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There was a reason Jax never let anyone in his room. It was the same reason he always went to bed last, the same reason he came out too early in the mornings.
It wasn’t because he thought he was ‘too cool’ to go to bed early, it wasn’t because he wanted to be mysterious.
He fucking hated his room. He hated it so fucking much , and no matter how many times he’d complain to Caine about it, nothing was done.
You can rearrange it however you want, Jax! He’d said, early in the morning before anyone had woken up, But the shape has to stay there, I only give you what you need!
Except, Jax didn’t need it.
It didn’t matter that stepping into his room felt like a cool breeze on a too-hot day. It didn’t matter that staying away from his room only made him fall harder when he finally got to it. None of that mattered because-
Jax was an asshole . He would say that that was just ‘how it was’, but he knew that would be a lie (He lied to everyone else, he could at least be honest with himself). He was an asshole because he’d always been an asshole. He couldn’t- he wouldn’t break that image for the rest of the circus.
He wouldn’t give up that protection. He couldn’t remember why or when being an asshole started to make him feel safe, but it had to be right. It had to be right, because Jax remembered very few things from his past life and anything he did remember had to be important.
It had to be.
The point was; his room made him look soft . It was soft and warm and nice and inviting-
All of the things he wasn’t. All of the things he refused to be.
So, when he stayed up past his alarm, past Caine’s grating voice in the main room, he dedicated himself to staying in his warr- bed. With the door locked securely and pillows piled over his ears.
He knew, sooner or later, someone would come looking for him. Even if they hated him, even if they couldn’t wait to have a day off from his jokes, they would come looking.
Ragatha had always been a worrier, Pomni looked like she needed stability in her days, he helped Zooble cool off after Caines overwhelming adventure (if they even went along), and Kinger had a knack for noticing people's disappearances.
Gangle didn’t really… like him. So.
He wasn’t surprised when he heard the muffled knocking and talking.
“Jax?” Ragatha called through the door, murmuring something to whoever was with her, “You in there?”
Jax said nothing, burro-- pushing further into his blankets.
“It would be nice if you could respond, Jax,” Ragatha called, “Just so, y’know, we can make sure you didn’t abstract.”
Jax rolled his eyes, ignoring how, at the acknowledgement of other people, his warren felt empty, cold.
“I’m good,” he called instead, his voice muffled by one of his pillows.
“C’mon, a******,” Zooble called, a fist pounding on his door, “If I have to put up with Caine today, so do you.”
Jax pulled his arms around his waist like he was giving himself a hug, trying to quell the pure want to grate his teeth. His warren felt cold all of a sudden and he wanted out .
He didn’t actually- really want out. He wanted them in. He wanted them to be safe and warm -
He needed to stop thinking like that. He needed to suck it up, stand, and tell them he would be out in a minute.
“...Jax?” Ragatha asked, knocking lightly, “Is something wrong?”
The rabbit didn’t respond, curling in on himself further. He was afraid that if he responded, if he tried to spit a joke at the two, it would make room for his teeth to grind, for any other noise that wasn’t human to come out.
There were a few beats of silence following the question, before Jax picked up on muttering outside the door; his ears perking up and moving the few pillows.
“...get in?” Ragatha was saying.
“Yeah, but he’s not going to like it,” Zooble sighed.
“Well I don’t like that he has a key to my room, but I know it’s for my own safety,” a pause, and then, “C’mon, Zooble. What if something’s wrong?”
Zooble sighed, and then suddenly a key was being shoved into his door.
Jax sat up abruptly, two parts of his brain fighting a war at him.
One part, the part Jax fucking hated , cheered. Trying to convince him that it was good that his colony wanted to come into his warren. While the other dropped to his gut, forcing his eyes to lock on the door while the first voice held his limbs steady.
Letting them in meant letting them see . Letting them in it meant- it meant that Jax was no longer Jax the asshole but Jax the literal fucking bunny . The cute fucking rabbit that couldn’t help but fucking purr when someone sat in his stupid ass warren.
He’d only let one person stay in his warren before. Only one person got the privilege and that was because he forgot two seconds after he left.
Kinger- the crazy old man that was somehow his fucking safe person, wasn’t here.
Instead? The two people he poked the most fun at.
The door creaked open slightly, halting Jax’s thoughts all at once.
“Jax?” Zooble asked, not stepping in yet, “I’m walking in so get your s*** together.”
Jax couldn’t stop his teeth from grinding once the hallway light illuminated the entrance to his warren. His room .
It was supposed to be dark. Dark was safe.
There was a hole padded with blankets and pillows that led down to it, starting at the door. At the bottom of the tunnel lay Jax in a circular, cave-like warren lined with pillows and blankets. Soft, blue lights scattered about.
“Holy s***,” Zooble said, letting the door open all the way as they stood shadowed in the middle of it, Ragatha peeking over their shoulder with her mouth agape.
Jax felt his arms idly wrap around his waist again, using his legs to push himself back slightly. The movement only seemed to draw the two’s attention, no matter how he wanted to make himself small , to hide .
“How have I never seen your room before, Jax?” Zooble asked, taking a step in. Jax tried not to melt at the way that simple step sent warmth through his veins.
He couldn’t respond, though. It was like the fucking bunny-voice had a grip on his throat.
“Jax?” Ragatha asked, placing a hand on Zoobles shoulder before they could walk in any more, “Is it alright if we come in?” Zoobles eyes widened as they started to take a step back.
The rabbit found himself whining with a frown, lurching forward before cutting himself off.
What was he doing ?
Zooble and Ragatha froze, staring at him with shock and surprise.
“What the fu-” Zooble started, only to be cut off by Ragatha.
“Uh, Jax?” Ragatha stumbled, clearly trying to shut the other up. The rag doll stepped into the warren further, only setting the bunny-brain off more. It hopped around his mind like it was a fucking playset, locking his eyes on his colony member.
“I’m going to keep coming in, and if you want me to stop you just have to say something- or make that noise again, okay?”
Jax managed a nod, eyes locked onto the doll's form.
“Ragatha,” Zooble hissed before she could move, “What are you doing?”
Ragatha turned slightly, “Clearly, something is wrong Zooble. We have to help.”
“He sounds f****** feral ,” Zooble stretched, taking a step forward nonetheless, “What if he attacks you?”
“He wouldn’t,” Ragatha whispered, Zooble scoffed, “Sure, Jax is a jerk, but he’s never actually hurt us. Besides, he looked terrified .”
Did he? He was just scared that his colony would leave when they just got here.
His- not his fucking colony. Fuck. This was bad. He needed them to leave so he could get himself together. He needed to stop acting like a fucking rabbit , and be the person he was.
(Was he?)
He knew it was bad to neglect that part of him, he knew it was always worse in the end, but he had a system . Whenever he got too bad, he would invite Kinger to hang out with him, to simply be . Kinger would ramble about this or that, really Jax was never paying attention; he let the bunny run free in those moments. It was helpful.
Jax fought with himself the entire time Ragatha made her way down his warren. She went slowly, watching her step despite the fact that all the clutter was in the warren itself.
“Why are his eyes doing that?” Zooble asked, frozen at the door.
“I don’t know.”
When Ragatha fully stepped into the warren, Jax felt his grip on the bunny loosen, slip. He jerked forward, ready to help his colony member get settled in. He paused, though, when Ragatha flinched back slightly.
There was a beat of silence.
Why did the doe not want to sit, why was she scared of him? Did he do something wrong? Why wouldn’t she want to sit in the warren?
Jax squealed, slowly reaching forward with pleading eyes. She just needed to sit down, and then she would realize what a good job Jax had done decorating the warren. It was perfect.
Ragatha stepped forward.
“ Ragatha ,” Zooble whispered harshly, getting a wave from the doll in response.
“Is this okay, Jax?” She asked, slowly kneeling, “Can I sit here?” Jax nodded, reaching forward and lightly grabbing her arm. He wasn’t sure why the doe was scared, but he was going to be gentle and show her that the warren was nice.
He gently pulled her to where he was sitting, slowly pulling pillows and blankets around her. He let out a soft honk-like noise, smiling at the doll.
She looked a bit bewildered, sitting there, but there was a small smile on her face.
“I think-” She huffed, looking up to Zooble with that same confused smile, “I think he’s a rabbit?”
A beat, and then-
“Well no sh**.”
“No- not like that he- he’s acting like a rabbit!” Ragatha laughed, Jax just looking between the two of them.
Why was the other colony member just sitting there?
“Oh,” Zooble said, looking around, “And this is his f****** warren.”
Yes. Yes! This was his warren. Didn’t his colony want to be in his warren? Why wasn’t the other member joining them?
He whined, a little quieter this time, looking up at them.
“Zooble.”
“No,” The other started, “No I’m not- I don’t want to be a part of this.”
What? Why? Jax whined again, moving forward.
“Zoob I think you have to,” Ragatha smiled, “ Look at him.”
Zooble squinted at him, looking at Ragatha again, “Yeah, I see him,” they snarked, taking another step in, “he is so going to owe me for this.”
Jax honked, ushering them in further and placing them near Ragatha with more content noises escaping him as he continued to organize his warren. They were fine with blankets and pillows now they would probably need something to entertain them. Like-
He turned around quickly, standing and waltzing over to another hallway of his warren.
“Where’s he going now?” Zooble asked, bored. Good thing Jax was about to fix that.
There was a smile in Ragatha’s voice when she spoke, “He looks like he’s on a mission, I don’t know.”
He followed the short hallway to a smaller sideroom lined with bookshelves, notebooks and supplies. Ragatha had always liked books, if Jax remembered right, and Zooble liked sketching. He grabbed a few pencils, a notebook, and books and rushed back up with them; clucking and honking the whole way.
He was doing so good- he knew. He was keeping them comfortable and entertained in his well built warren.
He passed the notebook and books to the two of them. They were saying something, talking to each other, probably, but his head was getting a little too fuzzy to understand. Warmth flooded his mind, passing over his brain as he settled in front of them, flopping down between their pairs of legs. His ears twitched with the way they grazed the two.
There was a giggle from one of them, a low huff from the other, before a soft hand was placed right between his ears.
He melted, pushing up into the hand and earning another giggle. He couldn’t help the way his teeth moved, forming a purring noise that seemed to fill the room despite the talking that passed over the other two.
He felt himself drift there, with his colony by his side, protecting him.