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I sighed again. If anyone had told me I’d end up in the same situation, I would’ve laughed in their face. What were the odds, really? I mean, how likely was it that, just after a heartbreak, I would meet someone in a convenience store, that person would become my best friend, just like my previous crush had, then I’d fall for them, thinking they might like me back, only to end up being delusional just like last time? And then, to top it off, they’d reject me in the exact same way because, surprise, surprise, they were in love with someone else? A friend, no less. Someone who was probably better than me in every way.
Fate was cruel. I couldn’t help but laugh bitterly at how pathetic it all was. Maybe it was my fault. Maybe I had been stupid to think things would be different with Nukumizu. I had always told myself that he was different from Sosuke—because, well, he was different. He treated me like no one else had, cared for me in ways that were so genuine, stuck by my side without hesitation, and let me do things with him I’d never done with any other guy. He was everything I had wanted from a friend. Our friendship felt special—I was sure of it. But in the end, what did it matter? It was the same story. I was just his friend. Nothing more. Nothing at all.
“You should go to her,” I said, breaking the silence that had settled between us. We were sitting in the same convenience store where it all started three years ago. It felt like a cruel joke, a twist of fate that had me here again, with a different person but the same pain.
I could see the hesitation on his face. Nukumizu wasn’t sure whether to leave me or not. He didn’t want to leave me hanging, the way he had found me three years ago—lost and broken. I could see it in his eyes. He was a kind person. Too kind. He wanted to make sure I was okay, but I knew what he needed to do. And if there was one thing I’d learned in the last few years, it was that sometimes, you had to let go.
I smiled, trying my best to reassure him. “Really, I’m fine, Kazu,” I said, deliberately dropping the honorifics. It felt strange, but somehow freeing. In my mind, we didn’t need to be formal anymore. I had called him by his name countless times in my head. But up until now, he’d always kept the distance, always calling me “Yanami” never dropping the honorifics.
And now, here I was, finally realizing the truth: he didn’t see me as anything more than a friend. The honorifics were his way of keeping that wall between us. I had been fooling myself, thinking there was something more to it. I had been delusional.
Taking a deep breath, I tried to keep my composure. “Lemon-chan is waiting for you. The competition’s about to start. You can take my bike,” I said, tossing him the keys.
But then I stopped myself. I paused, my hand still hanging in the air with the keys. How pathetic. How stupid. I was just repeating everything I had done three years ago. Nothing had changed. Not a damn thing.
“I’m sorry, Anna,” Nukumizu said, using my name this time. The words hit me hard, just like they had all those years ago when Sosuke had said the same thing. It was like we had come full circle. I watched him grab the keys and rush off, just as I had rushed off after Sosuke. The irony of it all was overwhelming. They were so different, yet here I was, in the same place. In the same situation.
I sighed again as I walked up to the cashier to pay for my items. At least, at least, this time I remembered my money. Thank God for small mercies. Because this time, there would be no one around to bail me out if I forgot. Or so I thought, until I froze in place.
I didn’t have any money.
Panic hit me like a truck. My heart started racing as my mind scrambled to come up with a solution. What was I supposed to do now? Should I call someone? I was about to dial a number when the cashier interrupted me.
“The boy who was here just now already paid for you,” she said, smiling. “He told me you’d probably forget your money, so he made sure to pay in advance. Your boyfriend is really sweet. You should keep him.”
Boyfriend?
I forced a smile, but it felt so hollow. She was wrong. It wasn’t like that. But everyone always thought it was. My friends, the people around us—they all assumed we were together. And in some ways, I had let myself believe it too. But in my heart, I knew the truth. It felt so painful now to hear it out loud.
“He’s not actually my boyfriend,” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. It wasn’t a bragging statement. Not anymore. Just the harsh reality.
“I’m sorry, I just thought…” The cashier trailed off, looking embarrassed. “Well, he seemed like he really took care of you. I guess I just assumed.”
I nodded. That part was true. Nukumizu had always been considerate, always looking out for others. That’s what made him so popular with the girls. And I wasn’t immune to it. At first, I thought maybe he was treating me differently, that maybe there was something special between us. But in the end, that was just me being delusional. He wasn’t treating me any differently than he treated anyone else. He was just that kind of person. A kind person.
After I left the convenience store, I walked aimlessly, unsure of where I was going. Every corner, every street, seemed to remind me of him. Of everything we’d shared. It was insane how I hadn’t realized how much he had meant to me until now. Until I didn’t have him anymore. But then I remembered that old saying: You never realize how much someone means to you until they’re gone.
It was a cliché, but it wasn’t true for me. I had always known. I had known the moment I met him. At first, some might have thought he was just a rebound. I didn’t think that, though. I never did. I liked him. From the start. Sure, not in the way others might think. Not romantically. But there was something there. Maybe it was what people called oppositional attraction. Whatever it was, I felt it.
I kept walking, lost in thought, until I realized I was standing outside the school. The bell had rung; classes had ended. But a few students lingered around for club activities. Since I was a third-year, I didn’t really have to stick around, but part of me wondered if I could find someone from the Literature Club to talk to.
No. I stopped myself. What if they asked about Nukumizu? I didn’t want to answer any questions. I wasn’t ready for that kind of attention. I didn’t want to explain. I needed silence, peace.
So, I turned away from the building and headed to the old emergency stairs. It used to be just me and him. But over time, the other girls from the Literature Club had started joining us. Thankfully, it was only Komari, Lemon, and Nukumizu who came regularly. And none of them were around today, so it felt safe to be there alone.
I was almost at the top, just about to step onto the final ladder, when I saw him.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, surprised. “I thought you went to see Lemon-chan compete at the nationals?”
“I did,” Nukumizu said, carefully avoiding my real question.
“Then why aren’t you with her?” I snapped, feeling the frustration welling up in me. “I mean, I’d be pissed if my boyfriend didn’t stay with me during something so important.”
I couldn’t help it. I was angry, annoyed. Just because I’d been dumped didn’t mean we weren’t still friends. He had no right to treat Lemon-chan like this.
“I think you misunderstood, Anna" Nukumizu said, his voice quiet. “I’m not dating Yakishio. I went there to support her. I promised her I would.”
I blinked. He used my real name. That was different. It felt… strange.
“Okay,” I said, though I didn’t know how to process what he had just said. “You’re really dense, you know? You can’t just mess with girls' feelings like that.”
“I wasn’t,” he insisted. “I was never interested in dating Yakishio. I just wanted to keep my promise. You misunderstood.”
“Oh,” was all I managed to say.
We stood there for a moment, silence hanging between us. And suddenly, the air between us felt heavier. I couldn’t keep pretending. It was now or never.
Without thinking, I blurted it out. “Please, be my boyfriend.”
And in that same breath, he said the same thing.
“Please, go out with me.”