Chapter Text
Her life had become monotonous, if life in the palace of a god can be called that.
Beyond the finery, pristine floors and nameless slaves meandering around the halls and rooms - Mara was left to wander aimlessly day after day. There was nothing of significance in the palace, beyond ridiculous luxury she was entirely unaccustomed to; and quickly she determined this was nothing more than a pleasure home. She truly was nothing more than a war trophy, tucked away with all his other pretty but worthless things.
He rarely visited, which was worse. Doubly worse.
She hated him for all he was worth, all he had done and was still doing. If he was here, he wasn’t out there directing harm. If he was out there, he wasn’t here to put her on edge… But who else could she talk to?
Was that his plan — to get her to long for company hard enough to grovel at his feet for it? She resolved herself to spite him harder, and enjoy the countless baths and meals.
Lucanis was kind enough to teach her to recognise poisoned food and drink, as well as she was able to in the short time they spent together with the topic. Nothing seemed poisoned, from what she was able to tell. She had a harder time with bathing, since she knew with certainty that they added things in to sooth the skin and scent the air. Her clothes and jewellery were difficult to tell, as well, no doubt something on her was enchanted - perhaps there was something to listen in on any conversations she might have, or track her, or something more nefarious.
And the slaves… She had no idea if she should pity them or fear them as spies for her new master.
It was exhausting to keep up with it all in her mind, on top of looking for an escape and practising with her new appendages.
Each night she struggled for sleep, moved around by the damn wings and tail whipping and curling behind her - she would sleep on her side or front, but people move in their sleep, and those things protested to being flattened.
Each morning she awoke more tired than the previous day, the slaves - she shuddered looking at them, unable to help - cleaned her room and set about gathering her clothes for the day - usually dresses with an open back all the way down to her rear. She learned to accept the treatment after a week of getting no response from them when she asked questions or protested them dressing her.
Each day she would be given a task or two to perform before she was allowed to wander freely.
Each night she sat in her room staring at her reflection in the mirror. She regarded her scarred face, marked not with ink or blood, nothing magic might erase with ease - but marked forever as his. Her fingers drew across the curves, and a sigh escaped her as her tail curled around her left leg and her wings curled forward, covering her front.
She ate her meals alone in her room, and loathed the silence as she chewed.
One day she heard the rumbles of Lusacan outside the palace, and saw his shadow pass over the windows.
She opened her window and stepped out onto the balcony, watching him patrol the palace. A low song hummed out of her throat, and Lusacan sailed back towards her, landing like thunder on the palace grounds - amidst countless hills and fields. Burning eyes stared down at her, and wings spread animatedly.
“Hello, Lusacan,” she greeted hesitantly, leaning out on the balustrade as the dragon leaned closer to her until his breath hit her like a hot summer wind. “See anything interesting?… Is it pretty in the sky? Does the wind feel good against your scales?”
Something rumbled in the dragon’s throat hard enough she felt it inside her. As she moved her hand up, she found it made contact with a barrier — no escape, by falling or climbing. She looked down. It would be a long time before she hit the ground.
“Of course,” she sighed.
Lusacan moved down, his great nostrils breathing her scent.
“Yes, it’s still me; the idiot,” she smiled, avoiding his eyes, focusing on his teeth as they poked out of his maw. “I’d actually like to see your fire… Don’t tell Elgar’nan. Dragons were always awesome to me... You must be really old. I’m glad it was the gods that woke you up, and not some darkspawn down there in the dark. I can’t tell if it’s better… But… I hope it is.”
He opened his mouth ever so slightly, enough she caught a whiff of old flesh and blood… And oddly fish. Did he eat fish? Were they near a lake or ocean?
“You poor, beautiful thing…” She breathed. “I hope it doesn’t hurt.”
She was met with no response from the great, ancient beast.
“I hope he’s not listening through you,” she bent over the balustrade, resting her head in her arms. “I’d say I miss home, but I never really had one. Maybe that’s why I’m mad enough to exchange verbal jabs with gods and talk to dragons. Maybe I was just born mad.”
His breath pushed against her hair, whooshing it backwards.
“Even madder still, I like it. Not the thought of what’s happening, my own mess, getting involved with ancient assholes and their pets, getting lots of people hurt… I’m not a very good person, Lusacan. Part of me thinks… Maybe this is my punishment. Forever idling with the briefest of chances to do good, when really all I do is… Ruin everything. I can’t…”
The dragon rumbled, leaning down so she could meet his glowing eyes.
“He can absolutely hear me, can’t he?…” She grumbled. “Your dragon is really neat, you should let him go free. Me, too. Along with all the slaves here.”
She turned, and went back inside, and fell face first into the massive bed.
The following day, she decided to make use of the dining hall for the first time.
Sitting was another difficult thing; her wings made it impossible to lean back, and her tail made it difficult to sit in general. Her angle and position on the chair were optimal for falling on her ass, to put it lightly.
Set before her were candles and meals she couldn’t begin to place the name of - but the aroma of the hall was truly divine. She opted for a third glass of wine before she decided to try and speak to the others standing around the hall.
“Sit and eat with me, please.” She said to any of them.
None of them looked at her, none of them spoke, none of them moved.
She sighed, and held up her empty chalice with a wobbling hand. “More wine.”
A young elven man came to refill it. She touched his arm to stop him from leaving again. He met her eyes, unquestioning.
“Sit beside me, you’ll be closer to refill my glass. You were too slow that far away.”
“… Yes, miss,” he sat on the edge of the chair beside her, holding the wine vase in his lap.
She took another sip, feeling it burn her cheeks. “I can’t eat all this food.”
“… We can bring you something else, if you would prefer.”
“How about… You share my meal with me?” She tried.
“I have to decline, thank you.”
Her lips pouted, before she took a bit of… some kind of meat. Chewing on the sweet thing with a light moan. “Mm… There’s something… I can’t quite place it, could you help me?”
He looked between the plate and her as she pushed it closer to him. With a wary hand, he took a bite of one of the meats.
She smiled as she watched him chew and swallow. “Well?”
“It tastes sweet, perhaps it’s maple? The meat is goose.”
“You sure it’s maple? What about the veggies - do they taste sweet or maybe more spicy? I’m completely overwhelmed with taste, and I’ve ruined my meal with wine. Very nice wine, by the way.”
He just barely smiled at her, before taking the smallest pieces from her plate, indulging her as she began to truly speak with him.
In the days that followed, she managed to get one more to sit with them during meals to ‘help her place the taste’ of things. The rest stood and watched. Little victories she told herself.
She even managed to get the young man to laugh, and obtain his name; Malas, son of Tenebras. He was sweet, soft in his features despite the vallaslin of Elgar’nan spread across his face and body.
Mara missed home, whatever home was.
One evening, with a bottle of wine in hand, and another emptied inside her, she stumbled into her room.
She’d managed to get the the hall laughing at her jokes by the end of her meal - well, some of them giggled, but that counted! They were people, not just mindless servants - and she was celebrating her little victory. She had to celebrate the little victories.
Left alone to silence and a glorious memory of song in her ear, she spun around the room in an inelegant dance - trusting her appendages to push her upright when she tilted too far in one direction. She laughed, and jumped onto the bed, spilling some wine from the open bottle. Red wine. She laughed even harder until it was dry and nasally.
“You don’t even know,” she said to no one in particular. “How things could’ve gone- what if… Ahh…”
She flopped down, and took another mouthful hostage. With a practised folding of her legs beneath her, to accommodate her extra limbs, she found herself sighing for the millionth time that day. “I could just… No…”
She crawled over to set the bottle on the floor, bent over on her hands and knees with the most curious of thoughts entering her mind. “I should… Drink some water.”
She did not look for water, instead she arched further, stretching her limbs deliciously until her bones themselves felt soothed. Kneeling up, she licked her reddened lips and stroked the fabric of her dress. She smiled, and tugged the fabric up so she was able to see her thighs.
“Ah, fuck it,” she fell back, and ignored the protests from her wings as she pulled free her breasts and envisioned some debaucherous scandal in a loud and messy bar… Or the quiet corners of an old library. She moaned as one hand cupped under her breast and the other stroked down her thigh, twisting in to tease at her heated flesh.
Soaked hands, cupped around the curve of her ass, holding her in place at the edge of the pool. “You blush so readily…”
She jolted at the thought, and frowned. “Seriously, me…?”
“Garas lasa, da’len…” His voice hummed in her ear, body bent over hers, as immovable as it was daunting.
She moaned, fingers daring to move between her legs to test the feel when mixed with the memories of him. “Yes, I think so…” What madness filled her, with the thought of his breath against her neck, his voice dripping into her flesh as she wrapped her legs around him.
It wasn’t him, but she still saw him as her head fell back and her eyes closed. With an arch of her hips, her fingers slid between her folds as her body called for him.
“You could be mine,” she whispered with a smile, “if you wanted it.”
You are just as bad as me.
She laughed, and shook her head so slightly. “I’m nothing like you…”
Her finger eased into her molten heat, and she writhed against it, rocking, as the rest of her body flooded with the desire for someone else over her, under her, holding her legs apart as water splashed at the end of that pool. Her mind had turned to him for inspiration this evening… What his voice could do to her, let alone those hands.
“Fuck,” she breathed. “Just-“
She shifted to massage her sensitive bud, desiring nothing more than release by this point - rolling into the rising passion as the air burned around her. “Please,” she sang, “Don’t stop…”
With practised ease, she brought herself to the climax of her pleasure - rocking into it with a longing grasp for more than the emptiness inside her, surrounding her… She whined, allowing her fingers stroke along her folds again, thinking of his eyes, his face, those beautiful robes, whatever lurks beneath them…
And all of it crashed around her; the room was quiet, all that she knew so far from her.
She lay there, and tilted her head to the window, catching sight of another moonless night.
The days continued to blend together.
She tried her best not to think about the mess she left her room in. She offered to clean it herself, but was ushered away to bathe and proceed as normal.
But normal was driving her to madness!
At least she had her friends in the dining hall for meals.
~
The doors to the dining hall opened so loudly when she was sitting with Malas and a woman who refused to give her name. Both of them were on the ground instantly when they noticed who it was who had decided to grace them with his presence.
The room fell to silence as he came inside, each step echoing throughout the hall.
She looked around her, seeing the heads of each person there pressed to the floor. Her eyes found him once more, staring intently between her and her two companions with a controlled rage simmering just below the surface.
Your influence has poisoned this lot. It would seem I have returned to an unruly brood.
Shit.
She promptly stood and stepped away from her seat, going to her knees before him, meeting his eyes before mimicking the others in the hall.
He was yet to burn anything, to her relief.
“Andaran atish’an, Elgar’nan, what an unexpected pleasure to have you return so soon,” she greeted as formally as she could, daring not say another word in front of the others. They would not pay for her mistakes. I was looking for company, not poisoning or escape. They’ve done nothing wrong.
Your influence over what is mine demands explanation. His pace was slow and deliberate, she heard a pause between each step.
I’m treated differently, and it’s not fair. I eat well, sleep in a nice bed, and they look tired, wash the floors with calloused hands, stand around watching me eat and drink.
You exert your authority over them, and disregard mine. And they accepted it. He looked to Malas, who was closer to him.
“We are, of course, grateful for your attention, as well as your expected safe travels,” she said quickly. “And thank you for the kindness you’ve shown in allowing us our failures, and learning from mistakes. We do our best to serve.” I wasn’t disregarding your authority. I was helping your people. Take advantage, take credit for it. Punish me in private, I’ll learn the lesson. Show mercy in public, and they’ll serve you more faithfully. Please.
You test me.
I accept my punishment for it. No mind games, no bullshit. I won’t do this again without you knowing - I didn’t think it was that big a deal. In private, I can explain better. I submit.
He hummed, and finally spoke. “Begone to your other duties.”
They all stood, and began to leave the hall - Rook herself hesitated, making sure the others left first.
“Not you, Rook.”
She waited in silence with her head still bowed.
“I have use of you,” he spoke as he turned away towards the doors, and she followed without protest.
The walk was done so in silence, and she recognised before they even arrived what the destination would be.
Her chambers still had servants tending to it, cleaning and dusting and fixing whatever they could despite her doing her best to keep it in order.
They dropped to the ground like the others when they noticed Elgar’nan enter, and quickly, he dismissed them with a small gesture, leaving himself and her alone as the doors closed with a flinching thud behind them.
He let her stand in painful silence before speaking. “Explain yourself.”
She looked up at him. “You won’t like it.”
“I have not come here to be given no answer.”
She exhaled through her nose, and nodded. “I abhor slavery. I see them everywhere and I don’t like it.”
“I have heard this tune before, little bird. It does not appeal to me.”
“We’ve been over this; I’m no bird, no wolf, no chess piece. I’m me. And you tolerate that- I get it; this is your home, and messing with your people upsets you. But I live here now, I’m one of them. I can’t sit here and pretend to be alright with it all, especially when I’m treated differently than the rest.”
“You request a demotion.” He quirked a brow at her.
“Or you have them treated better.” She gestured, her free hand rested on her hip.
His head tilted ever so slightly. “You believe to know better than I in how to manage one’s people?”
Her breath shook, and she looked to the floor. “I believe you have a disconnect between what you ask of people, and what they are capable of. Especially in this world that’s obviously so different from the one you ruled. I don’t know if you’ve noticed; but things have changed since you last walked Thedas.”
She felt herself fall to to her knees. “I sense intolerable disrespect, da’len.”
“Then punish me, what can I do to stop you?” She glared up at him.
“Break.”
“I’d be so much more useful to you broken than whole.”
He came close, and brought her back up to her feet. “Perhaps, I might like to see you broken, then.”
“You’d miss the banter.”
He laughed bitterly. “Wilful little thing, are you not?”
“I try,” she shrugged, glancing as he walked towards the large window that led out onto the balcony. “And know it’s something you like, not only tolerate - hence why I push my luck. Call it a compliment to your character that I’m such a passive aggressive prick. If you wanted me to shut up, to be obedient - you could have that.”
“I could, certainly. But you… Are a curious conquest. I enjoy you bowing of your own accord, of defying me and begging punishment.”
“You’re a tyrant. I can guess what you enjoy.”
“I am all that I am, da’len. Be grateful I show you so much favour, in spite of your insurrection.”
“And you came back,” she stared at him. “You came back.”
His head tilted, and he looked to the balcony. “… You called to me so longingly.”
She wet her lips, and fixed her eyes on the floor. He couldn’t know… Perhaps because she spoke with Lusacan? “… Or so you believe.”
“Deny me as you wish, you know it to be true.”
“Fine, let’s say it’s true, I’ve folded to your influence — but you’re the one who came when I called. You’re equally as influenced.”
“I come to find you flaunting privilege, and moping over my absence.”
Her lips drew tight together. “I do not mope.”
She caught him glancing at her, looking her over. “I am not incorrect in my statement.”
“I don’t flaunt privilege, either. I’m a hostage; a war trophy, forced to live in the illusion of luxury when I’m isolated from almost all contact, and the moment I find someone other than you to talk to- I need to tiptoe around it because I’m terrified you’ll hurt them.”
“They are only slaves.”
“I was a slave!” She snapped, fists balled at her sides. “I know what it’s like for them - how could you ever know?! God, king, general - command all you like, you will never understand what it’s like to forget you are a person!”
His head tilted as he regarded her, not with animosity or acceptance.
“You don’t care,” she said with a trembling voice. “You didn’t care back then, and you don’t care now. Especially with the Veil up, with your empire in ruin and your people reduced to shadows. Did you learn nothing in all that time? Are you so far up your own ass that you can’t admit you fucked up?”
“Do you wish me to kill you? Provoke me into mistake? Is that why you curse me in this manner?”
“I do not curse you!” She hissed. “I am trying to help you! Help them!”
“By yelling at me, challenging me when all I have done is grant you grace? You are untainted, you are fed well, you sleep in finery, in peace, and I do not punish my slaves for bending to your will over mine.”
She shook her head, so tempted to throw a ball of fire at him. “Let. Me. Go.”
“I decline your request.”
She looked down, and suppressed a growl. Finish your journey, she heard Fen’Harel’s words echo in her mind. “I can’t…”
“I am here, da’len,” his voice was an offering, “willing to indulge you as before.”
“Indulge me further.”
“I see no reason why that would benefit me.”
She met his eyes. “Please.”
He squinted down at her from across the room, and hummed. “You may pray for my benevolence, I cannot say if I might grant it.”
She stepped closer, taking a breath before asking. “Pay them for their service, if you won’t give them their freedom.”
“What use does a slave have for coin?”
“Pay them with more food, then, with things they can own themselves- not owning other people, but…” She shook her head. “I had a cat when I was a child- it wasn’t my cat, it was a stray that came to visit the house, and I fed it until it stopped coming back… Could you start with something small? Let them be people… They’ll love you for it.”
He considered her with a seething energy that radiated under his calm exterior. “… They may have one day and night of rest with each new moon; they may do as they like. They will return to their duties afterwards, or face the consequence.”
That wasn’t good enough… But for now, it had to be. “Is there a catch?”
“On your knees.”
She took a shaky breath, and got to her knees.
“Say ‘ara las mir lath, bellanaris.’”
“Give me your hand, and I’ll say it.”
He held it out, and she took it, leaning up to kiss the back of his palm. “Ara las mir lath, bellanaris, Elgar’nan.”
“You comprehend the words you spoke?”
“Enough.”
He scoffed, and took back his hand. “A good thing it is, then, that I intend to stay the evening.”
She stood slowly. “… Why?”
“You are unaware that these are not your chambers.”
“It’s the place they put me in.”
“But of course,” his golden eyes encouraged her to find the bed.
She looked between him and it in realisation - reddening. “Oh.”
“It is not so trivial a thing to hold power over flesh. I have your word of devotion, given willingly.”
“They think I’m your whore...” She pushed her curled silver hair back from her face.
“Gods have no ‘whores’, Mara,” he told her.
“Are we really going to argue over nicer phrasing? Am I to be some paramour or concubine, then?”
“A guest who happens to sleep in my bed, if you desire the reality of the situation.”
“A guest who can’t leave, and sleeps in a bed you don’t sleep in... I think you’re doing it wrong, Elgy.”
“Is this a request for my company?”
She put her hands on her hips, feeling her tail swish behind her. “I retract the Elgy.”
“The words slipped past your lips already, little thing.”
“They did,” her hands dropped and she groaned quietly. “I’m losing my mind here, Elgar’nan. I want to leave.”
“You are lonesome.”
She nodded.
He moved closer, and stroked her hair.
She looked him over, eyeing the bed once more. How could he know she’d been sprawled out on it mere days ago, granting herself pleasure over the thought of him? She blushed at the memory of it, of the surprise that she would ever be into that.
“I detect a faint question in your eyes, one which you suppress. Be not afraid of judgement here.”
She looked up to meet his gaze.
“Admit freely your wish to bear the power of a god, feel it press against you, within you…”
“You know I don’t think you’re a god.”
“To you I am, little Rook. Do you truly think you can fight me and win? Ar lasa enansal, Mara. Bel’enansal.”
“Are you trying to flirt with me?”
“With a creature so beneath me, no.”
“Ah,” she considered, “I’m no elvhen, not some former spirit, or god. But something inside you really is thinking hard about it.”
“Perhaps it is your own mind expressing to me what it is you want most.”
“You? Aren’t you vain.”
“You know who I am, Rook. What I am - regardless of your beliefs, I am the god from your legends manifest… Are you not tempted?”
“… By the thought, sure,” she admitted. “But reality is a bit different, as I’m sure you’re aware.”
“You must know I am capable of giving you your deepest desires. You are unlike the others; you do not long for power, or fortune, or rank. No… It pleases you most when you give people what they want, and when they know it is you who provides them what they want; be it word or deed.”
“You’re not much different,” she folded her arms. “You just give shitty people what they want, and get all giddy at the thought of them kneeling in thanks. Power begets more power. Has nobody ever told you that you’re enough as you are? Would you even believe them if they did?”
“I would like to see you beneath me.”
“… Okay… In a subjugation way or a sexy way?” Her head tilted.
He head tilted to follow hers. “Both would satisfy me.”
Her mouth opened to speak, but she found no words sufficed for a response.
“What makes you think yourself worthy of my attentions?”
“… We talk,” she answered plainly. “In your mind, I’m so beneath you, in mine, you’re a villain that needs to be stopped. But right now, we’re just two people having a conversation.”
“I could ruin you.”
“I could tear away everything from you if you let me.”
“I do not doubt you believe that.”
She smiled, and glanced away to the bed again. “What makes you think you’re worthy of my attentions?”
“I believe your tongue has slipped from your mind once more.”
She stepped closer, giving his robes a gentle stroke, reaching up to fix the medals on his chest. “My tongue doesn’t slip, my lord. Tell me, what have you done to show me you have a sincere interest? I don’t accept just anyone, after all.”
He laughed venomously. “The audacity!”
She cocked a brow, and looked over the medals and embroidery on his robes curiously. “Do you not like a playful challenge, my lord? How long has it been since someone called you handsome?”
“Oh, Rook… You are not the first to attempt this dance.”
“No dance, there doesn’t need to be a battle, either. As exciting as those sound. I challenge you to prove to me just how worthy you are of me, and this world we share. I will put an effort in, too. If you’d trust that to me.”
He was quiet a moment, enough that she thought she’d messed up.
And then he grabbed her wrist, and spun her around, moving her over to the dresser, knocking over the perfumes and brushes as he bent her over.
She moaned, feeling him tighten her arm behind her back as his other hand gave her tail a sharp tug.
“You, a mere mortal, ask for courting from the first of your gods.”
“I’m not expecting-“ she hissed. “Candlelit dinners and walks on the beach…”
“No,” his hand left her tail, and instead felt along the curve of her back. “A pretty fool you are…”
She breathed hard, caught off guard by him. “Not like this…” She said, unable to look at him.
“Oh?” His voice rumbled, and he stroked along her lower wings with a newfound curiosity.
“No,” she said, kicking back at him. “I’m saying no.”
He released her, and stepped back. “So be it.”
She didn’t move from her placement, heart hammering inside her ribcage. “I don’t… Want that to be the first,” she said as she finally stood back and straightened herself out.
“You are overthinking,” he glanced to the broken bottles on the floor surrounding the dresser, “come, do not bleed your feet.”
She gasped as he picked her up, and she clung to him as he carried her over to the bed, and sat her down. “Thank you,” she said in befuddlement.
“I am fond of you,” he admitted. “Rest. I will remain until something pressing arises elsewhere.”
“I’d like to leave.”
“No doubt you would also like to return to the Vhen’Theneras, and your allies.”
“Just…” She sighed, “I don’t know.”
“You will rest. Come dawn, your mind will clear. And we will proceed with this entertaining arrangement.”