Chapter Text
Byakuya
Normally I don’t feel the way I’m feeling now. My heart was racing and my mind was set on one thing, one person. It felt…weird. This wasn’t something I had felt before, was I sick? Some part of me hoped I was sick, that would explain the awkwardness I felt around her, Kyoko of all people.
It started in the Future Foundation workplace, that’s when I started feeling these unusual symptoms. The feeling of want around Kirigiri, she was nothing more than a detective and yet I was feeling this way around her. I could put my finger on it, just the way she moved around and was quick to solve any problem that came her way made my knees buckle and my heart beat in rankings I had never seen before. Was this what it was like to feel in love? If so, I hated it. But…but I also loved it. That’s the problem, I don’t know how to deal with these emotions. Especially when Kyoko was so close to Makoto.
Every time they were holding hands, or heaven forbid existing together, I felt like grinding my teeth together and balling my hands into fists. It’s not like I could stop how they feel, I wasn’t going to. But it hurt knowing I could only admire the one I was starting to fall for from afar. Would she even take me if Makoto wasn’t in the picture?
Unlikely. Largely due to what happened during the killing game, memories of how I had treated Kirigiri flooded through my mind and constantly reminded me of my doubts on her knowledge of the situation. I distrusted her, she had a right not to reciprocate how I felt.
So as much as I hated it, I had to suck it up and live with the fact that Kyoko and I would never mesh in a relationship. She has Makoto after all, my opinion on this situation hardly matters anymore. I’ll have to live with watching the two from afar, wishing I was Naegi.
Was this how Fukawa felt? I hate it, and I hate this.