Chapter Text
The breakup hit Buck harder than he ever expected. After everything, Tommy had been his anchor, someone he could lean on when everything else in his life felt shaky. Now, Buck was left alone with no one to turn to and a struggle that felt too heavy to carry alone. The mornings were the hardest—the silence, the empty bed, and, worst of all, waking up in soaked sheets.
Each morning, he woke with a sense of dread, hoping it wouldn’t happen again, and each morning, that hope was shattered. Buck would strip the sheets, tossing them in the washer with a bitterness that stung even deeper than the cold of the wet bed. He hated himself for it, hated what this had become. He tried to ignore it, wearing boxers or skipping water at night, hoping somehow that would change things. But nothing did.
On particularly bad mornings, he’d find himself calling in sick. At first, it was just one day, then another. He didn’t want to face the guys at the station, didn’t want to deal with Eddie’s worried looks or Bobby’s gentle but probing questions.
After the third missed shift, Eddie knocked on his door, a look of genuine concern in his eyes. “Buck, man, what’s going on? You’ve been MIA, and everyone’s worried.”
But Buck wasn’t ready to talk, especially not about his humiliation. The pain of the breakup, coupled with his worsening condition, left him raw and angry. He snapped, his voice sharp. “I don’t need you, Eddie! Just leave me the hell alone!”
Eddie took a step back, his face hurt but understanding. “Buck, I’m not here to push you. I just want you to know… we’re all here. You’re not alone.”
Buck didn’t answer, closing the door before Eddie could say anything else. Inside, he let out a shaky breath, sinking down to the floor. Alone. That word echoed in his mind. He was alone now.
Struggles in Public
Trying to maintain some semblance of normalcy, Buck forced himself to go out. He threw on his old boxers, trying to reclaim some control over his own body, hoping the thin material would make a difference. But the accidents didn’t stop. In stores, he’d feel the warm wetness spread down his legs, his face burning as he looked down, seeing the stain spreading through his pants. The worst part was the laughter or the disgusted looks from strangers. He’d rush out, humiliated, ducking into the first restroom he could find to clean up as best he could.
Isolation and Denial
As the days turned to weeks, Buck began to isolate himself more and more. The laughter and the stares, the pity he saw in people’s eyes—it was too much. He avoided his friends, refused calls, ignored texts, and, most painfully, shut out Eddie and the entire team. Buck knew deep down that they cared, but he didn’t want their pity or sympathy. And he especially didn’t want them to know the extent of how broken he’d become.
Sitting alone in his darkened apartment, Buck tried to fight the memories of Tommy, the feeling of his arms around him, the reassurances that they’d face everything together. But now… now he was alone.
A Visit from the 118
One evening, a knock broke the silence. Buck ignored it at first, hoping they’d go away. But the knocking continued, louder and more insistent. Finally, he pulled himself up, opening the door a crack to see Eddie standing there, with Chimney, Hen, and Bobby behind him.
“Buck, we’re not leaving until you let us in,” Eddie said softly, his voice unwavering.
Buck’s shoulders slumped, the walls he’d built finally cracking. He stepped aside, allowing them in, feeling a mix of shame and relief as they filled the empty silence of his apartment.
“Buck,” Bobby said gently, his hand resting on Buck’s shoulder, “we’re your family. And family doesn’t walk away just because things get hard.”
Buck nodded, his voice breaking as he finally let himself feel the weight of it all. “I… I thought I could handle it alone. I didn’t want anyone to see me like this.”
Hen stepped forward, her eyes kind. “You don’t have to hide from us. We’re here, no matter what.”
Eddie put a hand on Buck’s arm. “We’re all here, Buck. And we’re not going anywhere.”
With that, Buck finally let the tears fall, feeling the arms of his team around him. For the first time in a long while, he didn’t feel alone. He had a family—one that wasn’t going to let him go.