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The morale of the Penrose-512 mission had never been higher, all thanks to my relationship with one Gestalt Officer Ariane Yeong. The fact that I could call Ari my girlfriend felt strange, for two reasons. One was that the word ‘girlfriend’ confused me; the term ‘girlfriend’ implied to me that it referred to a girl who was a friend, when in fact it meant much more,and two, Replika were not allowed to have relationships, we were servants of the state and nothing more, but here in the vast reaches of space, I could have the life I desired so much. For those reasons, I prefered to use the word: ‘partner.’
It was cycle eight-hundred-and-eighty-five, after the end of our duties. Ariane wanted to listen to music and cuddle, but she struggled to find the specific record she wanted in the cluttered mess that was her room. I suggested that she clean up her room so she didn’t have to search through the clutter. Ari bemoaned it of course, and commented on my deadpan snark, which I apparently have in spades, but she complied with my suggestion.
“Have you ever considered that I simply have a system?” Ari asked as she picked up a box from the edge of the room.
“Not a very useful system, since you keep losing things here,” I answered from the bed as I folded Ari’s laundry.
Ariane scoffed. “Well, as I always say, nothing is ever lost, only misplaced.”
“One, I’ve never heard you say that, and two, misplaced is defined as temporarily lost. Something misplaced is lost by definition.”
Ariane groaned as she set the box on the floor by the bed. “You win this round babe.”
My reaction to my victory was muted, a small upturn of the left of my mouth and a chuff of air escaping my nostrils, the sight and sound of which made Ari giggle. It was so cute when Ariane laughed, she covered her mouth sheepishly every time and it was always a treat to witness. Every day there was joy to be found in our relationship, and I treasured every single moment.
Ariane sat down in front of the box and began thumbing through the contents. “Oh, look at this!” Ariane claimed as she pulled out a small bag. “This was another gift from the Itous.”
“What is it?”
“It’s a makeup bag!” Ariane answered as she pulled out various makeup instruments from brushes to lipstick to foundation and everything in between. At first, Ariane looked excited to find the makeup, but her expression soured with time. “Unfortunately, I never learned how to use makeup. And it’s not like anyone here could teach me out here.”
It was unfortunate that… wait.
“I think… I know how to use makeup.”
Ari looked up at my statement. “You do?”
“Yeah…” I sounded so hesitant because of my unit type, LSTRs are engineers and combat drones, why would I be built with knowledge on makeup? But the knowledge was there, that much was true. “Maybe my neural doner knew about makeup… and I got that information when I was built.”
“Oh my goodness, that means you can teach me!” Her excited bouncy energy returned. Ariane’s hands shook in the air and her whole body rocked back and forth.
“I guess I could. I'd like to practice first, to make sure that my information is accurate.”
“Sure thing!”
When I said that I wanted to practice before teaching Ariane what I know, I didn't mean I would practice right this second, but that's how Ari interpreted what I said. She beckoned me to stand up and once I did, she hastily took the laundry I worked on folding and dumped them all on the ground.
“Alright!” Ari said exuberantly as she sat down on her bunk, her back completely straight.
My optic module focused on the now cluttered mound of laundry. “Did you really have to throw that?”
Ariane didn't answer, but she didn't need to. I was very familiar with this state of Ariane, hyper-focused, not paying attention to anything else, not even her own bodily needs. There was no deterring her. I would know, I've tried.
“Okay, fine,” I dejectedly said as I took the bag from Ariane's hands. From previous experiences in this bunk, I knew that the top of the bunk had a reading light that Ari would make use of whenever she couldn't sleep. I turned the lamp on to brighten up the face that would become my workspace, which blinked rapidly from the sudden change in lighting. Now there was only the matter of finding the proper position. I needed to be somewhat close and centered on Ari to make sure I would apply the makeup correctly, and I had an idea of how I would do it. I just needed to make sure Ariane was okay with it.
“I need to get close to you, are you okay with that?”
Ariane nodded enthusiastically, “Yeah, that's fine!”
With consent given to me, I stepped forward. I planted my knees on either side of Ariane's legs, straddling her lap. I made sure my kneecaps and hooves were secure before I looked up. Ari was… honestly I couldn't say what her reaction was. A patch of bright red had erupted on her cheeks, and her eyes were wild as they trailed up and down my form. Her hands gripped the sheets like she would fly away if she didn't. This was concerning.
“Are you okay?” I asked, making sure I wasn't doing anything to harm Ari.
Ari didn't look up at me as she answered with a lazy “yeah…” her eyes continuing to look at every part of me. It was a little embarrassing, being observed so closely. What about my body did she find so fascinating? It was a standard LSTR frame, just the same as all the other ones that came off the assembly line. Nothing impressive.
In an instant I remembered my objective here: I was to apply makeup to Ariane to see if my intrinsic knowledge of the subject was accurate. This was the reason for all of this, and if I wanted the strange atmosphere to clear, then I needed to finish my task.
I whispered words of self-affirmation as I rummaged through the makeup bag and pulled out a circular container of foundation. “I’m going to start now,”
Ariane wordlessly nodded, and I began this unfamiliar task.
I opened the container of foundation and inside rested a fine powder with a thin circular sponge for application purposes. I took the sponge delicately in my polyethylene hands, pressed it into the powder three times, and raised it to Ariane’s face.
“If these strange instincts are accurate, then foundation is for evening out skin tone and covering imperfections,” I explained as I patted Ariane’s cheeks with the sponge. We were lucky that the foundation matched Ari’s skintone, or else it would look unnatural, the foundation did a good job smoothing over Ariane’s facial features. Earlier when I rummaged through the makeup bag I noticed a small mirror, so I pulled it out and handed it to Ari. “What do you think?”
Ariane gasped at her appearance whispering, “I already look so much better!”
… She said it like she didn’t already look amazing. Ari would always complain about her appearance, from her white hair to her red eyes, her pale skin and her lack of curves. She fell short of the beauty standard she described in the movies we had watched, but that didn’t mean that Araine wasn’t beautiful. Learning about art has taught me that there are several standards, more than I could possibly count, that could assess someone’s beauty. In terms of the standard I used to assess someone’s physical appearance, Ari was the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, and no other Gestalt I had ever met compared to her. Her eyes shone like a lighthouse, guiding me to safer waters. Her hair… I couldn’t even describe how I loved her hair, all I know is that I loved it. Perhaps it was due to the nature of my hair. Replika were born with a specific hairstyle in mind, LSTR units included. My hair couldn’t grow past the point it was at now. If I cut it, the follicles would simply regrow until my hair was back in its perfect shape. I could only dream of my hair looking as beautiful as Ariane’s.
But enough of my affections, I had makeup to apply. From the makeup bag, I pulled out a tube of eyeliner, colored a brilliant red. The cap twisted off to reveal a brush perfect for applying it. “Try to stay still for this.”
Ariane looked unsure, and I could understand why. I could imagine having something that close to my eye would be uncomfortable. But Ariane steeled herself anyway and gave a firm nod. With that, I began slowly raising the brush to Ariane’s eyes. Every centimeter of movement made Ariane lean farther backward away from me, so to keep Ari stable I placed my left hand against Ariane’s cheek and held her face to prevent too much movement.
The presence of my hand on Ari’s cheek made her face erupt even further. Her blush became a distinct red and her eyes widened and focused on me. The look on her face… my familiarity with facial expressions was middling, but even I could tell that Ariane’s look was one of desire. I had seen it before during our many intimate moments, but never this strong.
I paused for a moment to assess, did I feel the same way? Yes… I think I did. At that moment I felt a desire stronger than I ever imagined possible. I wanted to throw away the makeup and kiss Ariane with a passion unfitting for LSTR units. I wanted to feel her smooth skin and touch her in ways I hadn’t before. I wanted to push our bodies closer together, all in search of something I didn’t understand. The way she looked at me, filled with a similar want, only made this emotion stronger. We stayed that way for a while, basking in our desire for each other, silently begging for something to release the tension. But with my knowledge of what was happening to me painfully thin, I had no idea how to continue this.
I shook my head in an attempt to clear up my emotions and continue with my task. With robotic efficiency I painted Ariane’s eyeliner on the borders of her eye sockets, trailing color over her eyes. Ariane did a good job staying still, with the help from my hand keeping her steady. In no time at all the eyeliner was applied perfectly.
It looked like my knowledge of makeup was accurate.
My hand left Ariane’s face as I moved back, giving Ariane the space to look at herself in the mirror. She stared at herself in the mirror for a while and studied her features. Her hand trailed along her cheeks, basking in the beauty.
“This is amazing…” The mirror fell from Ari’s grip as she looked up at me. “You are amazing.”
Her hands touched my face, and it took everything not to immediately grasp Ariane’s body. “Do you have any idea what you do to me, my magpie?”
The sides of my mouth turned upward. “I don't want to speak for you.”
“I know you’re just saying that because you want to hear me say it,” Ariane pointed out. She wasn’t wrong at all, I had an addiction to hearing compliments from my beloved. Callouts like this one never failed to make me feel sheepish; I chuckled as my eyes turned away, but Ariane grasped my cheek and kept me facing forward. With those red eyes staring into my optic modules, she continued. “You make me feel things I’ve never experienced before. You’ve crawled into my heart, and there is no way I could ever replace you, because you’re just too perfect.”
“I doubt I’m-”
“Elster.” The use of my full name made me halt in my tracks. “I know you value my opinion, and my opinion is that you are perfect. Why do you deny it?”
The answer came to me after some contemplation. “Because I am not satisfied with who I am.”
We had discussed this aspect of myself before. It was something unchangeable, we couldn’t exactly make a flesh-and-blood body for me out of the parts on the Penrose, leaving me in a body I detested.
Ariane sighed so sweetly and began to rub her hands on my sides. “I’m so sorry Ellie. If it helps, I don’t look down on you for your body at all. To me, it’s beautiful. You don’t have to be anything more.”
It did help, at least a little. I had an idea as to something else that could help me too. “Ariane?”
“Yes, magpie?”
Why did I hesitate when I knew that the answer would always be yes? “... Can I kiss you?”
Ariane scoffed, but not in a disrespectful, ‘No of course you can’t kiss me, you freak’, but in an incredulous, ‘God yes, you don’t need to ask, just do it’. Ariane didn’t hesitate to wrap her arms around my neck and pull me close.
It was like all of our kisses. Warm, like a comfortable blanket in the cold of winter, and soft, like the feathery touch of a masterful engineer. Full of emotion, like all of the best confession scenes from movies rolled into one glorious package. In other words, it was perfect. Our lips moved together in time; I fitted against her almost like I was built for her. Warmth built up in my chest, and I felt a similar warmth build up in Ariane too, I could tell from the moans that escaped past her lips. Her hands travelled down my body and…
…She put them in places I couldn’t understand at the time. Her left gripped my rear end like she was holding onto dear life. Her right did the same, except against my chest plate. She pushed and grabbed against me as if she expected something to give, but nothing did.
Ariane must have noticed my confusion because she quickly pulled herself away from me. Her voice wavered with a hesitancy that was rare for her, “Ellie… did… Did you get anything from that?”
“Just the feeling that you were touching me there.”
“Do you… ever want to do more than just kiss?” Ariane leaned back as far as she could, as if she felt ashamed from asking the question. It was a perfectly normal question with no bias or implicit statements hidden within, just an honest question about my desires.
“Kissing is enough for me.” And I truly meant it. The feelings of desire before made me want to ask for more, but how could I? Ariane had already done so much for me, helping me grow into the Replika I was then. I didn’t need her to do anything more. The way that Ariane looked, so ashamed and full of hesitancy, made me think that I had given a wrong answer. “Is everything alright Ari?”
Silently, Ari pushed against my stomach. She didn’t have the strength to do it, but the action communicated what she wanted from me. As she requested I stepped back off her lap and stood in the center of her quarters. Ari looked so dejected, her entire body turning inward and collapsing on her side against the bunk.
“You should leave…” Ariane’s voice shakily stated.
Something was definitely wrong. “Ari, I-”
“Elster.”
Just like before, the use of my full name drove me to a halt. I didn’t move a muscle, and neither did Ariane. I was afraid of upsetting my beloved. What was Ariane afraid of?
“Please leave me alone,” Ariane stated definitively. “This is for the best.”
I wanted to fall on the floor and beg to stay. Please Ariane, please let me help you in whatever is happening, I don’t want to leave you alone. I’m right here, I can help you, why are you pushing me away? But I couldn’t do any of that. I was built to serve, and going against the will of the Gestalt Officer was grounds for decommissioning.
So I slowly walked out of quarters, leaving Ariane to cry alone. As soon as I was sure she wouldn’t hear, I slammed my fist into my head, again and again and again. The pain receptors flared up, it was agony, but I relished it. Why? It just felt natural. My emotions needed a way out of me, and the avenue I chose was violence against myself.
I did this, somehow. This was my fault.
The separation lasted three cycles.
“Dance with me?” Ariane asked suddenly as she opened the door to maintenance, dressed in her white sleeping gown and a pair of boots. The most distinct feature of Ariane’s appearance was the presence of a light layer of makeup on her face. It was uneven and hastily applied, she would need a lot more practice before she got it looking right, but it still made Ariane look stunning.
Though, why did she go through the effort?
The few cycles since that horrible moment were filled with lingering gazes and a desperate wish for everything to be alright. My rational mind knew that the best way of fixing our issues was to simply talk through them, but my emotional state begged me to stay away. It felt agonizing to keep such distance from my lover. Both feelings resulted in a strange contradiction that left me agonizing for any kind of release and the distance must have been as agonizing for her as it was for me. I said yes of course, how could I not? This was a sign of consent, that Ariane was willing to approach me, that she wanted us to recover. I couldn't pass that up.
Ariane prepared the observatory for this occasion, pushing the armchairs to the walls and perching her record player on the side table. It was far from the dance halls found in the most extravagant of film productions, but it was serviceable for the two of us to dance. Yes, dancing. The action that I definitely knew how to perform. All LSTR units were taught how to dance in basic training. It was part of our neural pattern. I supposed that Ariane would enjoy these sarcastic thoughts of mine, but I was too confused to vocalize them.
“I don't know how to dance,” I said simply as the needle fell lower and lower, filling the room with static that transitioned into Shubert.
“I'll teach you then.” The way she said, so casually with so little energy, it felt so alien to the Ari I knew who would jump up and down and relish in the act of teaching me something new, oftentimes going too fast for me to understand what she was saying. This Ariane was reserved. She faced away from me and kept her distance.
It was worrying, definitely, but I didn't allow myself to lose hope. Our relationship was stronger than… whatever this was, I knew that for sure. I had a hunch that this was some way for Ariane to broach the subject of what had happened between us. So to make Ariane comfortable, I would go along with this.
Wordlessly, Ariane moved me into position, centering us both in the center of the room. Her hands intertwined with mine.
“Step in time with me,” Ariane explained as the music continued softly in the background. “We can move up to more complicated dances later.”
And with that, we began.
The dance we performed was a simple fair compared to the dances I had seen in films, but to an inexperienced novice, even simple tasks held the risk of failure. The specific failure I worried about was stepping on Ariane’s feet. My chassis was incredibly heavy, and stepping on Ariane’s foot would hurt her immensely.
“You don’t have to worry about that,” Ariane said, somehow reading my thoughts. “These boots are steel-toed.”
Well, that abated my fears, if only a little bit. I still made sure to step back slightly so my hooves wouldn’t ever impact Ari’s feet before I looked up at Ariane directly. Her gaze was focused on my neck, likely watching as the plates moved as my head turned.
“I’m sorry,” Ariane eventually said, her gaze falling even lower.
“For what?” I asked.
“For what happened a few cycles ago.”
“Ah. that. I don’t understand what happened there. Did I do something wrong?”
“No, it wasn’t you,” Ariane explained with haste. “The fault is with me… I acted without your consent.”
… No she didn’t? “You always have consent to touch me. We’ve talked about this.”
Ariane’s hands clenched mine harder as she shook with a nervous energy. This conversation was not going how she expected. “The issue was with how I touched you. I mean, you should know! That made you stop.”
“I stopped because you have never touched me like that before. I wasn’t against it, I was just a little confused.”
This conversation was going nowhere fast. The breakdown in communication was worse than anything I had experienced with Ariane before, my fears made manifest. A struggling Gestalt woman and a struggling Replika, both known for troubles with communication, were simply victims of circumstance. I could tell that Ariane was feeling worse and worse.
This had to end.
I let go of Ari’s hands for a moment to wrap them instead around her waist and pulled her into a comforting hug. Ariane’s arms wrapped around me like she would fly away if she let go.
“It might help to think of something else. I have a question to ask you anyway.”
What was Ari thinking? If only I had the same powers of intuition that Ariane apparently had. I had to rely on what I could see with my own two eyes. Ariane nuzzled into my chestplate before suddenly jerking away and locking her eyes to my face.
I took that as a gesture to continue. “That cycle, I felt this intense emotion that I don’t fully understand. It felt like a more passionate version of what I usually feel when I think of you.”
“... Romance?” Ari hesitantly asked.
“Yes, that. It was very intense, like a fire. It made me want to touch you, more than I’ve ever done it before. I felt this drive to go further, but I don’t know where it’s pointing.” A beat passed. I closed my eyes to assess my feelings again. The swirling emotions I held inside of me slowed to a more manageable speed. At this speed, I could recognize, “I’m feeling this emotion again now.”
What did I expect to see when I opened my eyes? I didn’t expect much of anything, to be honest, maybe Ariane looked inquisitive as she pondered my question. Instead, Ariane stared at me with wide eyes as a brilliant red blush spread across her face.
“I, uh- well,” Ariane struggled to say as she separated from me and held her hand from the back of her neck. “Ellie, uh, you’re horny. That’s what that’s called.”
Horny, another unfamiliar word. I had no context for it, but considering that Ariane’s blush was only growing brighter and brighter, it was one that triggered embarrassment in my lover.
“Are you okay, Ariane?”
“No! I’m not okay!” Ariane practically yelled as she stepped back further. “I thought I violated you, that you didn't feel anything like that, and now you tell me that you're- that you're…”
“Wait, wait, stop!” This was all getting out of hand! “I don't know what's happening! How do any of these things connect?”
Ariane's mouth opened to respond, but nothing came out. She made no sound at all as her jaw slowly dropped and her entire frame froze in place. A question danced on the edge of her lips, whispered at first but the volume grew with time.
“Elster… you do know what sex is, right?”
Oh of all the incredulity! “Oh my goodness, yes! I know what sex is!”
“Okay, thank goodness.”
“I just don’t know how that relates to what is going on here.”
Was that a mistake to say? The pause in the conversation that happened after that suggested that yes, it was a mistake. Ariane looked at me now with a sort of bemused incredulity.
Me and my stupid mouth decided to continue, “Well, we’re both girls and I’m a Replika, so…” And with that, my mistake was established and the consequences were realized. Ariane sluggishly walked away and faced a corner. Her knees collapsed onto the ground. “Ari, please. don’t do this to me.”
Hysterical laughter from Ariane filled the observation deck as she collapsed even further, landing on her side and curling into the fetal position. Her laughter showed no sign of stopping, in fact it seemed to only get worse. My shame only grew and grew with each passing second. How shameful that I could do such a thing to my beloved! How horrible I was to hurt my Ariane so! I stepped away, intending to give Ari space to recover. Then proper punishment could be delivered.
“Wait, Ellie, wait!” Ariane spoke between gasps. “It’s okay! Help me up!”
So many conflicting emotions swirled within my processors that I could barely form a coherent thought, but the command from Ariane jolted me from that state. I needed to be there for her after all, she gave me a direct request. I marched forward and pulled Ari up to her feet. The poor Gestalt woman struggled to stand on legs weakened by laughter, so she leaned against my frame.
Calming words from my lover filled my ears, “It’s okay Ellie. You did nothing wrong. You’re just so innocent it made me laugh.”
Now that everything was slowing down, only one thought dominated my processing space, “That is probably the worst miscommunication we’ve ever had.”
“Yeah,” Ari agreed simply, before wrapping herself tighter around me. We stood there for a while, enjoying each other's embrace, letting the turmoil of the last several cycles wash away. “But hey, we have all of that in the open.”
“You’ll need to explain all of that to me. I’m not sure I understand it.”
Ari opened her mouth for a moment, before slamming it shut and stepping back. She looked contemplative, trying to find the best way to explain all of this. A brief lean to look behind me made me turn around, the only notable thing was one of the armchairs facing me perfectly straight just a few steps behind me. But was that-
Soft hands impacted my breastplate and pushed, the force wouldn’t be enough to push me back normally, but the surprise from the suddenness of it made it so easy for Ariane to push me around. The back of my legs impacted the front of the chair, making me fall backwards into the seat. Before I could even have a moment to recover, Ariane stepped up and placed her knees to either side, straddling my hips.
A finger dragged across my chin, pulling my gaze upwards and into a passionate kiss. I’ve felt passionate kisses before, but this felt even more intense. Ariane’s body gyrated against me, her crotch ground against my midsection. The moans she released into my lips drove me insane.
My lover separated from me, gasping from lack of oxygen. Her hands caressed my shoulders as she began to speak, “Your conception of sex is clinical, Ellie, it’s so much more than just reproduction. I can correct you, but I need your consent first. Do you want me to teach you?”
As if the answer wasn’t so obvious. Every part of me wanted this, I wanted my misconception of sex to be rectified, I wanted to be fulfilled, I wanted to embrace Ari as best as my mechanical body could, I wanted to love her. All of those reasons and more, so much more. It made it hard to speak, so I nodded with as much enthusiasm as I could muster.
“Say it, Ellie, I need to hear you say it.”
The commanding words of my Gestalt Officer filled me with warmth. Held under the grip of my lover, her hands holding my shoulder with a grounding strength, I knew I would struggle with my words. But how could I possibly disobey a direct order from my superior officer?
I couldn’t say it, but I needed to at the same time, I couldn’t let myself falter when Ari ordered me to speak. I closed my eyes and took deep breaths, readying myself, “Y… y-yes. Please.”
A wet tongue dragged along my neck, the way it touched the ports of my neck making me squirm in a feeling I couldn’t understand.
“Good girl…”
My shoulders sagged as all of my strength was depleted from me, just those words were enough to do that to me. It would almost be concerning if I did not trust my Gestalt Officer with my life.
The feeling of Ariane pulling away left me cold, but the feeling subsided quickly. How else was Ari supposed to teach me?
“Sex can be a lot of things, but for the purposes of our kind of relationship, sex is an act of love between partners,” Ariane explained as she took one of my hands into both of hers. ”It is a sharing of passion and pleasure through the animalistic interaction of bodies. Though I suppose that explaining it with words will not be enough here.”
I nodded profusely. Flowery prose was not enough for me to understand something, I needed cold hard examples. Thankfully, Ari looked willing to give me plenty of those, considering the sultry look she gave me. Her hands held my own so tenderly, fingers fitting into the grooves and lines of my joints. To say that I was in a trance would be an understatement, I was riding down a river of pure bliss, letting my lover direct me to anywhere she wanted to go. Her lips lowered to kiss the back of my hand, before she placed it on her cheek, allowing my fingers to caress her as lovingly as I could.
“I want you to think of all the moments we’ve had together,” Ariane commented as she nuzzled into my hand more and more. “All of the kisses, all of the touches, all of the words of affirmation and love shared at ungodly hours of the night.”
A sudden confidence gripped me, giving me the strength to pull Ariane down into a soft kiss, loving but not passionate, but that wasn’t a bad thing. Kisses could come in many shapes and sizes, and each was something to treasure. I must have taken some of that confidence from Ari if the nervous chuckle she released into my lips, ‘ruining’ the kiss, as if a kiss could be ruined by Ariane being absolutely adorable, was any indication.
“Think about how much you love me, and think about how much I love you. Focus on it, don’t think about anything else.”
And that I did. All of the repairs I needed to perform, the routine maintenance that came with every new cycle, the mission that had become so unimportant in comparison to our love, none of those things mattered anymore. All that mattered was the white-haired woman straddling my hips and holding my hair as if it were something soft and pliable while she whispered sweet words into my ear.
Ariane’s smile grew even wider as my features softened. With her eyes so full of love she whispered, “That’s perfect, Ellie. Just like that.” Her hand grabbed my own in a firm grip and placed it against her breast, the soft tissue squishing under my fingers.
[ AaaaCHT t tUNG ]
[ ACccc ds –!!!HTvNG ]
Oh Goddess above.
It was perfect. Everything was just so perfect. The patch of red that shone on Ariane’s cheeks, the way her breast felt in my hands, the soft moans that came from her lips as I squeezed. It was all so perfect, it was everything, it was all I would ever need. Every milestone in our relationship, I thought that this was the limit, things couldn’t possibly get better than what I have right here, and I was proven wrong every single time. Could my happiness reach the level of the gods? Could my love burn bright enough to warm even the darkest and coldest parts of space? The answer must have been yes, it had to be yes. How could this blazing inferno trapped in my carapace not burn brighter than all the stars out the observatory viewport?
My musings on love and passion were halted short when I remembered, oh right, I was being observed by my lover. I knew that she would never judge me for something like this, but I felt like I had to give her space anyway. My hand disconnected from my partner’s dress and my gaze turned away to some nondescript corner of the observatory.
“You’re doing great, Ellie,” Ariane reassured me as she placed a kiss on my hair. “How was that?”
Goddess knows how I brought forth the strength to speak at that moment, “This is so much, it’s amazing.”
Ariane laughed in an amazed glee. “Isn’t it? I love you so much, Ellie.”
“I love you too,” I whispered in amazement. “Can we have sex?”
Ari’s entire body jerked back at my question, “God, Ellie, asking out of nowhere like that.”
“I- I’m sorry,” I said as I slumped back into the chair.
“It’s okay Ellie, I was just surprised. Of course we can have sex.”
Ariane’s hands slowly raised to the straps of her sleeping gown and all sense left my body. I was about to see Ariane’s naked body for the first time. Before, I didn’t have any context to nudity, but now in relation to sex and pleasure, nudity took on a very intimate position. The straps slid slowly off of Ariane’s shoulders before falling to the side, dropping the dress past Ari’s chest to reveal…
Ariane’s breasts were like nothing I’ve ever seen before. Round, soft, and smooth. Her nipples stood erect surrounded by pink areola and various freckles. Maybe they were smaller than the average for Gestalt women, but that didn’t matter to me, they were perfect. After a while, I noticed I had been staring at them for a long time, so I jerked my gaze away to look at Ariane’s face. Her cheeks were covered with a red blush and her eyes darted away from mine.
“Hey, my boobs are down here,” Ari joked as she locked her arms to her side, pushing her breasts together. “You can- do what you did earlier if you want.”
With permission granted, I looked back down at my beloved's chest. I was hesitant due to my non-existent knowledge about sex, but going off of pre-established actions seemed like the best course. I needed to be careful, as the strength of my hands could seriously hurt Ari, but thinking too much about that would take me out of this moment. The answer was simple: just don’t worry about it. In a state of calm, I could automatically regulate my strength without hurting Ariane. I’ve done it before, I could do it again here.
My hands hesitantly raised and hovered over Ariane’s bare breasts. I spared one last upward glance, and Ariane nodded. Go ahead, the gesture told me, I want this . And so I stopped hesitating.
Cold polyethylene hands met soft Gestalt flesh, making Ari shiver from the temperature difference. I, meanwhile, was absolutely enamored by the feeling of Ariane’s breasts in my hand. Soft, warm, so, so warm. It was like nothing I had ever felt before. Her breasts squished under my hands, every movement making a moan come from Ariane.
“Am I doing a good job?” I needed to make sure my performance was satisfactory.
“Oh, Ellie baby yes! Ahhh, goddess yes,” Ariane whispered as her hands gripped my sides, clenching harder with each moan. My head was suddenly pulled upward, Ariane’s lips capturing mine in a kiss. This one was passionate, filled with desire, and fueled by love. What an amazing thing. Our kiss separated and Ari leaned forward to my ear to whisper, “Keep going… kiss them…”
That was a request I was ready to perform. Her nipples, so pink and erect… there was no way I could stand to not play with them. I removed my right hand from Ariane's breast and leaned forward into it, placing a kiss on the erect nipple.
“Ah!” The sound of Ariane's moans was music to my ears. “Don't stop, don't you dare stop.”
I didn't. I placed more and more kisses on Ariane's nipple. The feeling of the firm tissue under my lips, it made my already fiery emotions evolve into a blazing inferno. This wasn't a want anymore, it was a need. More stimulation, lapping at her nipple with my tongue, softly sucking it through my teeth, pinching her other nipple with my free hand, everything I could do to make my Ariane feel amazing.
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Ariane dragged me upward for another kiss, building our shared fire. Her hips gyrated against mine, pushing our bodies together. This was intimate, this was passionate and sexual and lustful. That's what my processors told me at least, my mechanical body and simple nervous system registered it as simple plain contact. Just the thought was enough to drive me wild.
“I love you so much, my magpie,” Ariane whispered into my lips. “Do you want to continue?”
“Yes, yes!” I cried. Seriously, Ariane was usually so perceptive of my emotions, couldn't she tell that I wanted more? “I need more of you,”
The smile that appeared on her face made my mind blank. “You got it, Ellie.”
The sleeping gown still rested on Ariane's body, the top half crumpled around her waist, but it wouldn't be there for long. In a rapid but far from smooth motion, Ariane pulled the entire dress off of herself and let it fall to the ground next to the armchair, not giving it a second thought. Now Ari was even more bare than before, the only article of clothing left on her body was a pair of white panties, a very noticeable damp spot right along the bottom.
“Elster,” the sudden call to attention made my back straighten instantly. Ari took my hands and placed them on her waist, right on the band of her panties. With a look of pure desire, she voiced her request, “I want you to pull them down.”
I lost my slowly building confidence as soon as Ariane said those words. I was worried, irrationally so, any scrutiny of these thoughts and I would have shot them down with ease. But this was an emotional time, I didn't have the strength to refute my anxieties.
In that storm of anxiety, Ari pulled me out of it by softly caressing my face. Her fingers trailed along the seam dividing my face plates so softly before combing through my hair. She leaned forward to my ear; was she going to whisper to me?
My eyes widened and a gasp escaped my lips as Ariane took the top of my ear in my mouth, softly sucking on the smooth cartilage. The sound of the action aroused more than I ever thought possible. Her lips let go of my ear with a pop and she began whispering in my ear, “It's okay, magpie. I know you can do it.”
Her hands caressed my own with a reassuring touch. That, and the words of affirmation in my ear, gave me the strength to continue. How could I not, with my entire world pushing me forward?
My fingers hooked under Ariane's panties and, with only a moment of hesitation, pulled on the band until the undergarment no longer covered her body.
Finally, Ariane was fully exposed to the recycled air of the Penrose, and oh my what a glorious sight it was. The folds of Ariane’s labia were slick with arousal, and I felt a swell of pride well up in my chest from the fact that I was the one that made my Ari feel that good. If Ariane wasn’t embarrassed before, she certainly was now. The red on her cheeks had become a permanent feature, and her gaze continued to dart around the room. Another face of Ariane’s beauty revealed itself to me, not just Ari as an artist or Ari as a person, but Ari as an agent of sexuality, a being capable of lust and pleasure. She was alluring. A single desire flashed in my mind: I wanted to taste her. Goddess, I wanted to taste her so badly.
But Ariane didn’t share the same excitement. She looked disappointed, did I do something wrong?
Her hands caress my shoulders as she speaks, “I wish I could undress you. I bet you’d look so sexy.”
Ah, yes. The Replika form was not built for sexual pleasure. Our experiences so far have been amazing, but I could never know if the pleasure of a Gestalt body would feel even better. Considering the moans that Ariane was giving so freely to me during our initial contact, my guess would be that I was missing out.
But… “That isn’t… technically true.”
The mood shifted from disappointed to curious. I could tell in a rare moment of social awareness that Ariane wanted to know what I meant, so I explained. “Replika are outfitted with breast tissue, for aesthetic purposes I assume. They don’t have nerve endings, so they feel completely numb.”
“So-” Ariane’s hands found their way to my chestplate, feeling the edges of it, “-There’s something here? You actually have…?”
I nodded in affirmation.
A silent pause filled the room, during which I took a moment to analyze how I felt. Physically it was all the same, binary sensations coming from the artificial nerve endings along my body. Emotionally, I was more of a mixed bag. Having Ariane perched naked above me felt incredible, better than I ever thought it could feel, but the discussion over my perverse construction left me disappointed. Was it selfish of me to desire more? Should I have just accepted that I would never be fully satisfied, and move on with my dwindling life-span?
“Can I see them?”
Ariane’s question pulled me from my thoughts. I felt no emotions regarding my feeble chest, so showing it to Ariane was’t an issue at all. If my Gestalt Officer requested it, then I had a duty to comply. My fingers landed on two latches hidden on the bottom corners of my chest-plate, releasing their hold on the red plastic with an audible click. Now that the piece was free from my body, It could be pulled up and out of its slot. Ariane’s eyes held an anticipation, and I understood perfectly what she wanted. She directed me to undress her earlier, and it seems like Ariane wanted to do the same for me.
Her hands gripped my chest-plate with an unneeded softness. It was simply a piece of plastic, it didn’t hold the same connotations as Gestalt clothes, but Ariane treated it as such anyways. The mounds of flesh hidden underneath the plate got dragged upwards until the plate passed them, falling back into place as the plate disconnected completely from my shell.
Ariane laughed as she dropped the plate to the side, “Your boobs are bigger than mine.”
Bigger, certainly, but not nearly as impressive. Replika breasts were not designed to be erotic, only aesthetically feminine. Instead of a fleshy tan, my breasts were a dark black soft rubber, colored like the rest of my carapace. Nipples were rejected in favor of three seams running vertically across my chest, dividing it into four easy-to-mass-produce pieces. Nothing like Ari’s perfect breasts.
“What are you thinking about magpie?”
Ariane’s question drove me out of my funk, bringing me back to the current moment. Maybe if I was a Gestalt, being undressed like this would feel exhilarating, but as a Replika, having my breasts exposed to the air didn’t make me feel anything. Seeing them now, and being able to compare them to Ari, they made me want to rip my rubber mockery of human tissue off my shell. I wanted to answer her question, I really did, but I was scared to vocalize these emotions. Doing that would make them real, further driving the divide between us bigger and bigger.
And then the mood shifted. Ariane stepped back off the armchair, seemingly to kick off her boots and panties, the few pieces of clothing that clung to her body. But instead of returning to straddling my lap, she held her hand out for me to take it and said, “Come with me.”
Ari was a rather emotionally intelligent person, even though she denied it due to her disability. She had this unnatural ability to determine exactly how I was feeling or what I was feeling. Like now, how she said something off-kilter to shake my negative feelings away, asking me to follow her through the Penrose…naked.
I took her hand and she pulled me out of the Stern Deck, into the halls of the Penrose-512. Now this, this gave me a feeling of exhilaration. I watching from behind as Ariane strolled confidently while exposing her entire body, watching as her rear end moved as she walked, being exposed myself, it all felt so… I didn’t know how to explain it. We arrived at the ladder leading to the upper floor, Ariane took it first, giving me full exposure to her still-dripping sex. Ever the tease, Ariane stopped partway up to stare back down at me with a smirk.
“Like what you see?” She said as she shook her body in a way that made me temporarily forget where I was. My expression must have been a satisfactory answer in and of itself, as she chuckled and continued climbing up. I climbed up immediately after her.
Our destination ended up being the Crew Quarters, even more of a mess despite our work to clean it up several cycles earlier. Maybe in a better state of mind, I would have pointed it out with a sarcastic remark, but I was not in my right mind at that point. My mind could only focus on the fact that oh my goodness Ariane Yeong was naked and so was I, how am I so affected by that, I’ve never felt like there was anything special about my breasts to cover- oh and now Ari is pushing me-
My back landed on the soft mattress of Ariane’s bunk, giving me a great look at Ari’s naked body as she crawled over me, holding herself up over my body with her hands and knees. She looked really good like this.
“You know Ellie, the point of sex is for both of us to have fun,” Ari whispered as she stared into my eyes. I couldn’t help but stare back. Forget our discomfort, we felt too safe to think about that. “I can tell you’re not satisfied.”
My head shook, “No, I’m completely fine with serving you.”
“I know that’s a lie.”
Oh, Ariane Yeong, the woman who held a window into my soul. Being known like that was what broke me, my gaze turning away in a desperate attempt to find balance.
“I’m not satisfied either, you know. You make me feel absolutely amazing and- goddess-” Ariane stopped to laugh “-I need you to touch me yestercycle. But that’s not all that I want. I want to make you feel good too.”
“I’m a Replika, I can’t feel that way.”
“Not with that attitude you can’t!”
Ari’s body lowered onto me, the soft flesh touching my smooth carapace. Her breasts pressed against mine, and the way that the pliable rubber squished against her made me short-circuit.
“I’m a stubborn bitch, Ellie. I don’t care what it takes, so you better be ready,” Her head lowered to my side and sucked on my ear again, before separating for one last word, “ because I’m going to make you cum your fucking brains out.”
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The moan that released from my voice box from those words, was all high-pitched and vulnerable. I had never felt so feminine before.
Ariane’s body separated from my own and I desperately chased after her, keeping my hands firm on her hips, feeling the way the soft flesh would shift under my grip. More and more kisses were shared, symbols of our love and desire for each other burning bright. I could feel her left hand trail across my side, stopping at every seam to feel along it, almost as if she was searching for something. And then, she found it, her fingers brushed against the pins inside the various ports surrounding my body.
My breathing hitched and my entire body arched upward into Ariane, who jerked back in surprise. I lay there, breathing heavily, while my lover looked down at me amazed.
With a look of amazement, she asked, “That really did it for you?”
The sound of my intense breathing was enough of an answer already.
“Oh Ellie…” The sound of Ariane’s voice was pure sex to my ears. She lazily collapsed onto her side next to me, her hand finding my breast to softly caress. As expected, I felt nothing physical from it, but emotionally it was a different story. Every nudge made me hiss from the intensity, and every grip made my entire body squirm. “Correct me if I’m wrong, but it looks like you’re enjoying this.”
How could Ari stand to be sarcastic right now!? How could she resist the urge to take me!? My reactions were unlike anything I had ever felt before, an electrifying current that dissuaded all of my fears of wrongness with my shell, how was it possible for this to feel so fucking good?!
“So pent up and needy…”
And Ariane, oh Ari, she only served to make those feelings more intense. Her words drove themselves into my mind, and I couldn’t focus on anything else. After a brief second of repositioning, her head lowered to my breast, and her tongue lapped at where a sensitive spot wasn’t. Except, that wasn’t true, because I felt it, goddess knows I felt it. I felt everything that Ariane did to me. Her lips closed around nothing and softly sucked and my breath hitched from it, her free hand travelled to my other breast to pinch the flat rubber as best as she could, and my entire body jerked in pleasure.
The only sounds I could distinguish were the soft pops of Ariane’s lips playing with me, and the moans of pleasure I couldn’t stop from getting out of me. “Ah! Ari… Ari!” Goddess I probably looked so pathetic, my voice sounding less like comprehensible words and more like the sound of pleasure manifested. My hands darted up to my mouth to cover my voice in a desperate attempt to save my dignity, only for Ariane to dart her hand up in turn and grab my wrist, the action making me freeze in place.
“Those sounds mean you feel good, Ellie. I want to hear them,” Ariane whispered as she placed a soft, chaste kiss on the tip of my breast. “Please keep singing for me.”
An apt description, comparing the moans of pleasure to a song. Earlier when I was making Ariane moan, the sounds of her sharp breaths felt more euphoric than the best music Ariane showed me. How could I deny Ariane a similar performance? “I- I will, Ariane,”
“Good girl.”
Fuck.
So much, this was all so much. So many sensations filled my thoughts as if every nerve in my system returned ten times my informational load at once. I wanted to stop, this was all too much… but the part that begged for a pause was much smaller, compared to the rest of me, which only wanted Ari to touch me more.
And that she did, holding one of my breasts so tenderly in her hand. Those phantom feelings came to me again, almost as if Ariane was really rolling her thumb over the firm nub of flesh that wasn’t my nipples. She raised herself closer to my ear, and whispered a simple question, “What do you want to do now?”
There was more? Of course silly, I admonished myself, there was always more. Ari was far from being a minimalist, finding enjoyment in the complex and dramatic. Of course she would approach sex in the same way. Or maybe it was normal for sex to continue from this point, and I simply was just too socially unaware to recognize it.
But enough of that, I knew exactly what I wanted to do with Ari, the desire hadn’t changed before it first bloomed within me, “I want to taste you. I want to taste you so badly.”
Ari’s breath hitched as she stared into me, stared into my soul, as if Replika could contain souls. “I want you to taste me too…”
Separating from Ari feels like a monumental task, but it is something I tolerated for the chance to get even closer to her. The way that Ariane’s knees found themselves planted beside my chest and the way her dripping sex hovered over my face certainly counted as closer.
“Are you ready?” Ariane tentatively asked.
I knew she wanted it, and I knew that she knew that I wanted it as well, so why was there any reason to ask? Words didn’t matter here, I wouldn’t be able to form them even if I tried, so I didn’t bother. Instead, I wrapped my hands around Ari’s hips and slowly pulled her downward, the folds of her labia making contact with my lips, the feeling of my breath on her sex making her squirm into me.
“Ooooh Ellie…”
The medical information that had been loaded into me at conception told me plenty about how the clitoris functioned as an organ that provided sexual pleasure, but that information told me nothing about how it felt to run my tongue the sensitive gland, how doing so drove Ariane mad with lust. That medical information didn’t tell me how electrifying it would feel to rub my tongue up and down Ari’s labia, planting deep kisses to her most sensitive areas. I only wished that I could feel the same way as Ari was right now.
Almost as soon as I thought those words, a powerful sensation filled my entire body, making my back arch in pleasure. Our moans synced, creating a shared song.
“Holy shit Ellie,” Ari moaned as I looked down to see what had happened. My lover hovered her thumbs over the ports on my waist. “This is amazing. Don’t stop.”
Like I would ever consider stopping. Our shared love was intoxicating, and I needed more. So I continued to lap at Ariane’s clit even stronger than before. Her hips buckled into me as I softly sucked on the sensitive mound. Her thumbs continued to graze my port, driving me insane with each little contact. Our love flowed freely between us, from my tongue to Ari’s clit, and from Ari’s thumbs to my ports. All the while I could feel this emotion, Ari called it “horny”, enveloping me. I needed more, I needed to give Ari more, I needed to serve her. So I continued even further. Her thighs clamped harder on my head the more I continued, her moans rising higher and higher, I had never felt so alive.
The throes of want got over on Ariane as her moans struggled to resemble recognizable words, “E-eee-lle, I’m- I- close… d- ah! Don’t stop!”
Further, harder, faster, more, more, more, more! Ari needed more and I gave it to her freely. My tongue continued with a fury not found before, my hands gripped Ari’s thighs stronger than I had ever gripped them before, not enough to hurt her, but enough to keep her grounded. She clearly needed it, as she buckled further into my face. The moans that my Ari was releasing sounded like music to my ears, greater than any music I had heard before, and so I continued to play with her. It kept going. Further, further, further. More, more!
Release. A discharge of fluid rolled down my face and chin. I was coated in Ariane’s arousal. The fluid felt warm to the touch, and it tasted slightly salty, It was like nothing I had ever experienced before. An immense feeling of satisfaction flowed through me. I brought Ariane to this state, I was the one that gave this pleasure to her. I was so glad I could give this experience to her.
Ariane collapsed from exhaustion at my side, breathing in and out with haste in a desperate attempt to regain her composure. Her eyes looked hazy, like she wasn’t even there. My concern couldn’t help but spring forth. “Are you okay Ari?”
“Haaaaah…” Ariane’s response sounded less like words and more like guttural moans. “Ye…”
“Are you sure?”
“Course…” Ariane turned around and wrapped her arms around me. Her lips peppered lazy kisses all across my face. “You did great, magpie.”
I breathed a deep sigh of relief as my arms wrapped around Ariane in turn. Our legs interlocked together, keeping us firmly in place in each other's arms. I didn’t want to leave her, and she didn’t want to leave me either. It felt like the whole outside world fell away, and the only thing that remained was the two of us.
Ariane sighed as she twirled her finger around where my nipples would be, “You are so amazing, Ellie. Let me repay what you've given me.”
I insisted that she didn't need to. I was already immensely satisfied with what had transpired so far, Ari didn't need to waste any more energy.
“Don't you remember what I said earlier?” Ari asked. “I distinctly remember saying that I was going to make you cum your fucking brains out, and it looks to me like that hasn't happened yet.”
The thought of it sent my heart ablaze. The height of Ariane's passion was a loud, powerful thing. It caused her to make sounds that I had never heard out of her before. What would it feel like to reach those heights? Could I even reach it? My body was not built for it, but goddess knows what I had felt. Ariane proved time and time again that what I thought was impossible was indeed possible, so my only conclusion was that this barrier too was really nothing at all.
I acquiesced, slowly nodding my head before moving forward to nuzzle her. “Okay. You may.”
“Yay!” Ariane cheered lazily. “Hold on, I have an idea…”
Ariane slowly repositioned herself so she was laying down along the bed, her head resting on a stack of pillows. She waved her hands, gesturing at me to come to her. I kneeled over her form, and she gestured at me to straddle her waist.
“Look at you, Ellie,” Ariane whispered as her hands trailed a long my carapace. The lingering touches made my breathing hitch. “You are so fucking sexy. How did AEON get away with making their Replika so hot?”
The compliments made me chuckle. My body was uniformly the same as all other LSTR units, but it still caused such a reaction. My love for Ariane swelled.
“Do you want me to make you feel good, baby?” Ariane asked as she teased at the ports on my waist. “Remember to use your words.”
Every part of my body felt like it was shutting down, the only thing left was my mind to process Ariane's command. My voice box hitched with anxiety, there was no way I would be able to say the words verbally. Oh how wonderful it felt to be fully in Ariane's control, to rest in the palm of her hand! What was once a source of frustration turned into a game. And I enjoyed every second of it.
My body squirmed and my eyes clamped shut as my voice box attempted to say the words, but they only came out as breathy hisses. Come on Elster, come on, you can do it. You don't want to disappoint Ariane do you? Do it for her!
“Y- yes… please…”
Ariane cooed as her thumbs brushed more against my ports. “Good girl.”
The moan that left my throat reverberated off the metal walls of the Crew Quarters. Goddess, it was so embarrassing! Everything felt so damn good, impossibly good! Thumbs continued to brush against the pins in my ports, sending shots of pleasure throughout my entire body.
“Hah… Ah! It's- it's so g-ggg-good!”
“That's right baby, that's right,” Ari's velvet smooth voice. “Don't fight it, let it engulf you. You deserve this and more.”
Words and language meant nothing in the face of pleasure, the waves lapping against my form. My hips buckled forward and my hands planted themselves forward on the wall above Ariane. My eyes locked onto Ariane's, her red orbs diving into my mind, taking in my every thought. It wasn't enough to say we were connected, Ariane and I were one. Nothing as simple as communication troubles or the differences of our bodies could separate us now.
“I- I love you!” I yelled between the moans. Tears fell down my eyes as it all became so much. Goddess I must have looked so pathetic. If I did, Ariane didn't comment on it, instead going further and faster. “Getting… close…”
“Don't fight it, Ellie, just let it flow. Let those feelings overwhelm you,” Ariane advised. “You're doing so good baby, I love you so much.”
The words pushed me further over the brink. It was all so much, so much! My body felt so warm, so warm, so so so warm! My hips buckled more and more, more, more, more, more! So close-up so close!
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The release from it all felt so intense. My pleasure burst forth, metaphorically of course. I didn't have the organs necessary to cum physically, but it felt just as powerful as the real thing. My hips buckled more and more into Ariane, into her awaiting arms.
“Just like that, good girl,” Ariane commented. It all became too much and I collapsed onto my side. She pushed my hair out of the way to look at my face. “How was that?”
What words could I even use to describe these sensations? It was so much, so hot, so amazing, so… “So you.”
Ariane snorted, “What is that supposed to mean?”
I didn't answer, choosing instead to nuzzle further into Ariane.
“Fair enough,” Ari said as she wrapped her arms around me. “You seem tired.”
I nodded, “That took a lot out of me. But I… I really enjoyed it.”
Ariane’s smile only warmed me up more. “I’m glad. Get some rest, magpie. You deserve it. I love you.”
“I luuuuv you…” I whispered as I closed my eyes.
What a way to end an amazing moment between me and Ariane. Sleep slowly took over me as Ariane peppered light kisses all over my face, whispering words of affirmation and I-love-you’s into my ear. The nap that followed was the best I’ve ever slept.
Perhaps, this is heaven.