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The door to Kageyama’s bedroom closed with a little click, and Hinata breathed deeply, swiveling around to face the bed in the back corner. Feeling the exhaustion from the day sink in, he walked briskly over to it and flopped down on his back with a loud sigh.
“Hah, Kageyama, I’m so glad you live close by.”
He eyed the boy for a moment, who hummed in response before he walked calmly over to his small closet to change into some more comfortable clothes. Hinata had changed before they left practice, and wore a simple yellow t-shirt with brown cargo shorts.
Classes and practices were done for the week, and despite the way Hinata’s legs and back ached from training, he buzzed with anticipation for the upcoming Interhigh preliminaries.
The beginning of their second year at Karasuno saw a lot of changes. He found himself missing Daichi’s voice, Asahi’s power contrasted with his meek personality, and Suga’s smug looks. Where before, they had a calm, collected Kiyoko on the bench, there sat Yachi, alone. The incoming first-years had so much passion. He and his partner were finally inspiring a new generation. One day, they would be gone too. The Karasuno High School Volleyball Club would just be a memory to him. He wanted to stay on the court with everyone. He never wanted their high school games to end.
Most importantly, he wanted his partner.
The change was needed, though. To keep improving and chasing each other for the rest of their lives, they’d have to be apart at some point. Nobody’s around forever. That’s just part of growing up, and Hinata felt like he should accept that.
With recent developments, though, a part of him began to protest.
The baby blue, barren walls of Kageyama’s bedroom made the warmth of his skin glow. Hinata traced his eyes along his boyfriend’s lower back as he changed, taking in the shape of his waist, the dip in his skin where his spine curved, and his bottom two ribs. He watched his triceps flex and release whenever his arms straightened or bent. He took in the way the cool light of the room reflected off of his hair and his eyes. Before he realized, they wound up staring at each other for a second. Hinata felt his heart stop, then pull. Something in his chest stirred, ached, yearned for something . He couldn’t get a hold of himself.
Kageyama was unaware, and he grimaced in his new black hoodie and sweatpants.
“Quit watching me change y–”
“I love you.”
Kageyama’s jaw hung open, mid-sentence, and he blinked, blue eyes wide and shaky. Hinata snapped his jaw shut, rib cage tightening as he took two shallow breaths in and out of his nose. The silence that overcame the room was thick and heavy. It weighed on Hinata like a brick. This was different from the kind of pressure he felt on the court. It wasn’t the same as when Kageyama expected him to jump higher, move quicker, push himself a little more. It was an emotional boundary they were just getting used to crossing with each other.
What’s wrong with me? He thought, in those few seconds of silence, We’ve only been together for like three months. Should I apologize? Is he mad? He doesn’t look mad…
Kageyama finally blinked, and he made a strange expression. His eyes were blown open, eyebrows twitching into something akin to concern. He spluttered a bit (and Hinata swore he saw his ears turn a bit red) before closing the closet doors, not breaking eye contact with Hinata.
“You… you’re weird,” he muttered, dumbstruck, but not annoyed, more awkward. Hinata’s interest piqued.
“What? Do you not love me back?” He couldn’t help but tease Kageyama a bit, putting on a cocky grin. He wondered if he could push the reserved, negative-Nancy boyfriend of his to say something sappy.
“Shut up!” Kageyama exclaims, stomping over to the bed and jumping onto it, deliberately trying to bounce Hinata off like they were on a trampoline. Hinata yelped and Kageyama paid no mind, rolling to face the wall and close himself off. He glanced over his shoulder at Hinata before quickly turning back to the wall. “I…” he almost started a sentence.
“You what?” Hinata leaned back a bit, making his voice just a wee bit softer, a bit more tender, vulnerable, but still a tease. It had the intended effect, and Kageyama visibly tensed up before he tried to shake it off, curling even further into himself.
“Shut the hell up,” he muttered in a tone Hinata had never heard. It was stubborn and forced (nothing new), but there was something else there. A secret third thing. Shame? Guilt? Or was he melting into a puddle before Hinata’s very eyes?
He figured if Kageyama didn’t love him back, he would’ve said so…
“Oh… okay… sure,” followed by uncomfortable silence and a, “I think you should go.”
But that hadn’t happened. He was acting strange, and Hinata almost felt guilty. Almost. But he wanted to crack open Kageyama’s shell, once and for all. He figured Kageyama loved him, but he wanted to hear it from the source. Selfishly, he persisted.
“No, you totally love me,” he spoke normally again, “You have to say it back! Say it!”
Hinata pounced on his boyfriend’s back, using a tone that would usually be accompanied by some playful slaps and punches, but replacing those actions with gentle rubs or kisses along the back of his head. He hoped the contrast would make Kageyama crack under pressure.
“Say it back, Kageyama, you dickhead,” he was laughing at this point.
“No, freaking dumbass.”
“So you don’t love me back?”
“Argh,” Kageyama groaned, loud, but again, not with annoyance. Hinata ached with curiosity. It killed him to not live in Kageyama’s head and know how his stupid brain worked. He pulled a little bit away, leaving a breath of a kiss on the back of Kageyama’s neck. He was trying really, really hard.
“Fine, then. You’re so cruel.”
This was the true test, the kicker. He pulled off of the other boy’s back, and watched him turn around expectantly, his eyes cold and bright, and the skin on his face pink. He took the bait . Amused, Hinata rolled onto his back and patted his chest, humming with content as his partner eagerly rolled into his arms. Though they were vastly different heights, Kageyama was thin, and almost seemed tiny when he was wrapped up in Hinata’s embrace. Hinata was the only one that got to see Kageyama like this, face buried in the fabric of his t-shirt, warm with blush, and clingy. It made his heart flutter, and he hoped Kageyama couldn’t hear it pounding in his chest (he totally could, but the hope was still there).
The silence in the room was thick once again, and it clogged Hinata’s mind like a pipe. Kageyama was breathing unevenly on his chest, each inhale and exhale somehow sounding more practiced and conscious than the last. There was something he had to say, and Hinata waited for him with baited breath.
Kageyama shifted and tilted his head, locking eyes with his boyfriend. Hinata blinked once and stared back.
“Shoyo…” He murmured. The boy’s given name passed to his ears like a secret. It was almost intimate.
“What?” Hinata’s heart lurched in his chest. He tried to match the tenderness of the other boy’s voice, but couldn’t quite catch it since he was so nervous. Kageyama ripped his eyes away, hiding in his boyfriend’s t-shirt again.
“I l-...” his voice shook ever so slightly and he took a quick breath through his nose, “Love… you too…”
“I love you more.”
Hinata grinned ear-to-ear, so much that it hurt, and Kageyama writhed, grumbling senselessly in annoyance.
“No you don’t,” he quipped back sheepishly. The tenderness in his voice had gone, and he grumbled with the same tone Hinata would often hear during their practices and games. Hinata didn’t mind that, though, he thought it was cute.
“You sure?” He took the opportunity to tease his partner some more. Kageyama lifted his head up off Hinata’s chest this time, eyes slightly glossy, cheeks bright red, and scowling (maybe more of a pout). Hinata was completely sure that he was also a blushing mess, but that didn’t matter. He was the big spoon, and still said “I love you” first, so he had all the power. When he met Kageyama’s eyes, he smiled, and enjoyed watching the way his partner’s nose twitched. He was so flustered he had no idea what to do with himself, clearly, so he dropped the lovestruck expression, even though a little wobbly smile tried to peek through.
“I don’t like you,” was all Kageyama had to respond with.
“Yeah, because you love me, don’t you?” Hinata retorted, lifting one hand up to ruffle Kageyama’s hair while using his other arm to trap him to his chest (not that he would ever move). “You dork.”
Kageyama groaned and stared down at his bedsheets, avoiding any eye contact. Still looking annoyed, he stole a quick, shy glance one time before responding.
“Yeah, I do. What about it?”
He seemed proud of himself initially, watching Hinata’s face for any sort of reaction. When he was met with brown eyes full of love, a triumphant giggle, and a warm hand cupping his cheek, he broke, falling back onto Hinata’s chest. Hinata hugged him tightly, pressing little kisses into Kageyama’s scalp. He would have continued the mocking, but it felt inappropriate at that moment. He felt overcome by that same tender, aching feeling from before, but it was different this time. He wasn’t yearning, he was just happy . So, so happy. He giggled some more, shamelessly, not failing to notice how Kageyama shifted a little, trying to get closer even though they were already cuddling.
“I love you too, Tobio,” he said softly, gently scratching down the back of his boyfriend’s head, through his hair, and down to the nape of his neck. Kageyama shivered, and smiled for the first time that night, bright and content. Hinata felt it when he stroked his face, and it seemed neither of them could stop grinning.
They sat together, in silence, breathing inversely for who knows how long. Hinata would feel the words bubble up again, and he felt like shouting them to the wind, saying a million times over how he loves Kageyama Tobio. But he worried that would make the words less special, that their meaning would get lost along the way.
Change is a part of life. It was a part of relationships, too. Hinata wondered if Kageyama ever thought about this stuff.
When Kageyama shifted again, he grunted and snaked his arms behind Hinata. He achieved what he wanted and got closer, taking refuge in the crook of his partner’s neck, and breathed deeply. Hinata smiled, happily adjusting for him, and he felt like everything was going to be okay. He thought about kissing Kageyama senselessly, but not before mocking him one last time.
“I win, by the way.”
Kageyama lifted his head up, furrowing his brows in confusion at Hinata. “You won what?”
“I said it first. I win.”
Hinata got a kick out of watching the wheels turn in Kageyama’s head for a couple seconds. In those few moments, he pouted, scowled in deep thought, and then went into shock with a cartoonish open-mouth frown. He roared and groaned as he fell back into Hinata’s neck.
“Fuck you.”