Chapter Text
You have to wait only a couple moments before the door is opened.
“Y/n?” Jeonghan’s brows are furrowed. “You…”
You cut him off. “Can I come in?”
He just steps back effectively answering your question with silence.
His apartment is the same as you remember: dark blue colours with silver accents in the form of small metal statues. There are reproductions of old Shibyia photographs on the walls and a single photo of the four of you - him, you, Joshua and Jeonghan - framed on the small table near the couch. His weird pet rock right next to it.
“How are you feeling? What are you doing here?” He asks closing the door quietly. “You should be resting.”
“I really don’t recommend telling me what to do after the stunt you’ve pulled.” You say with a sigh, taking a seat on the couch. “Sit down, Han, we need to talk.”
His head cocks slightly as if he’s trying to crack you, your plan, what are you up to coming to his place right after what he’s sprung on you. But wisely he chooses to follow your instructions and take a seat next to you.
“If you really believe that I’ll leave you, you’re an idiot.”
He looks at you confused.
“Don’t look at me like that.” You bite back. “I’m not going back to you but I will not leave you in this wether you want it or not.”
Jeonghan looks down.
“How could you not tell me?” You wonder out loud, there’s disappointment in your voice you cannot hide.
“Because I know you.” He replies quietly. “You’re selfless.”
“And you’re stupid.”
Your answer is a melodic laugh as he throws his head back, laughing. You would lie if you said you didn’t miss it, his laugh.
“I guess it’s a fitting response.” He says finally with a chuckle.
“Tell me.” You say but in reality you’re asking.
You’re asking him to trust you. With this as well as everything else he’s ever trusted you with. Asking him to confide in you about how scared he was knowing how hard for him it will be to admit something like this. Asking him to help you rebuild the friendship that is still not blown away in the wind.
He does.
You cry.
He does too.
The two of you cry for what could have been, for everything that there was.
“How did it go?” Hao asks when you’re back to your apartment.
You don’t answer at first, tugging the coat from your body and slipping off the boots. You collapse next to him on the couch, head falling to his shoulder. “It hurts.”
“It hurts because what the two of you had mattered.” He says softly, one of his hands encircling you, fingers splaying on your shoulder.
“I feel…I’m still angry he didn’t tell me. I can understand why. But I’m angry. And and at the same time I can’t be angry because….he’s…” You turn to look Minghao in the eyes. “He’s my friend. And he was very scared. And alone.”
He hugs you closer.
“And I…I didn’t see anything? How is it possible that I didn’t see anything?”
Hao doesn’t say anything, turning on the couch so that you can comfortably sit between his legs, your back to his front as he hugs you and you hold his long hands closer to you body. “It will be okey.” He promises.
“I bet you didn’t expect this mess when you saw a girl in the bar.” You let out with a bitter chuckle.
He drops a kiss on the top of your head. “I didn’t care.”
You push yourself more into his chest.
“I didn’t think and didn’t care. There was only you.” He mutters into your hair.
There’s the unspoken understanding that makes you cry even more. More. More. More.
…because no matter what this feels like it’s only been one week that you’ve met. A whirlwind of emotions and sex and then you living together and playing relationship.
but…
This is not how you start something serious. And you want it to be serious. Very much.
But you and Jeonghan broke up half a year ago only for you to find out that he is sick and broke up with you because he didn’t want you to be stuck with him. The digestion of this all is too hard, too heavy.
“You need time.” Minghao is the one to say it even if both of you feel it. His voice cracks and you feel his chest take uneasy breaths.
His hold is tight. So very tight.
“…I do.” You whisper through the tears.
You sleep on the couch in each other’s embrace, your head under his chin and legs entwined.
In the morning you go to the airport to see him off. It’s a gloom weather. The mood isn’t lighter.
Before he has to leave his fingers squeeze yours tightly and he bends his head capturing your lips. Long, soft, desperate kiss is all you have for now.
Minghao’s mouth opens to say something but you shake your head no because it’s not the place or the time.
You kiss his cheek and he goes.
A little more and you don’t see his tall figure behind all the other passengers that are heading to the customs.
That night you’re at Jeonghan’s with Joshua, Seungkwan and Vernon who’s peacefully sleeping from partying the previous night away in the guest room, there’s a Star Wars marathon.
You’re squeezed between Jeonghan and Joshua, Joshua’s hand in yours and Jeonghan is nodding off on your shoulder. And if the tears come running down again when it’s revealed who Luke’s father is you don’t pay any mind and hope they believe you when you say it’s just the movie. Of course they don’t but you’re getting your family back together and right now you all have to be here and work on this. Everything else will have to wait.
Winter is rough this year but you’ve got a lot of work and truly don’t let yourself look out of the window too much.
You and Seungkwan (who didn’t know anything as well) had a crush course in Schizophrenia. You know all the meds you need to check if your friend is consuming because you’re the self-appointed sheriffs of the town; you know what the signs look like that Jeonghan might go into an episode or what he’s having a bad day.
Sometimes you and Minghao text each other, sometimes even call but when it comes to work Junhui is one in charge of your companies interactions.
“Someday I hope to see the two of you together again.” Joshua once said to you.
“You do?”
“Yeah.” He nods. “You were really happy.”
“Wasn’t I happy when you saw me with Jeonghan?”
“This one was different. It was effortless.”
You don’t reply. It was.
You and Joshua get Vernon into the rehab. He was adamant not to go but when his favourite Hyung insisted (Jeonghan because it’s always Jeonghan hyung for Vernon) Vernon reluctantly agreed.
That’s how spring rolls in. Ice melts and the flowers finally start to bloom.
All the flowers.
The air feels different in this city. If you were asked how, you would be able to explain absolutely nothing. But for you it does.
The driver picks you up from the airport and there’s only one destination on your mind. And it’s not a hotel.
The building reminds you of some futuristic tower from a science fiction book as you step in, small heels clicking on the marble floor. The elevator ride is not eventful thankfully as you look through the glass walls at the magnificence of Shanghai.
“Can I help you?” The receptionist asks as soon as you’re out of the elevator. Thankfully she does so in English.
Before you can reply another voice slices through the air: “I’ll take it from here.”
Wen Junhui is smiling at you, he has the whitest teeth and is dressed to the nines. You take a couple steps closer and surprisingly you’re wrapped in a bear hug which after the shock wears off you gladly reciprocate.
“Tell me it’s a social visit and not work!” He says as soon as he steps back and shows you inside the spacious office space.
“It is.” You say easily though you’re pretty sure there’s pink colouring your cheeks.
“Thank god…” He mumbles. “I’ll take you to the office. Those were pretty grumpy months for me…”
You let out a breathy chuckle.
“Yeah, laugh all you want but eating lunch with a stone wall that pouts and doesn’t really talk is depressing.” Junhui complains. “And when the wall does talk you start praying for it to shut up.”
When you’re at the door with Xu Minghao in a calligraphic letters in gold on it he almost pushes you in. “Go on in.”
At first you think there’s no one in the office. It’s rather dark with black-coloured wood and lavish furniture.
You turn your head and suddenly there he is. A lone dark silhouette facing the window, looking down at his phone. He’s half illusion in all black. You note his hair is cut shorter but you can’t imagine something that will be able to ruin his looks.
You knock on the desk in front of you.
Surprised, Minghao turns around. His eyes grow wider. “Y/n…” He mutters your name.
“My first time in Shanghai.” You admit.
He still hasn’t moved yet.
So you continue: “I don’t like hotels and you owe me.”
There’s a moment before he realises what you’re talking about. A grin spreads on his handsome features. “You wanna crush on my couch?”
“I was hoping it would be a bed.”
“Where am I suppose to sleep then if you take my bed?” His question is sly as he steps closer; he does it slowly as if still afraid that you’ll bolt if he does something wrong.
“If memory serves me right we were just fine sharing last time.” You take one step forward too.
“So is this it? You just want what I owe you from the last time?”
At this point you’re just inches apart.
“No.” You say. “I want you.”
He’s still waiting.
“All of you. I want everything. Just like I wanted it last time.” You say, hoping he will believe you. “Now just more.”
His smile is soft, tender. Just like you remember.
“I want everything too.” He whispers before claiming your lips finally.
Finally. And it’s a dream.
His lips glide over yours, hands on your neck, holding your chin up for him as your hands settle on his wrists. You moan into his mouth as the feeling of utter warmth explodes in your stomach.
“I was waiting for this day..” Hao whispers, lips still touching yours as he speaks.
Your hands wave around him, hugging him closer, head settling on his chest, wanting to once again feel his solid warmth. He hugs back tight.
It’s good now. It feels more right. Less rushed.
It felt right back then too but now it is perfect.