. They’re drunk. Buck just got dumped against his own will. This is his best friend in the entire world, if anything happens it could potentially ruin their relationship. Does Eddie even like men? Maybe he’s just reacting this way because of the alcohol. Eddie does not like Buck like that. He’s straight. They need to stop.
Buck just can’t seem to pull himself away though. The electricity coursing through him; the intense hunger. He moves his hand slowly to hover over Eddie’s bulge, looking at him through half-lidded eyes as a way to ask for permission to continue.
“Mhm,” Eddie nods.
Buck starts to palm Eddie through his underwear, relishing in the glorious sounds coming out of his mouth. He thinks that if he wasn’t already buzzed, these sounds alone would give him a high. Eddie always deserves to feel good, and Buck thinks his life’s purpose revolves around making Eddie happy.
The realization hits him like a freight train.
In that moment Buck finally understands Tommy’s words. Tommy’s not his last because Eddie is. Buck never let himself see Eddie as an option, because that was just his best friend. But it makes sense now, the people who he always fights to go home to, Eddie and Chris. After everything they’ve been through; the will, the shooting, and the family they’ve built, why not go for it? Eddie might actually want this too.
That’s all the confirmation Buck needs to grab Eddie’s waist and pull him onto his lap.
Eddie hums delightedly, wrapping his arms around Buck’s neck pressing their foreheads together. They breathe each other in, the smell of the beers lingering. The air in the room is thick; Buck thinks, is this really happening?
Buck’s hands are trembling on Eddie’s waist. The silent conversation between them if they should continue sends a shiver down Buck’s spine. Buck’s looking at Eddie through his eyelashes, flipping his gaze between Eddie’s lips and his dark eyes. As they start to inch closer to each other Buck’s heart races.
A low moan escapes from Eddie as his hands slide to wrap around Buck’s neck softly. Their lips meet softly in the middle, Eddie’s are already open and willing, drawing Buck further into him. He melts; the kiss feels like nothing he could put into words. Eddie’s lips are pillow soft, the smooth shave on his face rubbing against him, and the strong scent of Eddie’s sandalwood aftershave surrounding him. It smells like home to him. As grotesque as it sounds, Buck thinks about wanting to zip Eddie open and crawl inside.
He’d stay there until the end of time.
The kisses grow desperate quickly. Eddie’s lips part and Buck slides his tongue in. They moan into each other’s mouths as Eddie starts rocking his hips into Buck. Eddie rakes his fingers through Buck’s hair, messing up the hairstyle he’d spent the morning bringing together. Everything feels electric, Eddie’s lips feel perfect and Buck doesn’t think he will ever be able to stop.
Much to his chagrin, rationality hits Buck. As far as Buck knows Eddie has never been with a man before. He moves his head to the side to break the kiss and Eddie takes it as a sign to move, peppering kisses down Buck’s neck. “Are you sure we should do this?” Buck can’t help but ask.
“S’Okay. I want you.” Eddie mumbles against Buck’s neck. Eddie starts sucking down on Buck’s sensitive skin, using his teeth to leave multiple love bites. Almost like he’s trying to mark Buck.
Thank god, Buck thinks to himself.
He wants Eddie so bad, he’s become achingly hard. Whatever happens after this they can figure it out later, right now nothing else matters. Buck’s grip on Eddie’s hips is strong, enough to leave bruises. He moves one hand to grab Eddie’s chin, bringing the man back to his lips. This kiss is wet and sloppy, almost animalistic, he can taste the beer and Eddie’s minty chapstick he uses daily.
They’re hungry for each other, teeth clacking against each other. Eddie continues the roll of his hips back and forth, Buck can feel the hard erection at the front of Eddie’s briefs, a dark wet spot starting to form. Buck scrambles to unbutton Eddie’s shirt open, giving him access to Eddie’s collarbone where he sucks down a dark purple bruise.
Eddie fumbles with his own hands, pushing Buck away against the couch so he can pull up his soft green t-shirt exposing his broad chest. Eddie runs his hands all over the large area, a noise escapes from the back of Buck’s throat when Eddie runs over his sensitive nipples.
This prompts Eddie to lean forward, sinking his mouth around the spot, sucking lightly. It feels amazing, Buck’s nipples have always been one of the more sensitive parts of his body, and Eddie’s mouth on them makes him feel dizzy. Buck finishes pulling off his t-shirt, grabbing Eddie’s face again to continue kissing.
Bucks reaches his hand down between them to the waistband of Eddie’s briefs, pulling them down from the front to slide his fingers around his partner’s cock, making Eddie suddenly jolt from the pleasure.
“Is this okay?” Buck mumbles into Eddie’s mouth.
“Yes. Please.” Eddie moans.
Buck’s thumb slides over the slit to spread the pool of precum that has accumulated at the head. He uses the glide from that to start stroking, up and down. He starts slow and the roughness from his calloused hands starts to make Eddie mewl.
Buck has seen Eddie naked before, in the locker room at the firehouse, and also when they lived together in quarantine. As partners at work, he’s seen about every inch of Eddie already. He knows Eddie is big, but this feeling is entirely brand new to Buck. It’s one thing to see Eddie, it’s another to touch Eddie. Buck will take time exploring every inch of Eddie for as long as he can later. Right now, Buck is making Eddie feel good and he desperately wants to continue.
The noises escaping out of Eddie’s mouth as Buck speeds up the pace are nothing short of obscene. Buck wishes he could have a recording of it to play on repeat every minute of his life.
He continues stroking as Eddie works at unbuttoning Buck’s jeans. They’re in an awkward position, causing both of them to let out a giggle. Eddie succeeds, and gives Buck a rush of relief as Eddie is able to wrap his hand around him.
He didn’t realize how achingly hard he was until Eddie touched him. Everything feels so good, the buzz of the alcohol completely worn off by now and Buck still feels like he’s drunk. Why did it take him so long to do this with Eddie?
Buck repositions them, spitting into his hands as he swiftly wraps his large hands around both of their cocks. He forms a languid rhythm stroking both of them together, a mixture of spit and precum guiding, as Eddie arches back.
He can feel them both throbbing in his hands, Eddie must be as close as Buck is to finishing.
“Jesus—fuck.. Keep going. You’re so fucking good.” Eddie rasps out.
The praise makes Buck preen as he pumps faster, twisting up and down. His orgasm slowly builds pressure at the base of his cock. He feels Eddie start to tremble against him.
“I’m gonna fuck.. I’m gonna come.” Eddie whimpers.
“Fuck. Me—me too...”
Eddie lets out a loud moan as he cums, shaking on top of Buck. Buck thinks he looks beautiful, face flushed, mouth falling open as he’s babbling incoherency. Buck’s orgasm follows soon after as well, eyes rolling back with the incredible sensation of release. His vision blurs and his heart races as he rides it out.
Eddie collapses onto Buck’s chest, both of them panting heavy as they try to find more oxygen. It takes a moment for Buck to come back to Earth, in the meantime Eddie gets up and grabs them both a towel to clean off.
“Wow, that was,” Buck rasps. “Holy shit.”
“Yeah.” Eddie softly says, grinning. He looks beautiful.
“I came over here to mope about my breakup and look what happened instead,” Buck laughs.
Eddie makes a face that Buck struggles to read. ”Was that okay?” Eddie asks, hesitantly.
“More than okay, actually. I want this.” Buck says, pressing a soft kiss to Eddie’s lips.
It’s slow and sweet, nothing like the ones from earlier. The kisses from earlier were messy and needy, like they were both starving.
This one is slow like molasses. It makes Buck’s heart twinge; his person was right in front of him the whole time.
Subconsciously, he’s known his feelings for Eddie were something beyond the realm of platonic. The family that they’ve built together—he would do anything for Eddie and Christopher, even if it meant ruining his own life. Chris, who he’s watched grow up since seven years old; from school bake sales, to zoo trips, an unfortunate pier date gone tsunami horror story. And for Eddie, he was never more than a phone call away—even when he took a baseball bat to his own room.
Christopher felt like his own son, although Buck tried to stop himself from feeling like that because he knew he wasn’t Chris’s father. He loved Chris all the same. Two people who Buck has been devoted to since the day he met them.
Eddie pulls away from the kiss to reciprocate Buck’s words. “I want this too. I want everything with you. I don’t want this to be a one time thing.” Eddie says, caressing Buck’s face.
“It definitely won’t be. Tommy, uh, said something to me tonight. I didn’t get it at first, but now I know what he meant.” Buck blushes.
“What did he say?”
“Forget it. I’m never leaving you after this. I love you, Eddie.” Buck says tenderly. His heart aches—being raw like this with Eddie fills his body with a new warmth.
Eddie shakes his head and chuckles. “I love you too. I think I’ve loved you for a long time now, I just didn’t understand what that meant.”
“You should probably move in now. Your loft sucks.” Eddie confesses.
Buck feigns offense for a moment, then breaks out in laughter. Eddie laughs with him, and while it’s funny, they both know that’s exactly what Buck will be doing.
Buck thinks about his loft, memories flashing in front of his eyes. The shallow, cold apartment space: only ever lit up by the sound of Chris’ giggles and the hum of the television playing whatever video game is popular at that time. Buck envisions Eddie waking him up to make sure he doesn’t spend his entire day in bed, or Buck cooking him dinner on frigid winter nights. Buck’s home was never physical, his home is Chris and Eddie.
“I already barely let you cook, but with me living in the house, you will never cook again. We deserve better than that.” Buck jokes.
“You trying to be a housewife, Buckley?” Eddie says, smirking.
“Only with you.” Buck leans up, kisses Eddie again. He doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to stop kissing him.
That night, Buck falls asleep in Eddie’s bed, their bodies intertwined. He dreams of when Christopher comes back home, dreams of the trips and memories they will continue to make as a real family.