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It’s wrong and she knows it. It’s the kind of incident that a Kiramman would condemn as they read about it in their morning paper, not perpetrate it themselves. Grayson never tolerated such behavior among her officers. Marcus was more lenient, as he was in many things. When her new rank had been bestowed upon her by Medarda’s open hand and the beating fists of her people, Caitlyn made three promises to herself.
She would bring her mother’s murderer to justice.
She would reestablish law and order in Piltover, both above and below.
She would do her parents, her city, and Grayson proud.
And yet, here she is: in her room, allowing Maddie to pull her pants down.
The girl’s admiration and affection for her were obvious from the start. Maddie was the first to volunteer for any new assignment, regardless of the risks. If she had a report to give, she’d all but rush to Caitlyn’s officer door, even leaving Steb behind in the halls. When new information came to light during a meeting, Maddie’s eyes were the first to turn in her direction, looking for her commander’s response. If Caitlyn was satisfied with something, Maddie was happy. If she was angered by something, Maddie was enraged by it. On the rare occasion when Maddie failed a mission, even if the fault was not her own, guilt would cling to her for days afterwards. It was only when Caitlyn gave her some words of encouragement did the shame finally start to break.
Maddie is always just so eager to please. When she asked if there was any other way that she could be of service, eyes wide and hopeful, Caitlyn could only think of one way. Among her many problems, she’s been pent up for too long, and it’s affecting her work. She needs to focus. She needs release.
Her pants slump around her ankles. Maddie’s hands move slowly up Caitlyn’s legs to the silk of her undergarments. Too slowly. She nervously hooks her fingers into the band of Caitlyn’s underwear as a lump refuses to pass from her throat. Finally, Caitlyn grabs Maddie’s hands and yanks them, along with her underwear, down to her knees. Maddie recoils from the sudden, impatient motion, casting her embarrassed gaze to the floor. It isn’t until Caitlyn takes her chin between her fingers and tilts her head up, forcing Maddie to look her in the eye, that her courage finally returns. Caitlyn gives her a nod and Maddie starts.
Her lack of experience quickly makes itself apparent, though at least there’s energy in every movement of her lips, every flick of her tongue. It’s the same clumsy, needy energy of a fresh recruit trying to prove themselves in the eyes of their squad and commander. Caitlyn’s breath deepens and quickens, but it stays at a steady pace. By the way Maddie is going, it’s clear that she’s in no rush to be on the receiving end tonight, which suits Caitlyn perfectly. The only feelings she’s focused on are her own.
Her eyes close as she tries to get everything out of the moment that she can. Soon, her mind starts to wander as her imagination instinctively starts to improve on reality. Short fingers lengthen and weak hands turn strong as they grab her. A novice’s flicks are replaced with a master’s strokes. Her trembling legs find purchase on broad shoulders. Pleasure announces itself with screams, not murmurs. Satisfaction pours out of her instead of dripping. In Caitlyn’s mind, the head of hair between her legs isn’t orange.
A single hushed word escapes her lips. “Vi.”
Caitlyn slaps a hand over her mouth. She looks down to see if Maddie heard her. Whether or not she did, she continues to serve her commander. Overwhelmed by embarrassment and an impatient need for release, Caitlyn grabs the back of Maddie’s head and thrusts forward, pressing herself into her face. Maddie lets out a muffled yelp, but Caitlyn pays her no mind. Just get this over with, she tells herself. If a proper orgasm can’t be given to her, she’ll take it.
Caitlyn eventually finishes on Maddie’s face. Her body squirms and contorts unseemly into her orgasm, and the grunting that escapes her throat sounds pathetic in her ears. The release she wanted comes not as a burst but as a gurgle. Stress clings to her skin instead of drifting away. Caitlyn steadies herself with uneasy breaths before looking down at her loyal soldier, her head still in her hand. Maddie’s wide eyes speak in place of her panting mouth. Did I do good, Commander? they ask. Please. Tell me that I did good.
She can’t answer her. Caitlyn can’t even maintain eye contact as she moves out of Maddie’s grasp, her awkwardness compounded by the pants at her ankles and the panties around her knees. “You’ll need to go back out the way you came,” Caitlyn tells her as she pulls her clothes back up. She had given Maddie a key with the instructions that she was to enter her home quietly. She couldn’t risk anyone, especially her father, discovering her indiscretion.
“Yes, ma’am.” Maddie quickly obeys, and Caitlyn is left alone. Sleep does not find her, no matter how much she begs for it. Every time Caitlyn closes her eyes, all she can see is red hair.
The next morning, Caitlyn’s top enforcers are lined up for inspection. Their last raid into the Undercity went poorly, and whispers of discontent have started to grow among the ranks. Even the oldest veterans on the force are starting to reconsider their activities in Zaun. As Ambessa so accurately and infuriatingly informed Caitlyn, soldiers who don’t believe that they’re taking continuous steps towards victory will let their minds wander. Their dissatisfaction will fester into something worse.
The dissension among the ranks will be quashed. Caitlyn will start from the top, reinstilling proper discipline that will flow downwards through the rest of the army. Before she begins her speech, Caitlyn walks before them, looking every officer up and down. All her textbooks on military history and doctrine told her that a good leader knew her soldiers and ensured that they knew her. When she gets to Maddie, part of Caitlyn wants to skip her and go to the next enforcer in line. Yet, she stops. It’s only fair that Enforcer Nolen received the same treatment as her peers. As Caitlyn examines Nolen from boot to collar, a voice from the back of her mind voices its concerns. Did you hear me last night? it asks. Did you hear me say her name?
Caitlyn finds none of the expected resentment in Maddie’s eyes. Instead, all she sees is the same girl desperately looking for her approval and more. Caitlyn can’t bring herself to give Maddie the kind of display that she’s hoping for. Not here, not now, if there even is a time and place for such a thing. Instead, she brushes Maddie’s shoulder with her thumb, wiping away a scuff mark that isn’t there. “Keep your uniform clean, enforcer,” Caitlyn tells her. “We have appearances to keep up.”
“Yes, Commander,” replies Maddie. Caitlyn hears a note of pitiful gratification in her voice, like a woman in the desert realizing that her canteen had one last drop of water.
When Caitlyn turns away from Maddie, she sees that one of her officers is breaking formation. Steb still stands in place, but his gaze is fixed on his commander. He has nothing to say, as is his nature. Caitlyn has no doubt that Maddie kept her mouth shut about their affair, but it doesn’t matter. Steb has been with them every step of the way during their war on Zaun. He’s seen everything. He knows everything.
After a moment, Steb returns to formation, face front. Commander Kiramman collects herself and continues her inspection. She has a long day ahead of her.