Work Text:
The blood on your hands is too much to bear
With nothing left now you sit and you stare
The loss of a life, the loss of a friend
The loss of yourself to your feral head
— - —
“No… no no no NONONO!” Romeo screams out, staring down at the scene before him. He couldn’t control himself, he couldn’t- he didn’t want this to happen. His hands covered in sticky blue blood, still warm, a golden sword laying beside him, tossed away in fear or his own actions.
Fred, lying in front of him, choking on his own blood.
Romeo squeezed his eyes shut, needing to go away, needing to wake up from this nightmare. He heard himself scream in agony, his mind blank from the intensity of his emotion. He tried to wipe his tears away with his arm, feeling his friend’s blood get on his face. He screams again.
“I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’m so sorry I’msorryI’msorryI’msorryI’MSOFUCKINGSORRY,” Romeo’s words spill out in nothing less than a string of syllables, falling on deaf ears. This couldn’t be happening, this had to be a nightmare. He didn’t just do this, this was all a bad dream, he had to wake up.
He heard the choking stop, and he saw Fred lay there, still and unmoving, blue blood still pooling from his chest. Romeo screamed out again, not knowing what else he could do in that moment. Out of the corner of his eye he registered Xara sprint out the door, and he was alone, alone with what he did. Alone with the body of his closest friend. He just kept screaming and sobbing, unintelligible pleas for forgiveness and prayers for things to go back to just a few moments ago mixing into an incoherent trail of agony.
He did this. He killed his best friend, he fucking killed his best friend. The blood was on his hands and his alone, it was his fault. It was all his fault.
— - —
You try to reverse the damage inflicted
You sob and you cry and yet still you relive it
Years ahead of you this moment shall echo
Without the privilege yearned to live and to let go
— - —
Romeo hadn’t been outside for months, maybe a full year at this point. He couldn’t face anyone out there, he couldn’t face himself. He wished he could take his own powers away, he wished he could fucking end this once and for all, but he couldn’t. He had to live with what he had done, without a chance of repentance.
He just wanted to fucking die. It would only be right, after all that he’d done.
Romeo was crying again, he felt like a monster. He was. Fred was dead, Xara was locked up in the Sunshine Institute, Fred’s people were left behind with nothing left to rely on. He knew Binta knew. He knew she wanted him dead.
At least they had that in common.
Romeo had held on to Fred’s gauntlet, not wanting to fully leave him behind. He knew it was stupid, but he felt better when he held it. Not by a lot. Romeo would sometimes talk to the gauntlet when he felt unstable, speaking as if Fred could hear. He would apologise, beg for him to come back, scream in agony like he did on that fateful day. Sometimes though, he’d just talk like things were normal, sometimes closing his eyes and pretending Fred was there, next to him, that this all had never happened. He’d open his eyes and feel worse than before.
He needed to talk to Binta, he knew that, but he was terrified. Not of her attacking him, but of what she’d say. The fact that every hateful word would be right.
— - —
The power within you controls what you think
You never controlled when you fell off the brink
A harrowing story, a sight to behold
Your hands now covered in blood painted gold
— - —
Romeo looked down at this new world. He had been working nonstop, trying to get every little detail right. He went off of what Fred had told him about how he generated the overworld, trying to make it as similar as possible. The Nether was straightforward enough to remake since it was Romeo’s realm already, and the End was structurally simple, just a few specific islands here and there.
Ever since he had bedrocked over what he had now taken to calling the “Underneath”, Romeo felt a renewed sense of power and vigour. Leaving behind that world almost felt like leaving behind his horrible memories, in a way it was. After what Binta had said to him… it’s what he had to do.
Romeo smiled, feeling pride in this world, his world. He was planning on moving some people from the Underneath to this new world, but that would come later. For now, he could just revel in finally being the one in control, the god of a new beginning. He’d get it right this time, he had to. He needed so badly for people to love him, to adore him.
He needed friends again.