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the place where I belong (home)

Summary:

or: the one where Eddie leaves Christopher an accidental voicemail while he’s having a breakdown and somehow it fixes his whole life.

Notes:

hi!

this is a love letter to eddie diaz because i love him and i’m not happy with the way the show has handled this storyline and he deserves better!

very very grateful with the people who helped me beta read this! @Supernerdtual96 @sproldenhearts and @k_wills91 (on twt) <3

hope you enjoy it <3

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Eddie had just finished his shift and was on his way back to a house which hasn’t felt like a home since Christopher packed his bags and left two months ago. After his initial breakdown in Buck’s arms immediately after the door closed behind his parents as they took his only son away, he had felt mostly numb which lasted a couple of weeks, but now he was starting to feel a mix of emotions, none of which were pleasant.

He mostly felt guilt, he knew he was doing something wrong when he started going on dates with Kim, but the situation had caught him completely off guard and he was talking to her before he could even properly think about what he was doing. People often say that grief affects you for a short period of time and then it’s gone for good and you’re over it. Fact is, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Grief stays with you, it never really goes away.  He ended things with her as soon as he talked about it with Buck, that conversation being exactly what he needed to get out of his fantasy and realize what he was doing and the consequences it could have, but it wasn’t enough. 

When Kim showed up at his door with her hair cut and dyed exactly like Shannon’s, he thought he was still dreaming, because there was no way she would do that. When he realized what she was doing, he tried to make her leave, but she doubled down until he broke and couldn’t stop himself. He had so much to say to Shannon, so much pain and resentment he had built up, and he got carried away, the dam broke and by the time he came back to his senses, Chris was behind him, calling Kim mom and shattering his heart in the process. 

After a few sessions with Frank and long talks with Buck, he knew he wasn’t fully responsible for Kim showing up at his house and manipulating him into participating in that weird role-play of hers, but he was wholly responsible for bringing her into their lives in the first place.

The worst part was that Christopher never let him explain any of it, Eddie had been dating a carbon copy of his mom behind his back and trying to replace her, and he wanted more than anything to have the chance to explain to him what really happened, because while it undoubtedly looked bad, he would never do something to hurt his son intentionally. Chris was the most important person in his life, he was his soul and losing him was destroying him, and there was nothing he could do about it because Chris refused to talk to him. He wasn’t answering his calls and all his texts were left on read, and his parents were no help, refusing to help Eddie restore communication with his son. 

Buck had been Eddie’s rock since Chris left, choosing to basically move in with him so he wouldn’t have to be alone. He had tried to say no, that he didn’t need it, hating the thought of being a burden to Buck and making him deal with all of this, on top of the sadness he was already feeling about Chris leaving and refusing to talk to him as well, but Buck insisted, reminding Eddie that he would do the same thing for him.

Buck had a couple of extra hours on his shift that day because he was covering for another firefighter who had gotten a little banged up on a call earlier in the day, so Eddie was going home alone. He didn’t really want to be there; not looking forward to the loneliness, the sadness and the silence that had met him every time he opened his door after Chris left, knowing he wouldn’t be there to greet him after long and difficult shifts, that he couldn’t see him, hug him or hear his voice every time a call hit too close to home, and he had to settle for the pictures his parents were sending him far too infrequently. He got home and since he had already showered at the station, he just changed into a hoodie (Buck’s) and sweatpants and sat on the couch staring at Chris’ contact in his phone, trying to decide if he was capable of dealing with the rejection of another call sent to voicemail that day. 

He was so close to breaking point and he knew the smallest thing could send him over the edge, but he was all for punishing himself right now. He didn’t think he deserved any kind of forgiveness or happiness right now, not even a little break from the pain, so he made the call and waited for the usual two or three rings before Chris rejected his call and sent him directly to voicemail, making it abundantly clear that he didn’t want to speak to him. 

It’s not like it was his first rejection but it was the straw that broke the camel's back, it was the thing that made Eddie’s eyes sting and fill with tears he couldn’t push back anymore, and he allowed himself to cry, knowing that he was alone and no one could hear him. He sobbed and wailed, the pain he had been pushing away and trying to hide becoming too much for him to bear anymore.

He felt so alone and so heartbroken, he didn’t know what to do to make it better, or if he even could make it better. He missed his son so much and there was nothing he could do, he had fucked up and lost him, but was it forever? He had a lot of questions and he was hurt and angry, with himself, mostly, but also a little bit with Chris too, even if it was unfair and he had no right to feel that way. Did Chris actually miss him at all? Was he really okay with never talking to his dad again? Surely the thought of being away from his father hurt him as much as it did Eddie? 

After a while, he started to calm down a little bit, and realized that it had been a long while since he had gotten home and he had cried for at least half an hour. 

Buck would be home in another hour, so he went to his bedroom and laid down, silently staring at the ceiling for a while and falling asleep without meaning to a few minutes later, his long shift and consequent breakdown exhausting him completely and making it impossible for him to stay awake. 

What he never noticed was that his call to Christopher was never properly disconnected and a voicemail was recorded and sent. 

 

 

Christopher was angry and he was hurt, he never thought his dad could be capable of doing something like that, and he didn’t know if he would be able to get over it and forgive him, at least not any time soon.  

He didn’t want to admit it to himself yet, but he missed his dad. His dry sense of humor, his sarcasm and his silly side, but also his warmth and his hugs, and he missed being listened to and being independent, something that his grandparents didn’t allow him to be at all. He had known that it was hard for Eddie to see him grow up and accept he wasn’t a kid anymore, but he had accepted it and little by little he gave Chris more liberty and independence. They talked about things and made compromises, and they had a great relationship that a lot people wished they had with their parents, which is why Chris was struggling so much with what happened, in his teenage brain it didn’t make any sense for them to have such a good relationship and for his dad to throw it away like it didn’t mean anything, and it hurt.

He knew there was probably a good explanation for why it happened, but he wanted to hold on to his anger a little longer, he wanted to make his dad hurt like he was hurting, because it was only fair, but it had been two months and he had seen how his grandparents became more and more set on him staying permanently, making plans for his next school year and building a pool for him, but he didn’t want that, this was never supposed to be permanent.

He hadn’t answered any of his dad’s calls or replied to his texts and it hurt to ignore him, but he knew he would give in soon. He wanted his dad back, even though he was mad, he didn’t want to lose him and he didn’t want to stay away from him forever. Maybe if they started having conversations and took things slow, he could be ready to go home soon.

Buck was a huge part of what he missed as well, he missed him nearly as much as he missed his dad, and ignoring his calls and texts was hard, and he knew he was hurting him and that Buck wasn’t responsible for anything that happened, but he also knew Buck was probably glued to his dad, and he didn’t want him to pass any information to Eddie. He knew Buck would lie to Eddie for him, but he didn’t want that either, so he stayed away from both of them. 

One afternoon after spending the morning running some errands with his grandmother, he was in his room playing on his computer when his phone rang, he checked and saw that it was his dad, again, and he really thought about answering this time, but he decided he would text him later, not fully ready to talk to him over the phone yet, so he sent the call to voicemail and kept playing. 

An hour later, he saw that his dad had left a voicemail, something that hadn’t happened before. He hesitated for a moment, before deciding to listen to it, thinking his dad maybe had something important to say, but the only thing he could hear were muffled sobs that just went on and on for two minutes. He didn’t know how to feel, was his dad really that upset about his silence? How badly had Chris hurt him by leaving and how much more was he hurting him by ignoring him? He knew his dad didn’t blame him and he would never hold this against him, but he didn’t want to keep hurting his dad.

For the first time since this whole situation started, he thought about how he felt when he saw that woman hugging his dad in their living room; all the pain, the confusion, the short lived hope and the grief that hit him as well. If he had felt all of that, Eddie must’ve been feeling it too, Shannon was his mom, but she was also his dad’s wife and he loved her. It didn’t excuse what his dad did, not even by a long shot, but it helped him realize that there has to be more to the story, an explanation, and he would never get it if he didn’t talk to his dad. 

He tried to call him back, but the phone rang and rang and he never picked up, which was worrying, Chris knew his dad would never ignore one of his calls, so he texted Buck, who was probably on his way home by now.

______________________________________________

Buck was just getting into his jeep at the station and getting ready to make his way home when he got Chris’ text, the first one since he left two months ago. 

 

Chris 🦖

buck are u with dad?? 

 

Buck 🐝

Chris!!! Hi!! 

Not right now buddy, why? Is everything okay?

 

he called me like an hour ago

i didn’t answer but he left a voicemail

i listened to it but it was just him sobbing ?? 

and now he’s not answering 

 

Okay Chris, I’ll be home in 15 minutes. I’ll let you know as soon as I have eyes on him, okay? 

Are you okay, kid? 

idk 

but thank you. let me know if he’s okay

and tell him he can call me, i’ll answer this time

🙄 

 

The conversation had left him feeling unsettled and very worried, what could’ve driven Eddie to call Chris and leave him a voicemail sobbing? Was Eddie okay? He remembered Chris calling him all those years ago, screaming to his dad to open his door and he remembered finding Eddie crying his eyes out, sitting on the floor with his room completely destroyed and his hands started shaking.

He had probably broken half a dozen traffic laws on his way home, but he made it in 10 minutes. 

He ran inside without even stopping to check if his car was properly closed. He started looking for Eddie everywhere, starting with the living room, then the bathroom, Chris’ room and finally Eddie’s bedroom, where he found him sound asleep, with tear tracks still marked on his cheeks not looking like he was having particularly good dreams. He looked sad, exhausted and drained even in his sleep, which broke his heart. 

He pulled his phone out to text Chris again.

 

Buck 🐝

He’s sleeping, bud. He probably didn’t hear his phone. He looks very tired, so I’m gonna let him sleep for a while, okay?

I’ll tell him to call you as soon as he wakes up. 

Just remember that he loves you very much, okay?

I love you very much too.

 

Chris  🦖

thank u buck

love u too 

take care of dad

 

 

Eddie woke up feeling like he was a hundred years old. His eyes hurt and he could tell they were puffy and red, his body hurt everywhere as well and he felt exhausted and completely heartbroken, he had never felt like this before and he didn’t know what to do. 

He looked for his phone to check the hour, but it wasn’t near him, he probably had left it in the living room earlier, so he got up to look for it, he should probably get himself a glass of water anyway. 

When he entered the living room he saw a recently showered Buck deep in thought sitting on the couch, he looked worried and a little sad. Had something happened on his shift? 

“Buck?” Eddie said softly, not wanting to startle him, Buck immediately looked at him, concerned blue eyes staring directly at his.

“Eddie, hey.” Buck said with a small smile, the worry never leaving his face.

“Is everything okay?” Eddie hesitantly asked. He didn’t think he could deal with anything else going wrong right now.

“Uhm, I’m not sure. Can we talk for a bit?” Buck gestured to the space next to him on the couch.

“Sure.” Eddie sat down and got himself settled in sideways, so he could look at Buck while they talked. “What’s up?”

“Chris texted me. Said you called him and he didn’t answer, but you left him a voicemail of you crying? He tried to call you back, but you didn’t answer so he was worried and texted me.” Buck explained, his heart breaking at the sadness on his best friend’s face. 

“Oh,” Eddie sighed and hid his face in his hands. “The voicemail was an accident, I would never do that on purpose. He shouldn’t be worried about me right now, I don’t deserve that.” He said, his voice muffled by his hands. He felt Buck’s hand on his back, a steady stream of comfort and support, like it always had been. 

“He told me he wanted you to call him when you woke up, and that he would pick up this time. He wants to talk to you, Eddie, he loves you and I’m sure he misses you just as much as you miss him.” Buck said reassuringly. 

“I’ll call him in a bit, thank you Buck.” he said, trying to smile at Buck, but failing. “What do I even tell him? I was crying because I miss him so much and he doesn’t want to talk to me and I know it was my own fault, but he left and I’m hurt by that, but he doesn’t deserve to feel guilty about needing space and telling me what he needs.” 

“Eddie, this is a really complicated situation, it’s okay if you’re hurt and angry. Whatever you’re both feeling it’s valid and you should have an honest conversation about it, all of it.” Buck said softly, unsure about how to make Eddie understand. He had made a mistake, but this situation happened because Eddie and Chris didn’t talk at all, and he was sure there were a lot of misunderstandings on both sides. 

“I’ll try, I want him home more than anything, but for that to happen, he has to be willing to talk and be honest with me.” Eddie hesitated for a second. “And I have to be honest with him too.” 

“Then do it.” Buck said, squeezing his shoulder. 

Eddie nodded resolutely, picked up his phone and went to his bedroom again. 

 

Dad 👨🏻

Hey Chris.

Can we FaceTime? We have a lot to talk about, and I want to see you.

It’s okay if you don’t want to. 

 

Chris 🧡

it’s okay dad

 

So Eddie picked up his laptop and started the FaceTime call, his whole body was shaking and he felt nervous, but he needed this. They needed this. 

Chris picked up, he was on his laptop as well, it looked like he was in his room and Eddie appreciated the privacy, he didn’t need his parents listening in on this or trying to stop them from talking, like he knew they had been since they left with his son.

“Hey buddy.” Eddie greeted him hesitantly. 

“Hi, dad,” Chris said with a barely noticeable smile, and a lot of concern on his face. “Are you okay?” 

“This will only work if we’re honest with each other, so I’m going to be honest with you, and you’re going to be truthful with me too, okay?” 

“Okay.” Chris accepted, with a little bit of hesitation, but very determined. He missed his dad and he just wanted everything to be okay again. 

“I don’t think I’m okay. I have been seeing Frank and doing a lot of work to get better for myself, and for you, too, to be the dad you deserve. But therapy is hard, and I’ve discovered a lot about myself that makes a lot of sense, but it’s also destroying everything I thought I was.” Eddie said, not looking at Chris. “And I miss you. I understand why you left and I would never blame you for it, but it hurt a lot. And I’m still trying to deal with the fact that you’re not here and you don’t want to talk to me, even though I deserve it.”

Chris thought about his response for a couple of minutes and just stared at his dad. He looked tired, but not in the way someone looks when they didn’t sleep well, he looked exhausted, like the world was on his shoulders and he was about to break because of the weight of it. He also looked sad, and hurt and even a little bit angry, but Chris knew it was mostly at himself, not at him. 

“Why did you do it?” Chris asked, finally. He had been wondering why since the moment it happened, and they wouldn’t be able to move on until they talked about it.

Eddie didn’t need Chris to be more specific, he knew what he was asking about. 

“Chris, I loved your mom so much, she was my best friend for a long time, but we weren’t good together, you know? As friends? We were so good, but as a couple? We were a mess, and we both destroyed our marriage, but we loved each other.” Eddie felt his eyes starting to fill with tears. “When I saw Kim, my mind just stopped working. I guess my brain convinced me that this was our chance to make it right. You have to understand that as shocking as it was for you to see her, it was the same for me, but Chris, we never kissed, or did anything more than hang out, I can promise you that. I ended things with her a week before you saw her. That day I didn’t invite her in, she showed up looking just like Shannon and I told her to leave, but she kept insisting and it was too much for me, I didn’t know how to stop her. She told me to pretend she was your mom and tell her everything I didn’t get to say to her, so that’s why I was hugging her when you came in.” Eddie was crying a little bit more at this point and Chris was looking at him with something that looked like understanding, even if he still looked a little hesitant and upset. He had a few tears in his eyes too. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t let you explain sooner, dad. It still wasn’t okay, but I get why it was so hard for you to stop.” Chris said without looking at him. “I’m sorry I called them and left you.” 

“Chris, you have nothing to apologize for. I hurt you and you needed space. This is not your fault, okay?” Eddie said with determination, Chris had the same guilt complex he had, and he was not going to let him take on the blame for this. 

“Okay, dad. I still should’ve let you explain what happened sooner, though.” Chris said, stubborn, not willing to let his dad blame only himself for this. 

“Maybe, but we’re talking now and I trust we will be okay, with time.” Eddie said with a small, but very real smile. 

“Yeah, we always are.” Chris smiled too. “Can I ask you something?”

“Anything, Chris,” Eddie said without a trace of hesitation.

“You said Frank had helped you realize some things about yourself, what things? You don’t have to tell me anything you’re not ready to share, though.” Chris didn’t want his dad to feel like he had to force himself to say or do things to earn his forgiveness, the truth was, he was already forgiven. 

“Well, I realized a lot of things, but there are two things I feel like I’m ready to share with you right now. The first one, is the reason why I’ve never managed to make my relationships work with anyone, and discovering this was really difficult for me. I had to unravel years of repression and denial, but after a lot of work I realized I’m gay.” Eddie’s hands were shaking and his voice wasn’t as steady as he would’ve liked it to be, but he was proud of himself for getting there. 

“That actually makes so much sense,” Chris said with a teasing smile on his face. “Thank you for telling me, dad. I’m proud of you.” 

“Thank you Chris.” Eddie’s smile got bigger. 

“What was the second thing?” Chris asked, but he looked like he already knew. 

“Well, I also discovered that I’m in love with someone,” Eddie hesitated a little at this, not sure about how Chris would take this part. 

“Oh yeah, who?” Chris looked like he was enjoying himself.

“You already know, don’t you?” Eddie asked, a little more relaxed.

“I’ve always known, dad. I was just waiting for you to figure it out, too.” He laughed. 

“And you’re okay with it?” Eddie was still scared, yesterday his son wasn’t even talking to him and today everything seemed fine, they were talking and laughing, almost like nothing had happened.

“Of course I am. We have been a family for years now, and I know you wouldn’t hurt him and he wouldn’t hurt you. And Buck would never leave us” Chris said with more confidence and conviction than even Eddie had. 

“I don’t know if I’m ready to tell him, but I will work on it, okay?” Eddie promised.

“That’s okay, dad.” Chris got that teasing look on his face again. “But don’t take too long, do it before another ugly old guy tries to take him away from you again.” 

“I won’t.” Eddie could only laugh, happy his sassy teenager was willing to joke and talk to him again. 

“Can I come home, dad?” Chris asked hopefully. 

“Of course you can come home, Chris. Whenever you want!” Eddie said reassuringly, and beyond excited, this was all he ever wanted. 

“The day after tomorrow? Just so I have time to pack.” Chris asked, still a little hesitant, but very obviously happy. 

“I’ll set everything up, okay?” Eddie said with the biggest smile on his face. 

“Okay, I love you dad.” 

“I love you too, Chris. More than anything.” Eddie said, both of them teary eyed, but filled with happiness. 

“Goodnight. See you soon!” 

“See you soon, bud.” Eddie said and waited for Chris to hang up the call. 

Eddie was feeling so many emotions at that moment and he just wanted to tell Buck, so he went back to the living room and there he was, sitting on the couch and looking like an anxious mess. He had probably sat there waiting for the outcome of the call since the moment Eddie closed his bedroom door. Buck looked up expectantly at Eddie when he entered the room. 

“He’s coming home.” Eddie started crying again, overwhelmed with happiness and relief, he was not going to lose his son. 

“Oh, Eddie.” Buck immediately wrapped his arms around his shoulders and one of his hands was on his hair, his fingers running through the strands and the other one was soothingly rubbing his back, just silently letting him cry, and release all his fear and sadness. 

He wasn’t sure how long he spent crying in Buck’s arms, but after a while he managed to calm down after taking a few deep breaths. Buck just hugged him silently, letting him take his time and not making even the slightest effort to move away and Eddie had never felt as safe as he did in Buck’s arms, he felt at home, Buck felt like home, but he couldn’t think about that right now. 

After a few more minutes they separated, but immediately sat together on the couch, bodies pressed together from their shoulders to their thighs, the same way they always sat, no matter if they were at home, at the station or anywhere else. 

“So, he’s coming home?” Buck questioned after a while, smiling bigger than Eddie had seen him smile in a while. Eddie knew how much Buck missed Christopher too, even though he had tried to hide it, probably to avoid causing Eddie more sadness and guilt.

“He is. He said he was sorry for not letting me explain what happened sooner and then he wanted to come home” Eddie mentioned with a soft smile, “I know this doesn’t mean I’m completely forgiven, I have to work to earn his trust back and we should probably have a few therapy sessions together, but he will be here with me while we work on it and that’s more than enough for me, you know?” Eddie felt himself become emotional again. 

“I’m really happy for you, Eddie, and for him, too. You both have gone through so much and you deserve to heal and to be happy.” Buck was getting emotional too, “and I’m not gonna lie, I’ve missed him like crazy too. I know I’m not his dad, but I love him so much, and sometimes it kinda feels like I am.” he had stopped looking at Eddie, scared of his reaction.

Eddie put his hand on Buck’s shoulder, his thumb pressing on his collarbone, like he always does when he wants to get something through his head. 

“Buck, you have been there for him for longer than even his mom was, he trusts you, he goes to you when he’s mad at me and he loves you so much as well. You might not be his biological father, but you kinda are his dad, too.” Eddie expressed, with nothing but love and fondness in his eyes. 

“Eddie… what?” Buck’s eyes are wide and full of shock, like he didn’t think this would ever be real, no matter how badly he wished it was. 

“Buck, you are his dad.” Eddie reassured him, his hand still on his shoulder, pressing more firmly, without hurting him.

“God,” Buck sighed with relief, “Eddie, you’re giving me all I’ve ever wanted, you know that?”

“Of course I do. He’s ours, and you have him, forever. And you have me too. You’re never going to be alone again, okay?” Buck couldn’t stop the tears this time, sniffling softly. Eddie was tearing up again and they wrapped their arms around each other, offering comfort and warmth, finally feeling okay after months of pain and sadness. 

__________________________________________

Eddie made all the necessary arrangements for Chris to come back home. It caused a huge fight with his parents which resulted in him cutting them off. He was tired of them questioning his parenting decisions, his love and commitment to Chris, and every single thing he did. He was starting to accept that he deserved better than that. He was sad about it, but he was proud of himself too. 

Chris would be flying alone, because he wanted to, so Helena and Ramon dropped him off at the airport and Eddie would be there to pick him up when his plane landed in LA.

The day Chris was coming back, he was a nervous wreck the whole morning. He was nervous, excited and full of anxiety, but he couldn’t wait to have his son back in his arms, he had missed him so much. 

Buck had decided to let Eddie pick Chris up on his own to give them some space to talk and get over the awkwardness, but he would be home when they got back from the airport with a table full of food and pastries, he had been stress-baking all week. 

At noon, Eddie parked his car at the airport and went to wait for Chris at his gate. His hands were shaking and excitement was starting to fill his body, his baby was so close to be back home with him, after two months of distance and so much pain. 

“DAD!” Eddie heard Chris scream with a lot of excitement on his voice and he saw him walk towards him as fast as he could with his crutches, Eddie ran to him too and when they reached each other, they immediately hugged each other as tight as they could, Eddie dropping kisses on Chris’ hair and getting it wet with his happy tears, Chris felt them, but didn’t protest because he was wetting Eddie’s shirt with his tears too. 

“Oh Chris, I missed you so much. I love you. I’m never letting you go again, I hope you know that.” They were still hugging each other, Chris was a teenager and he normally didn’t want long hugs or kisses anymore, and under normal circumstances he would be fighting to get away from Eddie’s ‘embarrassing’ behavior, but this time he was happy, he had missed his dad a lot too. 

“I missed you too. Love you, dad” They finally separated, Eddie taking all of Chris’ things and guiding them back through the airport and to his truck. 

When they were both ready to go, the car filled with a lot less awkwardness than they both thought there would be, they left the airport and made their way back home.

“Buck is waiting for us back at home, he’s so excited to see you!” Eddie said with a huge smile, feeling happier than he had felt in a while, Chris was home, and they were going back to their house, where the most important person in the world to them was waiting with lots of food and baked goods, it made him feel like his life was finally getting back on track. He knew they still had a lot of things to work on, but it was okay, he was ready to do it. 

“Did he stress-cook all the food you had in the fridge?” Chris teasingly asked, like the sassy teenager he was.

“Almost. He also baked enough cookies and pastries to feed a country” They both laughed together at that. 

They spent the rest of the ride home in comfortable silence, enjoying each other’s company and not feeling the need to say anything to break the silence, they would have time to talk and discuss what had happened later, probably in a therapist’s couch. 

When they arrived home, Eddie let Chris get out of the car on his own and got all the suitcases and bags out of the backseat, and then followed Chris inside, where they were met with a very excited, but visibly anxious Buck, who didn’t wait a second to take Chris into his arms and give him the biggest hug ever, even lifting him off the ground for a second, taking advantage of every single second the teenager allowed him to hold him. 

“Buck, put me down!” Chris said, trying to sound firm, but he was excited and laughing too. 

“Okay, okay! I missed you so much, bud” Buck said, pressing one last kiss on Chris’ head, just like Eddie had done at the airport and squeezing him one last time.

“I missed you both too, but God, you’re so embarrassing!” Chris rolled his eyes, still smiling big, though.

“Shut up, you love us” Buck teased back.

“Sometimes I wonder why” Chris laughed again and made his way to his room, he needed a shower and to change his clothes. 

Eddie and Buck were left in the living room, huge smiles on their faces and feeling happier than ever. 

They turned to look at each other and something shifted, for both of them. Eddie already knew he was in love with Buck, and Buck knew he was in love with Eddie, but in that moment, they realized the other loved them too and the moment felt right, like it was their time now. 

They slowly got closer, their eyes never leaving each other’s and so much love in their gazes. 

They both thought that kissing for the first time would make them feel like fireworks exploded inside their bodies, but when their lips finally met, it felt like coming home, it felt right. 

They kissed for a long time, just enjoying that moment they had been waiting for. When their lips separated, they stayed close, their foreheads touching and their eyes still closed, just breathing and letting themselves settle. 

“I love you.” Eddie said, nothing but warmth and love in his eyes “I think I always have”. 

“I love you. More than anything, and I can’t wait for us to form our family. Chris, you and me, forever.” They kissed again, softly, just letting each other feel the love they felt for each other. 

Eddie had always wanted to be loved, to feel safe, and to have a family that loved him for who he was, and maybe it had taken a while, but he had made that family for himself, and he was never letting it go, not again.

Notes:

thank you so much for reading this! i hope you loved it as much as i loved writing it <3

find me on twt and bluesky as @pausmulti ! i’m happy to talk about all things buddie and 9-1-1 <3