Work Text:
Bellatrix Black Lastrange heard some kind of darting, elusive sound; a rustling, flapping noise; wings, perhaps? She tried to ignore it; she tried in vain to cling to the purity of her mind with an iron will, but fourteen years in the darkness sometimes played wicked tricks on her; she could not always trust herself, and she hated that.
She raised her head; nothing had changed. Her cell was still pitch-black, with the same number of bricks in the walls on all sides, (Bella counted them; she walked around slowly, counting brick by brick; one, two, three, four...) and some kind of moisture was dripping from the ceiling. It was cold, but not dementor cold; the hurrying, hissing sound had turned to dust.
Bellatrix pursed her lips; I am a Black; Blacks don't break. If her mind had been clearer, Bella would have wondered how strange it was that the dementors hadn't been near her cell for a while. The cursed, half-dead creatures were constantly walking between the cells at other times, waiting to see who would die. Not now. Everything around her was empty.
Bella squinted her eyes, staring into the darkness; it all made no sense, but somewhere in the fog that hung over her mind, she thought she was doing what Mother had taught her since she was a little girl. Stare the monster in the face and it will be afraid of you.
She saw nothing; but logically she knew that Rodolphus was locked in the very cell opposite her; she had heard his voice a thousand times, encouraging her, or pleading with her, on cold, winter nights.
And next to Rod, separated by a single, solid stone wall, was Rabastan's cell. Bellatrix closed her eyes. To hear Bastan pounding on the wall, raging, begging his brother to let him out, was one of the worst things that had happened to Bella in the fourteen years she'd been here.
’Roddie? Rod, can you hear me? Let me out, brother, I’m cold. Can you hear me? Why don’t you let me out? Roddie? Are you mad at me? Let me out! I’m sorry for whatever I did, all right? I’m really sorry, just LET. ME. OUT.’
The breathless babbling, the desperate pleading, the repetition of the passages over and over again were horrible; there was no logic in the monologue; only the sheer, strong conviction that Rodolphus was Rabastan's brother; older brothers saving little brothers. And if Rod didn't help, it meant that Bastan had done something wrong. And if he did something wrong, he must ask for his forgivness. He will forgive; big brothers forgive little brothers. That was the rule. And so –
’Roddie? Please forgive me! I didn’t mean to do whatever I did, I promise! I’m still your little brother, am I not? Help me!’
At first, Rodolphus tried to comfort him, in the silky, deep voice that Bella loved so much. It was a running joke between the two of them in the past, that Rod might as well read History of Magic with the voice he had, and it would do well enough for Bellatrix.
’Hey, Bastan? Bas, I’m here. Do you remember where we are? We are in prison for the Dark Lord. I can’t help you, baby brother, I’m so sorry. But I’m here, I promise. And Bella is here, too, right, mon amour?’
’Right here, boys. Not going anywhere, I swear.’ She tried to inject a certain flirtatious playfulness into her voice, which both her boys loved.
People thought she married Rodolphus out of a sense of duty; duty! Bellatrix Black did what she wanted and clearly married the man she wanted. The dutiful one was Narcissa.
Prior prison, people also believed that Bellatrix Black had fucked both Lastrange brothers; when in reality she and Bastan considered each other family, but nothing more. They were her boys, all right, and nobody else’s, thank you very much, but only one of them were her love.
Still, Bellatrix often made scandalous, ambiguous remarks to Bas to offend the crowd of prudish, old witches of the pureblood variety, to which Bas would respond with his characteristic shit-eating, half-smile.
Hence the slightly teasing comment now, to try to bring Rabastan back to reality. But it didn’t work. Bas just started to sob softly, and then that too died away. Then come the elusive sound; a rustling, flapping noise; wings, perhaps?
And then - Explosion. Sudden light; Bella blinked hard; the bright light caused physical pain after decades of darkness. The door to her cell disappeared; she tried to struggle to her feet, but suddenly felt weak.
Stop being so useless; you are free: run!
Her hand was burning for a wand, but her palm remained empty, of course. She gritted her teeth and stood up. Rodolphus and Rabastan - her boys - where were they? Without them, she can't go anywhere.
'Rodolphus?!' she tried to put all her strength into the cry, and thank Merlin, her voice was not weak. She was still, Bellatrix Black, after all. ’Rabastan!’
The cell in front of her - Rodde's - was also in pieces, and the wall separating the brothers was burnt to the ground.
’We’re here, my love’ Out of the flying dust and dirt appeared Rodolphus; the man was filthy, the robe on his body tattered, and his mouth was covered with a thick, midnight-black beard, woven with silver threads, to Bellatrix's horror - but there he was. He wrapped his right arm around his brother's waist, and Rabastan - ludicrously handsome, wolfish, handsome Rabastan - looked unhealthily pale. On his hands, with which he clutched his elder brother's neck, a thousand and a thousand badly scarred wounds - the marks of frantic wall-beating - but he was alive.
’You come’ muttered Bastan. ’You come and saved me, Roddie. I knew you would.’
’Lets go’said Bellatrix quickly, and they started to run towards the end of the corridor, where the light filtered in; the wall of the side of the prison was completely gone, and in the opening stood Lucius Malfoly.
As they made their way through the wreckage, she could see, blurred, that the entrance to each cell had burst open, and the prisoners were streaming out, shoving and frantic, but she was only focused on her brother-in-law in the opening. The bastard; why must it be him? No matter.
The snake was, as always, immaculate-looking, in his midnight-black robes, dragon-skin boots and gloves, wand in hand, golden-blond hair cascading down his back, his blue-grey eyes haughtily watching the three approachers. The idiot was not wearing a mask.
'You took your time' the man observed, in his drawn-out, slow, aristocratic voice.
’Fuck you, Malfoly’ growled Rodolphus, and Bella couldn’t agree more. But then something distracted her, because out there - it was raining there. Bella stepped forward, almost in a trance as she felt the dampness on her skin. She hadn't felt air and rain on her skin in fourteen years. For a moment it seemed as if she hadn't felt anything for fourteen years. Malfoly snorted impatiently at her, but Bella didn't give a shit. Suddenly she felt as if some weight had lifted off her, and joy and euphoria washed over her, and it all burst out of her in a kind of almost hysterical, uncontrollable laughter.
Peripherally, she saw Malfoly flick his wand, and the Dark Mark appeared in the sky, just as a bright bolt of lightning split the dark heavens in two. Her laughter increased, and she felt unable to stop.
’Come on, lover’ Rod grumbled, grabbing her with his free hand, and they started running in the drenching rain. Her laughter died away, and Bella suddenly thought about the fact that she would be unable to apparate. It was a horrifiing idea, but fortunately, as they followed Lucius, a black and white carriage emerged from the storm, with four testrals in front of it.
Bella hated the fact that her magic was this unstable. She gave a sharp look to Malfoly, who was perfectly untuched by the rain, but it never occurred to him to cast a water-repelling spell around the three ex-convicts.
The interior of the carriage was as luxurious as befits a pure-blood, and Rodolphus and Rabastan slumped down on one of the red velvet seats, both near the two windows, but Bellatrix settled herself between them tensely.
Her magic may not have been stable, but Bella was still herself, in traces; and there was a presence in the carrige, that Black couldn't explain. She glanced uneasily at the seat opposite her, which was empty. Malfoly was the last to get in, and he too froze at the sight of the empty seat.
’Delphini! I told you not to do this!’ his voice was a strange mix between irritation and fondness, but it was all washed over Bella, who was stunned into immobility at the first word. Delphini, her girl, her daughter, whose existence she had banished to the farthest, darkest recesses of her mind, on the day she was sentenced to prison because she was unable to exist with any more pain.
Delphini, about whom the last shred of information she knew was that after the trial she was entrusted to the care of her sister, Narcissa. Bellatrix remembered the sharp relief that her daughter would be raised the way she wanted, even if it was by Narcissa, and then she let go of everything that had to do with her, and she fell from high to low, like the raindrops in the rain. And now it all came back to Bellatrix as quickly and painfully as when we dunk frozen limbs in hot water.
A snap and the spell of invisibility dissipated. A girl of about fifteen sat in the seat across from Bella; she looked uncannily like her, with fine chiseled cheekbones, snow-white skin, and long jet-black hair, streaked with gold. A charmed light floated in front of the girl, illuminating the interior of the carrige, and the eyes of the teen; she had deep dark eyes just like her father.
’Delphini! I told you not to do this!’ but she only smiled lazily, and Bellatrix felt a strange, unexpected, burning love for her.
’I’m part Black, Uncle Lucius’ she said, smiling. ’Blacks do what they want, and I wanted to meet my family’ Her smile widened, her dark eyes, which reminded Bella so much of Rod, softened.
’Delphini Lastrange, meet Bellatrix Black Lastrange, your mother, Rodolphus Lastrange, your father, and Rabastan Lastrange, your other uncle’ muttered Lucius without any enthusiasm.
Bella shot him a sharp look, the usual irritation that had always caught her around Lucius once upon a time was back.
She hated how Lucius made Bastan look like some second-rate uncle. Of course Rabastan was strange now, but still; he had just as much right to Delphini as Lucius, if not more. Bastan was ready to suffer for the Lord while Lucius was hiding in the mask of lies.
But then she was distracted as Delphini gently touched her hand, still cold from the rain.
’Hello, Mother’ she said kindly. ’It’s amazing to meet you.’
The words boiled in Bella's throat, and she hated, hated, hated it; she could not speak. Contrary to popular belief, Bellatrix was not emotional; she was passionate in battle, and at such times her emotions bubbled out of her like hot lava. But in everyday life she found it difficult to express emotion; and now she froze, at the face of her daughter's simple, raw kindness.
Fortunately, Delphini didn't expect an answer from her; Bella could feel her daughter's charm on her skin as the teenage girl dried her hand, leaving behind a pleasant warmth as she let go.
’Delphini’ Rodolphus’s deep, darkish voice trembled as he hugged his girl, without a missing beat. Bella's jealousy flared up for a moment as she watched him express his feelings with ease. Then she felt ashamed; it was not Rodolphus's fault.
’Papa’ Delphini muttered back, gently, and Bella knew at once that Delphini is going to be a daddy’s girl. It hurt, and it was somehow good, at the same time.
’So, you are my niece?’ Bellatrix looked up; it was Bastan’s first normal question, in a decade, something which showed, that he was still in there, somewhere.
Delphini gently untangled herself from her father's embrace and turned to Bastan, smiling.
’You can bet I am. Hi, Uncle Bastan.’ She let him caress her face like a child discovering something new. Rod gave her an apologetic look, but she only shook her head barely perceptibly and pressed her uncle's hands gently to her face.
’So, you are the uncle, who gave me Franklin, when I was a baby, huh? He is still my favorite stuffed hippogriff’ she said playfully. ’He can fly, and all.’
An uncertain smile flashed across Rabastan's face for a moment.
’Yeah, that would be me. It’s great to see you again, little griff’ he said, and he was there, again, if just for a minute.
*
Narcissa was waiting for them in the Manor’s lobby, and the first person she saw was Delphini.
'Delphini Lastrange, how dare you just disappear?! Your bed was empty, I was worried to death!' she screamed, but Bella had to smile; though she was tired from running, from the changes, from all the emotions, it was good to know that Narcissa loved her girl as if she were her own.
'You were the one who brought me up to believe that a Black does what she wants' Delphini smiled like a cheeky kitten, but her voice was sweet. ''I'm sorry, auntie; but look, I've brought your sister!''
Delphini stepped aside so that Narcissa and Bellatrix could look at each other. Narcissa was as tall and graceful as ever, her snow-white skin almost glowing in the evening candlelight, and the fire crackling in the fireplace behind her. Her golden hair was shorter than the last time they had met, and curled in soft ringlets, her distinctive Black grey eyes, sharp, fine lines at either corner of her mouth.
She wore a soft, pale pink dressing gown, and was as beautiful as ever; her composure accentuated Bella's weathered state even more, if possible.
Bella was suddenly struck with a deep sense of shame; she was used to the fact that, like all Blacks, she was naturally beautiful. True, where Narcissa's beauty was refined, understated, and dignified, there was something wild and untamed in Bella's dark colours. But still: she had taken for granted that she looked naturally attractive; and now she felt like a dirty animal.
Narcissa didn't seem bothered by the dirt, the pounds lost, the bones hanging out; her eyes lit up and she was standing two shy steps ahead of the other.
’Bells!’ Her embrace smelt of lavender, which Bella would normally have hated, but now it felt safe, and the next moment she was stunned to find her tears flowing. ’Oh, Merlin, are you okay? What a stupid question, how on earth would you be all right, I’m sorry. But you are back now, and thats all that matters, and its going to be fine, I promise, and…’
Bellatrix has kept to herself the opinion that the only thing certain in life is death, and no one can promise you anything. Instead, she let her sister's gentle voice simply lull her to distraction.
After a few moments (or hours? Bella's sense of time no longer existed), Narcissa gently released her sister and stepped back. There must have been something strange about Bella's expression, because Narcissa grew serious.
'Right, I'm going to have to let you two get some rest now, aren't I?' she asked. 'We'll continue this tomorrow.'
Cissy looked up at Rodolphus and Rabastan. 'Welcome back, boys.'
Rodolphus nodded, barely perceptible, but Bella saw Cissy's gaze rest on Rod's arm, which was still holding Bastan upright. Shame flared up in her again. Shit!
Since when am I ashamed of us? We fought for the Dark Lord, and suffered for it. But where is he? We're wounded, we're dirty, our minds are wrecked, and he's nowhere to be found.
'Emerald!' said Narcissa in a firm but kind voice, and out of nowhere, with a small pop, an elderly house-elf appeared.
’Yes, Mistress?’ asked the elf, then as he looked around the room, his huge green eyes (which gave him his name) became round.
’Miss Bella, you are back!’ Bella didn't know she could still smile, but she seemed to. Slowly, painfully, she smiled down at the elf.
She knew what Cissy was doing, but strangely she didn't mind it, she felt hesitant gratitude. Cygnus Black was a diamond hard father, but at the end of the day he loved his daughters, and with each of them (don't think about Andy, don't think about Andy, don't think about Andy,) he sent a house elf from home, when they got married.
In this way, in the new house, every Black girl had someone who had cared for her since she was a little girl, and was loyal only to her. Bella got Obsidian, while Emerald left with Cissy. Narcissa called this elf to make Bella feel even safer.
’Hello, Emmy’ she wishpered, tired. ’Can you help me, and Mr. Rodolphus, and Mr. Bastan tonight? We feel a bit out of sorts.’
The elf stared at her for a second, then reached up and pushed a dirty black lock of hair out of her face. He pursed his tiny lips, as if he found it intolerable that a Black should be treated like this.
'Miss Bella is not to worry, Emmy will take care of her and the two misters' he said firmly, then. The elf's gaze swept over Narcissa, Delphini, and paused on the Lastrange brothers, then stepped forward.
'Mr. Rabastan must come with Emerald' the elf announced, and gently took Rabastan's free hand. Bella, beyond all her exhaustion, found it amazing that the elf could keep a grown man on his feet and that Rabastan would let go of his brother and follow him without any protest.
'Good night, ladies,' Rodolphus said, and Bella sensed that he felt uncomfortable that his brother was suddenly as tame as a sheep; Rod nodded and wordlessly followed in the footsteps of his little brother and the elf.
Bella ventured another smile in the direction of her daughter and sister, though she felt it was more of a snarl, and then followed Rod.
As they walked through the dark corridors of Malfoly Manor, lit only by flaming torches, the elf kept talking to Rabastan.
'Mr. Rabastan mustn't worry: Emmy will give Mr. Bastan a hot bath, we'll wash off all this nasty dirt, and Mr. Bastan will be as good as new. Then tomorrow Emmy will bake cheese pies, Miss Bella's favorite and...'
Narcissa had given the whole north wing of the Manor to just the three of them; Bella was sure that the generous, kind gesture had nothing to do with Lucius, who didn't have a generous bone in his body.
The strange company stopped in front of two ornate doors; in front of two opposite bedrooms.
'Emerald will take care of Mr. Bastan,' the elf said firmly. 'And send dinner and clothes for Miss Bella and Mr. Rod.'
'Thank you,' said Rodolphus. 'Sleep well, little brother,' he added, suspiciously quickly opening the door that was closer to them. Bella guessed that Roddie felt guilty for not taking care of his brother, but he was in no physical condition to do so.
'Night, Bas, Emmy' muttered the witch and followed her husband, closing the door behind her. She didn't look at Bas. Since when did I become a coward?
The bedroom was huge, with a window overlooking the Malfoly garden, and a bathroom at least as large. Bella looked tiredly at the snow-white velvet carpet, and the light blue four-poster bed. The room had a high ceiling, the crystal chandelier was the palest white, and on the north wall was a fine light wooden dressing table, with a mirror decorated with tiny azures around it.
The witch knew that Narcissa had given them this suite because she assumed Bella expected it, and because Cissy loved her sister, and liked her brother-in-law. Once upon a time, before the darkness, the dementors, the never-ending cold, Bella had precise ideas of what a pureblood witch deserved. But that was the Bella before. The Bella of the now – she just wanted to sleep.
Black looked at Rodolphus: he was standing motionless beside her, his back against the snow-white door. His face was strangely blank.
’Come on, baby, lets clean up’
The bathroom was full of off-white marble, and the deep tub fit them both comfortably. Bella found it a fantastic feeling as the torn, dirty clothes fell off her, and turned into mist before they hit the ground: Merlin blesses the elves. As she turned to Rodolphus, she noticed that he was chewing the corner of his mouth in agony.
’I’m not… I don’t want…’ The ’you to see me this way’ part died on his lips, but Bella just shook her head.
’There is absolutley nothing wrong with the way you look’ She wishpered. ’It’s not your fault’ Again, the ’its the Dark Lords fault’ part was unsaid, but it hung between them.
Bella tried to push the thought away: it was treason, after all. The dark lord freed them from prison: but then again; wasn't it his fault they got there in the first place? Bella shook her head wildly. This thinking was so far from her old self.
But - when she looked at Delphini in that fucking carriage, all she could think about was how much time she'd wasted with her daughter. And to what end? To make Rabastan lose his mind? So that Rod - strong, bear-like, bloodthirsty Rod – feel ashamed in front of his wife?
Bella shook her head again and slowly, gently, stripped Rodolphus of his clothes: the ragged robe, the once white shirt, the pants, the shoes, leaving them all to dust.
’Perfect’ she muttered, when of course, it wasn’t perfect. Bella always adored how amazingly strong Rodolphus was: like a huge mountain bear, with tight, palpable muscles. All this disappeared: Rodolphus was too thin, his bones stood out sharply, his skin was yellowish. It was all the Dark Lord's fault.
The water was scalding hot and Bella could feel the dirt, the filth, coming off her skin as she sank into it.
She felt Rodolphus' eyes on her; he sat across from her in the water with his legs tucked under him while Bella floated in there, her dark hair swimming around her. On the edge of the tub stood countless bottles of types of bubblely things, soap, and shampoo; once upon a time, Bella thought her sister's taste was overly flowery, while she herself preferred simple, clean scents.
Like so many things, it didn't matter anymore: without thinking, Bella took a pale pink bottle containing rose-scented shampoo and carefully washed her hair. It felt indescribably good as the knots smoothed out of her locks and her hair regained its natural wavy character.
She washed every square inch of her body, trying to ignore the water turning coal black around her. When she was almost back to herself, she looked up and noticed that Rodolphus hadn't moved since they got into the tub.
Bella sighed silently; she pulled the plug and let the dirty water disappear down the drain, then plugged it back in, and the tub immediately filled up again with clean water. The witch took a clean sponge from the edge of the tub and began to gently wash her husband.
Bellatrix Black was not naturally a gentle person, but – it was Rodolphus. He deserved it. She tried to recall Narcissa's voice when one of them was sick when they were children, and to imitate the gentle, calm, cheerful voice. True, Cissy was the youngest of the sisters, but she was naturally good at taking care of others.
’There we go, love’ murmured Bella. ’Does that feel good?’ she asked as she rubbed his body with simple, mint-scented soap.
'We got lucky, darling, this soap smells much better, not like that rosey horror’ she told him, and he actually giggled softly at that. She washed every corner of Rodolphus' body, and her huge, aggressive bear just let her do what she wanted. It could have been charming, but it was so uncharacteristic of Rod that it ignited Bella's anger.
The dark lord's fault, the dark lord's fault, the dark lord's fault, Bella thought as she moved to Rod's jet black hair and poured shampoo over it.
The second batch of water turned completely black, as well, but the two Lestranges became clean, and after they climbed out of the tub, Bella covered them with two huge, soft white towels and they slowly dried off.
’Thank you, Bells’ wishpered Rodolphus, and she was just happy to hear his voice.
’You never have to thank me anything’ she told him, as she put on the green silk nightgown that appeared on one of her chairs. But Voldemort can ask for my forgivness.
In another life, Bella liked to sleep naked, so she could feel nothing but Rod's closeness. But now she didn't mind that she could hide her body, which she hated to look at.
The woman turned around in front of the bathroom mirror and - razor blade, right. Bellatrix was filled with amazing satisfaction, as Rodolphus's dark beard gradually disappeared, revealing his mouth.
’Here you are’ she wishpered when the beard was no more, leaving behind smooth, pale skin; she placed a short kiss on his lips, but Rodolphus suddenly pulled her close and deepened it.
’Hmmmm’ she murmured. ’Lets go, eat something’ she pulled away, took Roddie by the hand and pulled him into the bedroom.
Emerald sent up cheese slices, apple rings, and crusty bread with hot butter. Bellatrix was quietly grateful; she wasn't sure her stomach could handle a heavier food, after the shapeless porridge she'd been given in prison.
As she took a bite of cheese, she watched as Rodolphus settled down on the bed, throwing a silk pillow behind him, holding a goblet of the weak wine that came with the meal. The man didn't eat anything.
Bella swallowed the cheese, took a piece of the hot buttered, lightly spiced bread, walked over to the bed and handed it to him. Rod shook his head wordlessly and took a sip of wine.
’Come on, baby’ Bellatrix pleaded. ’You need to eat.’
’For the dark lord?’ asked Rodolphus, one dark eyebrows up. Tuché; it was something the old Bella would’ve said. You have remain fit, to serve our lord. Considering Rodolphus' slightly sarcastic tone, Bella wasn't alone in the doubts that plagued her tonight.
’No’ she said stubbornly. ’For yourself. Delphini. Maybe for me, a bit?’ The stubbornness faded from Rod's features, replaced by tenderness. He put the wine glass on the nightstand. Bella settled into his lap, ridding herself of the underpants he was wearing in one move, and suddenly there was nothing between them but burning, stretching, throbbing flesh. Rodolphus let out a long, low moan.
’Come on, bear’ Bella wishpered, as she rocked in the other's lap, trying to hold back the rush of feeling. ’Just a bite for me?’
It was some new game between them; a bite from Bella's palm, a quick, rippling motion, deeper, deeper. Their old games were somehow wilder, usually about blood and blades, but this one was somehow more personal. And it worked; Rodolphus was eating.
'Yes' he whined after swallowing the last bite of the bread and thrusting his hips up.
’Good boy’ murmured Bella, and that worked too; she watched with a soft laugh as he blushed at the compliment.
’Bella’ he sighed and quickened his movements.
’Not yet’ she wispered kindly, and waved her free hand, and a piece of cheese floated into her plam. Beyond the haze of burning need, she suppressed her shock. It was the first spell which worked for her, in fourteen years. And it was a nonverbal one.
’Now, now, now’ repeated Rodolphus, his tongue quickly covering the mouthfuls without pausing. The cheese was gone and Bella was at her limit anyway.
’Go on then’ she wishpered, resting her head on Rodolphus' chest, her hair falling around them, weaving a dark, hot web around the two of them, shutting them off from the outside world.
*
Bellatrix woke up the next morning to a soft knocking. She groaned and pressed her face to Rodolphus' chest, but he called out, his voice low and gravelly.
'Come in!'
In the doorway stood Delphini, half-smiling, picnic basket in her arms; Bellatrix was heart-pounding to see her daughter wearing the green and silver uniform of a Slytherin; it meant she was sorted into the same house as all her family before her: good.
’Good morning’ she said. ’Did I wake you guys? I hope not: it’s just that, I thought we could have breakfast in the garden? I have half an hour, then I need to go back to school. I should’t be here in the first place, but I bothered Aunt Cissy so much she let me come. Dray will kill me if I leave him alone with the Slytherin hierarchy much longer, so….’
Bellatrix blinked. As someone who excelled at torturing others, the flowing, non-stop speech was not particularly alien to her: but Delphini just seemed excited, and had a lot to say.
’Morning princess’ said Rodolphus, and Bella almost could hear his smile. ’An indoor breakfast sounds great. Who’s Dray?’
’My cousin, Draco’ Delphini said cheerfully. She put the picnic basket on the bed and lay down herself, climbing up between her parents. 'I know, Mother, you don't like Uncle Lucius, but Draco is a good boy, he's always there for me.'
Bella suddenly remembered another little girl with dark hair, who, like Delphini, looked surprisingly like her and talked a lot when she was excited. She'd persuaded her and Cissa to sneak into Father and Mother's bedchamber and surprise them. Don’t think about Andromeda!
Bella blinked again. Why, why is that, when her girl is talking to her its like somebody has poured hot wax into her mouth and she can't speak? Her vision suddenly sharpened and focused on a single point, while everything else around her seemed blurred and irrelevant: a phenomenon that began in prison and did not seem to have left her. Bella took this, too, as a sign of the madness that lurked around her.
She watched as one of Delphini's jet-black locks of hair slowly lightened to a sunlit golden colour.
’You are a metamorfmagus?’ she asked, a bit hoarsely.
'Yeah' said her daughter lightly. 'Aunt Cissy says it's a Black trait too? My natural look is exactly like yours, but my eyes are like Daddy's. The blonde is just a little something extra.' Delphini closed her eyes and the sun-kissed locks disappeared, giving way to natural, curly, midnight-black hair.
Bellatrix was filled with a surprising, ridiculous satisfaction at the thought that her daughter looked like her, what's more, she had inherited a special, rare magical ability from her family line. As she crawled out of bed, she saw Rodolphus grinning from ear to ear at his daughter's reference to him as 'Daddy.' Men were truly ridiculous.
Bella found a clean, simple dark gown on one of the chairs and was getting dressed when Delphini added in a chatty voice:
’It’s the same ability that Nymphadora Vulpecula, Aunt Andromeda’s girl have.’ Bellatrix spun around, the understated dark silk dress forgotten.
’Aunt Andromeda?’ she repated with cold anger. ’I have no sister by that name, and you certainly have no cousin other than Draco.’
Delphini didn't seem upset, which, beyond the frosty, raging fury, Bella found exeptional. Not many could have stood her wrath.
’But you do have another sister, Mom. And Dora is my cousin. The fact that you choose to ignore them is your loss, and is another question in itself. But they exist, regardless.’
'Is that what Narcissa taught you? To take into account a bunch of half-bloods and blood traitors?' hissed Bellatrix. She hated talking to her daughter like this, yet she could barely see out of sheer rage.
'She taught me that family is important, above everything,' Delphini said, suddenly just as coldly, 'that no blood matters, only what binds us together, and that although on the surface you have to keep up an image, family is family. ’
’So what if Aunt Andy married a Muggle-born? Her choice, she's still a Black. She also taught me that a Black does not bow, yet you bowed to the Dark Lord. I don't judge you for it, because it was your choice, and a Black does what she wants, but if I wish to regard Andromeda and Nim as my family, I will do so.'
Bellatrix felt as if she had been slapped, and that had not happened to her since she was eighteen.
A Black does not bow. It was a lesson that both Papa and Uncle Orion taught to all the Black kids so early that Bella couldn't remember a time when she didn't know this as a fact. For years she hadn't thought of the contradiction that Papa had bowed to the Dark Lord, after all. If she did think about it, she concluded that the Dark Lord was special and exceptional, and therefore deserved to be bowed to. But where was Voldemort now? He had abandoned his wounded soldiers.
If I wish to regard Andromeda and Nim as my family, I will do so. Somewhere deep down, Bella thought appreciatively of her daughter's fearless resistance. Nymphadora Vulpecula. Vulpecula was the name of a constellation that meant “little fox”. Clearly Andromeda chose to follow the Black tradition of star names when giving her daughter a middle name. Just like when Bella choose Delphini. It was for Delphinus: a small constellation in the Northern Celestial Hemisphere, close to the celestial equator. The name was latin for the Greek word for dolphin, which Bellatrix found charming, in secreet. The thousand little similarities and differences between the two names; two stars; foxes and dolphins: why did they have to hurt so much?
Bellatrix turned away from Delphini and smoothed down the dark dress.
'So what's in your basket, princess?' Rodolphus asked, in a clear attempt to break the icy mood.
'Tomatoes, onions, hot bread, herb butter, cheese pie, a bit of ham, and pumpkin juice,' the girl listed, the icy edge disappearing from her voice. Bella got the message: the resistance was directed at her, not Rod, since Rod hadn't gone on a rampage.
Daddy's little girl, she thought with slight bitterness, not stopping to consider why it was suddenly so important to her if Delphini loved her or not.
If Bella had thought more about love, she would have known that it wasn't something that could run out, or something that wouldn't be given to others if given to more people. But Bella was not a philosophical person; she felt a stubborn, self-willed love for her family and rarely examined its circumstances.
And if someone didn't respond to this love the way Bella expected, like when Andy (or Sirius) ran away from home, it always hit Bella as an unexpected blow and she perceived it as betrayal.
’Sounds just perfect’ noded Rodolphus, and now fully dressed, he got up from the bed. He still looked deathly pale and tired, but he bowed playfully as he let the two women through the door and Bella saw a glimpse of his old self.
She wondered why Rod hadn't entered the argument earlier, but - then she was too cowardly to touch the question. What the fuck happend to me?
The February sunlight was mild as they walked through the Manor's gardens, but Bellatrix still found the outdoors an amazing experience.
Delphini must have gotten up early to take care of everything, because as they reached a grassy, clean area, Bella discovered a clean blanket where Bastan was sitting, peacefully, Emerald by his side.
’Good morning, Bas’ said Delphini, kindly. ’Thanks, Emmy, that would be all for the moment.’
The elf bowed without a word and turned into mist, and Delphini settled down next to Rabastan.
'Did you sleep well, uncle?' Delphini asked with genuine interest. Why can't I be like that, thought Bellatrix. What am I missing? What happened to me? I have known Rabastan since I was eleven years old; he is one of my best friends and yet I can't talk to him.
Rabastan stretched out his arms a little shakily, and embraced Delphini; from the corner of her eye, Bella could see how uncomfortable Rod seemed to be because of that, but Delphini gently let Bas do what he wanted.
'The voices didn't let me sleep' Rabastan murmured and Bella looked up in surprise. It was, interestingly, a sensible answer, and Bella knew what her brother-in-law was referring to. As a result of the prison, ex-prisoners often heard non-existent, rustling sounds, like the scurrying of dementors, which caused anxiety and insomnia. The only reason Bella was able to sleep last night was because of Rodolphus' body next to hers.
I'm sorry to hear that,' Delphini said gently. 'Before I go, I'll ask Aunt Cissy to give you a bottle of Dreamless Sleep Potion tonight.’
The girl took a bottle of pumpkin juice from the basket and handed it to her mother.
’It's good to have you here, for a number of reasons,’ Delphini noted, grabbing the bread and butter next. 'It will cheer up Aunt Cissy. She and Lucius have been fighting a lot lately.'
’About what?’ demanded Bella, feeling the protective instinct rise in her as it always did when it came to Narcissa.
’Well’ her girl told her. ’My uncle wants Draco marked, as soon as possible, even before his next birthday, and Aunt thinks that our family has given enough already. The three of you given enough; we don’t need more marks.’
’You don’t want to be marked?’ asked Rabastan, and Delphini reached out and took her uncle's hand.
'I respect your decisions and that you fought for what you believed in. But I won't bend. I won’t kneel.’
’Then you can’t be marked’ murmured Rodolphus. ’The Dark Lord requires perfect submission.’ Two pairs of perfectly identical dark eyes connected. ’Don’t you worry; you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. You are my girl; I’m going to protect you.’
Bellatrix watched the conversation with astonisment. What the hell happened?
’Me too’ muttered Rabastan, and when he felt Rodolphus’s uncertain gaze, raised his head. ’What?’ he asked, suddenly, wild. He clenched his hands into fists and Bella was surprised to feel magical wind suddenly rise around them, and shake the leaves of the trees.
’I’m still Rabastan Lastrange, and she is my niece. Nobody will bloody touch her.’
Rodolphus just looked at him for a moment, then nodded and smiled very slowly.
’Its fucking great to have you back, baby brother’ he told him then.
*
’Don’t you worry; you don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. You are my girl; I’m going to protect you?!’ screamed Bellatrix in their bedroom, after they had said goodbye to Delphini, and Narcissa had escorted her to Hogwarts.
'Are you crazy?' shouted Bella. 'Have the dementors sucked your brain out? Are you really that stupid?!' Her magic seemed to have returned at last; her anger tore through everything; the dressing-table mirror shattered, the blue silk of the bed burst into flames.
’Do you want our girl to kneel?’ asked Rodolphus clamly. ’Do you want her dead, when she gives lip to the Dark Lord, and he kills her, with a flick of his wand?’
’Of course I don’t want that!’ Bella cried. ’But its not about what I want.’
’Since when?’ grinned Rodolphus. The bastard had the audacity to grin. ’You are a Black! Blacks do what they damn well want, or so I hear.’
'In case you hadn't noticed, I've been going by the name Lastrange for a while now' hissed Bella.
'I've been on my knees long enough,' Rodolphus growled. 'I won't break.'
In one motion he picked up his wife and pushed her against the bathroom door.
'If Tom dares to touch Delphini' he whispered softly and bloodthirstyly. 'I wil tear off his pale balls and let him eat them. Afterwards, I will watch as my little brother breaks his every bone, piece by piece. And if there's anything left of him, it can be your toy, my love.’
’Condescending....arsehole' Bella moaned as Rod pushed up the fabric of the dark dress. ’I need more than that.’
’As you wish’ wispered Rodolphus, and the black, delicate material fell to the ground in pieces.
*
When the Dark Mark began to burn on Bella's arm, she clenched her jaw stubbornly. The feeling used to thrill her, but now all she could think about was what Delphini had said. Lucius wants Draco to have the mark as quickly as possible. Lucius Malfoly is nothing more than a lapdog: if that's what he wants, it means the Dark Lord is short of soldiers.
He wants to fill our ranks with children. But not mine. Not if its not what she wants. I given enough. I even given enough members of my family to the cause. Bella turned violently away from the painful memory of Regulus, and with a dark robe on her body, a silver mask on her features, a new wand in her hand, she disaparated.
She landed in a filthy graveyard, with Rodolphus on her right and Rabastan on her left, just as she always did, and without thinking, she threw herself to her knees.
'My dearest followers' hissed a silky voice, as if fourteen years had not passed. Bella didn't look up; I can't, I can't play the same role again. I just can’t.
The woman knelt motionless in the circle the Death Eaters had so elegantly created around Voldemort, and Tom walked quietly between them.
'We have awoken to a new dawn,' whispered Voldemort. 'And we shall prevail. But for that victory we need new family members. Miss Weasly?'
To that, Bellatrix did look up. Weasly? Wasn’t Arthur Weasly the biggest of blood traitors? Why would a child of his want to be a Death Eater?
The girl was tall, her hair was a fiery red, and curly, curly, curly. In the late moonlight of the night, her eyes shone brilliantly blue.
’Whats your name, child?’ hissed Voldemort. Bellatrix had to give it to Weasly: she didn’t flinch, but held her head high.
’Mafalda, my Lord’ she said softly.
’And why do you want to join us, Mafalda Weasly?’demanded Voldemort his voice like soft as the most expensive silk. Bellatrix knew this tactic and felt betrayed. I am disposable, just like used silk, and just as replaceable.
’Do you hate your father that much?’
’Arthur Weasley is not my father, My Lord’ answered the girl, understanding the question behind the question at once. ’He is my uncle: my father is a skvib, pushed to the edge of the family, even though he has done nothing wrong. ’
’Hmmm’ murmured Tom, almost gently. ’My question remains, Miss Weasly: why do you wish to join us, and betray your uncle and your entire family?’
'They despise me,' she whispered, passionately, and quietly.'They don't say it because it doesn't fit their good guy image, but they hate me. They think there's something wrong with me just because I've been sorted into Slytherin by the Hat. My dad doesn't cross the boundaries of the wizarding world anymore, and I don't blame him: this world didn't want him. But that means another branch of ’the family’ had to take me in. Uncle Arthur only took me in to sleep well at night. He thinks my mouth is too big, and I think I'm too clever. But I am clever. And I will show them… I will…’
The girl suddenly bit her lower lip, and fell silent, as if realizing she had said too much; she lowered her head.
’Interesting’ Voldemort whispered. 'In time we will find out, Miss Weasly, whether you will be a valued member of the family, or a snake in our arms that will bite us as soon as it gets bored. I have explained how this game is played: to join, you have to bring information. What can you tell me, little red kingsnake?’
Mafalda looked up, her blue eyes gleaming coldly.
'You already know about the prophecy about you and Harry Potter, my Lord,' said the little shuttle, shrieking. 'But I can tell you who in the Order of the Phoenix will be guarding it. I can tell you specifically when my uncle will guard it.'
Bellatrix felt sick; family is family, Delphini's voice whispered in her mind. She bowed her head even more deeply. Voldemort laughed, with a squeaky, long laugh.
’ What a delightful little creature you are!’ he laughed. 'That's just what we need.' Then his red gaze moved to Bella, and Black had no choice but to look up.
'I'm sure Bella's little Delphini is just as unforgettable. I'll see her soon, won't I Bella?'
I'll rip your head off first.
'Of course, my lord,' Bella replied, honey dripping from her lips. 'Of course.'
Her mother's harsh voice echoed in her ears, in chorus with her Aunt Walburga: close your mind, girl! Don't let him in!
'The sooner the better, my lord' she whispered.
For the first time in her life, she lied to Voldemort.
*
The mission was a disaster: indeed, Arthur Weasly was on guard duty, but the fool was a fiercely dangerous enemy in duel, suprisingly, and it seemed like he won't be pushed aside. The Death Eaters were falling like dry leaves, and Bella was ashamed of them.
Nagini bit Weasley, and when Bella awakened, she was lying in front of Voldemort, the blood-red, torturous curse burning into her skin.
Who are you to hurt me, haven't I suffered enough?,Bella wanted to shout, but she didn't have the strength. She screamed.
*
’He did this to you?!’ screamed Delphini. ’All of you?!’
Bellatrix winced, and let her daughter, who was sitting in front of her, touch her swollen face very gently. Bella hadn't had a real Christmas in a long time, but she thought hazily that Delphini deserved more than nursing the injured during the winter holidays.
'Quieter, please' she told her, and her dark, hard eyes softened.
’Sorry, Mama’ she answered, and Bella beyond the pain, felt foolish happiness.
’It’s part of the job, girl’ said Lucius, from behind Delphini. ’Your mother deserved…’
Delphini turned around so fast that Bella felt a breeze on her skin.
''If I were you,' she said in a dangerously low voice. 'I'd be very careful how I finish that thought, uncle.'
Lucius Malfoly fell silent.
*
The day after Christmas, Bella couldn't sleep, and Rodolphus and Bastan wandered with her through the dark corridors, lit only by the light of torches embedded in the walls. Sometimes Bella thought that at this point, the three of them had grown to be one creature; the two boys, her heart and her soul.
They slowly left the north wing and moved into Narcissa and Lucius' personal quarters. Bella blinked; they were standing in a spacious bedroom: this had happened to her a few times since prison. Missing moments.
'Bella?' asked Narcissa, dressed in the palest of pale purple silk nightgowns, with a delicate silver chain around her neck. At the end of the silver chain hung a detailed pendant shaped like a crystal flower. Bella grimaced in concentration. Why can't you remember the name of the flower? For some reason, this suddenly seemed ridiculously important.
The crystal was a very, very pale pink, the heart of the flower was a slightly stronger purple. A lily! Why was this so important? Bella felt herself fishing for some missing piece of information in the pale fog of her mind: reaching for something she once knew, something her sister had told her. Why is it important? Why? There was nothing there.
But in the next moment, Bella didn't have time to think anymore, because her eyes widened. Facing her, with the fireplace behind her, stood Andromeda: symmetrical, elegant Black features, a typical Black gaze, clean, and hard, and deep, hazel, long, curly hair, a shade lighter than her own.
Bella and Andy have always looked so much alike that if it weren't for the one year age difference between them, and the slightly lighter hair color, people would have thought they were twins. This fact now burned on Bella's soul like the mark she had on her arm.
’What the fuck is she doing here?’ she hissed.
’I mean no harm, Bellatrix’ Andromeda said, in a clam voice, tone so much like her own, it was a slap in itself. ’It’s Chrismas, and…’
It’s Chrismas, really? Thats her excuse?
'Get out of here before I gut you' the witch hissed. She stepped forward, wand in hand, (when did it get there?) and...
’That’s enough’ Narcissa's voice was unusually calculated and cold as she stepped between her two sisters. Bella stopped; she forgot that although Cissy most of the time maintains the image of a gentle doe, she could be just as tough an opponent as any Black.
'I called Andy here, and no one will harm her in my house.' Bella lowered her wand.
’You called her here? But why?’
Andy stood still; she wore a black robe, leather boots, and held both hands behind her back. The woman's hazel hair was held in a strict single thick braid. It didn't escape Bella's attention that her sister didn't step back, even at the sight of the wand: she didn't flinch.
'The Dark Lord has turned evil,' said Narcissa. 'He wants to yoke our children, and I don't want to see my son nor my niece as slaves.’
Bella gave Rod and Bas a nervous look. She agreed with Narcissa, and she hated it.
’So, what do you suggest?’ supringly it was Rabastan, who asked the question.
Bellatrix saw Rabastan's dark gaze fixed on Andy. The strange fog that surrounded her memories of Narcissa did not affect her brother-in-law. Bella knew that Father wanted Andy to marry Rabastan, and that Bas had always been in love with her sister. He never looked at anyone again after Andromeda ran away from home.
Andromeda gave Bas a faint smile and then looked at Bella.
’Come to Sirius, Bella’ she said, suprisingly gently. ’Bring Delphini, your husband, and your brother-in-law and Sirius will help.’
’Sirius is never going to….’
’He is our current Head of House, and once his name is cleared, he will have even more power’ Andromeda cut in. ’Even more importantly, he is still your family, and he is good man. Bring those you love to him, ask for his forgiveness, and he will protect you all.’
Bella and Rodolphus looked at each other. Is there a chance, really? For Delphini?
Rodolphus nodded slowly.
'He took you back, didn't he?' Narcissa asked. 'You, your daughter and your husband?'
Andy nodded with a slightly sarcastic smile.
'My name shines fresh on the family tapestry,' she answered. 'But I'm really glad that Nimphadora has a place.'
Doesn’t Delphini deserve that?
’When you come’ continued Andromeda ’bring Draco with you. It’s not too late for him. And do give Sirius some valuable information; he'll need something to trade with Dumbledore.’
There was a beat of silence between all of them.
'Don't make the wrong decision again, Cissy,' said Andy softly. She took one last gentle look at Rabastan (why?), turned around, and disappeared.
Bella and Cissy exchanged a pained look: Bella watched as Cissy gently took the crystal lily in both hands: it reflected the flames in the fireplace, painting it blood red.
*
'We'll use the visions to lure Potter out of safety,' Voldemort hissed. The red gaze stared at Bella. 'I expect to finally meet young Delphini on this mission, Bellatrix.’
Bellatrix Black Lastrange pursed her lips and didn't answer.
*
It was a cold January morning, and the snow fell in great flakes; Bellatrix, Narcissa, Delphini, Draco and the Lastrange brothers were standing in front of Grimauld Place. Bellatrix and Narcissa exchanged a heart-pounding look as Number Twelve slowly emerged from the rest. They may have last seen the house a lifetime ago; but this was home to them once.
The door opened, and on the other side stood Sirius Black: tall, fierce, and, despite his years, immensely handsome; his dark locks stood in a thousand directions, his eyes just like Bella's.
’He wants to use the visions to lure Potter out of safety, cousin’ Bella said, without any introduction, or hesitation. Now, or never.
Sirius pursed his lips stubbornly; his face flashed with savage hatred for a moment, and Bella thought; the House of Black is, indeed, Voldemort's enemy now.
Then Sirius simply stepped aside and let them in.
As the door closed behind them, Bella pulled a cursed knife from the folds of her robes and held it out to her cousin.
’You must cut out our marks, Siri,' said the witch. 'So that he doesn't find us. Fast.'
Sirius Black smiled and bowed playfully.
’As you wish, Madame Lastrange’ he said.
As her cousin held the knife, Bella thought; so, we have a fighting chance, after all. To be free.