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Ruins of Us

Chapter 2: Can I?

Notes:

Hi everyone!!!

First of all, let me just say: I was bloody crying my eyes out after all your lovely comments, it truly meant the world and I was lucky enough to make friends with some of you on Twitter too, so this is just the best time of my life!

Secondly, I am sorry for all the typos in Chapter 1, english isn't my first language and my dysgraphia isn't helping either, but I corrected them.

Lastly, I wrote Chapter 1 for the vibes, but I think it is time we go into more of the plot now. For this chapter I kept fully Rupert's POV so you can understand his guilt more regarding the ending. oh yeah, and the ending... I apologize in advance.

Anyways, hope you like it, whether if you do or not, let me know!

Xx

Chapter Text

 

In the back of his mind, a voice told Rupert he should stop before it is too late. It was probably his conscience trying to get him to do the right for the first time in a very long time. Interestingly, the voice sounded very much like Lizzie. 

You shouldn’t, he was reminded. But then Taggie kissed him again and suddenly words lost their meaning for a while. 

“We should get you home,” he whispered silently, his forehead still resting on hers some time later. “You need a bit of rest, angel.”

  “Not really, I wouldn’t be able to sleep anyways,” she admitted and the tugging feeling in his heart made Rupert almost sick. The young woman was carrying so much weight on her delicate shoulders already, and here he was, just adding more to it. All that for what? Because he couldn't stop thinking about her? Because he couldn’t seem to breathe without her? Because she gave him a purpose he never had before: being the man she deserved?

“What can I do?” he was almost pleading for her to let him do something. Guilt was truly the strongest feeling of all, it made a man like him tremble with agony.

Taggie looked up at him. He wasn’t simply tired, he seemed tortured and suddenly she truly wanted to know everything about him. No detail was minor, no word meaningless. She needed to know him in a way no one ever has. The way he leaned into her touch, she knew he wanted the same, even if he didn’t realize it yet.

“Take me home,” she smiled sweetly.

“Of course,” he pulled away. What was he thinking? He made a promise! Truth be told, he made several promises and when she walked away from him, those promised words hit him like a train. I will take care of you. He was so lost in his own thoughts, Rupert didn’t even notice that Taggie was already on her way. Towards his home. “I thought you said─” he started when he caught up with her but when she just smiled at him he realized what she meant so he just walked next to her and his horse in silence.

You cannot, came a new wave of guilt, as they reached his estate, Taggie already taking the stairs up to the entrance, but stopping in front of the door. The silliest thought entered Rupert’s mind as he looked up at her. He imagined taking her in his arms as his bride and carrying her over the threshold. He could almost hear her laugh as he surprised her, felt her arms around his neck, and saw her eyes shining with anticipation. 

Who would have thought that such a beautiful picture ─ which he hadn’t entertained since his marriage ended in flames ─ would cause him such pain? You cannot.  

“Let me give you a tour,” he opened the door and smiled with satisfaction when he heard her astonished sigh. He knew he had a beautiful home, filled with art that one cannot even find in museums, a house with not only familial history but a true soul. Yet, seeing Taggie walk the hallways, eyes wide open, cheeks flushed, hands carefully tracing the outlines of some of the pictures and sculptures in her way─ His home was never as beautiful as now, with Taggie in it. She was pure light, and he couldn’t risk ruining it. 

“Taggie, we need to─”

“Where is your kitchen?” she interrupted him with such childish curiosity, he couldn’t help but laugh. 

“Of course, how could I forget,” he turned her around, towards the stairs and out to the kitchen areas. 

“Oh, this is beautiful,” she sighed, and, if it was even possible, smiled more widely. She was so careful in all the other rooms but here she was in her element. “May I?” she asked as she started looking around in the kitchen, getting a feel of the place. 

“Make yourself at home,” he said casually as if that wasn’t his deepest wish for her. To be at home in their home, with him. 

“What do you say to some early breakfast?” She put her unruly hair in a messy bun and took in all the options on the counter. 

“Only if you share with me,” he answered, innuendo all over his words. If only she knew how he wanted to share everything with her. 

“Of course I will,” maybe she knew what he meant because all of a sudden she was right in front of him, a kind smile hiding in the corner of her lips as she rose to her tiptoes and laid the softest kiss on his lips.

Rupert was petrified as she danced back to the counter, pulled out a knife ─ from where he didn’t even see ─ and moved around the kitchen like she has known this place for more than a decade. All he could do was lean into the door frame and just watch in admiration. A part of him knew, she was so good at this because she had to take care of her family and it made him rather angry. To know that she had to sacrifice being a child and who know how much of herself to take care of a broken family? He just wanted to give her the peace and happiness she deserved, even if it meant he couldn;t have her in his life. Taggie has been through enough, and knowing what was about to happen, he had to be a better man and set her free.

“Tag─” he stepped a bit closer to her, trying to find the right words. 

“I am almost done,” she smiled up at him, a stray hair falling into her face. Before he could stop himself, he leaned in, cleared it from her face and kissed her forehead. “Let me help.”

“You could lay the table,” she shrugged and watched as he moved behind her, took some plates and cutlery, then walked to the back door.

“Outside?”

“Perfect,” she nodded happily, her smile conjuring a smile to his lips too. She truly must have been an angel sent from above, because there was no man on this earth who could fight her smile. 

A few minutes later, she appeared behind him with a tray filled with so much food, Rupert barely believed his eyes.

“Are we expecting company?” he asked jokingly.

“I thought you must be hungry,” Taggie stopped in her tracks and looked down at the tray, as if just realizing maybe she was wrong. Before she could let her own insecurities get to her ─ oh, how much he wanted to erase all of those thoughts from her wonderful mind ─, Rupert took the tray from her hands and put it on the table. He swiftly stepped to one of the chairs and pulled it for her, a lovely shade of red blush coloring her face when she sat down and he whispered into her left ear: “And you are right, I am ravenous.” 

For a few minutes they both ate in silence, listening to the waking town, the harmony of nature’s sounds. Taggie was looking over the estate, to the far end of the garden that led to the Bluebell, her eyes absentmindedly always turning to her home where her father was slowly falling apart. But when she looked back at him, her eyes softened and he wished they could stay in this moment forever. It was so peaceful, far away from everyone and everything, just the two of them, enjoying the silence without feeling the need to break it. 

You cannot.

“It must be so wonderful living here,” she finally spoke as she sipped her tea. 

“It is,” he answered truthfully.

“But quite lonely, too.” She wasn’t asking and the way she tilted her head to the side, pulling her knees up in her seat to her chest, she seemed so sad for him. 

“I suppose it is, yes.” There was no reason for him to lie, at least not about this. She didn’t want her to feel sorry for him, but he didn’t want her to only know the so carefully created Rupert Cambell-Black, everyone seemed to know. “But loneliness isn’t always bad. It teaches you quite useful lessons.”

“Makes you stronger, I suppose,” she shrugged, and then looked towards the Priory again. “I guess now it is time for my parents to learn that too.”

“Declan is very lucky to have you,” it was no lie. 

“I wish I knew how to help him,” she admitted silently and her eyes welled up a little. The urge to pull her into his arms was taking over him second by second, but he didn’t want to break their moment. “I know he is hurting, and I know he is trying to hold it in to make things easier for me─”

“This is about him and your mother, so yes, he should be making it easier for you,” Rupert interrupted. It has been infuriating him ever since New Year’s Eve how they all just lived their lives without sparing a thought to Taggie. “They are adults, this is their battle to fight. You are too good, angel, but not everything is yours to fix… especially not things that aren’t worthy of fixing.”

When their eyes met, he suddenly heard his own words. How could someone so easily steal the truth from his lips without him noticing? 

“So what do you think I should do?” she sounded so serious he almost forgot how young she was. “Just sit back and watch as everyone around me falls apart and go on my merry way? How am I supposed to live my life when I know the people I love are in pain, and I could help them?”

“But you cannot help them, Taggie,” he countered. 

“Why? Because I am not like you lot in this town: influential and cut-throat?” 

“No, people like us are not made to help. We ruin things, angel. We take something beautiful and break it up into so many pieces we are no longer able to see ourselves in their reflections. This is how we can live with ourselves.” 

He stood up and turned away from her. He didn’t expect their morning to take such a sudden turn, but maybe this was the right way to do it. Maybe if she went back to hating him, this would be so much easier for her. 

“So that’s what you are doing now?” She was right behind him, he could feel her there but didn’t have the strength to turn around and look her in the eye. 

“Haven’t you heard? I am a nasty virus that everyone’s wife catches sooner or later, so I guess I specialized in breaking up people,” he laughed dryly.

“Considering that my own mother thinks I am dim-witted, I usually do not listen to what others say about a person. I like to make up my own mind,” she finally got around him, forcing him to look at her as she spoke. “And I know that you, Rupert Campbell-Black, aren't far as nefarious as people make you out to be,” he had to laugh at this, but apparently she wasn’t done. “In fact, I know that you are kind, caring and attentive. You helped me more than anyone I know, without me even asking.”

“How do you know it wasn’t just part of a wicked plan to get you?” he teased her and in one swift motion, picked her up and put her on the stone balusters behind her.

“If it was, you wouldn’t have kept your promise to Daddy,” she clung to his shirt and pulled him into her. 

“Hm, now that you mention, I did keep my promise for quite a while,” he mused, but in all honesty, he didn’t even think about his promise to Declan for the past few weeks. He kept his distance to her because she deserved better than him.

“You sound like you want a reward for your achievement,” Taggie laughed and what a heavenly sound it was. 

“It depends, what kind of reward are we talking about exactly?” And there he was, standing between her legs, which circled around his waist so naturally, Rupert was ready to call this exact place his home for the rest of his life. 

“Hm… How about something sweet?” She asked, clearly already pondering the hundreds of recipes she knew. 

“Sweet─ Yes, I am down for something sweet,” he licked his lips and pulled her into such a searing kiss, he couldn’t tell where his own body ended and hers started. 

“That’s─ not exactly what I meant,” Taggie giggled, clearly lightheaded.

“Oh, no?” he raised his hands and tried to step back from her, but her legs were still very firmly holding him in place.  “Then why am I being held hostage here?”

“I─ no─ I mean─” she stuttered anxiously but Rupert kissed him again so masterfully, a few minutes later she didn’t even remember where she was. 

“You were saying?”

“Was I?”

“Yes, sweets,” he laughed.
That awful voice in his head started it again. You cannot. He should have talked to her. He woke up that morning to talk to her, to explain everything before it was too late, not to─ Well, he did  think about this as well, but it was merely a dream, a fantasy he was holding so close to his heart, no one could ever take it from him. 

But he forgot how intoxicating her whole being was, let alone her kiss. He most likely had more affairs in his life than the whole of Cotswolds combined, and yet, he was utterly defenseless against this woman. She could have asked anything and he would have done it in a heartbeat. So when she held him so close, and teased him like this? He wasn’t God’s strongest soldier, and he fell to his knees. Quite literally. 

“Rupert?” Taggie called his name in a sharp exhale as he kneeled in front of her, while she was still sitting on the sturdy balusters. “What are you doing?” 

He rose up just enough to be on eye-level with her, while his hands slowly pulled her long dress to her stomach. 

“We just talked about it, silly,” he laughed. “I am having a bit of sweets here.” 

“That’s not─”

“Do you truly think there is anything sweeter here than you?” he licked his lips and with an evil smirk, returned to his knees and started laying soft kisses on either side of her inner thighs. 

Every single kiss was followed with goosebumps and the repetition of his name.

Rupert. 

Another kiss, just a few inches above her knees.

Rupert?

His hands sliding on both sides, holding her firmly as he was finally arriving at the pearly gates. 

Rupert!

He kissed her, and fuck, he almost came from just he taste of her. But the way he inhaled and exhaled his name? Maybe she was right, she wasn’t an angel. Because the sounds she was making, the prayer-like way she said his name as he pushed her closer and closer to the edge? She was a goddess, real life ambrosia, and now that he tasted her he couldn’t imagine a second without her. 

When her moans deepend, he pulled way and looked up at her, his eyes locking just when he licked his lips. You cannot! And yet, he was about to. In that second he accepted being the devil, if just once, he could bring her to a height and watch her ride it out while he was holding her. The cold morning air sent a shiver down her already sensitive body and he could see her overthinking settle in again. Before she could let it get to her, he leaned down again, licked her pussy as if getting her back to praying his name, and put a finger in.

“Fuck!” She let it out and somehow this angel cursing made him even more satisfied. 

“Oh, we will get to that too, angel, but no haste,” he laughed between kisses while finding the perfect spot for her. When he did, she violently grabbed his hair as if her life depended on it. Good God, was she going to be the first woman to make him come in his own pants like a bloody teenager? As if it was a competition, he decided he will make her lose it all before it could come to that. With just one swift shift, he pulled his middle finger out and immediately put it back in: accompanied with a second finger.

RUPERT! 

This was no prayer anymore, she was cursing him, begging and demanding and no man could deny her anything if they heard her like this. Actually, no man would ever hear her like this if it was up to him. 

With one last flick, and a wild tug of his hair, she was done for. She was breathing shakily, as he rose up to meet her eyes. They were wide and filled with so many emotions but when he smiled at her, she started laughing. Rupert kissed him softly, her own taste still on his lips made the whole act so unreal for her.

“Was it this good?” he asked her and she must have been still under the haze of her orgasm because the words were not adding up to a sentence so he whispered wickedly. “Was it this good when you touched yourself while thinking of me?”

After all that happened, she just blushed now, it was truly adorable. She was still biting her lip when Rupert grazed it with his thumb.

“I guess now I know what happened to your lip,” she immediately stopped, which made him laugh even more. “Do me a favor.” 

Taggie pulled back a little, fear settling in her eyes. What did she think he was going to ask? 

To never mention this to anyone? God, he couldn’t have cared less.

To do the same for him now? He wasn’t the kind of man who played sex like a “you give me one I give you one” transaction. 

To leave now? He would have rather died on the spot than to ever tell her to leave. In fact, he wished he could keep there for the foreseeable future. 

“Next time you need to be taken care of,” he kissed her neck. “Give me the great honor to do it for you.”

It took her a few seconds to free her mind from all the scenarios her insecurities must have created in her mind. But then she laughed and shook her head as she pulled down her dress and got off the balusters. 

“I will keep your offer in mind,” she teased him, once again proving that he could never fully be prepared for the woman that Taggie O’Hara was. She surprised him left and right and he would have happily spent every day being in awe of her, coercing her out into the open more and more. 

“I suppose no dessert then?” she asked as she started picking up the plates from the table. 

“Nah, I think I just found my favorite dessert,” he kissed her forehead and took the tray from her. “Leave it to me.” And with that he disappeared in the kitchen ─ and more importantly in the closest bathroom where he could take care of himself. After he cleaned up and started to make his way back to the garden he could hear Taggie’s giggles, playing with the dogs outside.

“Good boy, Beaver, good boy!” she said and Rupert, like a pervert, thought how he would very much enjoy it if she called him a good boy like that.  “Give it to me, that’s it, now go, bring the stick back!” 

He was looking down at her from top of the stairs, still in happy daze, that at first he didn’t even recognize what was in her hands. But then she looked up at him and he felt like his entire world was crumbling. She looked at him like he hated him before, at the beginning of their acquaintance, but this? This was different. Back then he didn’t know how bright and warm the world was with Taggie’s smile in it. Now, he knew the difference. 

“You bastard!” She spit and threw the newspaper on the grass.

“No, Taggie, please, I can explain,” he ran down the stairs, quickly catching up to her making her escape towards the Bluebell. “I wanted to te─”

She slapped him so hard, he was sure she hurt her own hand, but at that moment it didn’t seem to bother her. 

“Wanted to tell me?” She laughed. “And when exactly was it on the agenda? BEfore or after you fucked me?” 

“Please,” he reached out for her hand but she pulled away like he burned her.

“Do not ever, you hear me: ever , touch me again!”

“Please, don’t do this. Just let me explain.”

“You know what, you were right,” she was crying but her words were still dipped in poison. “You really do know only one thing: ruining everything, breaking people around you like toys…”

She took a few steps back, a painful laugh joining her tears.

“But at least they got your good side in that photo.”

And with that she was gone. The sun was barely rising in the east and yet, it felt like they had spent years in their bliss before reality hit them. Like a painful preview of the life they could have had together, if he wasn’t the man he was. She was right, and had every reason to hate him. It seemed no matter what he did, he always had to pay the price and up until now, it didn’t seem to matter too much. 

He picked up the thrown away newspaper Beaver must have picked up from the main entrance delivered at dawn, as he walked back to the house.

 

Venturer’s MP Bachelor and Corinium’s Producer Engaged

 

This time, however, he didn’t just pay any price: he made an angel fall and tore off her wings. He paid for this with his soul.