Chapter Text
Sinuous, long, eerie rivers of golden red were vivificated from complete nothingness on bow-backed sand dunes as the great scorching disc sluggishly carried on with its rise - another journey to parch every droplet of liquid life out of stone-dust-seas reaching as far as her cooled-down-coal coloured eyes could see. It could’ve been a spectacular sight, were it not for the towering shape of a crippled SandWing inching away from her camp with an oval-round shape secured within his wing joints.
The only ones.
“Halt!” She bellowed, betrayal-born-anger poisoning her words, though nothing seemed to come of it.
She tried to run after him. Her feet felt as though they were permanently stuck in the very ground that was supposed to help her make the distance between the two of them disappear in a heartbeat. Her wings couldn’t lift her small yet sinewy body either. Desperation urged her to do something despite it… anything… shout, scream, writhe until she gets free, claw at the world if that’s what it takes…
“I order you to stop this instant!” Queen Thorn spat into dawn’s first lights, her dark scleras sizzling with hatred .
Then, everything shifted.
Ominous-looking dark clouds of dust speckled with sparkling silver began to gather before her, slowly taking a shape she’d recognise absolutely anywhere . When Stonemover appeared in the place of the peculiar smoke, taking all her agony away. Or did he? It took her a few good minutes to muster up the courage to look up at him, into eyes once filled with care, joy and hope, now lifeless, his demeanour cold and indifferent - the exact opposite of what she’d grown to love him for. It pained her. The mere sight of him pained her.
Now she knew she was dreaming. Stonemover never returned there. He never looked for her. Never changed his mind about creating a family. A life . For all of them.
“Morrowseer told me you’d run away.” Thorn stated in a low voice, thinking there was nothing to lose now - nothing to get hurt by anymore.
“I did.” Came the ghostly answer.
“Because of me. And the egg.”
“No.” He exhaled without any significant uttering, his tone entirely lifeless, monotone, frozen in time, with all his emotions locked inside him - if they didn’t die out by that time like fire in the wind from all those spells his tribe probably forced him to cast “It was never you.”
“Mother?” A familiar voice rang behind her back, the echoes of that one lone word reverberating from the already-burning-hot dunes, flying around them.
It was never you.
Stonemover’s form began to billow before dissipating into the dry, hot air as she turned, expecting to meet her daughter too, and be done with whatever she wanted to squeeze her heart until it ceased beating with - only to have her little golden arms already around her chest, embracing their hug with such warmth that only her real self could ever carry in her precious, pure soul. Her usually cheerful, now trouble-burdened moss-green eyes shone wetly as their gazes found each other while their wings reached out to touch.
“Beetle.” The Queen of the SandWings hummed, cupping her talons in between her pale palms, her soft, endless-love-filled voice caressing Sunny’s ears as though it were only a gentle rivulet running through a lush meadow, dancing around laughing-playing dragonets. “I hope everything’s well?”
“No, not really.” Sunny chirped woefully, tightening her hold and pressing her head against Thorn’s muscle-covered ribcage. “Oh, it’s awful .”
With worry instantly rising in her veins, the Queen lifted one paw over Sunny’s horns, ready to soothe her daughter in case her words would drown in tears. Ready to destroy anything and everything that dared to harm her.
“What is awful, dearest?” She inquired, her tone still akin to a delicate song born from only the purest of vocal cords, lacking the very thing that made beings turn to malice.
“Moon got a letter this morning. She opened it after Qibli left, thinking it was going to be just the usual few rows from her mom, assuring her that everything’s fine but…” She sniffed, struggling to contain her sorrow “Oh, you have to send Qibli back! She’s been brooding and crying all day and, and…” She rubbed her muzzle against her pale-sand-scales, giving them a bittersweet glaze of liquid anguish. “Fatespeaker and I tried everything to console her but we ended up crying with her, at a loss and overwhelmed… Mom, she has an older brother nobody, not even her mom , has known about and he’s dying . And Moon, the kind-hearted little Moon is broken down over a stranger’s suffering.”
“And so are you.” Thorn whispered into her ear, stroking her sunray-coloured scales from the beginning of her sail all the way to her back “My sweet little Beetle, always caring for others.”
Sunny sniffed again, then inhaled sharply as though she had suffered a serious injury.
Thorn didn’t want to tell her how agonising it felt when she thought her egg was lost forever. Didn’t want to tell her how hopeful she’d felt when she showed up, how perfect and right it had felt to have her under her wings, under her care, even though she knew nothing about her. That sometimes, dragons experienced love for the unknown. Even if that love came with affliction.
“She needs him, even if she didn’t say that.”
“I know, sweetheart.” The Queen continued to soothe her, brushing one claw against her sail.
“I just can’t take it.”
“I know.”
It was never you.
“A-and Tsunami was so mean to her! I don’t know why, Starflight wouldn’t tell me! She said something about how she can’t even bear the sight of her, but why? She’d done nothing wro-”
Highly evanescent, the dream immediately dissipated as Thorn was roused by strong, gentle talons massaging her shoulders, leaving her palms empty, the little hybrid’s story unfinished and the SandWing Queen to wonder what could’ve caused such commotion at Jade Mountain Academy, and related to Moonwatcher no less.
She had fallen asleep at her desk again, with scrolls, inkpots, candles and a worn, old map on top in an acceptable disarray around her. As she lifted her head to face her King, waves running down her brown-speckled sail, something clinked against the edge of the stone near the intricate adornments on its side right to her stomach, engulfing the room in ethereal ringing for a few heartbeats. It wasn’t the eye-catching golden symbol of her truthful reign with the judging orb of endless darkness glistening in twilight - that piece of jewellery rested too high on her chest, right at the base of her neck.
It came from the claw-long moonstone pendant shaped as a grain of rice, hanging from an ordinary copper chain.
It was never you.
Resisting the urge to shake her head, to part with her haunting past and the memory, the feeling of holding her daughter, Thorn realised that, after a quick glance into Smolder’s warm, strict gaze, she was already leaning sideways to open the drawer to her left, on the very top, to hastily feel her way to the secret compartment at its bottom storing her own dreamvisitor, perfectly identical to the original three, having been created in their image via Prince Turtle’s enchanted bowl, a little after the very beginning of a new era, of a fresh start, a blank slate.
An empty space waiting to be filled with hope.
She needed to contact Sunny. She needed to know how she could ease her sorrow, even if that meant seeing more glimpses of what had been once, of what she could never change, sharp as splinters of glass piercing through her heart again. However, the deep blue star-shaped gemstone appeared to be unreachable for her, for Smolder’s talons now rested on the very drawer she strived to get into, preventing her from pursuing her plans for the rest of the night.
“You need to rest.” The ex-Prince reminded her softly, then, upon seeing the disagreement, the resistance on her pale face, he added “I insist.”
Thorn looked away.
“Send for Qibli. Turns out Moonwatcher still has a few free days she wants to spend with him.”
“Missing him, eh?” Smolder mused.
The Queen just nodded curtly, still frustrated over Sunny’s pain. For some odd reason, she found herself unwilling to share with him what had gone down just now.
“Understandable.” The ex-Prince continued “I miss Rose too. In fact, I miss her so much that I might leave for Sanctuary again. Writing to each other doesn’t really work yet.” He chuckled softly “In her last letter, she said she wanted to spread jam on the head of my third cousin once removed. Pretty sure she meant she cannot wait to see my face again.”
“Then keep missing her alone if you don’t let me contact my daughter who’s clearly in distress.” Thorn warned him.
The King of the SandWings gave her a knowing look.
“I was only looking out for you.”
And she knew that. She was grateful for his affection and attentiveness but sometimes he took it on another level - a level the former leader of the OutClaws couldn’t possibly be comfortable with. Especially not considering her thorough understanding of how losing his previous partner had evoked some kind of fear, a desire, an instinct to overprotect his loved ones at all costs inside him. Needless to say, it couldn’t exactly be graded as healthy for either of them. He needed to become stronger and move on, precisely how she had done.
It was never you.
“Try another way, if you don’t want to go on a field trip in the dungeons.”
Speaking about dungeons, Thorn had successfully reminded herself of another immensely great concern of hers: they still had no possible idea nor any lead on who could’ve freed Cobra, Qibli’s mother and Onyx, Smolder’s daughter one and a half years ago. Most importantly, were they even the same dragon or organisation that took Prickle, Onyx’s aunt, who got incarcerated in her sister’s stead and became insane over the years of the war? What use did they even have for her fragile, feeble mind? And what use did it give them to invest in special formations and detective work if still to this very night chilling to the bone, no one has seen Vulture. At all. Nobody managed to even locate him let alone encapture .
“Yes, Your Highness.” Smolder addressed her, giving in, though his caring smile seemed to remain, bathing her in its warmth.
The moment he left, she reached for the enchanted item.
It was never you.
***
Despite the sun almost reaching its zenith, Moonwatcher was early .
Te Queen of the RainWings and NightWings didn’t expect her until after-suntime, according to Tsunami, who had made sure her adoptive sister knew about her arrival. How it concerned a ruler heavily occupied with her joined tribe’s matters in her every waking moment, she couldn’t comprehend - nor did she find the power in herself to ask questions. Though the moment of gaining more clarity had passed alongside with the incredible mental torment it had caused, to see the Dragonets of Destiny, represented by the principal confront her with their wavered trust in her very person. Just as she finally thought she could belong. That she did before during her student years, so surely that wouldn’t change with her volunteering. Moons, they seemed so happy with her joining the teachers’ ranks. What could’ve possibly changed? Was it her mindreading that Princess Tsunami suddenly deemed as unsafe for the institutional environment for a reason she couldn’t yet see? Were some of her tribemates still holding a grudge against her for getting to grow up between teeming, verdant leaves and all the fruit she could ever want, breathing flower-scented, humid air so clear that it must’ve come from animus magic?
After a time, her already sleep-deprived mind capitulated before the merciless armada of her racing thoughts, giving in to the heavy rain of pressure-arrows and anxiety-spears they had caused. Of course she couldn’t rest back there, how could she? In some moments where the pulpous, thick darkness surrounding her, engulfing her bedchamber, ready to swallow it whole seemed too heavy, too much to bear for her weary heart; Moonwatcher felt as though she would rather have that nightmare again instead.
The one she had kept having for the last year, the very one that had been frequenting her mind more and more during the past couple of months. The one where, at the end, a NightWing more obsidian than the Darkest Night stood on top of a tall, shark-tooth-shaped boulder, not bothering to give a single glance to the dragons he’d betrayed, the ones he’d let perish in cold blood and be devoured by the ever-hungry shadows of daybreak. Or… were the skies on fire? But from what? What could’ve set it ablaze? Was it even possible for that to occur? There was a fire going on behind the boulder after all. Fire and destruction. Lands shattered by rivers of blood and wails of hurt as if it were the finest collection of glassware, the very future they had lost.
Feeling completely out of her body, Moonwatcher struggled to focus on it any longer. Surely, it was just a side-product of her overactive mind having faced too much and yet too little of the world’s cruelty and wonders, unable to put its worries and fret to rest when times turned for the better, expecting only what it had grown accustomed to, like many others - cells battling with themselves to function inside a husk of flesh infected with war much too long ago to make full recovery just yet - if it ever will.
Recovery .
Not only did she probably lose her post as a substitute at Jade Mountain Academy for a reason yet to be comprehended - if that could even be achieved in her position - but now… now she was going home, to her mother’s hut, to aid her in caring for her eleven-year-old brother she had never seen before until he passes. She was... grateful that Sunny had contacted Thorn, even though she felt as though she could only stay in her new reality, never to let it go from her weary grasp, if she was left alone, in complete solitude, where her control tended to grow the largest. Even though she had protested with every last morsel of her strength and self-preservaiton against opening up to the little golden SandWing and her just as unbelievably good-hearted and empathetic NightWing friend about her newfound worries yesterday.
It made her feel loved. Wanted. A sentiment she’d only ever dared to dream of all her seven years of life.
She didn’t wait for long, staring into the seemingly endless hole beneath thick curtains of vivid green wet moss. The freckled face with one small pink scar running across its snout soon showed itself, followed by the very dragon it belonged to, eager to join her, rushing to meet her, to chase all her troubles away with his desert-heat-embrace.
Together, they would have their special audience with the Queen of the Rainforest. Together, they would be led to the other half of her domain - and so it was. After the guards granted them entry into the inner circles, another pair of them escorted the two to the part of Glory’s residence where she would await her subjects’ arrival and listen to their matters to be dealt with. Everything went according to the protocol Moon had yet to grow used to, for she was still a stranger to her own, a walking, visible ghost of their jealousy and fear never to let too close to oneself.
The RainWing dragoness with deep blue eyes of sun-kissed lakes hidden by dense foliage appeared to harbour even more immense anger than the SeaWing principal. Moon couldn’t help but suspect now that perhaps this was indeed related to her . That perhaps they were all frustrated with her instead of what she could’ve done . The way even her guards stared into her soul dared to suffocate. To discourage. To reduce to minute grains never to find their place in the whole again.
It all felt so surreal.
Having this towering mass of deep sorrow toward a dragon she didn’t even know. An older brother her mother’s letter barely mentioned anything about. Were they half-siblings or did they have the same parents? Where could he have been all this time without anyone finding out about him and his identity? Why was he dying and from what exactly? Since when did her mother keep this a secret from her? Right, she didn't know either… the fact of which only managed to raise more of those pressing questions inside Moonwatcher’s skull already swarming with thoughts on countless other matters.
All she could see clearly right now was that she came here.
She would’ve come regardless of what had happened with Tsunami. She would’ve come because she wanted to get to know this mysterious brother of hers, even if it would only be for a few months to have together. Weeks, even. It would be worth it, it felt like it would. Family was, after all, family, at the end of the day - chosen or born into, it mattered not. It shouldn’t. And it did not, as she had seen it countless times before. Seen it during her years at the Academy, seen it in the Rainforest building itself up anew, seen it with Qibli and Thorn, with the Dragonets of Destiny, with Sunny and Fatespeaker.
How could she not want something like that for herself and her own to have?
*
“What happened to him?”
If there was a way to express herself honestly, she would’ve told them she didn’t want to be enlightened about that topic. Didn’t want to yet had to if she ever strived to achieve a state where she comprehended everything.
Instead of her own crippling uneasiness, Moonwatcher chose to concentrate on the RainWing Healer, Rafflesia’s well-trained talons as she was preparing for cleaning and re-dressing Dawnbreaker’s wounds. Based on the amount of sterilised gauze, oily leaves and oddly smelling infection-preventing paste, her heart’s strengthless whispers informed her about her suspicions soon turning into reality. About how she should look away in a few minutes before the blankets hiding the rest of his body are lifted and she faints from the sight. But the Mind Reader couldn’t.
She forced herself, her every muscle to stay put. Forced her eyes the colour of meadows after heavy rain to watch his pale, hollow cheeks, his wings, one deformed and the other as perfectly healthy as it could be, the scales peeling off of his unconscious form in various places. His empty mind felt like a calmly flowing fog against her skin, a thick cloud of vaporised water at her windows pierced through by shards of pain sharp enough to get through her half-skyfire-barrier from time to time.
Then, the moment came and she gasped in shock.
Standing next to her, Qibli just wordlessly stared at the horrible shape, no, shadow of the dragon who was supposed to be living his life, finding an occupation, making time to visit his mother and sending her letters attached to Secretkeeper’s every month instead of lying there, skin and bones, barely moving, struggling for every shallow breath to come. And his bandages weren’t even removed by Rafflesia yet. The world was starting to come to a stop around her. This was just another nightmare, it had to be! Maybe she had fallen asleep while waiting for Qibli and none of this ever happened. Maybe she’d become too anxious as a result of holding classes to dragonets to let her mind properly relax. Otherwise… otherwise she would’ve felt even more awful right now, thinking about life’s unfairness, about how she had been given the privilege of spending her early years bathing in warm, pleasant rays of sun amidst neverending greenery and sustenance, in complete solitude and yet, content .
There was nothing even remotely content about this .
The Healer with scales the dark burgundy colour of the very carnivorous flower she was named after did what she had to do as though her eyes weren’t working and somehow still appeared rather caring toward her brother. Secretkeeper told them how Rafflesia checked in on them even more often after learning the truth but the other dragoness seemed to pay no mind to it. Her coming across as unfriendly and cold most of the time, not to mention her constantly-exhausted state, was nothing new to Moonwatcher nor Queen Glory, who, according to her mother, also visited her hut quite frequently these days, doubtlessly solicitous about Dawnbreaker’s fate. And though her mind didn’t give off anything strong enough for her to detect, Moon could almost vividly see in her mind the remarkable baggage of worry Rafflesia had carried, even with her abilities silenced.
She was a good dragon. A conscientious Healer rarely found across Pyrrhia, some would say. Moonwatcher dared to agree despite recalling so little about her and what she was truly like on the inside. Dawnbreaker is in good care , her mother’s words from her last letter echoed in her mind, painted with the tone she’d first imagined Secretkeeper saying that with, and the Mind Reader had no choice but to believe it.
The three adults present told her more.
Some of her questions got completely answered while others barely made sense after what she had learned. Some remained untouched as though they were suspected to hide poison behind the words they consisted of. However, most of what she’d heard was never something that would’ve occurred to her. Not him becoming Mastermind’s next experiment after Morrowseer had delivered a cracked egg to him upon Battlewinner’s orders. Not him being locked underground, never to see the light of day for eight long years, even if the skies were covered with stubborn, deadly curtains of smoke and ash. Not him having only a piece of a mind, lacking something that could make it whole - that could make him look instead of seeing, listen instead of hearing. Not him having suffered from an unknown ailment for so long it had led to the decision of euthanizing him, which, clearly didn’t happen after all.
He would not let them.
Moonwatcher could see Secretkeeper and Rafflesia struggling through it all, their minds writhing under the weight of their agony, radiating with pain, sadness and hopelessness even through the protective barrier of her bracelet. She had come to the conclusion that in this form, her abilities worked much akin to the way of Fatespeaker’s, only sensing emotions, and the strongest ones at that, leaving her only with the loudest of thoughts powered by said intense feelings, therefore making them recognisable. Hearable.
Rafflesia was greatly disappointed in herself, angry at herself for failing to heal Dawnbreaker from his ailment. She was practically pulsating with fury Moon had initially thought the same as the one she’d regarded herself with, although, following a bit more of perceiving, she could see how it was more identical to what the Queen was experiencing. How it grew tenfold whenever the Healer lifted her piercing yellow gaze, resting it dangerously lazily on Secretkeeper’s form broken by hurt filling her mind in its entirety. A hurt so immense that it pained her to look any further.
So she didn’t.
*
They were sitting by the low table in her mother’s main living area with their backs to the wall under the windowsill. Queen Glory had already left with her guards - two exceptionally unusual RainWings, one a mauve-y magenta and the other the colour of pale succulents with pink stripes across her tail -, then Rafflesia had departed to tend to her other duties at the Healers’ Garden and Qibli had volunteered to watch over Dawn for the time being. How long? Moonwatcher could only guess.
“It’s all because of me.” Secretkeeper suddenly choked out, breaking the ice of their silence having grown rather thick as the minutes spent coated in tenacious, eerie stillness went by, without much ease or elegance “They are like that because I chose to stay silent about everything until it was too late to disclose them.”
Moonwatcher was fairly sure she had meant the Queen and the Healer, though she had already witnessed the existence of the same stinging despite in other dragons’ eyes earlier that day. There was nothing left to protect her from with vague wording and holding back details.
“Like how you hid me here?” She queried, hoping to gain clarity on the matter - whatever it may be about.
Knowing how Secretkeeper’s past deeds were still highly frowned upon among NightWings who had decided to remain inhabitants of the Rainforest - or worse they ended up coming to the conclusion that she ever so wrongly thought her dragonet deserved special treatment and was too good to be brought up with the others; Moonwatcher found herself immensely worried about her once again, not even wanting to think about how she must’ve been treated if both of them were involved in this.
“Yes.” The dragoness went on, her words dried by ruthless, scorching rays of her inner struggles “This one though isn’t that forgivable of a treachery.”
“Treachery?” Moon repeated the word in haste, with more vigour feeding on her own disquiet.
“Its about your father.” The older NightWing breathed, her peacock-blue gaze resting on the coffee-grain-toned wood instead of her daughter’s shining green orbs.
At that moment, she finally understood. They were having that very difficult conversation Secretkeeper wanted them to have once she returned to the Rainforest. Right here. Right now. And the word they had used just now didn’t exactly help her anxious heart, dying to hear more yet fretting the answer all the same.
“Why isn’t that forgivable? What did he do?” Moon continued to swarm her with questions, desperate to move their talk forward - to cease the uneasiness keeping her hostage “Who is he?”
She could feel Secretkeeper lowering her mind walls. The ones she had slowly developed while she was still little. The ones that soon were rising again under the reign of her mother’s hesitation and terror . She was greatly struggling, even more so than what she’d initially assumed, and yet, in the raging storm of her last line of defence before the edge of breaking down, Moonwatcher could tell she wanted to do things right this once - and the only way for that to happen was for her daughter to know how she truly felt. Now, before and even earlier than that. And the Mind Reader had to come to the realisation that her mother was trying even harder to remain strong than herself .
It must’ve been paining her greatly.
“Mother…” She faltered.
“Let me tell you everything and then, if you’ll still feel like you want to give me another chance,” Her dark teal seas of sorrow were now locked with hers, for her to see, for her to feel how serious, how genuinely honest those words were, reassuring her of having a choice “then take down the skyfire.”
The outcome of which mattered not to her. She would love her daughter, always, no matter how the newly acquired pieces of their cursed past finding their place in her puzzle would change her view of her. It should’ve calmed Moon down, but instead, it only terrified her.
She nodded at last, still emotional from it all.
“Your father was Morrowseer.”
Her mother’s voice reached her completely spent, broken, barely audible, yet perfectly capable of opening her eyes wide, of making her wordlessly stare at her in utter shock and disbelief, deeply hurt from a mere statement. The one who was responsible for all? The war, the fake prophecy, the doom of the NightWing tribe, preventing them from leaving their demise before everything was ready ?
How?
“There may have been a time when he was different. Even in his darkest moments, I could still see the light in his eyes. I was foolish.” Secretkeeper breathed, her eyes unfocused, heavy with ache “I still am.”
The moment she closed them after saying that, Moon understood. She still loved him. Even after all that had happened, after all those innocent dragons dying unimaginable deaths across the entire continent. She couldn’t grasp it at all. The next best thing deemed by her turned out to be deciding to put it down next to her on her mental workbench for another time to ponder upon. She wanted to be angry at her, she truly did, because why? Just why? Not to mention, how? It was unimaginably awful, letting it crawl under her skin and haunt her, but she... She just couldn’t harbour resentment and indignation toward her, no matter how hard she tried. No matter how right it would’ve felt. Remembering how she felt pity for Darkstalker even after learning about all his horrible deeds, was she even in a place to judge her mother?
“I regret many things in my life but I never regretted having you.”
She didn’t even have to remove her barrier and prod her mind to get a taste of the levels of emotional torment Secretkeeper was living right now. It felt as though her mother’s very heart, her soul were laying in front of her, spread out on the table, at her mercy.
Moonwatcher stepped closer to press her talons into her palm, to give her a solid, undoubtable sign that she won’t go, that Secretkeeper won’t lose her support in getting through something so immensely difficult. Her secrets were always a means of protection, she knew that, she had learned that from her, but now, now everything seemed to gain all the more sense in her eyes. If something this horrible got out, a lot of dragons would’ve come after them, for their own pain, for their family’s loss.
Oh… It did get out…
The world was starting to spin around her, making her dizzy and disoriented. It was unfair . Endlessly, indescribably so. Getting hated and misjudged because of a dragon she’d never even known, she’d never even met? This unfairness was what Secretkeeper feared would happen if she opened her mouth. But if she didn’t, then… then who did ? Who else could’ve known about this if nobody dared to speak of it before?
Moonwatcher fiercely threw herself against Secretkeeper’s scales, and she cradled her for long, long minutes; her back bent so much that she could rest her head on top of her daughter’s wings tucked closely to her sides by some kind of peculiar, pleasant anxiety. Their cries were silent while impetuous waves of relief and sorrow wreaked havoc inside their hearts. And when there were no tears left to hand over to their past as a parting gift, Secretkeeper looked into her green eyes, her gaze softly prodding hers, looking for permission. And when she found what she was looking for, she gently reached out to help her remove her armband.
“No more secrets.” She purred into her ears with all the love a mother could ever give.
“No more secrets.” Moon sniffed in response, her voice still weak.
Leather rustled on hardwood floor as Secretkeeper stroked the scales to see if they’d been damaged by wearing her crowd-aid, however, even if they were, Moonwatcher couldn’t have told her with her mind gates forced open so wide and so suddenly that her very soul shivered in protest. Forced to take in the ruthless winds of something absolutely horrible. Something she desperately wished she could never experience. Words forming painful sentences telling a tale she never wanted to hear.
Words.