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"Balance, do you like spending time with me?"
The mechanical lifeform in question jolted upright, as though he'd just been given an electric shock.
"Of course I do, Naga!" he exclaimed. "I super totally absolutely always like spending time with you! Why'd you even think such a thing?"
There was a twinge of something in Naga's chest that he couldn't quite name—perhaps fear, guilt, or shame?—that was guiding him forward, but it didn't feel right to dwell on it. The conversation was likely to veer into emotions if he did, and he didn't want that right now. Not yet, anyway.
"Because," he said instead, "you've tried to sneak away. Like when we were just starting out together, and you kept trying to leave planets without me. And when the Kyurangers first found us, and you said you were betraying me, and never told me whether or not you might be pretending. And right before we fought Jark Matter, when you were trying to get off the ship, and I don't think you were expecting to see me, even though you said that you were glad to find me. And—"
"Okay, okay, yeah, that's enough of a list!" Balance put a hand on his head in a move that was probably signifying dismay. "I wasn't aware you were paying that much attention!"
"I was," Naga replied. "I noticed you doing it, but I didn't—it wasn't until recently that I thought about what it might mean. Back then, at the beginning, I just thought that you were leaving, and that you expected I would follow. And so I did. Now… I'm not sure anymore."
At that, Balance let out a sound halfway between a whir and a whistle. "I guess you wouldn't be, huh? Especially since, from my end, the answer's not been the same each time."
"It hasn't?" Naga asked, and the spark that he felt now was definitely confusion. After all, the way that Balance had treated him hadn't changed all that much along the way. So how could have his reasoning? But Balance was shaking his head as if this was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Not at all." He looked around a moment, then sighed. "I don't want this to eat at you until you angst over it and turn evil again or anything, so maybe we should just go and sit down somewhere and talk this through, yeah?"
Naga tried furrowing his brow—it felt like an appropriate reaction as he thought the offer through. Was this really something that he could turn evil over? On one hand, Balance was Balance and Naga had no control over him, so him wanting to stay or leave shouldn't really affect Naga at all, right? On the other hand, Naga never wanted to turn evil like that again, and he didn't want to worry Balance about that either. So if Balance had any sort of inkling that something might lead Naga down a dark path, then it would be wise for him to trust Balance's judgement. Plus he did want to hear what Balance had to say. And when he put all that together, there was only one correct response.
"Yeah," he agreed, simply. And then Balance was taking him by the hand, and leading him to a quieter part of the ship. Specifically, to the double quarters that they shared, and the bench that laid within.
Balance sat down first as usual, curling himself so he was facing towards the center, and patted the other side, inviting Naga to join him. Naga sat down obediently, turning so he could face Balance as well.
"So you're curious about my motives, huh?" Balance asked. "Honestly? Part of me's relieved. That means you're thinking critically, and that's a really good thing for you, or for anyone for that matter. Honestly? If you'd been doing that in the first place, I don't know if you would've stayed around me so long. But I'm super, super glad that you did."
If anything, that confused Naga more. Why would Balance have expected Naga to leave, when Balance was the one who liked to sneak off? And did that mean that it was good that he wasn't thinking critically before even if he was now? With all the questions running through his mind, there was only one thing to say:
"Why?"
Balance gave a nervous little laugh. "Well, that's a long and complicated question. But before I answer it, can you promise me one thing?"
Naga cocked his head. "What is it?"
"Promise me that you won't get too mad at me, until I've gone through everything, okay?"
Anger was an emotion that Naga understood. It was a dangerous emotion, and hard, sometimes even still, to keep in check. But for Balance, he would always do his best. He never wanted to hurt Balance again.
"I promise."
"Right!" Balance pumped his fists in energetic agreement. "Well, let's start at the end, then, because it's the easiest one. I was thinking of running away because I was scared. And yeah, I know that we're supposed to be the brave, chosen warriors who'll defend the universe, but I also knew that we were probably gonna die. And I mean, we kinda did." He slouched, and made a sound like a sigh. "Honestly? I really was kind of hoping that you'd find me, or that I'd find you, even while I was sneaking around. I don't really know if I wanted you to talk me out of it, or if I wanted to take you with me—I think I'd've been happy either way—but I'm glad I got to see you deal with fear for the first time, even if it's one heck of an uncomfortable emotion. And I'm glad that it made me want to stay and fight alongside you to the end."
Naga nodded. "I'm glad too."
To fight by Balance's side. To die by Balance's side. To come back and win by Balance's side. It had all been so much—a roller coaster of emotions beyond anything that Naga could have dreamed. And he was glad that Balance had been there through all of it, the entire time.
"And the rest?"
"And the rest," Balance repeated softly. He slouched further, as if in defeat, and then sat up, setting his hands on his lap where his fingers could fidget with the edge of a piece of plating. "Well… I guess then to start off… you know that I never expected to take you off-planet, right?"
Naga nodded. That much was obvious. "You didn't know that I or any Hebitsukaian would want to escape the planet. I took a chance, and you accepted it. There was no time for you to expect."
"Well yeah," Balance agreed, "but what I meant was… taking you off with me was a last-ditch attempt to not get caught or captured or killed. And sure, I know emotions, though I thought it was really totally weird that you'd ask someone without much facial dexterity to help you out there, but it meant I could get away. So of course I said yes!"
Naga cocked his head, just like Balance always did when Naga said something that surprised him. "But you're one of the most emotional people I know."
"Well, yeah," Balance agreed. "I am pretty awesome, and full of emotions and thoughts and feelings, but most people with facial dexterity wanna learn from other people who also have facial dexterity, y'know? Like, a lot of cultures don't get it if your face doesn't match your body, if it's clear that you can use both. Not a problem for me, of course. But for you? Slump over and smile and everyone's gonna be wondering what the heck you're thinking for days!"
Well, that at least made sense. Though Naga still didn't think he could have asked for a better teacher if he tried. Still, there was an important corollary to bring up to Balance's own point.
"I didn't care who took me either," Naga replied. "You said you took the one chance you had to leave. I took the one chance I got to leave, too."
"Well, yeah, but you wanted to stay and learn!" Balance explained. "For me, back then, half of me wanted to teach you some emotional basics to make you happy, and then dump you on the first planet I got to. Or the first one that wasn't a total death trap anyway, which is waaaaaaayyyyyyyyy too many of the planets these days, huh?"
Just thinking about the state that Jark Matter had put many planets in—the state that many of them were still in now—was enough to make an ember of anger burn in Naga's chest. He hoped that it was okay that he was angry over that, at least, since it wasn't at Balance specifically. But if it was the whole dumping thing that Naga was supposed to be angry about… he wasn't. If anything, it just didn't add up.
"You didn't, though."
"Of course I didn't!" Balance agreed. "You're Naga. And I know that doesn't sound like much of an excuse, but, like, the first time, you followed me back. And the second time, too. And if I'm toootally honest, I tried to play it off as cool, but I was a little annoyed that you kept on tagging along. But then I had the brilliant idea to start playing around with what we could do together. Because when you've got someone who can freeze people in their tracks, someone else who's a technopath, then you've got the power to pull off some seriously amazing heists, y'know? So then keeping you around meant having a really cool asset! And I think it was only after that that I started even maybe considering you my friend. But, like, right around then, I got the feeling that maybe you would want to leave me. Like, what would happen if you realized that I'd been more or less using you for my own gains, because a little food and oxygen and a bit of time here and there going over emotions was a super amazing good deal compared to what I got out of having you around? And so I tried to convince myself that I didn't need you either. That it didn't matter if I stayed or left, or if you stayed or left, because sooner or later one of us would anyway. And then you didn't. And then you wouldn't let me. And then…. Well, then we became Kyurangers."
Naga frowned. He could understand what Balance meant by that, how he may have seen it as a good deal, but that wasn't the truth of it at all from Naga's point of view.
"My emotions are worth everything to me," he explained. "They were worth leaving my planet. They were worth doing anything and everything with you. And so if you were using me, then I was using you too."
Balance was staring at him now, his head cocked in that way that usually meant confusion, but from the way that he was leaning in, Naga wasn't entirely sure if confusion was the right emotion after all, or if it was something, somehow, more.
"You mean… it was good for both of us? All the way along?"
At that, Naga felt his stomach drop like lead, knowing full well the untruth of that statement. "Not all the way along, Balance. I left. I hurt you. I… did completely unforgivable things. To all our friends, but to you, especially. And I—it never will have always been good because of that."
And at that, Balance took his hands and squeezed them tight.
"If there was one emotion I hoped you'd never have to learn, it was trauma," he admitted. "And I'm sorry that I failed on that behalf. Or that the universe failed you, I guess, because I definitely didn't want to try and make you feel so low that you'd want to go evil or anything! But you've gotta, gotta know, Naga, that I don't blame you for any of that. That nobody blames you for any of that. And that while you and I will never be the same after what happened, and you've got some new scars and I've got some new soldering, I think that we're stronger for having gone through it nonetheless."
And of all the things that Balance could have said, perhaps that made the lease sense of all.
"But how can that be true?"
"Because we learned from it," Balance replied. "Because you came back. Because even if you could feel really viscerally while you were your dark self, you learned that there are emotions and ways to experience them that you don't want, even if there are billions more that you do. Because I literally went inside your head and know that it wasn't you, even if part of it was. Because it wasn't just you, and you've always been curious and quick to grasp onto new opportunities, and I should've known to keep a better eye on you so I could help when things like this could possibly happen. And I don't want to allow myself to feel bad about it, because then you will feel even worse about it, and I want you to be happy!"
Balance's voice sounded sad, but he wasn't quite at the point of tears. That made sense—it took a lot to make Balance cry due to his mechanical makeup. Though Naga thought he felt some prickling his own eyes as he listened and took in everything his partner was saying. He tried to duck his head into his shoulder, careful not to dislodge Balance's hands, so he could wipe them away.
"You want me to be happy," Naga repeated.
"Of course I do," Balance agreed. "Almost as much as I want me to be happy. Maybe just as much or more! I don't know anymore."
And it was strange. Although Naga didn't understand why Balance would want for Naga's happiness more than his own, Naga thought he kind of felt the same way. That if Balance was happy, then that might just be the most important thing in the universe.
"But then if you want me to be happy, and I want you to be happy, and you were sad that I left but happy because I came back… you know that I'd be sad if you left too, right?"
It wasn't often that Naga wished that Balance had an emotive face. His body was so expressive that there was often no doubt what he was feeling, even to someone like Naga for whom emotion was still like a second language. But the way that Balance stilled at that revelation was hard for him to interpret at all.
When Balance spoke again, his voice was quiet and tentative, in a way that Naga could rarely remember it sounding before.
"You're sure you would?"
"I'm sure," Naga agreed. "It feels like something's missing when you're not around. Like there's a hole where something big's supposed to be. It's harder to make good decisions. To feel good. To be happy."
"Huh." Balance straightened at that, meeting Naga's eyes as if to study him. "I always thought that you'd just… move on. That there might be a couple moments of sadness, but after that…."
Naga shook his head no. "I don't know if I'd be happy for a long, long time if you left. Until I found you again, or at least knew what happened to you. If I could follow you, I would. And if I couldn't…" What would he do? How would he continue on? If he'd been back on his home planet, then he would have had to pretend that nothing had happened, and the thought of that felt so suffocating, he thought it would kill him. "I might die."
"Well, that's the exact opposite of what I'd want," Balance noted. "I want you to be happy. I want you to live a long and happy life. You are one of the best things in this universe. And one day… you will go somewhere that I can't easily follow, and I know this, and that's not something that I want to even think about."
Naga frowned. "Where's that?"
Balance shook his head. "Just think about the fact that my body is four hundred years old, and how good or bad your body's likely to look at that age."
And, well, when he put it that way…. "Oh."
"But really?" Balance asked. "You aren't mad at me at all? For any of that?"
Naga shook his head vehemently. There was nothing for him to be mad at, at all. And Balance needed to understand that just as clearly as he did.
"We both got what we wanted. And what we needed. And you said that we became better because of what we went through when I left. But I think we've become better because of what we went through when we've been together. And I don't want to stop being together, Balance. Not today, not in a year, not when I'm four hundred years old."
Balance laughed. "I'm pretty sure most organic humanoids top out at a hundred and fifty at most…."
"Doesn't matter. I still want to be with you."
"Even if I maaaaaybe want to leave the Kyurangers at some point?"
This, admittedly, took a moment of consideration, though in the end, it was a pretty easy answer to give even still. "We're not needed together as a big group anymore. If we're needed again, we'll figure it out. But I think I would be happy just going around the universe with you, Balance, with or without everyone else around."
"Good," Balance replied. "Because I've been thinking… maybe it'd be kiiinda a cool idea if we could steal back some of the treasures that Jark Matter stole, and return them back to their home planets. For a small commission, of course."
That idea made Naga happy. So happy that he had to smile. He hoped it was a good one.
"I think I'd like that, too."
"So that's it, huh?" Balance asked. "No leaving. No being alone anymore. Just you'n me. BN Thieves forever."
"BN Thieves forever," Naga agreed.
The thought made him feel so warm in his chest. Not like fire, but a gentler, softer glow. Like the way that Balance looked when using the Sol Kyutama, all bright and cheery, but maybe without the extra energy. He wasn't sure what that emotion was called, but it was a good one. He would have to ask Balance about it later.
But for now, he just wanted to spend time with his friend and partner, content in the fact that neither of them were going anywhere without the other one. And that they just might have a chance to stay as part of the best partnership ever forever—or as much of a forever as the universe gave them, anyway—both making each other shine as brightly as any star.