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weheldhandssowhatarewe?

Summary:

She yearns for something more (but maybe it's better things stay the way they are).

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

When the lights are off, the television being the only source of illumination in the living room, the world feels a whole lot smaller.

Rin cannot help but be drawn to Len’s side, cannot help but be selfish and want him, and only him.

But things are safe as is. Things are stable as is. Everything is how it should be, it’s meant to be, she tells herself over and over again, in a vain attempt to silence her heart that sings out for more.

It’s awful of her to be seeking his shoulder for comfort, knowing for him it’s a platonic gesture, but for her it means something that goes beyond. It’s dirty, almost, the way her heart flutters, as he settles beside her on the couch, as he allows her to thread her fingers through his.

But if she keeps these thoughts and feelings to herself, she can enjoy this microcosm a little longer—before the lights come on and her secrets are laid bare, before he shatters her delusion with the reality that all they will be, and ever will be, is friends.

That’s okay. To have a friend is better than having nothing at all.

Notes:

all I wanna do is write rinlen fanfic but whenever i sit down and try, nothing comes out or the words all sound bad or whatever, so instead here i am writing from real life experiences to try and kill the writer's block (yes, yes, i know, im a loser, im very aware!!!!!)

anyway - the point of this was. not that len doesn't like rin back. or that they should stay as friends, or date, or whatever. it's just exploring the concept that rin doesn't really know how len feels - and maybe that's worse than knowing for sure. but she's also too afraid of breaking the illusion.