Archive of Our Own ^beta

Junhui likes his life. It’s simple—he wakes up, he feeds the chickens, he checks the crops. He feeds the barn cats, he hits the fields. It’s simple. It’s the easy Tennessee life.

Things are a little different on Sundays, but at least it’s the same every Sunday. He drives his beat-up van into town and he sets up on the square for the Farmers Market for the next several hours, well into the afternoon sun being high in the sky. It’s normal. It’s routine.

It’s even routine for Jinghua to come sit with him in the afternoon—she’s Junhui’s mother’s best friend, after all. He grew up with Jinghua sitting with his mom at the Farmers Market, and now she sits with him. It’s nice. He likes her.

He particularly liked her son, but that’s neither here nor there.

Usually. Usually it’s neither here nor there.

“My son is back,” Jinghua says with a grin when she sits down at the table next to Junhui, in the chair he keeps for her. “He moved home.”

“Minghao’s back?” Junhui asks. He wonders if Jinghua hears how nervous he sounds.

“He is,” Jinghua says. “He should be by soon. He was showing Sujia around.”

“His daughter.”

“That’s her!” Jinghua laughs. “Little spitfire. Last I saw them, she was dragging him around looking for lemonade. I left him to deal with that so I could come sit with you.”

Junhui is very familiar with stories about Sujia—Jinghua carefully avoids talking directly about Minghao, but she’ll talk about her granddaughter all day. Junhui isn’t sure if talking about Minghao or Minghao’s daughter is worse.

He kind of thinks that talking about Sujia is worse, because it’s a haunting reminder that Minghao moved on from needing Junhui in his life. They were best friends for nearly 18 years and Minghao just… moved on from that. He had a child and didn’t need Junhui around for it. He just needed Liena.

If he thinks about Liena for too long, it makes him so upset that he gets nauseous. He can’t be nauseous when he’s about to see Minghao again for the first time in eight years. He can’t throw up in front of Minghao and his five-year-old. That would be so embarrassing and then he’d have to die.

In the end, Junhui sees Sujia before he sees Minghao. He recognizes her from pictures that Jinghua has shown him and he would put it together anyway with the way she flings herself at Jinghua. 

“Sujia!” someone calls out, laughter laced in their voice. Junhui would recognize Minghao’s voice anywhere. He nearly shivers. Minghao jogs up and he smiles at Jinghua. “Sujia, we talked about being gentle with people.”

“Ah, she’s fine,” Jinghua laughs.

“I’m fine!” Sujia says with a grin. She looks at Junhui like she’s just realized he’s there. “Oh. Hi.”

“Hi, Sujia,” Junhui says gently. “I’m Junhui. I’m friends with your grandmother.”

“Do you know my dad?”

Straight to the point then. Junhui really doesn’t know what to say.

“I’ve known Junhui for a lot longer than you’ve been alive,” Minghao laughs. 

“Are you old too?” Sujia asks Junhui. 

“Sujia!” Minghao scolds, but he’s still smiling and she turns her smile on him where she’s still wrapped up in Jinghua’s arms. Spitfire, definitely.

“I’m even older than your dad,” Junhui says to Sujia with a smile. 

“Like my grandma?”

“Not quite,” Junhui laughs. “In between them. How old are you?”

He knows she’s five, but he doesn’t particularly want to reveal how much he’s kept up with Minghao. That’s embarrassing and then he’d have to die.

“I’m five,” Sujia says, holding up five fingers split over two hands, weirdly enough. It takes her a second to add her fingers together to five, but Junhui has a feeling that she’s flexing her basic addition in front of her dad. It is impressive. “How old are you?”

“I’m 32,” Junhui says. “Older than your dad. Do you know how old he is?”

“He’s 30!”

Minghao laughs. “Good job, Sujia. Hi, Junhui. It’s good to see you.”

Is it? Is it really? Junhui doesn’t know how he feels about Minghao standing in front of him, so he doesn’t know how Minghao would feel about it at all. It’s been eight years since Junhui knew what Minghao was thinking.

“You too, Minghao,” Junhui says with a small smile. He can feel Jinghua watching him and he wonders what she knows. “You look good.”

Minghao’s smile widens. “I look like a dad, it’s alright. You can say that.”

“It’s a good look!” Junhui laughs. “The New Balances really do it for me.”

Minghao makes a little “psh” noise before he turns to Jinghua. “We did find lemonade, even after you abandoned us.”

“I had to come sit with Junhui like I always do,” Jinghua says with a smirk. “I had to reconnect you boys.”

“We would have done it on our own, thanks,” Minghao laughs. 

Would they have? That’s fascinating.

Sujia must have been looking around, because she looks at Junhui. “Are these your vegetables?”

“They are,” Junhui says. “I grow them on my farm.”

“Whoa,” Sujia says, her eyes wide. Junhui is kind of enamored by her. She also looks just like Minghao and that probably has something to do with it. “Do you have animals?”

“I have chickens.”

“The chickens are fun, little bee,” Minghao says. Oh, God. He calls her “little bee.”

“Can we go see them?” she asks Minghao. There’s desperate hope in her voice. She would really like to see those chickens.

What’s Junhui supposed to do? Say no?

“You can,” Junhui says with a smile. “If you come in the evening, you can help me feed them.”

Sujia gasps and stares at Minghao like she’s daring him to say no to the chickens. Minghao laughs and shakes his head.

“We can go see the chickens one day,” Minghao says. “Not today though. We’ve got to go meet your mom for lunch and swap you.”

“Mommy can wait.”

Minghao laughs, loud and happy, and Junhui realizes he’s just been staring. That’s embarrassing. He looks at Sujia instead, but that’s almost worse. 

“Mommy can’t wait,” Minghao says. “She’d be so sad if you didn’t go to lunch and we can’t have that. It’s time for you to go to her house anyway.”

Sujia sighs wistfully. “But we can go see the chickens next week?”

“If Junhui says it’s okay.”

“Next week works,” Junhui says. That gives him an entire week to prepare. He can work with that. Probably. “Minghao, is your number still the same?”

Minghao nods. “Yeah. I’ll text you? We’ll work out a time?”

“Sure, yeah,” Junhui says with a smile. It feels a little forced, but he hopes it doesn’t look like it. He really is trying to mean it. “Sounds good. Are you guys off then?”

“Got to meet Liena,” Minghao says with a nod. “We should all get together sometime. I know she missed you.”

Junhui barely holds himself back from saying “no.” He knows they were friends in college, but then they weren’t in college and Liena and Minghao were together and he doesn’t think they need to rehash that. Still, it would look really weird if he said no.

“Yeah, of course,” Junhui says. “I didn’t realize she moved back with you.”

“Ah, her family moved back to China so she didn’t really have roots anywhere, but we wanted to be closer to family,” Minghao explains, talking like they’re still together. Junhui knows they’re not, he knows they’re just being good co-parents, but Minghao still talks about them as a unit. Ouch. “So here we are. She lives a couple streets over, actually. We just got here a few days ago, but she’s somehow already settled.”

“And you’re not?” Junhui asks. “That’s surprising.”

“I had the munchkin last week,” Minghao says with a smile. “I’ll do more this week. Speaking of, come on, little bee. Can’t be late.”

Sujia peels away from Jinghua and takes Minghao’s hand when he puts it out. They’re a picture-perfect pair and Junhui bets Liena slots right in there. She was always beautiful. He bets she still is.

“I’ll text you, Junhui,” Minghao says. “Ma, I’ll see you in a few days.”

Jinghua and Junhui wave as Minghao and Sujia walk away, Sujia pulling Minghao behind her. 

Jinghua turns to talk to Junhui, switching topics to her neighbor that Junhui hates, and Junhui is glad she doesn’t ask about how kind of weird Junhui was being. He lets out a breath of relief and joins the gossip and sells his vegetables. It’s almost a normal Sunday.

A week later, Junhui gets the text.

Minghao: Hey Junhui!

Minghao: Thanks for agreeing to the chicken thing, I know Sujia kind of sprung it on you

Minghao: She’s definitely still asking, but we can work around your schedule

Junhui, impressively, doesn’t hyperventilate when Minghao’s name pops up on his phone. He deleted their last messages a long time ago, which means this is an entirely new chat. It hurts more than he would have thought it would, but he also never thought he would get another text from Minghao.

Fuck, he has to respond.

Junhui: Hey, Minghao.

Junhui: No worries, I’m happy she was interested

Junhui: I really have the same schedule every day, so pick a day and come around 6? I feed the chickens around 7, figured we might have dinner first

Did he figure that? Did he really?

What is he trying to do here? He doesn’t think he knows.

Minghao: Oh, sure! That sounds great

Minghao: Tuesday?

Junhui: Works for me

Junhui: I’m at the house behind Mom’s, you know the one

Minghao: I do. We’ll be there at 6! Thank you for this, Jun

Jun. Junhui kind of wants to gut himself like a fish. 

Junhui: You’re welcome :)

Junhui very vividly remembers the last conversation he had with Minghao.

It was nothing remarkable and Junhui had no idea that it would be the end at the time. It was shortly after Minghao graduated college, as he was settling into his new apartment and new job in the city, and Minghao called Junhui as he was unpacking his kitchen just to talk. 

He remembers that they didn’t say anything groundbreaking, save one thing. Minghao said that he was a little sad that he wasn’t moving back home like they’d planned for so long and Junhui said “don’t be sad, this is something you wanted, we’ve talked about this” and that was it. They’d talked at length about Minghao taking this job. They didn’t need to rehash it while Minghao put his coffeemaker together. 

They hung up, and that was the end. Neither of them texted again, neither of them called. Junhui thought about it, but by the time he did, it had been a week and Minghao hadn’t reached out either. It felt too late.

It’s been too late ever since.

There’s a knock on Junhui’s front door and when he goes to open it, he can hear Sujia talking to Minghao on the other side of the door. He smiles on instinct and wonders when that instinct kicked in.

“Hey,” he says when he opens the door. “Hi, Sujia.”

“Hi, Jun,” Sujia says. Minghao just laughs. “Can we go see the chickens?”

“Not yet,” Junhui says. “Our dinner first, then their dinner. Sound okay?”

Sujia takes a moment before she nods. “I can wait. I’m very patient.”

“Sounds like you are,” Junhui laughs. “You two can leave your shoes in here, I almost have dinner ready. Table’s set too.”

“We could have helped,” Minghao says, clearly fretting about it. 

Junhui doesn’t know what possesses him to put a hand on Minghao’s shoulder, guiding him into the kitchen. “It’s not a big deal. I would have cooked any other night, it’s fine.”

Minghao looks sideways as Sujia snoops around the kitchen. “Alright. If you’re sure.”

Junhui hums and nods. “Sujia, what do you want to drink?”

They get drinks sorted out and settle at the table once Junhui has set everything out and Junhui watches Minghao make Sujia’s plate with a smile. They’re very cute, the two of them. He always knew Minghao would be a good dad.

There was a time where Junhui was convinced Minghao would be a good dad to their kids. Then he never told Minghao how he felt, so that ship kind of sailed.

“Sujia,” Minghao says, getting her attention. “You know how I went to the same school you’re going to go to? Junhui went there too.”

“Really?”

“I did,” Junhui says with a smile. “You’re going to have so much fun. You’re starting kindergarten, right?”

“Yeah!” Sujia says. Junhui nods along as she tells him all about pre-school and her two years there in Nashville, about all of her friends and her teachers. She’s a talker, which she definitely got from Liena. Junhui hates that thought. 

It isn’t that he hates Liena—far from it. He knows she’s a good person, knows that she’s a good mom, but Liena got to have everything he wanted and even now that they’re broken up, Liena still has a piece of Minghao. They still have Sujia. They’re still best friends, if what his mother told him yesterday is right. Liena has had everything from Minghao that Junhui ever wanted.

She may still have it. All Junhui knows is that they’ve been broken up for nearly five years, but they’re still best friends. There could still be something there.

He doesn’t think he could handle seeing them together in his and Minghao’s hometown. He thinks he would have to cut his losses and move at that point. That would be his breaking point.

Minghao starts explaining that he’ll be an elementary art teacher at Sujia’s school and Junhui smiles.

“That’ll be good for you both,” Junhui says. “Sujia, are you excited?”

“It’ll be so fun to have Daddy there,” Sujia gushes. 

“I think it’ll make a new school less scary,” Minghao says. “Since she’ll know where I am.”

“And I can go to Daddy’s classroom after school!” Sujia says with a grin. “He has all kinds of art things. He even has the special scissors.”

Minghao laughs. “The ones that cut in patterns,” he says to Junhui. “Weren’t those your favorite?”

Ouch. “Yeah,” Junhui says, holding onto his smile for dear life. “Sujia, I’m not very artistic. Your dad took all of that, so I had to rely on the scissors to make things pretty.”

“I can teach you,” Sujia says so earnestly. Junhui actually smiles at that. “I’m very good at art. I think.”

“I bet you are,” Junhui laughs. “I’d love it if you taught me what you know. I’m sure it’s a lot.”

“I’ll bring all my markers next time,” Sujia says. “Or do you like crayons? I have more colors of those.”

Junhui is, admittedly, enraptured by this child. He’s always liked kids, but he’s never been in such close proximity to one for a long period of time, and he’s glad it’s this one. Liena and Minghao have raised her well. That thought only hurts like a third-degree burn for 30 seconds instead of a minute this time.

“I prefer crayons,” Junhui decides. “We’ll have to set something up. We’ll coordinate with your assistant.”

“Is that me?” Minghao asks with a laugh.

“Mhm,” Junhui hums. “Every good artist needs an assistant. They can’t manage everything by themselves.”

“Right,” Sujia says with a nod. “Daddy is a very good assistant.”

“Thank you, little bee,” Minghao laughs. “You’re such a good boss. She really is my boss, by the way.”

Junhui laughs. “Good. As it should be.”

They spend the rest of dinner talking about what Sujia plans to teach Junhui when she brings her crayons and Minghao offers to facilitate the whole thing and is this Junhui’s life now that Minghao is back? Are his best friends going to be Wonwoo and a five-year-old whose dad he’s still half in love with?

And oh, that’s a thought. Is he still half in love with Minghao?

He looks across the table at Minghao and Minghao smiles when they make eye contact. Fuck. Yeah, Junhui really is.

By seven, Junhui can hear the chickens in the yard and he knows it’s time to feed them.

“Do you want to go feed the chickens?” Junhui asks Sujia as they clean up their plates. She nods enthusiastically. “Can I hold your hand while we go out there so you don’t fall?”

“Yeah!” Sujia says, putting out her hand immediately. “We can hold hands.”

Oh, God, Junhui loves this kid. He loves Minghao’s kid. This is bad for him. This is really bad for him. 

Junhui takes Sujia’s hand and Minghao smiles brightly at them and Junhui tries to pretend it doesn’t make something in his stomach flutter. He leads Sujia outside and to the barn to get the bucket of chicken feed before he leads her to the chicken yard.

“Oh,” Sujia says when she sees the chickens. “They’re very big.”

Junhui guesses they are to someone so small. “Is that okay?”

Sujia grips his hand tightly. “Yeah, it’s okay. I’m very brave.”

“Yes, you are,” Junhui says. Minghao hangs back, watching them, and he’s really letting Junhui sink or swim here. “I’m going to open the gate, okay?”

“Okay.”

Junhui opens the gate and two of the chickens come out quickly and they get too close to Sujia for comfort, because she makes a little noise of distress. Two more chickens come out and Sujia moves behind him and Junhui moves quickly, setting the bucket down and picking Sujia up so she isn’t on the ground with them. He props her on his hip and looks at her, checking in.

“They’re scary,” Sujia whispers, her little face screwed up like she’s trying not to cry.

“You’re doing very well,” Junhui says softly. “I won’t let them touch you, okay? You can stay up here with me.”

“But they have to eat.”

“Minghao,” Junhui says, looking behind him. “Do you remember how to feed the chickens?”

“Yeah, of course,” Minghao says, coming up behind them and picking up the bucket of chicken feed. He starts to feed them and Junhui holds Sujia above them.

Sujia watches Minghao with wide eyes while Junhui watches her. “Daddy knows how?”

“I taught your dad when he was your age,” Junhui says. It hurts as he says it. “You know, he was really scared of them too.”

“I was,” Minghao says, coming back up to Sujia. He doesn’t move to take her from Junhui. “Jun taught me to feed them and that made them less scary. They’re just hungry, little bee.”

“I couldn’t do it,” Sujia says, tucking her head in Junhui’s neck. “I wasn’t very brave.”

“You were,” Junhui says. “You tried your best. You can try again another day, okay? You can teach me art and I’ll teach you how to feed the chickens. It might take a little bit, but we’ll both learn.”

“Okay,” Sujia says quietly after a moment. 

“I have dessert inside,” Junhui offers. “Would that make you feel better?”

Sujia perks up and looks at Minghao. Minghao laughs and nods. “Come on then. Inside we go.”

Junhui carries Sujia inside with him, setting her down when they get inside. She follows him to the kitchen and he hands her a plate with a small brownie on it, watching her take it to the table to eat. Minghao hangs back with Junhui.

“Thank you,” Minghao says softly. “You’re really good with her. I figured you would be.”

“And how’d you figure that?” Junhui asks with a laugh.

“Is it selfish if I said that she’s my kid so I knew you’d be good with her like you were good with me?”

“A little bit.”

Minghao laughs. “Alright, I’ll own that. I’m glad she likes you though. I was hoping she would if we were going to be around each other again.”

“Are we?” Junhui asks before he can stop himself. “I was under the impression that you wouldn’t want to see me again.”

“Why?” Minghao asks, and Junhui can tell that he’s hurt by that. Junhui was hurt by all of it, so he doesn’t quite feel bad. 

“We haven’t spoken in eight years, Minghao,” Junhui says. He keeps watching Sujia because he can’t look at Minghao. “I didn’t really think we were still friends.”

“Oh.”

“I just mean that it isn’t exactly easy to assume that you still wanted to be.”

“I just thought—” Minghao stops himself. “I thought the problem was that I lived in the city. I thought now that I’m home, I— But that was naïve of me. I get that. I’m sorry. We should probably go.”

Minghao starts to move to get Sujia and Junhui realizes with a sudden and aching clarity that he won’t survive Minghao walking away again. He darts his hand out to take Minghao by the wrist, pulling him back.

“I didn’t mean that we couldn’t be friends again,” Junhui says softly. 

“You don’t have to.”

Junhui lies. “I want to be.”

He doesn’t want to be friends again. He wants to have Minghao like he’s always wanted to, but he knows not to push it. Maybe friends is he's all he’s supposed to be with Minghao. He can handle that. He can.

Minghao hesitates before he moves his hand to take Junhui’s, squeezing it once before he drops it. “Okay. If you’re sure. I know I’ve been gone and I’ve missed a lot.”

“I’ve missed a lot with you too,” Junhui says, looking at Sujia. “I’d like to make that up.”

“I think she’ll let you,” Minghao laughs softly. “We really should get out of your hair for now though. I’ll text you about this art date you’ve set up with my child?”

Junhui laughs. “That works. Thanks for coming over.”

“Thanks for letting us,” Minghao says. “Thanks for wanting to be friends again.”

Junhui smiles and says nothing. He’s afraid he’ll give himself away. 

“Sujia,” Minghao calls. Sujia looks up. “Time to go, little bee. We’ll come back and see Jun another day.”

“And I’ll bring my crayons,” Sujia says as she brings the plate to Junhui. “Thank you for the brownie.”

“You’re welcome,” Junhui laughs. “Thank you for hanging out with me.”

“Mhm!” Sujia says. She takes Minghao’s hand and lets Minghao guide her to the door. They pull their shoes back on and Junhui follows them to the door. “Bye, Jun!”

“Bye, Sujia,” Junhui says with a smile. “Bye, Minghao.”

Minghao says a soft goodbye before he and Sujia leave, closing the door behind them.

Fuck. Junhui puts his head in his hands and tries not to cry.

As young as he was, Junhui remembers meeting Minghao. He was six, Minghao was five, and their mothers introduced them to each other carefully. They were both shy children, but they took to each other as soon as Junhui showed Minghao the dinosaur plush he still brought with him everywhere.

“It’s so cool!” Minghao said, and Junhui knew he could trust Minghao.

He trusted Minghao every day after that, right up until he didn’t.

“So,” Junhui says to Wonwoo the next day in his living room. “I may or may not have done something that I would label ‘charmingly stupid.’”

“How is something charmingly stupid?” Wonwoo sighs. He leans back into the couch like he’s already tired of Junhui. “Most things you do are just stupid. Not really charming.”

“Fuck you, man.”

“I wish you wouldn’t.”

“Anyway!” Junhui says. “Remember how I told you about Minghao?”

Wonwoo moved to town five years ago, so he never got to meet Minghao. Maybe that’s for the best. Minghao tends to win people over and Junhui needs someone who’s entirely his. 

“Your former best friend, yes,” Wonwoo says. “What about him? You haven’t talked about him in years.”

“He’s back.”

Wonwoo sits up, his eyes wide. “Like, back here? In town?”

“Yup,” Junhui says, popping the “p.” “He moved back with his daughter and his ex.”

“And his ex?”

“They’re co-parenting and they’re apparently best friends,” Junhui says. “How that worked out, I have no idea, but here they are. Both of them. Here.”

“I got that part, yeah,” Wonwoo says. His eyes are still so wide behind his glasses. “Have you seen him?”

“I’ve hung out with him and his daughter,” Junhui sighs. “I invited them over after I saw them at the Farmers Market. Sujia wanted to see the chickens.”

“Junhui…”

“I know.” 

Wonwoo watches him for a too long moment. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“Iwasinlovewithhim.”

“Sorry?”

Junhui sighs and puts his head in his hands. “I was in love with him. When we were friends.”

“Oh, Junhui,” Wonwoo says softly. He sounds like he pities Junhui. Oh, God. “For how long?”

Junhui braces himself. “Since I was 16.”

“Until you were, what, 23?”

“So, this is where I get charmingly stupid,” Junhui says. “I think I’m still in love with him.”

“Junhui, no.”

Junhui groans. “Junhui, yes. I realized it while he and his daughter were at my dining room table. How awful is that?”

“So you’re not going to see him again?”

“What?” Junhui asks. “Why wouldn’t I?”

Wonwoo stares at him. “Because you’re in love with him? And it’s going to hurt when he’s still not in love with you?”

Junhui flinches. “Ouch, Won.”

“I’m just saying,” Wonwoo says. “You’ve spent half your life being in love with him and he hasn’t reciprocated. He went and had a child with someone else. Why would it be any different now?”

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Junhui finds himself arguing. “We’ve grown up. Things could be different now.”

He didn’t realize he was hoping that was the case until he said it out loud, but God, he really hopes so, doesn’t he? He really hopes that things could be different. 

“Junhui.”

“Wonwoo.”

“You’re going to get yourself really hurt over this.”

Junhui sighs. “Nothing hurts worse than him being gone. Even when I was in love with him and we were only friends, it was better than not having him at all. I can say that one with confidence.”

“Are you sure you’re going to be able to handle it again?” 

“No,” Junhui admits. “I’m going to do it anyway.”

Wonwoo sighs heavily. “Nothing I say is going to stop you from this, is it?”

“Probably not, no.”

“Okay,” Wonwoo says. “I guess it makes sense. I wondered why you never seriously dated anyone. Have you told anyone else about him?”

“No.”

“No wonder you never got over him,” Wonwoo says. “Maybe now that you’re talking about it, you will.”

Junhui doesn’t know how to say that he doesn’t remember who he was before he was in love with Minghao. He doesn’t know how to say that he doesn’t really want to find out. 

“Maybe,” he says instead. “Yeah, maybe.”

“I want to meet him.”

Junhui rolls his eyes. “You’re going to be hostile.”

“I’m not!” Wonwoo says. “Obviously he’s a good guy and you like him for a reason. Pardon me for wanting to meet my best friend’s friends.”

“Fine, you can meet him,” Junhui says. “Oh, speaking of meeting friends, did I ever tell you that his ex was our mutual friend in college?”

“No way.”

“Yeah. Way to kick me while I’m down. It all happened after we stopped talking, but it only took two years for them to get together.”

“Two years is kind of a long time.” Junhui glares at Wonwoo and Wonwoo holds his hands in the air in surrender. “I’m just saying. What’s she like?”

Junhui groans. “She’s great. She was a great friend, she’s beautiful, and she and Minghao are apparently still best friends, five years after breaking up. It’s like God is laughing at me. Want to know the worst part?”

“Of course.”

“I introduced them.”

“Damn, man.”

“Yeah. Damn.”

Junhui and Jinghua are sitting at the Farmers Market when Sujia comes running up to Junhui’s stand.

“Jun!” Sujia yells. “Hi!”

“Hi, Sujia,” Junhui laughs. “Where’s your dad?”

“Daddy’s at home,” Sujia says. “Mommy’s… somewhere.”

“Mommy’s here,” a woman laughs, and Junhui looks up at Liena. She’s a tall woman, willowy and beautiful, and she’s smiling at Junhui. “Hi, Jinghua. Hi, Junhui.”

“Hi, Liena,” Junhui says, trying to hide how nervous he is. “Good to see you. You look nice.”

She does—she’s wearing a cute sundress and her sandals match Sujia’s.

“Do you know my mom?” Sujia asks, cocking her head to the side in a question. “I thought you were Daddy’s friend.”

“He’s my friend too, sweetheart,” Liena says. “I haven’t known him as long as your dad has, but we were friends in college.”

“Oh,” Sujia says. “What’s college?”

“It’s school for really big kids,” Junhui says. “It means I’ve known your mom since before you were born too.”

“You’re so old,” Sujia sighs. “You can be my friend anyway.”

“You’re so kind,” Junhui laughs. Liena is watching them with a smile on her face. “How have you been, Liena?”

He doesn’t really want to know. He asks anyway, because Liena was always a good friend to him. 

“I’ve been good,” Liena says. “Just settling into a new place. I’m working in an office on the square, actually, so it’s been fun. Minghao said you two have gotten together. I have to say that I’m jealous.”

Oh, Liena doesn’t know the first thing about jealousy. He doesn’t say that, because that’s so bitchy that it makes his stomach hurt.

“We’ll all have to get dinner or something,” Junhui says instead. “Just like old times.”

Why did he have to say it like that? Idiot.

Liena laughs. “Just like old times, plus the rugrat.”

“Hey!” Sujia says. “I know you’re talking about me.”

“I wasn’t trying to hide it,” Liena teases. Sujia goes to cling to her legs and Liena runs a hand through her hair. “How about tomorrow? I know Minghao’s free.”

She still knows his schedule. Junhui is going to throw his brain against a wall. 

Wait, tomorrow? He didn’t realize they were putting this into action. He was supposed to be safe from this.

“Sure,” Junhui says. Idiot. “There’s a pizza place across the square Sujia might like.”

Sujia nods frantically and Liena laughs. “Sounds good. 5:30?”

“Yeah, that’s great.” Liar. “Can I interest you in any vegetables?”

“Hook me up with some tomatoes,” Liena says after looking over the stand. “Then we’ve got to get to lunch, Sujia.”

“Daddy and Mommy and I have lunch on Sundays,” Sujia tells Junhui as he bags up a few tomatoes.

“That’s wonderful, Sujia,” Junhui says, ringing Liena up. She pays and puts them in the tote bag at her side before she takes Sujia’s hand. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah!” Sujia says. “See you tomorrow! Bye, Grandma!”

“Bye, sweetheart,” Jinghua laughs. Liena and Sujia walk away and Jinghua laughs again. “She completely ignored me for you.”

“Sorry,” Junhui says, cringing. He didn’t mean to—

“It’s alright,” Jinghua soothes. “I know Minghao really wanted you two to get along, so I’m happy to see it. It means a lot to him, you know.”

“Does it?”

“You mean a lot to him, so of course it does,” Jinghua says, as if she’s not shoving a knife into his stomach. “You know, you’ve been acting strangely since Minghao came home.”

“Have I been?” Junhui asks nervously. “I don’t think so.”

“You have been,” Jinghua says, staring him down. “You’re so jumpy.”

“Just a change to my routine,” Junhui tries. “You know how stuck I am in my ways. They’re changing things up for me.”

Jinghua hums. “If you say so. You know you can talk to me about things, right? I don’t have to tell Minghao everything.”

“I wouldn’t want you to keep something from him.”

“So there is something!”

“I never said that,” Junhui says quickly. Jinghua stares at him. “I don’t want to talk to you about it. I’m sorry.”

Jinghua pats his shoulder. “That’s alright, sweetheart. As long as you’re talking to someone.”

“I am,” Junhui assures. “Thank you though.”

Jinghua hums and sits back in her chair to shit talk her neighbor.

When Junhui gets to the restaurant the next day, Liena, Minghao, and Sujia are already there and waiting for him. Liena and Sujia are on one side of the booth, leaving the spot next to Minghao and across from Liena open. Junhui takes it gratefully, because he isn’t sure he could handle Liena and Minghao sitting next to each other.

They’re a gorgeous family. Junhui is going to drop off the face of the earth one of these days. One of those thoughts is going to push him over the edge.

“Jun!” Sujia says. “You’re late.”

“By two minutes, Sujia,” Junhui laughs. “But I’m very sorry I’m late, little miss.”

“Good,” Sujia says. “Daddy says being on time is being late. I don’t think that makes a lot of sense, but he says it.”

Minghao reaches out and pinches Sujia’s cheek lightly across the table. “Bratty girl. Do you know what you want to eat?”

“Pizza.”

“Well, yes,” Minghao laughs. Liena pulls a menu down to read the kid’s menu to Sujia and Minghao turns to Junhui. “Hey. How was your day?”

“Same old, same old,” Junhui says. “The tomatoes are going insane. Business as usual. You?”

Minghao smiles. “It was the first day I’ve been in my classroom, so Sujia and I were setting up all day. It’s sad in there without any decoration.”

“I remember,” Junhui laughs. “Why did our art teacher never decorate? That’s so weird.”

“Great question,” Minghao says. “I’m determined to be the fun teacher though, so I have to decorate. Sujia was having the time of her life.”

“I got to use the stapler!” Sujia says. 

“Oh, did you?” Liena asks, eyeing Minghao suspiciously.

“With much supervision,” Minghao laughs. “No little fingers got stapled.”

“And I didn’t get to use the big stapler.”

“Absolutely not,” Minghao says. “All good, Li.”

Oh. He calls her “Li” now. Junhui doesn’t let his smile drop, but it pulls at him. 

“Sure, sure,” Liena says. “As long as little fingers are safe. You’ll have to show me your classroom.”

“You both should come see before school starts,” Minghao says. “Jun, I could actually use your help with hanging a few things.”

“Am I not enough for you?” Liena asks with a laugh.

“You’re weak and short,” Minghao teases.

“I’m literally three inches shorter than you.”

“And he’s three inches taller,” Minghao insists. He sets his hand on Junhui’s shoulder. “And look how strong he is. Much more useful.”

“Farm boy over here,” Liena scoffs. Junhui kicks her ankle under the table. “Hey!”

“Your farm boy over here grew those tomatoes you enjoyed,” Junhui says. “And will happily help Minghao with his classroom, unlike our city girl.”

And there it is. It’s easy to settle back into it with Minghao and Liena and be like they were in college. He spent more time with Minghao by far, but Liena was around often enough that they had a shared rhythm. It’s easy to fall back into that. He doesn’t know how that makes him feel. He doesn’t know at all, when he knows that Liena and Minghao were together. 

He decides to ignore it for now. He has to if he’s going to keep his sanity in check during this dinner.

They make plans to help in Minghao’s classroom when Sujia is with her grandmother on Saturday and switch to talking about Liena’s day, then what Liena’s been up to in the last few years.

“And my girlfriend worked down the street from me, but we’re trying out long distance for now,” Liena says. Junhui knows it’s dramatic that he drops his fork, but he can’t really help it.

“Girlfriend?” Junhui asks.

“Allie!” Sujia says. “Mommy’s girlfriend.”

Liena is giving him a suspicious look. “Surely lesbians aren’t where you draw the line when you’re out.”

“No, I—” Junhui doesn’t know how to explain himself. “I’m just surprised, all things considered.”

“Liena came out years ago,” Minghao murmurs to Junhui. “You missed a few chapters.”

“I definitely did,” Junhui laughs stiffly. Everything he thought about Minghao and Liena just got flipped on its head and he doesn’t know what to do with that. Liena is still giving him a wary look. “That’s great, Liena. Is she going to come visit?”

“She comes in a few weeks,” Liena says, less tense now. “You’d like her. She’s great. Sujia loves her too.”

“Yeah,” Sujia says. “Allie’s so cool. She plays guitar.”

“She’s a studio musician,” Liena explains. “She’s much cooler than the three of us are.”

“Studio musician trumps art teacher, for sure,” Minghao laughs. “She’s great. You really would like her, Junhui. We’ll have to meet up when she’s here.”

“I’d love that,” Junhui says genuinely. Liena smiles before she slides out of the booth with Sujia to take her to the bathroom. 

“You didn’t know?” Minghao asks when they’re gone.

“No,” Junhui says. “I didn’t know why you guys broke up.”

Minghao laughs, free and happy like this doesn’t bother him at all. “We broke up because of that and because we shouldn’t have been together even if she did like men. We only stayed together because she got pregnant a month in. I found out later that we were both trying to figure out how to end it amicably when she realized she was pregnant.”

“Oh.”

“You seem weirded out by that.”

“Just surprised,” Junhui says. “I always thought it was like… I don’t know. I didn’t know what to think when I heard about it.”

Minghao hums. “That’s fair. I’m sure you only heard from my mom, and she didn’t know that last bit. It was awkward to tell anyone that when we were still together and we really did try. We’ve just always been better as friends, and then she came out on top of that.”

“Yeah, that’ll do it, I guess,” Junhui says. “It’s just not what I thought happened, I guess. It was none of my business anyway.”

“It’s your business now,” Minghao says. Is it? That’s interesting. “We’re all friends and it’s not something we hide.”

Junhui nods. “I don’t have anything nearly as interesting to share.”

Minghao laughs. “I think we’ll be alright with what you have to offer.”

Liena and Sujia come back and they get the check. Minghao insists on paying for everything and Liena and Junhui argue until Minghao finally just hands his card to their waiter and it’s good. It’s normal, somehow. It feels natural. Junhui always liked Liena, always liked their little group. He’s glad he can get that back, particularly with certain recent revelations.

Don’t get him wrong. He’s still so jealous of Liena that he wants to throw himself into the sun, but this soothes things the tiniest bit.

Sujia holds Junhui’s hand while they walk around the square to find ice cream at her request and she giggles when Minghao takes her other hand so they can swing her in between them. When they get to the ice cream place, Liena shows them a photo she took of the three of them and Minghao’s grin is so wide when he says “send me that.”

Junhui finds himself wiping Sujia’s face off for her when she smears chocolate ice cream on it and can’t tell where she got it. Minghao smiles softly at them as Sujia wipes ice cream off of Junhui’s face and it’s a symbiotic relationship, him and Sujia. 

He lets himself think, for the briefest moment, that this is what it could be like. If he and Minghao were together, he could have this all the time, could have Sujia and Liena and Minghao smiling softly at them. 

That thought doesn’t go very far. He pulls himself out of his little daydream and reminds himself that Minghao would have to feel the same way about him. If he hasn’t in the last 16 years, he probably won’t now. Best to not get his hopes up. 

He says goodbye to them when they’re back on the square and he’s pleasantly surprised when Liena hugs him. 

“It’s really good to see you again,” Liena says quietly.

“You too,” Junhui says. “I’ll see you Saturday?”

Liena pulls back and smiles at him. “Saturday. Bye, Junhui.”

They all say their goodbyes and Junhui feels eyes on him as he leaves, but he couldn’t possibly place who it is. He looks back to find out.

Minghao. He smiles when he sees Junhui looking and Junhui smiles back.

Junhui has a lot of regrets. For a long time, one of his biggest regrets was introducing Liena to Minghao. It might still be one of his biggest regrets. He really can’t tell.

He just knows that Liena and Minghao immediately hit it off and she folded in with Junhui and Minghao easily, tagging along to the cafeteria for lunch or, later on, at their apartment. At that point, Liena and Minghao were closer than Liena and Junhui were, but Junhui never minded. He was always Minghao’s number one pick and Minghao made that clear, so he never minded that Liena was in second.

He remembers when Jinghua first told him about Liena and Minghao. He remembers feeling everything crash down around him when Jinghua said, “Do you remember Liena? She’s pregnant. She and Minghao are having a baby.”

He remembers feeling everything crash down around him. The world shifted just the slightest bit to the left and everything came down and Junhui has never been the same.

On Saturday, Minghao meets Junhui and Liena outside of the elementary school at 2, both of them ready to help decorate. Minghao is wearing a pair of overalls and he’s so cute, Junhui could honestly cry about it.

Liena pinches Minghao’s cheek as she walks by him. “Overalls are cute.”

Minghao laughs and Junhui can’t help himself from pinching Minghao’s cheek when he gets closer too. Minghao’s smile somehow grows.

Minghao leads them down the hallway and into his classroom and it’s definitely half-decorated, but it’s already nice.

“I could only get so much done with Sujia here,” Minghao says. “I’ve been lesson planning otherwise. I’m really grateful that you guys are here to save my ass.”

“Can you say ‘ass’ in an elementary school?” Junhui asks.

“Ask the fifth graders.”

“Great point,” Junhui laughs. “Alright, tell me what you need lifted.”

They make relatively quick work of decorating the room between the three of them, though they keep getting thrown off when one of them makes a joke. It’s shockingly good. Junhui is shockingly comfortable. He doesn’t fully know what to make of that. He doesn’t really know what to make of his life since Minghao moved back.

He thinks he likes it.

He thinks he likes being able to joke around with the two of them again, being able to hip-check Minghao when he walks by him, being able to laugh when Liena punches him on the shoulder for a particularly stupid pick up line that he uses on her. 

When they’re done and Minghao’s classroom has been sufficiently decorated, Minghao insists on buying drinks and they go to one of the bars downtown, crowded around a table. Three gay people walk into a bar. They’re a walking punchline, particularly when you factor in the child that exists between two of them.

It should hurt more that they’re going through memories from college while they drink, but Liena talks about walking in on her roommate and having to sleep on Minghao and Junhui’s couch and Minghao talks about how he and Junhui chose their college and it doesn’t hurt so sharply. It aches, soft and warm, almost familiar.

It is familiar, after all. Pining after Minghao is deeply, deeply familiar.

Minghao smiles at Junhui from across the table and Junhui smiles back.

Junhui is two drinks deep when he remembers that he doesn’t really drink. He registers that he’s a little more than tipsy when they all stand up to go and he nearly stumbles.

“I’m a lightweight now,” he mutters to Minghao when Minghao catches him. “That’s embarrassing.”

Minghao laughs. “I think one of us needs to take you home. Liena, will you drive Junhui’s car home with him and I’ll meet you there to drive you back to your car?”

“So complicated,” Junhui says, and he laughs when Liena reaches up to pinch his cheek.

“Yeah, come on, Junnie,” Liena says. She puts out her arm for Junhui and he has half a foot on her, but she steadies him well. He gives her his car keys and gets into the passenger seat of his car, Minghao following behind them. 

He lolls his head to the side when Liena starts driving. “You’re so pretty.”

“Are you hitting on me?” Liena asks with a laugh. “I don’t think I’m your type, Junhui.”

“You’re not, but you’re Minghao’s,” Junhui sighs. “Can I tell you something?”

“Of course you can.”

Junhui closes his eyes. “I’m in love with him.”

Liena sucks in a breath. “For how long?”

“Since I was 16.”

Junhui opens his eyes and there are tears in Liena’s. She’s gripping the steering wheel hard.

“I’m so sorry,” Liena says softly. “I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have— I wouldn’t have dated him if I’d known.”

“It isn’t your fault,” Junhui says quickly. “You didn’t know. You didn’t do anything to me.”

They’re at a stoplight and Liena looks over at him. Junhui reaches out and wipes under her eyes before the light turns green.

“Okay,” Liena says. “I’ll try to believe you.”

“I just wanted to tell you,” Junhui says. “I love him so much.”

“You should tell him.”

Junhui is wide awake and aware now. “I can’t.”

Liena sighs. “You should tell him. You both deserve it.”

“No,” Junhui says. “I’m not going to tell him. Please don’t tell him.”

“I’d never,” Liena says. “I promise. Your secret’s safe with me. He’s never going to know if you don’t want him to.”

“Okay,” Junhui sighs. “Thank you.”

Liena pulls into his driveway and she turns the car off before she turns to Junhui. She cradles his face between her hands. “You deserve to have a love like his. Just think about it.”

Junhui hesitates. “I’ll think about it,” he finally says. Liena’s hands drop as Minghao pulls into the driveway behind them. “We should get out of the car. Thank you for driving me home.”

“Yeah, of course,” Liena says. “I’ll see you later.”

They both get out of the car and Minghao leans out of his car to say goodbye. They watch and make sure he gets inside before Liena gets in the passenger seat and Minghao backs out of the driveway.

The next time Junhui sees Minghao, they’re trying out the chickens with Sujia again right before Sujia starts school. They have dinner first and Sujia is busy telling Junhui about getting to meet her kindergarten teacher and how Minghao showed her around the whole school so she would know where everything is.

“And I know how to find Daddy’s classroom,” Sujia says. “Which is where I’m supposed to go after school ends and Mommy will pick me up from there sometimes.”

“That’s so fun,” Junhui says with a smile. “You’ll get to see your dad so much.”

“Even when it’s not his week,” Sujia says.

“Even when,” Junhui says. “That’s really special, Sujia. You’re going to have so much fun in kindergarten.”

“I’m a little scared though,” Sujia says after a moment. “I have to make new friends.”

“You’re going to be great at it, little bee,” Minghao says. “You made so many friends in pre-school and you’ll make so many friends in kindergarten.”

“Are you sure?” Sujia asks quietly.

“Positive,” Minghao says.

“You’re great at making friends, Sujia,” Junhui says. “You made friends with me so easily.”

“Yeah, but you’re Mommy and Daddy’s friend.”

“I’m your friend first,” Junhui says earnestly. It makes Sujia giggle and he thinks that’s worth it. “Really though, you’re going to be amazing. I just know it.”

“Thank you, Jun,” Sujia says with a smile. “Can we go see the chickens now? I want to try again.”

“As long as you promise to color with me after we feed them.”

“Okay!” Sujia says before she’s racing to put her shoes back on. When Junhui gets to the door and gets his shoes on, she puts out a hand for him. “You have to hold my hand though.”

“Of course, of course,” Junhui says as he takes her hand. He leads her to the barn to get the chicken feed and, like last time, they linger outside the gate. “Are you ready?”

Sujia takes a deep breath and looks back at Minghao, who nods encouragingly. “Okay.”

Junhui opens the gate and spreads out the feed quickly so the chickens are distracted from Sujia. They come closer, clearly interested, before they focus on the food and Sujia giggles.

“They’re so hungry,” she says. She’s squeezing Junhui’s hand, still hesitant, but he doesn’t need to pick her up this time. “They’re kind of silly looking.”

“They are,” Junhui laughs. “I just have girl chickens, so they’re nicer.”

“Daddy said they’re called ‘hems.’”

Junhui laughs again. “Hens, pumpkin.”

“Oh,” Sujia says. “Yeah. Those. Do I pet them?”

“Maybe once they’re done eating, I’ll pick one up for you,” Junhui says. “Let’s go color and we can try petting one when you’re about to go home.”

“Okay!” Sujia says. She starts to pull Junhui back to the barn to put the chicken feed away before tugging him toward the house. She very carefully puts her shoes on the rack by the door before she goes to her backpack in the living room. She pulls out paper and a big box of crayons—the one with the sharpener in the back, impressive—and sits at the coffee table, waiting for Junhui to sit on the ground next to her. Minghao takes up a position on the couch, watching them.

“The easiest thing to draw is the sky,” Sujia says. “Here, watch this.”

Junhui lets Sujia demonstrate before she guides him through drawing the sun and clouds, making the outlines dark before coloring in lightly. It’s a good contrast, Junhui will admit. She’s got an eye for it. They move on to animals and Sujia teaches him how to draw a chicken and he’s much worse at it than she is, but he tries his best. Minghao joins in at some point and outdoes both of them, but Sujia doesn’t seem to mind at all.

“Daddy’s really good at art,” Sujia tells Junhui like it’s a secret. Junhui is well-aware—Minghao used to sketch drawings of him when they were in high school and college and Junhui watched them get better and better until Junhui was sitting for portraits for Minghao. “He paints.”

“Did he tell you that he’s painted me before?” Junhui asks. He winks at Minghao when Minghao looks up, red on his cheeks. 

Sujia gasps. “No. That’s so cool. Daddy’s painted me too. Now we both have paintings!”

“You’ll have to show me yours.”

“You have to come over to our house,” Sujia says. “It’s way bigger than our old apartment. And we have a cat. She’s really cute.”

“You have a cat?” Junhui asks. “You never said! Sujia, how could you keep this from me? Cats are my favorite.”

“Not chickens?”

“Not chickens,” Junhui laughs. “I’ll have to come meet your cat. What’s her name?”

“Shrimp,” Sujia says with a smile. “I got to name her.”

“Great choice.”

“Thank you,” Sujia says primly. “Do you want to draw a cat? I’ll show you.”

So Sujia shows him how to draw a cat and he smiles the whole time it’s happening. She’s really quite a good artist for a five-and-a-half-year-old. Junhui is always endlessly impressed with her.

She yawns and Minghao perks up. “Ready to go, little bee?”

“We have to pet a chicken first,” Sujia insists. “Come on, Jun. You have to pick up a chicken.”

Junhui laughs. “Yes ma’am. To the chickens.”

Minghao helps Sujia get ready to go before they go outside and Junhui catches one of the chickens, bringing it back toward Sujia. She looks like she’s putting a brave face on.

“She won’t hurt you,” Junhui says softly. “You can pet her feathers. This one is named Honey.”

“Hi, Honey,” Sujia says softly. She very tentatively reaches out and pets the chicken, a light and gentle touch. “You’re a very good girl.”

Junhui smiles and he sets Honey down, letting her run back toward the others. “Good job, pumpkin. You did so well.”

“Thank you for picking her up,” Sujia says. “Goodnight!”

“Goodnight, Junhui,” Minghao says as he comes to take Sujia’s hand and lead her to the car. “Sleep well.”

“You too,” Junhui says. “Goodnight, Sujia.”

Sujia waves before she gets in the car and Junhui turns to go back inside with a too-wide smile on his face. Sujia left her drawings and he pins them on his fridge with a magnet before he goes to bed.

Wonwoo is incessant about meeting Minghao, so Junhui finally sets up a time to go out for coffee. He’s not making the mistake of drinking again. School has started, so they plan it for a Saturday that Liena has Sujia. Junhui gets there first to make sure there’s never an awkward silence, getting all of their drinks and waiting patiently.

Minghao shows up first and he smiles when he sees Junhui, settling in the chair next to him. “Hi, Jun.”

“Hi, Hao,” Junhui says with an answering smile. He slides Minghao’s drink over to him and Minghao takes it with a “thank you.” “So Wonwoo might be a little intense.”

“Why?”

“He’s very protective of me,” Junhui says carefully. “He knows it was hard for me when we stopped talking.”

“Oh.”

Junhui doesn’t know what possesses him to set his hand on Minghao’s thigh, but it’s low enough to excuse it as comfort. “It’s alright. We’re okay. He’s just Wonwoo. He’ll like you anyway, because you’re very likable.”

Junhui’s hand is still on Minghao’s thigh. Minghao sets his hand on top of Junhui’s and squeezes.

“Okay. I’ll believe you,” Minghao says quietly. He moves his hand and Junhui follows that cue and internally promises to keep his hands to himself. “I’m excited to meet him anyway.”

Wonwoo walks in before Junhui can embarrass himself any further and he takes the seat across from Minghao with a smile. “Hi. It’s really nice to meet you, Minghao. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Minghao grimaces. “That’s unfortunate.”

Wonwoo laughs. “It’s mostly good, don’t worry. Junhui said you’re an art teacher?”

“Yeah,” Minghao says with a small smile. “Elementary right now, but high school before. I took the elementary position to be closer to my daughter.”

“Ah, yeah, I’ve heard about her thing with the chickens.”

Minghao laughs and pulls out his phone. “Do you want to see the cutest photo in the world? It’s Junhui holding a chicken for Sujia to pet.”

“Please show it to me,” Wonwoo says, leaning forward across the table. Junhui leans forward too, because he wasn’t aware of this photo. It’s awfully cute, the smile on Sujia’s face mirrored on Junhui’s, and Junhui’s heart does an interesting thing in his chest at the fact that Minghao took the photo in the first place. “Oh, they’re adorable.”

“This is them coloring,” Minghao says, swiping a few photos over. Junhui never noticed him taking them. Minghao pulls his phone back and sets it on the table and Junhui realizes with a start that his phone lock screen is the photo Liena took of them with Sujia in between them. He doesn’t know what to make of that. He doesn’t know what to make of that at all.

He decides he can write it off pretty easily—it’s a photo of a man and his daughter and his good friend. People have photos with their friends as their lock screens all the time. This is fine.

He lets Wonwoo and Minghao get to know each other, sitting back and watching as Wonwoo is visibly swayed away from disliking Minghao. It’s easy—Minghao is so likable. Junhui isn’t surprised at all, and he’s half-glad that Wonwoo is going to understand why Junhui can’t stay away and half-miserable at the fact that his last line of defense has fallen. Wonwoo was the only voice in his ear that was telling him not to fall completely head over heels for Minghao again.

Junhui has nothing left holding him back and that’s so, so dangerous. 

He watches as Minghao gets along naturally with his best friend and as two of the three most important people in his life bond over stupid shit Junhui has done.

The third of his most important people is definitely Sujia. Junhui doesn’t read into that. He doesn’t think he can without passing away.

Minghao has to go after two hours, something about meeting Jinghua, and Wonwoo hangs back after Minghao is gone with his soft goodbyes and promises to hang out later.

“So?” Junhui asks.

“He’s great,” Wonwoo says with a smile. “I see why you’re in love with him. I get it.”

“Hey now,” Junhui says. “Only one of us can be hopelessly in love with him.”

“Maybe I wouldn’t be hopeless.”

“Get fucked.”

Wonwoo laughs. “Seriously though, I think you might be right.”

“About what?”

“About things changing,” Wonwoo says. He drops his voice down to a dramatic whisper. “I think he likes you.”

“What?” Junhui asks, a little shrill.

Wonwoo rolls his eyes. “You seriously don’t see the way he looks at you? It’s like you hung the fucking moon. He totally likes you.”

“No way.”

Minghao doesn’t like him. Right? That’s so far out of the realm of possibility, but Wonwoo wouldn’t string him on like this. He knows it would hurt too much. He wouldn’t do that to Junhui.

“Unless he’s like that with all of his friends, which I doubt, he likes you.”

Junhui sighs and puts his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do with that.”

“I think you do know, actually.”

“Yeah. I think I do.”

Minghao and Junhui text. It’s usually just a little thing a few times a week, a check-in of sorts, where they exchange pictures of Sujia and the farm and talk about their days. It isn’t a big deal. He swears.

It’s kind of a big deal. It’s fine.

It’s a bigger deal when Minghao says something like he just did.

Minghao: Sujia’s apparently kind of struggling with making friends 

Minghao: And Liena and Allie are long distance and I know that’s hard

Minghao: It was my idea to move and I think that maybe I should have let Sujia stay in the city with Liena

Junhui doesn’t quite know what to do, but he finds himself hitting “call” before he thinks it through. It’s Liena’s week with Sujia and Junhui knows Minghao being alone isn’t helping.

“Hi, Jun,” Minghao says softly when he picks up. Junhui knows him well enough to know what he sounds like on the verge of tears and he’s definitely there.

“Hi, Hao,” Junhui says just as softly. “Do you want to talk about all of that?”

“I just—” Minghao sighs heavily. “I was the one who couldn’t make it in the city anymore. Liena and Sujia were both fine. I should have just let them stay there.”

“You’re talking like you forced Liena’s hand.”

“Didn’t I?” Minghao asks. “I was pathetic when I suggested it and she knew it. I had one friend, I got shifted into a job I hated, and I wanted to run home about it.”

“You wanted a change, Hao, and no one can blame you for that.”

“Sujia can, considering she lost all of her friends over it.”

Junhui sighs. “She’s five. The vast majority of people don’t remember who they were friends with at five.”

“We did.”

“We’re outliers,” Junhui says. “She was going to have to make new friends in kindergarten anyway. It’s only September. She has plenty of time to find kids she clicks with.”

“Sure, say that’s the case,” Minghao says. “I still made Liena and Allie do long-distance.”

“Liena’s a grown woman,” Junhui says. “She could have said no. Hao, I know you’re feeling down on yourself and that’s fair, but Liena chose this as much as you did. You and I both know she makes it very clear when she doesn’t want to do something, especially if it’s as big as moving away from her girlfriend.”

Minghao doesn’t say anything.

Junhui sighs. “You mean the world to both of those girls. They would never want to be somewhere that you’re not. Liena obviously wanted to move here or she wouldn’t have done it. Sujia would cry forever if she didn’t see you as much as she does. They both wouldn’t want you to be as unhappy as you must have been in the city.”

“I was miserable,” Minghao says quietly. Junhui can hear the tears in his voice. “I missed home and I missed my mom and I missed you and it was all terrible.”

Junhui tries not to get too caught up in “I missed you.” Now isn’t the time.

“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re home,” Junhui says softly. “I hope things are better now.”

“They are,” Minghao sighs. “I just worry about Sujia and I worry about Liena, even if I know they’re both happy to be here. Sujia loves being closer to my mom and she loves you, but I want her to have friends her age.”

“And she’ll make them,” Junhui says. “It’s still early.”

“And Liena?”

“Liena’s an adult,” Junhui says. “It’s her relationship, not yours. You know she would hate if you were hurting over this.”

Minghao sighs. “I know. I should just talk to her about this, shouldn’t I?”

“You should.”

“I’ll talk to her about it soon,” Minghao says. “Can you tell me about your day?”

Junhui tells Minghao about the crops, the chickens, having dinner with his mom, and it evolves into talking about when Junhui and Minghao used to run around the farm together as kids, chasing each other until Minghao inevitably wore out. 

“You’ve never quite had the stamina,” Junhui laughs.

“I’ll have you know that I have plenty of stamina,” Minghao says. “I get it done.”

Junhui laughs so hard he nearly snorts. “Is that a sex joke? Are we 15?”

He can’t let himself think about sex with Minghao. He’s spent too long with thoughts of it swirling his brain, thoughts of glimpses of skin and one very memorable overheard masturbation session in college.

“Maybe 17 or 18,” Minghao laughs. Right. They were having a conversation. 

“Sure, sure,” Junhui says. “Are you feeling better?”

“Much better, yeah,” Minghao says. “Thank you, Jun.”

“You know you can always call.”

“Yeah. I know.”

Junhui smiles and he hopes Minghao can hear it in his voice. “Go to bed, Minghao. Goodnight. Sleep well.”

“Goodnight, Junhui. Sleep well.”

Minghao hangs up and Junhui puts himself to bed quickly. He doesn’t need all of his thoughts of Minghao to get too tangled in his head.

They call frequently after that, just to talk. They see each other at the Farmers Market on Sundays and they call every two days or so. It’s almost like old times. It’s also brand new. Junhui doesn’t know which side of that he prefers.

Still, they always call at night. It’s why he’s more than a little surprised when Minghao’s name pops up on his phone screen at 1 PM on a Wednesday in late October.

“Hey, Minghao, what’s up?” Junhui asks when he picks up the phone.

Minghao sounds a little frantic when he says, “I have a favor to ask you.”

“Yeah, of course. Whatever you need.” 

Maybe a little much.

“Liena’s out of town and my mom’s busy and I just got called into some training this afternoon,” Minghao says. “Could you maybe pick Sujia up after school and take her back to my house? I know I’m asking a lot, but—”

“Minghao,” Junhui laughs. “Of course I’ll pick her up. You’re not asking a lot. How long will your training be? Do we need to figure out dinner?”

Minghao sighs in relief. The sound makes Junhui laugh again. “No, I’ll be home by 5:30. Could you come get her at 3?”

“Can do,” Junhui says. “I’ll meet you out front?”

“Yeah, thank you so much,” Minghao says. “I owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me anything,” Junhui says. He’s always giving away too much. “I’m happy to do it. You know I love her.”

“I know, I just feel terrible for springing this on you.”

“You’re my best friend, Minghao,” Junhui says, and he’s shocked at how true that is again. “Of course I’m going to help you when things like this come up, especially if I get to hang out with my favorite person.”

“Tell Sujia you said that, she’ll love it,” Minghao laughs. “Thank you. I’ll see you at 3.”

Junhui says a quick “see you!” before he hangs up. Time to make himself presentable instead of wearing his farming overalls.

At 3, Junhui meets Minghao and Sujia outside the elementary school. When Sujia sees Junhui walking up, she runs at him and flings herself at him. He laughs and picks her up, swinging her around before setting her down and taking her hand.

“Hi, pumpkin,” Junhui says with a smile. “You ready to go home?”

“Yeah!” Sujia says. “You get to meet Shrimp. I’m so excited.”

“I am too,” Junhui says. He walks her back over to Minghao and Minghao smiles at them. “Anything in particular I should know?”

Minghao hands his key to Junhui. “Snacks are in the fridge. I’ll bring dinner home if you’d like to stay.”

“Sounds great,” Junhui says. “Sujia and I will miss you terribly. We’ll remember you fondly.”

Minghao laughs. “I’ll be home in a few hours, you brats. Go have so much fun without me.”

“We will,” Junhui says. He blows a kiss to Minghao as he and Sujia walk away and it makes Minghao laugh harder. Minghao lives close enough to the elementary school that they walk home, Junhui’s car already at Minghao’s, and Sujia swings their hands between them. “What’d you do today, pumpkin?”

Sujia launches into a detailed play-by-play of her day at school, starting with waking up, and Junhui listens intently. She’s only at recess when they get to Minghao’s and Junhui lets them in, stopping to help Sujia unpack her things before he lets her keep talking. He goes to the kitchen and sets out a snack for Sujia, laughing when she pushes it toward him to share.

“You too,” Sujia says, stopping mid-sentence. “Daddy said we need snacks to grow. You’re pretty tall already though.”

“Just a bit,” Junhui laughs. “You’re little though, so you eat more.”

Sujia hums. “That works. Anyway, so we went to music class.”

Sujia keeps going until she gets to when Junhui picked her up and Junhui stays tuned in, fascinated by how this little person perceives the world. She really is one of Junhui’s favorite people, as small as she is. She smiles brilliantly at Junhui when she says “and then you came and that’s so fun.”

“It’s very fun,” Junhui laughs. “Are you done with your snack? Do you want to show me around?”

Sujia hops down from her chair and goes to put her snack container away before she puts her hand out for Junhui to take. “Follow me!”

She does an in-depth tour of the house, pausing in her room to show Junhui her favorite stuffed animals, before they find Shrimp sleeping on Minghao’s bed.

“I think Shrimp likes Daddy more than me,” Sujia says, but it doesn’t sound like it bothers her. She climbs onto Minghao’s bed and picks Shrimp up, holding her out to Junhui. “You can hold her. She’s very nice.”

Junhui takes Shrimp and holds her in his arms and she’s an incredibly docile cat, because she settles into him immediately. “Hi, Shrimp. You’re very sweet.”

“She’s so nice,” Sujia says. “I like her so much. She’s my best friend except for you.”

“You’re one of my best friends too,” Junhui says instead of crying. He’s her best friend. He loves her so much it hurts. “You and your dad.”

“Daddy likes you so much,” Sujia says. “He talks about you to Mommy all the time. He said he loves you lots.”

“Oh, does he?” Junhui asks, but his stomach is swirling. He can’t exactly pry what Minghao said out of Sujia, but—

“Yeah, he told Mommy,” Sujia says. “Do you want to color?”

“Sure thing,” Junhui says, setting Shrimp down. He can’t think about what Sujia said right now. It’ll send him off the deep end and he has a child to take care of.

They settle at the dining table to color and it’s quiet for a little bit, only interrupted by Sujia showing Junhui her drawings, and Junhui tries to white out his thoughts. He can’t think about Minghao potentially loving him. He can’t.

Sujia tires of coloring at some point and they flip on a movie in the living room. Junhui has to try not to tear up when Sujia curls into him and he wraps his arm around her to let her get more comfortable. She makes little comments during the movie, enough to keep Junhui from spiraling out in front of her. It’s for the best. It’s not really the thing Junhui should be doing in front of a five-year-old. 

Minghao comes in at 5:45 with a bag of takeout and he comes into the living room to drop a kiss on Sujia’s head. Sujia looks up with a smile, but she doesn’t move away from Junhui and Minghao laughs.

“You two look comfy,” Minghao says. “Dinner in a little bit?”

“Mhm,” Sujia says. “We’re comfy.”

Minghao sets the food in the dining room before he comes back and sits on Sujia’s other side. He runs a hand through her hair as she lays against Junhui and Junhui can imagine it. He lets himself imagine it: coming home to Minghao and Sujia, lazing around with them, eating dinner and putting Sujia to bed together and— Yeah. He can imagine it all. He wants it so badly his teeth ache with it.

Minghao looks over at Junhui and smiles and Junhui wants to kiss him. He smiles back instead.

When the movie ends, they all move to eat dinner and Minghao and Junhui both recap their days before Sujia tells Minghao what she and Junhui did while he was gone.

“And it was so fun,” Sujia sighs. “I wish Jun was here all the time.”

“We’ll try to get him over more often, hm?” Minghao asks. “Does that work for you, little bee?”

Sujia nods. “Mhm! Can we read my book?”

“Yeah, I’ll read,” Minghao says, gathering their plates up.

“Jun too?” Sujia asks, looking at Junhui with pleading eyes. “Will you stay?”

Junhui looks over at Minghao and Minghao nods, so he smiles at Sujia. “Yeah, I will. You’re going to have to tell me what’s going on in the book though.”

“Okay!” Sujia says. She takes Junhui’s hand and pulls him to her room, explaining what’s going on in the chapter book they’re reading right now. She gets the book and brings it back out to the living room, settling back on the couch and patting the spot next to her. Minghao finishes in the kitchen and sits on Sujia’s other side, opening the book to read. 

Junhui leans his head on Sujia’s and lets Minghao’s voice lull him into half-awareness, content to stay here with the two of them. He only perks back up when Sujia yawns.

“Bathtime for little bees,” Minghao says, closing the book. “Then bed. Say goodnight to Jun, Sujia.”

Sujia moves to hug Junhui and Junhui hugs her back and ruffles her hair. “Goodnight, pumpkin.”

“Goodnight, Jun,” Sujia says into his shoulder. “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll be back,” Junhui laughs. Sujia pulls away and smiles and Junhui smiles back.

“Will you go start the bath, please?” Minghao asks Sujia. “I’ll be right there.” Sujia runs off and Minghao lowers his voice to talk to Junhui. “Will you stay? I have wine in the kitchen.”

“Yeah, of course,” Junhui says. He goes to the kitchen while Minghao goes to get Sujia ready for bed and while he’s rifling around for wine glasses, Minghao’s phone vibrates on the counter.

He doesn’t mean to look at it. It’s none of his business. It’s just that Minghao’s lock screen is the photo of Junhui holding the chicken while Sujia pets it. It’s just that Minghao’s lock screen is a photo of Sujia and Junhui.

Junhui hears Minghao shut Sujia’s door before he comes into the kitchen and smiles at Junhui. He’s so beautiful.

Junhui throws caution and any sense he has to the wind and moves quickly, walking up to Minghao and fisting a hand in his shirt to pull him into a kiss.

It takes a beat for Minghao to respond, but he kisses back eagerly, his hand sliding into Junhui’s hair. Junhui lets go of Minghao’s shirt and drops both hands to his hips, holding him close. It’s a hard kiss, heavy, and it’s more than Junhui ever dreamed of. It’s 16 years of pining wrapped into his lips on Minghao’s, into Minghao’s fingers scratching at the nape of his neck, into the soft noise that Minghao makes when Junhui licks into his mouth. 

When Junhui pulls back, they’re both breathing heavily and Junhui presses his forehead to Minghao’s.

“You have a photo of me as your lock screen,” Junhui whispers. “I’m in love with you.”

“I love you,” Minghao whispers back. “I’m so in love with you.”

Junhui kisses Minghao again and it’s softer this time, slow and honey sweet. Minghao’s hand moves to cradle Junhui’s jaw and Junhui slips a hand under Minghao’s sweater to rest it on his waist. 

Minghao breaks the kiss and Junhui wants to whine about it until Minghao wraps his arms around Junhui’s neck and hugs him tightly. Junhui kisses the tip of Minghao’s little fairy ear and Minghao buries his face in Junhui’s shoulder. Junhui tangles a hand in Minghao’s hair, the other arm around his waist, and rocks them back and forth gently.

“You know, Sujia told me you loved me,” Junhui says softly. “She ratted you out, said you talked to Liena about me and that you loved me lots.”

“I do love you lots,” Minghao says, muffling it into Junhui’s sweater. “That’s still embarrassing.”

Junhui laughs, keeping it quiet. “Got me to kiss you, so I don’t think you can call it embarrassing. The lock screen though? That’s embarrassing.”

Minghao makes a little noise of protest. “It’s a cute photo.”

“It is,” Junhui laughs. “Still embarrassing. I love you anyway.”

“Despite me being embarrassing?”

“Because you’re soppy and embarrassing and desperately cute,” Junhui says. “You’ll have to send me a photo of you and Sujia so I can make it my lock screen. Then we can match.”

Minghao finally pulls back to look at Junhui and there’s the sweetest smile on his face. “I’ll send you one. We have a lot to talk about, don’t we?”

Junhui groans. “So much. Not when little ears can hear though.”

“Not when little ears can hear,” Minghao agrees. “Sunday?”

“After I get home from the market, yeah,” Junhui says with a smile. “Are we allowed to just make out in your kitchen for now? Because I’d love to make out with you in your kitchen.”

“Yeah, that works,” Minghao laughs. He leans in to kiss Junhui and Junhui loses track of time from there, a little lost in the way Minghao licks into his mouth carefully, in how soft Minghao’s hair is when Junhui buries his hand in it, in the quiet noises Minghao makes. He only tunes back into the real world when Minghao pulls away to yawn.

“It’s a school night, you should sleep,” Junhui says softly. “I’ll see you on Sunday at the market?”

“As always,” Minghao says with a small smile. “I’ll walk you to the door.”

Minghao trails behind Junhui as he goes to the entryway and puts his shoes back on, waiting until he’s put himself together to pull him back into a kiss.

“Goodnight, Minghao,” Junhui whispers when he pulls away.

“Goodnight, Jun,” Minghao whispers back. “I love you.”

Junhui grins. “I love you too. Sleep well.”

Junhui slips out of the door and Minghao closes it softly behind him. He has to fight down his smile on the drive home.

Sujia comes flying at Junhui on Sunday at the Farmers Market.

“Jun!” Sujia yells. Junhui yells her name back and catches her, letting her settle in his lap in his seat behind the stand.

“Hi, pumpkin,” Junhui says. “How was the rest of your week?”

“It was okay,” Sujia says. “I made a new friend.”

“That’s amazing, Sujia,” Junhui says. Minghao walks up as Junhui drops a kiss on the top of Sujia’s head and Minghao’s smile is so wide. “Are they friends with your other new friend?”

“Yeah!” Sujia says. “We’re all friends now. We sit together at lunch.”

“We’re setting up a play date,” Minghao says. “It’s all very exciting.”

Sujia talks about her two new friends while Junhui looks up at Minghao, taking in his hands tucked into his sweater and his little hat. He’s so cute. Junhui wants to kiss him so badly, but soon. He just has to be patient.

He hugs Sujia as she talks and Minghao joins in the conversation, all of them wrapped in each other until someone comes over to Junhui’s stand.

Sujia perks up and looks at the older man. “Are you here to buy vegetables?”

The man smiles at her. “I am, little lady. Will you pick me out the five best carrots?”

Sujia looks at Junhui with wide eyes and Junhui nods before he says, “I’ll help you, come on.” He helps Sujia pick out and bag up the carrots before ringing the man up and Sujia bounces with excitement next to him. 

“I did it!” she says when the man is gone. “I’m going to be a farmer like you.”

“You definitely could be,” Junhui laughs. He picks Sujia up and sets her on his hip to spin her around and Minghao laughs with Sujia. He sets her down in his chair with instructions to count the carrots that they have left and he leans next to Minghao. “Good morning.”

“Good morning, beautiful,” Minghao says softly with a grin. Junhui covers his face with his hands and Minghao laughs. “We’re about to meet Liena for lunch. I’ll meet you at your house after?”

“Sounds good,” Junhui says. “Spare key’s in the planter next to the door if you want to just go over when you’re done. I’ll be home around 3.”

Minghao hums. “I’ll do that. We should get going, just wanted to drop by and say hello first.”

“You have 20 carrots left!” Sujia says. “Are we going?”

“Yeah, little bee,” Minghao says. “Say goodbye to Jun.”

Junhui goes to hug her goodbye and she pulls on his shirt until he leans down so she can press a messy, five-year-old kind of kiss to his cheek. He laughs and kisses the top of her head in return before she goes to take Minghao’s hand. 

“Bye!” Sujia calls as they walk away. “See you later!”

“See you later!” Junhui calls back. He settles back behind his stand and waits for Jinghua.

When he gets home at 3:15, he lets himself in to find Minghao asleep on his couch, his phone on his chest. Junhui takes his shoes off and leaves his things by the door before he goes to sit down next to the couch.

“Minghao,” Junhui says softly, running a hand through Minghao’s hair. “Time to wake up, sweetheart.”

Minghao’s eyes flutter open and he smiles when he focuses on Junhui. “Hi. You’re home.”

Junhui could get used to this. He particularly thinks so when Minghao sits up enough to lean forward and kiss him. He strokes his fingers over Minghao’s cheekbone before he pulls away. 

“Do you want tea?” Junhui asks. “If we’re going to have big conversations.”

“Yes, please,” Minghao says. He sits up with a groan. “We’re too old to fall asleep on couches.”

“I think we’re quite young, thanks,” Junhui laughs. “I’m only 32.”

“Still too old for couch naps,” Minghao says as he follows Junhui into the kitchen. Junhui busies himself making tea and he feels Minghao watching him. “Where do you want to start?”

“Sujia?” Junhui asks. 

Minghao nods. “I guess the question is whether or not you’re ready to be a dad, because that’s what she’s going to think of you as at some point. She kind of seems to already.”

“Yeah, I noticed that,” Junhui says. He slides a cup of tea across the kitchen island to Minghao. “I’ve thought a lot about it and yeah, I am. I’m ready to be her dad specifically. I love her to death.”

“Are you sure?” Minghao asks. “Because this isn’t the kind of thing you can back out of. Even if we break up—and I don’t think we will, but it’s worth mentioning—she’s going to think of you like a dad and I would hate for her to lose that.”

“Even if we break up, I’m going to want to be her dad,” Junhui says softly. “She’s really important to me.”

Minghao smiles. “Alright. I trust you. We should probably talk about the eight years of silence thing.”

“What happened?” Junhui asks desperately. “We had that phone conversation and then you were just gone.”

Minghao stares at his tea. “I was in love with you. I thought you telling me to take the job was you not wanting me to come home and I was in love with you and it hurt. I needed to get over you.”

It hits Junhui like a knife in his chest. 

“You were in love with me?” Junhui asks weakly. “For how long?”

“Since I was 15.”

Fuck.

“Oh my God,” Junhui whispers, and he can feel tears welling in his eyes. “I was in love with you. I was in love with you that whole time.”

Minghao’s head whips up. “Why would you tell me to stay in the city then?”

“What?”

“You told me to stay in the city,” Minghao says. His face is so threateningly neutral. “You didn’t ask me to come home.”

“Was I supposed to?” Junhui asks.

“If you were in love with me?” Minghao asks. “Yes, absolutely. Something to tell me that you actually wanted me, but you told me to stay in the city. I thought you didn’t want me, even as a friend.”

“I’ve always wanted you,” Junhui says. He can feel himself getting angry with the accusation and he shouldn’t, he really shouldn’t, but maybe he’s been angry about this for a long time. “That job was your dream.”

“You were my dream!” Minghao yells. He takes a deep breath, clearly trying to calm himself down. “You were always more important than a stupid job.”

“You could have told me that! You could have said something too!”

“I was scared,” Minghao says, his voice low. “As soon as I mentioned the job, you were telling me to take it.”

“Because you mentioned it in the first place,” Junhui hisses. “If you wanted to come home, you shouldn’t have brought it up at all. You were testing me and that isn’t fair.”

“Sure, fine, but why did you just stop talking to me when I stayed?” Minghao asks. “You were angry at me when I came back, but you stopped talking to me just like I wasn’t talking to you. You didn’t reach out for eight years but you were angry at me?”

“You had a kid!” Junhui yells. Minghao looks like he’s been slapped. “You had a fucking kid without needing me there because you apparently only needed Liena as soon as I was gone.”

“Oh, so you’re jealous of Liena?”

“Of course I’m jealous,” Junhui hisses. “I was in love with you and you went and had a child with our friend. You moved on and you didn’t need me and Liena was there the whole time.”

“Did you miss the part where she got pregnant a month in?” Minghao asks, rolling his eyes. “Or when I told you I’d been trying to break up with her? It was because I wasn’t over you! She was the first person I tried to date and she knew I was in love with you and wanted to try anyway. She knew I was in love with you the entire time we were together, but I was trying to move on. I tried so fucking hard and that meant staying away from you. Obviously it didn’t work.”

Junhui’s heart drops. “Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.”

“I didn’t realize,” Junhui says softly. “I thought you just— I thought you just didn’t need me.”

Minghao sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Of course I needed you. I thought you didn’t want me. I took a chance on moving back here and just hoped that things might be different if I wasn’t in the city anymore.”

“You—” Junhui cuts himself off.

“Moved back for you?” Minghao asks with a shrug. “In part, yeah. A big part.”

“And Liena knows?”

“Liena’s known the entire time. Since before we got together.”

Junhui doesn’t know what to say to that. He steps toward Minghao and Minghao holds eye contact, clearly waiting to see what Junhui is going to do. 

Junhui kisses him. Junhui kisses him hard and heavy and weighted with years worth of devastation, of wrecked feelings and broken hearts and the kind of love that doesn’t ever end. This doesn’t ever end. 

Minghao slides a hand into Junhui’s hair and Junhui holds him close by the waist, deepening the kiss quickly, the feeling of it tingling down his spine. Minghao licks heat into Junhui’s stomach when he hikes Junhui’s sweater up to slide his hand up Junhui’s chest. Junhui flips them so Minghao’s back is to the kitchen island before he lifts him up with his hands underneath Minghao’s thighs and sets him on the island so Junhui can crowd in between his legs. 

“I love you,” Junhui whispers. He brushes a kiss across Minghao’s jaw, down his neck. “I love you so much.”

Minghao gasps when Junhui nips at the soft skin of his neck. “I love you too. Always have.”

It’s a mess of “I love you” and clothes falling to the floor on the way to the bedroom and skin on skin from there, the first time Junhui has been able to touch like he’s ached over for so long. He lets his hands linger on Minghao, lets himself run his fingers over soft skin until Minghao is nearly trembling underneath him. 

He pulls those noises out of Minghao, the ones he’s been thinking about for years, makes Minghao nearly whine when Junhui moves smoothly inside him, slow and deep and drawn out into something Junhui is burning into his mind. Minghao digs his nails into Junhui’s shoulder, marking him, and Junhui wishes for a fleeting moment that the marks would brand him.

He doesn’t need it. He’s Minghao’s down to his bones, always has been. Minghao has had him since they were small and chasing after each other, through Junhui chasing after Minghao for years, through right now, when Minghao falls apart with Junhui’s name on his lips. Junhui tumbles after Minghao and they cling to each other while their breathing slows, while Minghao pulls Junhui into the softest kiss.

“I love you,” Minghao murmurs against Junhui’s mouth. “You were worth the wait.”

Minghao goes to work dressed in Junhui’s clothes and honestly, the oversized sweater just makes “elementary school art teacher” more convincing. Practicality aside, he looks almost upsettingly cute as he leaves the house and Junhui stops him on his way out the door with his tea that Junhui made him in hand.

“Bye, baby,” Junhui says with a smile. He kisses Minghao quickly. “I love you. Drive safe.”

“I love you too,” Minghao says before he kisses Junhui again. “See you at my house later?”

“Mhm. Have fun today.”

“I always do,” Minghao laughs. He waves before he leaves, shutting the door softly behind him. Junhui is immediately desperate for him to come back, but patience is a virtue. Junhui will see Minghao tonight.

Junhui could get used to this.

They tell Sujia three weeks later. They’re at dinner with Sujia and Liena, who’s there to answer questions, and when their plates are being cleared, Minghao turns to Sujia. 

“Before dessert, Jun and I have something to tell you, little bee,” Minghao says softly. “You know how your mom has a girlfriend?”

Sujia nods. “Yeah. Is Jun your girlfriend?”

Junhui can’t help how loud his laugh is, even as Minghao rolls his eyes at him. “Boyfriend, pumpkin.”

“Oh,” Sujia says before she smiles. “That’s fun. I like that.”

“You’re okay with it?” Minghao asks.

Sujia nods, much more frantically this time. “Yeah! Jun can come live with us if he wants.”

“So generous,” Junhui laughs. “Maybe in a little bit, alright?”

“Okay,” Sujia says. “Dessert now?”

Minghao and Liena laugh while Junhui reads the dessert menu to Sujia and it’s good. It’s really good.

Junhui wakes up on Christmas morning to a seven-year-old in his face. What’s new, really?

“Dad,” Sujia whispers. “Is it time to wake up?”

Minghao groans next to Junhui. “Sujia, is it still five in the morning?”

“No,” Sujia says after a moment. “It’s five thirty.”

Minghao moves quickly, grabbing Sujia from where she’s leaning over Junhui and tugging her into bed between them. 

“Daddy!” Sujia says too loudly. Junhui flinches. “What are you doing?”

“Go to sleep, Sujia,” Minghao murmurs. “Your mom and Allie won’t be here until 7, so we can’t start until then.”

Sujia huffs, but she settles down in Minghao’s arms. Junhui reaches out to run his hand through Sujia’s hair, trying to soothe her further. It’s their second Christmas together, which is enough experience to know that Sujia isn’t going back to sleep, but he can at least get her to rest and let them sleep. 

She gives them another fifteen minutes, max. “Dad, can we go make breakfast?”

“You pick on me because I’m the weak link, don’t you?” Junhui asks. “You know your dad is going to say ‘no’ so you ask me.”

“No,” Sujia says, drawing out the word. She’s absolutely lying. Conniving little girl. 

She’s right though, so he hauls himself out of bed and helps Sujia untangle from Minghao. “Come on, pumpkin. We’ll make breakfast and see if that gets your dad up.”

“It won’t,” Minghao mutters. Junhui just laughs, because he knows it will. He just has to give Minghao a little longer.

Thirty minutes later, Minghao walks into the kitchen bleary-eyed, and he kisses Junhui’s shoulder on his way to the kettle. Junhui already has it heated and Minghao says a soft “thank you” that gives away that he’s definitely not awake yet.

“Daddy,” Sujia says from where she’s sitting on the kitchen island. “We’re making breakfast for you.”

“And how are you helping, little bee?”

“I’m, um,” Sujia stops. “Dad, what’s the word you said?”

“Moral support,” Junhui fills in.

“Yeah, I’m moral support,” Sujia says. 

Minghao laughs and moves to stand next to Junhui at the counter, sipping his tea. Junhui kisses his forehead and moves around him to make breakfast, content to work with Minghao at his side.

They make it through a sleepy breakfast and right on time, Liena and Allie knock on the front door at 7. Minghao follows Sujia as she runs to the door and Junhui watches him greet Liena and Allie with a hug and Junhui knows that this is what the rest of his life looks like: Liena and Allie and Sujia and Minghao. Always Minghao.