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It was a slow day at Rocque records.
The boys were finally starting to settle down fully to their life of fame and fortune- mostly.
Sure, Gustavo might’ve bailed the boys out of jail two nights ago and sworn on his grandmother’s grave to not tell Ms. Knight. Sure, Kelly had to go over to the crib and kill a giant spider that had the boys in a corner. And sure, they accidentally set off a firework inside the soundbooth.
But they wouldn’t have it any other way.
The boys had the day off, as Griffin was dumping a mountain of bureaucratic garbage in the form of paperwork on Kelly’s desk, and Gustavo had to wrap up the last of the bonus tracks for the next studio album.
She could only imagine what the boys were up to.
But alas, papers sat idle on her desk. Sales numbers, venue forms, and the list of shots the boys needed for their overseas tour.
Dragging the boys to Doc Hollywood’s office was a full day endeavor that involved a metal bat, a cage, and a lot of ice cream.
Kelly shuffles through the boys’ checkup reports, making sure they got the full list of vaccines, but stops and blinks, giving the report a once over.
Doc Hollywood was insane, but it wasn’t like him to make such a simple mistake.
She gathers the checkups in her hands and shuffles into the studio, where Gustavo sat, hands on the keys where they usually sat.
“Hey, did you read over the guys’ medical reports?”
Gustavo stops his playing to take a sip of coffee. “Is it about the bee thing? Because I am NOT bringing the dogs anywhere near a drop of honey unless Carlos has his EpiPen-”
Kelly rolls her eyes. “No, he marked the bee allergy. And the fear of heights for Kendall. And the sleep apnea for James.” She flips the packet to graze over the medical information one more time.
“Doc Hollywood marked Logan’s sex as… female?”
Gustavo jolts a bit.
“What kind of stupid mistake is that?”
Kelly shrugs. “I’ll call him.”
Gustavo whips around and waves her away. “Do that. I can’t have any dumb mistakes interfering with my dogs’ futures.”
Kelly huffs. “Yeah, yeah.”
She’s lounging on the hideous couches Griffin replaced in the studio, tapping away on her phone, before she finally gets a call back.
“Ah, Kelly! To what do I owe the pleasure?” Hollywood’s obnoxious drawl comes through the speaker and Kelly can already feel a tinge of annoyance in the back of her head.
“Yeah, hi, um, I’m reading through the boys’ checkups and you marked Logan as female? So I need to know if you can reprint an updated copy before the Canadian leg of the tour-”
“Logan… Logan… Rush!” He shouts. “Logan Big Time Rush!”
Kelly pinches the bridge of her nose. “Yes, Logan Big Time Rush. Can you fix it?”
She hears some shuffling and what sounds like a car crash and potentially a chicken before getting a response. “Well, Kelly. As a medical professional, I abide by both the hippocratic oath and patient confidentiality-”
“You have never followed either of those things-”
“-and I cannot disclose any more information without Logan’s consent.”
Kelly stares at the wall before her. “...What?”
There’s an uncharacteristic pause of softness in the doctor’s voice, and Kelly can only sit in confusion. “Listen… Logan is an adult now. Barely, but still an adult. And if there are any real concerns with his health, I would have told you. He’s healthy and perfectly ready to go on tour.”
Kelly wants to argue, but she hears another crash on the line and suddenly Doc Hollywood is yowling about nothing and the line goes dead.
Gustavo comes out, coffee in hand, humming. “So, did you get Logan’s chart fixed?”
Kelly lowers the phone from her ear. “I um. Think we need to call the boys.”
-
Logan was not in the mood to go to the studio.
He had already been knee-deep in pre-med homework, and if he wanted to actually get accepted into UCLA, he needed to make an effort. Sure, he loved BTR. He loved his boys, his life. But there was always the nagging feeling in his head that things were going to fall apart at any moment.
Kendall says he’s just paranoid, and he’s probably right. Logan’s been paranoid his whole life.
He gets the text to head over to the studio in the middle of the movie he’s watching with the guys’ (and Camille) in the crib.
“Music emergency?” She asks.
“Something like that. It just says 'Discussion’.” James says.
“Probably another last-minute promo for the tour. Or Gustavo locked himself in the safe again.” Kendall responds, sliding his jacket on.
“We can finish later tonight.” Logan adds, kissing Camille on the cheek and following the boys out.
The ride is boring, Carlos and James are locked in combat over some mobile game they were obsessed with for the week, and Kendall is glued to his phone to see when Jo was done with her shoot.
Logan just stared out the window, watching LA slide by in blurs. It was so much different than Minnesota. Everything here was different from Minnesota. And truthfully, he liked it that way.
They come in like bulls in a china shop, as was expected of them. Carlos breaks a vase for no real reason other than it existed.
“Dogs.” Gustavo shouts, greeting them with Kelly. “We got your checkups back from Doc Hollywood.”
“Is this about the weird spot on my face? Because I TOLD James he was worrying about nothing-” Carlos starts.
Kendall groans. “Carlos, that was barbeque sauce.”
“Oh yeah.”
Gustavo raises a hand. “No, idiots. Doc Hollywood seemed to have made some kind of error on-” he points at Logan “-dimples over here.”
Only a second of confusion lingers before a dark dread graces the boys’ faces.
Kelly looks between the expressions. “Wait… what.. is happening right now?”
“Emergency meeting!” James shouts, dragging the boys into their signature huddle.
Logan feels his stomach plummet into the ground.
‘Well?’ Kendall whispers.
‘Well what?’ He snips back.
‘Maybe you should just tell-’
‘No! I mean- h-how is it even important?’
‘I mean, it’s a little important…’
The whispers fade into nonsensical yammering, and Kelly and Gustavo only exchange looks of bewilderment.
Kelly gives the chart another once over, and pauses on Logan’s name.
Hortense Mitchell. There's a scratch through Hortense, where Doc Hollywood has written in ‘Logan’ next to it. Hell, Kelly doesn’t even register it. People go by nicknames all the time. Brooke Diamond was right, anyway.
She remembers James’ mom, and her insistence on calling him anything but Hortense. Logan’s own mother called him Logan.
An odd chill hits her spine.
“...Isn’t Hortense a girl’s name?”
It breaks up the huddle they had been crowded in for the past few minutes, and the boys look like they had just seen a ghost.
Instinctively, Kendall steps in front of Logan.
“Well, Logan’s a boy, so it’s not like it matters.” Kendall deadpans, arms folded. Carlos and James follow, folding their arms as well.
If there was one thing for sure, it was the irrefutable fact that no matter what, those boys were inseparable.
Gustavo shakes his head. “I’m sorry… am I missing something here?”
The boys turn and look at each other again, before Logan lets out a deep sigh, pushing past Kendall.
“Okay, fine. Fine.” The anxiety in his voice makes Kelly’s heart sink.
"Gustavo. Kelly.” He gestures. “I’m….” It’s like he’s practically choking on the word.
“Trans.”
Gustavo doesn’t budge. “You’re what?”
Kelly smacks him in the arm. “He’s transgender, Gustavo. It means that…” She looks at Logan, a fondness spreading as the puzzle pieces fall into place.
“I was a… girl, I guess.” Logan puts ‘girl’ in air quotes. “I mean, that’s what I was supposed to be. But I’m not.”
"How do you not know what that means?” James asks. “It’s like, 2013 Gustavo.”
“Okay, how about we all just sit down.” Gustavo sighs, taking a seat as the boys and Kelly follow.
"This whole time… we didn’t know that you’re-”
“If you’re going to say that Logan is a girl, we’ll beat you up.” James points an accusatory finger at Gustavo, and Carlos nods, flinging his helmet onto his head while Logan just groans and puts a hand to his forehead.
“So… Ms. Knight and Katie-”
“I mean, obviously they know.” Kendall says. “They’ve known since the 7th grade.”
"Camille?”
Logan blushes a bit. “Kind of hard to date someone for a year and not have it come up.”
“I was the only… not boy on the youth hockey team. It sucked. But the guys, they were the only ones that didn’t treat me any differently. They hit me just as hard as the other boys. And when Ms. Diamond noticed I started cutting my hair and wearing what I wanted to, she started calling me Logan.” He continued.
“You didn’t even pick your name?” Kelly asks.
Logan shrugged. “I don’t mind. I like it. And then I finally got to move away from all that stuff in Minnesota, and my mom finally signed off on Doc Hollywood letting me start testosterone… I didn’t want you two to see me any differently.”
Logan just sighs again. “Look… I’m really sorry about not telling you sooner.”
Kelly frowns. “Oh, honey. You don’t have to apologize to us at all. I’m sorry you didn’t get to tell us on your own terms.”
Kendall gives Gustavo a stony look. “What about you?”
There’s a heavy silence, and Gustavo just gives a little nod of indifference.
“Well, the last time I checked, I have a boyband, not a… boys-and-one-girl-band. Therefore… Logan is part of Big Time Rush, the BOYband, so why wouldn’t he be a boy?”
A slow look of relief begins to spread on the boys’ faces, and Gustavo simply flushes and turns away. “This doesn’t change a single thing. You’re still going to work just as hard as you always have, and I’ll still destroy you if you mess up. Which you will, because that’s all you dogs do.”
There’s not a single tinge of malice behind his words, and all Logan can do is beam in happiness.
"And… we don’t have to tell Griffin. Or anyone. Unless you want to.” Gustavo adds. Logan breaks out into another smile, and holds his arms out. Kelly gets up and drags him into a big hug.
"I’m so proud of you, Logan.” She says. The rest of the boys fall onto them, creating a hug vortex of laughter and yelling.
“Gustavo.” James taunts.
Gustavo crosses his arms.
“No.”
“Then… I guess we’ll just have to hug YOU!” Kendall shouts, and the boys (and Kelly) launch themselves at the man, shouting and laughing.
They fall to the floor, and Logan knows in this moment, he’s home.