Chapter Text
I should have known this race was going to be horrible.
Beautiful things never last forever.
I spent the last two days on a little cloud, my heart at ease because I could spend time with Pink, so of course something was going to happen.
"Another Day," started Blue.
"Another Race," we all finished.
At least I wasn't first to go, Red was the unlucky one, and we had literally no information about the race. The doors opened at the same time the music began, and horrors could be read in all of our gaze: it was a themed race.
Everything seemed frozen and slippery, the usual blades that cut us were made of sharp ice coming from the ground and I could easily guess some would fall from the roof at any time to impale us.
Death was waiting for us at every corner of this arena.
I started shaking as the cold air hit my face and my breath looked like smoke. The countdown started, Purple gave the supportive tap on Red's shoulders, and our acrobat was out in the arena.
Everything went so fast, everyone slipping and risking the near-death at every step. I helped Yellow in front of me to get back on his feet several times and prevented him from falling in the pit of iced stalagmites. Then came our last obstacle, the wooden bridge.
I stayed put for ten seconds, analysing as fast as possible, trying to figure out its weak point, where the risk of collapsing was higher, but honestly every part of it felt like it was on the brink of breaking.
I swallowed my saliva, shaking without control, until a particular voice brought me back to earth. Pink was right behind me. Which also meant Orange, Dark Green, Blue, Magenta, and White had died, since they used to separate us. Purple was already at the finish line, watching us from the other side of the bridge, they were only the three of us left in the race.
"You're going to dance on this?" I asked Pink, in attempt to ease the anxious mood.
"I'll do my best," she smiled, but I could see her stress behind it.
We all took a deep breath. Pink and I followed Yellow as he ran as fast as he could, hoping the bridge would hold on long enough for us all to reach the other side. It was without counting Yellow tripping on one of the planks. We stopped, leaving him time to get back up, just enough time for an iced stalactite to fall between Pink and me, breaking the plank beneath her.
I stared with horror before jumping to catch her, without a second thought. My chest hurt as I hit the plank, but at least Pink was still there, holding my hand like her life depended on it, which was kind of the case.
Yellow finally got up and came to my side to help, which was hard considering the lack of space on the bridge. I started hearing the plank underneath me cracking as I tried to pull Pink up, while Yellow was holding my feet, so I didn't slip and fall too.
"Black, you need to let me go or we're both going down. You can still win the race!" Pink said after she noticed the cracks on the plank growing.
"I'm not letting you go."
I used all my strength left to pull her up until she could catch the rope and pull herself at the same time. Yellow pulled me back and Pink could finally put her elbow on the blank and right after her leg, thanks to her incredible flexibility.
I let Pink go ahead of me, and we decided to finish the bridge in a slower pace, holding the ropes in case the planks were to break again. There were only a few meters left when we heard a new crack, however it wasn't the wood, but the ropes.
The bridge broke in half and collapsed as we tried to reach the other side as quickly as possible. The floor vanished beneath my feet, the finish line right in front of me. The last thing I felt was Pink fingers who tried to catch me as I fell on the ice peak and felt my body bleeding out.
"Black!"
I woke up violently in the reanimation room, my hands checking my stomach, making sure the hole I felt in it seconds before disappeared. I felt sick to my core, my mouth tasted like blood, and I hated every second of it. I took the glass of water the nurse handed to me before trying to get up, only for my legs to abandon me and hit the ground.
Magenta, who was still in the reanimation room, came as quickly as possible to help me get back on my feet, or at least on the bed.
"I'll get you your regenerative pill."
"Thanks. Did Pink and Yellow make it to the end?" I asked, even if the answer should have been clear, as they weren't in the room.
"Yes, thanks to you... You really are too kind, what's the point of helping others if you don't win?" she snapped at me, visibly frustrated.
I struggled to swallow the pill before taking another sip of my water.
Why did I act like that? I wasn't even sure. Only I know I would have hated myself if I didn't.
"Are you okay?" I simply asked, dodging her question.
"I had a soft death compared to you, I fell into frozen water, I was teleported as soon as I touched it. They waited too long before taking you out, you were actually bleeding when you arrived."
"Shit, that's not good news..."
"You'll probably have to miss a few races so you can fully heal."
"Or take a lot of regenerative pills."
"That's a really stupid and dangerous idea."
"I can't just stop running, it's not like They're going to let me anyway."
"You won't have to participate in the race in two days, probably."
"So I have three days to train."
"You have three days to rest."
I could feel Magenta growing increasingly angry with me, which only made me smile. I knew her enough to know that was her way of showing she cared about someone. Even if she was usually calm, her mood could switch so easily it was almost fascinating, I suspected her to even be more hot-tempered than Orange, only she didn't take it out physically on others.
"Black!"
My eyes widened as I heard Pink's voice calling my name and barging into the reanimation room. The nurses tried to stop her from coming in, as it wasn't allowed if you didn't lose a race, but she dodged all of them easily and rush into my arms before I could realise it.
I was in shock, as was Magenta, watching us with even more rage than before, but this time I could tell it wasn't because she was worried about me, she hated Pink's presence while I was craving it.
It took me a few seconds before I finally wrapped my arms around her waist, bringing her closer to me as I could feel her shaking in my embrace, her head curled into my neck.
Yeah, that race was traumatizing for all of us.
"I'm okay," I whispered. "We're all okay."
"I saw you, I saw... I saw you get impaled on the iced peak. I saw the blood... I thought it was too late," she sobbed, and my heart sank.
I never wanted to hear her cry, I wanted to be the one that could always comfort her and put a smile on her face in this shitty place, yet I was the reason she was in distress. I hated myself for it.
Pink loosened her grip on my clothes before finally facing me, her sorrow now replaced with a tint of anger.
"Don't ever do what you did today again. You can't sacrifice yourself for others."
"We all help Yellow when we can."
"There's a difference between helping and putting yourself at risk like you did."
"It's not like we're really dying."
"Then why didn't you let me go?" she complained.
"I just couldn't."
"That's unfair, you saved me and I failed to do the same."
Her head fell on my chest, as she was still sitting on my lap – I was not going to complain – and her hands left my shoulders for my upper arms, gently rubbing them, my hands doing the same on her back.
"Yellow said he's waiting for us to eat, if you feel like joining us even if we caused your end."
"Of course, I might just need a quick check up before joining you though."
"We'll be waiting in front of the dining room."
She smiled one last time before leaving my side, under the heated gaze of the nurses who hadn't forgotten her forbidden intrusion.
"More focused on the races, huh?" Magenta snapped at me, again. "At least don't lie to me in my face next time you want to hide your secrets."
"I didn't lie, I really am focused on the races, I want to join the main team."
"Sure, if you really wanted that you wouldn't have risked it all to save Pink."
She sat on the bed in front of mine, her gaze felt like ten people observe me at the same time, while she took a sip of water.
"I would have done that for everyone else, I just can't stand there and let people die." I answered, avoiding to talk too much about Pink.
"Very noble, but that's not how it works. Every man for himself, remember?"
"Why does it have to be that way?"
"Because we're realistic. In the end, there're will only be one of us who can get out of here, They will never let more than one person go."
"But what if we all helped each other?"
"You said you wanted to be the lazy one, right?"
"Yes, but what does it have to do with this conversation?"
"First of all, helping others isn't really lazy-like. Secondly, you're not acting lazy, you're the dreamer, or just naïve I'm not sure. Whatever you have in mind, in won't work out if you keep jumping to help others. Okay?"
"But if I just let them, I will end up hating myself."
"You will just be like the rest of us, we all managed to sleep at night if that's what you worry about. Listen, I know I won't change you, you're stubborn in your own way, you cling to your principles. But one piece of advice, you're the only one like that in here, and some won't hesitate to use it against you. Be careful."
Truth be told, I knew everything she said was true. I couldn't let my emotions and feelings dictate my behaviour in the races, or I would never join the main team. But there were already so many things I hated about myself, my behaviour was the last thing I hold on to. I didn't even know why I clung to it that much, why I had to be kind to others, I just couldn't even picture myself manipulating or hurting others.
It wasn't what made me "me".
Magenta sighed before finishing her glass of water and standing up.
"I have one question left," she said.
"What is it?"
"Pink, there's really nothing going on between you two?"
"Well as far as I know, no. I guess she's being friendly since she feels guilty about the race."
"What about yesterday?"
"Yesterday?"
"She stayed with you in the library."
"She wanted to talk strategies, since I do research about the old races."
"Good, I'll be really pissed if you lied about that too. We already have a couple, it's their stereotype, we can't have a second one."
"I never planned to-"
"It was just a friendly reminder. See you later."
I sighed as she left the reanimation room and tried to get up on my feet again. One of the nurses stayed close to me, ready to help if necessary, and held the door to the toilet open before leaving me alone. I used the sink to stay steady before taking my top off and inspected my injuries in the mirror.
Shit.
It was bad.
My whole stomach had turned red and I now had a horrible wound with several stitches. The rest of my body was marked because of the chilblains, but I guessed that would fade easily. I turned around, at least the injury on my back were smaller, even if I had been stabbed, it looked as they were fast enough to stop the iced peak from completely ran through my whole body.
Good news I guessed.
I slightly brushed my stomach and immediately felt insane pain, I never felt as bad before that day, and I guessed another regenerative pill wouldn't be enough.
I put my top back on and stepped out of the toilet, the nurse was waiting for me with different medicines on her plate.
"This cream is for the pain, this one for your injury to heal faster, and take another regenerative pill tonight and then when you wake up and when you go to sleep for at least five days. You'll come to see us after that to see if you need to continue. We had news, you also come back for a check on Saturday to see if you race on Monday. Got it?" she explained before handing me the product.
"Yes ma'am."
"Good, if the stitches break or your wound opens, you come to see us immediately. You've got a special pass for a few days."
"Thanks."
"Do you need help to walk?"
"I think I can handle it till the dining room."
She sighed and gave me a bag where I put all the medicines before finally leaving the reanimation room. I took a deep breath, walking carefully as every step I took hurt me. I had to lean on the wall several times before arriving in the dining room, where Pink and Yellow waited for me.
They both came to my side, helping me to the tables where they forbade me to move and went to take my plate, I thanked them before staring at the food. I didn't feel like eating at all, like after every near-death experience, I knew only a bite could make me want to throw up.
And I was right.
I covered my mouth as I chew the first bite of meat with difficulty, forcing me to swallow it. I coughed and took sips of water, again and again, in hope it would help with this horrid sensation in my mouth.
What a shitty day it was.
"Hey Black, I really wanted to thank you for what you did," Yellow said after a few minutes of silence.
"Oh, it's nothing."
"No, it's not. You lost because of me, if I hadn't tripped on the bridge we could have all made it to the other side safely. I'm really sorry."
"Hey, it's not your fault, anyone would have fallen on the bridge, it was so slippery and fragile."
"Still-"
"Yellow. It's okay. There's no need to apologize or to thank me, we're all safe and sound, I know you didn't fall on purpose."
Or at least I hoped so.
"Hey I was thinking about your stereotype," announced Pink, and I mentally thank her for changing the subject.
"Yes?"
"You said you wanted to be the lazy guy, but today you were more like the helper."
"A lazy helper?" I suggested.
"Not really... You jumped to save me. How do you intend to picture lazy in a race? That time when there was a bed, the nap idea was good, but on regular races, it seems complicated."
"Maybe you could run at a slower pace, like you didn't care, and play with your expressions. Look bored or unimpressed, and do minimal movement when you avoid obstacles," proposed Yellow.
"So do the opposite than Red?"
"Yes, that could be an idea. Think about it while you rest."
"By the way, how are your wounds?" Pink asked.
I now realised my hand has been on my stomach the whole lunch, when I wasn't forcing myself to eat.
"It's okay, nothing a few regenerative pills can't fix."
"Don't take too much of those, it can have terrible side effects," she warned me.
"Like what?"
"Temporary loss of sight and hearing, headaches, your skin feels like it is constantly burning and scratching it doesn't help, sometimes hallucinations, and I don't know how to describe it but like you're floating and nothing feels real."
"Wow... That's precise... Did you, hum..."
"Yes, when I first started racing, I had an accident, a bit like yours, they teleported me back too late, only it was part of my neck who had been cut, I still have a scar I hide thanks to my turtleneck top... Anyway, I woke up with tremendous pain, especially in my head, and at that time I had that nasty habit, I always took more than one regenerative pill when I lost, trying to feel better faster, so I could train. And so that day, I didn't even count, even if the nurses tried to stop me when I just took as much as my hand could hold and swallowed it. I collapsed, instantly, and when I woke up again I was tied up, under the nurses surveillance while I experienced all the symptoms I told you about. They kept me for days, giving me only food and water, trying to ease my pain but honestly, nothing they did help. I remember it like it was yesterday, I think that was one of the most traumatizing thing that happened to me..."
She sighed, pain lingered in her eyes as she clearly remembered the experience. I reached for her hand, gently pressing it while Yellow started rubbing her back.
"Sorry, this isn't about me. That being said, don't take too many pills. You will regret it. That I can assure you," she warned me, again.
"Duly noted."
"And I meant what I said earlier, don't sacrifice yourself for others, it's not worth it."
"I don't agree, I think you are."
Pink suddenly froze, staring at me with confusion and her cheeks slightly red, while Yellow's eyes kept going back and forth between her and me, and I finally realised what I just said.
"I, I mean, like, all of you. Everyone in the Centre. I think everyone is worth saving, or at least trying to help them. You know? Not you especially. Even if of course, well, I also wouldn't hesitate to help you, but I would do the same for everyone else," I tried to explain, without making too much a fool of myself, which I think I failed.
Pink nodded and went back to her food, Yellow just watched me, that innocent smile on his face before pushing me further into embarrassment when he asked:
"So if you had to choose, who would you save first?"
"Excuse me?"
"Well if it isn't the hero of the day!" interrupted Lime, appearing out of nowhere. He sat next to me, grinning widely, before offering me a fist bump. "How are you doing?"
"I'm fine, thank you for your concern. And you?"
"Well I didn't get stabbed today so I'm pretty good. I'm sorry I stopped your conversation, what were you talking about?"
"Black said he would save everyone if he could, so I was wondering who would he save first?" resumed Yellow
"And I was about to say it's a stupid question."
"I don't agree, I think it's interesting. Like if you had to choose between saving Yellow or Orange first, who would it be?"
"Don't push it."
"Sorry I'm just being curious. You're almost the only one who helps people other than Yellow."
"I usually only help him too."
"True, but today you saved Pink and Yellow said you said you would have done the same for everyone else, but you can't possibly save all of us at the same time, so who do you choose?"
"Fine... Let's get this over with. I guess I would help Yellow first, I feel like we're closer and he's a good friend."
"Oh... Thanks, I would help you too, if I wasn't usually on the ground and in need of assistance," he said a bit embarrassed, as if he thought his clumsiness bothered me, which never happened.
"Next dilemma, between... Blue and Purple?" continued Lime.
"Really? How many questions like these are you going to ask?" I asked, annoyance slowly growing inside of me.
"I was thinking with your answers we could make a ranking of who you like more."
"What? No. That's offensive, you don't rank people like that."
"Okay, okay, sorry. Just answer this one question then. Between Pink and Magenta, who would you save first?"
"Why am I in this now?" Pink asked, lifting her head after staring at her food for a couple of minutes.
"Just because."
"You don't have to answer Black. He's just messing with you because he's bored. Like he did with Red the other day."
"Yes, but you have to admit, that was funny. He was so flustered."
Pink tried to contain her smile before agreeing and went back to staring at her food, only this time she started cutting it into smaller pieces, again and again.
"So, you didn't answer the question..." noticed Yellow, apparently oblivious to my embarrassment and my wish to disappear.
"Can I dodge it?"
"Nope," answered Lime, as I glared at him.
"Why Pink and Magenta?"
"Well, you know Magenta for a long time since we're all in the back-up team since it's been created a few months ago, but I noticed, well everyone noticed really, that you spent a lot of time with Pink recently, so I'm just curious. And I think it's funny since their colours kinda look alike."
"Wait, I have to object, her colour is much darker than mine, and flashy... Mine's more subtle and classy," interrupted Pink.
"Well, her colour looks like a mix between yours and Purple's."
"Yeah... You could say that," she sighed, visibly annoyed.
"You really don't like her..." commented Yellow.
"That's not true! I just find her difficult sometimes to deal with, she's a really emotional and sensitive person. I already struggle with Orange hot-tempered personality, as much as I like her. I don't need another one who doesn't know how to deal with their emotions and feelings."
"Yeah I feel you, that's why I'm not really close with anyone, makes it easier. Well except you Black. And Red. I also really like him," Yellow agreed.
Neither Pink or Lime looked offended or surprised that Yellow didn't include them in his list, and Pink finally decided to eat her tiny pieces of meat.
"So, Pink or Magenta?"
"Lime..." I sighed.
"I'm not an option here."
"You know, Magenta hates when people talk behind her back, so I'm not going to do it"
"Wow, you know her well."
"Well she mentioned it yesterday."
"Hm... So you'd pick her?" Lime assumed.
"What? No I-"
"So you'd pick Pink."
"I didn't say that!" I objected.
"Well you say no to saving Magenta."
"No I didn't!"
"So you do choose her?"
"That's not what I said!"
"Why can't you just choose?"
"Because you don't choose between people for one to die! That's fucked up."
"Okay so forgot about the whole saving one person situation, just who do you prefer?"
"I... Can't I just like two people equally?" I asked, still trying to get out of this situation.
"You can, I just don't think that's really the case here, and you should be more honest with yourself, and others," Yellow answered calmly, smiling at me with pure kindness in his eyes.
I knew what the answer was, of course I knew. I was honest with myself, simply saying it out loud while Pink was here was complicated. I didn't want her to think I was weird for liking her so much after we just started to hang out together. But saying I preferred Magenta was a lie and felt mean after we spent the last few days together.
So what should I have done?
"I think, I like Pink a bit more. It feels really easy to be with her..." I said, nervously, avoiding Pink's gaze.
"Well, was it really that hard?" Lime teased me.
He smiled brightly, like he always did. That damn smile was his way to get away with everything and to charm others. He really felt like a ball of energy sometimes.
"I'm going to go rest." I dodged, standing up quickly, too quickly as I almost instantly fell, again, but unknown hands helped me stay steady.
I turned around and discovered Cyan, smiling at me.
"Hey, I was just searching you, need help until the dorms?" he proposed, saving me twice at the same time.
"Yes please."
"We'll take care of his plate," assured Pink, as I put my arm around Cyan's shoulders.
I smiled at them before finally leaving, thanks to Cyan's help.
"I saw what you did during the race," he said once we reached the elevator.
"Let me guess, you think I'm stupid for sacrificing myself for others?"
"Yes. Definitely. But you also looked cool while doing so, I bet it's going to get you interest from the watchers, so well done. Suck you lost so close to the finish line though, you deserved to win."
"Thanks."
We walked in silence to my door, and Cyan took the help further, applying the different creams on my wounds, and apologizing when I winced from the pain, even though it wasn't his fault.
"Do you need anything else?" he asked as I laid down on my bed.
"Yeah, I'm probably going to sleep through dinner tonight but could you wake me up tomorrow morning before your race? I'd like to watch it."
"Sure man. I'll see you tomorrow."
Cyan chuckled before leaving my room and it took only a few minutes for me to find sleep, allowing my pain to finally weaken.