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“Y/n, remember life will greet you with happiness one day.” he muttered softly as he stared at you with his softly glinted eyes. Joshua was a patient you've met during my days in the children’s ward. You were admitted to the hospital due to a recent accident you encountered. Joshua was admitted to the hospital ever since young. You’ve never asked about his buried wounds but he would always be seen with an oxygen mask around his face. Joshua - a name known by many because he was the longest-staying patient in our ward and everyone had pitied him.
Although he had been through worse, Joshua was the one who approached you first. Upon your first night at the hospital, you were labelled as that hard headed and arrogant young lady. You refused help from others and tended to hiss away at the nurses which ultimately caused a big ruckus around the ward. Nurses were afraid to perform their duties to see you, and finally due to your behavioural issues, you were eventually drivened into the corner of the ward, aka the last bed at the very end of the hall. Though reluctant, at long last you gave in to their critics and decided that moving there might be the best for me since you would much rather prefer to be left alone.
Things eventually took a turn as you packed my stuff to walk over to my new bed, where I had my first encounter with Joshua. Even though you were cheerless due to the changes they’ve made, but you were soon greeted by a fluttering wave of warmth. As the moment you laid eyes on Joshua, it felt like time had stopped. He had a pair of expressive eyes, soft and genuine smile and his slightly noticeable dimples, it was a first to be this detailed coming from a person like you. He was staring out at the window, because the trees had finally bloomed. The sun cascaded down upon him like it was a paid actor, you were utterly mesmerised by his face card. Albeit old memories, they can still freshly resurface with a vivid clarity. After glancing out, he turned his attention to you, locking eyes as he gave me a killer smile. That was your first encounter and it had definitely fluttered my stone-cold heart, however you pretended not to waver and made your way to your spot. “Tch..” you muttered softly, a goddess like him was staying at the opposite of you? You’ll be dead waking up to such a lethal smile everyday. Undoubtedly, that was wherey our friendship had begun. Just like the blooming trees, so did your relationship bloomed. You guys were like two peas in a pod, inseparable, no matter what happened you’d be by each other's side. And because of that, our level of understanding each other grew more profound.
You soon learnt that he was the only child in the family who spends the majority of his time here. His parents were too busy to make ends meet as they had to pay his medical bills. Some days he felt like a burden to people, but to you it felt like a blessing. Whereas, you was developing frequent faints and periodic depression which ultimately lead yourself to become suicidal. Tragedy struck when your parents decided to go separate ways and never meet again. But because of their selfishness, they’ve turned guilty, afraid of seeing you. In spite of that because of Joshua, you’ve come to turn over a new bud.
“Joshua, you’re weird….” you mumbled while munching on my afternoon snack in your bed. “How so?” He was reading a book while sipping on English tea. “How old are you to be liking bland and bitter food?” you squinted my eyes and moved forward towards his face while keeping your mouth busy with your cookies. “Are you an old man in disguise?” He immediately flicked your head away from his and continued sipping on his tea. “Just because I’m the same age doesn't mean I’m as immature as you.” he retorts. “Plus, I’m not fond of sweet things. Please get that plate away from me.” He pushed that tray a bit further to the edge of the table and you grumbled to his actions. Because of that you’ve never relished my cookie cravings in front of him anymore nor did you ever show my weird side to him to prevent him from grumbling and whining over you. But, you’ve come to learn that Joshua’s like an old man, full of wisdom and less of a child. He isn’t really much of a fan of sweets, prefer bland and tasteless food, and he likes coffees and teas. What a weirdo! Though you still love him as a friend.
Joshua was the one that taught you to be more empathetic, to forgive and forget as it was natural for humans to hurt one another. Though you didn't buy it at first, you eventually gave in to his lectures and listened. We’d always talk about life on the highest floor of the hospital, wishing for a bright future ahead of us as we’ve suffered enough history as a child. But it felt weird as days went by, Joshua started wishing me well more and more. “Y/n, you’re my best friend you know? He muttered leaning against the railings of the highest building while you stared at him worriedly. “Joshua, what do you mean?” you cracked a small smile to avoid making him worry. He chuckled and gave you a smile. “I mean what I said.” At first you thought his conditions would worsen, but it has gotten better day by day.
With a hearty smile, you ran up towards our usual spot, and greeted Joshua. “Hey, what's with you, you’ll always wait for me.” You yelled on top of your lungs for Joshua to notice. He chuckled and walked towards me, “I got you your favourite, cookies with a side of milk.” You stared around to see a table behind him with cookies stacked on a dessert tray. He extended his hand out for you to hold onto and lead you towards that table. He was being such a tease, for once in life he was being a gentleman, usually he’d make fun of your weird likings, but this time it’s his first to ever fulfil my wishes. I sat down happily, and had a lovely afternoon with Joshua, before snacking on it Joshua muttered softly, “Hey, look… I’m sorry for grumbling over your stupid cravings okay… enjoy those cookies as much as you want in front of me,.. I won’t judge.” He said that with his head turned away from you and his left arm on his neck, he was embarrassed. You giggled at his talk and because of that he slept early that night to get rid of those embarrassing feelings, leaving you with no one to converse with.
You felt energetic after those cookies, because of that you left your bed and walked around the ward, it was your first time actually venturing deep in as you happily skipped around, you suddenly overheard a small conversation. “That kid… Joshua? He’s quite cute and funny.” One nurse giggled. “Oh, don’t laugh at him, he’s just trying to resemble his parents, bland and tasteless food because it reminded him of his mother’s cooking. Morning coffee or tea to resemble his dad, not too much sweets because his mum always nags his dad, lastly, reading books to resemble his parents for reading the morning news, keeping themselves up to date.” Another nurse implied. “Poor boy, I bet he misses his parents, considering they never came.”
After that incident, you’ve learnt that all his actions have meanings to it, he was observant, observing everyone’s moves carefully. He’d always guess what you had to say in mind, or what you wanted. He’d be the first to all your thoughts, can he read minds? You wonder, but you doubt that’d be true. You still remember how Joshua knew you were clumsy and would always cover those sharp areas whenever you laid in his bed, hoping you wouldn’t hurt myself. And how he’d always notice your subtle eye twitches, always knew when you got nervous, when you’d get mad. Worst part is, he always knew the solutions to all of your problems. Is he a saint now.. you wonder.
Days were tough till you met Joshua, the unconditional love that you once craved for in my aching heart was filled with the radiant warmth of Joshua. Nonetheless, as the saying goes all good things must come to an end. Which was when your mum decided to visit you in the hospital after months of avoiding you. Though your aching heart was jubilant to know, it slowly turned into hatred as you realised that she wants you home. She came to the hospital only to admit you back. With that, you sprinted up to tell Joshua of what had happened. “Why now?” You yelled, infuriated. “I don't wanna lose my happiness now that I’ve got it.” as you talked you could feel piles of hatred were burning through the back of your throat.
The talk ended nowhere as Joshua being his empathetic self kept defending your mum. Yea part of what he said was true but, you don’t wish to go, now that you’ve found a friend. “At least she’s ready to start over y/n, don't be distraught, I’ll always be here, I promise”. “Are you sure, what if one day you disappear, or even leave without noticing me?” You stared at him with teary eyes not wanting to leave. “I won’t go anywhere y/n, I’m practically stuck here forever.” he gave his signature grin, with a peace sign this time. “...” the cat caught your tongue this time. You gave him the last reassuring smile before we all part ways.
The scene where you’ve never wished for it to come. Standing by the gates of the hospital grounds, one more step and you’ll truly be an outsider now. You turned back once more to stare at Joshua, he's there. Bidding you farewell, he was standing at the front doors of the children’s ward, waving to me with an everlasting smile. It gave me a sense of warmth, before truly leaving, you yelled loudly. “Joshua, I’ll come back!” With that, his smile grew wider and you left with a reassuring heart. It felt like you were the only one who had a ghost of a smile.
My schooling days came back already, you were forced to go back to school and study with the others. Once again, alone in the corner without anyone, you wished for Joshua to be here. Though it was all normal, the feeling of being at the ward was definitely different and better compared to being at school. So many different people yet none came to familiarise themselves with me. Nonetheless, you couldn’t care less. Your monthly allowance was saved to meet Joshua. Finally, you had enough, you stared at your timetable and plotted your greatest plan to meet him.
Liar. Ultimately, his white lies were discovered by you. On that specific afternoon, you skipped Wednesday's cram school to visit Joshua. You’ve saved up enough for the bus fare and hopped onto the nearest bus in school to his hospital. Throughout the whole ride, jubilant thoughts were the only thing running through your little mind. At your final stop, you ran down the bus and made my way to the hospital as quickly as you could. You panted as you said his name to the receptionist. “Oh dear….” the receptionist gave me a worried look as she realised who you were and whom you were looking for.
Even so, she told me the ward number and left you to venture the grounds alone. You walked with your school uniform feeling out of place among the seas of kids in their gowns. These hallways reminded you of my times with Joshua. Without further ado, you barged into the ward proudly and saw that his ward was covered by the separation blinds. You ran towards it and yanked the blinds away. “Joshua!” you yelled loudly, only to be called crazy as everyone else stared down at you. Your eyes hurt, it ached to see an empty bed.
For once, his bed was empty and tidied, with his patient gown stacked on top of his bed. Waves of nostalgia clicked back as it reminded you of the first time you met Joshua, the same golden light he was once drenched in, the same breeze except this time it was a breeze laced with whispers. The window was open, flower petals slowly drift down, it felt like they were mourning for him too. You stared down at his bed “Shua…” You muttered softly as tear stains made their way to the floor tiles, you were really gone. Your heart ached, he lied, deceived, and coaxed. You regretted my actions, you regretted leaving, you regretted everything. "I should’ve come earlier, I should’ve screwed saving up for another bus fare to go back home." because now you’ve lost the one you loved the most.