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It all started with an early celebration for his rich buddies, he knew that people would eat out of his hand. He was writing a letter to his ex (who is literally in the room with them, so they are just passing notes like school children), Kim Jong Un, and telling them how they should meet up sometime over vodka and soju while discussing future plans. It made his heart flutter even though they were exes and he was already dating another. Joe Biden. Trumpy wumpy gets called over to the other room when Biden wants some alone time. He takes a slow walk over to his man, the bright white-house lights making his skin have its natural radioactive orange hue.
Once he's in the room, sleepy Joe pulls him into a drunken kiss and wraps his shaky hands around his bulbous waist. Trump takes him into a kiss but feels like he should stop this because his sweepy weepy hunny bunny lovey bear isn’t in the right state of mind, even if it hasn’t stopped them before from going at it. Trump thinks to himself, ‘Maybe a little handy will satisfy Joe for the night, that way he could get back to the person he really wants to talk to during his celebration and step closer to world domination.’ Trump was so lost in thought that he didn't notice that Joe was leading him to the desk and getting ready to fish his old man phallus out from his pants. Trump was left breathless as Biden did this, he was getting a little hot and bothered by it. Even if he hated doing so when it came to being with Joe. He hated being able to be overpowered by other men but no matter how hard he tried he couldn’t deny how much he liked it in the ass.
“Wait snookums why don’t I get you off first so we can wait, you know… until after the party guests are gone.” Trump moves his fat pale fingers down from Biden’s chest to his cock which was hard against his suit pants.
Biden gives him a nod and sits down in the chair against the wall, pants down to his ankles and a top-teeth-looking smile on his face. Trump wanted to take out the man’s dentures and swirl his tongue in the other man's mouth just to wipe the smile off his face. But he just kisses him softly before getting on his knees and stroking the other man with this hand. Biden frowns a little and takes Trump carefully by his toupee and brings his face closer to his wrinkly- vein-covered pogo stick. Trump gags and moans a couple of times as he takes it in his mouth.
“You’ve only taken 1% of my power, now get ready for my BIDEN BLAST!!!!”
Biden doesn’t take long before shooting his powdered load into his boyfriend’s warm mouth. Trump swallows it all before giving the man a forehead kiss. Biden stuttered out a sleepy ‘I love you’ before taking a nap in the chair. His pants are still down at his ankles. Trump shakes his head and puts a convenient blanket he found in a closet on top of the man.
This was all in his plan so he leaves while wiping his mouth and joining the other rich savants. He talked to the other men, like JD Vance, and Jeff Bezos as they tried to share their terrible policies with him. He has to hold back from rolling his eyes as he thinks about how stupid they all sound talking about less important things. He walks over to Kimy-Un wrapping a subtle hand on his shoulder. Kim hands him his response from his earlier written message and Trump takes it to read.
"Soju would be a great way to spend our time, of course, while in private, we can explore each other's concepts of plans for the future.” The letter made his heart thump and he looked over to Kim with a smirk on his chubby face that Trump couldn’t help but think was adorable.
“I have a study with some that I can go to right now,” Trump whispered and Kim nodded. This was Trump’s moment to tell everyone they had thirty minutes to leave or they would be kicked out. He whispered for Kim to head to the study and that he would meet him there after everyone left, which was sooner than later.
Trump practices his domination by kicking everyone out. He waddles into the study to see Kim without his suit coat sitting back on the couch that was in there. He closes the door behind him and walks over to Kim. As if they get caught in the moment, they meet hands and they fall into a lust-up stupor that leads to Kim fucking Trump like he was his bitch and there was no tomorrow, it was uncoordinated and all over the place like matting dolphins out of water. Trump was taking it from behind like a slut, taking dominant men dick like he has so many times before. Kim was claiming his body like he used to and everything. He can’t help but forget about his Joey if only for a few moments until it's all over and Kim Jong unfills his used starfish with his dictator fluid. Kim pulls away, gets dressed, and abandons Trumpy on the floor tired and cold.
Trump is starting to remember why they broke up in the first place. They seemed to always have good sex chem, but there was never any aftercare and it left Trump feeling neglected and unappreciated. He gets up with shaky legs with shaky legs and looks at his ex with longing eyes. He hated how much this treatment reminded him how Melania would peg him until he couldn’t walk straight, and he had to deal with her lethal face card while he cried until he shot spunk all over himself. Only to get a towel thrown at him and then abandoned. These are basically the same thing, especially when he watched Kim leave with not a thought but a quick wave before high tailing out of the white house.
He leaves the study and goes to check on his actual boyfriend. He felt guilty for cheating on the one person who seemed to actually give him some love and affection. He takes up sleepy Joe and they walk over to the bedroom. They get into bed after slipping into some old-timey pjs, they cuddle together and Trump feels guilty knowing and feeling the evidence of his sins, especially with how he could feel the drying seed still kinda slouching in his booty hole. They sleep soundly, with the choking and snoring they both do.
The next morning the two of them have a bit of spicy old men coitus, which is full of passion and all the energy that two men in their 80s and late 70s respectively. Doing all the fucking and sucking Trump’s holes can take. But anyway it ended with Biden filling Trumpy’s bumpy with his Biden blast.
Two months later
Trump was starting to get sick more as the days went on. He decides he should go to the store so he can get some strong alcohol, as he is going to the self-checkout a woman widens her eyes. Trump rolls his eyes as he thinks she is a fan. She snatches the bottle from him and the Secret Service gets ready to step in until the woman speaks.
RuPaul rolled her eyes, before speaking. “You can’t drink this Honey, that's bad for the baby”
Trump furrowed his brows as he looked at the person holding his desired alcohol. “What baby, ethnic woman, you are spouting nonsense.” He squints at them as he talks and repeats himself.
“OH babes you don’t know, But I can tell…” Rupaul keeps the bottle away from Trump.
“How would YOU even know that” He can’t believe he’s even entertaining this but he was curious.
“Drag magic…” There was a long pause before Rupaul spoke again. “I'm a Psychic” This information causes him to swallow nervously, just as a what-if moment hits him.
“How would that even be possible, I am a Real man, I was born a man.” He felt his body heat up with nausea, there was no way.
RuPaul just shrugged, not really knowing how to explain that to a man who looked like he was having a breakdown. Trump gets out of the line and goes back through the store, this time buying some pregnancy tests and handing them tone of his secret service members and telling him to buy them for him. He can't be seen like this.
When they get back to the white house, he grabs the bundle of pregnancy tests and paddles his short legs to the nearest bathroom. He has no clue how to use these and manages to break one somehow. He wishes he had his glasses to read better but he makes do. He does all of them and all that and waits dramatically on the bathroom floor as he waits for the results. He struggles to get up and look at each of them
They all came out as positive but that could also mean he has some kind of cancer, so he calls someone to take him to the doctor. He goes to the doctor and they tell him. That his non-built body having ass is in fact pregnancy. He feels sick, can’t be preggers, he’s a man, and all the offensive shit he would be thinking right now. He has to get rid of it, he can’t be the president of the USA if he's carrying some kind of sin child. He doesn’t even know who the father is. He slept with Kim and Joe that night.
He then tried to schedule an appointment for his boybortion. But it takes a whole week before he can go. Once he can he attempts to get an bortion and wait on the positive results. So he goes to make another appointment to get another attempt which they deny because he was quote on quote too far along. He goes home devastated and stressed and thinking of other ways to get rid of his bastard child.
He paced around the room, as he tried to think of what to do. He was floating across the room as if he was a glitching character and this was the matrix. This is so distracting that he didn’t notice his Biden babe falling into the room, seemingly tripping over nothing but thoughts and dreams but most likely the poor’s cries for help were weighing him down causing him to trip his way into Trumpmens arms.
Trump doesn’t have the reflexes or care to actually catch his boyfriend(Dodging staged bullets aside.) So Biden faces plants and his denters go flying, taking out a caged state bird in the process. Trump jumps like a scared kitten and only just now notices his pimp daddy has fallen and can’t get up. He almost pops his hip out and into place as he helps the other man get up.
“What’s wrong, my little large orange-kissed sundrop.”Biden placed a diplomatic hand on Trump’s back in hopes of some kind of soothing attempt.
“It’s nothing…” Trump spoke nothing but falsehoods as if they were truths.
“That’s not what I think” He looked around the room, to see a pregnancy test lying nearby.
Trump widens as he sees what he is looking at and he tries to get his Biden babe to look away from the evidence of his shame.
“Who’s having a baby?”
Before Trump could lie his way into buying himself more time, but it was too late Biden was already walking over to the test. Biden goes up to the pregnancy test, picks it up, and brings it to his face then takes a huge sniff of the used test. He looked between Trump and the pissed-covered test over and over.
“I know your piss smell… this is your test.” Biden looked at him with wide eyes.
Trump blushes and looks away, his cover blown. He takes a step over, grabbing onto Trump by his shoulder. Biden shakes him before placing a hand on Trump’s stomach, feeling him up to see if he had a bump.
“Stop it” Trump whined, his hands up in the air as he held them up in fist and wiggled out of Biden’s arms.
“You're having my baby?” Biden slaps his knee as he smiles at him. He dropped to the ground as he rubbed Trump’s fat. Trump pouts as he looks down at Biden. He doesn’t really know if he’s the father. Only time will tell.
Cue a pregnancy montage of Biden getting excited and pampering an old man.
Trump was now barefoot and heavily pregnant, his man boobs tender and his feet swollen, and he’s pretty sure his nose got bigger which he hated for problem racist reasons. He struggled to get up more than usual and everything seemed to hurt. Trump does this usually, lying and tweeting on his favorite site. Twitter.com He was due any second.
Biden was just watching him intensely as if he was getting off and looking at his pregnant boyfriend. Trump pisses himself or whatever the male equivalent of his water breaking, Trump curls up in a ball as his ass clenches in pain. He lets out groans and tries to get up. Biden walks over to Trump and they go to the hospital.
Trump gets put into the maternity ward as he gets ready to give birth. Biden holds Trump's thick fingers. RuPaul is the doctor and he does drag magic to work Trump through his pregnancy.
“Wha-” RuPaul shushes him and shakes her head.
“Don’t say a word.”
Trump didn’t take any breathing exercises classes so he was out of breath and panting. He groans as RuPaul has the baby pop out from whichever hole you choose. There's a huge pop that makes Trump faint in pain as he sees white. He let out a pained moan and was panting as RuPaul.
RuPaul puts the baby on the ground and it glows and grows into Charlie Kurk. Everyone looks in and jumps jumpscares at his wide gummy smile. Biden frowns, this man looked nothing like him, besides his uncanny smile but that was it. Rupaul looked at Biden, using her psychic powers, to sense that the old geezer wanted something.
“We can do a paternity test?” RuPaul beamed for the drama as she said the suggestion and whispered to Biden who nodded. He nicks some of the blood of Charlie and runs off, Biden keeps Trump distracted while he gets some answers.
While Biden comforted Trump another person was being rolled into the room as another man gave birth. That person is Ben Shapiro he had just been in another room for delivery, as Steve Harvey who was handing them their baby boy Nick Fuentes. He was cuddling the grown baby in his arms just like Trump was doing with his man baby Charlie.
A loud crash could be heard, and everyone in the room looked over to see a (ugly) shiny Tesla truck, which had auto-piloted into the hospital window. Inside was Elon Musk. He ripped the cheap material off the door to escape the car and crawled out and out behind him was Andrew Tate. They run over to Ben to see him in his pregnant glow.
“Musky husky you came, And my Andy Bald man bear” Ben called out for his partners who came to see him. “Here look at your baby boy” Ben gestured to Andrew, who was the biological father because most of the time Elon just watched them both have sex because it was better than being involved.
“How did you get up here in that thing?” Trump asked weakly as he petted Charlie’s five-head.
No one answers and this is when RuPaul comes back and points between Trump and Biden. Papers in hand as she gasped.
“You are not the father!” The room goes silent and Trump’s face contorts with shock, Biden has a pissed look on his face.
“Who's the father?” Biden asked, feeling like he already knew the answer.
“Kim Jong-un” She hands Biden the paper that Trump tries to grab, but only results in dropping his child-man on the floor and getting out of breath.
"It's a lie, propaganda to make me look bad.” Trump squints out as he lies, and Biden rolls his eyes before snatching Trump’s toupee off and throwing it across the room.
Biden is heartbroken, he wants to know every detail even if it would make him feel even worse. He needs to know, when did he slip away to cheat on him, how could he be so blind to miss it… does he need glasses? How many times did he let other men fuck him, raw no less? How long was it happening? Did he cross borders to get fucked? Are they sleeping together in their shared bed? Was it on the same night he fucked Trump.
“You're a slut, a whore that can’t help but be greedy. I know we're all terrible politicians and we have all cheated on our wives but for you to cheat on me is a new low.” Biden held back tears.
Things were going wild and chaos was going on. When they settle down for a moment, Trump tries to deflect by inviting his roommate and his partners in the white white. Once they all get to the white house Biden and Trump start fighting again. Ben was taking care of his son Nick and Charlie were playing together. Everything starts going wild as Elon watches everything with an aroused interest.
Then red lights flash around them, someone was setting off nukes and it triggered the alarm. Trump looks at his phone and curses, as he sees an angry text from another one of his exes.
“Heard you had a kid with another man, even though you were supposed to be getting back with me. So the treaty is over.” He read the text. WTF
Everyone here was going to die all because Trump gave up some ass a while back to a possessive dictator.
The Whitehouse blows up and everyone dies, all the states get hit and America goes bye-bye.
The end.