Chapter Text
The relief sweeps him away.
It's all-consuming, leaving no room for any other emotions. Eventually, he accepts, he'll have to think about things. He'll have to think about why Jay pretended to be asleep. He'll have to think about getting him caught up, and about telling others Jay is awake. He'll have to deal with his medical needs, which will have changed now that he's awake.
But none of that matters as much as the fact that the worst case scenario, the one he hadn't even wanted to think about for a moment, hasn't come true.
Jay's awake.
Nothing else matters as much as that.
He doesn't cry, but his eyes do water, holding it together at least that much as he scoots over, taking sitting just beside Jay's bedside.
Jay doesn't sit up—a good thing, because he absolutely should not be sitting up—but he does turn his head, tracking Khalid as he moves, watching him plainly. Jay doesn't have much of an expression, but what Khalid can get from him is just exhaustion. Even though he's slept for days, he still somehow looks tired, all the healing his body is doing taking so much out of him.
"Jay," Khalid says. He could just sit there all day, basking in the fact that it's alright, that he's awake, that he didn't throw everything in his life away for a body.
Jay smiles. It's a small, fragile thing, but it's the first smile Khalid's ever seen him make, and it feels so impossibly precious. It just feels like such a relief to know that Jay got a chance to smile again, that what happened to him in Arkham wasn't the end.
It doesn't last. Less than a second in, and Jay's expression falls, the smile gone.
"What's... your name?"
Khalid's heart sinks.
It isn't the worst case scenario. Jay is still alive and awake and talking. But it isn't a happy ending, either. The months they spent together are gone, existing only in Khalid's own head. In the blink of an eye, they've become strangers to one another, and—
"No," Jay croaks immediately, because apparently Khalid's done a terrible job at keeping the feeling of despair from showing on his face. The conversation is the first time Khalid's actually heard his voice, and it's only the devastation of his realization that keeps him from being properly shocked by how Jay sounds. "I... know you."
His speech still sounds strained, but he's already so much more coherent than he was... mostly.
Even if Jay's speaking much more clearly than he ever was before, what he's saying isn't clear at all, and the confusion must show on his face very, very obviously, because Jay makes a frustrated sound, his fingers tangling into the sheets as he balls them into fists, agitation obvious.
"I know—" He has to stop to catch his breath, and Khalid opens his mouth to tell him not to strain himself, that it's alright, but he doesn't get the chance. Jay glares at him with more force than Khalid's ever seen before in his life, and he snaps his mouth shut, giving Jay the time to finish his thought. "I know who you are. I don't... know your name. You didn't... never said it."
The relief comes again, and Khalid immediately feels silly for how quickly he'd assumed the worst. He'd let himself get caught up in worst case scenarios, but the reality is much more mundane: for all the talking Khalid had done about himself in their time together, walking around while narrating what he was doing, he'd always talked firmly in first person. He's sure he would have introduced himself at the very start (surely he must have, right?), but that would have been right after he took Jay, when he was at his absolute lowest point. It wouldn't surprise Khalid to learn that Jay remembered nothing from the first few weeks of his recovery, but he's already stressed Jay out enough with his stupid assumptions, so he shelves the thought for another time.
There's no need to jump to foolish assumptions. They have time.
"My name is Khalid," he says, offering Jay his very best smile. He doesn't even have to try, because seeing Jay there—awake and looking at him and talking—makes it comes to him so easily. "Khalid Nassour. It's nice to get a chance to really meet you, Jay." He stops, second guessing. "Or shou—"
"Jay," he says with absolute conviction. "Jason is... fine. But you've been calling me Jay. So... just." He seems to lose his train of thought, staring at nothing for a moment, and then shakes his head. "Just Jay."
"Jay," Khalid confirms, and they lapse into a short silence as Khalid mentally chews on what he's going to do. There is suddenly a lot he needs to do. Things he needs to say, people he needs to talk to. It seems endless, but he's got enough experience with things to be able to prioritize, to work out what really matters.
"I need to go tell Doctor Thompkins you're awake," he says quietly. "She won't tell anyone else if you don't want her to, but she should know so that she can go over your medical needs with you. Things like pain levels."
Jay smiles again, althoguh it's smaller, and Khalid realizes with a start that it's slightly lopsided. The scarring—branding, although Khalid doesn't want to think about it like that—on his left cheek seems to have done some damage to the muscle, and it doesn't work quite the same way as his (mostly) undamaged right side.
"She knows," Jay says simply, and Khalid starts.
"She— oh, did—" He stops himself again, taking a moment to compose himself, to stop rushing. The urge to just zip along and know everything is a bit too high for him. "She probably figured it out like I did, didn't she?"
Jay nods.
"Don't know... what gave it away. But she said she wouldn't tell. And she... said I was safe."
Jay must have been scared when he first woke up, surrounded by strange voices and strange people. Khalid knows that he told Jay that the Joker was dead at Gordons, but he has no idea if Jay actually remembers it. Really, he has no idea how much he knows about anything, and if Doctor Thompkins already knows he's awake, that seems like the best possible next step.
He doesn't want to overwhelm Jay, but he knows that in Jay's shoes, he would want to know that the Joker was dead first and everything else a very distant second.
Khalid rests his hands on his knees, taking a moment to decide how he wants to broach the subject. Jay seems to realize he's leading into something, because he goes stiff, obviously nervous.
"When we talked about Gordon, I told you some of what happened on... on that day. Do you remember what I said?"
There's a small pause, and then Jay shakes his head, just a little bit.
"I don't... remember being at Gordons. Or maybe... just a little bit. But not really."
That makes it both easier and harder. It's a blank slate, but it's also a lot.
"I... went off to deliver a package," he starts, because if he's guessing right, that's probably the last thing Jay remembers clearly. "Boles called me while I was there, and told me to go straight to work, so I did. He... The Joker took me downstairs, and he showed me that he'd taken a new captive. It was Robin, and he'd been shot, so the Joker had me patch him up as best I could. I knew he wasn't doing well and would need more care, and I..." He feels a pang of guilt that he knows is stupid. Jay isn't going to blame him because Khalid helped Tim and not him. "The Joker said part of his real name, so the moment I finished work I went and... looked into it. Figured out where to go, and who I needed to talk to. I decided that... that I had to get help. That there was no other choice, that we couldn't just... just keep living like we were, always afraid, jumping at shadows. I wanted to tell you, but I didn't want to risk Boles finding you if he was suspicious, so I just... called and left a message, but I don't think you got it."
"He called," Jay says, and Khalid stares at him in confusion, confused as to who he is.
"Boles?"
"The Joker," Jay says, and Khalid tenses. It's stupid, because the Joker's dead, and there's nothing he can do now to harm them, but the idea of it, of him just calling Khalid's apartment, is still enough to make him feel sick. "Right after you left. He called and... left a message. Said he wanted you to come right away. I thought..."
Jay doesn't finish the thought, but he doesn't need to. It's clear enough what he would have feared was going on, just from what he's already said. He'd thought Khalid was being hurt, or if he was lucky, that he was already dead.
"Did you leave... right after you got the message?" Khalid asks, realizing immediately what it means. Jay didn't somehow manage to get to Gordon's in a few hours in his state—he'd spent the whole day crossing the city, forcing himself to keep going when he absolutely should have stopped.
Jay only nods, seeming to sink down more into the pillows. He's so clearly tired that Khalid wants to tell him to sleep, and it's only a desperate need to make sure he knows that keeps him from doing so.
"I met Batman. I got him to... come help me at Arkham. He brought in his allies, and we managed to save Robin."
It feels wrong to talk about them like that, for him to be Robin and not Tim, but it's genuinely hard to Khalid to tell if Jay would even know all of the names. Does he know who Tim is?
Khalid doesn't think he does, or at least not by name.
Jay's still watching him though, his wariness obvious. He expects something bad, and Khalid isn't sure how he's going to take it.
"Things... didn't play out as smoothly as I wanted. Boles went to try and destroy evidence, and was killed by the Joker. One of the doctors is still missing. But..." He has to pause, pulling himself together, before he can manage to continue. "The Joker's dead. He was... killed in Arkham. The public still doesn't know about it."
Jay doesn't meet his eyes. He's looking in Khalid's direction, but he's not really looking at him, suddenly unfocused, or maybe, if Khalid wants to be charitable, lost in thought.
"I knew," Jay says quietly. "People... people have said it around me. I could figure out most of it, but... but not all."
It's probably for the best. It means he's had time to digest, to work through it, and it means his reaction isn't as extreme.
"Who did it?"
Khalid isn't expecting Jay's question, and very nearly misses it. He has to stop, digesting what he's just heard, and only then does he swallow down the lump in his throat, shaking his head.
"I don't... actually know. I wasn't down there when it happened, I only went down after, to... to help Robin, and then later to make sure he was really dead." It seems important to him that Jay know that. That Jay knows, for sure, that there can't be any question about whether or not the Joker's dead.
He can't leave any room for doubt, or he knows it will eat them both alive.
"Who?" Jay asks anyway, his expression intense and focused, and Khalid swallows again, suddenly nervous. It feels like he's walking into a minefield, and saying the wrong thing could have serious consequences for more than just him.
"I don't know," Khalid starts, planning to stick to that, but the force of Jay's glare is enough to make him reconsider. "Both... both Batman and Nightwing were down there." It could have been either. It could have been both, for that matter. But that's the only answer he can possibly offer, and Jay seems to realize that, because he turns his eyes away, chewing over the thought. He probably has a guess as to which it was, and it takes a conscious force of will for Khalid to bite his tongue and not ask what he thinks.
He wants to, but he knows it wouldn't actually be a good thing for Jay.
"People are starting to worry that your condition is worse than they think," he explains. "If you don't, ah, wake up soon, they'll probably start running more tests."
Which Jay isn't going to want, not in the slightest.
"I'll... wake up," Jay says after a moment. His gaze seems less focused, his exhaustion clear, and he seems to sag a bit more into the bed. "Is Alfred... here?"
Khalid genuinely has no idea, but from past experience strongly suspects the answer is yes.
"I can call him," he says. "If he's nearby..."
"Don't tell him," Jay says quickly, and Khalid frowns. He doesn't get it, doesn't understand why Jay would be worried about Khalid saying why he wants Alfred over the phone, but...
Well, he's allowed to have whatever hang-ups he pleases.
"Alright," he says simply. "I'll call him. You just hang tight, alright?"