Actions

Work Header

Scoobfuck 5000 Yolo

Summary:

Hey, this is a gift for my friend and his questionable taste. If any of my normal readers see this, you can read it if you want, but I would not suggest it.

Happy belated birthday Harvey I hope you... enjoy(?) this.
Also, fuck you for making me write this. /lh

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

If you asked Kermit how he had ended up bent over the coffee table in his living room with a dog’s cock up his Muppet hole, he wouldn't know what to tell you.

Everything has happened so fast and he wasn't sure where to begin.

Ever since Kermit had become sentient by the will of corporate greed to cut out the puppeteers from show business, he's always wondered what a knot felt like.

Sure, he was dating Miss.Piggy and they had a healthy sex life, but there was only so much you could do with two Muppet holes and felt arms.

He loved her, he did, but Kermit wanted more.

Of course being a Family Friendly puppet Host of a famous tv series made expanding his sex life… challenging.

For one he was a Muppet, made with felt and the bare necessities of robot parts to do his gags while still maintaining his Muppetness. He had an AI preprogrammed with all of the shows and movies the original character Kermit was in was written into all his memories.

For another, not a lot of people would want to have sex with a Muppet at all, except chasers if they even existed for muppets (but let's be real he's seen rule 64 he knows what's out there). After all, he was all felt and his only orifice was a Muppet hole where a hypothetical puppeteer could stick their hand up there.

He didn't even have erogenous nerves!

And yet the first episode of the muppets had been called Sex and Violence for a reason so his sexual thoughts were just as true to his original written counterpart as any.

Of course contractually, as property of a Family Friendly Corporation he wasn't supposed to be having sex at all, for all the jokes about his and Miss.Piggy’s sex lives the public wasn't supposed to know sentient muppets were out there lusting after people.

He groaned as he felt Scooby’s cock slide in and out of him, pleasure scattering across his felt. “Ah… S-Scooby, right there”

He and Scooby met by happenstance and as a cartoon come to life he wasn't supposed to have sex either, his audience was just as young as Kermit's.

They had a whirlwind romance, clandestine meetings and secret letters, they kept in contact, and the relationship became physical. Surprisingly they were very compatible, and the rest, as they say, is history.

Scooby thrusts deep inside, scattering sensations as his insides are fucked open, his weak felt arms clutch at the bed beneath him, to no avail as Scooby continues to slam mercilessly into him.

“roh… rermit, rou reel ro rood! retting re rearrange rour rinsides, ruck rou reel rood, rou rucking rutty rog.”

Kermit clenched around Scooby, the arousal rushing through him at the dirty talk. Scooby was the only one who would be so vulgar with him. “Uh, oh… Scooby!” He’s scrambling to try to exorcize the overwhelming sensation.

Kermit gasped as he felt Scooby's knot starts to catch on his stretched hole, he lets out a whine as Scooby growls in his ear. “I’m going to knot you, Kermet, fucking cum in you and mark you and make you mine!”

Kermit keened “Scooby! Fuck! Breed me!”

With several damning hard thrusts, Scooby’s knot pushing in and tugging out, it finally expands to its full size, filling Kermit deliciously as he clenched down hard, feeling himself overcome with pleasure as he followed after Scooby, pushed over by the sensation of cum filling him up.

Scooby collapses on top of him, letting out a bestial whine. It's a good thing Kermit doesn't have lungs as Scooby drops his full weight down on Kermit.

“Fuck, that was so good, Kermit you were so good!”} Scooby groans in his ear.

“Thank you Scooby, you were really good too, I'll be aching for a week.” Kermit chuckles lightly.

Suddenly they hear the front door open and both tense.

“Who’s that!?” Scooby whispers urgently.

“The only ones who have a key are my technicians and Miss. Piggy!” He wasn't sure who would be worse to see if they opened the door on paper Miss. Piggy lived with him, in reality, they both had separate apartments.

“Oh Kermy~! I'm home my beloved!” Class Miss. Piggy as she pads down the hall.

“Oh shit!” Kermit whispers scrabbling to get out from under Scooby, Scooby tries to get up and moves to pull away only causing Kermit to hiss as he pulls where they're joined.

“Rorry Rermit,” Scooby says.

“Kermy! I've missed you! I saw your hat on the coat hanger! I know you're here!” The door to the one and only bedroom bursts open to reveal Miss. Piggy in her fabulous glory only to take in the scene of Scooby balls deep, knotted inside Kermit.

“Wh-wh-what!?” She squeals! “Kermy you no good cheating piece of shit!” Immediately she begins karate chopping them both. “HIiii-Yaaaa!! Hiiii-Yaaaaa! Hiiii-Yaaa!!!!”

Notes:

If for some reason that made you want to reach out... you can reach me here
My Tumblr
My Twitter
Discord
Nye5183
Email me prompts
[email protected]
Comments feed my motivation?