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I want to sleep in your arms (but not kiss)

Chapter 8: I want to sleep in your arms

Notes:

Second-to-last chapter!

This one is the longest so far I think, the chapters just kept getting longer lol.

A little bit of fluff and a little bit of angst, just like it was meant to be.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

The moment was gone.

After Nicky and Kevin had been sufficiently cared for, the three of them ate snacks and played some videogames together, just having a completely ordinary afternoon.

He and Kevin had managed to act as if nothing had happened. At least Aaron had acted, maybe it really didn’t mean anything to Kevin.

He had tried to push everything down, not wasting any unnecessary thoughts on it. Kevin and he were just playing around, teasing, it wasn’t anything serious ...right?

He was questioning himself more and more.

It was once again when he was in bed trying to fall asleep when he replayed what happened over and over again. Kevin lying there, all tussled and breathing hard, looking nervous.

What had he wanted to do? Was he going to ask? Tell him off? Cuss him out?

Kevin kept starting things that he can’t finish, and Aaron was left to try and piece together what all of it meant.

He agonized over it for too long, and by the time he finally fell asleep it had been late, way too late. He had refused to check his phone for the time at some point, if he didn’t know he wouldn’t be as tired right?

Sadly, once he woke up, he knew it hadn’t been enough. He dragged himself out of bed and to the bathroom, but even the ice-cold water he splashed on his face didn’t help with his growing headache, or how dry his eyes felt. He put on the same clothes he had worn yesterday since he couldn’t be bothered to try and put a new outfit together right now. He almost fell asleep in his cereal bowl and drank two energy drinks before going to his lectures, another full schedule before lunch.

Maybe I can put some of the energy drink in my cereal instead of milk, for maximum efficiency.

He chuckled at his joke, feeling too tired to care about the weird looks he got from other people for that. He was mainly physically present in his lectures, his mind only thinking about the nap he would take later.

He decided to already get some shuteye in while waiting at a table in the cafeteria. Kevin would wake him up if he arrived.

It's his fault that I’m so tired anyway. Making me rack my brain over all the stuff he does and says.

He buried his face in his folded arms, he could try and blame Kevin all he wanted, he should already know the answer. He was just in denial and projecting, hard.

I’m not though, I’m just confused, and lonely, that’s it. As if Kevin would ever want to be with-

“Aaron! Sorry I took so long, that one guy would. not. stop. talking. Fucking asshole. As if we all want to listen to him hold the lecture, even the professor was pissed off.”

Speak of the devil. Aaron lifted his head at Kevin's voice, he sounded like he was in a worse mood than usual. Once he got a good look at him it was immediately obvious why that might be the case, they had apparently both not gotten a lot of sleep tonight.

Kevin's normally beautiful complexion looked duller, there were some subtle dark circles under his eyes and his frown was deeper too.

“Wow, rough night?”

Kevin nodded silently, looking pissed off. His usual resting bitch face was so much worse right now.

They both got something to eat in the hopes it would wake them up a bit. Added to the cafeteria food, Aaron got another energy drink out of his bag and opened it, Kevin watching him judgingly. Aaron held eye contact and took an extra long sip, just to spite him.

“That’s not your first one today, is it?”

“Nope, my third.”

Kevin scowled, he was so anti-energy drink, it was almost hilarious.

“I don’t know what the big deal is, you drink coffee.”

“Yeah, but energy drinks are full of sugar, too. It's not good for you!”

“And since when do you care for what's good for me?”

Kevin looked at him with such honest shock that Aaron was startled for a second, the can still on his lip.

“Since always! I care about what you put in your body! I want you to be healthy!”

Again, he said it with such honesty that Aaron almost felt bad for teasing him with his drink earlier. He tried not to look too flustered.

“Well, if it helps, I ate some breakfast this morning, something that you probably didn’t do.”

Always deflecting, that works best. Kevin stabbed his food with his fork and shoveled it in, looking caught and guilty, before mumbling more to himself than Aaron.

“And I bet it was just some sugary cereal.”

“Still better than nothing. Look, if you want to make us both a healthy breakfast each day then you're more than welcome. That way I eat healthy, and you eat something, problem solved.”

It was such an obvious joke, no one could misunderstand that. And yet, Kevin looked up at him as if he had just had the best idea ever.

“Kevin. It was a joke.”

“Actually, that is a great idea. Let’s do that. Come over tomorrow before your lectures, I’ll get us some things.”

“Kevin-“

“Nope, no buts, you come over tomorrow, that’s final.”

Aaron groaned as if this was the worst thing to happen to anyone ever.

***

He still showed up the next morning, extremely grouchy and tired. Normally he would wake up early enough that he didn’t have to rush to classes, but not early enough to eat a proper breakfast, just scarfing something down fast.
So, the fact that he had to get up even earlier than usual was already putting him in a sour mood. He hadn’t even gotten to take a nap yesterday afternoon, since it had been full of things to do and essays to write. And now he even had to get up at such an inhumane time, he was miserable.

Kevin opened the door beaming at him as if this was the best day ever. It made sense though, any activity where he wasn’t alone was fun for Kevin, and since he gets up earlier than pretty much anyone else, he is usually lonely for a good chunk of the morning.

Of course Kevin would jump at the opportunity to eat breakfast with someone, why did Aaron have to bring it up at all?

As soon as he stepped in, he shivered and wrapped his arms around himself. Right, their dorm was always so fucking cold. Kevin noticed and immediately took off the hoodie he was wearing, throwing it at Aaron again.
It was oddly reminiscent of that night at the party.

“You’ll get cold Kevin.”

“Nono, I'm really warm right now from the stove. It's my fault it's so cold anyway, I was airing everything out because it smelled too much like smoke again.”

So, it’s Andrew’s fault.

Maybe he should have a word with his brother about smoking indoors. Well, smoking at the window.

He put the hoodie on and sat down, two cups of coffee already on the table. He smiled at them, before picking one up. He was pretty sure that Kevin had already put them there, so he didn’t even have a chance to take out an energy drink.

It was unnecessary since he wouldn’t have dared to bring one with him. Not when Kevin was being this nice and invited him.

Kevin put some things on the table in front of him. Some bread, scrambled eggs, avocado, and even more clearly healthy options for breakfast. Aaron normally had more of a sweet tooth in the morning, but he really couldn’t complain, he was being served breakfast after all, and there were a lot of options to choose from.

And then Kevin put a bowl down, got some oatmeal and that fancy granola and a small bowl of cut fruit. He stared up at Kevin in disbelief as he set down the yoghurt, him just shrugging his shoulders.

“I know you like cereal in the morning, so I got you something similar. Maybe you’ll like that more than the other stuff I got.”

Aaron swallowed, that was actually extremely thoughtful of him. It felt really nice, like, nicer than it probably should, that he remembered that small detail. He hummed a thanks and started filling his bowl, keeping his head down while willing his blush to fade away.

Kevin had been onto something there. Eating breakfast together was nice. It felt almost secretive, like they were the only two people already up and talking as hushed as they could, trying to not be too loud when one of them started laughing at something. They were in their own little bubble. Joking around and trying each other’s breakfast, it almost felt domestic, as if that’s how they had always done it.

But all nice things must come to an end.

Aaron was almost done with his second bowl when Neil suddenly appeared next to him, his twin in tow. The redhead accusingly put his hands on his hips and immediately started complaining.

“What are you doing here?”

“Eating breakfast, what does it look like?”

Neil stared at him for a second while Andrew walked over and sat down at the table, grabbing the bowl of fruit. Now Kevin spoke up.

“Um, actually that’s for-“

“It’s fine Kev, I’m full anyway”

Kevin looked relieved to not have to fight Andrew over a bowl of fruit right now. But Aaron appreciated the gesture, nonetheless.

Neil sat down too, arms crossed and looking between them. Andrew shot him a look that read as a warning. Neil still talked.

“So, what is this?”

They both stared at him confused, before Aaron answered, already irritated.

“Breakfast, I already told you.”

“I know this is breakfast, why are you eating breakfast together suddenly?”

Aaron looked at him as if he was the dumbest person on earth right now.

“Because we wanted to eat breakfast together, what kind of a question is that?”

“Ugh, I swear to god Aaron, I ask because-“

“Neil.”

Andrew had said it almost absentmindedly, but it had been an order. An order to shut up, which Neil did, begrudgingly.

Aaron was done with this, he got up, thanked Kevin again and then realized that he was now running late for his first lecture, he had to leave like five minutes ago.

Fucking Josten.

He was already on his way to his third lecture when he crossed paths with Nicky, who initially waved at him from afar, and then abruptly stopped and just stared. Which was when he noticed that he was still wearing Kevin’s hoodie, had been for the past four hours or something.

All across campus.

It's fine, this is normal. I wear Nicky's things all the time.

It still felt slightly uncomfortable to walk around with the name Day printed on his back. By the time he met Kevin for lunch, he had taken it off and tied it around his waist, sitting with Kevin while wearing it felt too embarrassing.

They ate breakfast the next day too, this time Kevin had to leave for his lectures earlier than Aaron since his first one was cancelled. So, he decided to clean everything up as soon as Kevin was gone. He had just put some things in the fridge when Andrew trudged in, still looking tired and ruffled, greeting Aaron with nothing more than a grumble.

By the time he was done with the kitchen both Andrew and Neil were eating breakfast, and he was just getting his bag to leave when Neil looked up at him.

“It’s unfair, why can’t Kevin make breakfast for us too.”

“Because you can make your own breakfast or get Andrew to do it.”

“I do get Andrew to do it, but he deserves a break too.”

Aaron rolled his eyes at him. Sure, if anyone else had said that he might have found it funny, but from Neil it just sounded ungrateful.

“Well, maybe Kevin just likes me more than you.”

“Duh, obviously, I’m not stupid. I'm just saying, he could still make some extra for us.”

He didn’t expect Josten to agree with that. At his obvious surprise, Neil lifted an eyebrow at him, but Aaron just flung his bag over his shoulder and walked towards the door.

“Well, I have lectures, see you later.”

He might not have lectures right now, but he wasn’t in the mood for any more conversation with Neil.

And then, before he could open the door, he stopped and turned back. Andrew looked up at him when he noticed that Aaron wanted to say something, waiting with the most impassive look on his face. Neil’s back was to Aaron, but as soon as the redhead noticed that Andrew was looking behind him, his head shot around, staring at Aaron as if he knew what he was going to say.

“Uh…could you, maybe stop smoking at the window so much, it smells in here.”

That wasn’t what Neil was expecting, since he looked towards Andrew with a confused frown on his face. Andrew looked as calm as ever.

“Never bothered you before. Also, you don’t live here anymore.”

“Yeah, but Kevin doesn’t like it.”

At that Neils's head snapped back towards him, icy blue eyes boring into him. That guy could be so creepily intense sometimes.

“If Kevin doesn’t like it, he can tell me himself.”

“You know he won’t, so I’m saying it now.”

“He can just open a window.” Neil supplied, but Aaron knew he just said that to annoy him.

“The smell still lingers. Also, by now it’s pretty chilly outside, and he’ll be cold if he opens the window.”

He noticed too late how weird and silly that came across. He sounded like a concerned mother, or worse, a concerned girlfriend.

Technically I would be a boyfriend.

He did not want to think about being Kevin’s boyfriend right now. There was a blush quickly rising up his neck and spreading over his cheeks, although he tried to act as if it wasn’t happening.

Neil didn’t even try to suppress a smirk.

“You're so right, we wouldn’t want your poor Kevin to be cold now, would we?”

“Whatever, I’m leaving.”

With that he fled, swearing he would never try to do something nice for Kevin ever again.

Which had been a lie. And the universe seemingly tried to test him on it.

***

They had been almost done with afternoon practice, so close to the weekend. Eden’s was practically calling for them. And then one of the freshmen, Justin, just had to fuck it up with his shitty attitude.

Yes, Kevin could be an absolute asshole when it came to exy, but there were literally zero benefits to try and argue with him about it. They all knew that.

And yet, Justin had to get all up in Kevin’s face and start to pick a fight once Kevin turned his wrath on him for the third time today.

“Can you shut the fuck up, Day?! Jesus fucking Christ you’re so fucking annoying, always yelling for no fucking reason!”

Ever the peacemaker, Kevin did nothing to try and defuse the situation. Actually, he made it worse.

“Well maybe if you didn’t suck so fucking much, I wouldn’t have to tell you that you’re absolutely shit at this!”

Justin was already shaking with anger, literally fully flushed red from it. He might be younger than Kevin, but he was taller, towering over him, not that Kevin cared.

“You think you’re so great when you’re just a stuck-up bitch who thinks he has any right to look down on everyone. News flash, asshole, no one here likes you!”

Dan was trying to tell them to calm them down, falling on deaf ears. Everyone else was coming closer, wanting to see this play out.

Normally Aaron also liked to watch when a fight happens, better than playing exy, and it was usually pretty entertaining.

Right now, he couldn’t enjoy it, however.

There was a knot in his stomach, he was getting worried and nervous. Sure, he never enjoyed people yelling, but by now he had gotten so used to these kinds of squabbles that they shouldn’t affect him like this. He wished Kevin would just walk away before this fight escalated.

He’s going to get hurt.

“At least I’m a stuck-up bitch who can actually play, while you are just some useless bumbling idiot, who can barely hold the stick right. You are one of the worst backliners I’ve ever seen in my life, Jason.“

Everyone, including Justin, stared in silence for a second, Aaron internally facepalming. Leave it to Kevin to forget someone’s name mid-fight. That was arguably a worse insult than anything else he had said. He heard someone chuckle in disbelief behind him, while Justin tried to break out of his stunned silence.

“You fucking- That’s not even-“

“Maybe instead of throwing a tantrum, you could use this time you’re wasting right now to ask one of the actually good backliners to help you improve! Like, Aaron is right there! Although honestly, he might have to teach you to walk first, seeing as you’re struggling with the simplest fucking things.”

Aaron winced at the mention of his name, he did not want to be dragged into this. Justin glared over at him, Aaron just about managing not to visibly flinch before the freshman’s attention was back on Kevin.

“I see how it is, so you’re only a good player if you are the queen's little fuck-toy? Because your little boyfriend isn’t half as good as y-“

It was a miracle that Kevin had managed to only slap Justin across the face, instead of full-on punching him. Probably because a punch would have put him on the bench for the next game. Justin also seemed to know that because he didn’t punch either, and instead shoved Kevin as hard as he could, making the striker lose his balance and fall flat on his ass.

So, all in all, no one had been punched, and this could have barely been considered a physical fight, meaning that everyone should have been able to brush this off and leave for their well-deserved weekend.

But Kevin just had to try and catch himself, putting his hands back before he hit the ground. And that hadn’t been all that good for his left wrist. His hand had healed well, but there is only so much healing a fucked-up wrist can do. It sometimes flares up randomly and hurts if he moves it weirdly.

So, breaking a fall like that must have sent one hell of a flash of pain through it, judging by Kevin’s terrified squeak and the way he immediately pulled his hand back up cradling it with his right hand. His eyes were ripped open, and he was staring his wrist down as if he was expecting it to crumble away at any moment. He started shaking and his breaths became shorter and faster.

Fuck, he’s going to have a panic attack.

Kevin opened his mouth as if he wanted to speak, but he only managed a choked noise before more ragged breaths rattled him.

Aaron reached Kevin before any of the others, well, except for Justin. He was crouching in front of Kevin, all fight had left him as he flailed his arms uselessly, not knowing what to do.
Aaron shoved him to the side a bit too violently probably, but his main concern was Kevin, whose eyes were still stuck on his wrist, slowly filling with tears.

“Kevin? Kevin! You’re okay, you just landed on it weirdly. That happened before, do you remember? We’ll cool it, you’ll be fine.”

Kevin didn’t even look up at him. By now he had started silently crying, tears running down his cheeks, as he gasped for air.

Around them, the others were getting louder, crowding them in. Aaron turned around and snapped at them.

“Go get Abby! And then get the fuck out of here, he doesn’t need everyone gawking at him like this!”

He didn’t wait for them to follow his orders, instead putting a hand on Kevin's chest and another on his cheek, making his gaze finally break away from his wrist to look at Aaron.

“Hey, you’re okay. Try and breathe with me.”

He was taking slow and deliberate breaths, willing Kevin to do them with him. His gasps slowly turned into just slightly longer wheezes, still cut off at the end and barely even actual breaths. But he still smiled at Kevin, telling him he was doing well. It didn’t take long after that for him to return to more normal breaths, ones that actually got oxygen in his lungs.

 

Aaron kept his breathing deliberately slow and visible for Kevin, while wiping his tears away with his thumb, hoping that Kevin wouldn’t start to spiral again. Kevin was still looking at him, but for the first time in minutes, it felt like he was actually looking at him, and not right through.

“Hey, you’re okay. Abby will take a look at it, and you’ll be fine.”

Kevin swallowed and nodded his head, before slowly letting go of his own wrist and hovering his hands between their bodies, hesitating. It took Aaron a second to catch up to what Kevin wanted.

“You need a hug?”

He hoped he wasn’t wrong, that would be awkward. But he had to ask since Kevin looked so scared and lost, sitting in front of him.

Kevin still didn’t speak, just nodded again, and that’s all Aaron really needed to sit up on his knees and slowly warp his arms around him. Kevin buried his face in the crook of his neck since he was still almost as tall as Aaron like this. His right hand pressed into his back, but his left was noticeably just lightly touching him, it probably still hurt.

Aaron had just started running his hands through Kevin’s hair in a soothing motion when Abby arrived with Andrew and Neil in tow. His instinctual reaction would be to push Kevin away, to let go, so they aren’t seen like this. But he just couldn’t get himself to let go, even under Andrews's cold stare.

Abby smiled at him when she reached them, and Aaron tapped Kevin to make him look up at her. He did for a second, and then immediately looked back down at the ground while she asked him how he was. His response was soft and quiet, very unlike him. He was being shy.

Cute

“It already doesn’t hurt as bad anymore. It was only super intense for a second, like someone stabbed me right in the wrist. After that, it just kept throbbing and feeling like pins and needles, but now it’s almost gone. “

His shoulders slumped and he let out a sigh, as if disappointed with himself.

“I just kind of freaked out.”

Abby put her hand on his shoulder, catching his eyes before smiling gently at him.

“That’s okay, it's completely understandable that this would scare you. Let’s take a look at it, can you walk with me to the infirmary?”

“Sure, one second.”

Aaron carefully helped him up, Kevin standing still for a second, to see if his legs would support him. Then he let go of Aarons's hand and gave him a small grateful smile before turning towards Abby.

“You guys can go change already, I won’t be long. Don’t leave without me!”

He said it jokingly, but he obviously meant it, they all knew about his fear of being left alone.

“We might.” “We would never.”

The twins looked at each other when they noticed they had answered at the same time, before Aaron turned away, annoyed. Would it kill his brother to be nice to Kevin just once?

About twenty minutes later their small group was gathered around the car, waiting for Kevin, so they could leave. Logically, Aaron knew that Kevin also had to shower and get dressed, and he was still in a normal timeframe for that. But there was always the worry in the back of his mind, that he had been hurt worse than they initially assumed.

He kept shifting his weight from one leg to the other while pretending to be on his phone, although his eyes kept wandering back to the entrance of the court.

Where is he? If he doesn’t show up soon, I’m going to go look for him.

Out of his peripheral vision, he could tell that Andrew was staring at him. Had been this entire time. He had tried to ignore it, but he was getting irritated, nerves already thinned by worry. So, he snapped his head towards his brother.

“What?”

“What a lovely display of concern from you. Especially earlier.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean? As if you wouldn’t be the same if this was about Neil- or me and Nicky.”

Nice save.

“He is a future doctor, so it makes sense that he is just extra caring when it comes to people in distress.”

Nicky had come over and thrown his arm around Aaron. He was glad at least one person was there to back him up. He wanted to thank his cousin, but before he could Nicky gave him a squeeze and continued, albeit a bit quieter.

“He’s going to be fine, don’t worry too much.”

He looked up at Nicky, surprised. His cousin had used his soft tone, the one that is usually reserved for when Aaron is worried about exams or on the rare occasions he vents to Nicky about Andrew. It always gave Nicky an almost parental feeling, as if he was wise beyond his years. Whenever he talks like that Aaron can’t help but feel like he must be right, everything would be okay.

And instead of trying to deny being worried he just nodded and pulled the corners of his mouth up into barely a smile. Nicky beamed back at him and ruffled through his hair, before Andrew, of course, had to interrupt their nice moment.

“Sure. I’ve just never seen him console someone that affectionately before.”

Yes, I did. You.

That thought never made its way from his brain to his mouth. He would not bring that up right now.

Instead, he huffed and turned away from his twin. Maybe ignoring him would make him stop. But someone else decided to chime in anyway.

“I thought it was sweet.”

Nicky might have actually meant that if he had said it. But since it was Neil who said that, Aaron knew it was to tease him.

Nicky had been nice to him, and he didn’t know what to say to Andrew, so he focused all his negative emotions on Neil.

“Oh my god Josten, could you take this at least a little more seriously? Kevin was-“

He stopped when the door opened and Kevin came jogging towards them, looking relieved they were still there. Idiot, as if Aaron would just go without him.

He almost got whiplash from how fast his frown turned into a smile as he turned from Neil to Kevin. He took a few steps towards the other, who came to a stop in front of him. For a second, they just looked at each other.

“Well, how is your wrist?”

Kevin held it up in front of Aaron, showing off the tape wrapped around it to stabilise it.

“I’ll just have to cool it and keep it still for a little bit. She said it might hurt for like a day or two, but then it would be fine.”

Aaron grinned up at him, relieved, before lightly punching him in the arm.

“That’s good, with how much you scared me earlier I thought it might be broken.”

Kevin just shrugged and smiled apologetically.

“Yeah, I’m sorry for freaking out, I didn’t want-“

“It’s okay, I’m glad I could help you.”

They went back to just looking at each other, before remembering that there were other people here as well when Neil cleared his throat. They looked over at everyone watching them, Neil being the one who broke the silence again.

“Come on, I thought we wanted to get to Columbia today.”

***

As a treat for Kevin, Aaron had agreed to spend their drive watching exy games on his phone with him. He would have normally rather died than subject himself to two hours of non-stop exy, but Kevin's happiness was more important than Aaron’s comfort right now.

At first, Kevin had been completely focused on the games, while Aaron tried not to get too annoyed by the sports commentator’s constant screaming, which seemed way too loud through the headphones he shared with Kevin.
But by now they were about half an hour away from their destination and he could tell Kevin was becoming restless. He kept shifting around, rotating his injured wrist experimentally and lightly kneading it, before putting the cooling pack back on it, only to repeat everything after a few minutes.

After he had repeated that whole act for the third time, Aaron had had enough. He paused the game and turned to Kevin, sending him a knowing look, ready to scold him.

“Kevin, I can tell that you’re uncomfortable. If your wrist hurts you should take a few painkillers, I know Abby gave you some.”

Kevin looked caught, glancing around at everything in the car but Aaron.

“No, it's not that bad yet.”

“You keep fidgeting around, so it must be pretty bad. Just take them.”

“I don’t have to take painkillers yet, it’s really okay.”

Aaron raised an unconvinced eyebrow, before crossing his arms.

“What’s the actual reason that you’re being so stubborn right now?”

Kevin finally looked at him, stunned at having been found out, before sighing and looking out the window.

“She said that if I take them, I shouldn’t drink any alcohol. And I’m not going to Eden’s sober, that sounds like my actual nightmare.”

There it was, he knew there had to be some stupid reason. He should just tell Kevin to suck it up, he could manage for one night. But, before he could stop himself, he spoke.

“Well, then I guess we’re not going to Eden’s today.”

Both Nicky and Kevin whipped their heads at him in disbelief. His cousin practically shouted at him in shock.

“What?! Aaron, you love going there!”

“Well, this time I’d love to just stay back in the house and maybe watch something.”

He turned from Nicky back to Kevin, feeling caught in between them, but standing by his decision. Kevin glanced at him as if he was uncomfortable, before looking back to where he was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. He looked kind of guilty.

“Aaron, you really don’t have to-“

“You can choose what we watch. It can even be exy.”

“...really?”

Of course, that was what convinced him.

“Sure, whatever you want, Kev.”

At this even Neil turned around in the passenger seat and stared Aaron down as if he had lost his mind. Then he turned to Andrew and spoke through gritted teeth.

“Andrew, are you hearing this?”

What was everyone’s problem right now?

He locked eyes with his twin in the mirror, refusing to be the first to look away, and after a few seconds, Andrew shrugged.

“They can do whatever they want, we're still going, with or without them.”

Aaron had to fight everything in him not to smile like an idiot. It somehow felt like a big deal that Andrew didn’t start a fight over this. That he just agreed and let him, even though he was right, they were grown men, they could decide for themselves what they wanted to do.
He still felt vindicated, and, crossing his arms, he nodded at his twin.

“Thank you, Andrew. “

He couldn’t remember the last time he truly and honestly thanked Andrew. The others seemingly couldn’t remember either since he got some more incredulous looks.

He ignored them and grabbed Kevin’s bag, digging out the painkillers.

***

After they had been dropped off at the house, Aaron went straight to his room, with Kevin trailing behind, walking slower. As Aaron sat down on the bed, he noticed Kevin had stopped in the doorway.

“What, are you a vampire that needs to be invited in first? Come on, I meant it, let’s watch something.”

They got settled on the bed, the laptop propped up on their legs, and Kevin picked out which game they should watch. It wasn’t all that interesting to Aaron, but he supposed it was a fair trade-off to Kevin being in pain the entire evening. He still could only fake his attention for so long, and after the third or so game he began nodding off, head on Kevin’s shoulder. When he heard the audio suddenly stop, he blinked his eyes back open. Kevin had paused the video and was leaning forward to look at him.

“I think we watched enough, do you want to choose now, or do something else?”

Kevin was so close again, that he was momentarily distracted by the fact he could see his individual lashes. His throat felt dry, and his heart rate picked back up.

“No, it's fine, I’m just tired. I think I would fall asleep no matter what we watched.”

To his surprise, Kevin simply nodded and clapped the laptop closed.

“Then we can go to bed, I’m also super tired somehow.”

“Well, a panic attack can be exhausting.”

Kevin groaned and stretched his arms before sinking down further on the bed.

“Ugh, don’t remind me. That was so embarrassing, in front of everyone. All because of that asshole.”

Aaron huffed in amusement, that reminded him of something.

“That asshole has a name by the way, and it's Justin, not Jason, as you called him during your little spat.”

Kevin blinked in surprise before looking at Aaron mortified. He had to suppress a chuckle at the other’s face.
He really didn’t remember his name.

“Oh. I didn’t even notice. I thought his name was…. oh god.”

He buried his face in his hands, while Aaron patted him on the shoulder reassuringly.

“It's okay, you can just say it was in the heat of the moment. I think he also felt really bad after he pushed you.”

“Yeah, but I slapped him first, I should have myself under control better by now.”

“You usually do. I was also surprised, normally you can walk away from something like that more easily.”

“But did you hear what he said about you? I couldn’t just…ugh, I shouldn’t have brought you up at all, of course, he would say something.”

Now Aaron grinned at Kevin, at least he could see how he was a part of the problem.

“Yeah, please don’t drag me into your catfight next time. Although I did feel honoured by your compliments, Day.”

Kevin finally lifted his head out of his hands and fixed Aaron with a serious stare.

“I did mean it. You’re an amazing backliner, and Ja-Justin could learn a thing or two from you.”

He shouldn’t be this affected by a compliment about his exy skills, but coming from Kevin Day, those were rare and always meant honestly. So, it wasn’t his fault how flustered he got.

“Um, thanks… I-I think I should look at your wrist one more time before we go to sleep.”

He picked up Kevin's hand fast but carefully. He just needed to distract himself from the warm feeling all over him. You really couldn’t see much at all, it wasn’t swollen or anything. So, Aaron quickly decided they could both get ready for bed, and Kevin should just put some water and painkillers next to his side of the bed. Then he got up and went to the bathroom to calm his beating heart down.

His side of the bed.

They had not discussed it, it was just obvious to both of them that Kevin would sleep here. And that he now had his own side of the bed in Aaron’s room. That thought stuck in his mind the entire time he got ready for bed. By the time he came back and crawled under the covers, it was all he could think about.

Kevin is getting ready in the bathroom, and then coming back here, into my room, to sleep with me in my bed.

He had to turn the lights off so that Kevin wouldn’t see his face when he came back. He heard him cross the room quietly and felt his heart stutter when he felt the dip in the mattress as Kevin got in.

They lay there for a while, turned towards each other, but not speaking. He noticed that Kevin couldn’t seem to settle down, shifting constantly. Maybe he was feeling brave because of the darkness, but he reached for Kevin's hand without much thought. The other immediately stilled, and Aaron softly brushed his thumb over Kevin’s taped wrist, hoping it would calm him. They couldn’t see each other, but he could feel Kevin’s quickening pulse under his fingers. He could also feel how hot Kevins hand was against his own.

“How are your hands always this warm?”

“I don’t know, it’s just how they’ve always been. Funny that you mention it, that’s what Jean always said, too. He called me his own personal furnace sometimes.”

Aaron just hummed to signal that he had heard what Kevin had said. He didn’t know how to respond to that. There was a feeling that this meant something, that there was more to that story, but he didn’t want to pry.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have brought him up.”

That confused Aaron, had he missed something?

“Hey, you don’t need to apologize for that. Of course you can talk about Jean, why shouldn’t you?”

The time it took Kevin to answer, told him that he wasn’t sure why he had said that, either.

“I…don’t know. I guess it doesn’t matter.”

Aaron stayed silent, lost in thought.

What if he and Jean were…

No, that’s stupid.
Even if Kevin and Jean had been a… thing, that would just be another part of the giant cosmic joke that was Aaron’s life. Jean was quite literally Aaron’s opposite in every way. Taller than Kevin, dark-haired and definitely more even-tempered. So, he didn’t want them to have been a thing, anyway.

Why was he even thinking about this?

He didn’t like Kevin that way, he couldn’t. That would be so pathetic and sad of him, falling for someone so out of his league. He just felt all weird and confused because he was lonely after the breakup, that had to be it.

He huffed in frustration, he was thinking about the most unnecessary bullshit again. He never let go of Kevin's hand, but he did shift to lay on his back.

“I just hope my wrist gets better again. I’m so scared it will get worse at some point and just not heal anymore. And then I’ll always be in pain.”

Kevin had mumbled it so quietly and into the pillow that Aaron almost didn’t catch it. He felt sick, here he was thinking about completely inconsequential things, while Kevin was literally fearing for his future, right next to him.

He wanted to say something, to console him, to make everything better. And before he could stop himself, he pulled Kevin’s hand up and placed a soft kiss on his wrist.

“It will get better, I’ll make sure of it. I’m going to be a doctor, I can take care of you.”

Kevin didn’t respond to that, and after a few seconds, he hoped that Kevin had somehow fallen asleep before he had done all that.

Why did I say it like that? Did I just kiss his wrist? What’s wrong with me?

After what felt like an eternity of spiralling for Aaron, Kevin quietly spoke up.

“Thank you, for everything. You’re a really, really good person, Aaron. I’m so glad I have you.”

Aaron almost didn’t hear that over the sound of his heart beating. Those words made tears pool in his eyes, they had been so honest, so full of fondness that he almost started bawling. He pretended to be asleep already since he didn’t know what to say to that, even though there was no way that Kevin didn’t know he was awake.

But seemingly taking the hint, Kevin didn’t say anything else, just staying silent. After a few minutes, he heard Kevin’s breathing evening out, so he could finally relax, wiping his tears away.

And if he still held on to his hand while he drifted to sleep, so what?

Notes:

Damn Kevin, why are you bringing up your ex when in bed with your...something?

Aaron is still trying really hard to be in denial isn't he? Well, not for long!

(When I wrote Nicky seeing Aaron in Kevin's hoodie I kept thinking of that one gif of Rowley from Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Iykyk.)

Im writing more for this than any of the billion assignments I could be doing by now :P

Last chapter is already half done, so that will be out soon I hope, I always struggle a bit with writing endings to things, but I'll power through. >.<