Chapter Text
“What the hell am I supposed to do!?” Ranko said as soon as she reached the kitchen, “Kasumi, can you believe that-”
“That she saw a boy and a girl and made an assumption?” Kasumi sighed, “I'm sorry, Ranko-chan, but yes, I can believe it.”
“What's it like being ‘Ranma's’ girlfriend, ‘Akane’?” Nabiki giggled as she sat by the countertop casually.
Ranko felt that odd sickness again. “... Can you not call either of us either of those names? You know who we are…”
A look was shared between the two Tendou sisters for a moment, one that read like a conversation onto itself. One could practically hear the unspoken ‘Oh my’ from Kasumi, and there was a series of calculations clearly running through Nabiki’s mind.
“So, you worked it out?” Nabiki asked far too casually, “You both really don't wanna be called those names any more?”
And that question, on top of everything else, hit Ranko like a punch to the gut. It was simple, easy even, to respond either way. So why did it feel like being called Ranma at all would be torture? And why did it feel like Akataro would be the same with his name situation?
Hell, even hearing her boyfriend get called Akane kind of pissed Ranko off. It just didn't feel right anymore, not while remembering that boy's vivid smile. The name had become almost cut off from all positive memories associated with it, it was Akataro that reminded Ranko of sakura mochi, of the light at the end of the Chardin incident, of sneeze induced hugs, love potion pills, being saved from eternal weakness, of the first friend Ranko had in Nerima.
“... Yeah. Yeah, they feel wrong.” There was an odd relief to saying it out loud.
Kasumi didn't respond with words, not initially. Instead, Ranko found her small frame nearly crushed by the sisterly embrace of the much taller girl. “Congratulations on finally making it here, my future sister-in-law. You're safe from that wrong name, I promise you.”
The title of sister-in-law felt comfortable. It felt sweet and cute and just right for Ranko, like how ‘girlfriend’ did whenever Akataro called her it. It wasn't manly at all. It wouldn't suit anyone like Ranma supposed to be, it was just perfectly Ranko.
“Hate to burst the adorable bubble,” Interrupted Nabiki, “But we can't promise that, not with Ranko's mum here. Unless, of course, we want a lovebird kebab on a katana.”
♡♡♡♡
“Sorry, m-mum,” Akataro tried to speak up, “Can I just discuss something with dad and my uncle alone?”
None of the adults seemed to have heard him.
Being dragged into the living space was one thing. Forcing him to sit through a conversation that he couldn't join was another. And talking about him as if he was all the worst parts of his girlfriend, the parts that genuinely went away every time she was Ranko? Yeah, Akataro was experiencing the torture of a lifetime.
As if today hadn't been enough already. It'd been ten since Akataro's actual mother died, he had a cruel dream about her, he'd been harassed by the world's worst oompa loompa, he straight up told his girlfriend he basically never wanted to be a girl again… And here was a woman who believed he was her son, all while Nodoka’s daughter was right there, a few rooms over.
“And then there was the ice-skating contest! Ranma and Akane completely destroyed those two!” Genma boasted as Akataro was forced to hear his life regurgitated back at him in warped form
“Ice-skating? That isn't exactly manly…” Nodoka’s fingers seemed to constantly be sneaking back towards that damn katana, again and again.
“It was against a boy and girl, though, it was fair!” Genma panicked while Soun kept crying at the whole situation, “A-and to defend Akane, of course!”
The kimono clad woman hummed to herself, once again no longer reaching towards her weapon. “Defending his fiancee, that is quite manly. I suppose it balances it out.”
Akataro really didn't like how he and his girlfriend were being portrayed here, as some model examples of the genders they were supposed to be. It was fortunate how many beatings this table experienced, or the dents in it from the boy's harsh grip would actually stand out. This was cruel and unusual punishment for no reason.
“So, Ranma,” Nodoka actively turned to who she thought was her son, “When did you pick up kendo? It's quite an impressive form of the art, even if some men don't think so.” There was slight venom directed towards Genma.
“Uh, a few weeks ago? I've known some of the skills my whole life, but really, it was due to Ran-” Akataro hoped his slip up wasn't noticeable, “... Akane. Akane started martial arts cheerleading, and she needed someone to cheer on.”
The warped reality where an obnoxious pigtailed jerk made an awkward angry tomboy cheer for him felt like a nightmare waiting to come to him. The name he kind of hoped to discard felt putrid and acidic on his tongue.
“Oh, how charming and manly of you!” Nodoka praised Akataro before turning towards Soun, “And perhaps Akane does have a feminine side I just haven't seen yet. I'm sure she's a lovely girl.”
“Y-yes, my little princess…” Soun whimpered through his ongoing tears.
Akataro, meanwhile, just had been dealt three patience-shattering blows.
Standing up somehow both shakily and confidently, Akataro grabbed both of the dads by their shirt collars. “I'm sorry, but I need to talk to these two, man to man to man,” Akataro mockingly emphasised the gender concerns, “We'll be right back.”
Despite the complaints from both dads, Akataro managed to take the two grown men into the first open door he saw and hold them up against the wall. “You two need to listen up and listen closely. You. Do not. Get to show me off like some macho man trophy like this.”
“B-but it's for my surv- I mean, the boy and I’s survival!” Genma sputtered out.
“What about my baby girl, Saotome!?” Soun cried, “She's here, pretending to be some-”
Akataro dropped the two to the floor. “I'M A BOY, DAD! I am a boy! And you?” He pointed out of pure adrenaline at Genma, “Your DAUGHTER is my girlfriend! And we've kissed, and we've actually had functional conversations, and we've been better off as a couple like this than whatever kind of horror show your attempt at an arranged marriage was, and you just have to deal with it, especially once this mess is over with!”
“My… My daughter?” Genma looked behind Akataro for no reason, apparently.
“Yes, your daughter! Her name is Ranko, and she writes it like ‘Storm Girl’ to sound cooler, and it was the dumbest name choice ever but it's her name and I wouldn't change her for the world!” The boy gave another strong accusatory glance at the bald man, “And if you dare let her get hurt by your own actions, then I will probably have to get arrested for making sure pandas are an endangered species.”
The sound of a plate hitting the floor behind him immediately grabbed Akataro's attention. Turning around, the culprit was a very shocked and flustered Ranko, a tea towel in hand as if she was supposed to be washing dishes. She looked practically frozen still.
Nabiki waved her hand in front of the frozen girl's face, to no response. “Welp, little brother, you've interrupted her vent session and probably broke her as well as the plate. Good job, very efficient.”
“... Ranko?” Akataro could feel the blush growing on his face as he realised what he just said in front of everyone.
♡♡♡♡
*He. I. Woah. I'm. He just. He said it. He told them. He just. Wow. And Pops isn't yelling at me, and, and… Woah*
*... Heheheh, he called me his girlfriend in front of everyone… Oh damn. He called me his girlfriend in front of EVERYONE. Not that it was a secret, but… That's making me feel things. Hehehehehe… That's right, suckers! Ranko Saotome, girlfriend to Akataro Tendou! I'm all his and… And I'm just going to try and not follow THAT train of thought. Nope. Nuh uh. Ew.*
Ranko was still staring directly at the boy, no actual response as her brain tried to process all of today. She had just been gossiping with the other girls in the house about how she even got to this point, how the whole cheerleading thing led to being swept up in this fantasy of… She couldn't even say. It felt too real in the moment that she almost forgot she was not always just Ranko.
Almost. The stabby woman in the living room made being a boy hard to forget.
“Uh… Girl?” Ranko's dad spoke up from where he'd been dropped on the floor by Akataro, “Girl. Focus!”
*HE CALLED ME A GIRL, AND FOR THE RIGHT REASON!*
“... Son, I think you might need to check on your fiancee before I ask any questions,” Soun addressed to his youngest child, tears welling up again, “I… I can't believe I had a boy all this time, my wonderful boy!”
It was Akataro who practically froze next, having apparently not expected such a positive response. But while his eyes spun in confusion, Ranko had her eyes directly set on him. As soon as she could pry herself free from the mental trappings holding her in place, she leaped over the broken plate and wrapped her arms around Akataro.
“Thank you… Thank you so much, you handsome, amazing idiot,” Ranko spoke with all the love in the world, “Can I… Y'know…?”
The second Akataro nodded, Ranko pulled him down so she could properly kiss him on the lips. He didn't need much time to fully follow along, either. Just the two of them, holding each other close and-
“Oh my…” Kasumi reminded the teens that they weren't exactly alone in the room, causing them to quickly break apart, embarrassed.
“Yeah, that was cute and sappy and stuff,” Nabiki remarked, “But can the power of love fight the power of stabbing?”
“Right, right,” Genma stood up, “Maybe I could find some loophole. Girl! Come with me, and bring… Whatever his name is now with you.”
“He's Akataro,” Ranko smiled, “It's the dumbest name choice ever, but it's his. I wouldn't change him for the world.”
“And I'm gonna get something savoury real quick,” chimed in Nabiki again, “This is all too sickly sweet.”
♡♡♡♡
“So… Nodoka, sweetie, honey, my love-”
Genma was shut up with a sword pointed at his face. “What is it? Get to the point.”
“Well, I was just wondering, hypothetically, about that contract,” The bald man was clearly sweating hard, “Would it still hold up if, again, hypothetically, we had a daughter instead? As in, Ran- uh, you know, was a girl at heart?”
Akataro had Ranko wrapped up in his arms as the two watched in horror. This could go right, or it could go horribly wrong, and it was all up to an awful conman to pull it off. A conman who clearly wasn't a fan of swords.
“Why would you worry about that?” Nodoka practically laughed, “You know how much I wanted a son, you clearly did too, and there he is, as manly as ever.”
“Yes, but I was thinking how the c-contract specifically said ‘son’, so if we had a daughter instead, then-”
“Then you would have failed,” Nodoka tried to swing the katana back behind her, but failed to hold on, sending it flying just mere inches away from Akataro's chest and Ranko's head, “Oh! Sorry, Ranma and Akane! Are you alright?”
Both teens nodded, despite their held breaths and rapidly beating hearts. They were very much not alright.
“... Aaaaanyway, I'm going to go and, uh, do something else,” Genma excused himself outside while grabbing a glass of water, “Bye Ranma, bye Akane!”
The bastard was a panda and out of Nodoka’s view before anyone could get a word in.
“Son, you might want to take Akane to her room,” Nodoka hummed at Akataro, “She seems pale as a ghost, the poor girl.”
“... R-Right, okay.” Akataro couldn't have thought of a worse way for this to go, at least not without it getting bloody. But what he could do was guide Ranko away from here. Upstairs, into the room with the wrong name written on the door.
The black haired girl flopped on to her boyfriend's bed, absolutely some kind of exhausted. She was almost unblinking, fair for a girl who's emotional roller-coaster of a day ended with a threat to her life. Akataro was tempted to just lie down, too, hardly doing any better. Unfortunately, again, his bed was taken.
“... Hugs?” Ranko asked plainly, reaching her arms out, “Please?”
If Akataro was thinking clearly, he'd probably be a flustered mess, even while agreeing. However, he was just done with today and needed the comfort as much as Ranko did. He grieved, he chose to stay a boy, he had his life threatened and his identity toyed with. Akataro was happy with simple, calm, loving rest.
He lied down next to his girlfriend, letting her cuddle in close. Somehow, in this mess of a day, things now felt a gentle kind of mundane. Not normal, just mundane. Nice, calm, like two teens in love were supposed to be at times like this. Not a threat in sight.