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Anis frowned deeply at her reflection in the mirror, her sharp Texas Rose eyes scanning her body with a mixture of annoyance and self-doubt. The sunlight streaming through her window did little to brighten her mood. Today, her insecurities felt especially amplified, as if a magnifying glass had been turned inward.
With a sigh, she cupped her breasts, her fingers pressing against the soft fabric of her top. A grimace crossed her face. Too big. Always too big. Finding bras that fit properly was an ordeal that frustrated her to no end. As if that weren’t enough, her gaze drifted lower to the faint curve of her stomach, just a subtle softness, barely noticeable to anyone else. But to Anis, it might as well have been a glaring flaw.
She traced her fingers over her stomach, feeling the small pudge beneath. It wasn’t much, not something that others pointed out, but she knew it was there, and today it was a weight she couldn’t seem to ignore. She sighed heavily, the feelings of inadequacy clouding her thoughts. I need an outside opinion, she decided, pulling her hair into a loose ponytail and squaring her shoulders.
With a purposeful stride, she left her room and headed toward the commander’s office. The long hallways of the base echoed faintly with the sound of her boots as she approached the heavy door. She knocked briefly and pushed it open without waiting for a response. Inside, Commander Ila sat at his desk, surrounded by an organized chaos of documents, datapads, and files. He didn’t look up immediately, but his subtle acknowledgment came in the form of a soft hum.
“Commander,” Anis said, standing just inside the room.
“Hmm?” Ila murmured, his pen gliding over a document. He didn’t glance her way, but Anis had worked with him long enough to know this was his way of multitasking. He heard her. He always did.
She hesitated for a beat before speaking again. “I need your opinion on something. Can you spare a moment?”
This time, Ila paused. He placed the pen down with deliberate care, his piercing gaze finally lifting to meet hers. He leaned back in his chair, his expression unreadable as he gave her his full attention.
“Always,” he said simply. “What’s going on?”
Anis shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her confidence waning now that the moment had arrived. Still, she pressed forward. “I need to know what you think about my body.” The words tumbled out quickly, her tone steady but laced with vulnerability. “I was thinking about getting it changed.”
Ila blinked, clearly caught off guard. He tilted his head slightly, the faintest crease forming between his brows. “That’s… huh,” he muttered, his voice trailing off as he processed her words.
For a long moment, there was only the hum of the base’s ventilation system. Ila’s eyes narrowed slightly, not in disapproval but in thought. He tapped his fingers against the edge of his desk, his mind clearly working through the implications of what she’d said. Could Nikke even change their physical forms? It wasn’t a question he had ever considered seriously before, but now the idea lingered in his mind.
But this wasn’t about the logistics or mechanics of change; it was about Anis. Something was troubling her deeply if she was even entertaining such an idea.
“Come with me,” Ila said finally, rising from his chair with the ease of someone accustomed to authority. He didn’t elaborate further, but there was a firmness in his voice that left no room for argument.
Anis blinked, a flicker of confusion crossing her face. “Where are we going?”
“You asked for my opinion,” he said simply, already moving toward the door. “Let’s talk somewhere less... clinical.”
Without waiting for her reply, Ila gestured for her to follow, his stride purposeful. Anis hesitated only for a moment before falling into step behind him, her heart beating a little faster as the uncertainty of what lay ahead mingled with the faintest hint of curiosity.
Anis followed the Commander with measured steps, her confusion growing with each turn down the hallways. The destination became clear when they stopped in front of his quarters. It wasn’t her first time seeing the inside of his room; she’d been here before, back when the outpost lacked adequate facilities. Ila had opened his private shower to all the Nikke under his command. The other commanders had balked at the idea, calling it reckless, but Ila had simply waved them off, citing pragmatism over formality.
“Morale is everything,” he’d said then, his tone even but firm. “Raptures kill, sure, but a miserable squad can get themselves killed even faster. Happy Nikke fight better. Simple as that.”
It wasn’t just words, either. Every Nikke who worked with Ila knew he cared, even if he hid it behind a mask of practicality. The small gestures mattered—the way he checked on them after missions, the way he listened when they needed to talk, and the way he fought alongside them without hesitation. That care, however subtle, was why Anis trusted him enough to bare her vulnerabilities now.
Inside his room, Ila led her to a large mirror that dominated one wall. The reflection felt different from the one in her own quarters, somehow sharper, less forgiving. She looked at herself, her insecurities louder than ever in the Commander’s quiet presence.
“Why do you want to change your body?” Ila asked, standing behind her, his voice calm and measured.
Anis hesitated, her gaze dropping to the floor before flicking back to her reflection. “Because my tits are huge,” she blurted, her voice tinged with frustration. “It’s such a pain to find a bra or clothes that fit. Nothing feels comfortable.”
“I see,” Ila murmured, his tone neutral but thoughtful.
Anis stiffened as she felt his hands gently brush against her shoulders before moving to her top. Her breath hitched as he pulled it down, exposing the bikini top she wore underneath in place of a proper bra. Her cheeks burned, but she didn’t stop him. She trusted him—this was Ila, after all.
With careful, deliberate movements, he eased the straps of her bikini top down, letting her breasts spill free. His hands, warm and steady, began to massage them gently, his fingers tracing circles over her skin. Her breath caught as he teasingly brushed her sensitive nipples, the sensation sending shivers down her spine. Her eyes fluttered closed, overwhelmed by the mixture of sensation and his unwavering attention.
“I don’t see a problem with these,” he said, his voice low and sincere. “They’re wonderful, and they’re what make you, you, Anis.”
Her cheeks flamed even hotter, and she bit her lip to stifle a groan. “You can’t say that while doing this,” she mumbled, her voice shaky but tinged with a hint of defiance.
“Does it make it any less true?” he countered smoothly, his hands never faltering. “What else is bothering you?”
Anis hesitated, unsure if she should continue. But his hands, his voice, his presence—all of it coaxed the truth out of her. “I feel… pudgy,” she admitted softly. “I think it makes me unattractive.”
Ila hummed thoughtfully, his hands stilling for a moment before resuming their movements, this time slower, more purposeful. “Is that you talking?” he asked. “Or is it you thinking that because you’re comparing yourself to others?”
“That’s…” Her voice faltered. The truth of his words struck a chord, one she wasn’t quite ready to confront.
“You’re beautiful, Anis,” he said firmly, his tone leaving no room for doubt.
She opened her eyes, meeting his gaze in the mirror. “You say that to all the Nikke,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Does that make it any less true?” Ila countered again, his lips quirking into the faintest of smiles. “Besides, I don’t see any other Nikke around right now. Just my Anis.”
The possessiveness in his voice caught her off guard, the words sinking into her like warmth spreading through her chest. She blushed deeply, her composure slipping under the weight of his affection. He wasn’t like this with anyone else—not like this.
“Commander…” she whispered, her voice trembling. For once, she didn’t know what else to say.
Ila’s voice was low, a quiet confession as his gaze lingered on her, soft yet intense. "You think that you're unattractive," he murmured, "but everything about you drives me wild."
Anis felt his presence draw closer, the heat of him brushing against her in a way that sent a shiver through her. Her cheeks flushed, and she struggled to hold his gaze as her heart thudded in her chest.
"Change is something you must want," he told her softly, caringly "And only when it's positive. Don't try to change with negative thoughts…"
Her eyes searched his, vulnerable yet hopeful. "You really like me the way I am?" she asked, her tone almost disbelieving.
He leaned in, his lips so close to her ear that his breath tickled her. "Do you want me to show you?" her whispered.
Anis shivered, her entire body attuned to the weight of his words and the heat radiating between them. A surge of emotion coursed through her, her breath catching as she nodded, barely able to speak. "Yes," she said, the word almost inaudible.
Ila’s hand moved to her chin, tilting her face up to meet his as he closed the space between them. His lips brushed hers, a gentle caress that quickly deepened into something more fervent. Anis melted into him, her hands instinctively clutching his shoulders as the kiss became a silent confession of longing and unspoken desires. The warmth of his touch seeped into her, filling a space within her she hadn’t even realized was empty.
The moment stretched, full of quiet intimacy and shared need. When Ila gently pulled away, their foreheads rested together, both of them breathing heavily.
“I’ve always…” Anis started, but the words caught in her throat. She laughed nervously, her cheeks aflame. “I’ve always wanted this,” she admitted. “You. Just… you.”
Her words seemed to ignite something in him. He guided her onto the bed with a care that felt reverent, as though she were something precious. Once bare, they moved together, his lips trailing soft, lingering kisses along her jaw and down her neck, each touch drawing soft gasps from her. The weight of his affection, his attention, made her feel seen—completely and utterly.
Anis bit her lip, trembling as his hands explored her body with deliberate tenderness. Every gesture felt like a promise, and the intensity of his gaze made her heart race. He treated her like a masterpiece he’d longed to admire up close, and for the first time in a long while, she felt truly beautiful.
Their connection deepened, each moment charged with affection and need, yet never rushed. Ila was gentle, his movements attuned to her reactions, his every touch coaxing soft sighs and quiet murmurs from her lips. He paused to meet her gaze, his eyes searching hers.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
“More than okay,” she replied, her fingers brushing his cheek. Her smile was shaky but radiant. “Please… I need you...”
He penetrated her, holding her close, their breaths mingling as they moved together in perfect rhythm. Anis’s hands gripped his shoulders, her body responding instinctively to him as he drew her further into the moment. She could feel the tension building within her, a crescendo of warmth and desire that threatened to overwhelm her.
“Ila…” she breathed, her voice trembling as she clung to him. “I think I’m…”
His lips brushed her temple, and he murmured, “Together.” His voice carried a quiet promise, a reassurance that left her breathless.
They reached their peak together, a shared moment of unspoken understanding and unity. Anis trembled in his arms, her head resting against his chest as the waves of sensation ebbed and left her wrapped in a cocoon of warmth and contentment. Ila held her close, his arms encircling her as though he never wanted to let her go.
“Ila,” she whispered, her voice soft and filled with emotion.
He brushed a strand of hair from her face, his expression tender. “You’re beautiful, Anis,” he said, his tone earnest. “If you want to change, let it be something you feel you need to change, not something you think you have to. And if you ever feel unattractive again, I’ll always be here to remind you how incredible you are.”
Tears welled in her eyes, but they were tears of gratitude and joy. She nestled closer to him, her head resting in the crook of his neck as his words echoed in her heart. For the first time in what felt like forever, Anis felt whole—not just desired, but loved.