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Leaning back in his chair, he glanced at the cluttered coffee table beside him. A half-full glass sat next to a whiskey bottle, along with his favorite knife, its blade gleaming in the dim light of his quarters after he had sharpened it just minutes earlier. On his lap, the PADD displayed the latest casualty report he had read numerous times. So many crewmen were severely injured or fighting for their lives in Sickbay.
He groaned as he tried to move but was met with pain that still crept through his body.The medication he received only numbed the pain, including the headache that made him sensitive to light. Therefore, the dimmed light in his quarters, intended to conserve power, felt comforting and soothing, so he slouched deeper into his chair. After a few moments, he made the mistake of looking up, and his body ached instantly. Groaning again softly, he watched the shadows the nebula cast on the ceiling. He let out a quiet sigh; the light shining through the windows behind him seemed to fade. Like even the light was too weak to escape. With the ship's Main Power gone, the Titan was on its way to share this fate.
The Titan's journey was coming to an end. He had been the Captain of this sturdy ship for five years, and she had never disappointed him. Furthermore, his crew was among the best he had ever worked with. This time, however, it felt futile. He desperately searched for a solution: Determined to find a way to restore power and get the warp core back online, he screened over the damage reports and schematics. Unfortunately, his mind felt numb from the pain medication, making it increasingly difficult for him to think clearly. He felt helpless and powerless; for once, he couldn't help his crew. Their fate seemed already sealed, and all that remained was to await the inevitable. Waiting was something he hated the most, especially since the Dominion War.
It was only a matter of hours before they were all dead. There was only the question of whether life support systems would fail before the gravity well crushed the Titan.
Clenching his teeth, he looked again at the table knife he had handled only minutes ago. The repetitive act of sharpening his knives had always brought him peace, and it almost succeeded this time. Almost.
Sadly, at the exact moment he had felt somewhat at peace, there had been a chime at the door, startling him out of his calm, almost meditative state. Commander Hansen had paid him a surprise visit. He still heard her words echoing in his head. They had a Changeling on board. A Changeling. He hadn't had to worry about them for over twenty years, not since the war. Not since they had a relatively fast and easy way to determine if someone was an imposter. A method which, as he now knew, gave them a false sense of security.
He felt contentment, as his XO had asked him for advice on exposing the Changeling. After all, he was one of the few people on this ship who had battled them up close and personal. For a brief moment, he felt needed again.
After she had finally left, he couldn't shake the feeling that his past was returning to haunt him: not just Wolf 359 and his issues with Picard but now the Dominion War.
He took a deep breath and sighed as one thought crept back into his mind: None of this would matter anymore in a few hours.
Reaching for the half-full glass on the table, he paused for a moment, breathed in, savoring the scent, and downed the drink in one gulp. The familiar, numbing sensation of the burning alcohol quickly ran down his throat. He leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. After a few moments, he only heard the steady, slowing rhythm of his own breathing. The exhaustion was taking over, and he was on the verge of being overwhelmed by his weariness. He felt almost relaxed as his circling thoughts slowed down eventually.
His relief only lasted for a few moments as he gasped in surprise as a sudden sharp pain pierced his mind like a knife that started in his leg and spread throughout his body like wildfire.
His entire body tensed, and he cried out as another wave of excruciating pain washed over him. With a trembling hand, he reached for the hypospray. It took several attempts to grasp it firmly, each movement sending jolts of agony through his body. He felt a pressure in his chest and struggled to catch his breath. Sweat beaded on his forehead as he fought a seemingly futile battle against the agony threatening to paralyze him. With his mind clouded by pain, he could vaguely remember Dr. Ohk's warning about these sudden pain spikes during the healing process.
Tightening his grip around the hypospray, he sank back into the chair, feeling exhausted. His hand trembled as he aimed the hypospray at his neck. When he heard the familiar hiss and felt a slight sting, he shut his eyes in relief. The anticipation calmed him even before the pain medication took effect. Within seconds, he began to feel the effects of mixing alcohol with pain meds; his strength vanished, and his arm dropped, causing the hypospray to slip from his hand. Dizziness washed over him, and everything started to spin. Moments later, everything went black, and it felt like he was falling.
***
A chime at the door broke the silence. He awoke suddenly, feeling disoriented. As he looked up at the ceiling in frustration, breathing heavily, the menacing shadows created by the nebula immediately made him remember. Dizziness overcame him; his head was throbbing, and he sighed in defeat. It wasn't the first time he'd experienced the effects of combining alcohol with heavy painkillers.
As the second chime rang, he cried out in fury. Who was this? He hoped it wasn't Commander Hansen for her own good. He had already told her everything he knew.
He groaned in irritation as another chime reached his ears. "God damn it," he muttered angrily under his breath, struggling to his feet. He was determined to make whoever was at the other side of that door regret showing up. Every crew member knew the outcome of getting on his wrong side, and he had no intention to get soft now.
His body grew tense as he hopped toward the door and clenched his fists. He was too enraged to notice the dizziness and headache were slowly fading as his blood started to circulate again. The brace around his leg to support his injured leg and knee made it difficult for him to move, let alone to walk, but he was too angry to take the time to grab his walking stick. He punched the button to open the door and took a deep breath, ready to rip whoever was on the other side into pieces.
He was left speechless when the door opened, causing his words to stick in his throat. He was not prepared for what he saw.
"What?" he murmured in disbelief, his voice barely a whisper as he stared in shock at the sight before him. His mind was still foggy, making it difficult to concentrate. Yet, a voice in his mind warned him, reminding him of the Changeling onboard.
"Now that's a warm and friendly welcome," she said mockingly.
He stood frozen, dumbfounded, but then a smirk crossed his face as he felt relieved. No Changeling would ever expect someone to speak to him in such a manner and live to tell the tale. That was definitely her, and he had to admit he was glad to see her.
"What's so funny?" she asked, still standing outside the door, a hint of anger in her voice as she noticed his smile. She was tired and not in the mood to argue with him. Suddenly, she questioned why she had even come here.
As he saw her reaction, his grin turned into a smile, and he replied, "You..."
But he was cut off mid-sentence as he suddenly felt dizzy, causing him to lose his balance. Closing his eyes, he instinctively took a step back.
When she saw him stagger back, her anger dissipated as quickly as it had arisen. Without thinking, she wrapped her arms around him. She knew it was a futile gesture, merely a reflex. Still, she leaned her face against his chest and immediately felt the smooth fabric of his undershirt. Seeing him so vulnerable reminded her of the devastation she felt when she heard Riker's voice in the shipwide call instead of his. But slowly, the familiar scent and warmth of his body calmed her racing mind.
The dizziness only lasted a second, and he quickly regained his senses. He hugged her tight and murmured, "I'm all right," pressing his mouth to her hair, savoring her scent. "Don't worry."
"Back in Sickbay, they told me you had already been released," she said, looking back up at him, still concerned.
Seeing her worried face, he insisted, his voice surprisingly firm and unintentionally slipping back into his commanding tone: "I'm fine." Yet, the frustration in his voice was unmistakable. "It's just my leg that's bothering me, and the painkillers hit me harder than I expected." He forced a smile as he stroked her cheek.
Suddenly, he felt a wave of guilt as he realized he had never left her a message - not even a hint of what had happened to him. The fact that she was probably better off being occupied with work wasn't an excuse. He was falling back into his old habits, making the same terrible mistakes again.
Trying to distract himself from his disturbing thoughts, he purred: "You were looking for me?" Holding her face in both hands, he smiled and made her look at him. Then he remembered and furrowed his brow in concern as he asked, "Was there another reason? Was there?"
From one moment to the next, he was serious again. Main Engineering had been hit hard in the last attack, causing main power to fail. According to reports, there were no casualties in Engineering; only a few were injured. But other parts of the ship weren't so lucky.
He noticed her frown and asked, with an insistent voice and a serious look on his face: "Was there another reason?"
The way he gazed at her made her suddenly feel uncomfortable. She closed her eyes, bit her lip, and said, "I just have a few scratches, and I feel shaky. That's all."
"Is it?" he asked, looking at her intently, raising his eyebrows questioningly. He didn't want to frighten or upset her. Still, because of the casualty reports, he knew that the attacks had left many of the crew with serious injuries or worse. As he gently stroked her cheek, she opened her eyes and anxiously looked at him.
Feeling his gaze, she felt startled. She was reminded of a time in Engineering when, after a double shift, she made a small mistake. She could still hear his words, which felt like piercing through her body and soul, almost bringing her to tears. She remembered how she had had trouble breathing, frozen like a deer in the headlights.
The memory hit her so suddenly that her heart began to race, and her breathing quickened.
"I just wanted to make sure," he murmured. Sensing her rising agitation, he smiled at her. He caressed her cheek to help her relax and soon noticed her breathing slow again. His hands moved to her hips as he led her further into the room, the doors to the hallway hissing closed behind them. He took only a few cautious steps and led her closer to the seating area, doing his best to move without that damn walking stick.
When he made them both stop again and looked down at her into her sad, weary eyes, the shy smile she responded with caused warmth to spread through his body, and his dreadful thoughts were drowned out instantly. As she nodded, he leaned down to kiss her gently, savoring the taste of her soft lips as he pulled her closer.
Soon, he felt her relax and her hands on his back. He kissed her more passionately, letting his tongue explore her mouth. She whispered his name, and he tensed for a moment. He was still not used to hearing her say his name. He liked that sound. More than that, it sent a peculiar sensation rushing through him.
He turned both of them 180 degrees to face the window and gently pushed her back. When she bumped into the footrest behind her, she startled and instinctively pulled back, glancing questioningly over her shoulder. When she turned back to him, he smiled at her playfully. "Sorry," he grinned. He let go of her, allowing her to turn and guided her around the obstacle.
She had only taken one cautious step when she suddenly stopped, staring at the chairs and the coffee table.
Caught off guard, he almost bumped into her. Noticing her gazing around the room, he asked worriedly, "What's wrong?" He swallowed hard, dreading her answer.
The alcohol, the medications, the room almost dark. She had seen this before. Her body tensed suddenly. "I shouldn't be here," she whispered, gazing at the cramped table and the nebula outside the window.
Hearing her words was like a stab to the heart. A pain that was way too familiar. Pressing his lips together, he looked at her silently.
Still staring outside, she whispered, "You want to be alone."
The feeling he had suppressed for so long suddenly resurfaced. Glancing down, he noticed his hand shaking. He quickly balled it into a fist, and the trembling ceased. Closing his eyes, he took a deep breath. Shaking his head, he broke the silence and asked surprisingly softly, "Look at me."
As she continued to stare outside the window, he gently grabbed her chin and made her look at him, feeling no resistance.
"If I didn't want you here, I would've told you so. I'm pretty good at getting people off my back. You know that," he said with a forced smile.
Positioning himself behind her, he held her in a tight embrace and pressed himself against her. He instantly felt her relax a little, and as he eagerly nuzzled at her neck, she started to squirm. When he heard her low whimper, he smiled devilishly.
"I can show you something I can't do alone," he purred.
She felt his hot lips at her neck slowly wandering down, causing goosebumps and shivers down her spine. When she suddenly feared losing her balance, she grabbed his hands, which pressed her tightly against him.
Feeling her lean into his embrace, he turned them both around and moved back until he felt the chair touch his lower thighs. Then, without warning, he let himself fall backward, pulling her with him. Her surprised cry was followed by a rumbling laugh from his throat. It turned into a growl as he felt a surge of pain as her whole weight landed on his injured leg. The pain sent another jolt through his body, arousing him even more.
"What are you doing?" she breathed as his embrace tightened.
"Making us both comfortable," he groaned while still nibbling at her neck. His other hand wandered down between her legs. Grabbing her thighs one by one, he spread her legs. "In case you worry, I can assure you I'm still fully functional," he groaned.
Every time he touched her, while his fingers moved slowly toward her center, she squirmed. The sensations of his hands sliding over her, his tight embrace, and his tongue and lips nuzzling her neck, his beard scratching her skin almost overwhelmed her. "Liam," she whispered desperately as she felt the bulge grow under his pants.
"See? I told you," she heard him laugh behind her. The sound ended in a low rumble, and his hot breath caressed the skin of her neck.
His free hand began to work on her pants, slipping inside as soon as he had the chance. He let out a moan as he felt her warm wetness through her panties. Noticing her wriggle even more as his palm rubbed against her, he gritted his teeth as her quivering body pressing against him fueled his desire.
Her breathing became ragged fast as he kept on grinding his hand against her, only the thin cotton between his skillful hand and her ready cunt.
"Liam, please. I can't..." she breathed between heavy breaths.
Her eyes closed tight, and she let herself fall back into his embrace as her strength faded. With her head leaning back against his shoulder, she panted even harder.
Soon, he could feel her close to the edge, desperately trying to arch her back. A moment later, he had her tight as a jolt went through her body. She came hard, gasping for air, and he continued to caress her, whispering words of affection in her ear until her ragged movements subsided.
When her breathing slowed, he purred, smiling devilishly: "That was fast." His mouth was so close to her skin that his hot breath left goosebumps. He traced his hot tongue along her ear down to her earlobe, teasing it with his teeth, causing a shiver to go through her body. He had gotten her off way sooner than he had intended to. The slightest touch of his fingertips, his hot tongue, and his lips made her gasp and squirm. Relaxing his grip on her, he lifted her off his lap with one hand and attempted to pull down her pants.
"Wait," she whispered. "Wait, please..."
He released her immediately as her plea cut through his desire-clouded mind. Swallowing hard, he watched as she slid off his lap. Had he moved too quickly? Too brisky? His mind raced as he eyed her.
She took a few hesitant steps and eventually turned around to face him.
Scanning his face, she noticed the same uncertainty and vulnerability in his eyes she had seen during their first night. She smiled at him to reassure him. Her smile started out shy, but it turned genuine as she unzipped her uniform jacket and let it fall to the floor. She watched him closely as she removed her clothes, piece by piece.
Taking a deep, shaky breath, he swallowed hard and smiled knowingly. He wriggled uneasily in the chair as she slid her pants down. Desire started to glow in his eyes again. Licking and biting his lip, he caressed her now naked legs with his hungry eyes. He fumbled with his pants and shorts, pushing them down with trembling hands until blocked by the brace around his leg. When his painfully aroused cock was finally released, a long groan escaped his throat. His fingertips were tingling, and his lips felt like they were on fire. He wanted her - now.
A mischievous grin appeared as he watched her walk back towards him, wearing only her short-sleeved undershirt. "Come here," he moaned, his voice hoarse. One arm outstretched in her direction, ready to pull her close.
As she knelt on the roomy chair, her inner thighs pressed against his muscular legs, he cupped her face in both hands and purred: "You left me something to unwrap. How thoughtful of you." He saw her smile broadly at him. Another jolt went through his body as suddenly her wet cunt rubbed against his too-ready cock. He groaned and closed his eyes, trying to breathe and calm himself. This was getting out of hand.
When he opened his eyes again, the dark desire she saw in his grey-green eyes felt like it could pierce her soul, threatening to take her breath away.
He took another deep breath, trying to steady his voice. Looking slightly upward, he said as calmly as possible, "Computer, activate 'Do not Disturb' mode, lock the door, and no comms." After waiting for the confirmation beep, he looked back at her. Leaning close, he whispered in her ear: "We don't want any visitors right now, do we?"
No one was going to stop him now. While in Sickbay, he couldn't shake off the thoughts that had crept into his mind. Memories of past mistakes and regrets played over and over in his head, mistakes he swore he would never make again.
Looking at her again, he noticed her smile growing wider, feeling the sensations surging through his body as she continued to move, causing him to bite his lip.
"Oh, you naughty, naughty girl," he groaned, gazing at her with desire.
He kissed her hard and passionately as if he wanted to devour her while his hand wandered down her back and then to her belly. His fingertips caressed over the smooth fabric of her undershirt on their way down. He noticed her breathing becoming ragged again and heard her muffled moans. Pulling back slightly, he let his lips and tongue slide down her neck.
Her pulse raced as his hot and eager lips brushed against her skin. She wrapped her arms around his neck and desperately fought to keep her balance as she instinctively arched her back, lost in passion.
His hand slid under her shirt, caressing her bare skin. Expecting to feel her hot, soft, and flawless skin, his body instantly tensed. He looked back up at her, gazing deep into her eyes. His breathing quickened as he traced slightly thicker tissue with his fingertips. His mouth opened slightly. He knew this all too well and recognized it immediately: a scar.
Suddenly, he caught the scent of smoke, and everything blurred. The taste of blood filled his mouth, and he winced as a sharp pain intensified in his chest. The pressure grew, making him gasp for air. Then, a voice - distant at first - reached his ears. He shook his head slowly and blinked until his vision cleared.
He felt her hand on his cheek, and his heartbeat and breathing slowed.
It took him a few moments to realize that he wasn't back on the Bridge when hell broke loose around him, nor in Sickbay, where he had fought for his life. As he recognized her face, however, he instantly calmed down.
"I told you, I'm fine," she whispered as she gently stroked his cheek, seeing the worry and fear in his eyes. Seeing the desperate expression on his face almost tore her apart. Moments ago, she had wanted nothing more than to forget the last few hours. But seeing him like this, she suddenly wanted to tell him. "It happened so quickly, but the Chief... "She took a deep breath and closed her eyes as she remembered. Her body tensed for a moment as she recalled her brush with death. "He made sure we all got out in time."
He took a deep breath to calm himself and stop his mind from spiraling into endless what-if scenarios. Instead, he focused on one fact: They, both of them, had been fortunate today. He let out a quiet sigh as his hand moved across her belly, his fingertips finding one scar after another.
"You still call him 'Chief,'" he said, forcing a smile as he tried to change the subject.
She mimicked his smile, obviously relieved. "Yeah, I guess he likes it for some reason."
"Yes, he does," he replied. His smile was now genuine. His new Chief Engineer was transferred when the Titan arrived at the dock for the retrofit. Shaw had known Commander Marcus Hanley since the war. While he may not be familiar with the ship after its many upgrades, he was one of the best Greasemonkeys Shaw knew. Hanley could tackle any challenging situation and always knew how to prioritize. Most importantly, he was a friend Shaw trusted with his life - for a reason.
The sensation of her soft lips against his brought him back to reality. A smile spread across his face as he kissed her in return. He traced her skin with both hands under her shirt as he lifted the fabric and finally over her head. He swallowed hard as he noticed the numerous scars on her chest and a large scar that had obviously been caused by a burn. Having witnessed numerous injuries throughout his life, both to himself and others, the last few hours reminded him how precious life was.
She gently stroked his hair while he stared at her with his devastated face. "I feel no pain," she reassured him again.
"Let me double-check," he whispered, glancing back at her, forcing a playful grin.
He leaned down until his lips were only an inch away from her chest. His hot breath ghosted over her skin, following one of her scars. He heard her whimper instantly as his lips and tongue touched the slightly thicker skin, feeling her muscles flex. His first urge was to stop, not wanting to hurt her, but as her gasps turned into a low moan, he smiled and kept on going.
He held her to both sides of her chest as his lips moved from scar to scar, causing her to wriggle under his touch. He moaned as her cunt occasionally brushed against his cock.
As his tongue reached her bra, his hand slid down her back and released the clasp. He pulled back and watched as she discarded the last remaining cloth onto the floor.
With a mischievous smile, he leaned down and cupped one of her nipples with his mouth. As he began to suck eagerly, her body jerked as if she had been struck by lightning.
"Liam," she breathed. Her hands desperately grabbed the back of his head, her fingers entangling in his hair, as the sensation of his warm mouth and his tongue almost overwhelmed her. She instinctively rocked against him, feeling his hard cock rubbing and teasing her cunt.
He groaned as he felt his desire grow. His hand cupped her other breast, his fingers pinching her nipple, feeling it harden at once.
"Liam, I need you ..." Her voice broke as she gasped between heavy, ragged breaths. As her head fell back into her neck, she had already closed her eyes tight.
A devilish smile played around his mouth as he heard her voice's desperation and looked back up at her. He gripped her ass tight with his free hand, finally controlling her movements. Soon, his breathing picked up as he felt his arousal growing. Pulling back, he leaned close to her ear and purred: "I love to hear you beg, you know that, but I will grant your wish anyway."
Seizing her ass even tighter, his other hand slippped down between her legs. "But not yet," he growled, rubbing her fast. He heard her cry out at the sudden sensation, and only moments later, her wetness was spilling around his fingers. Moaning, he bit his lip as he felt her warm, wet, and ready, grinding against him.
She was on the verge of losing control as she stared helplessly into his desire-filled eyes. Her vision began to blur while her arms were still slung around his neck, struggling to keep her balance.
He gritted his teeth and growled while every single one of her unsteady movements let his desire grow. As her breathing became ragged, he pressed his forehead against hers, watching her closely, murmuring to her until the sensations he was giving her finally pushed her over the edge. He held her tight as multiple waves of pleasure surged through her body.
As her breathing slowed down, he kissed her passionately, allowing her only a brief moment to catch her breath.
Grabbing her ass with both hands, he lifted her up with ease while still kissing her passionately. A moment later, he felt her hands on his cock, running painfully slow up and down its length, causing him to moan while his tongue explored her mouth more eagerly.
Finally, he felt her grab him, and as she slowly and gently lowered herself onto him, he pulled back, watching her face as she let him slide gently inside her.
As he felt her warmth and wetness all around him, another groan escaped his throat. He let her set the pace and held her tight at the side of her neck, making sure he could see her face and eyes as she started moving. His thumb stroked her jawbone, finding and tracing her lips; her mouth slightly opened as she breathed hard.
Fighting against being overwhelmed by his longing to take control, he rasped, breathing heavily: "Is this why you're here?"
She didn't respond, and he didn't expect an answer. He saw her lustful expression, and her eyes clouded with desire. Her rhythm intensified, her moans got louder, and he felt her muscles close around him. His heart raced as he followed her every move with his eyes. Lost in ecstasy, she whispered his name between heavy breaths. She was so close. He took another deep breath as he fought for control. When he heard her scream and felt her so tight, shivers ran down his spine. As her body twitched uncontrollably, he took her once more in a tight embrace.
Burying his face in her neck, he felt her still racing pulse as her breathing calmed. His fingertips ran down her spine and grabbed her ass tight. Finally, he angled her, sliding his cock deeper. He heard her gasp as she tried to wriggle herself out of his tight grip.
"Not so fast," he groaned, muffled, his lips still pressed against her hot and smooth skin.
Passionately nibbling at her neck, he started to rock her against him, his cock sliding deep inside her. He smiled as he instantly heard her moan his name again. He guided her gently at first, but soon, his body was screaming for release, and he picked up the pace.
She was helpless, entirely at his mercy. It felt like she couldn't move or even breathe with his arms so tight around her body. As he drove into her hard and fast, her body trembled, and it literally took her breath away. Her uncontrolled moans were muffled as she desperately pressed her lips against his shoulder. "Liam, please," she pleaded with the last strength she had in her. She couldn't take it any longer. He did not stop, either because he couldn't hear her or he didn't want to.
Desire was pumping through his veins. All he could hear was his pulse racing, his blood rushing in his ears, blocking everything else. This was perfect. Her trembling body pressed against his, her smooth skin, her hair tickling his chest. Buried deep, deep inside her, he felt her tight and wet around him. Everything he had ever wanted was here and now in his arms. He was quickly reaching his breaking point, and his legs jerked, rocking himself hard and fast against her, ramming his cock even deeper. The sudden pain from his injury was numbed by his approaching release, also dulling his mind. His racing heartbeat throbbed in his ears, drowning out her frantic cries, and he didn't notice both of her hands desperately gripping the hair at the back of his head.
His hands grabbed her ass so tight his fingertips turned white as he guided her faster and faster, driving his cock into her. The last tiny part of his mind that wasn't yet swallowed by desire slid his hand between their bodies, down below her waist. Finding her clit he rubbed her fast, hearing her gasp instantly. As he felt her muscles tighten around him, he buried himself in her with a moan, utilizing the very last strain of strength he had left. Bucking his hips desperately, he came deep inside her, feeling her going over the edge only seconds later. His groans were almost in sync with her frantic gasps for air.
Finally releasing her ass, he slid his hands up over her back, holding her close as they both slowly calmed down.
Completely exhausted, her body finally began to relax, and she rested her head on his shoulder. She was still breathing hard when she felt him loosen his tight embrace, letting her move and breathe freely.
As he gazed into her weary eyes, he briefly grew concerned. Still, the slight smile on her lips eased his worry, allowing him to exhale in relief and return her smile.
Gently holding her at her hips, he helped her settle beside him in the chair. After pulling his pants back up, he felt her arms around his neck, embracing him, holding him tight, and her warm body snuggling against him. He gently stroked and kissed her hair as she laid her head on his shoulder.
He felt her hot breath on his neck as her breathing slowed down even further. She was about to drift off to sleep. Holding her tightly, he pressed her gently close to him. Finally feeling relaxed, he focused on the sensation of her body against his. For a brief moment, he finally felt peaceful and calm.
The relief only lasted for a second. Reality crashed back on him. He sighed quietly, trying not to disturb her, wanting to savor this moment as long as possible. Suddenly feeling her shiver, he whispered in her ear, "Come on, I will get you somewhere warm."
As he carefully got up and gently released himself from her embrace, he heard her groan in disappointment. He smiled slightly at her reaction and lifted her up into his arms. "Hold on tight. We don't want any accidents, do we?" He felt her arms around his neck again a moment later and her head sleepily pressed against his chest. "Good girl," he murmured, carrying her to his bed. His steps were slow but surprisingly stable, considering his injury. Soon, he laid her down gently.
After tucking her in, she snuggled into the sheets, and then he moved around the bed to his side, laying down on the daybed. He turned to look at her and watched as she turned to face him. For a moment, he wondered if she was deliberately turning her back to the window, to the nebula outside that had sealed their fate. When she reached out her hand again, he took it and squeezed it gently. He met her hazy gaze as he stroked the back of her hand with his thumb. It took only a few moments for her to close her eyes and drift asleep.
He watched her for a few minutes, enjoying the sight of her so peacefully, while trying to relax himself. However, his thoughts began to swirl once again. He wanted to push them aside, but he realized she wasn't the only person on this ship he needed to care for; there were others he was also responsible for.
Taking a deep breath, he carefully left the bed to avoid disturbing her and returned to the seating area. As he walked carefully, he realized that he still wasn't as mobile as he would have liked. His body grew tense again fast. He picked up the hypospray and looked out the window at the almost colorless nebula. After feeling the sting and hearing the hiss of the hypospray, he instantly relaxed. Picking up his walking stick resting against the coffee table, he left his quarters.
***
A movement on the bed stirred her awake. Opening her eyes slowly, she blinked a few times to clear her vision.
"Hey, you," she whispered, smiling as the dim silhouette in front of her transformed into a face she recognized.
"Hello there," he smiled back at her.
He was so close to her by now that she could smell the alcohol in his breath. It wasn't a brand she had seen here in his quarters but one they only offered at the Bar on the Holodeck.
Suddenly, a shiver ran down her spine as memories of how they had met there on their first night together flooded her mind. She felt his touch on her cheek and closed her eyes, biting her lip.
As the sudden sensation faded, she whispered, "One of the power surges woke me up earlier. I was looking for you, but you were gone." She recalled how alone and cold she felt when she stretched her arm, half-asleep, her palm searching over the unexpectedly cold sheets, only to discover that the bed beside her was empty.
"Sorry, I had to check on something," he replied, already making himself comfortable beside her.
She had difficulty making out his expression in the dim lighting of his quarters. But she still noticed that his smile appeared sad, and for the first time, she saw that the glint in his eyes, which she had learned to love, had vanished once again.
After inhaling deeply, he repeated, "I'm sorry."
"You're the Captain. You don't have to explain yourself to me," she replied, smiling sadly as she remembered how she had felt. In the end, she was just glad that he had returned.
Closing his eyes for a second, sighing. As he gritted his teeth, his expression changed from one moment to another, becoming cold and severe. "No, I'm talking about this," he said. When he opened his eyes, they were lit with anger, and he glared past her at the nebula outside. He took another deep breath. Looking back at her, he gazed into her eyes intently. "That I led all of you here."
He felt anger emerge again - not the same emotion he had felt minutes ago when he encountered Admiral Picard at the Holodeck. No, this was different. He felt angry at himself for failing his crew.
"It's not your fault," she said, trying to calm him down when she heard that he was talking himself into a state of rage.
"Oh, it is. I'm the Captain of this ship," his voice started breaking.
"You did everything in your power," she whispered, not wanting to admit that he had started to scare her.
"No, I didn't," he barked back at her, shaking his head. "I could have stopped this," he clenched his teeth again. "I should have," he hissed. He had betrayed why he had chosen the command track: to keep people from suffering because of someone else's bad decisions. And now he was the one and only reason people were suffering and dying.
For the first time, she noticed the tears in the corners of his eyes and the pain reflecting in his expression. She took his face in both hands, glad he didn't avoid her touch. Enjoying the sensation of his beard scratching her palms, she spoke in the firmest voice she could summon: "It's not your fault." She saw his mouth twitching, but he didn't move away from her, kept silent, and didn't cut her off. "You are not the one who guided us here under false pretenses."
"But I gave the order to head into this death trap," he replied. His voice was still angry, and fury sparkled in his eyes, but still, he seemed somewhat calmer.
"You had no choice. There were people in danger. You couldn't just stand by and watch when somebody needed help. That wouldn't be you," she said, stroking one of his cheeks with her thumb. "No one on the crew will blame you for this." As she saw him closing his eyes and inhaling deeply, she added, "Absolutely no one."
Shaking his head, he closed his eyes and processed her words, clinging to them like a lifeline that kept him from being swallowed up by his doubts. As he had been trained in numerous sessions, he concentrated on his steady breathing and soon felt the tension fading.
Taking deep breaths, he admitted that her words definitely affected him. He had only known her for a few months, but one thing was clear: she had a way with people. She could easily make someone feel at ease. She had found the words he did not want to hear but obviously needed to hear.
When he opened his eyes, he saw her face instantly light up with a smile, and all his anger, which had sent his blood boiling only moments ago, transformed into an equally strong emotion. His breathing quickened as he leaned in close. His lips were inches from hers when he heard the whistle of a shipwide call. He closed his eyes in frustration, exhaling slowly. 'Perfect timing,' he thought bitterly.
Letting himself fall onto his back, he reached for her hand, squeezing it tight as he listened to acting Captain Riker speak to the crew.
They had a plan. There was hope that they could get out of here alive. But he also knew from experience what hope could do to people, for the better and the worse.
After the call ended, he faced her with a sad smile.
"So, we still have a chance," she said uneasily, unsure if she wanted to hear the answer.
"I suppose," he replied, keeping his tone as neutral as possible. From past experiences, he understood how deceptive hope could be and what might follow now. He wasn't sure if the plan would succeed, but they now had a slight chance of escaping this.
He looked at her, seeing her racing thoughts reflected in her face. All he wanted was to hold and reassure her, whispering that everything would be alright, even though it may be a lie.
Forcing a smile, he looked at her, examining her face and trying to recall every moment she had smiled and laughed and how her body felt against his. He swallowed hard, realizing he could have spent at least a few months with her, but he had wasted so much time worrying and doubting. Now, it was too late.
"Will it work?" she asked carefully, unsure if she wanted to hear the answer.
Taking a deep sigh, he thought for a moment before responding, "I'm not sure what they are trying to do. But if they do what I'm suspecting ..." There was a hint of resignation in his voice. "I don't know if Mark can pull it off. He will try his best. No doubt about that ... but he wasn't there when the retrofits happened, and some parts got rewired multiple times, so it is a hell of a mess." He gave her a sad smile. "You know that firsthand."
He rubbed his eyes, exhausted. "He doesn't know the systems as well as ..."
"You," she finished his sentence.
He let out a deep sigh and nodded. "I might be able to help them. At least I know some of the reworked parts better," he replied, his voice filled with anger and frustration.
"But they didn't ask you for help," she said, unsure if it was a question or a statement.
He nodded sadly and moved closer to her, frowning. He wasn't sure if he should blame Mark for not wanting to go behind Picard's back and asking him directly for advice, even in a situation like this.
He shook his head in a futile attempt to clear his mind and finally pulled her closer. They had little time left, and he wouldn't waste it worrying about the past, which he couldn't change anymore.
As she felt his forehead pressed against hers, she started to relax. She reached out to him, gently stroking his cheek. Her hand wandered down to his neck, feeling and focusing on his steady pulse.
He wanted to stay forever like this, watching her, holding her close.
"How long?" he heard her. Her voice was not more than a whisper.
"They will now start to divert all the power to the engines," he responded, pausing for a second. "One hour until the life support system will fail. At most."
He wondered whether they should remain here or head to the safety zones like everyone else who was not on duty. But watching her, he knew he didn't care much as long as he was with her.
His thumb stroked her cheek, sliding down to her lips. She slightly opened her mouth as he gently caressed them. As he felt her hot tongue touching his fingertip, warmth spread through his body, and from one moment to the next, images that fueled his desire flooded his mind. Taking her face in both hands with a sharp breath, he pressed his lips on hers. His tongue slid easily into her still-open mouth, and he heard her moan softly as he passionately explored her mouth.
He pressed his body against hers, still leaving enough space to slide one of his hands between the sheets and her bare skin. As his now tingling fingertips slid along her breastbone down to her stomach, he felt her muscles flex where he touched her skin. He smiled against her lips as he watched her wriggle under his touch. His other hand pushed her back so she lay flat on the bed. Without breaking the intense kiss, he pinned her down with his weight.
He adjusted the sheets to expose more of her skin, then paused the kiss so they could both catch their breath. After repositioning himself to relieve his injured leg, he let his lips and tongue move down from her chin, following the same path his hand had taken before.
The sensations of the wet trail his hot lips and tongue left on her skin and his beard brushing against her caused her to quickly lose control. When he reached the first of her scars, she writhed violently. Only a moment later, she felt the grip of his hands on either side of her ribcage, holding her down and preventing her from moving away from his touch.
"Don't worry, I'll be more thorough this time," he groaned while his lips were still pressed against her skin. As a loud moan escaped her throat, he looked back up at her, laughing. "Easy, girl. Save your strength. Because ..." he purred and let his eyes slowly wander up and down her body. "This will take a while." Seeing her bite her lip, desperately trying to calm herself, he grinned devilishly and leaned back down. His hot breath ghosted along her skin, and he heard her helplessly gasp his name. When he felt her hand at the back of his head, his eager lips felt on fire as they finally met her slightly salty skin. A shiver ran down his spine as her taste lingered on his tongue, and he couldn't help but moan.
His mind was clouded with desire, and he was focused entirely on her, her movements, her gasps. With his tongue, he sought out every spot that he knew would drive her wild. Lost in passion himself, his blood rushed through his veins as a piercing sound reached his ears. He tried to ignore it, but seconds later, it repeated itself. He growled in frustration and then drew back. Looking up at her, seeing her looking back at him, breathing hard, he realized it was not just his imagination. She had heard it, too.
"Fuck," he muttered under his breath as he realized that the door's 'Do Not Disturb' status had reset when he had left the quarters. "Fuck," he repeated, a bit louder this time, already letting go of her. Clenching his fists, he took a deep breath.
When he looked at her, she saw something on his face – an expression even darker than anything she had seen on him before – just for a split second. The intensity in his eyes made her shiver as if they were almost burning into her soul.
Sighing in frustration, he whispered, his voice still hoarse, "Stay put; this won't take long," while putting a finger to his lips to signal her to keep quiet.
His sudden cold and dark tone compelled her even more to comply.
When he got up from the bed, he noticed out of the corner of his eye that she had pulled the sheets up, attempting to cover herself. Seeing her like that made him smile, even in his angered state.
As she watched him, she didn't fail to notice that his movements were surprisingly smooth, suggesting he had finally adjusted to his limited mobility and pain. The only sign he was still affected was a brief pause before fully standing up. He reached for his walking stick, leaning against the nightstand, and approached the door. When she heard the door hiss open, she had already closed her eyes.
She was beginning to calm down when she heard a strangely familiar voice. Instantly, a sense of panic surged within her. It was the voice that every cadet at the Academy knew by heart - and likely every citizen of the Federation recognized as well: the voice of Admiral Picard.
Her breathing quickened as she suddenly realized that hiding under the covers might be useless since her clothes were still strewn across the floor and provided a clear giveaway. She glanced cautiously at the door and relaxed when she saw Liam, whether intentionally or not, blocking it with his body. A hint of a smile crossed her lips as she lay motionless on the bed with her eyes closed, listening to their conversation. Liam's annoyed tone was unmistakable.
Hearing the door close and footsteps approaching, she sat up, wrapped the sheets around herself, and walked to meet him in the middle of the room.
"You heard it, right?" he asked. His voice was firm, but his demeanor was much more relaxed.
As she nodded silently, she saw a smile on his face - a genuine smile. He looked happy, even giddy. Suddenly, the man standing before her was no longer the harsh and usually grumpy Captain responsible for 500 lives but the young Ensign eager to dive deep into a ship's bowels, build, fix, and make things right.
"So you get to save the day after all," she said, looking up at him, still dazed by what she saw in his face and the returned glint in his eyes. She tried to relax while enjoying the touch of his strong arms embracing her around her waist.
"It looks like it," he said with a smile, his hand gently stroking up and down her side.
"Hotwiring the nacelles?" she asked disbelievingly while enjoying his touch. She hadn't understood every word of their conversation but had apprehended so much.
"Well, it's genius ... if it works." His smile widened.
Leaning down, he kissed her gently, lingering to memorize how she felt and tasted. When he pulled back, his expression was serious once again.
"I don't know if this will work out, so ..." he took a deep breath. "Promise me you head to the safety zone on Deck 7. Most of the crew from Engineering is probably already there."
While the Titan had been refitted at the dock, he had many opportunities to be around her. As far as he could tell, she was still the closest with the crew in Engineering.
She tried to answer, but he cut her off. "You don't want to be alone when… It happens. Believe me, you don't." His stern expression made it clear that arguing would be pointless.
She nodded, although a thousand thoughts were racing through her mind. "Promised," she murmured, avoiding his gaze.
"That's my girl," he replied, stroking and kissing her hair.
"Liam?" she asked, taking a deeper breath and finally looking up at him.
"Yeah?" he replied with a bittersweet smile as he noticed her concern.
"Dipshit?" she asked with a forced smile, trying to keep her mind from spiraling.
His eyes lit up briefly, and she heard a low chuckle. "That's a longer story; let's save it for later, alright?"
"Alright," she agreed, trying to lose herself in his deep grey-green eyes, knowing he would soon be gone.
"I have to go now," he stroked her cheek gently one last time, looking deep into her eyes. "I will find you."
Seeing her nod silently, he forced a smile. Without another word, he turned and began to walk slowly but steadily out the door.