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In the dim light of the bedroom, the shifting of a warm body was nearly unnoticeable. Phoenix didn’t dare to turn on the lights for a better look, he didn’t want to destroy the peace - he’d done that enough already.
But as he stood in the doorframe, nothing about this situation seemed real anymore. Of course, Phoenix was no stranger to his life taking a crazy turn or ten, but this… this was so far out from his expertise. His fingers tightened around the haphazardly painted frame, creating a creaking sound so very deafening in this silence.
There was a child in his bed.
Trucy Gramarye - or was it Enigmar? - eight years of age and now completely alone.
At least for tonight.
Phoenix stared at the girl; her frame masked by the fluffy onesie they had bought earlier. Trucy hadn’t had any clothes apart from what she was wearing, which would be a problem to completely solve… later. Perhaps by someone else.
It was already late April, but in some cruel twist of fate, it was cold despite summer allegedly approaching. Phoenix didn’t mind, he wasn’t quite in the mood for sunshine and warmth.
Trucy was a baffling child; clearly anxious and terrified by what had transpired yet strained to keep pretending she wasn’t all the same. Her jokes and lighthearted comments had fallen a bit flat, if only because Phoenix had been able to see her fingers tremble where they parted clothes on the racks.
He wasn’t sure what to do with any of that.
Against popular theory, Phoenix wasn’t actually good with kids.
Maya had been nearly an adult when they’d met, not much younger than himself, actually. And Pearls… well, getting along with her was easy enough. After meeting her mother and holding on to her tiny hand trough way too many harrowing trials, Phoenix had learned to navigate with her around easily.
Trucy, though… there wasn’t a trial to get through anymore, no promise of a happily ever after when the gavel came down. No, this child sleeping in his run down flat had no idea what life would bring for her. Zak had vanished with Trucy’s help, avoiding a verdict and leaving hopefully only for a short while. But in contrast to his escape, the man had seemingly not arranged for anything else.
Seeing Trucy all by herself had led to Phoenix making this stupid and ill-advised decision in the first place. Sure, he’d been a wreck and running on emergency mode still, but he knew how it felt being small and alone, he simply couldn’t look away. After all, he was an adult and had to deal with this fallout, while Trucy was too young to burden with any of that.
And now Phoenix was looking after this child for who knew how long, without a job or future for himself.
Blind to his rattled state, Trucy slept on. Against Phoenix’ guess she had chosen a light blue pajama instead of the pink he’d expected after their short acquaintance. It looked odd on her, somehow.
Phoenix swallowed hard as he took in fingers peeking out from the slightly too long sleeves, grabbing onto them tightly. Her feet were also bare, the blanket pushed away as Trucy had gotten too warm underneath. It took a lot of restraint to not tuck her back in.
The way she laid there, on her belly with one arm wrapped around the single pillow, she suddenly looked a lot younger than before. Even though Phoenix didn’t know much about kids, he could say that she finally seemed her actual age. Before Trucy had been all cutesy gestures and wide eyes, but this… this was the moment Phoenix was actually hit by the implications.
His heart tightened painfully as it struck him how vulnerable Trucy was. She had hidden it well the whole day, but it hadn’t been the whole truth. Phoenix wondered if the girl even knew how to let down that performer’s smile long enough to work through her pain. It seemed unlikely.
Phoenix wasn’t sure how normal eight-year-olds behaved, but he’d expected more trouble getting her settled after the days she’d had. But Trucy had simply said her good nights, brushed her teeth and fallen asleep. No sign of any tossing and turning at all.
Back when Maya had been kidnapped and Phoenix had been desperate to investigate while making sure Pearls was staying healthy, he’d had to bring her to bed. It had been the first time she’d ever stayed over, adding the stress of the day to that had spelled out a difficult evening.
Phoenix had spent a long time holding Pearls’ hand, drawing patterns over it with his thumb until the kid had finally fallen victim to exhaustion. Extracting himself afterwards had felt risky and rude, Phoenix had feared the girl would snap awake the second he moved - but she hadn’t.
Staring down at Trucy, who’d dropped down seemingly without care… it felt odd. Leaving oneself so vulnerable to potential dangers lurking nearby - and the city certainly felt dangerous nowadays - sounded like a bad idea all around. And yet she had done it, making Phoenix wonder how used she was to the world shifting underneath her tiny feet.
Trucy was so young and so strong, Phoenix wanted to allow her to let go of just for a little while.
The bedroom door squeaked as it was pushed ajar, enough to make Phoenix freeze but not so loud as to make the sleeping child stir. At first, he meant to push it completely closed, then Phoenix thought better of it.
If something were to happen at night, an open door made getting help easier. Phoenix remembered how he’d never quite gathered the courage to knock at his guardian’s door when he woke up after a nightmare. And he also recalled how Pearls had tearfully asked if he could keep the desk light on overnight in a not-too-distant past.
Children ought to be scared and intimidated; Phoenix wanted to provide Trucy a relatively safe haven even if she might not need it.
He sat down heavily on the sofa, its old creases molded to his slump by years of regular use. The air was quiet and cool, even the ever-present humming of cars driving by was muted somehow. Phoenix pondered switching the TV on for some background noise then decided against it. Apparently, it was hard to wake up healthy sleeping children, but better safe than sorry, right?
Phoenix definitely needed a few minutes - or even hours - to get his own head on straight again. So far, he’s been holding himself together through sheer determination and Mia’s voice in his ear that a lawyer was only allowed to cry when it was all over.
Except he wasn’t a lawyer anymore, was he?
Shit.
That part also hadn’t quite sunk in yet. Nothing about this trial had ended well, no chance for a good ending, no chance of a last-minute turnabout.
Phoenix wondered idly if he’d have to tell Edgeworth or if the rumor mill would inform him before he could manage tracking down his current whereabouts. And Maya - well, she deserved a phone call soon, Phoenix just had to figure out what to say first. Or generally what his plan for the future was.
His path had never been set in stone in the first place, neither his schooling nor his degree and much less his startlingly short-lived career as a defense attorney. Perhaps he ought to gather his remaining art credits and finish that degree now. Hah.
Even if Phoenix had the kind of money to return to university, being an artist certainly wouldn’t pay his bills - Larry was a great example for that.
And what if Zak wouldn’t show to pick up Trucy?
Phoenix would have to inform the police about his former client abandoning his child. Which didn’t look good at all and would definitely complicate Zak’s eventual return to get her back. And where would Trucy be sent then? Foster homes were still as rare as they had been 20 years ago, and group homes were severely underfunded.
There only seemed room for possible mistakes, more bad decisions with outcomes he wasn’t prepared for.
Phoenix buried the face in his hands, fingers gripping limp strands of hair. He was so tired, the stress turning into exhaustion so severe it made his bones ache. Without the usual euphoria of a non-guilty verdict Phoenix seemed to simply… deflate.
But the idea of getting sleep himself seemed too ludicrous to entertain seriously. There was too much on his mind.
He could keep Trucy.
It was another spontaneous idea, one about a topic that shouldn’t be taken lightly. Yet, behind his eyelids Phoenix could see a future he’d never envisioned before:
Welcoming a kid back home from school, asking how their day went.
Trying out new recipes and gather approval or disapproval by a small critic.
Spending a day deep cleaning together, getting distracted by laughter and shared distractions.
Being woken up by a figure next to his bed, eager to show him her newest trick.
Receiving a call as a father.
A hand reaching for his, trustingly asking for his help.
Phoenix’ tears were hot on his cheeks and his chest burned.
Did he really want to be that? Or was he simply mourning an experience he’d wished for himself?
Could he actually take care of a child? He wasn’t good with them after all!
Well, he could be better than no parent at all, probably, but that was a bar too low to consider.
Would Trucy even want him to stay in her life? Without him this might’ve gone down very differently after all. Or maybe not, Phoenix wasn’t certain anymore. This case had been a disaster, and the conclusion continued to sit badly with him. Perhaps he was simply bitter.
If Kristoph Gavin would’ve been kept as the defense, Trucy might still have her father and Phoenix might have still have his badge. He hadn’t just lost his job; not only that but his ability to continue his career at all. Who knew if he’d be fined additionally at some point in the future?
Phoenix didn’t even have any savings worth mentioning.
What was he even supposed to do? Certainly not taking in a strange child of all things. The daughter of his runaway client he’d allegedly forged evidence for. This was a horrible idea.
Despite not quite making it as an artist, Larry had never had trouble picking up the oddest of jobs, perhaps he could give him pointers? And he certainly wouldn’t judge Phoenix’ fall from - debatable - grace.
Would anyone else? Would Edgeworth?
He steered his thoughts away, unwilling to deal with that particular direction at this point in time.
Phoenix would manage somehow; if he possessed one skill then it was somehow making it out on the other side, even if sometimes a bit late. Come morning he’d take stock of his situation and look into job offerings on short notice - perhaps the grocery store nearby was still hiring people for inventory?
He dried his face and straightened up, forcing himself back into a better headspace. It didn’t work completely, but Phoenix didn’t feel quite as disconnected anymore.
Around him there was still only silence, Trucy too far away for the sound of her breathing to carry. And yet she was just down the hall.
How quickly a life could change.
Phoenix stood, his vision swimming for a moment as he did. He made his way towards the light switch as quietly as possible, loosening his tie on the way. His own pajamas laid forgotten in his bedroom, not deemed important enough to sneak back inside for.
When Phoenix laid down - without his suit jacket and shoes - it felt a bit like his first night at the dorms years ago. Odd and terrifying but also a bit… hopeful. A door to an uncertain future, yet one not entirely horrible either. A tentative sprout fighting to stay upright and trembling in the wind – but alive and determined.
Phoenix didn’t find sleep for a long time still, but the thought of a tiny child depending on him, her life in his hands at least for a little while, helped.
And in the morning putting on a smile to face the upcoming challenges wasn’t too hard a task, because he had decided to face them head on and get to the bottom of the case as he always did.
So, Phoenix grinned at the girl in his home and it wasn’t even a complete lie.
And perhaps one day Trucy’s wouldn’t be either.
Phoenix wanted to see it happen - help make it happen.
~
Trucy Enigmar officially moved into his flat that very day and half a year later Trucy Wright picked out the apartment they would live in for years to come.
The first night in their new home, Phoenix watched over his daughter from a doorframe once again, just as terrified as the first time around. Feeling overwhelmed and worried and despite everything else: happy.