Chapter Text
“Come on, you’re the one with the crown and the outfit. You’re way over qualified.” Jen says, in her best sales voice, peeking around the Kaplans’ curtains at their backyard.
“Nice try.” Billy hisses back. “But if you think I’m going out there in the middle of that, you’re insane.”
“Well someone has to do something.” Rebecca breaks in, folding her arms. “Dinner’s getting cold.”
Jeff shoots a nervous glance toward the front of the house. “And this isn’t Westview, where you guys can just do whatever and the neighbors don’t care. If one of them starts shooting lasers, someone’s gonna call the cops.”
Which, Billy is aware, will probably lead to a mass casualty event.
He groans.
To his father, he mutters, “We don’t technically shoot lasers,” before turning to Jen and frowning at her.
“You know, for a centuries old witch, you sure are a chicken shit.” He says firmly, before closing his eyes to focus on his power.
“Language, Billy.” Rebecca scolds, while Jen chuckles.
“How do you think I got to be centuries old?” Jen winks at him. “Go get ‘em tiger.”
His crown slides into place, and his clothes shift. He sighs, and opens the sliding glass door, out to stop the melee.
Four Hours Earlier
“Jen! We weren’t sure who was coming tonight!” Rebecca says, genuinely delighted. Billy smiles at her, before receiving a hug, never mind he’s barely in the front doorway.
“Hey, Rebecca.” Jen gives a little wave, moving to take off her shoes, and letting Wanda trail in behind her.
“Wanda!” Rebecca says, her eyes warm. “Welcome in.”
Wanda’s shy smile is buried under her scarf as she struggles to get her coat off- before Jeff gives her a hand.
Rebecca peers around Wanda with a little trepidation, before asking: “Is Agatha-“
There’s a swirl of violet, and Agatha appears in the living room behind them, grinning. “Aw, sweetheart- did someone miss me?”
Rebecca rolls her eyes, way too used to this by now, while Jen snorts and asks, “Don’t you have your hands full?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Agatha chirps back immediately.
“She had to run some errands, so she came separately.” Wanda explains with a shrug, ignoring Agatha’s shenanigans- the best way to get her to stop was to starve her of an audience. “Hi Jeff, it’s good to see you.”
“Yes, hello John.” Agatha says with a cheery little wave, already going to make herself at home on her favorite sofa.
Billy doesn’t think that she’s once gotten his father’s name right- although she seems to recall his mother’s every time, with no issue.
He tries not to analyze that one too deeply. For his own sanity.
Early on in this little routine, Billy had made the executive decision that having the entire coven over, every single Friday, was way too much of a burden for his birth parents- especially considering they refused to take the money Wanda offered them (that she in turn had liberated from Agatha’s ill gotten, offshore accounts).
(“Can’t you guys just, make money?” Tommy had once asked, waving a hand around.
“No.” Lilia, Jen, and Agatha had all replied at the same time, before Agatha added. “If we started just magicking money into the economy, do you know how quickly we’d be eating shit from the feds?”
Tommy scowls, crossing his arms. “Sorry I’m not that familiar with the ‘economy’,” he adds in air quotes, highlighting his disdain.
“It’s more that we’ve seen it before, dear.” Lilia explains serenely. “Other witches have tried it, and they almost always get caught out, after a time. And that leads to a certain amount of… unpleasantness.”
“It’s better to use our powers for more normal financial crimes.” Jen shrugs. “The kind that always seems to be overlooked. Like what Agatha did to the stock market in the 80s- same outcome, much less of a trail that screams ‘Witch over here!’ ” Jen rolls her eyes looking both annoyed and impressed.
Agatha smirks. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“And yet, you still have an oddly specific recall of what does and doesn’t attract FTC attention.” Jen snaps back.
Agatha fully grinned at that. “It’s not my fault other people are bad with numbers.”
“Which explains why we use her credit card for everything.” Lilia stage whispers to Tommy, who hides a grin.)
There was absolutely no way to explain any of this, however, to Billy’s parents- who saw that apparently no one but Jen had a real job (and even then Rebecca had wrinkled her nose at the idea of an “influencer”), and thus refused to take any money from them. They think Wanda needs it.
Billy really, really didn’t want to have to tell them that a significant portion of being a witch involves becoming very good at a variety of illegal activities. So he keeps his peace.
But, since Billy decided that the entire coven shouldn’t come every time, it means the Friday dinner rotation varies- it’s always Wanda of course. And where Wanda goes, Agatha’s never far behind. Which means that the rest of the coven rotates for the last seat at the Shabbat table; although by nearly unanimous vote, Rio has been left off the invite list.
(Rio doesn’t actually need to eat, Agatha had once explained- thus when she does, she prefers things with very strong flavors. “Like me!” Agatha said, with a wink. Billy had thrown a magic bolt at her for that one, which she neatly siphoned off him with a laugh.
“Strong flavors” translates into raw meat, rotten vegetables, mushrooms that would kill anything else, live insects; while the rest of the coven will munch on popcorn for movie night, Rio prefers a bowl of mealworms. That sort of thing.
Billy loves his birth parents too much to put them through an evening of that. Thus, Rio’s permanent disinvite.)
Things had been going well. Billy was a little self conscious, at first, about introducing the different members of the coven to the Shabbat prayers and rituals- but he shouldn’t have worried. Turns out, of the coven, only Tommy had never actually been to a Shabbat. “We’re witches, Teen.” Lilia had teased him gently. “We love chanting, candles, and singing. There’s a lot of overlap.”
Billy supposed she was right. And felt a little foolish for assuming that his centuries old housemates hadn’t ever been invited to one before- even Agatha’s socially ostracized self had apparently been in the past, though she refused to disclose the details (which probably meant everyone involved had died shortly after, Billy thought with a sigh. She is predictable, at least in that way).
This was Jen’s second trip to the Kaplans’ and she was as charming as ever. Billy was actually mildly impressed with how normal most of his coven could appear when they were making the effort- and it did make him happy, to know that they were trying; all for his sake. (He supposes it does make sense- they had survived for centuries, they could all be normal. Ish. Kind of.)
More of a miracle- Agatha was at least mildly behaved, for her. Billy can tell by the amount of psychic static he’s picking up that its taking Wanda a lot of effort to keep her PG-13; but beyond Agatha’s weird flirtation with his moms (both of them, yuck) and occasional off the cuff reminders that she lurked in this house for a few months as a ghost- everything is kind of… pleasant. Relaxing.
Unfortunately, this is his life, so that was never going to last forever. They’ve just sliced into the brisket when both Wanda and Agatha look up, staring into the middle distance, freezing; Billy thinks for a second they look alarmingly like a pair of wolves that have just caught onto a scent.
Obviously, the rest of the table notices. Jen takes a long pull of her wine with a heavy sigh. “What now?”
“Someone’s knocking on the wards.” Wanda says distractedly, but when she blinks, her eyes have ignited.
“What wards?” Rebecca asks, looking concerned.
“We warded your house.” Jen says, waving a hand. “It wasn’t a big thing, but we didn’t want someone sneaking in here and lurking around.” Jen smiles sympathetically. “You’ve had enough of that.”
Agatha’s already moving her hands, and wisps of violet, like smoke, are starting to creep into existence. “If we don’t let him in, he’s just going to come back with more help.” She murmurs.
“Absolutely not.” Wanda hisses. “You know he’s only here because he thinks I did something.”
Billy sighs and reaches out with his own magic. There’s someone just outside the protective bubble that they’ve placed around the house- a man, with a neatly trimmed goatee, strange blue robes, topped off with a red cloak. He raises his hand, and knocks politely on the magical shield- the magic under his knuckles shimmering into the visual spectrum and glimmering iridescent like a soap bubble, before vanishing again.
Billy raises an eyebrow. “Who’s that?”
“Doctor Strange.” Wanda growls, and Billy scowls. He knows that name.
Rebecca snorts. “No, seriously, what’s his real name?”
Agatha smirks. “I regret to inform you that the former Sorcerer Supreme of this dimension is quite literally named Stephen Strange.”
“Like, legally?” Rebecca blinks at her.
“On his birth certificate.” Agatha nods, and Billy bites his tongue, not asking her how she knows that. Not the time.
“I hate sorcerers.” Jen groans.
“I don’t think anyone’s disputing how much they suck.” Agatha nods, and she smirks at Wanda; Billy just knows she’s about to make a comment about Wanda’s rampage at Kamar-Taj, so Billy cuts her off.
“If we let him in, can we not have a fight with him in my parents’ living room?” Billy asks, trying not to sound like he’s negotiating.
“We’re not letting him in.” Wanda says firmly, but she’s rapidly shoveling down the rest of her meal, as though she’s spoiling for the fight.
“I don’t know Wands- you know I never say this, but Agatha’s got a point.” Jen takes a bite of her challah. “If we don’t talk to him now, he’s just going to come back with friends.” She raises an eyebrow. “Unless, you want to have another round-”
“Fine.” Wanda snaps. “Let him in.” Her accent is thick in her mouth, like when she’s truly upset, and Billy meets her eye gently, wishing he could reach her hand across the table.
“Erhm.” Jeff makes a strangled noise from the foot of the table, and oh, right, they’re not at their own house.
“Sorry Dad.” Billy says guiltily. “So, this guy, Doctor Strange, wants to talk to us- well probably just to Wanda.”
“Is this going to get violent?” Jeff looks worried.
“No.” Wanda says shortly. “He won’t try it with me.”
“The rest of us are here too, darling.” Agatha reminds Wanda, “Don’t worry your mortal heads, we’ll contain him if he gets mouthy.” She shoots Rebecca a wink, and Billy resists the strong urge to send a blast at her from across the table.
Wanda’s fist glows, and she opens the wards. There’s a moment, and then there’s a spiraling, orange ring of light that forms in the living room- like the trail of a sparkler, that opens a window in the air. On the other side is the man, Doctor Strange, who steps through it, hands glowing orange.
He makes eye contact with Wanda, and as the portal seals behind him- he releases the spell in his hands.
Vibrant bands of red flicker out of his palms- lashes of energy that snag and snarl around Wanda’s arms; pinning them to her sides.
“The Crimson Bands? What are we, in grade school?” Agatha laughs, while Wanda rolls her eyes. She’s not resisting at all, just sitting in her seat at the table and looking deeply annoyed.
“Hi Stephen.” Wanda drawls, still unbothered by the sizzling bands that are lining her arms- she should probably be burning, but she’s clearly electing not to be. “Long time, no see.”
Strange looks to the next face at the table, clearly hoping to find something that makes more sense.
Instead, he finds Agatha. “You.” He almost shouts, pointing at her- who treats him to her most sinister grin.
Strange looks flustered, Billy thinks with a small sigh. Horrible tactical decision on his end- Agatha can smell weakness, like a shark.
“Imagine her hissy fit if he hadn’t recognized her.” Jen mutters to Billy as she leans back in her chair, giving Strange a wave. “I’m Jennifer Kale, by the way. I’m famous too but-” She wrinkles her nose. “With those pores, you’ve clearly not heard of me.”
Billy legitimately chokes as he tries not to laugh at the expression on Strange’s face.
“Do they still have my wanted posted up in Kamar-Taj? Or was it destroyed during the… renovation?” Agatha tilts an eyebrow at Strange, clearly curious. At Wanda’s inquisitive look over the snap and crack of whatever spell Strange has on her, Agatha shrugs. “You know how it is, you borrow one thing from a girl one time-“
“You looted the library of every scroll that even mentioned the Darkhold, and helped yourself to half a dozen relics on the way out.” Strange finally finds his words, frowning deeply at her, clearly trying to moderate his voice.
“That’s on you guys.” Jen says, shaking her head. “If your security is that bad, you’re sort of lucky it wasn’t worse.”
“She killed ten people!” Strange does yell this time.
“Ah, there it is.” Jen snorts.
“Now, now, that was self defence.” Agatha says placating.
“That’s what you always say.” Wanda mutters.
“I’m not sure you’re in a position to be throwing stones here.” Agatha snipes back.
Wanda goes to put up her hands in surrender to the point, and then they both seem to remember that she’s bound.
“Really?” Wanda says, looking over at Stephen in a huff. “You do know I’m just letting you do this, right?”
Stephen opens his mouth to argue, but Agatha’s much faster. “Yes and I’m the only one who’s allowed to tie her up.” She purrs.
“In front of my salad?” Jen waves a fork at the pair of them, and Billy resists the urge to see if he actually can teleport them all to the moon. Instead he steeples his fingers.
“Letting you all have access to the internet was a mistake.” Billy announces to the table at large, and hoping to salvage some of his own dignity from this situation, he glares at Strange.
“Hi!” Billy clears his throat. “I’m Billy, these are my parents Jeff and Rebecca, and you are in our house.”
Strange frowns at him, peering at his face, looking incredibly confused. “I’m sorry- but why are the Scarlet Witch and Agatha Harkness having dinner with you and your parents?”
“And me!” Jen pipes up, outraged.
“And you.” Strange amends.
Wanda chuckles, and with a shrug, breaks the binding Strange has on her with no visible effort.
Strange blinks. “You shouldn’t be able to do that.”
“We get that a lot.” Billy says with a sigh, and lets some of his own magic shimmer out, blue rippling over his palm in intricate geometry. “I’m Billy, Billy Kaplan.” He smiles at Strange with his best shit eating grin (he did learn from the master, after all). “But I’m also Billy Maximoff.”
Strange blinks. And looks at him, then at Wanda, then his birth parents, who have been watching this unfold with trepidation (Jeff) and thinly veiled amusement (Rebecca). Then back at him, his eyes widening.
“Wanda.” Strange says slowly. “What did you do?”
Wanda’s hands flicker, and her blackened fingers shimmer through her glamor. Agatha smirks and her own glamor drips off her claws in a much more practiced gesture, like shadows fleeing back into the corners.
Strange catches all of this, naturally. “What- what did you do?” His breath catches in horror. “How did you get the Darkhold back?”
“Why do you just assume I did anything?” Wanda folds her arms, pouting slightly, though her eyes are lit with a kind of dark amusement.
Out of the corner of his eye, Billy sees Agatha shooting him a look- he freezes, considering.
That’s one of her expressions she uses to prompt him to run a con with her- but what’s the… oh no.
Strange was not going to accept the very, very sanitized story they told his mom and dad. The one that edited out the majority of the murders, accidental deaths, and attempted killings between members of the coven while they sorted out their… personal issues.
His parents have thus far been very, very cool about this entire situation. If they find out about the whole- Book of the Damned, Herald of the Apocalypse, Coven Serial Killer, and actual Death -thing; they are probably going to be a lot less cool.
Shit. Right.
Billy rolls his eyes, exaggerating slightly, to let Agatha know he’s picking up what she’s laying down.
“Everyone, out.” Billy orders, folding his arms.
Wanda and Strange stare at him, confused. Neither had been particularly aggressive toward the other- despite Strange arriving through the portal, metaphorical guns blazing.
“No fighting in the house. Agatha.” Billy says, pointedly.
(She’d not really signaled a play here, so he’s going to pivot to what comes naturally- blaming her).
Agatha pulls a dark, suspicious shimmering hand out from under the table. “Who, me?” She asks, in her most innocent voice.
Strange immediately backs up, as Wanda sighs. “Must you?”
“What?” Agatha says blithely. “He’s ruining dinner.”
Jen folds her arms- Billy can tell she knows they’re doing a bit, but she’s mercifully going along with it. “What’s the plan here, Agatha? You murder the Sorcerer Supreme, and we all have dessert?”
“Former Sorcerer Supreme.” Wanda smirks, taking the opportunity to twist the verbal knife.
“Figure it out outside.” Billy sighs. “I can already see where this is going.”
Strange raises one of his well groomed eyebrows. “Where is this going?”
Billy picks up a butter knife and points it at him. “You’re about to accuse Wanda of necromancy.” He points the knife at Wanda. “She’s going to accuse you of being a hypocrite, and be pretty offended about the necromancy comment.”
He points the knife at Agatha. “You’re going to make a very gross joke about Death and bodies.”
Agatha gasps as though highly offended but her eyes are glittering with amusement.
“You’re going to end up fighting.” Billy concludes. He points the knife back at Strange. “Backyard. Not in the house where I’m going to end up cleaning it up because ‘it’s good practice’.” He finishes in his best Agatha impression.
Strange puts up his hands, conceding, while Wanda raises an eyebrow and without standing, teleports to the backyard in a shimmer of scarlet. A moment later, Agatha too vanishes, in a whiff of black smoke.
Strange gives the table a sardonic little bow, and exits through more mundane means.
“If they kill him back there, they’re basically ringing a dinner bell for you know who.” Jen says conversationally, still finishing her salad, utterly unconcerned- as is her way lately in the face of her coven’s shenanigans. Billy thinks she’s gotten way too used to this- she used to shriek at them a lot more.
“Who, R-“ Rebecca starts, but Billy gestures at her, cutting her off.
“We try not to say her name.” Billy explains. “It attracts her, and it makes Agatha and Wanda get… weirder.”
“Weirder?” Jeff wheezes.
“Agatha’s a show off.” Jen explains, dabbing her mouth delicately with a napkin. “This is delicious by the way. And she’s never had to compete for you know who’s attention before.” Jen grins. “Now, Wanda gives her competition.”
“Wait- how,” Jeff starts but Rebecca cuts him off.
“I thought they were divorced?” Rebecca asks, curious. “Alice said they were divorced.”
Billy looks at Jen. “Could they even technically have gotten married?”
“Like legally? Or like metaphysically? Because the answer to both those questions is: mind your own business.” Jen says firmly. “If you don’t ask, you won’t learn things that will make your brain melt.”
“Who is she? You know who?” Jeff breaks in, looking very concerned, and completely missing the point of what Jen just said.
Billy sighs. This is exactly the kind of conversation he was trying to avoid by sending the others outside.
Fortunately, if no one else has him, Jen has him. “You know who is the first Green Witch.” Jen explains, threading the needle neatly on the truth. “But that means she’s incredibly ancient. And deeply weird. Thus- not very good at being a person. Which is why she’s not invited to dinner.”
“Are you all witches with different colors?” Rebecca asks curiously. “Are you the Pink Witch?”
Jen chuckles. “I’d rebrand that way if I thought I could get away with it. No, it’s just those two freaks- it’s a witch lore thing, don’t worry about it.”
They’re interrupted by a flare of light from outside.
Then: one thing leads to another, and Billy’s heading outside.
Things have escalated out here- Wanda’s in her armor, the cracks in her face showing. Agatha’s in her battle dress, and looks like she’s ready to strike, her claws sparking.
Strange meanwhile, is hovering about a foot off the lawn, looking alarmed.
“I cannot let you have the Darkhold, Wanda.” Strange rumbles.
“You have no authority over her.” Agatha glowers.
“I don’t have it.” Wanda holds out her hands. “Technically no one has it. We explained it to you Stephen. No one has it, so no one can use it alone- and so none of us can be driven insane again.”
“Its existence is a threat.” Stephen intones. “It’s dark magic, even in half. Wanda, you can’t use it, and I trust her,” he gestures at Agatha, “about as far as I can throw her-”
“What kind of arrogance-“ Agatha hisses, and Billy cringes; there’s nothing that sets Agatha off faster than a man telling a witch what to do.
Strange closes his eyes, and when he looks at them again, something else moves on his forehead- as a third eye blinks open, dead center.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa.” Billy walks in the middle of this impending fight, his hands up- in his experience, when people start sprouting extra body parts, it means they’re getting ready to rumble. “Since he’s not yelling about the Darkhold in thirds, I take it he doesn’t know about you know who?”
That neatly derails the confrontation.
“There’s a third one of them?” Strange’s boots hit the lawn as he stops hovering, looking like he’s got a migraine forming.
“Oh, that’s what gets you to back off?” Agatha snarls, baring her teeth.
“I’m not taking on a trinity of the two most powerful witches in existence, and a third one whose name you won’t speak.” Strange says simply. “I know you people are most powerful in threes, and I thought the third one of you was the kid.”
Billy rolls his own eyes, knowing it makes him look like Agatha, but right now he doesn’t give a shit. Out of the corner of his vision, he can see his mothers getting very upset at the underestimation of his own skills, but Strange has already proven himself to be an idiot- and every time he opens his mouth, he’s making it worse.
“To be clear, this was me, saving your life.” Billy points out. “You couldn’t beat either of them separately, let alone together. Or me, for that matter.” He folds his arms.
Strange looks slightly mutinous at this idea, but Billy gives him a glare. “You’re welcome.” Billy says firmly. “For saving you from being drained dry, or scattered into a billion pieces across the universe. Or the third, worse thing from you know who.”
Strange doesn’t need to know that Rio can’t actually kill him. (She is pretty good at torture though, so maybe Strange would consider that worse).
“I try not to siphon sorcerers anymore.” Agatha cuts in.“They’re terribly dry, it’s hell on the digestion.”
“Go away Stephen.” Wanda says firmly. “Before we throw you out. I’m not doing anything wrong, and neither are they.”
“Wanda, you laid waste to Kamar-Taj, and you killed dozens of people.” Stephen intones, self righteous. “You have to answer for that.”
“Come and take her then.” Agatha grins, and it’s her scary one- Billy shivers just a little at it.
Wanda sticks out her chin. “I was magically insane.”
“From the very book you’re now defending having remade.” Stephen points out. “It’s the darkest of magic- nothing good can come of it.”
“So what, you want her to surrender herself, and the Darkhold?” Agatha laughs incredulously. “Witches don’t answer to sorcerers, of all people.”
The air behind Strange starts to shimmer.
Billy tilts his head, looking at it, curiously. Strange doesn’t appear to notice.
“We are the protectors of the Earth from magical threats-“
“Says who?” Agatha cuts him off, her hand starting to glow again, clearly losing patience with the conversation.
A rift opens in the air behind Strange, like a cut into nothing, before it opens to darkness; then, it ripples, and someone passes through it, stepping next to Strange.
It’s a woman; her hair long and blonde, in purple armor, her eyes fierce.
She’s also radiating dark magic- Billy can feel it in his teeth, just by looking at her. She looks at Strange, who sighs.
“I’m doing just fine here.” Strange says, gesturing broadly.
“It’s been half an hour. I told you, if you weren’t back in time, I was going in after you.” The woman says, her accent strange, as she folds her arms, frowning.
The newcomer looks over at them, arrayed on their side of the yard, and freezes, staring at Agatha, before she snarls. “You.”
Wanda glances at Agatha, her expression both fond and exasperated. “Popular today, aren’t you?”
Agatha chuckles. “I can’t help it darling, I’m irresistible.” To the new lady, she twirls her fingers in a wave. “Clea. Long time, no see- how’s the family?” That last question is delivered with a smirk like the edge of a razor.
Clea doesn’t reply, but rather, fires a bolt of dark energy at Agatha- who catches and consumes it in a blink. “Want to try that again?” Agatha taunts.
Wanda looks between Strange and Clea, her eyes glowing- then she gasps, her telepathy clearly getting something, and her hands ignite. “You fucking hypocrite.” She hisses, and starts to stalk toward Strange.
Billy’s eyes widen in alarm, and he steps forward, grabbing her by the arm, halting her. “What is it?” He asks quietly.
“She’s the Sorcerer Supreme of the Dark Dimension.” Wanda snaps. “She’s literally made of dark magic.”
“She’s also Dormammu’s niece.” Agatha drawls helpfully.
“And they’re actually dating. He’s with her, after the lecture you just gave us about the dangers of dark magic.” Wanda snarls.
Strange freezes, and turns, staring at Clea, who is glaring daggers at Agatha. “I’m sorry, you’re whose niece?” He asks, slowly.
“Agatha Harkness, I’m going to fucking kill you.” Clea starts to twist her hands, but Strange is still frozen in place.
“She’s not lying?” Strange asks, clearly trying to wrap his mind around what Agatha just said.
Agatha grins. “Not about this, am I sweetheart?”
Wanda groans. “Have you ever left a relationship where the other woman didn’t want to kill you?” She asks over her shoulder at Agatha, who shrugs.
“What can I say? I’m a real ladies’ man.” Agatha quips as she ignites her own hands, squaring up with Clea across the yard- just in time, as Clea lunges at her, purple, translucent blades in either hand. Agatha parries with black and violet blasts; but Billy notices she doesn’t immediately take to the air.
(He’s a little touched that she's still trying to preserve his parents’ cover with the neighbors. This is her version of subtle.)
Wanda closes the distance to Strange, who’s standing still, poleaxed. Wanda’s still got one hand glowing, but she puts it out with a flick when she sees Strange isn’t moving. Billy follows her, wanting to give the dueling violet mages some room.
“You really didn’t know, did you?” Wanda says, surprisingly gentle, over the sound of the clash behind them.
“I mean, I knew where she was from.” Strange says slowly. “But not-“ He puts his head in his hand.
Wanda slowly reaches out, and puts one of her clawed hands on his shoulder.
Strange takes a deep breath, and then another, before turning to look at Wanda with wild eyes.
Wanda smiles at him, encouragingly. “Is she good to you?” She asks suddenly, changing the topic so rapidly, Billy almost misses the question.
Strange blinks at her, just as confused. “What?”
“Is she good to you?” Wanda repeats.
“I-“ Strange considers her question, before nodding. “Yes. Yes she is.”
Wanda shrugs. “Then the rest of it is just noise. Everyone has a history- what matters is the relationship between the two of you; no matter where they come from, what they’ve done or what dark magic is involved. Or… who their family happens to be.”
Clea lets out a yell as Agatha launches her into a tree trunk, bark splintering around her; Agatha cackles.
“What’s wrong honey? I remember you having more… endurance.” Agatha smirks, and Wanda groans.
“She probably knows not to blast her continuously, right?” Billy asks nervously.
“Probably?” Wanda says, shrugging- that’s not her problem.
Strange seems to have had an epiphany, and his eyes focus, looking at Wanda. “You’re really with her?” He nods over at Agatha, who is busily stopping Clea from casting something complex by repeatedly launching bolts of lightning from her hands.
Wanda, of all things, giggles. “It’s complicated?” She says, her voice rising at the end, but she’s smiling at Agatha, her face going all mushy- it’s a weird contrast to the molten cracks in her face and the horned crown on her head.
Billy clears his throat, loudly. “It’s better not to ask.” He advises Strange. “Trust me.”
“Is she… is she good to you?” Strange pushes, and what is it today with people not backing off when Billy warns them.
“Yes.” Wanda tilts her head up and winks at Strange. “They both are.”
Strange stares at her, and Billy sighs.
“I’m all for letting Agatha wear herself out.” Wanda moves on, ignoring Strange’s expression- instead she stares at the fight, contemplating. “But the backyard-“
“Break them up please.” Billy asks, firmly.
“Agatha.” Wanda calls over to her, her voice amplified magically. “Enough.”
Agatha twirls her hands, and teleports- just as Clea slashes at her again. Agatha appears behind Wanda, draping herself over her shoulders languidly. “Yes dear?”
She’s not even winded, that bitch.
Clea stalks toward them, blades still in hand, until Strange steps over to her, and starts muttering in her ear. They stare at each other, before Clea sighs, and they press their foreheads together.
Billy does have to admit- it’s cute.
Strange looks back at them, before glancing at Clea, coming to a decision. “Let me know if you need help, Wanda. I’m trusting you- about the Darkhold.” He says carefully- but his tone indicates this is about Agatha as well. “You were right; the risk is reduced if it’s spread out among more people, I was just-“
“Prejudiced and self righteous?” Agatha interjects.
Wanda smiles. “Wrapped up in your own head?” She says, sweetly.
Strange grins sardonically. “Something like that.”
Wanda gives him a little wave, while Agatha huffs. “Fuck off Strange.”
Strange rolls his eyes, and from behind him, Clea glares at Agatha again.
“Always a pleasure, Agatha.” Clea says darkly. “If I see you again-”
“Blah blah, death threat, I’m the best you’ll ever have, we get it- beat it, and go make up with Doctor Inferiority Complex.” Agatha flips her hair over her shoulder, still mostly draped over Wanda, and Billy snorts.
Clea snarls, but Strange puts his hand on her waist, restraining her. She gives Agatha one last stare, before she opens a portal with a careless slash, and with a final glance- Strange and Clea vanish through the rift, as it closes behind them.
Wanda immediately rounds on Agatha, poking her in the chest, as Agatha puts up her hands. “What did you do to the Sorcerer Supreme of the Dark Dimension?”
“Darling-“ Agatha glances at Billy. “Do you really want the reenactment in front of the kid?”
Wanda groans. “You know that’s not what- I mean, what did you steal from her?”
Agatha smirks, and is going to reply- when Jen pokes her head out of the backdoor. “Are you guys done with whatever that was? Because Rebecca’s got dessert, but she won’t give it to me until everyone comes back inside.”
Wanda drops her armor, and pulls her human glamor back on, in two crisp flicks of her hands. “This isn’t over.”
“Oh, I’m counting on it.” Agatha murmurs, her dress shimmering back into her more normal clothes.
Billy closes his eyes, and wrinkles his nose; his armor vanishes too.
“Good job honey.” Wanda says with a smile, while Agatha gives him a small wink.
Billy grins back, as the praise warms him to his toes.
They go back inside, and Rebecca gives him (and him alone) two helpings of dessert.