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about his shidi

Summary:

Ming Fan suggests to Shen Qingqiu that Luo Binghe takes on a specific mission meant to have the boy gone for a month, just so he doesn't have to look at Luo Binghe's face anymore.

Someone returns, but it isn't Luo Binghe.

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Work Text:

Luo Binghe was never Ming Fan’s most liked shidi, or even least liked. He didn’t like Luo Binghe much at all. The brat would always cause trouble for Shizun, and Ming Fan, ever the loyal disciple, would take care of it whenever Shizun demanded.

Shizun changed, however, suddenly doting on the brat, leaving Ming Fan out of favored view. Telling Ming Fan to not be so mean to Luo Binghe, to not give so many chores to the younger boy. That had been strange, upsetting. The usual dynamic between Master and Disciple shattered, leaving Ming Fan to feel rather forgotten. How did he drop from being Shizun’s most called upon disciple, to watching that bastard Luo Binghe skip his way into living with their Shizun!?

It just wasn’t fair. Not that he’s thought of living under Shizun’s roof before, but, that should be him!

It should be him tending to Shizun’s needs, trusted with Shizun’s paperwork, doted on, and seen as close with the man. What made his shidi so special? What had he done to cause Shizun to change so drastically?

Everyone says Shizun lost his memories after his qi deviation, but that still wouldn’t explain the sudden focus on Luo Binghe. Nothing ever arises to explain it, and Ming Fan is only left to accept he’s become more of a shadow.

Maybe the world is against him a little as well.

When Luo-shidi gets his sword–the sword Ming Fan himself had yearned for and spent many years thinking about–he feels the world is against him much more. Burning with envy, tossing in his bed for many nights. His shidi must have caught onto it too, it would explain how one day the bastard suddenly grew bold enough to show off Zheng Yang whenever he was nearby. It counted whenever Shizun was nearby as well!

In retaliation, Ming Fan had given Luo Binghe a mission that would hopefully take the younger boy a month to finish.

It’d be more accurate to say that Ming Fan suggested that his shidi take on the mission to Shizun. Shidi would be able to bond with his sword much closer on a mission. Or some other words he doesn’t remember clearly. Anything to convince Shizun that his shidi would be the best one to take on the mission, and then Ming Fan would be free from seeing Luo Binghe’s face or be mocked with Zheng Yang for a good month.

It took Luo Binghe only a week to return, much to the shock and surprise of everyone. He didn’t return with the horse he had ridden, however, claiming it died along the way. It wasn’t unusual for horses to end up dead, lost or injured when out on missions, so it was not to be questioned too much. Just send in the report to Shizun, then someone will send the report of the lost horse to An Ding Peak, who’d in turn check on the number of horses the sect had left, determine if they needed to replace a horse in the future or in the now, then that’d be the end of the day for anyone not on An Ding.

Luo Binghe turned in the report of his mission quickly within the first hour of his return, without Ming Fan seeing a single hair of the younger boy. In fact, he doesn’t catch sight of Luo Binghe for several days. Not in lessons, not practicing sword forms, nor doing chores. When he asks the others, they all point to someone he doesn’t remember, claiming that to be Luo Binghe.

This mysterious shidi is taller than Luo Binghe. Taller than Ming Fan. His hair isn’t that curly nest Luo Binghe has, instead straight, but still held together in a high tail with a ribbon–a black ribbon unlike his shidi’s green. He carries one of the standard swords, despite certainly being of age to receive a spiritual sword. Maybe none of the swords thought he was ready. When Ming Fan looks at him, he’s always grinning, teeth on display, and with a small wave of his hand.

The joke doesn’t land on Ming Fan very well, hardly funny and just a pain. He leaves his fellow martial siblings to giggle to themselves, because they’re surely giggling when he walks away. If Luo Binghe wishes to hide, that’s fine! He doesn’t want to really see his shidi anyway, nor does he wish to be mocked.

He only attempts to catch his shidi when there are chores for him that can not be shoveled onto anyone else any longer. His search starts at the bamboo house this time, no need to be pointed toward the joke of the peak, wasting his time.

When his shizun opens the door, he provides a small, and respectful greeting before getting to his point. “This disciple greets Shizun. He was wondering if Luo-shidi was present.”

Shen Qingqiu nods, a smile on his face. “You’ve actually good timing. He’s sick and needs someone to watch over him while this master visits your Shang-shishu. Urgent business.” The man looks back inside the house for three seconds, looking back to Ming Fan, eyes brighter as if a light bulb had lit up. Ming Fan wonders what exactly his shizun is thinking, but the next words put that wonder away instantly. “There really is no time to wait, so, please take care of your shidi for me.”

Shen Qingqiu does not allow Ming Fan time to question or attempt rejection. Already jogging pass the boy in a hurry one moment, then on Xia Ya and flying toward An Ding in another.

Ming Fan can only gaze in despair at his shizun’s rapidly vanishing form as it flies further and further. He didn’t want to stay and watch over his shidi, shizun! He would, of course, because he was given the duty to, and maybe it’d show his shizun he’s also very much still worth the attention. Slim chance really. The most likely result would be that when shizun returned, he’d pat Ming Fan on the back, thank him, and then coo over Luo Binghe.

Sighing loudly, Ming Fan turns to the opened door of the bamboo house, drags his feet inside, and closes the door behind him.

With the door closed, the house seems just a bit darker than when shizun had been inside it. He doesn’t think about it too hard. The light from outside was bathing the house in natural light of course, and it’s not dark enough he’d need night pearls. Taking a small step, Ming Fan calls out, “Shidi, Shizun has left and put me in charge.” in a tired tone. He wonders if this is where Luo Binghe has been the whole time, sick. It would have been helpful if all his other shidi and shimei had just told him so instead of playing jokes.

Luo Binghe does not answer. Instead, a low wailing sound plays from within the side room.

Like any good shixiong put under watch of his shidi, even if it was to his displeasure, Ming Fan takes careful steps to the room so he may investigate. If Luo Binghe is in pain, he should do good to see what he can do to ease it. For Shizun.

It’s just that, as Ming Fan gets closer to the door leading to the side room, the wailing increases in volume and sounds far from human. If he tried to pinpoint what exactly it sounded like, maybe a distressed wisp, something begging to get away.

Calling out in concern, voice low, possibly drowned out by the wails that have only increased in volume as Ming Fan got closer and closer to the door, now standing in front of it, and knocks. “Shidi?”

Abruptly, the wailing comes to a halt, as if his knock was the trigger to it. It is like the calls of birds, the soft patter of leafs falling to the ground, and the gentle breeze of wind whispering in passersby ears all coming to a sudden end. To an eerie silence. Ming Fan feels his body go on alert, his mind trying to rationalize with it that there is nothing to be so worried about. He is within Shizun’s home, the man was here only moments ago and nothing was amiss. If there were danger inside the bamboo house, Shizun would have detected it long before Ming Fan had made his way over, and he wouldn’t have left to An Ding while Qing Jing had an inside issue. Shizun most certainly would not have left Luo Binghe within the home either.

He stands there for several seconds, trying to reassure himself with those thoughts, to calm his senses.

They do not calm. They flare up instead, causing him to turn in rapid motion when they scream ‘DANGER’.

Behind him, the bamboo house seems to only have grown darker in the short time he stood in front of the side room’s door. Ming Fan does not know if there are curtains over the windows, he does not attempt looking at a window to try determining if there are. He’s too focused on the outline of someone taller than him–taller than Shizun–with too long arms, illuminated by bright red eyes.

Ming Fan reaches for a sword that isn’t there. Angles his feet in a way that has him prepared to sprint if he must.

He blinks.

The bamboo house is brighter than it was, and he can clearly see the figure now. The disciple he does not know stands before him with a concerned expression, yet the corners of his lips are turned upward. His figure is normal, he’s taller than Ming Fan, but not any taller than he was a few days ago. His arms are the appropriate length for a boy his age and structure.

“Dashixiong, are you alright?” The disciple questions softly, a step taken closer to Ming Fan, who in turn takes one back, hitting the door.

Ming Fan ignores the question. “Unless Shidi has Shizun’s permission to be inside, he should leave.”

“Dashixiong said Shizun put him in charge. It was to take care of this shidi and his sickness, right?”

“To take care of Luo-shidi.” Ming Fan corrects.

“To take care of me.” The Not Luo Binghe disciple says, pointing to himself, wearing that same grin with teeth he gives when the other disciples direct Ming Fan to him. Except, Ming Fan swears those teeth seem sharper than normal, like that of a predator.

The wailing starts up again, still within the room behind Ming Fan. It seems to be to Not Luo Binghe’s displeasure, his grin falling to an annoyed frown, huffing.

Hand moving slowly behind him, Ming Fan plans to open the door, go inside, and shut himself in. He does not have his sword, and he knows even if he did, it would be wrong to turn it on one of his own in the way he thinks he would if he did have it. However, the disciple does not feel like one of his own. Further strengthened by the eyes, the teeth, and the oddity of them. It will not be enough evidence however to justify attacking.

Putting on a stern tone, speaking carefully, Ming Fan questions the disciple, “Which shidi are you, exactly? This joke has gone on long enough, so you may as well tell now.”

The Not Luo Binghe does not answer, he stares at Ming Fan as if he is something of interest, something small under his view.

And Ming Fan does feel small, but he holds. He stares back. His hand slowly works the side room door open, the wailing inside much clearer when it is able to flow outside the growing exit way.

It feels like they stare at each other for an hour, Not Luo Binghe doesn’t even blink. Or maybe Ming Fan is blinking when the other does, he isn’t certain. Regardless, the disciple does not move when the door is opened enough that Ming Fan slowly backs into the room with the wailing noise. He does nothing when Ming Fan closes the day either, then nothing still, as Ming Fan stands at the door for several minutes, waiting for it to be forced open.

After what may have been ten minutes, but felt like an hour, Ming Fan backs away from the door. His focus changes to find the wailing, which does not prove hard to find at all.

Against the wall, next to Luo Binghe’s bed, rests Zheng Yang, the source of the wails. Ming Fan does not take a step toward it, only gazing in concern. For a sword to wail in such a way, something is very wrong. He knows that just by the strange disciple outside the room.

Sliding down the door, sitting on the ground, he continues gazing at Zheng Yang, listening to the wails and listening for any sound of movement outside the room.

He sits there for some time.

Ming Fan does not count the minutes as he sits, listening for sounds outside the room, and listening to the wails of Zheng Yang. Somewhere in the wait, Zheng Yang does cease its wails, the room gets dimmer.

There are no sounds outside the room.

Ming Fan waits longer.

Eventually, Shen Qingqiu returns, announced by a surprised, “Binghe?”

Ming Fan takes that as his sign to leave the room in a hurry, fumbling with the door and his movement to reach Shen Qingqiu's location. He finds the man standing at the front door, the Not Luo Binghe disciple hugging his waist, receiving a soft head pat.

Shen Qingqiu hears Ming Fan before seeing him. “This master trusts you took good care of your shidi, Ming Fan.”

He nods slowly, opens his mouth to vocally respond—

“Shixiong took perfect care of this one, Shizun. The sickness has let up a lot thanks to him.” The Not Luo Binghe speaks up happily, head tilted to look up at Shen Qingqiu with a smile, receiving a smile from Shen Qingqiu in return. “If this disciple may request, could Shixiong take care of me more when Shizun is busy?”

Shen Qingqiu hums. “Ming Fan?”

Ming Fan, whose mouth had yet to close after being interrupted, closes it now. He does not want to take care of this stranger. However, he doesn’t know if disagreeing would be smart right now either, and he would need evidence if he can not convince Shizun that something is wrong once he finds the time alone with the man. So, he nods. “This one does not mind, Shizun.”

“Excellent!” Shen Qingqiu pats Not Luo Binghe once again, then gently detaches the boy from his waist in order to approach Ming Fan, delivering a head pat to him as well. “You did good today, thank you for your help. Now, go get your dinner and rest up.”

Dinner? Had he been here for the whole day, really? Sitting in Luo Binghe’s room the whole time… Nodding, Ming Fan bows. “Wishing Shizun a good night.”

“Mm. Goodnight, Ming Fan.”

Shen Qingqiu turns back to Not Luo Binghe then, “You need extra rest too, Binghe.” Ming Fan does not linger, his legs moving to the door now, eager to leave. He is out the door quickly, glancing back only once when he is a few feet away.

The Not Luo Binghe stands at a window, looking back, his eyes a faint red due to the distance.

Ming Fan looks away, quickening his leave from sight.

✿❀✿

Ming Fan finds himself paired with the Not Luo Binghe more and more after that. If they aren’t paired together for a task from Shizun, then Not Luo Binghe seems to always find him when he is alone, latching onto Ming Fan with a tight, almost painful, squeeze around the wrist. It never gives him time to talk with Shen Qingqiu alone. His only true grace period away is during the night, when everyone should be resting. Even night does not give him the opportunity however. Not Luo Binghe lives in the bamboo house, and even if Ming Fan were to go to the house when Not Luo Binghe is away, the stranger appears much too quickly once Ming Fan has a second of Shizun’s attention.

His best course of action, he had assumed, was to tell his Liu-shishu in hopes he’d be able to talk with Shen Qingqiu, perhaps push his shizun to notice something off with the disciple parading around as Luo Binghe, and have him taken to be examined for possession.

It only ended up being for naught. He had heard Shizun, adamant that Not Luo Binghe did not need to be examined.

Then the stranger had found Ming Fan later on after the event, gripping his wrist with deathly strength, smiling, and speaking his words softly, “Dashixiong is so concerned with this one. Shidi appreciates it, but recommends against such worry.” Dangerously, the disciple twists Ming Fan’s wrist, causing the older boy to hiss, grimacing in pain. “You might harm yourself.” Not Luo Binghe’s hand lets go immediately after that. Without another word, only a small, sweet, smile given to his shixiong, he walks away.

✿❀✿

The years up to the Immortal Alliance Conference continue with Not Luo Binghe sticking close to Ming Fan whenever possible. Watching Ming Fan from around corners, from windows, or in plain sight when not able to stand directly not to the older boy. Ming Fan tries his best to ignore it. Only, it grows into Not Luo Binghe snatching his wrist in order to drag him away from groups of other disciples.

The first time it had happened, Ming Fan yelled at Not Luo Binghe, demanded an explanation.

All he received was a growl and twist of his wrist. A threat he hadn’t backed down from at the time, resulting in a silent staring match until they were found.

Then it was purposely shooing off anyone that lingered too long around Ming Fan, even Ning Yingying. More yelling, another threat, another staring match. A cycle where Ming Fan was aware that this stranger could perhaps tear off his arm during any of the times his wrist was grab, but refused to visibly show any submission.

When the Immortal Alliance Conference came and went, the horrors and loss felt by everyone, including him, there was at least one thing he was grateful for. Whoever or whatever that thing had been was supposedly dead.

✿❀✿

Three years later, the stranger returns. Several things happen.

Shizun is put on trial, as the disciples learn, after the man is already within the Water Prison. Luo Binghe was found by Huan Hua Palace, having stayed with the sect for a whole year, not once announcing his survival to Cang Qiong Mountain. To Shen Qingqiu. One of the reasons his martial siblings, especially those on Qing Jing Peak, are mad at Luo Binghe is simply due to not coming back. Three years of watching their Shizun become a shell, calling for Luo Binghe occasionally as if the disciple is not dead.

Ming Fan too had been distraught about their Shizun’s condition, of course! It was just that he knew the stranger calling himself Luo Binghe was definitely not the shidi he suggested on that mission so long ago.

He does not know where his shidi is.

✿❀✿

Things keep happening. Shizun escapes prison. Or, it would be best said that a demon kidnaps Shizun. All the cultivation world is let on about is that a demon had broken into the prison, several disciples left dead, yet no Shen Qingqiu.

The stranger doesn’t seem to care as much as the Old Palace Master does.

✿❀✿

Things keep happening.

Shen Qingqiu remains missing even after a year. The Old Palace Master has vanished, leaving Luo Binghe as the new Palace Master. Luo Binghe pays a visit to Cang Qiong Mountain, to Qing Jing Peak. To Ming Fan. Luo Binghe does not ask for permission when he kidnaps Ming Fan, an act done in the middle of the night with a sword radiating with demonic qi.

Months later, Cang Qing Mountain is under attack by Luo Binghe’s army. The demon not joining the battle himself, leaving it up to his general instead to handle things. His attention set on dressing Ming Fan up, speaking of marriage, of having been patient long enough.

Ming Fan does not fight back, not when he physically is unable to when there is blood in his system keeping his body stock still and his lips sealed tight. Only his facial expression displaying clear hate for the stranger in front of him is under his control.

Maybe hate for himself too. After all, maybe if he had not suggested that mission for his shidi, he’d have been here instead. Cang Qiong Mountain may not have been being destroyed as he stood here, trapped. Maybe Shizun wouldn’t have vanished, if he was alive out there.

Luo Binghe really was not his most liked shidi, but he doesn’t think he had wanted the boy to die.

Notes:

kinda lost thought after the first 2.5k words, and then rushed everything else

binghe took zheng yang's shards too, reforged, and gave it to ming fan as a gift since. the sword he yearned for finally "his" (but not)